WEBVTT - #2126 What's After The Goal? - Bobby Cappuccio 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:03.160 I get a team. It's the bloody the project that you. 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:07.000 I've been off. Well, you've had consistent podcasts because I 0:00:07.040 --> 0:00:09.559 recorded about four and Monday last week. But I've had 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:12.639 a few days away from the mic. I feel refreshed. 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.080 Life is good. I was just saying the young Robert, 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:20.000 my fatigue, whatever the fuck that was, seems to have disappeared. 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:22.520 And my brain's working, and my mind's working, my body 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:26.000 seems to be complying. Things are good. How's all your 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:27.680 stuff working over there, Robert? 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:31.720 Oh, things are in massive locks. A lot of things 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:34.720 going on. As we were talking before you hit the 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.919 record button. I am not I'm doing a lot of podcasts. 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:42.600 I'm just not posting them. I'm actually taking my podcast 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:43.360 season or Craig. 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:48.720 Oh, okay, well, good for you. How's your how's your energy? 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.280 How's your brain? How are all those bits and pieces 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.600 that kind of are required for your work? How are 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:55.600 they functioning? 0:00:56.680 --> 0:01:01.040 I have not slapped a lek in two days. Like well, 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:03.840 I think there's three brain cells in my brain that 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:06.840 are working, and only two at a time because one 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:09.880 naps while the other two take over. But yeah, it's 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:12.479 been rough. So last night the cats were fighting all night, 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:16.760 just just just knocking over tables. I was like, what 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:17.600 is going on? 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:21.679 Does How does somebody at your level, who has your 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:25.399 level of responsibility in your job and is as smart 0:01:25.440 --> 0:01:28.720 as you not get any sleep? Can you not? Can 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:30.960 you not find a solution to the cats? I can 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:34.240 think of one, but it's probably inhumane. But other than that, 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:36.200 can you not find a solution? 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:40.040 Yeah? The first part of that solution is fuck off 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:41.680 those those are my cats. 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:48.160 Second, now, I was just gonna buy them little muzzles 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.800 then type up their type up their feet at ten pm. 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.320 Now it's it's the little one. I mean, he's getting 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:57.360 to an age now where he's being a bit more rambunctious. 0:01:57.400 --> 0:01:59.960 So he'll just like put his paw on the old 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:03.680 ones had when you sleep and just keep like antagonizing 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:07.000 them like playfully, and just the older ones just like 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.880 that's it. I've had about enough of this. But I 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:12.200 don't know. I was not the one who was rolling 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:15.640 around fighting all last night, so but you s. 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:17.760 Up at the consequences. Hey, I want to talk to 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:22.160 you today about something that I think about quite a bit. 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.640 I don't know that we've ever spoken about it. I 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:27.720 don't know what the I probably should have done a 0:02:27.720 --> 0:02:30.240 deep psychological kind of review of all of this, but 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:35.160 I haven't. I'm just freestyling and ad livings and craigifying 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:39.080 as we go. But I call it destination disappointment. That's 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.280 not a real term. Well it is a real term 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:44.519 in that I use it, but it's not a psychological 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:47.000 construct or anything. Everybody, I'm sure there is a name 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:51.400 for it, But so my definition is, you know, when 0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:54.760 you get where you wanted to go, you know, either literally, 0:02:54.800 --> 0:03:00.520 but more metaphorically or financially or professionally, or physically or relationally, 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:02.680 you get to where you want to go. In other words, 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:05.679 you reached your goal. You got to the top of 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:09.560 the metaphoric mountain or the metaphoric peak on the way 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:14.040 up the mountain, and you're not happy, you're not content. 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.120 In fact, you got there, you achieved the thing, you lost, 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.840 the weight, you got the raise, you built, the business, 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:25.760 you got the qualification, you got the partner, and even 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:27.600 though you set out to get the thing that you 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:31.560 wanted to do or wanted to achieve, you're still not happy. 