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Speaker 1: The biggest thing is I always remind myself of two

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Speaker 1: things when I'm really struggling. What does Sam want to

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Speaker 1: do and what I'm now not changing in my life.

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Speaker 1: I'm choosing. Hi, guys, I have a special guest on

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Speaker 1: today's episode, Blake. Welcome to Hot of Them Yesterday.

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Speaker 2: Darling, Oh my god, I've missed you so much.

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Speaker 1: We've just had a little catch up about everything, and

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Speaker 1: it's so weird seeing your face and like every like

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm back in the studio. I really

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm back in the studio, I know.

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Speaker 2: But like we've touched on everything, but we haven't gone

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Speaker 2: in we need to go.

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Speaker 1: Into the law. But like we like Blake's double parked

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Speaker 1: at the moment, he's having a drink for me because

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Speaker 1: it is Friday morning for me, so it's Fridayriday night

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Speaker 1: for me, and we're just gonna jump straight into today's

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Speaker 1: episode catch up with you guys. I feel like Blake's

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Speaker 1: got some good questions that maybe you guys might want

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Speaker 1: to know from me that he could maybe ask because

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to speak about or tell you guys.

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Speaker 2: Girl, Like we're gonna have to cut some of these

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Speaker 2: out because there are so many like elements of your

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Speaker 2: life that like we have not even touched a surface

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Speaker 2: on well you see.

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Speaker 1: But also you're my close friends, so you really know

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Speaker 1: the law. I've wished I could post some of the

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Speaker 1: stuff on my c like that, like one of my

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Speaker 1: close friends on like my story. But I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: privacy is perfect.

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Speaker 2: It's good to maintain that. But I don't think you're

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Speaker 2: dancing drunk ones are that bad, so if they ever

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Speaker 2: accidentally go up one day, I would not be a poser.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just like silly when I'm drunk and in

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Speaker 1: my close friends like the law's crazy. Like but then

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Speaker 1: I like post that on my TikTok, like me putting

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Speaker 1: smashing the plate on my head, like yeah, I had

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Speaker 1: a cut on my head the next day. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure if you guys saw that TikTok, but we went

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Speaker 1: to this place called Opera, which is like a Greek restaurant,

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Speaker 1: and they smashed plates and everything in the restaurant and

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Speaker 1: then they yell opper. I thought it was a good

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Speaker 1: idea to put one over my head, stunning. Yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was really good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, great instinct to have.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but then I woke up the next morning not

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Speaker 1: understanding why my head was pounding.

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Speaker 2: Looked through my and you've always had a really good

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Speaker 2: relationship with anxiety.

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Speaker 1: Hey, yeah, it's actually not been that bad here though,

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Speaker 1: because I love that no one like not thinking that

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Speaker 1: I'm like some big name, but no one really knows

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Speaker 1: me here. I'm just like an Australian girl. Or like

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Speaker 1: you go to Saint Tropez and there's like billionaires and

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Speaker 1: everything like that. I'm so irrelevant that it's like I

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Speaker 1: can be an idiot and every well no.

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Speaker 2: No, not to mention, like you're being an idiot in London,

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Speaker 2: you know somewhere far more international touristy. You're getting drunk

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Speaker 2: in Australia. You've got to answer to your twenty friends

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Speaker 2: you are out with the next day. No thanks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and especially because if I go out then I

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Speaker 1: wake up at like ten to eleven London time. Everyone's

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Speaker 1: having dinner and going to bed, so I don't have

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Speaker 1: to speak to anyone all day.

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Speaker 2: It's so good, perfect.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the time difference is low key a blessing.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes it's been really good for us. Yeah, like I

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Speaker 2: will I will wake up and you'll have things done

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Speaker 2: for me. We have a little catch up way afternoons.

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Speaker 1: It's so good because they'll send me a butt like

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Speaker 1: I'll have emails and everything sent through, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I know, I have twelve hours to complete this for

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Speaker 1: it to be in your inbox tomorrow. So I'm not stressed.

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Speaker 2: I just feel really bad when you're waking up and

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Speaker 2: I've sent you like a bullet list of like twelve items.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, love you, sorry that that.

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Speaker 1: Is stressful because I like going for my morning walk,

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Speaker 1: grabbing a macha, like having everything like that, and I

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Speaker 1: actually can't because I'm like, oh my god, there are

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Speaker 1: so many notifications right now, like I can't, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not complaining. I'm honestly not complaining.

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Speaker 2: No, so getting into London. So we have been speaking

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Speaker 2: the whole time. Yeah, but I feel like there was

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Speaker 2: a period where I had no idea where you were.

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Speaker 2: It was Abitha, Spain, there was Turkey and that happened before.

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Speaker 2: It just there were too many locations for me to

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Speaker 2: actually register it to save me through like take me

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Speaker 2: through your quick quick fire travels and like how you're

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Speaker 2: finding settling in back home because I didn't know you're moving.

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Speaker 1: So July I kind of like reserved the whole of

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Speaker 1: July as like my euro summer vibe, because I knew

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Speaker 1: that everyone was going to be there, so many Aussies

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Speaker 1: were going to be there, so I was like, I'll

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Speaker 1: do my traveling in July. But I had only planned

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Speaker 1: Ibetha with Lucia, the girl who owns with Harpolou, and

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Speaker 1: she had like one of her friend's birthdays and they

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Speaker 1: had a big villa and I was like, yeah, I'd

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Speaker 1: love to come. I only had that planned. I went

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Speaker 1: to Paris at the end of June quickly with for

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Speaker 1: a few days, and within coming home I had had

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Speaker 1: Greece booked and so I went to Greece. I was

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Speaker 1: meant to go to Greece for three days, ended up

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Speaker 1: being there for six days extended. It had the best time,

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Speaker 1: Micknos so much fun, low key trauma, Blake, you would

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Speaker 1: have the best time there, like you would.

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Speaker 2: Have such you know, Greece is my dream, Like it's

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Speaker 2: the number one on my list of.

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Speaker 1: All lists, and I can like, you need to go.

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Speaker 1: It is absolutely amazing. It's my favorite place. Went to Greece,

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Speaker 1: came home three days in London, had an event with

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Speaker 1: Fox had work a few things work here, then went

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Speaker 1: to Turkey for was meant to go to Turkey for

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Speaker 1: two days, went for five or six so much fun,

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Speaker 1: and then came home from Turkey. Was like in London

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Speaker 1: for maybe five days, No, yeah, five days. Then went

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Speaker 1: to Abitha to meet up with Lusha. Abtha was really interesting.

