1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Bobby Capuccio, Welcome back to you project brother, how are 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,960 Speaker 1: you all right? 3 00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 2: And welcome back to the self help and to do it. 4 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 3: Welcome back to both of these. We hope you well everybody. 5 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 2: So welcoming environment. I think we're off to a good start. 6 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: Have we started. I think we're both standing at the 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: starting line. I can't say we've moved too far forward. 8 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: It's nine oh four as we record on a Thursday 9 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: morning in the thriving metropolis. 10 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 3: And what is it in San Diego? 11 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 2: Is it living metropolis of San Diego? It's sixteen five. 12 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, just about just five minutes past four. 13 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,919 Speaker 2: This is super early for us in that it is 14 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:50,639 Speaker 2: it is us. 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 3: It is early for us. 16 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: So one of the things that people don't know about 17 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: you is that you've got a You've got a good 18 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: little well some people don't. You've got a great little 19 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: that sounded condescending. You've got a great ig page called 20 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: the self Help Antidote. So if you don't follow Bobby, 21 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: he's currently at three five, three four, let's see if 22 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,319 Speaker 1: we can boost that up to four thousand followers in 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: the next day or three. Have a little bit of 24 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: a listener and a follow but anyway, I want to 25 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: work through some of your thoughts that you share. 26 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,119 Speaker 3: So I'm just going to so here's the protocol for today. 27 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 3: If you're right with that, I'm. 28 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: Just going to share something that you've said, and I 29 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,959 Speaker 1: want you then to just riff on that for one, two, 30 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: three minutes. And I like this and this will be 31 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: relevant to speakers, want to be speakers, workshop facilitators, anyone 32 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,199 Speaker 1: who gets in front of a group and you said, 33 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: the last thing your audience feels is the first thing 34 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: they remember. So kill the Q and a session at 35 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: the end of your presentations and finish with impact. So 36 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: but I like all of it, but I really like 37 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: the first part. The last thing your audience feels is 38 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: the first thing they remember. 39 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 3: Where did you learn that? You did that become evident? 40 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 3: You know? 41 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: Did you just become aware of that by doing that? 42 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: Did someone teach you that and tell us about that concept? 43 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 2: I think it's a little bit of both. Like we've 44 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 2: talked about this before, where when you are you are 45 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 2: working for someone who or they bring you out and 46 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 2: they don't do presentations themselves. They have a lot of 47 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 2: ideas about what creates a great presentation and a lot 48 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 2: of those ideas, unfortunately are false and they don't resonate 49 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: with the audience. The audience isn't going to remember necessarily 50 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: every bullet point or the data that you shared, or 51 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 2: like this specific reference or scientific study. Not saying that 52 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 2: all of that stuff is not important because it's it's empowering, 53 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 2: it's a specific takeaway, but all of that's predicated on 54 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 2: how did they feel. Like everybody's had the death by 55 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 2: power point to experience where it's like, oh my goodness, 56 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 2: all right, slide thirty seven excellent. By the time he 57 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 2: gets to thirty eight, I'm going to pick my pen 58 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,239 Speaker 2: up off of this table and stab myself in the 59 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 2: left eye. Versus where you've gone to a twelve hour 60 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 2: event and you're energized through most of it. Because of 61 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,239 Speaker 2: how you feel and how you feel one it determines 62 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 2: how likely you are to even implement anything that you're 63 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 2: sitting through. And it does affect memory and retention and 64 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 2: all of that good stuff. But at the end of 65 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: the day, people are going to remember, how did I 66 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 2: feel in that session? Was was I inspired like this? 67 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 2: This week, I was doing a debrief and one of 68 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: the things that came back in the evals where people like, oh, 69 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 2: I really love the book references because I want to 70 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 2: go out and explore some of those books. That's a win. 71 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 2: Somebody felt something and then as they felt something, they 72 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 2: heard something that inspired them that they can learn more, 73 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 2: or they can have more, or they can be more 74 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 2: as a result of the content being discussed, they're going 75 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 2: to leave there and go investigator on their own. You 76 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: might have created a lifelong learner in that session. That's 77 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 2: one of the highest outcomes. So it's not like, oh wow, 78 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 2: like these three points that I'm bringing in, there's no 79 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,280 Speaker 2: way they're going to get through these three points anywhere else. 80 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 2: I mean, it's not like we have anything where you 81 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 2: can go watch seemingly unlimited amount of high quality videos 82 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 2: being produced and you can access that for free. 83 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 3: And finally we had that Yeah, you and I should 84 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 3: shot something. 85 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,799 Speaker 2: It's almost like a TV for you, like a YouTube. 86 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 2: You know that somebody should do something about that. 87 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 3: There you go. 88 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: So maybe we should invent the internet as well. Go on, 89 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,160 Speaker 1: I interrupted, kick going Internet. 