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:36.880 You're still not and you had associated the achievement of 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:40.080 that thing with happiness or at the very least contentment 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.600 or joy or And it seems to be really common 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:47.400 that even people that I've worked with where they've got 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:51.280 of you know, the start of our relationship as client coach, 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:53.760 what do you want to do? But you create change? 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.560 Why are you here? What's the thing? Like? What's what 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:59.440 lights you up? I just want to you know, I 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.960 want to play sport at that level, or I want 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.760 to lose that weight, or I want to build a business, 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:06.960 or I want to have an online this, or I 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:08.920 want to go I want to start a charity or 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:13.680 whatever it is. And then over time, thanks to them, 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:16.280 not me, but me coaching from the sidelines and them 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:21.120 doing all the work, they get there or they get thereabouts, 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:28.560 And very often is the emotional or psychological consequence of 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:34.080 that long term happiness contentment or I've got a few theories. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:37.520 But before I do, what do you think that's about? 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:40.120 Why do we find even when we get where we 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:43.200 wanted to go? I mean, how many people do you'll 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.520 shut up up to this? How many people of you 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.359 and I met over the years who and I know 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:50.920 this is very shallow, but that's the way the world works. 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.000 A lot from the outside looking in you go, oh 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.839 my god, you're so successful, or you're beautiful, or you're handsome, 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:58.680 or you've got the best body, or you've got the 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:02.480 best partner or and you know, in the middle of 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:07.040 all of that achievement and success or beauty or wealth, 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:10.440 they're probably less happier than the average. 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.400 Well. I think that's what we're conditioned to believe. I've 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.800 always been very suspicious. I think it's an absolute scam. 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:22.119 I don't think that, and this just personally, I'll dive 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:28.520 into this. I don't think having something or achieving something 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:31.760 is where the reward is. And maybe it's cool for 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.560 a couple of days, it's always in the pursuit. So 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:39.159 look at it from an anecdotal level. Right now, if 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:43.240 you're listening to this, ask yourself, what's the time in 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.120 your life where you have a strong sense of nostalgia 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:48.840 and memories, where you and your partner talk about, oh, 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:51.520 remember when we were in this phase we were doing this, 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.520 or your business partner could make oh remember when the 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:58.000 business was first getting started. Odds are it's when you 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.760 were on your way to somewhere. I had been living 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:04.360 in a one bedroom flat and just couldn't really afford 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:07.320 to fully furniture it. But you'll look back on that 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:10.560 with nostalgia because you were building something, you were growing. 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:14.720 So I think all of us have had that experience. 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:21.800 Or it was something that involved learning, growth, deep alignment 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:25.360 with something that was meaningful to you or the people 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.720 you were with, maybe all the above, but it wasn't like, oh, 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:31.520 it's about me getting that corner office. Because if it's 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:34.600 about that corner office, the second you have that corner office, 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:38.719 it no longer motivates, it no longer satisfies. Look at 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:44.160 it from a psychological perspective, right that when you take 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.080 a look at our you and needs, the second you 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:51.000 achieve a need you fulfill it, another need pops up 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:55.680 and you want to pursue that. So you could take 0:06:55.680 --> 0:07:01.039 a look at it from a neurobiological perspective, Are we 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:05.240 really wired for having or are we wired for pursuing? 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:09.120 Look at our whole dopamine ergic pathways. It's not about pleasure, 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:13.800 it's not about getting the thing. It's literally about pursuing 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:19.160 the thing. It's about the hunt. It's about constantly learning, 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:23.160 it's about constantly growing. And it's like, I don't think 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:27.000 this is true for absolutely everybody in all circumstances. But 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:30.440 I think it's either that if we're looking at it 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:34.520 from a goal achievement, it's the process of being on 0:07:34.600 --> 0:07:36.840 the way to achieving your goal, not when you arrive 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:39.760 and you look at all of the points of pleasure 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:43.400 that we can identify along the way. That almost like 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.960 being strung together by a common thread. That common thread 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:52.960 is experiences. It's stopping it, it's appreciating, it's being with 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.520 all serotonin driven things. 