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Speaker 1: Everyone says it's like the party place and like YadA, YadA, YadA.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we did it well. I think my

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Speaker 1: biggest thing is like when you're going to those places,

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Speaker 1: you need to be prepared to spend. You need to

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Speaker 1: have that money, and like you just got to spend

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Speaker 1: it else you're not gonna have a good night. Trying

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Speaker 1: to like find places to go on a budget. And

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Speaker 1: like I'm obviously saying that from a really blessed position.

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Speaker 1: I know not a lot of people, like a lot

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Speaker 1: of people can't do Europe on a budget. But when

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Speaker 1: you want to go to like those big tourist attractions

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Speaker 1: like Abetha, like Mikinos, like they're so expensive and you

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Speaker 1: can't avoid it, like a ticket to go into this

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Speaker 1: place called High. You know that song that's like get

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Speaker 1: the fuck up, We're going to High.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, yesh.

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Speaker 1: So that's a club in Abetha and it's like the biggest,

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Speaker 1: one of the biggest clubs in the world. It is huge, blake,

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Speaker 1: like absolutely huge sardines in there. You could barely move.

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Speaker 1: I was sweating bullets. There was no like no room

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Speaker 1: to move. We were so lucky that one of our

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Speaker 1: friends is Dom Dollar's manager and he was performing that night,

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Speaker 1: so we got tickets for that and we're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we'll go. Thank God. I would not have paid to

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Speaker 1: go to high It was one hundred and fifty euro

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Speaker 1: so about three hundred and fifty dollars to walk in,

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Speaker 1: just like general admission sardines. You cannot move. I think

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Speaker 1: I saw four people vomit. Everyone was sweating. Everyone's stank like.

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Speaker 1: We ended up leaving and it was just like not

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Speaker 1: a vibe. So I didn't love Abitha. But I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I did it right or I did it wrong.

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Speaker 1: It was giving surface paradise schoolies, oh no, yeah, but

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Speaker 1: everybody else that I've spoken to loved Ibetha.

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Speaker 2: I think for your and I haven't been just prefacing,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like for you to enjoy it, you

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Speaker 2: can't be in a position for yourself to remember being

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Speaker 2: there from what I've heard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was sober, So I went for three days.

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Speaker 1: I got really drunk on the first day, but for

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Speaker 1: the rest of the time I went sober, which, like

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Speaker 1: again probably why I didn't like it. But it was

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Speaker 1: so overwhelming in there, and like drinks a fifty euro

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Speaker 1: so like one hundred dollars for a vocal I'm soda

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Speaker 1: like and I was like, I'm gonna have to keep

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Speaker 1: on going up there to get drunk, like it was

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Speaker 1: just like it just is like I couldn't be drunk.

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Speaker 2: And random question is is the alcohol different there, Like

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Speaker 2: do you feel you're more susceptible to getting drunk or

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Speaker 2: you actually have to drink more over there?

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Speaker 1: I Betha. They were free pouring and it wasn't a

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Speaker 1: full shot, but London everything's free poor You'll be obliterated

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Speaker 1: within three drinks.

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Speaker 2: Oh I love it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really strong. It's really strong. But there's a

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Speaker 1: nice part of our Abetha, like a really like boutique

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Speaker 1: resortie part which I want to go. And I think

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Speaker 1: I came to the conclusion in Abetha that I don't

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Speaker 1: like clubs. I don't like clubs. I like beach clubs,

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Speaker 1: and I like like beach bars that kind of turn

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Speaker 1: into a little party with a bit of R and B,

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Speaker 1: a bit of house like kind of dancing. But I

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Speaker 1: don't like pitch black clubs with big smokes, with big lights,

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Speaker 1: everything like that that over stems central and I don't

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Speaker 1: like them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it would be a whole different ballpark over there.

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Speaker 2: Like in Melbourne, you probably know half the people in

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Speaker 2: that room, Abitha no one.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's also probably that stuff just

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Speaker 1: doesn't do Like I've come to the conclusion that I

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Speaker 1: can't do that stuff with my anxiety. And that's why

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Speaker 1: I like like Micke Noss because like you can party

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Speaker 1: during the day with like at a restaurant, you're having

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Speaker 1: a lovely lunch, a few cocktails. The vibes are good,

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Speaker 1: Like you can sit down, you can speak to people,

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Speaker 1: you can move around, you can have a dance. In clubs,

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Speaker 1: you can't do that, and I'm not about that. I've

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Speaker 1: come I've come to that conclusion.

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Speaker 2: I think bars are just like the perfect medium, and

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Speaker 2: I also want space on the dance. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be sharing a dance flow with a rude

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Speaker 2: and I'm.

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Speaker 1: Five to two, babe. I as soon as you put

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Speaker 1: your hands up, your fucking stinky arm pits are right

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Speaker 1: where my head is.

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Speaker 2: Disgusting, poor dough. I didn't even think of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's feral, like it's not good. And then we

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Speaker 1: went to Majorca. From there, again, we did Mayoca completely wrong.

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Speaker 1: I definitely recommend if you're doing like Spain, really researched,

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Speaker 1: like we didn't research on TikTok, and we ended up

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Speaker 1: staying in Palma, which again was like kind of giving

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Speaker 1: Bali vibes, which is fine, but there's such beautiful parts

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Speaker 1: of Majorca that were like forty five minutes away and

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Speaker 1: you need to get a car if you're in Majorca.

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Speaker 1: So we kind of fucked that up, but again we

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Speaker 1: learned from the next time. It was just a learning thing.

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Speaker 1: We kind of used it as like a recovery, which

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Speaker 1: laid by the pool, had some nice food, like it

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Speaker 1: was so chill. And then from Majorca I flew to Monaco,

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Speaker 1: which is insane.

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Speaker 2: I'm very geographically challenged. I went kind of blank faced

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Speaker 2: when you started talking about it. I was like, wait,

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Speaker 2: which country is that it?

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Speaker 1: So Monico is its own country, but it's in France technically,

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Speaker 1: but you have to fly from Nice and like so

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Speaker 1: much money there that like a taxi, there's no toyotas,

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Speaker 1: there's no high on dis every taxis and Mercedes and

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Speaker 1: like the boats and everything was there was just like insanity,

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Speaker 1: Like I was like jaw was on the floor the

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Speaker 1: whole time in Monaco.

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Speaker 2: Was that like more populated or a.

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Speaker 1: Monico is really really quite quiet because you have to

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Speaker 1: be so rich, like every person you're sitting next to

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Speaker 1: you or every person you walk by are millionaires because

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Speaker 1: you can't go there without money.

