WEBVTT - Family Constellation Therapy 0:00:05.921 --> 0:00:13.081 Apogee Production. I'm Mickey Fisher, and welcome to the Village 0:00:13.161 --> 0:00:16.761 Crazy Lady. People are talking to me and they are 0:00:16.801 --> 0:00:20.721 not physically in this room, so just strap in for that. 0:00:20.961 --> 0:00:23.721 Can't call me crazy, so I said it first. Whoever's 0:00:23.761 --> 0:00:26.121 trying to come through, whatever messages need to come through, like, 0:00:26.241 --> 0:00:29.961 just bring it on. Let's do it, Crazy Crazy Crazy, 0:00:30.241 --> 0:00:36.361 The Village Crazy Lady Podcast. Hello, gorgeous legends, and welcome 0:00:36.400 --> 0:00:40.520 to another episode of the Village Crazy Lady. This week, 0:00:40.601 --> 0:00:43.560 I have another Crazy Lady in the building with me. 0:00:43.681 --> 0:00:47.760 Beautiful Donna Wallace reached out and she said, Hey, I've 0:00:47.801 --> 0:00:51.041 got a story and I've got something that I'd love 0:00:51.081 --> 0:00:53.321 to chat on the podcast about. I'm so passionate about 0:00:53.321 --> 0:00:56.041 what I do. I've got over twenty five experience twenty 0:00:56.081 --> 0:00:59.401 five years experience, sorry, working with people, and you do 0:00:59.521 --> 0:01:02.321 so many amazing things. So you make jewelry that is 0:01:02.361 --> 0:01:06.641 like specifically sort of like full people's souls, I guess, 0:01:06.721 --> 0:01:09.681 and I'm excited to hear so much more about that. 0:01:09.961 --> 0:01:14.001 You work with like family constellations and like really deep healing. 0:01:14.401 --> 0:01:16.521 I think you said to me that the thing for 0:01:16.601 --> 0:01:18.601 you is it's like you want to like almost like 0:01:18.681 --> 0:01:20.881 rip the band aid off and really get the nitty 0:01:20.881 --> 0:01:23.481 gritty of like what's going on? Does that feel right? 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:25.800 Did I now that exactly right? 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:29.800 Okay, good, that's exactly right? Thank you. Yes. 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:32.560 Well, I'm excited to get into it. So tell me 0:01:32.601 --> 0:01:34.881 your story. Tell us how you got into what you're 0:01:34.881 --> 0:01:36.920 doing and how you got to where you are now. 0:01:37.161 --> 0:01:41.761 Oh my gosh, how many hours do we have? Mickey? Okay, 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:46.001 So short version is grew up in a family that 0:01:46.041 --> 0:01:50.561 wasn't spiritual but you know, pretty much atheist family, and 0:01:51.121 --> 0:01:55.401 discovered spirituality when I was about fifteen sixteen through someone 0:01:55.481 --> 0:01:58.681 doing reiki for me, and that felt like finally I 0:01:58.801 --> 0:02:02.921 was at home. Like this sense of love and energy 0:02:03.121 --> 0:02:06.401 just took me into something that was so real and 0:02:06.841 --> 0:02:09.881 so natural and normal and yet the first time I've 0:02:09.881 --> 0:02:13.121 ever had ever experienced it. That set me on a 0:02:13.161 --> 0:02:17.441 really interesting trajectory of learning and learning and learning and 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:20.761 learning and learning more and discovering more about myself. And 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:24.441 I guess really my personal development journey started than when 0:02:24.441 --> 0:02:27.321 I was a teenager, which is why I've been doing 0:02:27.321 --> 0:02:30.601 and the healing wrote for so many years. And you know, 0:02:30.641 --> 0:02:32.961 I tried to quit it so many times along the 0:02:32.960 --> 0:02:37.481 way Mickey, Oh really stop. Yes, so many times I 0:02:37.561 --> 0:02:40.120 was like, this is stuff I don't want to I 0:02:40.161 --> 0:02:42.041 can swear as much as I want on your own Yeah. 0:02:42.081 --> 0:02:44.761 Absolutely, Yeah, we've got a good little E marked. 