1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,760 Speaker 1: This is the Fitsy and with with Kate Richie podcast. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 2: I want to talk about how to make a man. 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Obsessed with you. 4 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,400 Speaker 2: I also I also want to start this by saying, 5 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,920 Speaker 2: I don't think it should be your main goal for 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. 7 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 3: I do. 8 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 2: I don't think it should be the one thing that 9 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 2: we're taking notes on and really putting all of our 10 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 2: energies into. But I guess that if you are in 11 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 2: the dating game and you want someone to be into you, 12 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 2: then of course you're trolling through all of the tinto's Kate. 13 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 3: When the sun is out and it's summertime, you play 14 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 3: the beach wise. 15 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: Oh you do? You play the beach boys. 16 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 3: But the feeling of love sort of hangs high in 17 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 3: the air, and single people are often on the hunt. 18 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I think there's a lovely feeling of anticipation. 19 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 2: Isn't there something to be excited about it? That's why 20 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 2: people quite like going into the summer months being footloose 21 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,199 Speaker 2: and fancy. 22 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,279 Speaker 4: Free, don't we all a lot of mistakes made over 23 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 4: that period as well? Are we talking physically? Are you 24 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 4: talking presentation here of men? Or are we talking personalities? 25 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 4: We talk it's a trick it's a. 26 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 2: Tricky little thing and it's I'm I'm going to admit 27 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 2: I didn't come up with this. There's a woman who's 28 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 2: a she's a mindset coach, and it is very controversial 29 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 2: because I think it does introduce an imbalance in relationships 30 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 2: very early on. It does mean that boundaries are broken 31 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 2: and all of the things that you then spend lots 32 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,559 Speaker 2: of money on therapy or years to undo. This woman 33 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 2: is suggesting you do it to make a man obsessed 34 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: with you to start with. Some are even calling it toxic. 35 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 2: I will let Anna Christina Schmidt explain how to make 36 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 2: a man obsessed. 37 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 5: The easiest way to get a man is to be 38 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 5: rude and mean. If someone is mean to you, triggers 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 5: your insecurities and it makes you feel rejected. Naturally, what 40 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 5: your brain is trying to do is to be validated, accepted, 41 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 5: and get rid of the rejection. More the person keeps 42 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 5: thinking about this rejection and wanting to be accepted, the 43 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 5: more the person will be thinking of you, and he 44 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 5: will be wanting to pursue you and chase it. 45 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: What a load of crap. Whate a load of crap. 46 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 4: Because first impressions are so vital and if someone treated 47 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 4: me like that, I'm not going back. 48 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 3: Yes, Schmidt for brains. 49 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 2: Who are you calling that? You might have healthy levels 50 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: of self esteem. What she's talking about is that thrill 51 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,959 Speaker 2: of the chase, which sometimes exists very early on anyway, 52 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 2: you know, without having to be mean, the idea of 53 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 2: maybe not getting something over the line, or maybe not 54 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: getting that first date with somebody. It keeps you keen 55 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: because there's a level of jeopardy. 56 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 3: But if you're just being if you go down the 57 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 3: path of chasing somebody and they turn around and to 58 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 3: you to get stuffed as a tactic to make you 59 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,399 Speaker 3: want more, I just don't think it's going to work. 60 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:58,359 Speaker 3: Ego goes now I want you can get stuffed because 61 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,959 Speaker 3: there's any more fish in the sea. 62 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 4: BJ rejected me numerous times go and the big one 63 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 4: was the Virgin flight to the Virgin of Virgin Australia party, 64 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 4: the up of the hangar there up on the Brisbane 65 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 4: up in Brisbane. We went up there with a few 66 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 4: mates and I thought this is it. I asked around, 67 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 4: told it. We got back to her that I was 68 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 4: going to be there, and there was this one moment 69 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,799 Speaker 4: I remember Kate and I thought, this is it. She's 70 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 4: looking over it. She had a group of girls around her. 71 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 4: She looked, saw me, pointed to me, and all the 72 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 4: girls looked over and then they all started laughing because 73 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 4: the whole off because of the yeah it was and 74 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 4: probably yeah a few undown. 75 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 1: Things that I tested positive to at the time. 76 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 4: But I there was this moment, Kate where it just 77 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 4: absolutely ripped my heart out, to the point that after 78 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 4: that I didn't see her for another two years. 79 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: I took her out of my mind. This is not 80 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: gonna work because she was. 81 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 3: Mean to you. 82 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 2: You didn't follow up on that evening. No, that's the 83 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 2: I think it came keep people interested. I think that 84 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 2: when people I think sometimes men do it. But I 85 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 2: know I think the being mean thing has even worked 86 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 2: for me many. 87 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: Years doing it for long enough me? 88 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 2: Is that right? And who have you been talking to? No, 89 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 2: I'm talking about very early on, I think it was. 90 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: It was my way of I mean, it's so. 91 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 3: Child protecting yourself. 92 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 2: And of course I've grown up and out of this habit. 93 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 2: But when I would meet people, the meaner I was 94 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 2: to you, the more I liked you. I mean, Oh, 95 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 2: cologists in their cars are having a field day with that. 96 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,919 Speaker 2: But many years my you know, one of my first 97 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 2: kind of big out of school relationships. That's how I 98 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 2: think he just became obsessed with me. 99 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: That was your defense mechanism was to be like you know. 100 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 2: It wasn't a defense mechanism. It was my way of like, 101 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,799 Speaker 2: you know, last suing them into you know, treat them badly, 102 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 2: treating them me and keeping them keen. This person I 103 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 2: met at a party. It was a big kind of. 104 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 1: Function, but what did you do? 105 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 2: And so there were lots of lots of people there, 106 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 2: and then there was also a section with just like VIPs, 107 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 2: so it had the the roped off area or whenever. 108 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 2: And I spotted this person and I thought, oh, that's 109 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 2: a bit of it. 110 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: Get stuff. 111 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 2: He's a bit of And I thought, how to I 112 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 2: don't know how to open a conversation, but I do 113 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 2: quite like him. And we went. We were passing each 114 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 2: other in the corridor when the toilet was at the 115 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 2: same time, and I thought, it's not smooth. It doesn't 116 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 2: sound smooth, but it was. It's an example I have 117 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 2: drum roll with a couple line. 118 00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 3: You're outside the bathroom, when did you go with? 119 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 2: I said, I think you might be lost. This is 120 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 2: the VIP area. 121 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 3: What did Richard Wilkins say? It's in Whipper with Kate 122 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:15,159 Speaker 3: Ritchie is a Nova podcast walk great shows like this. 123 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 3: Download the Nova Player via the app Store or Google Play. 124 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 5: The Nova Player