1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey cheeks, I'm sal and I'm 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: out And this is two Broke Chicks to show that 4 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to make you rich in life. 5 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 2: And today we are joined by one of our best 6 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 2: friends and the host of. 7 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 3: The Psychology Funny podcast, Jammus Beg. 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 4: Welcome back, guys. My voice is cooked. I hadn't really 9 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 4: realized how bad it was. It's why I jump onto mic. 10 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 5: Thank you for you still sound so sultry. You always 11 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 5: have such lovely dulcet tones. 12 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 1: You know. 13 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 4: I'm that episode of Friends where Phoebe gets the yeah 14 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 4: and she's like, smelly care I love it. 15 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 2: Well. Today we've got you on one because we love you. 16 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 4: But we're also going to. 17 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 2: Talk about how to lighten your mental load. And we 18 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 2: got a lot of questions sent. 19 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 5: In by the Chicks. 20 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 2: A lot of the questions that we'll be asking you 21 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,839 Speaker 2: today are inspired by the dilemmas that they sent in. 22 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 2: But before we get into it, what's your life lesson 23 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 2: of the week. 24 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 4: Okay, I've got a few, as always, but I'll stick 25 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 4: with one. My life lesson of the week. Related to 26 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 4: my voice is do not put you know, multiple important 27 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 4: events in a one week period, being like yeah, yeah, 28 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 4: then I can just get through them. It's going to 29 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 4: be so exciting. Just space the amount, space them ount 30 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 4: space out the big events. Say no to some things 31 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 4: because I am paying the cost right now. I do 32 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 4: it all the time. Remember last year when I was like, 33 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 4: I'm going to do I went away for two months 34 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 4: and I was like, and I'm going to do all 35 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 4: my episodes before I leave. Why did I do that? 36 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 4: There was the dumbest decision, and then of course I 37 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 4: got sick for like the first week. 38 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: Of my own. Like, I get that approach, but I 39 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: think it's a good life lesson to be like, you 40 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: know what, you are actually better off spacing it out. 41 00:01:54,960 --> 00:02:00,639 Speaker 2: Slow down, girls, and say no, yes, that's a general 42 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 2: good rule of thumb. 43 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 5: What's your life lesson? 44 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 4: Now? 45 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: The life lesson is to not forget about renewing your license. 46 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 5: I want to preface this with no one is allowed 47 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 5: to yell at me. 48 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 6: I know it was naughty, and it was only by. 49 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 4: Like two dates. 50 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm driving into the office and I'm like blasting 51 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 1: Pink Pony Club and then there's a police behind me, 52 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: but like, I don't care because I'm not doing anything wrong. 53 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 6: And then the lights go on behind me, and I 54 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,799 Speaker 6: was like, why am I getting pulled over? 55 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 5: And so I pull over. 56 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 6: And as I'm pulling over, I'm like thinking. 57 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 5: I'm like, what could it be? And then I'm like, 58 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 5: oh my god. 59 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 1: And I've thought about the date and my license has 60 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,799 Speaker 1: expired by two days, my two days, and I was 61 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: like oh. And then he was like, oh, can I 62 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 1: get your license? And I was like, yeah, sure, and 63 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: I just keep my license on my phone. So I 64 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 1: pull it up and I pull it up and I 65 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: show him as in like there's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, 66 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,920 Speaker 1: like where as on the screen in a big red 67 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: banner it's as renew license. 68 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 6: And I'm just like, here you go. And he's like cool, 69 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 6: reading out the number and he doesn't say anything, and 70 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 6: I'm like, oh my god, I think I've gotten away. 71 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 4: Oh my god. 72 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: And then he goes, now your license has come up, 73 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: has expired. And this is my moment, this is my 74 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: Oscar Worthy moment that I go what And I whip 75 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 1: my phone back up and look and I go, shit. 76 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 6: I know it's expired. I was like fuck, oh my god. 77 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,799 Speaker 6: And I look at him and we're like, oh my god, 78 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 6: can I just renew it now? 79 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: And he goes, yeah, if you can just renew that 80 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: now for me, and it's fine, and then anyways, like 81 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go check everything, and so then I'm 82 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: renewing it with like lightning speed, and I'm going. 83 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 5: Sorry, sorry, and he's like, it's okay, just do it now. 84 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 6: And then he comes back and he's like. 85 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: Look, I'm gonna give you a caution, but if I 86 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: was going to give you a fine, this is how 87 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 1: much it would be, and it was going to be 88 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: six hundred and eighty two dollars. 89 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 6: Six hundred and eighty two dollars. 90 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 5: So my life lesson of the week is to check when. 91 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: Your license is expiring and renew it and don't be 92 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: a naughty little worm like me. 93 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, put it in your calendar the next time you 94 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: pay your registration or renew your license. Put it in 95 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 2: your calendar for a week, for a week before it's due. 96 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 5: Yeah. So yeah, that was my life lesson. Renew your lescense, 97 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 5: be nice to that, and. 98 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 2: Be nice, be nice to the people around you. My 99 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,840 Speaker 2: life lesson of the week I'm going to keep it 100 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 2: brief because I want to jump into the episode, but 101 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,280 Speaker 2: it kind of relates to the topic of today's episode, 102 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 2: and it's to ask for help when you need it. 103 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 2: Last week, we were preparing for the live show, our 104 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,040 Speaker 2: very first live show. We you know, we're obviously preparing 105 