1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,200 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. 3 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 2: Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm out and this is 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 2: two Break Chicks, a show that shares life lessons and 5 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: tips to help. 6 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,280 Speaker 3: Make you rich in life. 7 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 2: And welcome back to the show, Bridget Hussway. 8 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,159 Speaker 4: We are so back me. 9 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,480 Speaker 5: I'm so excited and this is my first time in 10 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 5: your steerience today. 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 3: Welcome. 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 6: It's so big and legit and amazing. 13 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 7: I'm so excited to be back as well. 14 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: The last time you're on the show, we were in 15 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: for a wild fucking ride. Well but you just like 16 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: derailed the whole episode with one story. 17 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:50,480 Speaker 2: Literally, we got the most iconic breakup episode ever. 18 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 4: It was break good. 19 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 3: It was so good. 20 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: Well not that you went through that, but but. 21 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, that was the first time that I had really 22 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 5: spoken about it, but I just kept. 23 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: After we were like, so we're all getting drinks, right, so rammed. 24 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: It was like a pre game just hearing that story, 25 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: and I was like, guys, I need a drink. 26 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 3: But we're glad to have you back on because we've 27 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 3: got you on. 28 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 2: Obviously, we don't need an excuse to have you on, 29 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: but we want to chat about your brand new book, 30 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 2: Figuring Out Dirty. 31 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 6: Second book, second book of baby. 32 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 2: Oh my god, how are you feeling now that it's 33 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 2: out in the world. It's been a few months now. 34 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, relieved, I think, and you guys would know it's 35 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,320 Speaker 5: it's you almost have and I think you sail as 36 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 5: a big music fan to you have like a newfound 37 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 5: empathy for people who put out big, like bodies of work, 38 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 5: like I always think of artists and just being like song, 39 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 5: EP album like damn, because you are working on it 40 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 5: for so long. 41 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 7: Yeah, and when. 42 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 5: You release it, it's out of your control. And we 43 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 5: were saying before even during the process. For me especially, 44 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 5: I like kind of just blackout, like because it's so 45 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 5: stressful for me. And I don't find writing like easy. 46 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 5: I enjoyed it in high school and I was really 47 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 5: good in my English classes. But I guess, especially you know, 48 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,959 Speaker 5: in the last decade of being like a music presenter 49 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 5: and like you know, communicating a verbal sense, I find 50 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 5: putting my thoughts and I guess the ADHD thing too, 51 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 5: but like putting it from pen to paper is really difficult, 52 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 5: and especially when it is a super personal body of work, 53 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 5: there's like that kind of emotional exhaustion too, So I'm 54 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 5: really glad that it's out, yeah, and probably won't write 55 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 5: for a long time, but happy to talk about it. 56 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. 57 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: And I think as much as it can be really daunting, 58 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 2: especially with a book like this that is quite vulnerable, 59 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 2: you're going to be helping so many people with it, 60 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 2: and I think so many people can relate to it, 61 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,240 Speaker 2: which I'm excited to get into it and ask you 62 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 2: some more questions about it. But before we do, we 63 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 2: love to start with our life lesson of the week, 64 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 2: So would you like to kick us off? 65 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: Sure? 66 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,079 Speaker 6: This is one. 67 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 5: It's an interesting one, and I I wish I was 68 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 5: better at it early on, but it's just I think 69 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 5: I was on my emails a couple of days ago 70 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 5: and I've just been thinking about it ever since, and 71 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 5: I've been, I guess, trying to be really aware of it. 72 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 5: And the life lesson would be to how will I 73 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 5: put it? I guess kind of own own your voice 74 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 5: and own your presence. So for me, this is in 75 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 5: the context of emails and being a freelancer, right, And 76 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 5: you guys would know too, when you following things up 77 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 5: and you know you're chasing things like I am very 78 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 5: much a chaser with work. There's things that will come 79 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 5: to me. But if there's something that I want to do, 80 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 5: I will. 81 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 2: You know. 82 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 6: I love hitting up people and being annoying. 83 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 7: Yeah, she's an ares. 84 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 8: Yeah, it's proactive. 85 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. 86 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 5: In saying that, I do have a bit of insecurity 87 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 5: with it, I guess an imposter syndrome. But I think 88 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 5: that's a natural tendency for women, especially, you know, kind 89 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 5: of owning that presence, and we tend to minimize our 90 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 5: requests and you know, make ourselves smaller because that's how 91 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 5: we've always been kind of treated essentially. So I've just 92 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 5: been aware of, especially in my emails of you know, 93 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 5: it will always be like just checking in, just wondering 94 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 5: and so sorry to be, you know, a pest. 95 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 7: But or does that make sense? All good if not? 96 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 5: You know, And I think for me, I really just 97 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 5: need to be a bit more assertive. 