0:02:45.001 --> 0:02:48.601 Yeah great, we love the E like this, fuck don't 0:02:48.641 --> 0:02:51.120 want to do this anymore? And like, I've had hit 0:02:51.281 --> 0:02:53.641 points along my life where I just wanted to give 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:54.240 it all up. 0:02:54.401 --> 0:02:57.481 And what were the things that made you want to 0:02:57.481 --> 0:03:00.321 give up? Was it just like because I mean I've 0:03:00.361 --> 0:03:02.321 been there as well, you saying like I've wanted to 0:03:02.321 --> 0:03:05.441 give up, And I mean, I'm sure so many people 0:03:05.481 --> 0:03:08.561 listening can probably have felt the same with They're just 0:03:08.601 --> 0:03:10.761 like why am I fucking doing this? This is hard? 0:03:11.081 --> 0:03:13.800 Or I'm not making the money that I thought I would, 0:03:14.001 --> 0:03:16.560 or like what were all the imposter syndrome that was 0:03:16.601 --> 0:03:20.720 an absolute crippling for me? What was it that made 0:03:20.721 --> 0:03:21.441 you want to give up? 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:24.841 Like take your pick out of it all? 0:03:25.921 --> 0:03:28.961 Like all of you, all of those you know? 0:03:29.161 --> 0:03:32.881 That's right? Plus throw in there that I'm playing in 0:03:32.921 --> 0:03:37.241 an industry that a lot of times I don't resonate with. Yes, 0:03:37.641 --> 0:03:41.401 like I'm in the spiritual personal development world that sometimes 0:03:41.401 --> 0:03:43.441 it makes me want to vomit. Yeah, I hear and 0:03:43.441 --> 0:03:46.681 see stuff going on and I'm like, it's so untrue. 0:03:46.761 --> 0:03:49.281 And look at how many follows followers you have and 0:03:49.321 --> 0:03:52.321 how many people listening to you, and that just makes 0:03:52.361 --> 0:03:56.881 me want to vomit. Yes, so yeah, but all of 0:03:56.921 --> 0:04:00.481 those things, and also, like you know, earlier on in 0:04:00.521 --> 0:04:04.041 my in my healing journey, like feeling like I was 0:04:04.081 --> 0:04:06.921 doing so much work but never getting anywhere, Like I'd 0:04:06.961 --> 0:04:08.961 have like a little breakthrough, but then the same thing 0:04:09.041 --> 0:04:11.481 and pop up six months later, and it's like, just 0:04:11.521 --> 0:04:14.601 wanted to flip the bird to personal development because like 0:04:14.641 --> 0:04:18.281 that is so shit right when you're doing all the 0:04:18.321 --> 0:04:21.561 things and not really making a difference, Like it's not 0:04:21.761 --> 0:04:23.361 really getting to the source. 0:04:23.081 --> 0:04:25.641 Of why do you think that is? Like because I'm 0:04:25.681 --> 0:04:27.921 sure there are so many people listening being like that 0:04:28.041 --> 0:04:30.161 is literally me. I've wanted to flip a table that 0:04:30.201 --> 0:04:33.001 many times because I'm like, I thought, I fucking healed this. 0:04:33.921 --> 0:04:37.721 What am I doing it again? Jesus what? I may 0:04:37.721 --> 0:04:42.200 as well give the fuck up and just stop, Like 0:04:42.841 --> 0:04:44.720 what what do you think it is? When it's coming 0:04:44.761 --> 0:04:47.161 up sort of again? Or like how do you move 0:04:47.241 --> 0:04:47.640 through that? 0:04:48.841 --> 0:04:51.281 Mickey? You make me laugh so much flip the table up. 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.640 It's so true, Like you do right, you just want 0:04:53.641 --> 0:04:55.041 to be like this is fun. 0:04:56.001 --> 0:04:57.561 Yeah, I'm like I want to go back to being 0:04:57.961 --> 0:05:04.761 like unconscious and unaware and like right freedom in that muggle. 0:05:05.041 --> 0:05:07.441 I feel so much easier, Like you could just go 0:05:07.521 --> 0:05:11.561 to a normal job and do your normal thing and all. Yeah, 0:05:11.681 --> 0:05:17.601 so much easier. Ignorance is bliss, Yeah, totally. But I 0:05:17.641 --> 0:05:20.960 think that if you're not getting to the source of 0:05:21.001 --> 0:05:23.721 what the problem is, it's not effective. It's not effective 0:05:23.761 --> 0:05:26.041 healing that modality is not effective for you. 0:05:27.241 --> 0:05:29.200 So what was that actually for you? It doesn't work 0:05:29.641 --> 0:05:30.401 getting to the court. 