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 2: the show packing seven hundred goodie bags. You know, we 106 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 2: worked extremely hard that week, but I don't think any 107 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 2: of it would have been possible without all of the 108 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 2: people who helped us, including you, Jem, and I think 109 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 2: a lot of the time, you know, where we don't 110 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 2: want to burden anyone, we don't want to bother anyone, 111 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 2: or we think that we can just do it all ourselves, 112 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 2: and sometimes we feel shame reaching out and asking for help. 113 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 2: I know I definitely do, and I think this week 114 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 2: both Alex and I really like just let our guard down, 115 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 2: reached out to everybody that we could and we're like, 116 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 2: can you please help, and recruited a lot of our 117 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 2: friends and family, and we couldn't have done it without them. 118 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 2: And I think even just having people by your side 119 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 2: who believe in you and believe in the cause, because 120 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 2: I think that, you know, we were so stressed about 121 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,760 Speaker 2: the show and we just wanted it to go amazing 122 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,120 Speaker 2: for you chicks, and everybody around us was like, what 123 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 2: are you talking about? 124 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 5: This is gonna be. 125 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 2: Amazing, Like these goodie bags are like the best things 126 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 2: we've ever seen. The show looks hilarious, like you're gonna 127 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,120 Speaker 2: kill it. So they're giving us like moral support as 128 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 2: well as physical help like packing goodie bags or building 129 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 2: the couch for the stage, all of these things. And 130 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 2: I think it's just a good reminder that I'm going 131 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 2: to remember the next time that I'm feeling stressed and 132 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 2: trying to do everything myself that reach out for help. 133 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 2: And I think that if people don't have the capacity 134 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,679 Speaker 2: to help you, that you know, they'll. 135 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 5: Say I can't do it this time. 136 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 2: That's okay, and that's totally fine as well. But I 137 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 2: think a lot of the time people don't know that 138 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 2: you need help until you ask for it. So, yeah, 139 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: that's my life lesson of thanks. 140 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 5: All right, let's get into it. 141 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: So, for anyone who isn't familiar with you and your podcast, 142 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,320 Speaker 1: can you please give us a little backstory on the 143 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:32,720 Speaker 1: psychology of your twenties. 144 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like it's in the name right. Basically, 145 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 4: we talk about the biggest moments, transitions, events, situations of 146 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 4: your twenties and we apply the science and the psychology 147 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,279 Speaker 4: to them. So if you're going through a breakup, I 148 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 4: mean like, why does this suck so much? Like we'll 149 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 4: have an episode that's like here is exactly why according 150 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 4: to human psychology, or why do I feel so lost 151 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 4: after university? Here is why it's normal. It's natural. Anything 152 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 4: that you can think of that you're going through in 153 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 4: your twenty there is a really special explanation. But also 154 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 4: we talk about why it is so common, and especially 155 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 4: that you're not alone because. 156 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 6: You've got a background in psychology, right. 157 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 4: I got a double specialization maybe and I used to 158 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 4: work in link the mental health space for it for 159 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 4: a while. 160 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: As we mentioned, we did put an Instagram story up 161 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: and ask the chicks to send in their questions and 162 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: dilemmas for you, and a lot of people were asking 163 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: questions about how to ask for help and also how 164 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: to reach out to somebody if you think that they 165 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 1: need help. So let's start with how can you reach 166 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: out to somebody and ask for help if you're struggling. 167 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 4: See, I find it's so interesting because that was your 168 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 4: life lesson right, you guys will know better than anyone. 169 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 4: It's really really difficult because when we ask for help, 170 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 4: I think we also have this sense of shame that 171 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 4: we're not able to do it all ourselves. And as 172 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 4: people who are often you know, I know you too, 173 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 4: And I'm sure a lot of your audience are very 174 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 4: hyperindependent women who are very capable, very able to step 175 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 4: up for themselves. It feels like a sign of and 176 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 4: I don't like the word weakness, but in our minds, 177 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 4: it feels like a sign of weakness or failure to 178 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 4: ask or help. So I like to ask people for 179 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 4: specific things that I need done rather than just being like, hey, 180 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 4: like I just need help. I'm stranded to take things 181 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 4: off my plate right Like. I had a pretty hard 182 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 4: and mental health time recently and it was just being like, hey, 183 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 4: do you want to just come over and like watch 184 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 4: a movie. Think about like what you really need taking 185 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 4: off your plate or added to your plate? Is it 186 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 4: like a physical task that you need done? Is it 187 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 4: something that is it like a mental task? Like can 188 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,839 Speaker 4: you figure out how to do this? Can you figure 189 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 4: out this system for me? Is it that you just 190 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 4: need social support? Try and think about what it is 191 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 4: that you would benefit most from, and start by asking 192 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 4: someone who's very trusted. You know. It was a mistake 193 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 4: I made where I was like, as much as our 194 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 4: friends are amazing, sometimes you can't expect people who aren't 195 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,559 Speaker 4: don't know you and honors close to you to give 196 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 4: you the kind of support that you want, and then 197 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 4: you end up disappointed. So start small. I would say, like, 198 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:08,559 Speaker 4: start with the people, right. The worst thing is when 199 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 4: you're like, oh please, can I You're kind of like 200 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 4: muttering yourselfing like I need help, and then like a 201 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 4: bunch of people turn away, and it's like, well, that's 202 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,079 Speaker 4: not going to happen with the people who really care 203 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 4: about family friends. 