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Speaker 1: So whether you believe it or not based on what

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Speaker 1: you see on my socials and the Fate social media,

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Speaker 1: I am not friends with any of my staff members,

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Speaker 1: and I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but I'm here

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Speaker 1: to explain why that's actually a really good thing. And

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Speaker 1: it hasn't always been that way. It's definitely something I

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Speaker 1: have I don't want to say it worked towards, but

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Speaker 1: it's a boundary that I've set in place over the

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Speaker 1: last few years of Fate, especially as we've gotten bigger

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Speaker 1: and bigger and more structured. And I don't want to

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Speaker 1: say corporate, but Fate is a lot more. Not corporate,

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Speaker 1: it's the wrong word, but Fate is more I can't

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Speaker 1: even think of the word, but what it appears on

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Speaker 1: social media, Fate is actually very serious as a workplace.

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Speaker 2: The social media is just the fun part.

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Speaker 1: But if you came and you worked at Fate every day,

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Speaker 1: you'd probably be like, I didn't realize how structured and

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Speaker 1: formal this workplace actually is. And so I got a

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Speaker 1: comment on one of our Instagram reels, which I'll read out,

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Speaker 1: and it kind of inspired me to make this episode

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Speaker 1: talking in detail about why I'm not friends with any

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Speaker 1: of my staff and why that's actually a good and

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Speaker 1: healthy thing. So the comment that I got was on

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Speaker 1: an Instagram reel of April and I and we did

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Speaker 1: this like co worker stats kind of trend where we

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Speaker 1: were doing about and then written on the screen was

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Speaker 1: all of our achievements like amount of days work together.

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Speaker 1: You know, pink v's consumed like. It was just this

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Speaker 1: funny reel. And someone left a comment shout out to

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Speaker 1: Hannah and she said, Okay, I need to know do

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Speaker 1: you guys have a friendship outside of work or is

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Speaker 1: it strictly work just purely out of curiosity loll And

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Speaker 1: I was like, that's actually a really good question to ask,

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Speaker 1: and so I responded to her. I'll read out my response.

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Speaker 1: Great question and an interesting topic. I've got some pretty

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Speaker 1: healthy boundaries set being a business owner. I don't hang

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Speaker 1: out with anyone outside of work on a personal level.

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Speaker 1: We definitely do lots of fun staff gatherings and dinners, etc.

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Speaker 1: And go on work trips, but when it comes to

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Speaker 1: just hanging out outside of work, we don't do that.

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Speaker 1: And that's not in a mean or rude way. I

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Speaker 1: love everyone at work, but you have to have respectful

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Speaker 1: boundaries between what's personal and what's professional when you're a

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Speaker 1: business owner. For sure, I'll have to do a big

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Speaker 1: business podcast episode about this, as it's a very interesting,

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Speaker 1: interesting topic, for sure, So thank you to Hannah for

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Speaker 1: leaving that one comment on my real I made a

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Speaker 1: mental note and I thought, I need to do an

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Speaker 1: episode about that, because this is an interesting topic. I

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Speaker 1: am not friends with any of my team members outside

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Speaker 1: of work, and I know that sounds horrible now. If

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Speaker 1: you had asked me this question when I very first

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Speaker 1: started Fate, I would have a completely different answer. I

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Speaker 1: would have said, yep, I'm great friends with all the

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Speaker 1: girls at work. Mind you, we had a very small

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Speaker 1: team when Fate started. It started with one and then

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Speaker 1: it was two, and it was three. And back when

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Speaker 1: I started Fate, I was hiring my friends, so we

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Speaker 1: were hanging out outside of work. AJ was hanging out

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Speaker 1: with their partners. We were all hanging out together and

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Speaker 1: there was no boundaries set in place, which, on reflection

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Speaker 1: and looking back to that time in Fate's journey and

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Speaker 1: my life, it was fine. It worked that way back then.

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Speaker 1: But had I kept that same sort of mentality around

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Speaker 1: being besties with the people that I employ and work with,

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Speaker 1: I don't think Fate would be where it is today

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Speaker 1: in terms of its success as a business. And I've

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Speaker 1: definitely learnt over the years. And I know I've said

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Speaker 1: this a million times on the podcast. You know, I've

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Speaker 1: learned where to draw.

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Speaker 2: That line in the sand.

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Speaker 1: And now in twenty twenty five, I am not friends

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Speaker 1: with anyone at work, and by that I mean I

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Speaker 1: don't hang out with anyone outside of work unless we're doing.

