WEBVTT - #1931 Reading The Room - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.200 Bobby Capuccio, Welcome back to you project brother, how are 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:04.960 you all right? 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:07.320 And welcome back to the self help and to do it. 0:00:08.200 --> 0:00:11.440 Welcome back to both of these. We hope you well everybody. 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:14.720 So welcoming environment. I think we're off to a good start. 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:19.880 Have we started. I think we're both standing at the 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:23.520 starting line. I can't say we've moved too far forward. 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:27.840 It's nine oh four as we record on a Thursday 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:29.600 morning in the thriving metropolis. 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:33.239 And what is it in San Diego? 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:41.480 Is it living metropolis of San Diego? It's sixteen five. 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:45.880 Yeah, just about just five minutes past four. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:49.919 This is super early for us in that it is 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:50.639 it is us. 0:00:50.720 --> 0:00:51.680 It is early for us. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.560 So one of the things that people don't know about 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:57.240 you is that you've got a You've got a good 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:59.720 little well some people don't. You've got a great little 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.680 that sounded condescending. You've got a great ig page called 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:07.120 the self Help Antidote. So if you don't follow Bobby, 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:10.800 he's currently at three five, three four, let's see if 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:13.319 we can boost that up to four thousand followers in 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:15.240 the next day or three. Have a little bit of 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:17.000 a listener and a follow but anyway, I want to 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:21.000 work through some of your thoughts that you share. 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.119 So I'm just going to so here's the protocol for today. 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:25.920 If you're right with that, I'm. 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:31.039 Just going to share something that you've said, and I 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:34.959 want you then to just riff on that for one, two, 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:37.760 three minutes. And I like this and this will be 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:43.880 relevant to speakers, want to be speakers, workshop facilitators, anyone 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:47.199 who gets in front of a group and you said, 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:50.960 the last thing your audience feels is the first thing 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:55.280 they remember. So kill the Q and a session at 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:59.040 the end of your presentations and finish with impact. So 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:01.200 but I like all of it, but I really like 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:04.160 the first part. The last thing your audience feels is 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:05.520 the first thing they remember. 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:09.480 Where did you learn that? You did that become evident? 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:10.840 You know? 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.000 Did you just become aware of that by doing that? 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.840 Did someone teach you that and tell us about that concept? 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:19.720 I think it's a little bit of both. Like we've 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:24.440 talked about this before, where when you are you are 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:26.560 working for someone who or they bring you out and 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:29.680 they don't do presentations themselves. They have a lot of 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:34.000 ideas about what creates a great presentation and a lot 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:37.520 of those ideas, unfortunately are false and they don't resonate 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:42.040 with the audience. The audience isn't going to remember necessarily 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:45.480 every bullet point or the data that you shared, or 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.200 like this specific reference or scientific study. Not saying that 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:53.120 all of that stuff is not important because it's it's empowering, 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:55.760 it's a specific takeaway, but all of that's predicated on 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:58.880 how did they feel. Like everybody's had the death by 0:02:59.000 --> 0:03:02.320 power point to experience where it's like, oh my goodness, 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:06.120 all right, slide thirty seven excellent. By the time he 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:07.960 gets to thirty eight, I'm going to pick my pen 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:11.239 up off of this table and stab myself in the 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:15.680 left eye. Versus where you've gone to a twelve hour 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:19.040 event and you're energized through most of it. Because of 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:23.239 how you feel and how you feel one it determines 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:27.320 how likely you are to even implement anything that you're 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:31.480 sitting through. And it does affect memory and retention and 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.239 all of that good stuff. But at the end of 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.040 the day, people are going to remember, how did I 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:39.960 feel in that session? Was was I inspired like this? 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:44.200 This week, I was doing a debrief and one of 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:46.760 the things that came back in the evals where people like, oh, 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.160 I really love the book references because I want to 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:53.640 go out and explore some of those books. That's a win. 0:03:54.160 --> 0:03:58.040 Somebody felt something and then as they felt something, they 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:02.400 heard something that inspired them that they can learn more, 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.280 or they can have more, or they can be more 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:08.320 as a result of the content being discussed, they're going 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:12.400 to leave there and go investigator on their own. You 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:15.920 might have created a lifelong learner in that session. That's 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:18.760 one of the highest outcomes. So it's not like, oh wow, 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.560 like these three points that I'm bringing in, there's no 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.280 way they're going to get through these three points anywhere else. 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.560 I mean, it's not like we have anything where you 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:32.440 can go watch seemingly unlimited amount of high quality videos 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:34.800 being produced and you can access that for free. 