204 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: Do you have any tips on how you can offload 205 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 1: to people around you without like trauma dumping on them. 206 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a hard one, right. 207 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: It is, because sometimes like just to even open up 208 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: to someone, you just want to get it all out, 209 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: but you don't want to put too much on. 210 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 4: Yeah. It's kind of the thing that I find difficult 211 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 4: about that is that often when you're in the state 212 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 4: of just needing to trauma dump, we're not great. It's 213 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 4: sensing how someone else is doing and I know that 214 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 4: a lot of people suggest this and everyone's like it 215 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,920 Speaker 4: sounds so clinical and it sounds so artificial. Genuinely just 216 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 4: ask them and be like, hey, I was like going 217 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 4: through some really heavy stuff. Can you just come and 218 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,839 Speaker 4: sit with me and like can we discuss it? And 219 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 4: just being like, oh, this might be a little bit heavy. 220 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 4: Tell me if you're up for it or not before 221 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 4: they get there. That's something that I actually did because 222 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 4: I had a friend who was at the same time 223 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 4: as me, like going through rough stuff, and she was like, Oh, 224 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,679 Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I don't think I can talk about it. 225 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 4: You have to respect that other people also know what's 226 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 4: best for them as well sometimes, and so as much 227 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 4: as we try and anticipate what's going to be best 228 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 4: for them and what's not going to harm them, sometimes 229 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 4: you just have to trust that they know the answer 230 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 4: for themselves, and if they're uncomfortable, if they're unhappy with 231 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 4: what's happening, they can stand up for themselves and they 232 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 4: can walk away or find. 233 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 5: An excuse they're not able to take. 234 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 4: It on, and just respect that when they give you 235 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 4: that kind of sign. 236 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that's also a good thing to 237 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: opening that conversation because sometimes if someone is also in 238 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: the trenches, you can kind of be in there together, 239 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: like yeah, and I were like, oh, kind of in 240 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: the trenches recently, and we're both like and like Rather 241 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: than with it, like the three of us like dealing 242 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,199 Speaker 1: with what we were dealing with it on our own, 243 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: we spent time together and were like this fucking sacks it. 244 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 5: And like that makes you feel better. 245 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:12,560 Speaker 4: That was the best. 246 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: Like it's not you're not there to help, You're just 247 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,119 Speaker 1: there to be like commiseration in community. 248 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,839 Speaker 4: Yes, that's literally what we did one night, like a 249 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,960 Speaker 4: couple of weeks ago, like three weeks ago out Like 250 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,079 Speaker 4: I was like, all right, come over to my house. 251 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 4: I've got some wine and I've got some cheese at yeah, 252 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 4: and we're going to just sit here and play and play, 253 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 4: drink wine, drink wine, cry And it was Honestly, I 254 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 4: remember leaving that and being like, Wow, that's really what 255 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 4: I needed, because sometimes actually what you need most is 256 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 4: to not be isolated. 257 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 2: Yes, how do you reach out to somebody who you 258 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:49,719 Speaker 2: think could be struggling but they haven't reached out for help. 259 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 4: Or don't expect them to ever do it? Like, don't 260 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 4: expect them to reach out for help, because it can 261 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,320 Speaker 4: be very, very difficult. Also, sometimes you're just like I 262 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,719 Speaker 4: I don't want to go on my phone. I don't 263 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 4: want to talk to anyone. I don't I'm not even 264 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 4: thinking about asking for help. But at a certain stage 265 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 4: I did have a friend actually be like, oh, you know, 266 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,079 Speaker 4: I was just waiting till you reached out to me. 267 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 4: And I really appreciate where she's coming from and love 268 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 4: her to bits, So this isn't like a criticism of her, 269 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 4: but it was a bit like why is that my job? 270 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 4: Like why is that my job? At this point? Like, 271 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 4: if you're aware that this is going on sometimes and 272 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 4: it is the selfish, it can feel selfish. But sometimes 273 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 4: you're like, I don't want to be the one who 274 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:39,440 Speaker 4: has to now navigate asking and putting myself on the 275 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:44,559 Speaker 4: line and making plans. So if you know that your 276 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 4: friend is going through a rough time, think about the 277 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 4: support that you would most need. Now. It doesn't have 278 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 4: to be an explicit you're going through a rough time. 279 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 4: I want to talk to you about that rough time. 280 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 4: It can be like what you did where it was 281 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 4: just like, oh, come over and let's just like have 282 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 4: a drink and we don't even have to talk about it. 283 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 4: We can just sit or I had a friend recently 284 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 4: when I was going through this who was like, every 285 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 4: morning she's like, hey, you're just thinking of you, just 286 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 4: thinking of you, leaving the door open. I was like, yeah, 287 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,839 Speaker 4: just thinking of you, and oh, like would you like 288 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 4: me to drop over something today? Like would you like 289 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 4: me to come over today? Leaving that kind of invitation 290 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 4: space open. I know it can feel really awkward to 291 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:22,559 Speaker 4: be like. 292 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 5: Or even just to know that you're thinking about them. 293 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 1: I think sometimes people can be worried about overstepping. Yes, 294 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: they because one thing that when you are dealing with 295 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 1: a large mental health load is even the idea of 296 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: someone coming over and having to host them or talk 297 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: about your feelings. That's even more struggle. And I think 298 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: your friends can be worried about putting that on you that. 299 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: I think even just the little bit of I'm thinking 300 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: about you and I'm here if you need it, which 301 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: is exactly what you're saying, is a really helpful way 302 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 1: to like navigate those types of situations with friends. 