0:07:56.320 --> 0:08:03.400 Yes, yes, I love it. I'm just thinking like another 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:06.800 kind of this sounds funny, but it's an adjoining topic, right, 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:11.680 or it's in the same suburb is when people retire. 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.880 So many people are so excited to stop work, and 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.520 then they stop work and they get depressed, like within 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:22.760 a short period of time, quite often six months, and 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:27.320 their physical health declines, their mental health declines, you know, 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:31.720 they they lose drive, they don't have a they do, 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:33.920 but they don't feel like they have a purpose now, 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:36.680 they don't have a focus. Now, like you said, they're 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:40.199 not learning, they're not growing, they don't have the same 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:44.240 level of connection. And it's so funny about how many 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:48.080 of us complain about work. Ah fuck, can't wait for 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:50.360 the big six' five to come up SO i can 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:55.080 or whatever the age is wherever people. Live and then 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:58.160 we get there and you, go, oh day one of 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:02.520 the couch and gulf two times a week and you, 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:06.160 know WHATEVER i want to, do and then that just 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:10.640 quite often turns into a fucking slippery slope to. Nowhere. 0:09:10.679 --> 0:09:14.280 GREAT i, mean you take a look at the rise of. 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:18.480 Burnout it's. Alarming everybody's talking about, it and burnout has 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:22.200 a dynamic complexity to. It, so, yes workload does. Matter 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.360 people do burnout because they are in fact overworked and 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:30.920 they're working beyond the point where they're performing at an 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:36.280 optimum or even somewhat optimum. Level but so much of 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:40.160 that plays into not just the, workload but the meaning 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:45.239 or lack thereof the social, isolation the lack of cultivation 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:50.719 of relationships at, work pursuing something. Together SO i think 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:53.439 a lot of people struggle with that earlier on. Now 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:55.840 BUT i can totally say, that especially if you identify 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.040 with your career your, job like somebody asks, you, oh 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:01.679 so you know who are you and you give them 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.760 your profession as if that's the entirety of who you. 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:06.920 Are but for a lot of, people, yeah that's what 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:11.480 we're connected. To so if you, know if my whole 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:14.840 identity is tied up in this thing THAT i did 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.199 AND i no longer do, it, wow who AM? 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:18.760 I who AM? I? AM i? 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:21.480 Contributing what is my? Worth what's my value to? Others 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:23.920 that's a. Crisis, yeah. 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.520 Definitely AND i get my sense of self and self 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:30.040 worth and self esteem from doing these. Things every DAY 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:34.360 i show, Up i'm, Needed i'm. Needed When i'm fucking, 0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:38.640 Retired i'm. Not it's context dependent and individual, dependent of, 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.480 course but so many people THAT i know just feel 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:46.680 like they're lost because they're now not important to, Anyone 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:51.480 they're not part of, anything they don't really have a 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:55.920 focused they don't and so little, things you, KNOW i 0:10:55.920 --> 0:10:57.680 don't want to strow anyone under the bus THAT i, 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:01.400 know but you, know, small in fact non exist. Problems you, 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:05.440 know maybe a half out of ten problem becomes a, 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:08.720 five becomes an, eight becomes a, nine and then that 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:12.200 leads into other. Problems and it's just, yeah because we 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:17.959 have so little too perhaps invest our energy in and practical, 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:21.160 things getting stuff, done ticking. Boxes not that life's all about, 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:25.120 that of, course BUT i think life is more about 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:28.959 that stuff than we, think LIKE i, think we think 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:33.640 that like work is almost a, Problem WHEREAS i think 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.640 depending on the, work of, course that for me works 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:40.120 a blessing BECAUSE i associate it with so, like right, 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.119 now you And i'm. Working this is a commercial, podcast 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:49.160 we have. Sponsors like this feels genuinely to me nothing like. 