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:37.200 And finally we had that Yeah, you and I should 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:37.960 shot something. 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.799 It's almost like a TV for you, like a YouTube. 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:43.120 You know that somebody should do something about that. 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:43.960 There you go. 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:48.400 So maybe we should invent the internet as well. Go on, 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.160 I interrupted, kick going Internet. 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:53.480 That sounds amazing. We need to talk about that. Offul lone. 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:57.120 Okay, I here, let's let's let's shut this down because 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:59.200 we've got a lot to get through, but maybe just 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:04.320 one momentute. I'm thinking, as you're talking, I coach a 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:07.520 few speakers, and I know you've helped speakers over the 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:10.640 years and continue to educate and inspire and all of that. 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:13.600 But it's such a good. 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:19.800 Point because when we are, when speakers are or people 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:21.440 who are going to be in front of a group 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:25.279 have to present in inverted commas or share two minutes 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:28.680 introducing someone, or they tend to be so obsessed with 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:33.360 remembering stuff or their content, or you know, is this 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:37.160 a good is this accurate, is this good science? Is 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:40.159 this relevant to this group? And all of those things matter, 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:44.280 But you might have the best content in terms of 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:48.000 you know, this is it's all scientifically valid and relevant 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:50.880 and all of these points are salient and it actually 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:55.640 is representative of the audience. But if you're not building 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:58.919 connection and rapport, if you're not touching people emotionally, if 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:02.360 there's no story, there's no humor, if there's no engagement, 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:08.119 despite the fact that the content is good, then one 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:11.000 you're probably not going to get another gig as a speaker, 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:13.840 not with them anyway, And two people are going to 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:18.120 walk away from that feeling uninspired despite the great content. 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:23.279 Absolutely. I mean, if you're a subject matter expert, you're 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.680 diving through that stuff every single day. And I'm not 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:27.880 saying you don't have a structure, having a structure, knowing 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:30.000 where you're going to go and an idea of how 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.200 to get there, and being adaptable that it might not 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.480 work out that way based on what's happening in the audience. 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.200 All that stuff is important, but if you're doing that 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.080 stuff every day, it's a matter of letting go and 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.280 connecting with the audience first and foremost. I want to 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:45.040 answer your question about the Q and A because when 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:48.360 you take a look at emotional impact, there's two factors, 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:52.720 two variables. There's primacy and recency, right, Like, what does 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.520 that mean? What did you open with? What did you 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:56.039 end with? 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:56.960 Right? 0:06:57.040 --> 0:07:00.560 Right? So those two things set the stage for how 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.480 much they remember and how relevant and engage they are 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:08.960 emotionally and mentally in every bit within the middle. And 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:12.040 imagine going to a rock concert and it's like they 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:15.520 come out, they do this amazing encore and everybody's on 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:18.760 their feet cheering, and then it's like, Okay, well we're 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.560 gonna do a Q and A. Now any questions, and 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:25.560 guy in the fifth row is like, whoa, how do 0:07:25.600 --> 0:07:28.680 you keep your hair like so long and wavy? Could 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:31.720 you tell us about like some hair product recommendation. You've 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.560 just killed the energy. That's That's where I'm walking back 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:38.360 to the car thinking about, rather than that was an 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:42.600 amazing finale to that concert. It's the same thing. It's 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:45.600 not that I'm against answering questions, just where do. 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:46.080 You do it? 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.080 Do you know what would be even a better a 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.280 bitter story for that is, like I say, they say, 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:56.160 come out, They do an oncre they plied back in black, 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:00.640 They ply you shook me all not long, They ply bells, 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:04.120 they walk off stage and the audience goes nuts, and 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.400 they come back and then they play a brand new 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:08.040 song that no one's ever heard. 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:12.000 That's shit, and then they say thanks very much, see 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:13.280 you later. You know. 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:18.320 It's like people like everyone was just euphoric and now 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:20.880 they just walk with through the car park to their 0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:23.240 car with their head in their hands, going what the 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:23.840 fuck was that? 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:29.600 Yeah? That's that. That's a beautiful analogy. Actually, all right, 0:08:29.640 --> 0:08:31.440 they want to do that would be because they would 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:32.319 test that prior. 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.480 Okay, next, So this is all from Bobby's page. 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:39.160 I've got like quite a bit on this, but I'm 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:42.960 just going to read the headline, Clarity beats clever how 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:46.600 to actually reach people? Now, I feel like this is 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:49.320 in the same ballpark as where we just were, But 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:52.320 I like that clarity beats clever. 