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Speaker 2: Something work related.

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Speaker 1: Now, I don't want anyone to get my words twisted,

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Speaker 1: which is easy to do on social media. If I could,

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Speaker 1: and again I've said this on the pod a lot

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Speaker 1: over the last however long if I could, I would

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Speaker 1: be best friends with all the girls at work. I

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Speaker 1: work with the most amazing people ever, and we are

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Speaker 1: all so like minded, all around a similar age. We

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Speaker 1: all get along really well. We work together every day.

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Speaker 1: I could very easily be bestiaes with every single one

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Speaker 1: of them, like we have the best people working at Fate.

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Speaker 1: In another world or another life where I wasn't their

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Speaker 1: employer and we didn't have that professional relationship, I would

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent be actual proper friends with them. This

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Speaker 1: makes me sound so bad, but I swear I'm getting

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Speaker 1: to the point. But you know, if I wasn't in

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Speaker 1: the position that I'm in in the company, and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't their employer who is paying them and doing performance

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Speaker 1: reviews and all that kind of stuff, I would absolutely

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Speaker 1: love to be good friends with everyone that works at FATE,

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Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, they're all amazing

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Speaker 1: people and they're my kind of people. But I've had

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Speaker 1: to set a boundary in place, not only for myself

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Speaker 1: but also for them, because in a way, I almost

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Speaker 1: think it would be too much, even from the employee's perspective,

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Speaker 1: to be really good friends with also someone who is

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Speaker 1: your boss and your manager and a person of authority,

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Speaker 1: if that makes sense. And I definitely learned that in

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Speaker 1: my early days of FATE. Now, don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: everything that I talk about on this podcast, it depends

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Speaker 1: on the situation, right. I'm sure there are some people

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Speaker 1: out there who are best friends with their manager or

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Speaker 1: best friends with their boss. It all comes down to

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Speaker 1: each individual business and the way that it's structured and

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Speaker 1: set up. And you know, in my early days, for

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Speaker 1: all those early years of FATE, I a one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent was absolute besties with the small team that I had.

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Speaker 1: But as we've gotten bigger and bigger, and as I've

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Speaker 1: learned a lot of lessons along the way, especially in

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Speaker 1: those early early days, like moments where I was learning

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Speaker 1: how to actually have a sense of authority, which I

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Speaker 1: never had because I've never had five seconds of experience

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Speaker 1: in any kind of management role before running Fate. And

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Speaker 1: I remember having to sit someone down and be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: like you need to stop being so late, and then

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Speaker 1: someone getting so upset by that. But I could feel

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Speaker 1: that it was personal because we were friends. For me,

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Speaker 1: I find that so difficult if I'm you know, best

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Speaker 1: friends and hanging out with someone and drinking on the

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Speaker 1: weekend and then on Monday, I'm like, look, I got

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Speaker 1: to talk to you about something serious, because that's where

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Speaker 1: those boundaries and lines become blurred, and it's like, how

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Speaker 1: how dare you say this to me?

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Speaker 2: Like we're friends, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it was lots of moments like that in my

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Speaker 1: earlier days when Fate was very small, that I kind

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Speaker 1: of learned hang on a second, I think I need

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Speaker 1: to set a boundary here. The boundary is not only

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Speaker 1: for me, it's for them as well. And mind you,

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Speaker 1: you know, it was all well and good for me

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Speaker 1: to be besties with everyone at Fate when we were

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Speaker 1: a small team of like five or six of us,

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Speaker 1: but with nearly seventy at the moment, it's also just

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Speaker 1: impossible for me to manage. And then we also go

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Speaker 1: into like the whole area of favoritism and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: I would hate to find myself in the position where,

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Speaker 1: let's say I am running Fate and we've got sixty

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Speaker 1: something employees and I'm best friends with three of them.

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Speaker 1: How is that going to look to the rest of

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Speaker 1: the workplace, you know? And I do have April who

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Speaker 1: works very closely with me, and I spend the most

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Speaker 1: time with her. I'm mindful of if April and I

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Speaker 1: go on a work trip and we're making some fun content,

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Speaker 1: is that going to make anyone feel a certain type

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Speaker 1: of way. So I can't imagine adding another level of

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Speaker 1: having three staff members or however many that I'm really

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Speaker 1: good friends with, and then people maybe feeling a certain

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Speaker 1: type of way about that. So I like to keep

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Speaker 1: it even within the workplace. Now, even though I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: here in this episode saying I'm not friends with anyone

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Speaker 1: at fate. I don't want people to take that the

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Speaker 1: wrong way. So what does not being friends actually mean?