303 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,959 Speaker 4: Yeah. Also, the other thing is like I really got 304 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,079 Speaker 4: in my head about was well, I don't really want 305 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,840 Speaker 4: to invite someone over and like my house is a 306 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 4: mess and like, oh, I'm going to have to clean up, 307 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 4: but it just takes so much process. So being completely 308 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 4: gentle and completely like no expectations about it, no, what's 309 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 4: the word, like, no responsibility on their behalf. Also just 310 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 4: I know it's gonna feel cringe, You're gonna feel like 311 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 4: you're overstepping. It's better to overstep than to understep. I guess, 312 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 4: like it's better for someone to come out and be like, oh, 313 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 4: you know, wow, they were really, they were really there 314 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 4: for me, then to be like where was where was she? 315 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 4: Where was that? Friends? Like I've never I don't think 316 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 4: I've had someone in a hard time ever say the 317 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 4: wrong thing to me with the right intentions, Like surely 318 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 4: they could have said things better, but in those moments 319 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 4: where it's going, well, you know, you're just emotionally not 320 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 4: doing well, it's really anything that anyone can say like 321 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 4: feels pretty comforting and great to know they're there. 322 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 6: That thing that you said before as well is so true. 323 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 1: But like even in moments that like I've you know, 324 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,000 Speaker 1: been in a bit of a I call them like 325 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: tired spots because I'm like, I'm just too tired to 326 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: deal with it, like whatever that is, it is like 327 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: the way that I'm feeling it is like the mental load. 328 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 5: It is like the stress. 329 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: That's like my apartment will be really messy and then 330 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: you beat yourself up for that. Soal will literally be like, 331 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: why didn't I come over and help you clean it? 332 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 1: And like it's not like that's it, Like that's all 333 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: you have to do sometimes to help someone that it's 334 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: like I'll come over and I'll help you clean your 335 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 1: apartment and. 336 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 6: She's literally just like yeah, body double all the time. 337 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 5: It's the best. 338 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: But I do want to ask a question that we 339 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 1: did get a lot from the Chicks, and it's how 340 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 1: to know when you need to take action on something 341 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: that is weighing on your mental health and on your mind, 342 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 1: because lots of people were asking how to know when 343 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: a relationship has run its course, whether it's romantic or friendship, 344 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: any relationship. 345 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 4: Really, here's my rule, So I have I have two rules. 346 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 5: I like this. 347 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 4: My biggest rule is if I'm thinking about still thinking 348 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 4: about something within forty eight hours, I need to say 349 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 4: something to that person. And if I'm still thinking about 350 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 4: it in ten days, then something I need to take action. 351 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 4: So if you know you're sitting there being like, oh 352 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 4: my god, I don't know if I want to be 353 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 4: with my boyfriend. I kind of want to break up 354 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 4: with him. You know, something that he's done has really 355 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 4: pissed me off as just a deal breaker within forty 356 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 4: eight hours, if you're still ruminating on it, you should 357 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 4: say something instead of boundary And then in ten days 358 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 4: if you're like, well that wasn't enough, you know they 359 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 4: haven't changed or actually it's something deeper. If you're still 360 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 4: considering like should I break up with them and it's 361 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 4: been that long, then you have to take an action 362 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 4: because I just think that's a pretty clear sign that 363 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 4: this isn't a passing or fleeting urge. Because so I've 364 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 4: heard this thing about women who right before their peers, 365 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 4: it's get this intense urge to break up with their partners. 366 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 4: It's like part of PMS. Yeah, yeah, I was reading 367 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 4: about it the other day. There was like an article 368 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 4: written about how it's like a really rare PMS symptom. 369 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 4: Don't make the decision right then, yeah, because that's like 370 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 4: something you're gonna regret. But if you have, if it's 371 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 4: been sitting and weighing on your mind for that long, like, 372 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,120 Speaker 4: it's probably not going to change. Your circumstances might change, 373 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 4: you might be distracted, but then in three months you're 374 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 4: gonna go through the same cycle again, wishing that you 375 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,199 Speaker 4: had done it three months earlier. Same thing with friendships sometimes, 376 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 4: And I think about this in terms of my past relationship. 377 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,360 Speaker 4: I kind of knew that it wasn't gonna work six 378 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 4: months in, and then I stayed for another year, yeah, 379 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 4: because I you know, and there was periods where it 380 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,479 Speaker 4: was like a month where I was thinking every day 381 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 4: I should break up with him. But then, you know, 382 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 4: you move on, holidays come around, and. 383 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 5: Something, Why was that? Do you know that's so silly 384 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:55,359 Speaker 5: of me. 385 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 4: Oh, you're just lonely, and you're like, oh, maybe it's 386 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,640 Speaker 4: just better to just stay with this person. There's my biggest. 