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:33.361 That journey for me was so many years of trying 0:05:33.361 --> 0:05:36.281 to find the most effective stuff, like trying lots of 0:05:36.281 --> 0:05:38.561 different things, and I really didn't feel like I had 0:05:38.601 --> 0:05:41.241 much of a choice because I needed it, like I 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:43.881 really needed it. I needed to figure out like all 0:05:43.961 --> 0:05:45.841 the stuff that was going on inside of me, and 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:47.641 I needed to figure out how to heal myself so 0:05:47.681 --> 0:05:51.561 I could be happy again. Healing is so you know, 0:05:51.601 --> 0:05:53.881 I call is the healing journey, But it's so deep 0:05:53.921 --> 0:05:59.161 and it's so personal, it's so multi faceted because we're 0:05:59.241 --> 0:06:03.760 multifaceted people, but it's often a hidden inner experience of 0:06:03.801 --> 0:06:06.681 what we're going through when we're on that emotional rollercoaster. 0:06:07.161 --> 0:06:12.441 I often say that, like healing to me is less 0:06:12.681 --> 0:06:15.561 of a healing. I guess healing is the word that 0:06:15.601 --> 0:06:19.241 we've kind of been given as a way to describe it. 0:06:19.281 --> 0:06:21.121 Is there a better word I'm still searching on. 0:06:21.281 --> 0:06:23.281 I know. I always feel like it's almost like a 0:06:23.401 --> 0:06:26.641 getting to know, because it is, like it's just sort 0:06:26.681 --> 0:06:29.200 of getting to like and it's like a learning more 0:06:29.241 --> 0:06:33.521 than anything else, Like it's like learning learning yourself, like 0:06:33.801 --> 0:06:37.601 understanding different parts of you. And it's kind of like 0:06:37.721 --> 0:06:42.121 doing it not without shame, because like we can't determine 0:06:42.161 --> 0:06:45.361 that we can do something completely shameless, but kind of 0:06:45.401 --> 0:06:48.041 like coming at it from a degree of like just 0:06:48.121 --> 0:06:51.160 trying to peel away the shame from ourselves, like stop 0:06:51.201 --> 0:06:55.201 shaming ourselves for being ourselves, and just learning to understand 0:06:55.281 --> 0:06:58.601 all of these like beautiful, intricate parts of us and 0:06:58.801 --> 0:07:01.481 instead of seeing it as like a bad thing, it's 0:07:01.601 --> 0:07:05.721 just like a real understanding of it and like a 0:07:05.921 --> 0:07:09.401 love for like why we you know, just a love 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:11.961 for it all and an understanding and acceptance of it all. 0:07:12.641 --> 0:07:16.281 Yeah, that's really beautiful, Mickey. I feel like you know, 0:07:16.361 --> 0:07:18.561 in the same vein, we're going through a process of 0:07:18.681 --> 0:07:21.321 remembering of like who we actually are. We you're just 0:07:21.361 --> 0:07:23.321 going to render all the shit that's on top of 0:07:23.361 --> 0:07:26.361 us because the end of the day, like you know, 0:07:26.441 --> 0:07:28.761 I talk about like fixing problems, and I know that 0:07:28.801 --> 0:07:31.081 some people don't subscribe to that in my work, but 0:07:31.161 --> 0:07:33.681 I think you actually can heal and properly fix some 0:07:33.721 --> 0:07:35.681 of the stuff that's going on inside of you. And 0:07:35.721 --> 0:07:38.881 when it happens, then like it's revealing the beauty of 0:07:38.921 --> 0:07:42.961 who you are, Like our complete whole magnificence is already 0:07:43.041 --> 0:07:46.201 inside of us. It is remembering who we are, as 0:07:46.201 --> 0:07:47.681 you say, like if we have to get rid of 0:07:47.721 --> 0:07:51.561 a blaze of shame or processing trauma that we've experienced, 0:07:51.601 --> 0:07:55.001 all the different things, but ultimately we're just coming closer 0:07:55.041 --> 0:07:58.841 and closer to the essence of ourselves. And it is 0:07:58.881 --> 0:08:00.161 a remembering process. 