Speaker 1: This is the Christy Swan Show very much to talk
Speaker 1: about contraception, and that song, interestingly enough, is my contraception.
Speaker 1: You're listening to the Christy Swan Show on Nobody I do,
Speaker 1: and I love that song.
Speaker 2: It just upsets me that Currel's on it.
Speaker 1: Just usess you when classics are covered, I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of them need to be left alone. And
Speaker 1: but Cyril is particularly pre He just rolls a wheel
Speaker 1: and goes, oh yeall.
Speaker 3: Sing that that was around in the seventies or eighties.
Speaker 2: I'll remix that. Yeah, who is he? What does he
Speaker 2: look like? He's a DJ?
Speaker 3: Does he have a face?
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me show you. I'll put him in front
Speaker 2: of you right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let me have a look.
Speaker 1: I seen him because I imagine him always very shady.
Speaker 1: He's got he's covering his eyes. He doesn't want to
Speaker 1: be recognized. I wouldn't either, not what we did, after
Speaker 1: what he did to the Smoky and Susie Quatro song.
Speaker 4: All right, let's move on.
Speaker 1: We're talking about the birth control pill, which is really
Speaker 1: a mine field.
Speaker 4: You know, if you're when you're in a relationship with someone.
Speaker 1: Because if you've decided that you don't want to have kids.
Speaker 1: You've had that conversation, then you need to believe that
Speaker 1: that is the truth and that the pill is being
Speaker 1: taken or administered or whatever.
Speaker 2: Oh absolutely, because otherwise that is that could really take
Speaker 2: your life in a path you were not expecting.
Speaker 3: It's massive, trust, isn't it massive? Massive?
Speaker 1: Anyway, the tables have turned here because on Reddit, my
Speaker 1: favorite little scrolly sart, this guy is saying, am I
Speaker 1: the bad guy for sneaking birth control pills into my
Speaker 1: wife's food and drink? I mean, I don't have to
Speaker 1: read anything more to say, yes, you are, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 4: You don't do that? No, why don't you start with
Speaker 4: a conversation.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's almost probably illegal, I reckon.
Speaker 1: Anyway, He goes on to say that he's been married
Speaker 1: to his wife for a year. She was vaguely mentioning
Speaker 1: that she might like children, and he panicked, and he
Speaker 1: said that he, you know, got some birth control pills
Speaker 1: on the way home. I don't know how a man
Speaker 1: will get them, but anyway, you know, it's America.
Speaker 3: You never know.
Speaker 2: There's a Black Martin for every black market for everything.
Speaker 4: And there's also a Black Martin for everything Black Martins.
Speaker 2: I don't know where Martin came from. There is a
Speaker 2: black market for everything.
Speaker 1: Martin says, don't don't you know, don't criticize the way
Speaker 1: I make money.
Speaker 2: Leave Martin alone.
Speaker 1: Anyway, It turns out this guy crushed up some birth
Speaker 1: control pills, which it's very hard to crush up a
Speaker 1: birth control Marvelon's not Marvelon Marvelon's I've.
Speaker 2: Never seen one. How big are they? Is it like
Speaker 2: a pan at all?
Speaker 3: Well, it depends.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, they're tiny. Oh yeah, you can
Speaker 1: dry pop them even people. Yeah, they just go down.
Speaker 2: That's a skill you've really lasted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've taken a lot of birth control pills in
Speaker 1: my time anyway, know that they're different sorts. So there's
Speaker 1: ones that you've got to take every single day, and
Speaker 1: then it's like a cycle, and then it starts again,
Speaker 1: and then there's sugar pills, and then they're sort of
Speaker 1: the freeish ones, like the government ones, and then if
Speaker 1: you have a reaction to them, you can step up
Speaker 1: and they're not cheap either.
Speaker 2: You really see a fortune stitched up being a chick?
Speaker 3: Do you absolutely do?
Speaker 2: I feel for you guys, dudes, Like, just don't have
Speaker 2: to worry about that, do you?
Speaker 4: It is not fair.
Speaker 3: You're right anyway.
Speaker 1: This guy drugged his wife and then had the gall
Speaker 1: to ask strangers on Reddit, how many pills are you
Speaker 1: supposed to take? He didn't even read the dosage. He
Speaker 1: gave her four pills in one go, which is the
Speaker 1: equivalent of the morning after pill.
Speaker 2: This man's a Netflix. It's bad doco waiting to happen.
Speaker 3: It's really really bad.
Speaker 1: But as I said before, contraceptive pills are a mine field.
Speaker 1: And I know at least two women I reckon. If
Speaker 1: I really sat down and thought about it, I would
Speaker 1: know a lot more. And I'm sure they're not proud
Speaker 1: of this, but they have told me that they have
Speaker 1: said they were on the pill.