90 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 2: That sounds amazing. We need to talk about that. Offul lone. 91 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: Okay, I here, let's let's let's shut this down because 92 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: we've got a lot to get through, but maybe just 93 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: one momentute. I'm thinking, as you're talking, I coach a 94 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: few speakers, and I know you've helped speakers over the 95 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: years and continue to educate and inspire and all of that. 96 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,600 Speaker 3: But it's such a good. 97 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: Point because when we are, when speakers are or people 98 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: who are going to be in front of a group 99 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: have to present in inverted commas or share two minutes 100 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: introducing someone, or they tend to be so obsessed with 101 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: remembering stuff or their content, or you know, is this 102 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 1: a good is this accurate, is this good science? Is 103 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: this relevant to this group? And all of those things matter, 104 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: But you might have the best content in terms of 105 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: you know, this is it's all scientifically valid and relevant 106 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: and all of these points are salient and it actually 107 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: is representative of the audience. But if you're not building 108 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 1: connection and rapport, if you're not touching people emotionally, if 109 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: there's no story, there's no humor, if there's no engagement, 110 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:08,119 Speaker 1: despite the fact that the content is good, then one 111 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: you're probably not going to get another gig as a speaker, 112 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: not with them anyway, And two people are going to 113 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: walk away from that feeling uninspired despite the great content. 114 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 2: Absolutely. I mean, if you're a subject matter expert, you're 115 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 2: diving through that stuff every single day. And I'm not 116 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 2: saying you don't have a structure, having a structure, knowing 117 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 2: where you're going to go and an idea of how 118 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 2: to get there, and being adaptable that it might not 119 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 2: work out that way based on what's happening in the audience. 120 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 2: All that stuff is important, but if you're doing that 121 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 2: stuff every day, it's a matter of letting go and 122 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 2: connecting with the audience first and foremost. I want to 123 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,040 Speaker 2: answer your question about the Q and A because when 124 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 2: you take a look at emotional impact, there's two factors, 125 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 2: two variables. There's primacy and recency, right, Like, what does 126 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 2: that mean? What did you open with? What did you 127 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 2: end with? 128 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 3: Right? 129 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 2: Right? So those two things set the stage for how 130 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 2: much they remember and how relevant and engage they are 131 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 2: emotionally and mentally in every bit within the middle. And 132 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 2: imagine going to a rock concert and it's like they 133 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 2: come out, they do this amazing encore and everybody's on 134 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 2: their feet cheering, and then it's like, Okay, well we're 135 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 2: gonna do a Q and A. Now any questions, and 136 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 2: guy in the fifth row is like, whoa, how do 137 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 2: you keep your hair like so long and wavy? Could 138 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 2: you tell us about like some hair product recommendation. You've 139 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 2: just killed the energy. That's That's where I'm walking back 140 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 2: to the car thinking about, rather than that was an 141 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 2: amazing finale to that concert. It's the same thing. It's 142 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 2: not that I'm against answering questions, just where do. 143 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 3: You do it? 144 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: Do you know what would be even a better a 145 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: bitter story for that is, like I say, they say, 146 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: come out, They do an oncre they plied back in black, 147 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: They ply you shook me all not long, They ply bells, 148 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: they walk off stage and the audience goes nuts, and 149 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: they come back and then they play a brand new 150 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 1: song that no one's ever heard. 151 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 3: That's shit, and then they say thanks very much, see 152 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 3: you later. You know. 153 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: It's like people like everyone was just euphoric and now 154 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 1: they just walk with through the car park to their 155 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: car with their head in their hands, going what the 156 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: fuck was that? 157 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 2: Yeah? That's that. That's a beautiful analogy. Actually, all right, 158 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,440 Speaker 2: they want to do that would be because they would 159 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:32,319 Speaker 2: test that prior. 160 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 3: Okay, next, So this is all from Bobby's page. 161 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 1: I've got like quite a bit on this, but I'm 162 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,960 Speaker 1: just going to read the headline, Clarity beats clever how 163 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 1: to actually reach people? Now, I feel like this is 164 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 1: in the same ballpark as where we just were, But 165 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: I like that clarity beats clever. 166 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 2: I feel like I have, like anyone who knows me 167 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 2: like nos, I probably have no business talking about this. 168 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 2: That's like me talking about like brevity versus something else. 169 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 2: So a little bit hypocritical. But just here's a question. 170 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to ask your audience who is John Grinder 171 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 2: or Richard Bandler? And I'm sure a good portion of 172 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 2: your audience knows exactly who those two gentlemen are, but 173 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 2: a greater portion of your audience has absolutely no idea 174 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:33,120 Speaker 2: who they are. Now, have you ever heard the name 175 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 2: Tony Robbins? H I would be astonished if there's someone 176 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 2: out there going Tony who? I think? Yeah, does he 177 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 2: work at the corner shop? No, he's a household name. 178 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 2: If you wanted to learn about let's say NLP, for example, 179 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 2: would you go to a Richard Bandler workshop or a 180 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 2: Tony Robbins workshop? Most people would say Tony Robins. Where 181 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 2: Richard Bandler and John Grinder are the founders of neurolinguistic programming, 182 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 2: and they probably understand have a deeper understanding and bandwidth 183 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 2: about how it's applied than anybody else in the world. 184 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 2: But Tony Robbins, as intelligent as he is, he captivates 185 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 2: people as well. So he not only forms, he entertains. 186 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,559 Speaker 2: He not only does that, but he creates an environment 187 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 2: where you can see greater possibilities for yourself in the future. 