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:53.640 Work it feels like a social. Experience and that's the 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.400 way THAT i come into. It, Right it's an, encounter 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:59.800 it's catching up with a. Friend it's mentally and emotionally. 0:11:59.840 --> 0:12:03.319 Good it's good for my brain because we're, thinking we're opening, 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:06.600 doors we're trying to perhaps answer a few questions or 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:10.840 or PEPs understand a few. Concepts but, yeah if you 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:14.160 can have work that is, meaningful THEN i don't know 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:17.760 that getting out of that in a hurry is necessarily 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:19.320 going to be a better. 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:23.200 Life, well if you take a look At gallop and 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:27.560 their research across the, globe seventy nine percent of people 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:33.000 are disengaged in their. Job so there's this massive divide 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.880 between WHAT i love and WHAT i, Do and there's 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.520 this whole thought, process and we've heard it a thousand. Times, 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:42.920 WELL i go to work every day and do WHAT 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:46.160 i have to. Do so then on my own free, 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:47.960 TIME i get to do WHAT i love to, do 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:51.480 and there's no shame in. That that is an honorable 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.480 thing to. Do but think about how much different life 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:56.959 would be if not all the. TIME i, MEAN i 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:59.120 don't know anybody who, well now that's not. TRUE i 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:01.520 know a lot of people who geek out on, spreadsheets 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.439 but not every aspect of your job you're absolutely gonna. 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.959 Love but if the bones of, it it's the essence 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:13.800 of your job reflected something that you deeply care, about 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.800 and you not only care about it from the meaning 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:21.520 that it, represents but from the emotion that it evokes 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:23.600 you enjoy, it it's. 0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:24.720 A completely different. 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:28.120 WORLD i, mean you don't know where you end and 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:33.600 your work, begins so your vocation is a. VACATION i 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:35.880 think that's a different level of, existence AND i think 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:40.320 that's why so many people are. DISENGAGED i know that 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:45.680 WHEN covid, HIT i went through a. Crisis and what's 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.719 really weird is the first couple of years OF covid 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.920 and the worst of, IT i was talking to a 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.320 lot of, people SO i was doing a lot of. 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:55.920 WORK i was doing a lot of things THAT i, 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:57.800 loved BUT i wasn't doing it in the way THAT 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.920 i was used to doing. IT i wasn't getting on, 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.800 plane there wasn't a live. Audience there were all these, 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:08.000 little tiny people in these little virtual. Boxes and then 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.200 after it was, done you just log off and they're. 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:14.800 Gone and that's very different than you're presenting an entire 0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.400 day or part of an entire, day and then at 0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:19.800 the end of, it you know exactly What i'm talking, 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.040 about you and your, team which very often is not 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.240 just your, team they're your, mates is sitting around with the, 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.400 delegates the, participants and you're just going over the day 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.520 in your. Debriefing so you've just been working at a 0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:36.960 marathon pace and energy, expenditure and now you're still working 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.680 and learning from what happened in the, day and you're capturing. 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.960 It when it's. Fresh you go back to your hotel 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:45.720 room and you are, smashed and you wake up the 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:47.240 next day it's, like, OH i can't BELIEVE i get 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:51.360 to do, this and that becomes your. Identity so you, 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.840 KNOW i was doing this inside of a vacuum because 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.640 of THE covid and the, shutdowns and it was brutal 0:14:58.680 --> 0:14:58.920 on my. 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:06.160 Psyche, YEAH i remember WHEN covid, STARTED i thought erroneously 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:08.120 BECAUSE i didn't really know what the fuck was going, 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.440 on BUT i, went, well this WILL i don't, know 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:13.600 this will be a week or two of mayhem and 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:16.200 then they'll figure shit. Out and, no that's WHAT i. 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:17.640 THOUGHT i, thought, well. 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:19.160 That's kind of WHAT i thought as. 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:21.240 Well that's Why i'm, like they're not going to shut 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:23.960 down the, World so let's just let's get through this. 