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Speaker 2: So it would be a great place to sit solo

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Speaker 2: at a bar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but like that's why, like there's a big there's

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Speaker 1: a big talk and Ali, I've met a lot of

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Speaker 1: people that live in Europe. There's a big understanding that

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Speaker 1: like if there's a group of girls that are in

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Speaker 1: Saint Trupe or like Monaco, and like I'm eating my

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Speaker 1: words because I obviously just went there. Like majority of

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Speaker 1: the time they've been flown there by men to be

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Speaker 1: like a lot of crypto men and stuff work there

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Speaker 1: and live there because Monico is a tax free country.

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Speaker 1: You don't pay tax, right, they're getting there to look

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Speaker 1: good with like young women.

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Speaker 2: Just a bit of a rich rich man thing.

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Speaker 1: It is. It's a very big thing in Europe to

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Speaker 1: be seen, which is not a thing in Australia that

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Speaker 1: I've really just like that's the biggest like comparison and

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Speaker 1: contrast that I've known. Is like a lot of people

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Speaker 1: like to be seen in Europe, do you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And it would not be like that here.

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Speaker 2: And I was going to say to you, it's so

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Speaker 2: funny that we're like decoding like all the scenes in

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Speaker 2: Australia and the locations and you fly to the other

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Speaker 2: side of the world and like it's just so so different.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Because then I speak to like people who live

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Speaker 1: in Europe, like we then went to Saint Trope from

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Speaker 1: Monaco and I was at for lunch with these people

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Speaker 1: that live in Saint trapey like they have a house there,

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Speaker 1: and he was like, I think I'd love Australia. I

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Speaker 1: was like no, I was like, you party in Saint Trupe.

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Speaker 1: You will never party like this in Australia. And then

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Speaker 1: they talk about how they he was like speaking this

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Speaker 1: man was like speaking about how he was like a

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Speaker 1: bachelor he's like a full bachelor and he was like.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, but like don't you want kids?

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Speaker 1: And he was like, yeah, I really want kids. I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, you have to have a wife to

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Speaker 1: have kids. He goes, no, they're two separate things. I

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Speaker 1: was like, that's so taped. I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: my parents have been married for like thirty five years.

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Speaker 1: And he was like, has your dad ever had a Eurosummer?

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Speaker 1: I was like with my mom. He goes, yeah, your

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Speaker 1: dad goes to a Eurosummer, he'll come back without a wife.

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Speaker 1: I was like, don't say that about my father, Oh.

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Speaker 2: My mom, And what a fucking reflex question. How dare you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I was like, dad, you're never going on to

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Speaker 1: euro Summer. My boyfriend, you'll never go to Eurosummer.

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Speaker 2: No one's leaving outsides. And I found out a bit

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Speaker 2: before the audience because I added this podcast. But I'm

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Speaker 2: just you know, having a good old day editing along.

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Speaker 2: I hear you found a man.

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Speaker 1: I have maybe maybe just a little bit, but again,

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Speaker 1: I think I said it in my last podcast, like

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Speaker 1: I'm really going to try to keep it private and

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Speaker 1: like just really suss the vibe and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to get any backlash, and I just know that I will,

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Speaker 1: so I'm happy. I'm closed off to meeting people. So

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Speaker 1: I can't report on any dates and stuff that I

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Speaker 1: go on in London and stuff like that because I

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Speaker 1: haven't gone.

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Speaker 2: On any Well we'll leave that there for now. I

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Speaker 2: think that's a show.

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Speaker 1: I really wish I could, but I'm just like Sam,

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Speaker 1: keep it private, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know it might start this way. It

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Speaker 2: could change in the future, but this is how it

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Speaker 2: is for now. Yeah, would you say it's a bit

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Speaker 2: of a dilemma.

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Speaker 1: It is a little bit of a dilemma because we

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Speaker 1: obviously might have to do long distance at one point.

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Speaker 1: So that is why today's episode, we're going to do

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Speaker 1: your dilemmas. I can maybe talk through a few of

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Speaker 1: mine that I'm coming across while I'm over here. I've

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Speaker 1: just explained the long distance, maybe the time difference, a

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Speaker 1: few of those things, and I feel like I'm ready

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Speaker 1: to give some advice and have a girly chat.

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Speaker 2: Well, we haven't done it on Hotter Than We haven't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we haven't. And it's a classic.

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Speaker 2: It's a favorite, and funnily enough, you opened our question

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Speaker 2: box yesterday my inboxes has been flooded and I've actually

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Speaker 2: I've been trying to get through my emails today. But

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Speaker 2: that's okay. We need to make this podcast it. So

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Speaker 2: we thought I'll read this out for us. Yes, you respond,

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Speaker 2: I might help, but should we get into it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yes, please, let's get straight into it.

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Speaker 2: All right. So I'm going to start with this one

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Speaker 2: number one. I came out to my dad earlier this

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Speaker 2: year and he kind of just went cold, like he

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Speaker 2: didn't yell or anything. But he doesn't ask about my

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Speaker 2: life anymore, especially when it comes to dating or my friends.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm grieving a relationship I thought we had.

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Speaker 2: Mum said that he'll come around, but it doesn't feel

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Speaker 2: like it. I'm finding myself regretting telling him, or how

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Speaker 2: can I keep being proud of my decision when it

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Speaker 2: feels like I'm losing one of the most important people

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Speaker 2: in my life. That's so sad.

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Speaker 1: Wait, you're going to make me cry. I feel like

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Speaker 1: blake as well. This is probably something that you could

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Speaker 1: really help people with. Is it a girl or is

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Speaker 1: it a guy?

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Speaker 2: It's a girl.

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Speaker 1: I obviously have never been put in that position that

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Speaker 1: I need to come out to my parents. I don't

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Speaker 1: think it should be something that you need to do.

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Speaker 1: I don't come out to my parents that I'm straight.

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Speaker 1: And I think over time, especially in the generation when

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Speaker 1: we have kids, it won't be such a big thing

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Speaker 1: because it will be more normalized to not just have

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Speaker 1: male and male and female relationships. Would you agree?