0:08:00.681 --> 0:08:05.361 Yes, So tell walk me through what it is that 0:08:05.401 --> 0:08:09.481 you do and like how you got into it. Like 0:08:09.601 --> 0:08:13.441 I've heard of like the family constantly and I'm not 0:08:13.481 --> 0:08:15.961 even ture I'm even pronouncing it like saying it right 0:08:16.241 --> 0:08:18.881 or I'm fucking it up. But I've heard of it, 0:08:18.961 --> 0:08:21.241 but i don't really know much about it, and I'm 0:08:21.361 --> 0:08:24.881 intrigued because is it, like, just explain it to me. 0:08:24.921 --> 0:08:26.001 I'm not even going to try. 0:08:26.161 --> 0:08:30.281 Sure. So family consolation therapy was like the one modality 0:08:30.321 --> 0:08:32.121 that I found that actually got to the core of 0:08:32.161 --> 0:08:34.961 things and fixed like the shit that I was still 0:08:35.001 --> 0:08:39.601 carrying around. And that was super deep healing and such 0:08:39.601 --> 0:08:42.001 a relief at the same time, because I started feeling 0:08:42.081 --> 0:08:46.921 heaps lighter in myself and like this significant permanent change 0:08:47.201 --> 0:08:52.641 and healing. Family consolation therapy is really interesting, Mickey. It works. 0:08:52.721 --> 0:08:55.001 So you know how you and I we have energy fields, 0:08:55.041 --> 0:08:58.401 We have an aura. Our family system also has an 0:08:58.521 --> 0:09:03.521 energy field, and okay, you know when birds fly in 0:09:03.561 --> 0:09:07.681 a V formation, there is a biological phenomenon called a 0:09:07.721 --> 0:09:11.201 morphic field. That morphic field tells the birds how to 0:09:11.241 --> 0:09:15.041 fly in a V formation. So the energetic field around 0:09:15.081 --> 0:09:18.441 the birds is telling them what to do. Yes, right 0:09:18.641 --> 0:09:22.001 in the field of the family system. The energetic field, 0:09:22.041 --> 0:09:25.241 the morphic field of our family systems inform all of 0:09:25.281 --> 0:09:27.921 the individuals about how to behave and what to do. 0:09:28.881 --> 0:09:33.281 So we are born with this biological need to belong 0:09:33.321 --> 0:09:35.961 to our family systems because if we don't, we're not 0:09:36.001 --> 0:09:38.281 going to survive. Right as babies, we have to belong. 0:09:38.681 --> 0:09:42.761 There is this inherent need, whether you like it or not, 0:09:43.041 --> 0:09:47.481 to belong to your birth family. And we have like 0:09:47.561 --> 0:09:51.401 this deep sense and loyalty because we will give They 0:09:51.441 --> 0:09:54.241 gave us the greatest gift of all, which is the 0:09:54.281 --> 0:09:56.601 gift of life. So we have this inherent love and 0:09:56.681 --> 0:10:00.041 loyalty to our parents, even if they've treated us really poorly. 0:10:00.921 --> 0:10:04.001 And then we also overlay that with this biological needs 0:10:04.121 --> 0:10:07.561 belong to our family system. What that means is that 0:10:10.001 --> 0:10:13.361 you you know, when you're trying to do something in 0:10:13.401 --> 0:10:16.961 your life, Mickey, and you're like just don't have the willpower, 0:10:17.121 --> 0:10:19.921 Like I just can't do it. I've tried so much 0:10:20.161 --> 0:10:23.121 and I just can't like overcome this one thing. 0:10:23.401 --> 0:10:23.681 Yep. 0:10:24.081 --> 0:10:27.281 It is often connected to what's going on energetically in 0:10:27.321 --> 0:10:31.841 your family system, because your need to belong to your 0:10:31.881 --> 0:10:35.881 family overrides individual willpower personal willpower. 0:10:36.481 --> 0:10:39.041 Right, Okay, my mind is blown right now because I 0:10:39.121 --> 0:10:41.161 had no idea what it was, but it did not 0:10:41.361 --> 0:10:45.521 think I never thought about that, So how like, how 0:10:45.561 --> 0:10:48.961 how does it affect and how can you like as 0:10:49.001 --> 0:10:53.681 an individual, begin to do you need the whole family 0:10:53.761 --> 0:10:55.641 to be like in on it or. 0:10:56.161 --> 0:10:59.761 Yeah, great, it's awesome. Questions. So you don't because we 0:10:59.801 --> 0:11:02.601 work in the energetic field of your family system, you 0:11:02.641 --> 0:11:05.001 don't have to have it. You don't even need to 0:11:05.201 --> 0:11:07.921 talk to any of your family