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Speaker 1: That means I still care deeply about my team's well being.

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Speaker 1: We still laugh, have fun, and celebrate wins. I don't

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Speaker 1: want anyone to take this episode and run with it

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Speaker 1: and go she hates everyone. We have the best time

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Speaker 1: at work. Every day we are laughing, especially in the office.

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Speaker 1: I spend most of my time there. There's so many

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Speaker 1: times throughout every day where I'm like, we have to

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Speaker 1: fucking stop talking and laughing because we need to actually

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Speaker 1: put our heads down and do work. Like we have

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Speaker 1: the best time. I would say I'm friends with everyone

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Speaker 1: at work, but I'm just not friends with them on

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Speaker 1: the outside.

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Speaker 2: And by that I mean.

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Speaker 1: I don't crossover into personal territory. No venting, no gossip,

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Speaker 1: no oversharing.

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Speaker 2: And if we're ever to.

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Speaker 1: Do a night out drinking, it will be in a

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Speaker 1: group setting. Let's say we've got our Christmas party coming up,

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Speaker 1: so we'll all go out for that, or maybe it'll

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Speaker 1: be a midyear drinks or a leadership drinks or something

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Speaker 1: like that.

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Speaker 2: That's when I.

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Speaker 1: Will go out with them, but I don't go into

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Speaker 1: personal territory. And by that I mean I don't sit

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Speaker 1: there and talk with them at work about stuff I

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Speaker 1: have going on in my personal life. They don't know

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Speaker 1: anything about AJ and my relationship. I don't go in

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Speaker 1: and go, oh, AJ's been a fucking dickhead to me

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. I keep all of that stuff

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Speaker 1: to myself. But let's be honest. AJ is not a

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Speaker 1: dickhead to me. I'm saying that out loud now because

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Speaker 1: he can hear me recording this episode. But I just

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Speaker 1: don't have that friendship in my personal life. And that's

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Speaker 1: not to say we don't get along. We all show

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Speaker 1: up at work every day and have the best time

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Speaker 1: and get along really well and crack up, and we

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Speaker 1: go on work trips and we have the best time,

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Speaker 1: and we'll go out for dinner when we're on a

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Speaker 1: work trip. But it just doesn't cross over into that

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Speaker 1: very personal part of not only my life, but their

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Speaker 1: life as well. So what are some of the benefits

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Speaker 1: to having a boundary set in place? And you don't

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Speaker 1: have to be a business owner to have these kinds

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Speaker 1: of boundaries. You could even have these boundaries if you've

201
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Speaker 1: just stepped into your first ever management position, I feel

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Speaker 1: like it's a good practice to put in place. So

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Speaker 1: what are some of the benefits and how does me

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Speaker 1: having this mentality benefit not only myself but everyone. I

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Speaker 1: can make clearer decisions when I don't have personal attachments

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Speaker 1: to everyone, and that can be decisions regarding absolutely anything,

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Speaker 1: and specifically to do with my staff. It means there

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Speaker 1: is a fairer culture between everyone at fate. Like I

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Speaker 1: said before, if I had three three employees that I

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Speaker 1: loved and hung out with all the time and they

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Speaker 1: are always coming over my house and always having parties,

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Speaker 1: how is that going to trickle into the rest.

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Speaker 2: Of the workplace.

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Speaker 1: It also creates less confusion about promotions or feedback. A

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Speaker 1: promotion is always going to feel neutral given the fact

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Speaker 1: that I'm not out hanging out with everyone and then

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Speaker 1: giving them a promotion, you know what I mean. Like

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Speaker 1: that would cause havoc in a workplace if I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this person's getting a promotion and they're the one that

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Speaker 1: I'm hanging out with every weekend with AJ and going places,

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Speaker 1: you know, and saying when it comes to feedback, which

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Speaker 1: is on the opposite end of the spectrum, if I

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Speaker 1: was to have to speak to someone maybe they've dropped

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Speaker 1: a little in their performance. It then doesn't cross into

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Speaker 1: that weird. I don't know how to approach my employee

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Speaker 1: to tell them that they've been slacking off a little

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Speaker 1: bit at work because we're actually best friends outside of work. Instead,

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Speaker 1: if I have that neutral relationship with all of my team,

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Speaker 1: I can then be comfortable having meetings where I maybe

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Speaker 1: have to give feedback that isn't all the greatest without

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Speaker 1: it becoming personal. And another benefit is it creates a

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Speaker 1: more professional environment that still feels human. I've had people

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Speaker 1: DM me a lot on our Big Business podcast Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and the amount of stories that I hear, and you know,

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Speaker 1: bosses emotionally dumping stuff onto their teams and then their team,

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Speaker 1: you know, mentally taking that home with them. I would

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Speaker 1: never want that for anyone employed by us, you know.