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Speaker 2: You're one hundred percent right? And like that's something I

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Speaker 2: really struggled with with coming out, and like, I've actually

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Speaker 2: looked at this question and I don't really talk about

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Speaker 2: it to people, but I'm like, I tell enough people

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Speaker 2: in nightclubs that I should be actually comfortable helping someone

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Speaker 2: with this. I haven't even told you this, Sam, but

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Speaker 2: I actually I've been with my boyfriend for four years,

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Speaker 2: but me and my dad have never officially had the

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Speaker 2: conversation that I have a boyfriend. Yeah right, my dad

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Speaker 2: knows him. They've got met so many times. My dad

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Speaker 2: asks about him, Like, I actually think he knows that

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Speaker 2: we're together. But it's just something we haven't been comfortable

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Speaker 2: enough talking about. And I know that's not everyone's situation,

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Speaker 2: and like I really should just tap up and have

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Speaker 2: the conversation, but it is a bit uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Of course, and you do avoid naturally in life, avoiding

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Speaker 1: those really difficult and awkward conversations because you know that

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Speaker 1: you're both sitting there uncomfortably. But yeah, it doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to be a big thing. And I think in your head, obviously,

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Speaker 1: it feels like such a big part of your life

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Speaker 1: that you've opened up to and all you want is

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Speaker 1: someone to accept you. And I'm not justifying your father,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not justifying his actions, but from where he's

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Speaker 1: probably grown up and the way he's probably grown up

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Speaker 1: in his society, that is a shock culturally could be

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Speaker 1: to him that it's like, it's not that he doesn't

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Speaker 1: accept you, it's just a different way that he has

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Speaker 1: then pictured your life being. And I think that sometimes

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Speaker 1: parents really struggle with that, Like if I can put

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Speaker 1: in an example of mine, of like my parents really

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Speaker 1: struggled at the fact that I dropped out of university

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Speaker 1: because they saw my life going differently for me, they

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Speaker 1: saw me doing different things, not necessarily that they were

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Speaker 1: disappointed in me, but they struggled coming to terms with

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Speaker 1: it because they saw their daughter's life differently. And I

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Speaker 1: don't think that he doesn't love you any less. And

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Speaker 1: I actually I know he won't love you any less,

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Speaker 1: but it's just he probably can't comprehend it because he

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Speaker 1: hasn't seen it. And like maybe like your father, maybe

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Speaker 1: it might take you to get your first girlfriend for

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Speaker 1: him to kind of understand it and maybe realize that,

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Speaker 1: like she's happy, she's fine, she feels loved, And I

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Speaker 1: think at the end of the day, only thing the

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Speaker 1: parents want is to feel love and to feel their

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Speaker 1: daughter to feel love and appreciated. It just might take

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Speaker 1: him time, and it might take actual physical seeing it

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Speaker 1: physically for him to understand that. And I don't think

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Speaker 1: that you need to grieve the relationship that you once had.

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Speaker 1: Your relationships just going to look different to what you

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Speaker 1: thought it was. Does that make sense.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just going to evolve. And I think something

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Speaker 2: I was going to say as well is like even

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Speaker 2: think of when we were younger in school, like so

393
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Speaker 2: many things got thrown out like that's so gay, and

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Speaker 2: like so many words like that. Imagine that for our

395
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Speaker 2: parents when it was like it was very frowned uposa.

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Speaker 2: It was such a different world back then. And I'm

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Speaker 2: not making excuses as we're saying before.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just like there's a difficult thing where

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Speaker 1: it's like you're not trying to make excuses for them,

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Speaker 1: but you're just trying to provide context and from someone

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Speaker 1: from the outside of like you and I. I, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm not justifying his actions. But all you want is

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Speaker 1: your father's love. But you have to understand that, like

404
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Speaker 1: they didn't grow up with the knowledge that we had now,

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Speaker 1: And he'll come around. He'll love you no matter what,

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Speaker 1: and he does love you no matter.

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Speaker 2: What he does. And I also think parents like have

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Speaker 2: this security blanket that they will just envisage a life

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Speaker 2: for their kids. And I don't think they're seeing it

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Speaker 2: as a bad thing at all. You know, they thought

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Speaker 2: maybe you were straight. They thought you're gonna end up

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Speaker 2: with the guy. Now you're with the girl. I think

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Speaker 2: that it's like, oh, our view is different now and

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Speaker 2: maybe we've got things wrong. And parents like to know everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: so they're probably like, how the fuck did I get

416
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Speaker 2: this wrong? Yeah, it could be that's everything else but

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Speaker 2: your sexuality.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think as well, we put so much pressure

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Speaker 1: on our parents and we look up to our parents

420
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Speaker 1: and be like, well, you have to do everything right.

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Speaker 1: And I think maybe in a few years he might

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Speaker 1: come around, and he probably will be like, I'm so

423
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Speaker 1: sorry I didn't do that right and everything like that.

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Speaker 1: It's their first time at life too. They don't know

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Speaker 1: what they're doing. Like I just say, my parents are

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Speaker 1: like a premium adults, like do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like they've got a premium subscription at life, but sometimes

428
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Speaker 1: the premium fucks up, do you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 1: it's their first time in life too. He's probably gonna

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Speaker 1: look back and he probably doesn't like the way that

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Speaker 1: he's acting either. He's not proud of it. He's not things.

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Speaker 1: So I just think both of you need to give

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Speaker 1: each other a little bit of grace.

434
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 2: But you're gonna be okay. Don't regret. Don't regret telling

435
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 2: him he is so proud, Yeah, and gets so excited

436
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,120
Speaker 2: about finally owning this new chapter of your life.

437
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,400
Speaker 1: So exciting who.

438
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 2: You are, it's incredible, So sad to definitely never feel

439
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 2: regret for that, and.

440
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 1: Also maybe what you could try. And again, I haven't

441
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: been put in this situation, so this could be such

442
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,360
Speaker 1: bad advice. And Blake, tell me if this is such

443
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: bad advice, normalize talking about it, like, normalize it. Don't

444
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,399
Speaker 1: be like, oh, my god, Dad, I just want to

445
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 1: let you know I kissed a girl last night, being like,

446
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 1: met this girl. She's such a vibe and like normalize

447
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 1: the conversation and just like keep it really casual. So

448
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 1: then he gets used to just hearing that stuff. He

449
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 1: needs like a bit of exposure therapy, do you know

450
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,640
Speaker 1: what I mean? But if he can see that you're

451
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 1: hesitant about it and you're resistant about it, then going

452
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 1: to match that energy.

453
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: I so agree. And think of all the times our

454
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 2: parents have put us through uncomfortable conversations that will talk

455
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 2: about their bloody sex life or something like give it

456
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 2: back to them.

457
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's going to normalize it.

458
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 2: That's actually yeah, and it's a really justful way to

459
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 2: you know, just open the door. But it's so going

460
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: to be fine. I can promise you.

461
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 1: T two percent. I have full faith that it will

462
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:22,439
Speaker 1: come around.

463
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 2: Okay, so our next one it starts. So here's the team.

464
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 2: I've been seeing this guy for eight months. We're not official,

465
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 2: but we basically do everything a couple does it Like,

466
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 2: we spend full weekends together. I know his family. We've

467
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 2: even gone grocery shopping together and had deep convos about

468
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: the future. But if someone asks him if he has

469
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 2: a girlfriend, I know he would say no. Every time

470
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,159
Speaker 2: I bring up where this is going, he says something

471
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 2: like I really like you, I'm just not ready for

472
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 2: a relationship, or let's just not ruin what we have.