members about it. So 0:11:08.681 --> 0:11:13.041 it's so good, right, idea, I can't even imagine having 0:11:13.081 --> 0:11:15.601 to have those conversations. But we don't work through that 0:11:15.761 --> 0:11:19.401 three level. You don't work through that personality level. You 0:11:19.521 --> 0:11:22.721 work with the highest as of your family members, and 0:11:22.761 --> 0:11:26.681 it means that if they've passed away, you can still 0:11:26.681 --> 0:11:28.801 do the work with them. If it means that they're 0:11:28.841 --> 0:11:31.321 alive and you're not in contact, or you're living on 0:11:31.361 --> 0:11:33.561 the other side of the world, or for whatever reason 0:11:33.601 --> 0:11:35.921 it's not safe to be in contact with them, that's 0:11:35.961 --> 0:11:38.521 not a safe relationship. We still get to do the work. 0:11:38.521 --> 0:11:43.841 It's awesome. So, yeah, we do its energetic work. And 0:11:44.961 --> 0:11:47.681 I kind of tell you how much of a difference, Mickey. 0:11:47.761 --> 0:11:50.481 It makes you be in your body like it's a 0:11:50.601 --> 0:11:54.321 physical experience of what shifts when we do this work. 0:11:54.561 --> 0:11:56.681 Let me tell you a little bit more about it. Okay, Okay, 0:11:56.921 --> 0:12:00.561 So let's go back to another animal analogy. So you know, 0:12:00.761 --> 0:12:06.401 with a wolf pack, if every wolf is knows what 0:12:06.521 --> 0:12:08.761 their role is and they know where to stand in 0:12:08.801 --> 0:12:11.041 the wolf pack, the wolf pack is really strong and 0:12:11.081 --> 0:12:15.921 really healthy. All of the individuals can thrive when every 0:12:16.001 --> 0:12:18.441 individual wolf knows what they're meant to be doing. It's 0:12:18.441 --> 0:12:21.281 the same in the field of the family system, when 0:12:21.801 --> 0:12:25.201 every individual is standing in the right place. Yeah, the 0:12:25.281 --> 0:12:29.961 constellation part. Yes, like everyone's a star in the field 0:12:30.001 --> 0:12:33.961 of the family system. Yeah, when everyone is standing in 0:12:33.961 --> 0:12:38.281 their rightful places and performing their rightful roles, and everyone 0:12:38.321 --> 0:12:40.961 in the field of the family system is so much stronger, 0:12:41.121 --> 0:12:45.641 so much happier, so much healthier. Also, love and lifeless 0:12:45.721 --> 0:12:48.601 energy flows through the field of our family system. And 0:12:48.641 --> 0:12:51.561 there's a couple of ways where like the hose gets kinked. 0:12:52.081 --> 0:12:55.121 First of all, it's people are in the wrong positions 0:12:55.121 --> 0:12:58.841 and they're performing the wrong roles. Like say, I'm a daughter, 0:12:59.081 --> 0:13:02.321 but I'm acting like a mother to my mother. Yeah, 0:13:03.201 --> 0:13:08.921 it's called parentification. Yes, So when we're performing the wrong roles, 0:13:09.001 --> 0:13:11.961 it kinks the flow of loveless energy. We're sounding in 0:13:12.001 --> 0:13:16.401 the wrong positions that lifeless energy can't flow. Also, when 0:13:16.441 --> 0:13:19.841 there's been trauma that's been experienced by any members of 0:13:19.881 --> 0:13:24.401 our family and it hasn't been processed, it is like 0:13:24.561 --> 0:13:28.001 having an octopus over that person's face. All it doesn't 0:13:28.001 --> 0:13:31.321 matter where they look, all they can see is the 0:13:31.361 --> 0:13:35.161 octopus is the trauma. So, you know, when I'm sure 0:13:35.241 --> 0:13:38.201 we've all seen this, like when a parent has experienced 0:13:38.201 --> 0:13:40.881 some sort of trauma in their life and they just 0:13:40.921 --> 0:13:44.921 can't be present to their children, like they are just 0:13:45.081 --> 0:13:48.401 kind of consumed and taken over by the things that 0:13:48.401 --> 0:13:51.921 they've experienced and haven't been able to resolve yet. So 0:13:52.161 --> 0:13:54.801 unprocessed trauma sits there like a big boulder in the 0:13:54.801 --> 0:13:57.521 field of the family system. It prevents the flow of 0:13:57.561 --> 0:14:02.041 love and lifeless energy moving through. And so when we 