188 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 2: There's a version of you in the seat in that seminar, 189 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 2: and then you're looking out to a version of you 190 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,959 Speaker 2: three months, six months, a year down the line that 191 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 2: just energizes you, aligns with your values, and draws you out. 192 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 2: That's why it's so engaging. So that's the point. You 193 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 2: don't have to worry about phrasing. Things are articulately or 194 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 2: with the ultimate amount of eloquence that comes with practice 195 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 2: and sometimes the things that you say, Like sometimes you 196 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 2: hear a speaker say something and the way that phrase it, 197 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 2: it's like, oh my god, that just landed. It's what 198 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 2: they're saying. It's the sentence structure, it's how they string 199 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: ideas together. It's the tonality, it's the emotion. It's all 200 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 2: of that, but all of that occurs by a speaker 201 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 2: who is willing to say something imperfectly yet communicate it 202 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:27,000 Speaker 2: with clarity, sincerity, and energy. And by energy, I don't 203 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,680 Speaker 2: mean the person's bouncing off the wall. I just mean 204 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 2: that there is something of them that they are present 205 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 2: in every utterance and every bridge between who they are 206 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 2: and where that audience is and where they're going. So 207 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,080 Speaker 2: that if that explains it. 208 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's funny how many people are renowned for something, 209 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: known for something, famous for something that they didn't create. 210 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: You know, you think about like at the moment, there's 211 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: a little there's a little bit of a few row. 212 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how big it is. But so Mel 213 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: Robin's the well known whatever she is. I think she 214 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: was originally a lawyer. Now she kind of falls in 215 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 1: the I guess you would call human performance, self help, 216 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 1: personal development space. 217 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,000 Speaker 3: Who wrote a. 218 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: Book called let Them Theory. Yeah, it's called let Them Theory. 219 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 1: I haven't read it, but my understanding is it's like 220 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: people are going to do this to you, da da 221 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: da let them. People are going to say that about you, 222 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,320 Speaker 1: let them but whatever, right, which is not really a 223 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 1: brand new concept. But there was another lady called Cassie 224 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: Phillips who wrote a poem. Have you heard this, Bobby, Yes. 225 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,000 Speaker 1: So she wrote a poem called let Them. So there's 226 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: this underground kind of disase of people who were going 227 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: because Cassie Phillips wrote this poem. I don't know the 228 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: whole backstory, but she wrote a poem called let Them. 229 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: And then mel Robins wrote a book called Let Them 230 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: Theory and never gave any credit to this person who 231 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: wrote this poem. And it's quite long and it's quite 232 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: a very very similar vibe. Now, maybe she knew about it, 233 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: I would say she did, or maybe. 234 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I don't know. 235 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 1: But anyway, it's quite funny because so she's written this book. 236 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: By the way, I've not read it, but people tell 237 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: me it's a great book. So it probably is a 238 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 1: great book. But it's so funny that there are so 239 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: many people who like when you think, also, if I'm 240 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: being honest and we zoom out, you look at human 241 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: behavior and behavioral psychology and self help and personal development 242 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 1: and all the shit you and I talk about. You know, 243 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: there are new settings and new environments and new challenges. 244 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 1: But human behavior has essentially been the same forever, like 245 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: the human brain and the human mind. It's not drastically 246 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,959 Speaker 1: different to a thousand years ago or two thousand years 247 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 1: ago when the Stoics were talking about self awareness and 248 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,319 Speaker 1: know thyself and all this stuff. It's not like, oh, 249 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 1: you know, all the stuff that we talk about is 250 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: brand new. So it's really been around forever, all of 251 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: this stuff. 252 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 2: I think that plays into what we were talking about 253 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 2: where it's the original author, but then who communicates it 254 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 2: in a way that not only intellectually but emotionally resonates. 255 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 2: Like if you think about finite games or infinite games, 256 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 2: who pops into your head, Oh, that's Simon Sinek. But 257 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 2: actually that book was first written by James cars. If 258 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 2: you think about Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and It's 259 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 2: all small Stuff, you think about Richard Carson. But the 260 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 2: person who originally wrote the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Ps, 261 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 2: it's all small stuff not a very different title is 262 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: a gentleman who I know very well, who lives not 263 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,640 Speaker 2: too far from me, right, So he wrote that book 264 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 2: or original So doctor Michael Mantel interesting interesting individually he does. 265 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 2: He does a lot of speaking, you probably know exactly 266 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 2: who he is, so you and I'm by far not 267 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,760 Speaker 2: a household name, but I was pretty much a big 268 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 2: name in the health and fitness industry for a while, 269 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 2: and there was stuff that you know, I created, and 270 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 2: I wore the T shirt, the emblem, and I would 271 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 2: go into health clubs, people oh my god, and they 272 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 2: would name somebody else that we hired after that was 273 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 2: more associated with my work than I was. Why because 274 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 2: clearly the way this individual learned it from me and 275 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,480 Speaker 2: then from us and then taught it resonated with the 276 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 2: audience to a greater degree than I did as the author. 277 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 2: It's it's emotional connection. 278 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: I think about all the stuff that I put out 279 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 1: into the world, not including these conversations, but all the 280 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: the stuff I should on Instagram, which for whatever reason, 281 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: and I'm very grateful, but it's doing great. It's like 282 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: it's at the minute, it's never been busy of six 283 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 1: and a half million views per thirty. 