Speaker 4: But they weren't.
Speaker 2: You can't do that.
Speaker 4: Apparently it's quite common.
Speaker 2: Have you lied about being on the pill? You can
Speaker 2: be anonymous.
Speaker 1: Did you just go I want this baby, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to do it whether you want me to or not.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine that's so wrong.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, we're talking about the contraceptive pill
Speaker 1: and the sneakety dickity stuff that goes on with it.
Speaker 1: Because if you trust someone to take that pill. You
Speaker 1: don't know whether they are or not.
Speaker 4: No, and then all of a sudden there could be
Speaker 4: a baby.
Speaker 2: Or you could be like this dude on Reddit you
Speaker 2: were just telling us about, and you secretly crush it
Speaker 2: up into your partner's food and joy.
Speaker 1: We take it once a day at the same time
Speaker 1: of day, not four. That's what you take when you're,
Speaker 1: you know, wanting to avoid whatever it's about to occur.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: That's very irresponsible.
Speaker 2: Thirteen twenty four to ten. Have you lied about being
Speaker 2: on the pill?
Speaker 4: Annie?
Speaker 5: Oh pillows?
Speaker 1: Hi? Hi?
Speaker 5: I haven't lied about the pills that I've lied about
Speaker 5: taking the morning after pills.
Speaker 4: Okay, tell me how did it happen?
Speaker 2: So I was.
Speaker 5: Dating this really really attractive ex military cop and it
Speaker 5: was like eleven o'clock at night and there were no
Speaker 5: cameras open, and I just couldn't be bothered going the
Speaker 5: next morning to the cameras to get the pills.
Speaker 2: Okay, So this is how's Maybe.
Speaker 5: Luckily I didn't end up falling pregnant, but my period
Speaker 5: was three days late and I was in a panic.
Speaker 1: Did you say to that guy, that military cop? Is
Speaker 1: that what he said they did. That's got scam written
Speaker 1: all over it. By the way, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm just jaded, but like if anybody says they've got
Speaker 1: a job like that, I go, yeah, right, I cold
Speaker 1: on you Donald Duck.
Speaker 2: And he hung up on us. Oh did she I reckon?
Speaker 2: He was nervous. I could sense nervousness.
Speaker 3: Voice because she's like, yeah, yeah, I'll tell the story.
Speaker 3: And then she's gone, oh my god.
Speaker 4: I want national radio.
Speaker 2: All right, let's go to Jesse.
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, yeah, good, what was your what was your
Speaker 1: big pill Lie?
Speaker 6: Well it's not so well, it's not anything baby related
Speaker 6: with more to excuse my poor behavior.
Speaker 4: Okay, great.
Speaker 6: I was acting like a raging mole, and the best
Speaker 6: thing I could do was say, I'm on a new
Speaker 6: pillow came My hormone are out of control. There's nothing
Speaker 6: I can do about this.
Speaker 1: That is Oh, that is really good. I have done
Speaker 1: that about other things too. Like I've said, I must
Speaker 1: be low in iron. I must be getting lower in
Speaker 1: iron because it affects my movie.
Speaker 2: You said that three days ago. You said to me
Speaker 2: that you need aron infuge because you're tired all the time.
Speaker 2: Were you lying to me. Oh, never, lie, I will
Speaker 2: pull up the text messages.
Speaker 4: No, I do need an infusion.
Speaker 1: No, you're late, but I need I do need an
Speaker 1: infusion now. But there have been times in the past
Speaker 1: that you that I have been a mole, as Jesse
Speaker 1: has said, and I've had to go, oh, I must
Speaker 1: just be them iron talking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, Jesse. What was the reason for your bad
Speaker 2: behavior at the time though, Like, was it anything? Was
Speaker 2: there anything else going on?
Speaker 6: No, say, totally inexcusable, just in the selfy mood. And
Speaker 6: then after, you know, when you think about afterwards, you're like, oh,
Speaker 6: I might have gone too far there. I've got a
Speaker 6: back down somehow without apologizing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, blame it on the Druggers.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, We're going to send you a Priceline pharmacy vout
Speaker 2: to Jesse. You could use that for the.
Speaker 4: Pill the Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 2: The Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: I think we're about to have an argument Jack, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe our first argument ever.
Speaker 4: Probably not.
Speaker 2: No, we don't argue like when we're off air. We
Speaker 2: never argue.
Speaker 1: No, and we never argue on air. But there are
Speaker 1: some things that you believe one hundred percent. Now, other
Speaker 1: things that I believe one hundred percent and I'm right.
Speaker 1: But I'm happy to entertain your thoughts.
Speaker 2: For the sake of four minutes radio Listen to me.