0:14:02.281 --> 0:14:04.841 heal all that unprocessed trauma and we put everyone into 0:14:04.841 --> 0:14:09.961 the positions and people performing their rightful roles, you get 0:14:09.961 --> 0:14:14.121 this beautiful like experience of heaps of support coming into 0:14:14.161 --> 0:14:16.921 the back of your body and you feel really strong 0:14:17.041 --> 0:14:19.841 and you feel really light because you've released all the 0:14:19.881 --> 0:14:24.201 shit that you've been carrying from other people. Yeah, this 0:14:24.361 --> 0:14:27.321 is that whole repeating pattern thing. You know. Some people 0:14:27.401 --> 0:14:30.881 call it like ancestral healing. Or like epigenetics and all 0:14:30.881 --> 0:14:32.801 of that stuff. But this is a whole nother take 0:14:32.881 --> 0:14:36.841 on that, which is it is much easier for us 0:14:36.961 --> 0:14:41.241 to you know, when you're skiing and doing like cross 0:14:41.281 --> 0:14:43.841 country skiing, and it's so much easier to go in 0:14:43.921 --> 0:14:47.441 the well worn tracks of other people. It's the same 0:14:47.481 --> 0:14:49.681 in the field of our family. It's much easier for 0:14:49.801 --> 0:14:51.881 us to repeat the same patterns, to do the same 0:14:51.921 --> 0:14:55.161 sorts of things as what the norm of our family 0:14:55.201 --> 0:14:58.721 system is. So when you know our when it comes 0:14:58.761 --> 0:15:01.401 to our generation, mickey, like, we are wanting to create 0:15:01.481 --> 0:15:05.041 all sorts of amazing things that haven't that hasn't had 0:15:05.161 --> 0:15:07.801 and historically in our family, like we want to be 0:15:08.001 --> 0:15:10.041 much happier than anyone else was. We want to do 0:15:10.161 --> 0:15:14.081 what is really fulfilling and you know perhaps our past 0:15:14.121 --> 0:15:17.161 generations didn't have that. We want to experience true love. 0:15:17.201 --> 0:15:19.801 We want to be you know, conscious parents. We want 0:15:19.841 --> 0:15:22.081 to I don't know, make a ton of money. Like 0:15:22.281 --> 0:15:24.961 whatever the things are that you want to create. It's 0:15:25.001 --> 0:15:28.281 sort of like you either have the feeling of like 0:15:28.681 --> 0:15:31.441 being held back, like unseen hands holding you back you 0:15:31.481 --> 0:15:34.521 can't quite create the things that you want, or with 0:15:34.641 --> 0:15:37.081 the shift of like doing this kind of work, it 0:15:37.121 --> 0:15:41.441 feels like you get to create like the most beautiful 0:15:41.521 --> 0:15:45.001 life with the support of your family and doing it 0:15:45.041 --> 0:15:46.001 in honor of them. 0:15:46.681 --> 0:15:49.201 So I've had so many like listening to you, I've 0:15:49.241 --> 0:15:53.561 had so many like like almost duh moments, you know, 0:15:53.681 --> 0:15:57.081 where like everything that you were talking about, like just 0:15:57.121 --> 0:15:59.681 even on just a physical level, which I guess is 0:15:59.721 --> 0:16:03.001 also you know, like an energetic level as well. So 0:16:03.281 --> 0:16:09.321 much of our shit now as adults comes from us 0:16:09.361 --> 0:16:11.721 when we were children and our family, our family, sisters, 0:16:11.761 --> 0:16:19.281 whether it's mum, well and all of the above, mom, dad, dad, mom, brother, sister, whoever, whoever, grandparents, 0:16:19.401 --> 0:16:23.081 because you're right, like they are like when we're younger, 0:16:23.161 --> 0:16:26.681 they are our world. They are everything. We're learning everything 0:16:26.721 --> 0:16:30.321 about ourselves from them. We're learning everything about relationships from them. 0:16:30.361 --> 0:16:33.801 We're learning everything about how we treat people, how we behave, 0:16:33.961 --> 0:16:37.081 how we respond to situations, how we feel safe. We're 0:16:37.121 --> 0:16:40.521 creating our safety based on how we feel. And so 0:16:40.761 --> 0:16:43.321 like I guess, like it makes so much sense now 0:16:43.361 --> 0:16:47.361 when you think about it and like to consider healing 0:16:47.561 --> 0:16:51.121 just the energetic relationships