473
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 2: And I fall for it every time because I do

474
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 2: care about him, and I don't want to seem like

475
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 2: I'm being too much. My friends are all like, baby,

476
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 2: you're being emotionally breadcrafted, and honestly they're probably right, yes,

477
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 2: but part of me feels like if I leave, I'll

478
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 2: just be sad and miss him and regret it. And

479
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,919
Speaker 2: also I hate the idea of starting over again with

480
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 2: someone new. Is there ever a version of this where

481
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 2: it does turn into something real? Or am I just

482
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 2: dragging out the inevitable because I'm too scared to be alone?

483
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold you. How don when I say this,

484
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,160
Speaker 1: you're dragging out the inevitable, Babe. You first of all

485
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: don't want to be with someone who's not emotionally ready

486
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: to commit. So the fact that it has been eight

487
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:37,239
Speaker 1: months people say they love you after eight months. I

488
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 1: put that into context. He doesn't like you enough for you.

489
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:45,199
Speaker 1: This is so brutal. He doesn't like you enough to

490
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 1: want him be his girlfriend. He likes all of the

491
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: additives and everything of having a girlfriend without having to commit,

492
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: which is such a red flag and it's fucking disgusting

493
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry that you've been put in that position.

494
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 1: But like, if a guy wants to you off the radar,

495
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: a guy will make you his girlfriend. They're simple creatures.

496
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 1: They're so simple. Yeah, like so simple. So you just

497
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: need to put your boundaries down because the fact that

498
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: you're accepting this behavior means he's not going to change

499
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 1: if you put your foot down and be like, I

500
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,119
Speaker 1: deserve more than that. It was kind of like princess treatment.

501
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: But first bare minimum last week when I said, I said,

502
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 1: you have to set a boundary and you have to

503
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 1: tell them how you want to be treated. If they're

504
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 1: treating you a certain way, and you're allowing that they're

505
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 1: gonna be bare minimum and you've accepted that, you've accepted

506
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: the let de low, and he's now not going to

507
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: need to change or fight because you're accepting his behavior.

508
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just remember there's two in a partnership, so like, yes,

509
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 2: you maybe adore him, but you need that back as well.

510
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 2: And I'm sure he actually does adore you too. He

511
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 2: obviously hasn't, you know, stopped spending time with you. I

512
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 2: think he wants to spend time with you as much

513
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 2: as you do with him. I think it's such a

514
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 2: cop out the I'm just not ready for a relationship.

515
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 2: I think throw it back at him and be like, well,

516
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: what is this because it seems like a relationship right now. Yeah, like,

517
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 2: actually put it back in.

518
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 1: Don't do any girlfriend's stuff if you don't have the

519
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 1: girlfriend title, babe, period, you don't. If you are making

520
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: me and breakfast, fucking stop that. If you're meeting him

521
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 1: after work, if you're making his lunches, stop it right now. Okay,

522
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 1: it may be a little bit of a game, but

523
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: you've just got to completely step back, completely, strip everything

524
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: that you've been doing away from him, stop being the

525
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,679
Speaker 1: one to ask him to hang out and everything, and

526
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 1: see how he reacts, and then if he brings it up,

527
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 1: you literally just have to go, well, you didn't want

528
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 1: a girlfriend, so I'm not going to be I'm not

529
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 1: going to act like a girlfriend.

530
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:45,760
Speaker 2: Perfect.

531
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,959
Speaker 1: That's all you need to do, and then see how

532
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: he reacts and if he's like, okay, then You've got

533
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 1: your answer, and you need to stay strong on that

534
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: and walk away, or it's going to give him the

535
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: biggest wake up call for him to get his shit

536
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,959
Speaker 1: together and treat you how you should be treated.

537
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 2: And Darrel, he'll stumble so bad.

538
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yeah, give it three weeks. If that happens,

539
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 1: he'd be running back into those DMS running, I'll.

540
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 2: Say three days. Really, she knows her family. Yeah, but

541
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 2: this is insane for me.

542
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: Men sometimes take some time.

543
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:23,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, good point, good point, slow creatures, but we love

544
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,679
Speaker 2: an updates, so please come back. Yeah, let us know

545
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: what does divulge. But you got this all right? So

546
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 2: our next one hit me. So I'm doing law at UNI.

547
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 2: I'm living on campus in a city much better than

548
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 2: where I grew up, and I'm literally ticking all the

549
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 2: boxes people expected me. I've settled in, I've made friends,

550
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: and my parents are constantly telling me and the whole

551
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 2: extended family how proud they are. But the truth is,

552
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 2: I hate it. I'm completely burnt out. I cry at

553
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: least once a day and feel like I'm pretending to

554
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 2: be a version of myself that doesn't actually exist. I

555
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,119
Speaker 2: don't even know if I want to be a lawyer.

556
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 2: I chose this path because it sounded impressive and stable,

557
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 2: not because I'm passionate about it. My mental health is

558
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 2: getting worse and I've started dreading waking up. I used

559
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,479
Speaker 2: to love learning, and now it just feels like I'm

560
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 2: drowning in pressure. But I feel so stuck because I'm

561
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 2: the girl that made it out from my high school.

562
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 2: Like if I quit, people say I've wasted my potential

563
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 2: or gave up. How do I even begin to tell

564
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 2: people that the thing they're most proud of is the

565
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 2: thing that's destroying me. And what if I leave and

566
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 2: regret it, That's going to.

567
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,879
Speaker 1: Make me cry. That's going to make me cry so bad.

568
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 1: I want you to, first of all, stop putting so

569
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:38,040
Speaker 1: much pressure on yourself, because I agreed it's life is

570
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 1: not meant to be that serious. And I know I'm

571
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 1: in a very lucky position that I can jet to

572
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 1: holiday and leave my life. But there was a point

573
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 1: in my life where I couldn't do that, and I

574
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: was choosing misery, like I was choosing that because it's

575
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 1: what everybody else wanted me to do. And I remember

576
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: one day my parents always go like, we're so proud

577
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 1: of you and everything like that. I got a really

578
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: good atar. I went to UNI and I hated it.

579
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 1: I hated it, but it was what everybody else and

580
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 1: what society thought I should be doing. And I hated

581
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 1: my life. I was so miserable. But yeah, contextually, like

582
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: on paper, I had a perfect life, like I was

583
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: doing everything that I should have been doing, but it

584
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 1: wasn't making me happy and it wasn't making me whole.