284 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 3: Days at the moment and all of that. 285 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: But if I'm being truthful, while everything I write, you 286 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: know comes out of my head, but really these ideas 287 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: and concepts and this advice and these messages are a 288 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 1: version of them have been shared forever. I'm not inventing 289 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 1: or redefining or reshaping human behavior, right, It's like I'm 290 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 1: writing things that are relevant for me in the moment 291 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 1: or little moments of awareness or discovery that I have. 292 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 1: Then I'm craigifying it and I'm you know, like I 293 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: wrote this thing the other day about this this concept 294 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 1: that you know, people will not be happy quite often 295 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:59,840 Speaker 1: when you succeed. Some people will revel in your your failure, 296 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: your disappointment, your fuck up, your demise. And I'm like, 297 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: what a fucking terrible thing. And there's a word for 298 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: that in German. It's called schadenfreuder, right or shadenfreuder right. 299 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: And it's like, yeah, well, that is an interesting word. 300 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: And this is an interesting thing to think about because 301 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,160 Speaker 1: I talk to people about Hey, listen, some people are 302 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: going to be resentful or jealous or disappointed or whatever 303 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 1: when you do well. Now, I'm not saying that to 304 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: be negative. I'm saying that to be practical and realistic. 305 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 2: But then that. 306 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: Concept that I'm talking about, which is relevant for people. 307 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: But by the way, this is not new. This thing 308 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 1: that I'm talking about of people resenting you or hating you, 309 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: or being jealous of you because you're doing better than them. Oh, 310 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 1: that's only been around for let's see ever. You know 311 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: this is not a recent occurrence of the human experience. 312 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 1: But we're just finding new ways to share really old 313 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,640 Speaker 1: ideas and old knowledge. 314 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that's intellectually honest. That's why I think 315 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 2: if you're going to create something that is titled very 316 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 2: close to somebody else's work, I think you should always 317 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 2: give credit for so many reasons. One, you clearly are 318 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 2: not the originator of that idea. You've got it from 319 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 2: somebody else, and you might teach it better or repackage 320 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 2: it better, and you know, you might have changed it 321 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 2: just enough that you know you can get away with it. 322 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 2: But like, cite the original source, because not only is 323 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,360 Speaker 2: it honest, I think it connects your listener or your 324 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:42,199 Speaker 2: reader to resources beyond you. Yeah, probably why. Probably why 325 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 2: I'm not like the head of marketing, but it's there. 326 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 2: I think as a presenter, I don't know how you 327 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 2: feel about this. The best thing that can happen again is, 328 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 2: like we were talking about, I reference something that is 329 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 2: not directly connected to me, and somebody in the audience 330 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 2: goes out and reads that and goes, oh, this is amazing, 331 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,919 Speaker 2: and by doing that, takes ownership over their own learning 332 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 2: experience related to that particular topic. Because they do that, 333 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 2: they read one book, because they attended the session, they're 334 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,720 Speaker 2: likely to read another. And that's your book you're recommending. 335 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 2: I mean, of course, but outside of you either way, 336 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,719 Speaker 2: that's beautiful because that has sustainability behind it. 337 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, you do that better than anyone I know. 338 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,119 Speaker 1: Like, you're always referring to other people's work and books, 339 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: and you're always pointing people in a direction that isn't you? 340 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: And I love that about you, Like, that's great, And 341 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:44,679 Speaker 1: I think it's funny somebody speaking of books and work 342 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 1: and whatever, credibility for whatever. Somebody said to me the 343 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 1: other day they only just discovered that I'd written a 344 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 1: book called Stop Fucking Around, And they said, oh, I 345 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,439 Speaker 1: see you jumped on the Mark what's his name, the 346 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,640 Speaker 1: guy who wrote Mark Manson? 347 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 2: Mike Manson. 348 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, I see you jumped on the Mark Manson 349 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 3: bang mag And I go. 350 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: I think I wrote my book six years before he 351 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,199 Speaker 1: wrote his book, so well maybe eight years. Mine was 352 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,439 Speaker 1: twenty ten. I don't know what his was, and it 353 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: doesn't matter because I didn't invent that either. 354 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 3: You know, it's like, it's so funny when I go, well. 355 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 1: To be honest, you know, his book is a great book, 356 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:28,600 Speaker 1: but it's like, it's so funny how people think that, oh, well, 357 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 1: you did something similar to them, so you must have 358 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 1: copied them. And I went, no, I wrote that fifteen 359 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: years ago, that book, so probably not. I love another 360 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:41,080 Speaker 1: one that you've got here. So the quote is purpose 361 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:46,440 Speaker 1: is antidote. So purpose is antidote. My question is antidote 362 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:46,679 Speaker 1: to what? 363 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,160 Speaker 3: Like? What is it an antidote too? 364 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,440 Speaker 2: I think purpose is the antidote to lack of predictability, 365 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,640 Speaker 2: to burnout, to stress. Now I want to be very, 366 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 2: very careful because when I see burnout, you're talking about 367 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,640 Speaker 2: something that has multiple level levels and variables. So there 368 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 2: are social, socioeconomic variables related to it. They's psychological, there's 369 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 2: into chronological like biological. It's not just a matter of wow, 370 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 2: if you would just double down and have a greater 371 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 2: sense of purpose, you can get through those sixteen hour 372 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,679 Speaker 2: consecutive days. That is not what I'm saying. What I 373 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:32,199 Speaker 2: am saying is all things being equal, Purpose psychologically and 374 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 2: biologically inoculates you to a degree from the deleterious effects 375 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 2: of stress and lack of predictability. It's a very good thing. 