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:56.600 I feel like I have, like anyone who knows me 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.720 like nos, I probably have no business talking about this. 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:05.000 That's like me talking about like brevity versus something else. 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:11.720 So a little bit hypocritical. But just here's a question. 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:16.600 I'm going to ask your audience who is John Grinder 0:09:17.960 --> 0:09:21.880 or Richard Bandler? And I'm sure a good portion of 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:25.680 your audience knows exactly who those two gentlemen are, but 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:29.400 a greater portion of your audience has absolutely no idea 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:33.120 who they are. Now, have you ever heard the name 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:39.520 Tony Robbins? H I would be astonished if there's someone 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:43.320 out there going Tony who? I think? Yeah, does he 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.120 work at the corner shop? No, he's a household name. 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:51.360 If you wanted to learn about let's say NLP, for example, 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:55.880 would you go to a Richard Bandler workshop or a 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:59.000 Tony Robbins workshop? Most people would say Tony Robins. Where 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:03.880 Richard Bandler and John Grinder are the founders of neurolinguistic programming, 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:08.600 and they probably understand have a deeper understanding and bandwidth 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:10.880 about how it's applied than anybody else in the world. 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:15.560 But Tony Robbins, as intelligent as he is, he captivates 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:19.680 people as well. So he not only forms, he entertains. 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:23.559 He not only does that, but he creates an environment 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:28.040 where you can see greater possibilities for yourself in the future. 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:31.240 There's a version of you in the seat in that seminar, 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:34.120 and then you're looking out to a version of you 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:37.959 three months, six months, a year down the line that 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:42.200 just energizes you, aligns with your values, and draws you out. 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:46.160 That's why it's so engaging. So that's the point. You 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:50.760 don't have to worry about phrasing. Things are articulately or 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.280 with the ultimate amount of eloquence that comes with practice 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.720 and sometimes the things that you say, Like sometimes you 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:01.240 hear a speaker say something and the way that phrase it, 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:05.120 it's like, oh my god, that just landed. It's what 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:09.040 they're saying. It's the sentence structure, it's how they string 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:13.040 ideas together. It's the tonality, it's the emotion. It's all 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:17.200 of that, but all of that occurs by a speaker 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:22.320 who is willing to say something imperfectly yet communicate it 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:27.000 with clarity, sincerity, and energy. And by energy, I don't 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:30.680 mean the person's bouncing off the wall. I just mean 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:34.360 that there is something of them that they are present 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:39.120 in every utterance and every bridge between who they are 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:43.240 and where that audience is and where they're going. So 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:45.080 that if that explains it. 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:50.200 Yeah, yeah, it's funny how many people are renowned for something, 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:53.880 known for something, famous for something that they didn't create. 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:59.480 You know, you think about like at the moment, there's 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:01.720 a little there's a little bit of a few row. 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.960 I don't know how big it is. But so Mel 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.760 Robin's the well known whatever she is. I think she 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:10.480 was originally a lawyer. Now she kind of falls in 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:14.200 the I guess you would call human performance, self help, 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:15.720 personal development space. 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:17.000 Who wrote a. 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:21.520 Book called let Them Theory. Yeah, it's called let Them Theory. 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:25.040 I haven't read it, but my understanding is it's like 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:26.680 people are going to do this to you, da da 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:28.600 da let them. People are going to say that about you, 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:32.320 let them but whatever, right, which is not really a 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:34.920 brand new concept. But there was another lady called Cassie 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:40.800 Phillips who wrote a poem. Have you heard this, Bobby, Yes. 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:44.000 So she wrote a poem called let Them. So there's 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:49.080 this underground kind of disase of people who were going 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:53.760 because Cassie Phillips wrote this poem. I don't know the 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.120 whole backstory, but she wrote a poem called let Them. 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:59.000 And then mel Robins wrote a book called Let Them 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:03.000 Theory and never gave any credit to this person who 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:05.920 wrote this poem. And it's quite long and it's quite 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:11.520 a very very similar vibe. Now, maybe she knew about it, 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.440 I would say she did, or maybe. 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:15.360 Well, I don't know. I don't know. 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:19.160 But anyway, it's quite funny because so she's written this book. 0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:22.080 By the way, I've not read it, but people tell 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:23.880 me it's a great book. So it probably is a 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:27.400 great book. But it's so funny that there are so 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:31.480 many people who like when you think, also, if I'm 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:33.800 being honest and we zoom out, you look at human 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:37.040 behavior and behavioral psychology and self help and personal development 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:40.920 and all the shit you and I talk about. You know, 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.240 there are new settings and new environments and new challenges. 