387 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 5: Tipicy I like those. I think those are good. 388 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 1: I think that's a really good rule to use in 389 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: any situation, even if it's with co workers or friendships. 390 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 5: Especially. 391 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: I think friendships we can very easily sweep things under 392 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: the rugs because confrontation in friendship is a lot more 393 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: awkward than in relationships. 394 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 5: For some reason. 395 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 1: But that's why friendships fall apart because you just don't 396 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: say anything, and then you build resentment and tension, and 397 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: you can always tell yeah. 398 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,160 Speaker 2: And I think that's a good way to distinguish whether 399 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 2: or not your self sabotaging or if you are truly 400 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,399 Speaker 2: listening to your gut and giving it that space to 401 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 2: know that, no, this is the decision that I want. 402 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 5: To make, and like, trust yourself. 403 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 4: You know. 404 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 2: Another question that we got from a chick was I'm 405 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 2: really depressed and seeking help. I just want a glow 406 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,399 Speaker 2: up overnight. And I wanted to get your thoughts on 407 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 2: this because I just thought this was so relatable, like 408 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 2: wanting to click your fingers and be like, I just 409 00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 2: want to fix this. 410 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 5: Can I fix it? 411 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 2: Oh? 412 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,280 Speaker 4: My god? Have I not been in that? I'm sure 413 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 4: you both have as well. I've been in that headspace 414 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 4: of being like is there a magic pill? Is there 415 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 4: like an exercise routine? Is there a diet? Is there 416 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 4: like a you know, furniture change, even like what in 417 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 4: my life needs to change? Therapy, hypnotherapy. I just think 418 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,440 Speaker 4: that it's a natural human tendency to want a very quick, 419 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 4: instant solution to a problem that's probably a lot deeper 420 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 4: and a lot more innate, because of course, we don't 421 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 4: want to be in pain, we don't want to be uncomfortable, 422 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 4: we don't want to be depressed. What I'll say about 423 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,440 Speaker 4: the instant glop is that let's just be completely straight. 424 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,159 Speaker 4: It's not going to happen, and maybe that's comforting so 425 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 4: that you don't every day wake up expecting for something 426 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 4: huge to change. It will be gradual. But the thing 427 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 4: about it being gradual is that it will stick, so 428 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 4: as you slowly build better habits, but then also better 429 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 4: mental hygiene skills. But then additionally have that you know 430 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 4: therapeutic safety as well, and maybe you start medication, you 431 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 4: get someone you really trust who can speak to you, 432 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 4: you go and see a psychiatrist. Like, all of those 433 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,679 Speaker 4: are little steps up to the glow up platform that 434 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 4: you're seeking. Yeah, it takes time. 435 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 5: You just said something there that piqued my interest. 436 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 1: What are mental hygiene tips that you can use to 437 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 1: have a glow up? Oh? 438 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 4: My god, I love mental hygiene. 439 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 5: I've never heard of this. 440 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 4: Okay, So mental hygiene is basically like you've got physical 441 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 4: hygiene right where you like, wash your. 442 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 1: Pits and you mix yep, exactly, my favorite. 443 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 4: You know you wash your face, you brush your teeth, 444 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 4: you wash your hair. You need to do that with 445 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 4: your brain as well. Okay, so for example, like you 446 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 4: need to I would say journal every now and again. 447 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 4: I like your biggest anxious thoughts or what you're overthinking about. 448 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,680 Speaker 4: You need to sit down and really think about how 449 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 4: you're doing in your life and where you want to 450 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,439 Speaker 4: be in six months. You need to go and do 451 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 4: something that's fulfilling and purposeful. Like, all of those are 452 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:58,639 Speaker 4: mental hygiene tips that keep I would say, like I 453 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 4: don't like the word clean, but keeps it fresh, keeps 454 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 4: your brain feeling fresh, keeps your perspective on life feeling fresh. 455 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,600 Speaker 4: It's a huge thing. 456 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 5: I think that's like so amazing. 457 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,879 Speaker 1: I've never heard that term before, and I feel like 458 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: that's a very large key, not the key in looking 459 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: at this. And if your mental load is feeling very heavy, 460 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 1: maybe you just need to do a load of washing 461 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 1: in your. 462 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,720 Speaker 4: Brain, in your brain, in your brain. I don't know, 463 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 4: if you guys have like an overflowing laundry bucket in. 464 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 5: Your house, shut up your fucking mouth. 465 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's your brain. Sometimes, like I can't deal with 466 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 4: this is to throw it on the path throw it 467 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,119 Speaker 4: on the path. Some of these are clean thoughts that 468 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 4: I need to bring back in. Some of these are 469 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 4: like absolutely, like. 470 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 5: I feel like I'm in therapy right now. 471 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 4: Oh my god. 472 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: Okay, So for this chick or for anybody who has 473 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,680 Speaker 1: listened to this and can relate to it, what's one 474 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: tip that somebody can do today to get started on 475 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,719 Speaker 1: that journey and begin their mental hygiene. 476 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, to get to get out of this depressive state. 477 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:58,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 478 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 2: Oh, like, if we just have to pick one thing 479 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 2: that'll kick start them on this journey. 