376 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,360 Speaker 2: It's a central component of well being. 377 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,200 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what is your I don't mean the definition, 378 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 1: I mean your understanding, Like, don't give me a definition 379 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,880 Speaker 1: that someone wrote. Give me, like your take on purpose. 380 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: I did, ah maybe four days ago. I did a 381 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 1: podcast on this very thing, and I say at the start, 382 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,160 Speaker 1: I don't know how this works, but I'm just going 383 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 1: to tell you how it works for me, and I'm 384 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 1: going to share my thoughts and ideas around it. This 385 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 1: is definitely not the final word on it, but you know, 386 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: I have yeah, which I'll share maybe after you do. 387 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:27,080 Speaker 1: But just tell me. Like when you say what your 388 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: understanding of purpose for an individual, what is that equal? 389 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 2: For me? Purpose is when you exercise something meaningful or 390 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 2: a core value in a way that impacts people through contribution. 391 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 2: Like right now, this is my purpose, it's your purpose. 392 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 2: We both value and are highly engaged by a love 393 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 2: of learning. And then we come on here and we 394 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 2: share this stuff. I mean, does it impact everyone as 395 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 2: a contribution? Like some people are probably like God, these 396 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 2: guys are idiots, But there's probably another percentage of people like, Oh, 397 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 2: that's a great idea. I never thought of it that way. 398 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,320 Speaker 2: Oh I can use this, well, that was a contribution. 399 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,639 Speaker 2: So when I exercise something that's personally meaningful to me 400 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,400 Speaker 2: and it contributes to you, I'm living my purpose. 401 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. 402 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:24,320 Speaker 1: I think also, I think you know purpose, Obviously it's 403 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,359 Speaker 1: different for different people, or it can be. I think 404 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:32,800 Speaker 1: your purpose over time will maybe change. Like my focus 405 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 1: or my purpose or my reason when I was twenty 406 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: five is not the same at sixty. 407 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 3: That's not good or bad. 408 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 1: That's probably part of the evolution of me, not better, 409 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 1: not worse, just doing different stuff, focusing on different stuff. 410 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 3: And I what about though, and then we'll move on 411 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 3: what about? 412 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,160 Speaker 1: I feel like there's an idea around purpose that you've 413 00:23:54,160 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 1: got to somehow discover it under some ethereal mystical spiritual rock, 414 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,119 Speaker 1: and then you get there and this kind of this 415 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,679 Speaker 1: bright light comes out from under it and there it 416 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: is your purpose and you go, oh fuck, it's been 417 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: over here. 418 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,880 Speaker 3: I'm so glad I looked under this rock. 419 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: Now I have my purpose, Like it's some kind of 420 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: transformative aha moment. What are your thoughts on Obviously, that's 421 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 1: kind of not true for most people. But what are 422 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: your thoughts on identifying it? 423 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 3: I don't know. 424 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 1: Do we choose it, do we create it? Do we 425 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: stumble into it? Do we have a moment in time 426 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: where it gets revealed to us? 427 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 2: The answer to the first question for me is that's 428 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:45,720 Speaker 2: an insidious misunderstanding, and I think that stops people from 429 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 2: going out and exploring and doing stuff because it's so 430 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 2: big and you're like, oh, I don't have it on 431 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 2: my purpose isn't good enough? Or you know, it's so 432 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 2: massive the way you're expected to have this ground sense 433 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:04,280 Speaker 2: of purpose. However that shows up, it's like, I don't 434 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,399 Speaker 2: even think I have one of those, Like when you 435 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 2: talk to people that like it's almost apologetic, like I 436 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,679 Speaker 2: don't know what my purpose is? Yes, you do, Like, 437 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 2: what are the things that are meaningful? Like if time 438 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 2: and money we're no longer an issue for you and 439 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 2: you can spend your days doing anything you want to do, 440 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 2: how would you spend your days? What what makes you 441 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 2: feel most alive and fulfilled? Okay? How can you share 442 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 2: that with somebody? Yea, in a meaningful way? There you go, 443 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 2: that's your purpose and you might go out and go, 444 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 2: oh you and I want this is not my purpose. 445 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 2: Six months from now, I feel like something else has 446 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 2: showed up for me. You know, if you're constantly in 447 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 2: a state of play, you're willing to be there and 448 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 2: you don't feel this this weight and this burden of 449 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 2: like you said, this this light coming from the sky, 450 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 2: you know, Craig, your purpose ordained by you know, is this? 451 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:00,639 Speaker 2: This is God? 452 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,120 Speaker 3: Here is your purpose? Take notes. 453 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,040 Speaker 2: It's like, why does God always sound like that and 454 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:12,199 Speaker 2: not like I don't know, like this big imposing like 455 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,400 Speaker 2: why not Morgan Freeman Like it's it's very relaxing, soothing 456 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,160 Speaker 2: type of voice. 457 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm just stereotyping what I've been programmed with. 458 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 1: But I think also, you know, maybe we grew up 459 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: some of us anyway, thinking that our purpose, not all 460 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,199 Speaker 1: of us, but some of us is going to be 461 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 1: this like significant, profound thing. Yeah, you know, maybe it's 462 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,240 Speaker 1: just living your values, being a good person, doing no 463 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:49,240 Speaker 1: harm and helping others when that's an option the end, 464 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,120 Speaker 1: like maybe donate. 465 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 3: The cure cancer or build the space shuttle. 