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:49.720 But human behavior has essentially been the same forever, like 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.800 the human brain and the human mind. It's not drastically 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.959 different to a thousand years ago or two thousand years 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:59.200 ago when the Stoics were talking about self awareness and 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.319 know thyself and all this stuff. It's not like, oh, 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:04.920 you know, all the stuff that we talk about is 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:08.280 brand new. So it's really been around forever, all of 0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:08.840 this stuff. 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.800 I think that plays into what we were talking about 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:16.960 where it's the original author, but then who communicates it 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:21.200 in a way that not only intellectually but emotionally resonates. 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:24.840 Like if you think about finite games or infinite games, 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.440 who pops into your head, Oh, that's Simon Sinek. But 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:34.200 actually that book was first written by James cars. If 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.400 you think about Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:40.840 all small Stuff, you think about Richard Carson. But the 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:45.640 person who originally wrote the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Ps, 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:50.000 it's all small stuff not a very different title is 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:53.280 a gentleman who I know very well, who lives not 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:57.640 too far from me, right, So he wrote that book 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:06.200 or original So doctor Michael Mantel interesting interesting individually he does. 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.320 He does a lot of speaking, you probably know exactly 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:12.360 who he is, so you and I'm by far not 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.760 a household name, but I was pretty much a big 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.440 name in the health and fitness industry for a while, 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:22.120 and there was stuff that you know, I created, and 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:25.040 I wore the T shirt, the emblem, and I would 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.000 go into health clubs, people oh my god, and they 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:30.600 would name somebody else that we hired after that was 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:35.320 more associated with my work than I was. Why because 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:39.840 clearly the way this individual learned it from me and 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:43.480 then from us and then taught it resonated with the 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:48.160 audience to a greater degree than I did as the author. 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:50.520 It's it's emotional connection. 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.400 I think about all the stuff that I put out 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:59.240 into the world, not including these conversations, but all the 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:02.720 the stuff I should on Instagram, which for whatever reason, 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.080 and I'm very grateful, but it's doing great. It's like 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:09.000 it's at the minute, it's never been busy of six 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:12.200 and a half million views per thirty. 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:13.520 Days at the moment and all of that. 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:18.320 But if I'm being truthful, while everything I write, you 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:22.040 know comes out of my head, but really these ideas 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:27.080 and concepts and this advice and these messages are a 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.320 version of them have been shared forever. I'm not inventing 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:36.960 or redefining or reshaping human behavior, right, It's like I'm 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.680 writing things that are relevant for me in the moment 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:42.480 or little moments of awareness or discovery that I have. 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.840 Then I'm craigifying it and I'm you know, like I 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:51.640 wrote this thing the other day about this this concept 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.440 that you know, people will not be happy quite often 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:59.840 when you succeed. Some people will revel in your your failure, 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:03.240 your disappointment, your fuck up, your demise. And I'm like, 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.600 what a fucking terrible thing. And there's a word for 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:12.520 that in German. It's called schadenfreuder, right or shadenfreuder right. 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:16.840 And it's like, yeah, well, that is an interesting word. 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:18.920 And this is an interesting thing to think about because 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.160 I talk to people about Hey, listen, some people are 0:17:21.200 --> 0:17:25.560 going to be resentful or jealous or disappointed or whatever 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:27.760 when you do well. Now, I'm not saying that to 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.399 be negative. I'm saying that to be practical and realistic. 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:32.120 But then that. 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:35.040 Concept that I'm talking about, which is relevant for people. 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:39.040 But by the way, this is not new. This thing 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:42.080 that I'm talking about of people resenting you or hating you, 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:46.000 or being jealous of you because you're doing better than them. Oh, 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.600 that's only been around for let's see ever. You know 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:53.280 this is not a recent occurrence of the human experience. 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:58.639 But we're just finding new ways to share really old 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:01.640 ideas and old knowledge. 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:05.880 Yeah. I think that's intellectually honest. That's why I think 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:09.240 if you're going to create something that is titled very 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:12.800 close to somebody else's work, I think you should always 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.240 give credit for so many reasons. One, you clearly are 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.320 not the originator of that idea. You've got it from 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:23.120 somebody else, and you might teach it better or repackage 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.800 it better, and you know, you might have changed it 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:28.320 just enough that you know you can get away with it. 