585
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: And I remember one day I cried to my mum

586
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: and I said, I don't know what Sam wants to

587
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: do compared to what everybody wants Sam to do. And

588
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 1: right now I'm living in a world that I'm doing

589
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: what other people want for me. If you don't want

590
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 1: that life, you're the only person that's living. And what

591
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: you're not changing, you're choosing, and you're choosing to live

592
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: in a miserable life and you're choosing to do things

593
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: that you don't want to do. And I promise you

594
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: your parents are so proud of you, no matter what

595
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: you're choosing, like, no matter what. And I think right

596
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: now you're miserable. You hate it, and it might not

597
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,120
Speaker 1: even be the place that you're living in. You might

598
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: love like the city and everything like that. But you've

599
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: just had such a big life change and so many

600
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: things in your life have changed that your body can't

601
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: actually adjust to it. So what's to say? You defer

602
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 1: for six months. Start there, have a conversation, tell your mum,

603
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling, I'm really not doing well. No one's

604
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: going to turn around to you with this much knowledge

605
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,640
Speaker 1: of mental health and say, suck it up. You've given

606
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: it a good crack. You don't like it. You don't

607
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 1: know if that's the degree you want to be doing,

608
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,239
Speaker 1: and you're going to be paying a bunch fucks ton

609
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: of hex debt for the rest of your life. For

610
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: a like a career you don't want. Take six months,

611
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: take a year, work full time for a couple months, travel,

612
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 1: go to BALI, save up some money, figure out who

613
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: you are as a person, away from the identity of

614
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 1: your hometown, away from the identity of high school. Away

615
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: I'm a law student. Figure out who you are as

616
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: an individual, and who's not to say that You then

617
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 1: find yourself and you get your head a bit better

618
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: in six months time, and you do go back to

619
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: law or you decide, oh my god, I really love geography.

620
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to go study that figure out what you

621
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: want to do, and it's going to take time. There

622
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: are people my brother's twenty nine and he's only had

623
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: a good, solid career for the last two years of

624
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: his life. It took him until twenty seven to figure

625
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 1: that out. Like, you do not have to have it

626
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 1: figured out in your early twenties at all.

627
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: No, And this is that's what I hate about this

628
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 2: age specifically, because you feel like you do and whatever

629
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: decision you make, it's forever. And what I like about

630
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: your solution is that's not forever. It's like, Okay, let's

631
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: have a pause, because I was thinking she actually might

632
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 2: take a break from this degree and be like, oh no,

633
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: I actually do like it. Rs is also overwhelming. But

634
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,239
Speaker 2: also if you're brainy enough to get into law, you

635
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 2: can do anything and think if you find something you're

636
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: passionate about and how you know the intelligence behind that,

637
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: oh my god, you're gonna be like a next prime minister.

638
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 2: I think it's nice to meet.

639
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: You, like remember me when you get there, Okay, Like

640
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,959
Speaker 1: you're you're so smart, you're so intelligent, and it's just

641
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 1: like the biggest thing is I always remind myself of

642
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: two things when I'm really struggling is what does Sam

643
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: want to do? And what I'm now not changing in

644
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 1: my life? I'm choosing I'm choosing to put myself into misery.

645
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: So you just have to go, what do you like?

646
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: Your name could be Bella? What does Bella want to do? Like?

647
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: What do I want to do? If I could strip

648
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: every opinion away? If everything like that, what would you

649
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: want to do? And write that down in a piece

650
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 1: of paper, and then the next part that you write down,

651
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: journal it all out and just be like, what can

652
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: I do to get myself there? What are some steps

653
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: that I can take? Maybe it is having an open

654
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 1: conversation with your mum. Maybe it is driving home to

655
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: have that open conversation with your like mum in person,

656
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: taking her out for lunch and crying to her, showing

657
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: her how miserable who you are. No one's going to

658
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: be disappointed in you. If anything, people are going to

659
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: be more proud that you're doing something to change like

660
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 1: the point of life that you're in. No one's going

661
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 1: to be miserable. And if people at home are your

662
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 1: hometown are speaking shit, slap and don't actually don't ye like,

663
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: who gives a fuck? So many people about me is

664
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: speaking at home, but it's like, then you have to go.

665
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: My name is in your mouth so much and you're

666
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: not even a thought in my daily life. That is

667
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: leveling up. If you're not thinking about these people on

668
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: an everyday life and you're not speaking about them, and

669
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 1: then name is not in your mouth and yours is

670
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: in theirs, you're doing something right.

671
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 2: And bear your mind. There's many more life stages to come.

672
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 2: So if you actually make this change now and decide

673
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 2: what you want at twenty, get ready for twenty five,

674
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 2: because people at twenty five realize that they've committed to

675
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: a unicorse and I actually don't like it, and then

676
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 2: they all start again. So you're just going to be

677
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 2: five years ago. Well done.

678
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: You're doing it early. Be almost grateful that you've had

679
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: the crisis now.

680
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got so got beers, babe, I.

681
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 1: Have no doubt that you'll be fine.

682
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: Okay. Number four, I've got a bestie who I love

683
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 2: like a sister. We've been tight since year ten and

684
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 2: we've been through everything together. But lately she started copying

685
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 2: everything that I do. At first, I thought it was

686
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 2: kind of flattering, like she got the same skin care

687
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: as me, or posted a similar Instagram caption. But now

688
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: it's getting a bit full on. I recently got curtain bangs,

689
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 2: and literally within a week she did too. I signed

690
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: up for a reformer pilates, and boom, she joined the

691
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: same class and asked where my next session was. I

692
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 2: even started talking to this guy that I met at

693
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 2: a party, and suddenly she followed him and like three

694
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 2: of his picks from twenty twenty two. It's gotten to

695
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 2: the point where I don't even want to share things

696
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 2: with her anymore because I know she'll either do it

697
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 2: too or somehow turn it into her own thing. And

698
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 2: then I feel like the bad person for gatekeeping my

699
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 2: life from my best friend. Am I being or is

700
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 2: this actually kind of toxic? I don't want to start drama,

701
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 2: but I'm low key losing my sense of self in

702
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,959
Speaker 2: this friendship and don't know how to bring it up

703
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: without sounding like I'm full of myself.

704
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: That's is a lot, and it's so hard because, as

705
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: you said, like copying is a massive form of flattery.

706
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: She looks up to you, she is inspired by you,

707
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 1: which is beautiful but can be really frustrating, and I

708
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 1: really really get that. I don't know how old you are,

709
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: but I'm thinking you're younger than me. I think like

710
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: eighteen nineteen, and I think at the moment, she's probably

711
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: a little bit lost, and she's then looking at you

712
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: being like, Betty's got her shit together. I need to

713
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 1: be doing what Betty's doing to have my shit together,

714
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? And I think maybe,

715
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,479
Speaker 1: like I think it's like little comments that you need

716
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: to make, maybe like integrate into not like little digs,

717
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: but little comments have been like how do you know

718
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: that you're gonna like that just because I do it?