Speaker 1: You remight, here's another analogy for you, in the style
Speaker 1: of the one that I gave you earlier about three
Speaker 1: D glasses. I'm like a cranky mother barley dog, okay,
Speaker 1: and you're like a puppy and I'm like Gody, that's me,
Speaker 1: the angry Balinese dog.
Speaker 2: I love. I've got to tell you a story about
Speaker 2: Balinese dogs.
Speaker 1: After Okay, mental note and note Baronese dogs. Now, I
Speaker 1: just I hope I'm right here that we're going to
Speaker 1: have a differing opinion, because it'll be a real downer
Speaker 1: if we If we're aligned on this.
Speaker 2: That's okay, We'll just going to thrift shop, okay. Michaelaur
Speaker 2: and Ryan was awaiting.
Speaker 1: Scooting through Reddit. I found this thirteen twenty four ten.
Speaker 1: By the way, which way do you face in the shower?
Speaker 1: Do you face the water or do you face away
Speaker 1: from the water?
Speaker 3: Any excuse to play this?
Speaker 2: I love this Becky g song. Shower is it because
Speaker 2: it has a shower? Did not get the airplane credit
Speaker 2: it deserved ten years ago oh did it deserve it? Though?
Speaker 2: Absolutely no.
Speaker 3: Are we arguing about that?
Speaker 1: Now? Which way do you face? Because this I just
Speaker 1: feel like there's only one answer. There's certainly only one
Speaker 1: answer for me. Whenever you shower, which way do you face?
Speaker 1: Asks this guy on Reddit. I think most people respond
Speaker 1: that they rotate depending on where the soap is. However,
Speaker 1: I let the water hit the back of my body,
Speaker 1: and I've recently learned that some people face the water
Speaker 1: jet head.
Speaker 4: On and he cannot believe that. Well, I'm going to
Speaker 4: go first.
Speaker 2: Okay, So if you're standing under the shower, yes, where.
Speaker 1: What am I looking at? Am I looking at the
Speaker 1: shower head? Or am I looking away from the shower head?
Speaker 1: I am looking away? No, you're not, I said, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at.
Speaker 2: You're looking Well, that's wrong. That's the wrong way to live.
Speaker 1: No, Because you're walking in, you're wanting to get water
Speaker 1: on you, so you face where the water is coming from.
Speaker 2: Like no one, so many you've cooked it. That is
Speaker 2: so bizarre to stand in the shower where the wall
Speaker 2: most likely is and the showers coming out, and you're
Speaker 2: just facing a wall like thirty centimeters from your face
Speaker 2: and there is just water spraying onto you. Yeah, no, man,
Speaker 2: you turn around.
Speaker 1: I turn the head so it hits me on the buzzies.
Speaker 1: Like if I'm just standing there, it's not in my face.
Speaker 1: I'm not like an idiot. I am, but you know,
Speaker 1: not in that not in that moment. I'm standing there,
Speaker 1: and I that the water is permanently because I'm the
Speaker 1: only one who uses that shower. Hello, And then I
Speaker 1: face it so that if I am just standing there,
Speaker 1: it hits my boobs and then I can lather it
Speaker 1: all up.
Speaker 2: Do you do it because of the feeling of it
Speaker 2: hitting the boobs.
Speaker 3: Or because you know, because it's practical, that's what you're doing.
Speaker 3: You're washing.
Speaker 2: What are you doing this for your face? It hits
Speaker 2: the back of my neck and my hair.
Speaker 3: But why do you need to clean the net?
Speaker 2: I clean all aspects of how do you clean your face?
Speaker 2: I then get my cleanser, my ordinary cleansing. If you ask,
Speaker 2: lather it up, get some water, and then wash my face.
Speaker 2: You should never have the shower directly hitting your paws.
Speaker 2: A dermatole just told me.
Speaker 4: That I am shook.
Speaker 1: I just never if I if I'm shaving my legs,
Speaker 1: I will turn on the side and that's it. I
Speaker 1: never ever do the back unless I'm cleaning my bum.
Speaker 2: I'll turn around.
Speaker 4: The water goes right up there.
Speaker 2: I turn around to turn the shower on or off.
Speaker 2: But aside from that, I'm facing the wall because I
Speaker 2: like to look around, have a cover sing. Just facing
Speaker 2: the wall is very confronting and very grim.
Speaker 3: It's practical thirteen twenty four to ten. Which way do
Speaker 3: you face?
Speaker 2: I can't believe that, really, I can't believe that. I
Speaker 2: just it's a very sad image, the idea of someone
Speaker 2: facing the wall and just being sprayed.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's sort of, you know, like Prisoner of Wall.
Speaker 2: The Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: You got a big question that Jack and I cannot
Speaker 1: agree on. Which is the right way to face when
Speaker 1: you're having a shower. We all do it every day,
Speaker 1: and I personally do it the same way every day,
Speaker 1: and that is I walk in and I turn on
Speaker 1: the shower and I do not move. I'm facing the water.