466 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,240 Speaker 2: Well, it's it's all significant because what you're talking about 467 00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,679 Speaker 2: is more people in society getting into touch with what 468 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 2: it is that fulfills them and gives them a sense 469 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,239 Speaker 2: of well being and sharing it with other people. And 470 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: I like a lot of times when you have individuals 471 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 2: like you talked about like should in fraut if I'm 472 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 2: probably even pronouncing that correctly my Germans a bit rough, 473 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 2: you know, Like, imagine what it's like to be that person, 474 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,440 Speaker 2: not the person who's suffering through misfortune, but the person 475 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 2: who's delighting in it. Like if they were completely wrapped 476 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 2: up in sharing things that are mutually rewarding and uplifting, 477 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,600 Speaker 2: would that really be the state they're in. I don't know. 478 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 2: Maybe the person that's going through misfortune deserves it because 479 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 2: they're a horrible human and they've done something really bad 480 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:49,200 Speaker 2: to the person who's like reveling in it, But more 481 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,919 Speaker 2: likely than not, it has nothing to do with that. 482 00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 2: It's like this deep seated sense of misery. I think 483 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 2: people understanding and acting on a sense of purpose is 484 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 2: highly not just for the individual and the community, but 485 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 2: for society as a whole. If you're passionate about food 486 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 2: and you open up a tiny little restaurant, guess what, Yeah, 487 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 2: the world needs cancer research, and the world also needs 488 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 2: like these little tiny bistros on the corner that people 489 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,640 Speaker 2: go to with their family and escapism and it makes 490 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 2: their life better. 491 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,439 Speaker 1: All right, Next one, I'm with you, Next one, moving on. 492 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: I don't know if this is a question or a statement, 493 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,760 Speaker 1: but it's got a question mark at the end of it, 494 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 1: and the post is good enough. The post is fake 495 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: it until you feel it. Question mark? Is that a recommendation? 496 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 1: Is that an exploratory? 497 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 2: Is? 498 00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 3: What is that? 499 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:44,400 Speaker 2: Did I write that? 500 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 3: You wrote that? You wrote that? You wrote that? 501 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:53,239 Speaker 1: On February nineteen, Robert Joseph Capuccio. I'll tell you what 502 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 1: you and then you started by. When I first got 503 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: into sales, I was told that a fake'sker than a 504 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: sincere frown. Maybe this will start you off or worse. 505 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: We've all heard be positive, just smile because after all, 506 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: any painful emotion is negative. So I think you're maybe questioning, 507 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: questioning that idea fake it till you feel it. 508 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:17,720 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't think it was a recommendation, right. 509 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was like, wow, God, did I write that? Yeah? 510 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 2: I feel like it's if I if I remember correctly, 511 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 2: or maybe that Okay. 512 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: Let me let me give you a tiny bit more 513 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,280 Speaker 1: right for forcing a greenline change of mood or anyone 514 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 1: else's for that matter. A real smile activates both Wow, 515 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: zygo comedicus? Is that that zygomedicus? 516 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 2: Zygomedicus major parslateraalis, Yeah, just that muscle firing sequence. So 517 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 2: I mean, I think what I was getting at is, 518 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 2: you know, just you don't have to feel a certain 519 00:29:57,080 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 2: way to engage in behaviors. Yes, if I feel a 520 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 2: certain way, that does support the engagement in certain patterns 521 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 2: of thought and behaviors, but it's mutually reinforcing. Engaging in 522 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: a pattern of behavior will elicit those feelings eventually, So 523 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 2: just get into action, Like, oh, I would love to 524 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 2: do more public speaking, but I'm scared. Like, if you've 525 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 2: not done public speaking and you're not scared, you're delusional. 526 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 2: Do not get on stage like speak afraid, be afraid, 527 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 2: step out on stage and do it, do a shit 528 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 2: job as a matter of fact, if you need to, 529 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 2: and then do it again and again and keep like 530 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 2: reviewing what went well. Well. I showed up to the 531 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,880 Speaker 2: right place, I was on the right stage. Excellent number Two. 532 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 2: I stepped out on the stage. Three I communicated like, 533 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,960 Speaker 2: there's good, You're gonna build a body of evidence, because 534 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 2: think about it. If you're feeling anyway about something that 535 00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 2: is going to happen in the future, whether that's a 536 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 2: year from now, an hour from now, or two minutes 537 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,719 Speaker 2: from now, it's because you're making a prediction. What feeds 538 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 2: those predictions is interpretations of past experiences. Accurate interpretations, probably not, 539 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 2: but interpretations. So when you engage in the behaviors that's 540 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 2: required to do something right, like going to the gym 541 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 2: is required to get fit, you start to build a 542 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 2: body of evidence to support competence that you can in 543 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:28,600 Speaker 2: fact do it. And competence and confidence are intimately interwoven 544 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:33,320 Speaker 2: with one another. I think confidence without the desire to 545 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 2: build competence is overrated, and this research show it's it's 546 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 2: highly destructive as well. So I think that's what I 547 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,240 Speaker 2: was getting at. It's like, now, don't put on a 548 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 2: fake smile, engage in things and the behaviors that are 549 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 2: smile worthy and you'll feel that emotion. 550 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 3: Yeah. 551 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: I think I spent a lot of my time not 552 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: fighting it till I might it. But but you know, 553 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 1: doing that thing, lacking confidence, lacking skill, lacking you know, 554 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 1: knowledge and awareness, but doing what you suggest which is 555 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:11,120 Speaker 1: going Essentially, I can't get good at this without doing it, 556 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: so so I'm just going to lean in and go, 557 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: you know, start scared, start in it, start shit. 558 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 2: You know what helps? I always use performing arts as 559 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 2: an example because I think there's a lot of relevance 560 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 2: and correlations like method acting, Like what is it that 561 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 2: you want? Because if you think about it, you've always been, 562 00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 2: to a degree a method actor. Like before you got 563 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 2: your university degree, you were not the type of person 564 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:41,600 Speaker 2: that was capable of. 565 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 3: Earning that degree. 