480 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 4: The one thing that I would tell you to do 481 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 4: is to start keeping a toada list, toda a toda list. 482 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 4: So this is yeah, toda like this This was something 483 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 4: I found where it's like every day it's not going 484 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 4: to get better, but it will get like one percent better, 485 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,360 Speaker 4: and they'll be like one percent one more moment where 486 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,640 Speaker 4: you're like, oh, I'm not even focusing on this bad 487 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 4: thought or I'm more present. Start keeping a list of 488 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,199 Speaker 4: those moments and see how they begin to accumulate. Or 489 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 4: if you don't want to keep a list, just start 490 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 4: noticing them more. So I felt like the day, Yeah, 491 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 4: highlights of the day, or just be like, oh, I 492 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 4: just felt really good when I was like making dinner 493 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 4: and just start like capturing those points in your life 494 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 4: where you do feel better and start introducing more of 495 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,680 Speaker 4: them in So it felt really good when I went 496 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,399 Speaker 4: for a walk in the morning instead of just like 497 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 4: rolling over and watching TV. Maybe I should do that more. 498 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,160 Speaker 5: I love that. That's why we put in the rich 499 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,160 Speaker 5: in life planners. 500 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: We put the highlight of the day because like that's 501 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: something that you know, like is not a concept, but 502 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: every night when my family would sit down for dinner, 503 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 1: like even if you had the worst day, you had 504 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: to think of. 505 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,920 Speaker 5: A highlight of the day. Like it was a rule basically, and. 506 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: It does truly make you find like forcing yourself to 507 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 1: find something good about that day does relieve it. 508 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:21,719 Speaker 5: But I like the tadar list. Yeah, tadar List, that's sexy. 509 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 4: I have my smile file as well. 510 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 5: Yes, I love your small file. Can you explain that too. 511 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,400 Speaker 4: Yes, my smile file is like I have to find, 512 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 4: like deliberately try and find things in my day that 513 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 4: make me smile and like take photos of it, so 514 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 4: like it would just be stupid things like one of 515 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 4: my ones from like a couple days ago was like 516 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:42,960 Speaker 4: my blueberries. I had this punet of blueberries that when 517 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 4: I was in the office and it matched my like 518 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 4: denim jacket perfectly, and I was like, that's so cool. 519 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,160 Speaker 4: So it goes on my smile file. 520 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: You need to make like an Instagram account that's like 521 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: your smile file so I can follow it. 522 00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,040 Speaker 4: I post a lot of them on my main but 523 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 4: I need to I. 524 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 5: Blocked you on that side. Maybe I love it. 525 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 3: I'm so aesthetic, and then I love a smile file. 526 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: People looking to submit things from their smile file, like 527 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 1: the whole thing is like a smile file, the whole 528 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: also maybe like I also get if you want to 529 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: keep that for yourself too. 530 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,640 Speaker 4: I post them sometimes though. 531 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: We've spoken about this in our office quite often, and 532 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 1: it's that kind of end of year burnout that like September, October, November, 533 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 1: December vibe. We're like, everything just gets a little bit hectic, 534 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: and it gets and the burnout from the year is 535 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:34,120 Speaker 1: just so real. 536 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,120 Speaker 5: I think basically everyone we've all spoken. 537 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: To individually and together is all feeling just this weight 538 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: that You're like, I just want to get to the 539 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,320 Speaker 1: end of the year. So we'd love to know what 540 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 1: tips you have for kind of relieving the burnout. I 541 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,320 Speaker 1: think at this point it's not necessarily an avoiding situation, 542 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 1: it's it's a relieving burnout and also managing other people's 543 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:04,439 Speaker 1: expectations during this time, whether it's familial friendships, work, Like, 544 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 1: how can you help relieve burnout at this time of 545 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 1: the year. 546 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 4: Yeah. My biggest tip is to have an end date. 547 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 4: So have like a day where you're like, I stop 548 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 4: work on this day, this is my last day of work, 549 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,360 Speaker 4: and I will be putting my phone down. I will 550 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 4: not be accepting further shifts, Like have an end goal 551 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,199 Speaker 4: in sight. Yes, it just makes it a whole lot easier. Also, 552 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,159 Speaker 4: say no to fifty percent of things that come through 553 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 4: your door, even if it's difficult. You cannot go to 554 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 4: every Christmas party, you cannot do every single piece of work, 555 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 4: you cannot do every last minute Christmas shift or last 556 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,879 Speaker 4: minute Christmas hangout. Fifty percent of it is a no, 557 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 4: and of it can be yes, so that you're being 558 00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 4: more selective and then have like this is something I 559 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,720 Speaker 4: still do in my life now. It's like Friday afternoons 560 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 4: are like no work solo time where it's like not 561 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,120 Speaker 4: doing any work. I'm gonna go to the beach. I'm 562 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 4: going to go and do something really really fun. Maybe 563 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 4: I'll do chores, which is kind of lame, but like 564 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,879 Speaker 4: it's time just for me to just recenter because I 565 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 4: find that on the weekends it's not going to happen. 566 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 4: And obviously I have the luck of working for myself. 567 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 5: Well the privilege you've worked very hard, I'm able to 568 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:17,880 Speaker 5: do that. 569 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:18,920 Speaker 4: But yeah, just. 570 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 5: You're in like a situation where you can. 571 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: Like is a privileged situation, but I don't undermine your 572 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,399 Speaker 1: work that you've made to be able to achieve that. 573 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just it's a great circumstances. But you can 574 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 4: do it on a Sunday afternoon. I have a friend 575 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 4: who does that. Or it's like phone on D and 576 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:35,679 Speaker 4: D after one pm on a Sunday. 577 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 5: You're a Saturday morning early, aren't you. 578 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's when I like to get all my shit done. 579 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, if I would try to call it sown on 580 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 1: a Saturday morning, I've learned. 