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:32.600 But like, cite the original source, because not only is 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:36.360 it honest, I think it connects your listener or your 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:42.199 reader to resources beyond you. Yeah, probably why. Probably why 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:48.680 I'm not like the head of marketing, but it's there. 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:51.760 I think as a presenter, I don't know how you 0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.600 feel about this. The best thing that can happen again is, 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:58.600 like we were talking about, I reference something that is 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:01.520 not directly connected to me, and somebody in the audience 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.320 goes out and reads that and goes, oh, this is amazing, 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:07.919 and by doing that, takes ownership over their own learning 0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:12.960 experience related to that particular topic. Because they do that, 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:17.040 they read one book, because they attended the session, they're 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.720 likely to read another. And that's your book you're recommending. 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:24.000 I mean, of course, but outside of you either way, 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.719 that's beautiful because that has sustainability behind it. 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:29.879 Yeah, you do that better than anyone I know. 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:33.119 Like, you're always referring to other people's work and books, 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:37.240 and you're always pointing people in a direction that isn't you? 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.760 And I love that about you, Like, that's great, And 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:44.679 I think it's funny somebody speaking of books and work 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:49.080 and whatever, credibility for whatever. Somebody said to me the 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:51.480 other day they only just discovered that I'd written a 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:55.159 book called Stop Fucking Around, And they said, oh, I 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:58.439 see you jumped on the Mark what's his name, the 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:00.640 guy who wrote Mark Manson? 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:01.680 Mike Manson. 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:04.560 Yeah, oh, I see you jumped on the Mark Manson 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:05.600 bang mag And I go. 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:08.000 I think I wrote my book six years before he 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:12.199 wrote his book, so well maybe eight years. Mine was 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:14.439 twenty ten. I don't know what his was, and it 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:16.760 doesn't matter because I didn't invent that either. 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:20.760 You know, it's like, it's so funny when I go, well. 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:24.240 To be honest, you know, his book is a great book, 0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:28.600 but it's like, it's so funny how people think that, oh, well, 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.119 you did something similar to them, so you must have 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:34.200 copied them. And I went, no, I wrote that fifteen 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:37.480 years ago, that book, so probably not. I love another 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:41.080 one that you've got here. So the quote is purpose 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:46.440 is antidote. So purpose is antidote. My question is antidote 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:46.679 to what? 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:49.160 Like? What is it an antidote too? 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:54.440 I think purpose is the antidote to lack of predictability, 0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:57.640 to burnout, to stress. Now I want to be very, 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.639 very careful because when I see burnout, you're talking about 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:04.640 something that has multiple level levels and variables. So there 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:11.200 are social, socioeconomic variables related to it. They's psychological, there's 0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:16.720 into chronological like biological. It's not just a matter of wow, 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:18.480 if you would just double down and have a greater 0:21:18.600 --> 0:21:21.840 sense of purpose, you can get through those sixteen hour 0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:25.679 consecutive days. That is not what I'm saying. What I 0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:32.199 am saying is all things being equal, Purpose psychologically and 0:21:32.840 --> 0:21:41.080 biologically inoculates you to a degree from the deleterious effects 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:46.240 of stress and lack of predictability. It's a very good thing. 0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:48.360 It's a central component of well being. 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:52.200 I'm sorry, what is your I don't mean the definition, 0:21:52.359 --> 0:21:56.720 I mean your understanding, Like, don't give me a definition 0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:00.880 that someone wrote. Give me, like your take on purpose. 0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:04.600 I did, ah maybe four days ago. I did a 0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:08.000 podcast on this very thing, and I say at the start, 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:10.160 I don't know how this works, but I'm just going 0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:12.600 to tell you how it works for me, and I'm 0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:15.200 going to share my thoughts and ideas around it. This 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:19.600 is definitely not the final word on it, but you know, 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:22.720 I have yeah, which I'll share maybe after you do. 0:22:22.800 --> 0:22:27.080 But just tell me. Like when you say what your 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:31.040 understanding of purpose for an individual, what is that equal? 0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:36.760 For me? Purpose is when you exercise something meaningful or 0:22:36.800 --> 0:22:41.000 a core value in a way that impacts people through contribution. 0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:44.200 Like right now, this is my purpose, it's your purpose. 0:22:44.520 --> 0:22:48.200 We both value and are highly engaged by a love 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:50.520 of learning. And then we come on here and we 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:54.679 share this stuff. I mean, does it impact everyone as 0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:58.160 a contribution? Like some people are probably like God, these 0:22:58.200 --> 0:23:01.760 guys are idiots, But there's probably another percentage of people like, Oh, 0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:03.920 that's a great idea. I never thought of it that way. 0:23:04.000 --> 0:23:07.320 Oh I can use this, well, that was a contribution. 0:23:08.040 --> 0:23:11.639 So when I exercise something that's personally meaningful to me 0:23:12.240 --> 0:23:15.400 and it contributes to you, I'm living my purpose. 0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:18.439