566 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 2: You behaved into that. You did certain things that developed 567 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 2: you into the type of person that was awarded like 568 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 2: that credential. So what is it that you really want 569 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 2: to do? You want to be a better leader? Okay, great, 570 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 2: you just got cast in a role in a major 571 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 2: motion picture of one of the greatest leaders in the world. 572 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 2: What is that like day to day? Like as you're preparing, 573 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 2: what does that leader do? Like, what did the behaviors? 574 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 2: What are the rituals you will start to move into 575 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 2: that position. 576 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that's so interesting you say that because it's 577 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 1: also very insightful. I mean, I am If you knew 578 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 1: me when I was at school, if you knew me 579 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,720 Speaker 1: when I was in my twenties and you know, building 580 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: gyms and doing all the stuff I was doing and 581 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,240 Speaker 1: being a you know whatever, I was right, you would 582 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,080 Speaker 1: not have gone, this is the guy that's going to 583 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 1: go and have this academic career and end up doing 584 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:46,280 Speaker 1: it whatever. You know, you wouldn't have And it's both. 585 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: You know, when I did my my undergrad degree, when 586 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 1: I did my excise science degree, I felt like a fraud. 587 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 1: For the best part of a year. I felt like 588 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: I shouldn't be there. I felt like everyone else was 589 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 1: an academic I wasn't. The same thing happened when I 590 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: started my doctorate. Yeah, and I know it's so interesting, 591 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 1: but eventually, you know, you go, well, I feel awkward 592 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,880 Speaker 1: or I feel whatever, even undeserving. 593 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,400 Speaker 3: You know, I remember when I started it. 594 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 1: I don't even know if I should say this, but 595 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,080 Speaker 1: when I was at Monash, I had the opportunity, well 596 00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,439 Speaker 1: I'm still at Monash to Uni. 597 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 2: I had the. 598 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,680 Speaker 3: Opportunity to apply for a scholarship. 599 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:29,000 Speaker 1: And I'm like, I go, no, no, I don't give 600 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,960 Speaker 1: the scholarship to a twenty three year old with no 601 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 1: do you know. I'm like, I definitely do not deserve to. 602 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,239 Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have got it or not, 603 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: but I you know, so I just chose not to 604 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:45,560 Speaker 1: because I've felt like completely and in hindsight, the right decision, 605 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,200 Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure, But all right, let's move on. 606 00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:49,839 Speaker 1: We've got two more to go. I reckon. So I 607 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,640 Speaker 1: like this. I want you to unpack this. You wrote 608 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,160 Speaker 1: this February five, and it's I think it's a quote 609 00:34:56,200 --> 00:35:01,480 Speaker 1: from Travis Bradbury and Jane Graves from Emotional Intelligence two 610 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 1: point zero. 611 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:03,279 Speaker 3: And you said, the weaker the. 612 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:06,640 Speaker 1: Connection you have with someone, the harder it is to 613 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 1: get your point across. If you want people to listen, 614 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:16,799 Speaker 1: you have to practice relationship management. That's yeah, I haven't 615 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: thought about it that way. I think about building connection 616 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:24,919 Speaker 1: and rapport with people a lot, but I wouldn't have well, 617 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,399 Speaker 1: I think it's true. I wouldn't have worded that that way. 618 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:29,480 Speaker 1: I would have gone about it from another direction. But 619 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:31,840 Speaker 1: unpack that for us. 620 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,400 Speaker 2: So much of it is right there within the quote. 621 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,359 Speaker 2: I think it was Michael Lambert who did this meta 622 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:46,240 Speaker 2: analysis trying to find what drives outcomes in therapy and coaching. 623 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,040 Speaker 2: This doesn't just applyed therapy and coach. I'm just referencing 624 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 2: this and you found that thirty to fifty percent of 625 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:57,640 Speaker 2: the variance of all outcomes are depending upon not the 626 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 2: tape of therapy or the model of coaching, but the 627 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:06,160 Speaker 2: relationship between client coach patient therapist. You know, if you 628 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:08,839 Speaker 2: take a look at who are the most effective managers 629 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 2: and leaders, it's people who like their team, understands and 630 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,880 Speaker 2: know uncertain terms. The majority of them anyway, this person 631 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 2: cares about me. So relationship is It's about listening, It's 632 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 2: about wanting to serve. It's about noticing attributes in another person. 633 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:35,520 Speaker 2: I think it's about it's about having people feel seen 634 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,120 Speaker 2: so that they can be truly heard. You know, we 635 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,840 Speaker 2: use the word rapport constantly and talking about referencing other people. 636 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,000 Speaker 2: One of the best definitions I have ever heard of, 637 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,359 Speaker 2: one of the most impactful definitions from me personally, is 638 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:53,520 Speaker 2: from Joseph O'Connor and Ian McDermott with they said that 639 00:36:53,680 --> 00:37:01,320 Speaker 2: rapport is a relationship of positive responsiveness with myself, me 640 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,280 Speaker 2: and another person or group of people. And what's interesting, 641 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 2: it's not just oh, I really like this person. It's 642 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:14,880 Speaker 2: not about likability. It's about we are in response to 643 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:18,880 Speaker 2: one another. It's that person that goes here's a great example. 