581 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 5: I've learned. 582 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 6: I think I learned this later the phones are not 583 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 6: on me into our. 584 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 1: Friendship that if I called you on a Saturday morning, 585 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,679 Speaker 1: I wouldn't get it and I would get the text 586 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: back in like the afternoon and you're like, what's up, Well, I. 587 00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 6: Get the close balls deep in washing. 588 00:26:59,280 --> 00:26:59,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 589 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 5: Yeah. 590 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: So we have one final submission from one of the 591 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 1: chicks that, again I think is extremely relatable and something 592 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,159 Speaker 1: that we actually have spoken with you about previously on 593 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 1: the show, and it says, I feel like I've lost. 594 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 5: My spark and I don't know how to be fun anymore. 595 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 5: I just feel so angry. 596 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,520 Speaker 1: And someone sent this in which, again I just think 597 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,200 Speaker 1: many of us can relate to it at some point 598 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: in time. So what's something that people can do if 599 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: they do relate to that, to help get their spark back? 600 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 4: Oh? And you're right, I relate to that so much. 601 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 4: I feel like I've lost my spark multiple times. But 602 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 4: my formula for getting it back is to move into 603 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 4: like a chapter of experimentation and a chapter of newness 604 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,399 Speaker 4: and novelty, because you kind of have to identify, like 605 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,360 Speaker 4: where where did my spark get lost? Did it get 606 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 4: lost in boredom? Did it get lost in a relationship, 607 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,639 Speaker 4: did it get lost in fatigue? Did it get lost 608 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 4: in anger and resentment? I think that the way out 609 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,159 Speaker 4: of all of those situations is to provide your brain 610 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,600 Speaker 4: and even your soul to an extent, to get philosophical 611 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,080 Speaker 4: with something new, something new, to enjoy, something new, to do, 612 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 4: something new, to take on, whether it's like going and 613 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,679 Speaker 4: doing like a six week seramic course, which you guys know, 614 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,560 Speaker 4: I love my ceramics course. I've been begging soal to 615 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 4: do one. Also really beyond novelty, also try and provide 616 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 4: yourself with a bit of rest. I think anger comes 617 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:31,600 Speaker 4: from expectation of in this situation, I'm just assuming, like 618 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,679 Speaker 4: of wanting to do it all, wanting the life that 619 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 4: maybe someone else has, feeling angry that you don't have that, 620 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 4: angry that you've been let down by someone, Angry that 621 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 4: you know other people who you don't think deserve it 622 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 4: have it and you don't. So I think, take a 623 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:53,080 Speaker 4: break from ruminating on all those negative assumptions and start 624 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 4: to pour all that energy back into your own life. 625 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 4: Make it a deliberate part of your day, a deliberate 626 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 4: part of your life. All that negative feeling. And I 627 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 4: don't like to say toxicity because I think it is 628 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,960 Speaker 4: just a natural feeling to sometimes be angry and resentful. 629 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 4: Take that, pour it into something else. It's actually like 630 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 4: this strategy called sublimation, where we take something quite negative 631 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 4: and we convert it into a creative endeavor, a positive endeavor, 632 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 4: something of that sort. Like that. 633 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: I also think one thing that I've seen you do 634 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,040 Speaker 1: that I feel like I just watch you sparkle. When 635 00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,719 Speaker 1: you do it is like prioritizing your inner child. 636 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 4: Oh fuck yeah, Like you love. 637 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: Your sunny angels and your jelly cats and like it's. 638 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 6: Just like you're like the little girl in you. 639 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,080 Speaker 1: Like that's when I see you be like really sparkly 640 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,479 Speaker 1: and giggly and silly. 641 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 4: How matching mugs? 642 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, get away you play with fashion as well? 643 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think like one something you could do 644 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 1: is ask your friends of like when when do I sparkle? 645 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 5: Like what am I doing? 646 00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 1: Like so like you would yours would be like music 647 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: for sure, Like that is when you get all sparkling, 648 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: being like a little fan girl with my element. But yeah, 649 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: like whatever, I feel like one thing, if you feel 650 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 1: like you've lost your sparkle, like what made you sparkle 651 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:13,920 Speaker 1: when you were. 652 00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 5: Little, is also something that you can do to find it? 653 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 5: And asking your friends, Yeah, if you feel lost, if 654 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 5: you feel. 655 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 2: Like you can't see that and you can't see how 656 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 2: you sparkle. Ask the people around you, because they can 657 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:26,920 Speaker 2: see it. 658 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, yours is talking about I'm trying to think about yours. 659 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 4: What do you think? I think when you talk about 660 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 4: when you have a sense of justice, fairness, or when 661 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 4: you're talking about people you care about. 662 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, my friends made me sparkle. 663 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, like around people that are that's my 664 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:41,840 Speaker 1: spark list. 665 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think so. 666 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: And I think also like for you justice you're really like. 667 00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 2: But I also think like you have a deep passion 668 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 2: for like books and film and being able to talk 669 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 2: about that and share that with people. You really shine 670 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 2: when you're doing that because you like, you want to 671 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 2: share that experience with someone else. Yeah, and you want 672 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 2: them to have that too. So even that, like all 673 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 2: of those things are so simple. One thing that I 674 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 2: did want to ask you, Jem, was what's your number 675 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 2: one mechanism or tip to deal with anxiety or panic attacks? Oh? 676 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 4: My god, not only one. 677 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 2: If we have to pick one thing that someone can 678 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 2: do one strategy, I know there's lots. 679 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 4: Okay, wait, can I do one for anxiety? One for panic? 