719
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 1: Maybe you should try something different, or like oh I

720
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,920
Speaker 1: really want to do that by myself, or I just

721
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: really want this one for me, or like little things

722
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: like that to see how she kind of takes it.

723
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 1: And I think maybe because you're a little bit younger

724
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: than me, you might be growing at a different pace

725
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: that she is. And because again you said that you

726
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: look at each other like sisters, she's feeling like she

727
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: needs to keep up. And because you're now finding a

728
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: little bit more of your identity and she might not

729
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 1: have gotten to that point yet, or she's feeling a

730
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 1: little bit more lost. She's following in your footsteps in

731
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 1: hopes that she's going to figure out what she likes

732
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:34,280
Speaker 1: as well. And because you look at each other like sisters,

733
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 1: it does get a little bit competitive. And I've spoken

734
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 1: about this on Just for Girls before, where when you

735
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 1: look at each other like sisters, their envy and jealousy

736
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: can get really involved and it can become quite toxic.

737
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,359
Speaker 1: And you do rely on your female friendships a little

738
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: bit too much, and I think maybe just pull back

739
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: a little bit. I know you look at her like

740
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: a sister, but at the moment it's frustrating you. So

741
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 1: don't feel like that you need to keep putting yourself

742
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: in those environments and if it's frustrating you, And then

743
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: she asks why you're pulling back and just being like,

744
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: I'm just doing things for me. I just really want

745
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: to figure out like what I'm doing and what makes

746
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,720
Speaker 1: me happy, and I'm just enjoying my lone time.

747
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like the people please her in me is like,

748
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, how can we empower this friend? But like

749
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: you were most important first and foremost, so do try

750
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 2: and find ways to, you know, find your own sense

751
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 2: of self within that friendship, but like, I know, I

752
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 2: like your advice Sam of just first pushing her in

753
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 2: the direction of thinking for herself, but I think maybe

754
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 2: if you have the capacity, try and empower her and

755
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: some decisions, being like I wish I looked like you

756
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 2: or something like that.

757
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:40,960
Speaker 1: That's a really good thing.

758
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 2: And make sure she's aware of that she has her

759
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 2: own style and sense of self.

760
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,399
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, and just be like, oh, what do you want?

761
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 1: And maybe sometimes it'd be like let her put her

762
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: opinion first instead of you being like, oh, I want

763
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: an orange juice and she's like, yeah, me too, it's

764
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 1: like what drink do you want? Allow her to feel

765
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: like she has the capacity to make her own decisions

766
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:05,399
Speaker 1: and she can form her own decisions and isn't in

767
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: that and let her make them first, And then you

768
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 1: could be like I want that too, or you'll be like, no,

769
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: I'm going to get the fucking apple juice. Actually, do

770
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And then if she goes, yeah,

771
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 1: me too, you'd be like, you know, you don't have

772
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: to have the same thing as me, Like get what

773
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: you want. You said you wanted the apple juice, and

774
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 1: just like support her and be like the opinion, and

775
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 1: the decision that you want to make is still a

776
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: good one, even if it's not my one.

777
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think the best you can do is

778
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 2: make her aware you can't get her there yourself. So

779
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 2: it's like as easier said than done. And I hope

780
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 2: that these like simple steps do help, but understand it is.

781
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 2: It seems sticky, And I hope that just the easy

782
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 2: hints can actually work before you may have to confront her.

783
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 1: Friendships are so hard, So hard they are, and friendships

784
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: change so much in your twenties and your late teens,

785
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 1: Like you don't have to just because you've had one

786
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 1: best friend for fifteen years doesn't mean she's going to

787
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 1: be your best friend forever. You might not be his

788
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 1: close for a few years, figure out both of your

789
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: sense of self and then come back together. Like I

790
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 1: just think you're both in a time period. Are you

791
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: figuring shit out? And maybe being there for one another

792
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: right in this point of time is not the easiest.

793
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, And this might be a cop out, but there

794
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 2: might even be a day where you're like, oh my god,

795
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 2: I kind of miss when we were so similar, Because

796
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,839
Speaker 2: as you grow, you're going to be maybe even polots yes,

797
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 2: and that's still okay, but yeah, trust it will change

798
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 2: as well.

799
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you're going to do that.

800
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 2: That's really difficult, alrighty number five. So I've been doing

801
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 2: a lot of reflecting lately, and I've had a realization

802
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: that's made me uncomfortable. I think that I'm the toxic

803
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 2: one in some of my friendships. I've noticed I tend

804
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 2: to get really defensive when people give me feedback, and

805
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 2: I've ghosted friends before instead of communicating when I was upset.

806
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 2: I've also made everything about me, sometimes like hijacking their

807
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 2: own stories with my own staff. I've never meant to

808
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 2: hurt anyone, but now I'm wondering if I've been playing

809
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 2: victim when I'm actually the one causing some of the damage.

810
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 2: It's hard to admit because I always saw myself as

811
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 2: a good friend. Is it too late to change? And

812
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 2: how do you start holding yourself accountable without drowning in

813
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 2: guilt or overapologizing. I actually love this.

814
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: I love this because I can wholeheartedly sit there alongside

815
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: of you and recognize in myself that I haven't been

816
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: a good friend At times. I know I'm not perform

817
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 1: Everyone has a toxic side. So the fact that you

818
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: can see it, you can own up to it, and

819
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: you can recognize that, first of all, applaud yourself with that,

820
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: because that is growth, and that is a really hard

821
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 1: thing for people to admit. So the fact that you

822
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: have done that is a really good thing and is

823
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: a thing a lot of people can't do. I can

824
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 1: fully recognize that, Like even last night, for example, like

825
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 1: I went out with some people and I was like,

826
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 1: I got home and I was like, oh my god,

827
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: I put myself into way too many conversations. Like I

828
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: do it all the time, and I'm a really chatty

829
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 1: person and I always love being a part of the conversation,

830
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: and I can recognize that, like sometimes I convert the

831
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 1: conversation and detour it and somehow like end up being

832
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: the storyteller of the group. And I was like, why

833
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 1: did you do that? Like not everything needs to be

834
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 1: added and you didn't need to add your opinion in

835
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,280
Speaker 1: there and everything like that, And that's your overthinking brain.

836
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: But when you recognize that, maybe you have done some

837
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: toxic traits and like I tend to cut people off

838
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 1: before they can cut me off, and I can recognize that,

839
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't regret anything that you've done, and I

840
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 1: wouldn't feel bad about anything that you've done because you've

841
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: recognized behaviors in yourself that you now don't like, and

842
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: going forward, you're more aware of those behaviors in yourself

843
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: that you now know not to do them. If that

844
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: makes sense.