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Speaker 1: I want my team to come to work, show up,

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Speaker 1: get their work done, everyone, have a great time, laugh

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Speaker 1: all day, chatter all day, and go home and that's it.

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Speaker 1: I would never want to bring I guess, my personal

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Speaker 1: stuff into my team and kind of vomit that onto.

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Speaker 2: Them for them to then have that on their mind.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, I keep saying them to them and them and

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Speaker 1: then but you know what I mean, it just it

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Speaker 1: creates a more professional environment when I take out the

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Speaker 1: personal aspect of it. I think when everyone knows where

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Speaker 1: the line is, the business runs smoother and people actually

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Speaker 1: feel more respected. I can't speak on behalf of the

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Speaker 1: people I employ as well, but I don't think they

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Speaker 1: would want to have to worry about being friends like

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Speaker 1: best friends with their boss. And I really don't want

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Speaker 1: anyone to take this episode in the wrong way, Like

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Speaker 1: we definitely are all friends at work, and I know

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Speaker 1: there are so many friendships within our workplace, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of our employees have actual personal friendships together, and

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Speaker 1: they do go and hang out outside of outside of work.

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Speaker 1: That's actually something really interesting as well that I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of people in management roles would struggle with, Like,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're new to being a manager or new

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Speaker 1: to being a business owner, Like would just say, like,

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Speaker 1: you've got three employees and they all go and hang

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Speaker 1: out together, and then you might think, oh, like, why

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Speaker 1: wasn't I invited? And I think my younger self, when

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Speaker 1: Fate was very small and we had a few employees,

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Speaker 1: if i'd ever you know, heard that you know, the

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Speaker 1: girls at work went out without me, I would maybe

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Speaker 1: feel a certain way about it, like why didn't they

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Speaker 1: invite me? Kind of thing, which is natural to feel.

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Speaker 1: But on reflection, now, this far into my journey, I'm

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Speaker 1: glad that I've distanced myself in that way, which comes

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Speaker 1: with time as well, and just learning to be a

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Speaker 1: manager and a leader is now like, you know, there's

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Speaker 1: people hanging out all the time within our workplace on

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Speaker 1: the weekends and whatever and doing things together, and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's awesome. But I would never feel any type of

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Speaker 1: way like, oh, why wouldn't they invite me, just because

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Speaker 1: our workplace isn't like that anymore. But yeah, I guess

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Speaker 1: that's all I had to say in reply to Hannah's question,

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Speaker 1: and thank you again for leaving that on my real

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, that's a great little

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Speaker 1: bonus episode. I love everyone that works at Fate, and

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe if I wasn't their boss, I would

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Speaker 1: be their best and we'd be hanging out every weekend.

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Speaker 1: But Fate is quite a big company now and it's

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Speaker 1: very structured, far more than it would appear on social media.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, we have a lot of fun on social media.

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Speaker 1: We have a lot of fun day to day in

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Speaker 1: the office, and we try to do as many fun

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Speaker 1: workplace activities as we can. Like we've got our Christmas

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Speaker 1: party coming up literally next week, which everyone's so excited

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Speaker 1: about and so am I.

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Speaker 2: And we'll all let our hair down and.

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Speaker 1: Have fun and have drinks but also be professional at

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Speaker 1: the same time. But I think when it comes to

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Speaker 1: being a boss, you can be kind, you can be warm,

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Speaker 1: you can be fun without actually being in real life friends.

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Speaker 1: I would definitely rather be a respected leader instead of

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Speaker 1: being a confused leader, because I have allowed all the

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Speaker 1: lines to be blurred, and I was definitely a confused

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Speaker 1: leader back in the early days of Fate. And if

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Speaker 1: you're a small business owner or you're a manager and

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Speaker 1: you're listening and maybe you're struggling with this balance, trust me,

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Speaker 1: boundaries aren't warm their protection for both sides. That's all

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Speaker 1: for today's bonus episode, and I'll be back next week

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Speaker 1: with the main