without having because a lot of 0:16:51.241 --> 0:16:53.801 us are going like you know, well, I'm in therapy 0:16:53.921 --> 0:16:56.801 and I'm talking, and which is also a beautiful important 0:16:56.801 --> 0:16:59.761 thing as well and can be so so good, like 0:16:59.841 --> 0:17:02.801 good and important. But like for me, for example, I'm 0:17:02.801 --> 0:17:05.241 listening to this and like I've been through a lot 0:17:05.281 --> 0:17:10.001 of those everything like issues with family, and there's so 0:17:10.241 --> 0:17:15.001 much that I can't have conversations with certain people or 0:17:15.201 --> 0:17:19.561 it's unsafe for me or whatever. But to add like 0:17:19.681 --> 0:17:23.201 the element to be able to heal the family shit 0:17:23.321 --> 0:17:28.361 without having to fucking sit down and like do it, 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.801 Like that's really interesting to me. But it also makes 0:17:30.801 --> 0:17:32.721 so much sense because it would be so much more 0:17:32.761 --> 0:17:36.041 freeing for me and be able to like heal so 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.001 much within myself because of course, like so much of 0:17:39.041 --> 0:17:41.400 me is relevant to them exactly. 0:17:41.441 --> 0:17:43.561 And then when you start talking about it, it is 0:17:43.600 --> 0:17:46.241 like having those dorm moments, like you said, oh my gosh, 0:17:46.321 --> 0:17:48.600 how did I never think about it? Just so all 0:17:48.681 --> 0:17:52.200 the things that are hidden in plain sight. It's it 0:17:52.360 --> 0:17:54.481 just sort of is like, well, no, no, we don't think 0:17:54.521 --> 0:17:57.001 about it in that way, but when we start talking 0:17:57.041 --> 0:18:00.881 about it just feels so bright and so true. That's 0:18:00.921 --> 0:18:02.601 what happened to me anyway. 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.601 Is it on? Like even when we talk about sort 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:09.481 of like I don't know, like our spaces in the family, 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.321 and like our roles now all of those sorts of things. 0:18:13.360 --> 0:18:16.360 Are we talking like soul level? Are we talking like 0:18:16.561 --> 0:18:19.481 this is what we've come down to do and our 0:18:19.561 --> 0:18:21.680 roles to play and the lessons to learn? Like is 0:18:21.721 --> 0:18:23.880 there a lot of karmic stuff sort of within it? 0:18:24.521 --> 0:18:27.640 Okay, So the roles are more like you know how 0:18:27.681 --> 0:18:30.041 I said before, like as a daughter, I shouldn't be 0:18:30.080 --> 0:18:32.521 parenting my mother. As a daughter, I should be playing 0:18:32.561 --> 0:18:35.400 a daughter role and I should be in a receiving question. 0:18:35.961 --> 0:18:38.121 And then as a mother for my children, I meant 0:18:38.120 --> 0:18:39.960 to be in a giving position. So that's what I 0:18:40.041 --> 0:18:46.641 mean by playing the rightful roles. The whole soul karmic 0:18:46.721 --> 0:18:53.401 thing is really a whole other interesting conversation, which can 0:18:53.441 --> 0:18:56.001 we could like go off hold a huge rabbit hole about. 0:18:56.201 --> 0:19:00.360 I think that we have agreements with our you know, 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.521 on that soule level to come in and to come 0:19:02.521 --> 0:19:06.080 into particular families that give us exactly what we need 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:09.681 on the soule level, and it can be challenging as far. Yeah, 0:19:09.961 --> 0:19:12.961 you know, and sometimes it's the stuff that we experience 0:19:13.041 --> 0:19:17.521 with our families that are so deeply challenging, Mickey, become 0:19:17.721 --> 0:19:21.600 our greatest gifts. And I really truly believe that like 0:19:21.681 --> 0:19:24.920 our greatest challenges are also our greatest gifts. We just 0:19:24.921 --> 0:19:26.880 need to figure out how to get them from a 0:19:26.961 --> 0:19:28.001 challenge to a gift. 0:19:28.241 --> 0:19:31.161 Oh one