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.760 Week and then a week or. Two you, know it's 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:31.320 like it's, like right, now petrol's becoming about a million 0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:34.880 dollars a leater In, australia And i'm, like out or 0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:38.640 sort itself out and it'll be back to normalition a few. 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.960 Yeah but then part of me is, like, oh this 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:44.600 could go on for two. Years it depends on what's going, 0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:48.040 on Right but, anyway so we're IN covid and after 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:51.760 about four, Weeks i'm, like this is not getting better at. 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:56.280 All this is getting. Worse and people were reaching out 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.520 to me and sending me messages and there was just 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.920 a lot of fear and, anxiety and you, know people 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:06.680 dealing with all the stuff we don't, like, unknown, uncertain, uncomfortable, 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:10.480 unfamiliar all the uns AS i, Say AND i said To, 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:14.840 melissa but those of you don't, Know melissa runs my. 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:20.200 LIFE i said To, melissa why DON'T i just do a, 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.480 Workshop not THAT i can fix, anything but just to 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:28.200 hang out with people. Online and you, know if twenty 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:30.880 people come or one hundred people, come it's. Free there's 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:34.280 no hook catch, agenda there's no we're not trying to 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:37.360 sell books or, programs. Nothing none of that's even going 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:41.160 to be. Mentioned it's just like me and however many 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:46.520 people for ninety. Minutes and so that was my. Intention, 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:55.200 anyway within within like twelve, hours she'd created a booking, 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:59.000 thing and SO i JUST i put on my, Business, 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:03.360 facebook my person Or facebook on My. Instagram i'm doing. 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:05.399 THIS i think it was Next. Wednesday it was like 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:07.840 five days. AWAY i THINK i called it being The 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.720 calm and The chaos or something like, that and, said 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:14.200 there's no hook catch, agendas it's. Free the only condition 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:18.280 is that you have to turn, up like do not 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:22.280 take a spot and not. Show AND i go. THIS i, 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:24.679 know for a range of, reasons this is not a 0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:27.560 clever move on my, behalf because giving shit away for, 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:30.320 free any business coach would tell you not to do, 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:35.040 that et. Cetera there's a million reasons why not to do, 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:36.639 it AND i, went fuck, it it's not about. 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:37.439 Me so we. 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:44.760 Promoted it that, night the same, DAY i, think and 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:48.920 we had over when we could only take one thousand, 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:53.320 people and that was because that's the capacity of our, 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:56.560 whatever and we had a thousand people booking in sixty. 0:17:56.560 --> 0:18:00.880 Minutes over a thousand people try to book in And i'm, 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:02.879 like fucket you Fuck SO i. Think we did that 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:06.359 at seven pm and then by Thirty i'm, like, ah 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:08.440 SO i spoke to, them, MILISS i, go what do 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:09.920 you think we should? Do there's like a lot of 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:12.600 people who want to do, this and we, go we'll 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.879 do another one the week after and then that'll fix. 0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:16.840 It then we did. That we launched that the next 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:21.040 night and that filed within two, hours and then we 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:24.560 did another one and all three filled with over a 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:30.440 thousand people and it just made me realize a, one 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:35.679 which was, fascinating how many people can plug. In and 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:38.480 we did Three wednesdays in a, row and of course 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:40.679 a thousand didn't turn, up but it was close to 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:47.119 one thousand every. Time, yeah just the need that people 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:52.720 have for a focus on something for, connection for something, 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:57.399 positive for something, uplifting and everybody had just been thrown 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:01.719 into this new model of living which nobody wanted or 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:05.200 very few people. Wanted and now you can't go, anywhere 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:09.200 especially In, australia you can't go. Anywhere you can't drive 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:13.040 more than five. Kilometers if you walk outside in the fresh, 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:15.520 air you have to have a mask, on you. KNOW 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:18.680 i mean even if you're in Rural victoria and you're 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:21.919 walking up a fucking old dusty, road you've got to 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:26.320 wear a. Mask and so it was. Turmoil and, YEAH 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:28.840 i THINK i got a lot of nice, feedback which was. 