680 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 3: Yes? 681 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 4: Okay, for anxiety. Try and convince yourself that what you're 682 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 4: feeling is excitement. So, for example, every I'm really terrified 683 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 4: of flying, but anytime I get incredibly anxious on a plane, 684 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 4: I'm like, Wow, I'm just really excited by this feeling. 685 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,120 Speaker 4: I'm excited by this feeling. This is excitement. I'm excited 686 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 4: about where I'm going. I'm excited about you know, how 687 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 4: brave I'm being. I'm excited by this. If you're anxious 688 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 4: about you know, going to going to a party or 689 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 4: a social situation you don't know anyone, be like, oh, 690 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 4: this is an anxiety. This is excitement. And I said 691 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 4: this to you the other day. It's like, when that 692 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 4: anxiety is quite as bubbling at the top, you can 693 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 4: easily take all those feelings and sensations and like turn 694 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 4: it around and throw it back and be like, actually, 695 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:10,120 Speaker 4: this is this. All these sensations are like operating in 696 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,480 Speaker 4: the exact same areas of my brain. 697 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 1: That say, does an anxiety and excitement come from the 698 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: same part of your brain? 699 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, because excitement is basically like alertness. Yeah, when you 700 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 4: feel excited, you're basically just alert, and you're alert and 701 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 4: you're like intrigued, And when you're anxious, it happens basically 702 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,120 Speaker 4: like within our kind of limbic system, old brain area. 703 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 4: It's the same thing. It's like, okay, I want to 704 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 4: pay attention. I want to be alert. I'm like both 705 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,720 Speaker 4: equally inquisitive and like quite you know, highly strung. But 706 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 4: think about like when you know, like you're about to 707 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,720 Speaker 4: walk into a surprise party, same feeling. My biggest tip 708 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,960 Speaker 4: if you are panicking, you're having a panic attack is 709 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 4: carry Warheads around with you. You know, the sour candy. Yeah, 710 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:56,200 Speaker 4: I love them, extra extreme sour ones. Put one in 711 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 4: your mouth, and immediately your brain is going to be like, 712 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 4: oh my god, wait can we just put that on 713 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 4: hold for a second. What the is that? Like that's 714 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,680 Speaker 4: sour feeling? And your brain is immediately like, okay, let's 715 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 4: just pay all this attention to that. Same with cold showers, 716 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 4: same with like basically shocking your system. It was like 717 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 4: I was going through a real panicky episode and I 718 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 4: always had war Heads in my bag. I love the best. 719 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,880 Speaker 1: My face is like just thinking about it, Oh don't 720 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 1: my tongues. 721 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,600 Speaker 4: She'd be like, I love it. I love it. 722 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's such a good tiar I love that. I 723 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:43,560 Speaker 3: put some links to buy some more heads Okay, Well, 724 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 3: to wrap up our episode with you, what has been 725 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 3: your biggest life lesson on your journey so far. 726 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 4: Sometimes it's not happening to you, it's happening for you. 727 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 4: Like every time I've been like this was just such 728 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 4: a huge disappointment. All this was just like so awful 729 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 4: that this happened to me, It's always made me better 730 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 4: And in like two, three, sometimes five years time, I've 731 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,239 Speaker 4: looked back and been like, oh wow, I can see 732 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 4: the string between Yes, that moment and this moment all 733 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:14,200 Speaker 4: wrapped up into one. 734 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: So that's my favorite thing at the moment. It's my 735 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 1: hyper fixation on like every string. Yeah, it's like every 736 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,560 Speaker 1: bad thing that has ever happened to you is also 737 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 1: why every good thing has happened to you. I Yeah, 738 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 1: that's I think I've said it like seventy two times 739 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:29,360 Speaker 1: this month. 740 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,920 Speaker 4: I love that so much. 741 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: But for anyone who is struggling with their mental health, 742 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 1: where are some resources that people can go for help? 743 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 4: I always recommend Beyond Blue because I think they just 744 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 4: have an amazing list of like where you can find 745 00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 4: help everywhere. Black Dog Institute also has like some great 746 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:51,919 Speaker 4: resources if you're like experiencing just stress right now, call 747 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 4: your local mental health crisis sign they are spectacular or 748 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,399 Speaker 4: they do all days, get you into services that you need, 749 00:34:58,920 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 4: or obviously call life. 750 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 1: Yeah. 751 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,280 Speaker 2: We'll put like links in contacts in the show notes. 752 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,640 Speaker 2: And I also do think like, if you're dealing with something, 753 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,160 Speaker 2: go talk to your GP, yeah, and see if you 754 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 2: can potentially chat about like your options there or getting 755 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 2: onto a mental health plan and start the conversation. I 756 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 2: think making that first appointment is the hardest part, so 757 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:21,080 Speaker 2: it's priceless though. 758 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,800 Speaker 4: Also, if you can afford to pay for your GP, 759 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,800 Speaker 4: I would really recommend it. If you can afford to 760 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 4: get like a really good GP who you'll end up 761 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,279 Speaker 4: seeing for a long time, you should do so. Mental 762 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:33,560 Speaker 4: health is something that you struggle with. 763 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:39,560 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us Drop, thanks for 764 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: having holes chicks. 765 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,480 Speaker 2: We love to be here, and then you do. M 766 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,200 Speaker 2: Ik made for making today's episode two Broke Chicks Happen. 767 00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 3: You buy Chicks, take care of yourself by I guess play. 768 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,520 Speaker 4: Bye Jim, Bye 769 00:35:55,120 --> 00:36:03,480 Speaker 1: Bye hes past m