644 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: I was on the phone with a team leader at 645 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 2: a school site, and this is earlier in the day, 646 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 2: and I'm working with a group that there was a 647 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:33,120 Speaker 2: lot of contention within the faculty, and over the past 648 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,680 Speaker 2: year are our meetings that we do every single month 649 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,640 Speaker 2: has really worked out because at first it was hard. 650 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,080 Speaker 2: People were saying very tough things to say to one 651 00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 2: another and it wasn't just hard to say. It was 652 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,120 Speaker 2: hard for other people to hear, and it was harsh, 653 00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 2: but there was enough safety that someone stepped out, and 654 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 2: over time those conversations have become more fluid and people 655 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 2: give feedback and it's like there's a dynamic and they're 656 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,919 Speaker 2: coming up with ideas and strategies on how to get 657 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,400 Speaker 2: better within the team so they can impact people in 658 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 2: the school and the students. That's responsiveness, like I couldn't 659 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:17,320 Speaker 2: come up with this without you, and we couldn't arrive 660 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 2: where we're at right now without everybody else in the 661 00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:25,480 Speaker 2: room that's weighing in on this. That's rapport. That's relationship 662 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 2: of positive responsiveness, where the whole is greater than the 663 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,600 Speaker 2: sum of its parts. 664 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,480 Speaker 3: That thing I love it. 665 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,640 Speaker 1: I love it all right? One last one, This is 666 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:43,360 Speaker 1: only a bit a bit you wrote here. Set yourself 667 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: up to win intention and small environmental shifts can create 668 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 1: big changes in your life. So I want to skip 669 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:56,279 Speaker 1: out the intention part. When you say environmental shifts, are 670 00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:01,120 Speaker 1: you talking about where you work, the that you work in, 671 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:05,480 Speaker 1: are you talking about the people that you work around? Like, 672 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 1: I know, for me, this is the way I understood it, 673 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 1: which probably isn't the way you meant it. But for me, 674 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,840 Speaker 1: the environment in which I work has a big impact 675 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,200 Speaker 1: on how much I enjoy work, how creative I am, 676 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:22,000 Speaker 1: how creative my output, my productivity, my efficiency, my ability 677 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:28,240 Speaker 1: to focus my energy, Like I really optimize my energy 678 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,920 Speaker 1: because I work in a space by myself, which is 679 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,440 Speaker 1: a very comfortable, nice space with a beautiful view. And 680 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,279 Speaker 1: if I want to step out of the comfort and 681 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 1: the nice into the mayhem, I can. 682 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:45,399 Speaker 3: But yeah, so for me, environment really impacts the quality of. 683 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 1: Well everything in my life. But you know, with work 684 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:52,400 Speaker 1: and with study and research makes a big impact. What 685 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: are your thoughts on all of that? Is that where 686 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 1: you were going or was it somewhere else? 687 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,279 Speaker 2: No? Yeah, I agree with that first time in it's 688 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,120 Speaker 2: it's hard not to agree with that. I think when 689 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,000 Speaker 2: it comes to work satisfaction, things we talk about like burnout, 690 00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:11,600 Speaker 2: the people you work around are extraordinarily influential. What I'm 691 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:15,120 Speaker 2: talking about is people always try to start off, or 692 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,600 Speaker 2: you're told to start off with these huge changes. 693 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,520 Speaker 3: You either do it or you don't do it right. 694 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 2: I think that Yoda came up with that first, and 695 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 2: just reference Yoda. But what we forget is the small shifts. 696 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,880 Speaker 2: So if you come home and you know that you 697 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,600 Speaker 2: need to do some work or you want to you 698 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:36,279 Speaker 2: want to invest time in studying and learning something that 699 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,640 Speaker 2: really helps your career. But every time you get home, 700 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,920 Speaker 2: you find yourself sitting in front of the couch because 701 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,000 Speaker 2: it's it's it's you know, you have the triggers, you 702 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,000 Speaker 2: have the sofa, you've got the TV. Your conditioned to 703 00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,880 Speaker 2: just sit down there without even thinking about it. Just 704 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:55,000 Speaker 2: small environmental shifts can make a massive difference. Maybe just 705 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:58,360 Speaker 2: like stop off at a park like before you get home, 706 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:03,480 Speaker 2: or maybe like a coffee shop, or maybe if you're 707 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:07,320 Speaker 2: constantly in a certain environment and you're eating certain foods 708 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,239 Speaker 2: that you said, well, i'd rather a cutback on that 709 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,400 Speaker 2: rather than white knuckling it and disciplining and will powering 710 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,680 Speaker 2: your way to success. Not saying anything is innately wrong 711 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,800 Speaker 2: with that. Maybe try a different place where those triggers 712 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,960 Speaker 2: are not present. So when we talk about behavior change, 713 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:30,960 Speaker 2: you can't separate that from habit formation, and habit formation 714 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:33,840 Speaker 2: for better or for war starts with a queue or 715 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 2: a trigger, and those are environmental in nature. So if 716 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:42,800 Speaker 2: you change your environment in a very small, not scary, 717 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:47,920 Speaker 2: but challenging and significant way, you can start to support 718 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:53,840 Speaker 2: the behaviors that can compound over time, supporting greater shifts 719 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 2: and greater types of forward momentum. If you will. 720 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,439 Speaker 3: Love it, love it. That's what I was talking about anyway. Yeah, 721 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 3: well all of that makes sense anyway. 722 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,920 Speaker 1: So your listeners know where to find you and follow you, 723 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,959 Speaker 1: but mine might not, So why don't you tell them? 724 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:17,360 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, there's Robert Capuccio dot com. There's the selfop 725 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 2: antidote dot com. There's LinkedIn. Yes, I do have an 726 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 2: Instagram page. It's mediocre at best, but yeah, check it out. 727 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,920 Speaker 1: It's definitely not mediocre. There's a lot of good stuff 728 00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:31,920 Speaker 1: on there. All right, mate, You're terrific. Enjoy your Wednesday 729 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,839 Speaker 1: night over there. I'll enjoy my Thursday morning over here, 730 00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:38,360 Speaker 1: and we will reconnect in about one hundred and sixty 731 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:39,400 Speaker 1: eight hours from now. 732 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,920 Speaker 2: Good day, Craig, Good day Listeners,