845
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:46,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's honestly so oppressive, like impressive. There's not many

846
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 2: self aware people nowadays, so this is great to read.

847
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 2: And like even I related in so many ways. When

848
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 2: I'm uncomfortable with expressing how I feel, I'll just avoid it,

849
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 2: and I have. I've lost some friendships because of that.

850
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 2: I haven't talked to people for a few years, simply

851
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 2: because I'm too scared to say something that we're both over.

852
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:06,959
Speaker 2: But it's just something I'm trying to work at getting

853
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 2: better at it, something I still have a lot of

854
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 2: regret about. But like, I also think it's equally empowering knowing, hey,

855
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 2: you know what, I can just pick up my phone

856
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 2: and completely fix this or just do better next time,

857
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:20,360
Speaker 2: and that's all you can do.

858
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: That's growth, and like knowing that and just taking that

859
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: into new situations. You should never regret anything, because everything

860
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 1: that you've done has now gotten you into that place

861
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:32,240
Speaker 1: where you're now aware of your behavior, and like maybe

862
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: it does take a few conversations of people that you

863
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 1: may have heard and you literally just can be going,

864
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: like if you want to send a message and just

865
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:43,800
Speaker 1: be like, hey, you've been on my mind a lot recently,

866
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to reach out and say I'm

867
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 1: sorry if I ever hurt your feelings, I'm sorry if

868
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,359
Speaker 1: the way I behaved was immature. I really don't love

869
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,879
Speaker 1: that about myself and I'm working on trying to change

870
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 1: that about myself. And I hope that you can forgive

871
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: me simple as that. And they might not reply, they

872
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: might not want to be your friend again, But if

873
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,839
Speaker 1: you want to get that, you're almost guilt off your

874
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: chest and show that. But the best way that you

875
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: can show people that you have changed as a person

876
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 1: is through your actions and how you navigate that and

877
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 1: going forward with that. Don't try to like change the past,

878
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 1: just do different next time. And that's something that I'm

879
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,520
Speaker 1: always trying to do. Like, I hate it when people

880
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 1: from my high school, like will comment on a video

881
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 1: and be like she was like this in school, Like

882
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,759
Speaker 1: she's not a nice person. It's like, Okay, yeah, probably

883
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 1: I have. Like I will sit there and I'll be

884
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 1: the first to admit I wasn't a perfect person in school.

885
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 1: I probably said some really nasty things like I wasn't perfect.

886
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 1: I was the furthest from it. But I can also

887
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,959
Speaker 1: sit here now and say, as a twenty three year old,

888
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: I'm not that person anymore. So if you're still gonna

889
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: hold that against me as sixteen, you haven't grown, you

890
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,359
Speaker 1: haven't changed as a person, and I know that I have,

891
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: and that's all that matters. And I'm gonna put my

892
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: best forward into my friendships now. And they miss out

893
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 1: on that because they're not willing to give you another

894
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: opportunity to change. Like if someone I met when I

895
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 1: was fifteen comes to me now, I'm not going to

896
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 1: hold what you did to me at fifteen over your

897
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 1: head at twenty three, Like, I'm not going to do

898
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 1: that because I hope and I'm going to give you

899
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 1: the beneit of the doubt that you're not that person anymore.

900
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't regret it, and I wouldn't have any guilt.

901
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: I think you should applaud yourself and be really proud

902
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 1: of yourself for that.

903
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and with this knowledge, like do better moving forward.

904
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 2: But I don't know many people that even and having

905
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,919
Speaker 2: that knowledge or have even started getting there of maybe

906
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 2: self reflecting. So, girl, you're going to be just so good.

907
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm jealous of you, Like your prefiltal cortex is developing

908
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: BB just like easy turns fucking twenty five today and

909
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: that's crazy.

910
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 2: I turned twenty five like four months ago, and I'm

911
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 2: just not feeling it yet.

912
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: Men are a little bit slower.

913
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 2: So I know I've been told, I've been told. So

914
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: you've got this guy.

915
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 1: You're so fine. You've got so long. And just like again,

916
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: now that you're aware, you're self aware little things in

917
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 1: your daily life or make make a more mental note

918
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,240
Speaker 1: to ask questions about other people when you're in situations

919
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: and when you're trying to avoid a tough conversation, remind

920
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:12,280
Speaker 1: yourself of this moment and be like nope, I'm gonna

921
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: have it, like I'm gonna say that uncomfortable thing and

922
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: just go from there. Well, thank you guys so much

923
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 1: for joining us on Tuesday's episode of Hotter Than Yesterday,

924
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: and Blake, thank you for coming on. I really appreciated

925
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 1: the guidance I really needed it.

926
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 2: Oh my god, thanks for having me, honey. I'm so

927
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 2: proud of you for Hotter than Yesterday. Obviously we're talking

928
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 2: behind the scenes, but it's.

929
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: Been it's been a big change, and I think it's

930
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 1: like for me, it's been a bit weird because obviously

931
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: we launched it when I was over here and like

932
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 1: not being in the studio with you guys and everything

933
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: like that, it's been. It's been a difficult start, to

934
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: say the least. But I'm proud of every everything that

935
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 1: we're doing. I'm so proud of Easy. She's killing it,

936
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 1: like hotter than Yesterday, fucking hear me out. And just

937
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 1: for girls, we're doing a episode next week, so you

938
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,120
Speaker 1: guys will hear that soon. And yeah, I'm proud of

939
00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 1: everything that we're all doing. We're kicking go.

940
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're both killing it. But I think

941
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 2: what made our relationship so special was, you know, the

942
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 2: weekly time that we had in the studio. So this

943
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 2: has been it was needed.

944
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: I feel my car part.

945
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like even so nice in your close

946
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 2: friends and just like when we catch up, it's explosive

947
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 2: now like all the things.

948
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: Where's the law give it to me.

949
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we'll have a few more of these episodes, but.

950
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 1: This was Let us know what episodes you guys want

951
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: to hear. Please dm me over on Instagram. I would

952
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: love to hear from you guys, and I'd love to

953
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: hear your feedback of what you want to hear more

954
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 1: and everything like that. That would be amazing if you

955
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: could do that, please, that's your homework. I gave you advice,

956
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: now you can do me. You could do some homework

957
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: for me.

958
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 2: Please give her some advice.

959
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 1: Please give me advice. I need it. Well, Thank you

960
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: guys so much. I'll see you guys next Tuesday. We

961
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,640
Speaker 1: have a really exciting episode coming out next Tuesday, which

962
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,479
Speaker 1: will be really fun. And I'll also see you guys

963
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 1: very soon. And just for girls, alright, see you later eyes. Bye,