hundred percent. I think that all the time. 0:19:31.201 --> 0:19:34.920 I think you know anyone who's probably experienced anything like 0:19:35.001 --> 0:19:38.761 even once you've gotten to a stage of like acceptance 0:19:38.761 --> 0:19:42.521 and realization, for the fact that like it's given you 0:19:42.801 --> 0:19:46.360 the capacity to think. I think when you experience things, 0:19:46.360 --> 0:19:51.161 it gives you a deeper capacity for compassion and understanding 0:19:51.201 --> 0:19:55.041 of others, because it's really hard to understand what someone 0:19:55.041 --> 0:19:57.600 else has experienced and gone through when you literally can't 0:19:57.681 --> 0:20:01.281 understand it. And I think that is a beautiful gift 0:20:01.441 --> 0:20:02.961 to be able to give people. 0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:07.881 So interestingly they're Our relationship with our family members can 0:20:07.921 --> 0:20:11.561 set this baseline or blueprint for how much love we 0:20:11.640 --> 0:20:14.801 experience in our lives. So if you think about the 0:20:15.120 --> 0:20:17.240 life loos, synergy and the love that you're getting from 0:20:17.321 --> 0:20:19.321 your parents, you meant to be getting lots of love 0:20:19.681 --> 0:20:21.720 from your mum behind you on your left and your 0:20:21.801 --> 0:20:25.201 dad behind you on your right. That is like how 0:20:25.281 --> 0:20:28.281 we experience the world as well. So if there is 0:20:28.360 --> 0:20:33.080 like this is really interesting. So for instance, some people 0:20:33.201 --> 0:20:36.121 have like a burst of love that they experience from 0:20:36.120 --> 0:20:41.521 their mother and then nothing, and then that experience creates 0:20:41.561 --> 0:20:44.200 a feast or famine kind of energy, and then that 0:20:44.281 --> 0:20:47.721 translates into other things like how you experience money in 0:20:47.761 --> 0:20:50.321 your life, Like maybe then you get like bulk amounts 0:20:50.321 --> 0:20:53.640 of money and then there's nothing for ages. And so 0:20:54.400 --> 0:21:00.480 our relationships with our family can create particular dynamics in 0:21:00.561 --> 0:21:04.640 our lives like that stop go feast or famine energy 0:21:04.801 --> 0:21:08.241 or it's like that you only ever get just enough 0:21:08.281 --> 0:21:11.880 to get by. Yeah, you know there are things like 0:21:12.001 --> 0:21:14.801 that that come up and that get healed in family 0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:21.041 constellation therapy because it's just so intertwined. It's like, you know, 0:21:21.080 --> 0:21:23.961 we're meant to receive love and lifeless energy from source 0:21:24.241 --> 0:21:26.561 from the divine and from Earth, and then we're also 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:28.680 meant to receive it from our family assistance. And if 0:21:28.721 --> 0:21:30.840 you're not getting it from if there's not that free 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:33.880 flow of love and support coming through from mum and 0:21:33.961 --> 0:21:37.240 dad and everyone else, like you've kind of got like 0:21:37.360 --> 0:21:38.281 one lead cut off. 0:21:39.360 --> 0:21:42.400 Yes, that makes so much sense. I mean I always 0:21:42.481 --> 0:21:47.561 even think about how like the role of a parent 0:21:47.961 --> 0:21:53.080 and a child to me reminds me of like say 0:21:53.201 --> 0:21:58.360 spirit team to me, And I remember having that moment 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.321 I think I've spoken about this on the podcast one 0:22:00.321 --> 0:22:03.281 time where I was like telling one of my children, like, 0:22:03.360 --> 0:22:06.440 don't touch that that's hot, and they going why and 0:22:06.441 --> 0:22:08.801 I'm like, just trust me, like I've just I've been 0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:10.241 on earth longer than you. I can. 0:22:10.640 --> 0:22:11.240 I just know. 0:22:11.761 --> 0:22:15.761 And then my guide, like my spirit team, was just like, ah, 0:22:15.801 --> 0:22:19.721