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:32.480 Good but people just appreciated somebody reaching out so that 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:36.760 they weren't in the middle of, nothingness like what's my purpose? 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:43.000 NOW i don't? Know some, workers, Connection, yeah all those, things. 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:46.560 And this IS i think this is What Captain charlie 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.480 plump mat when he, said never let adversity go to? 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:53.360 West like what did we learn as a result of these? 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:56.320 Experiences and this is a scary, Question it's a painful, 0:19:56.359 --> 0:20:00.760 one probably a disappointing. One as a society we become 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:02.800 as a result of this. 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:08.400 EXPERIENCE i think that's. Important and, yeah is it who 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:11.560 do we become or how do we? Become like what 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:14.320 version of us do we? Be, anyway it doesn't matter 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:18.240 what's your answer to that or what's your insight into that. 0:20:18.359 --> 0:20:21.199 QUESTION i know WHAT i. 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:23.760 FEEL i don't know how insightful it. Is i'm not 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:26.639 really sure how much we did learn BECAUSE i remember 0:20:26.680 --> 0:20:31.080 in the midst of, it people, were as your story perfectly, 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:38.879 illustrates people were very hungry for human. Connection, yeah and proximity, matters, 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:41.480 Right we can have this conversation all day, long these. 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:46.159 Debates BUT i, mean when you look at the, research 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:50.960 being in close proximity with other human beings really does, 0:20:51.080 --> 0:20:53.320 matter and that's not going to change in the course 0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.360 of a couple of. Years check back in twenty five. 0:20:56.440 --> 0:21:00.600 Generations maybe so we learned, that we learned that we 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:03.040 need each. Other we learned that one of the most 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:06.919 fulfilling things and life giving things is that, connection that 0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:10.680 intersection between you and. Me we learned that we need 0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:14.200 to have meaning and focus and be going somewhere. Together 0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:18.399 and then you, know POST, covid we seem to be 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:24.320 more focused on self and tribalism and disconnected from one 0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:30.240 another and discompassionate towards one another and threatened by any 0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:34.600 type of togetherness that we so desperately thought if it 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:37.560 doesn't come in the exact form of everything Else i've 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:42.440 experienced Or i'm, expecting how, sad how absolutely. SAD i 0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:48.040 remember nine to, eleven which is a small microcosm of 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:52.280 what's happening in the world right. Now and for about 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:57.600 a month, after everybody pulled together and they were just helping. 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:00.359 EVERYONE i, mean you had your break, in had your, 0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:03.240 eluding but it was so it was so minor compared 0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:06.560 to what you thought it would. Be in complete, chaos 0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:09.840 especially In Low. Manhattan but here's what you had so 0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:15.280 much more. Of you had people running into shops grabbing 0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:18.399 as much stuff off the shelves as they could not for. 0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:22.639 Themselves wasn't like the toilet tissue wars that we had IN. Covid, 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:25.520 YEAH i want to hoard as much for, me and you, 0:22:25.560 --> 0:22:28.359 know screw. You they were grabbing it for other. People 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:32.439 there were no staff at the front, desk and people 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:36.240 leaving money on the, counter probably more money than what 0:22:36.320 --> 0:22:39.639 they were taking was. Worth nobody was touching that. Money 0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:43.360 they were adding to. It we we had an evacuation 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:49.640 that was basically a call for assistance that was larger 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:54.880 in scale Than, dunkirk and nobody talks about. That and everybody, 0:22:54.960 --> 0:22:59.560 responded and in the worst, circumstances you, saw you saw 0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:01.720 the best to you. Humanity i'm so proud to be 0:23:01.760 --> 0:23:05.159 A New. Yorker and, then you, KNOW i think a 0:23:05.160 --> 0:23:08.040 couple of months, later somebody was crossing off the. Light 0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:11.679 somebody honked at, him and the person turned. Around it's, like, 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:13.920 oh fuck. Off it's, like, oh thank, Heavens New york 0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:16.480 is back. Again we're we're getting back to. Normal so 0:23:17.080 --> 0:23:23.480 that was a. Relief but we learned these, lessons and 0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:26.080 then as soon as the crisis is, over very shortly, 0:23:26.160 --> 0:23:30.080 after we move away from the things that we so desperately. 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:31.240 Required it's mind. 0:23:31.280 --> 0:23:36.760 MODELING i, REMEMBER i don't know how true this, is 0:23:36.800 --> 0:23:39.159 But i've heard it a few. Times a story about the, 0:23:39.200 --> 0:23:42.520 astronauts well one or two of the astronauts who came 0:23:42.560 --> 0:23:47.919