1 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: Everyone. 2 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: It's Kali here for this week's Mojo Monday. So I'm 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 2: going to talk about that a word today, and I 4 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 2: think most of you are going to know what the 5 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 2: A word is. So I'm going to talk about the 6 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: word anxiety, and I think a lot of you will 7 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 2: agree with me, or maybe you haven't thought about this, 8 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 2: but it is a word that is overused at the moment. 9 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 2: I think social media has had a huge impact on that. 10 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 2: We tend to our young people and I'm not isolated 11 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 2: to young people that many of us are very aware 12 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 2: of medical kind of terminology and using it in our 13 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 2: everyday language just because it's just so accessible. 14 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: At the moment. 15 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about this because I know a 16 00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 2: lot of students are heading into exams season right now 17 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 2: the schools and the universities, and there are a lot 18 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 2: of kids at school, maybe year eight, year nine. I 19 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 2: know my son, he's included in this, and they are 20 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 2: doing exams for the very first time, so of course 21 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 2: that is going to bring up feelings. 22 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: In the lead up to exams. 23 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 2: So I just wanted to have a bit of a 24 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 2: chat about that, but of course not isolated to those situations. 25 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:28,160 Speaker 1: Now, I know Naming how we feel is helpful. 26 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 2: Of course, research shows us that labeling an emotion can 27 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 2: turn down the intensity. 28 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: It's a bit like. 29 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 2: Turning down the sound of a blaring speaker. But what 30 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 2: if we get the language wrong. What if the naming 31 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 2: of the emotion is actually making things worse because we're 32 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 2: getting the label wrong. 33 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: You know, we feel this. 34 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 2: Wide range of emotions, and when we say we'll name 35 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 2: that emotion, we have to kind of go into our 36 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 2: bank of vocabulary and match the label with the emotion. 37 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: And there is a big chance that we're going to 38 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: get that wrong. 39 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 2: And what o'ur noticing in our language right now is 40 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 2: we automatically go to this word anxiety to describe what 41 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 2: used to be called maybe nervousness or worry or concern. 42 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 2: There are heaps of other words that we can use 43 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,119 Speaker 2: for how we're feeling in that moment. But what we're 44 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 2: doing is we're slapping this label of anxiety on every flutter, 45 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 2: every moment that we feel our nervous system kicking, you know, 46 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 2: our racing heart, our shaking hands, or even our worried thoughts, 47 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 2: and every dip in confidence that we have. It's like, oh, 48 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 2: here's my anxiety or oh, I'm anxious. 49 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:48,920 Speaker 1: And here's what that can do. 50 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 2: It can inflate something that is very human, that is 51 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 2: very natural and manageable, into something clinical. 52 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 1: And what we're. 53 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:05,079 Speaker 2: Doing is we're pathologizing natural human responses where it's it's 54 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 2: like it's permanent. It's something that feels permanent, and it 55 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: feels heavy, and it feels much bigger than us. But 56 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,239 Speaker 2: most of the time it isn't and not all the time. 57 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 2: I am very aware that everyone listening is in a 58 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 2: different situation, but I'm also aware that the word anxiety 59 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,680 Speaker 2: is being overused and that can have major ongoing repercussions. 60 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 2: We're using the word anxiety as this umbrella term, and 61 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 2: I don't think that's helpful. So being nervous, let's use 62 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 2: the word nervous, which is temporary, and I'm going to 63 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 2: talk about. 64 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: What it is. 65 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: But if we keep focusing on these sort of these 66 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 2: feelings of being nervous, it can lead to anxiety. And 67 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 2: that can depend on how we approach it, our mindset, 68 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 2: our attitude towards the nervousness. 69 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: If we automatically call. 70 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: Our state of being nervous anxiety and judge it as 71 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 2: negative and a threat something to get rid of. 72 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: It can actually. 73 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 2: Start to exacerbate and then it can get worse. So 74 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 2: this is where we can control our attitude towards it. 75 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 2: So if you have been listening to previous episodes, I've 76 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 2: mentioned this before. When I do presentations, which I love 77 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 2: to do. I love presenting. It's an opportunity for me 78 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 2: to make a difference in people's lives. But I can't 79 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: really nervous and I'm talking really nervous in the lead 80 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 2: up to it. But I don't call it anxiety. I 81 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 2: don't say I'm anxious about doing the presentation. 