Speaker 2: That's it, as if you're in an asylum. I turn
Speaker 2: around and face out of the shower and have a
Speaker 2: look around whilst I'm cleansing and washing my body.
Speaker 1: And he's got a very clean back, which nobody sees Martin.
Speaker 2: Who's right, Christy? You're one hundred percent right? Thank you?
Speaker 5: Man?
Speaker 4: Completely mad, it's gone completely mad.
Speaker 1: It's like all the.
Speaker 7: Bits glean, all the bits are exposed.
Speaker 2: You face that there front exactly. No, But Martin, what
Speaker 2: you do is you slightly tilt your right shoulder back
Speaker 2: or your left shoulder back, and then the water like
Speaker 2: will go down your chest and into the bits.
Speaker 3: Did you hear the ridicule in Martin's laugh.
Speaker 4: That's stupid.
Speaker 2: Martin thinks I'm an idiot.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, he's actually words where you've gone mad?
Speaker 4: Which is true.
Speaker 2: Hey Martin, we're going to send you a soda stream art.
Speaker 2: Push for better, thank you very much, don't you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Push for better means face the water? Hello, Rachel? Hey guys,
Speaker 1: who's right here? Me facing the stream of water? Or
Speaker 1: Jack facing away?
Speaker 2: Sorry Christy, it's Jack right, roach, Yes, why with a
Speaker 2: little rotate every now and again exactly like I was
Speaker 2: just saying to Martin, I don't mind a little black
Speaker 2: shoulder back, shoulder back every now and then to let
Speaker 2: the water come down the front. And don't get me wrong,
Speaker 2: twenty like eighty percent facing away, but like every now
Speaker 2: and then you'll you'll just turn to get a little
Speaker 2: bit on a chest. But no, we're not facing the
Speaker 2: wall like a weirdo.
Speaker 3: I don't understand to Rachel sensitive.
Speaker 6: Also, so if it's really hot or really cold, it's okay.
Speaker 2: That's true, You're not like getting nippleburn. Yeah, so to
Speaker 2: stream art, push for better, Rachel is what I like
Speaker 2: to say.
Speaker 3: Should I try?
Speaker 1: Like you know, they say that it change is as
Speaker 1: good as a holiday.
Speaker 2: I do.
Speaker 3: I have a shower tomorrow with it facing. I just
Speaker 3: can't understand.
Speaker 2: You'll have a shower tonight.
Speaker 4: I will. I will show tonight.
Speaker 3: I do have two a day.
Speaker 4: You'll be pleased to know good.
Speaker 2: I have three?
Speaker 4: Well, I have four.
Speaker 2: I have it. Do it tonight, try and film it
Speaker 2: and we'll whack it on the socials.
Speaker 1: But all my busies in front bottom will be dry.
Speaker 1: I don't see all the bits that really need a
Speaker 1: washer in the front, your face, your armpits, but your busies,
Speaker 1: your belly button and you.
Speaker 2: Do do shoes the technique of it.
Speaker 1: Why do you need a technique when you can just
Speaker 1: put water on it like you do would dish or
Speaker 1: a T shirt like anything else that needs washing.
Speaker 3: I don't take the head off and get it up there.
Speaker 2: Get it.
Speaker 3: I take it off, put it in my arm, pits everything.
Speaker 2: I do that as well, but facing the other way.
Speaker 2: But why hey, Jackie's on the line.
Speaker 3: Jackie, please help me make sense of this.
Speaker 7: No, I've got to agree with jack When I get
Speaker 7: into the shower, I face the shower head because the
Speaker 7: taps on. And then once I've turned it on, I
Speaker 7: turn my body because the front of me is now wet.
Speaker 7: Now the back of me is getting wet.
Speaker 5: I love her up.
Speaker 7: I wash it all and then turn it and wash
Speaker 7: it all off. And then if I want then in there,
Speaker 7: I'll put my back against it the gain.
Speaker 2: You're busy in that shower, Jackie.
Speaker 7: Actually, I'm actually demonstrating this as I'm telling you this, and.
Speaker 1: I'm imagining it too. I'm flipping around and I feel dizzy.
Speaker 1: I feel very very dizzy, slippery.
Speaker 2: So to stream for Jackie, let's finish with jjson.
Speaker 1: JJ who's right here me facing the water, facing away.
Speaker 5: None of you.
Speaker 7: He's got to both sit in the shower.
Speaker 2: Oh that is grim.
Speaker 1: The Christy Swan Show is a Nova podcast for more
Speaker 1: great comedy shows like this hett Anova podcast dot com,
Speaker 1: dot are you