82 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: I certainly get hyped up, and I have worried thoughts and. 83 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 2: I you know, all the stuff that goes on in 84 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 2: your head and your body and the racing heart and 85 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 2: all that stuff. But I'm so glad that I that 86 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 2: actually happened thanks to me, which might sound a bit 87 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 2: weird to you, but I welcome it. And that's because 88 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 2: that nervous energy helps me. I'm grateful that it turns up, 89 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 2: because what it is is it's. 90 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:16,559 Speaker 1: Telling me you care. You want this to go well. 91 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 2: You want to give people value, So you need to 92 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 2: put in the work, you need to show up. 93 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: So think about that. On the other side of. 94 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 2: That very uncomfortable, very unpleasant state of nervousness, there is 95 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 2: this desire that I do well, and there's no way 96 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 2: I would do as well without it. If I didn't care, 97 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 2: I wouldn't feel nervous, so I wouldn't bother putting in 98 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 2: the work that I do. So what I do is 99 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 2: I listen to it. I don't run from it, and 100 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:51,880 Speaker 2: I use it as fuel. I prep better, focus more, 101 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 2: and I really stay grounded. And it doesn't mean that 102 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 2: I'm not super uncomfortable. Well, this is happening, but I'm 103 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 2: just in embracing the whole thing. But it's not anxiety. 104 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 2: I'm not anxious. I'm nervous. That's my body gearing up 105 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 2: for something that really matters to me. And the same 106 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 2: goes for students heading into exams. And I know some schools, 107 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,239 Speaker 2: as I mentioned, they've got exams in a few weeks 108 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 2: and there are kids heading into exams for the first time. 109 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 2: Let's stop casually throwing around the word anxiety. Anxiety is 110 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 2: it can be a mental health condition because it's excessive 111 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:38,160 Speaker 2: and it can really stop people functioning in their life. 112 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,599 Speaker 2: It can be so debilitating an anxiety. It often can't 113 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 2: be pinpointed to a trigger or an event. But what 114 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 2: most of us are feeling is natural. It's a natural, 115 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 2: healthy nervousness. Let's not medicalize something that's actually helpful. And 116 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 2: so kids going into exams are going to feel nervous. 117 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 2: It's natural, and that's because they care. They care about 118 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 2: doing well, They want to do well. Okay, So changing 119 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 2: that attitude towards it can actually mean they can use 120 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 2: it for fuel and really work out what they need 121 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 2: to do. You know, maybe we can change our language 122 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 2: and our attitude. And I guess if you can tell 123 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 2: me what you're so called anxious about, like an exam 124 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 2: or a presentation, or maybe it's a social event, then 125 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 2: that's you being nervous. It's about an upcoming event, and 126 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 2: chances are it'll all dissipate once you start, and certainly 127 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 2: once it's done. You know, how could you not feel 128 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 2: nervous before an exam or how you How could I 129 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: not feel nervous before a presentation or even a social 130 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 2: event where you hardly know anyone. I know, if I'm 131 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 2: going to a social event and I'm thinking, oh gosh, 132 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 2: you know, I only know one or two p people. Yes, 133 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 2: I'm nervous about that because there's something on the other 134 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,880 Speaker 2: side of that that I care. 135 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: I care about connection. I do care about what other 136 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: people think of me, whether they're going to like me. 137 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 2: This is all natural. So here's my invitation to you 138 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 2: for this week. Instead of jumping automatically to a label, 139 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 2: just feel what you feel. Take some time to connect 140 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 2: with that feeling. The challenge with this is trying not 141 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 2: to judge it in any way, allow yourself to just be, 142 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 2: and then you can ask what is on the other 143 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 2: side of this feeling? 144 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: What is my desire? 145 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 2: Is a desire to add value, a desire to do well, 146 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 2: a desire for connection, And what is this feeling trying 147 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 2: to tell me? 148 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,319 Speaker 1: You know, in my case, it's telling me prepare practice. 149 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 2: Maybe it's telling the students to put the work in 150 00:08:58,920 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 2: and study. 151 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: You know. 152 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 2: It might be telling you to take some time out 153 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 2: and do something that's enjoyable for you, or maybe it's 154 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 2: telling you to have an early night. There's just so 155 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: many messages that these feelings can tell us. And then 156 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,960 Speaker 2: it's what do I need to do right now? Because 157 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 2: the truth is the only reason we get nervous before 158 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 2: something big is that we care. We give a damn 159 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 2: and that's not a weakness, that's commitment, that's heart. So 160 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 2: let's stop using the word anxiety as an umbrella term 161 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 2: and let's start getting curious. Feel how you feel, stay human, 162 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 2: and focus on what you care about, and then show. 163 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: Up for that. 164 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,440 Speaker 2: So thank you so much for listening. I'm just so 165 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,439 Speaker 2: full of gratitude for everybody that chunes in every Monday 166 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 2: or whatever day you choose to tune into the Mojo 167 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 2: Monday episodes. I just really really appreciate it. Have a 168 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 2: great week, and I'll catch you next week. 169 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 1: So yeah,