98 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:29,039 Speaker 6: So I'm trying to embrace that a bit more. 99 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 5: And I haven't really yeah, thought about it as much 100 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 5: as I have now been a freelancer. But yeah, I 101 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 5: guess a few days ago, so within the week I 102 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,240 Speaker 5: was on my emails and I've been just like shooting 103 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 5: out a bunch of ships. There's just so much that 104 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 5: I want to get going, get the ball rolling for 105 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 5: in twenty twenty five, because I was saying to you 106 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 5: before off air, like it's been a bit of a 107 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 5: slower start for me kind of getting into the rhythm 108 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 5: of work and especially being in wa where it's a 109 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 5: little bit more isolated in a creative sense. Yeah, I'm 110 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 5: just like out here chasing a bunch of shit. But 111 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,159 Speaker 5: I was like, yeah, I just really got to be 112 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 5: a bit more like, you know, have a bit more 113 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 5: ownership over my voice and that kind of presence and 114 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 5: you know if I mean, I'm allowed to have that. 115 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:19,360 Speaker 1: So yeah, but if you don't chase, you don't catch exactly. 116 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, no one's going to do it for you either. 117 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: I love don't ask, don't get moment, like when you're 118 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: sitting there being like should I do this? Well, you're 119 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: not going to get it if you don't, and by 120 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: like and sometimes it's not even an ask it to 121 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: tell like it's been like cool, like let me know 122 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: by the end of the day, that'd be great, thank you. 123 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 4: By yeah, being like. 124 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 3: Could you like get back to me whenever you can. 125 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: That's about now, right, now. 126 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 5: Yeah, and yeah, I think people think, you know, in 127 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 5: this kind of field that we find ourselves in professionally, 128 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 5: that you know, we get to do amazing things and 129 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 5: they just happen, but we actually chase so much of it. 130 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 5: You know, there's so much behind the scenes where we 131 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 5: are actually putting ourselves out there, putting our hands up 132 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 5: and getting up in people's faces because we want to 133 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 5: make things happen. So yeah, I feel really uncomfortable with 134 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 5: sitting back and expecting. 135 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,159 Speaker 6: Things to come to me. 136 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 5: I'm always very grateful when they do, but I can't 137 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 5: rely on that, and I feel like there's people who 138 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 5: will you know, there's people that will go out there 139 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 5: and do the things, and then there's other people who 140 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 5: will sit back and watch them do the things, and 141 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 5: then they get annoyed and it's. 142 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 6: Like, well, what do you expect? Yeah, you go do 143 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 6: the thing. Yeah, and you get the thing and. 144 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 7: You get the thing. Yeah, go do the thing. 145 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:30,720 Speaker 3: Girl. 146 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 1: My life lesson of the week is to go visit 147 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: your grandparents obviously if you can, if you live in 148 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: the same place, if they're still around, being mag bong, 149 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,679 Speaker 1: if you still have a relationship. But I haven't visited 150 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: my nonna in so long. And on Valentine's Day, I 151 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: got a bit drunk and I messaged her and I. 152 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 4: Was like, how a Valentine? Say yeah? 153 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: And she was like and she always saends like you 154 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: know how like our grandparents' text. It's like the most 155 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: eloquent response. 156 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 4: And she's like, hello Alexandra, live of my life. 157 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 7: Wishing you the best, beautiful Manada. And I was like 158 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 7: to rub I was like, we should go see my nona. 159 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: And he was like, all right, let's go. But she 160 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: lives on her own now. And I was like, don't worry, 161 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: we'll come. We'll make lunch. 162 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: We literally packed the pasta maker. We're going to go 163 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 2: make her like homemade pasted out. We get there, she's 164 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 2: put on a whole fucking roast. She was like I 165 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 2: just made a little something. 166 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 7: And I was like, what what do you mean? And 167 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 7: then she's made this whole roast. 168 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: And I was like, so why did I bring it? 169 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 4: It's just like just just a little bit. 170 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my gosh, okay, and then 171 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: she goes, okay, well, let me know when you want 172 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 1: to go to your Ernie Rauders and uncle ladies. And 173 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,040 Speaker 1: I was like, what and so she's then wrangled me 174 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: into driving to her brothers, which was amazing and like 175 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: they're just the best and we're spending the whole day 176 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: with them. And then my nanna's brother pulls out a 177 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: DVD and he's. 178 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 4: Like, have you seen this? 179 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 7: And it's mom and Dad's wedding video and I haven't 180 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 7: never ever seen it. 181 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: And so we sat around having like tea and coffee. 182 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: This was also when I learnt that Italian, their Italian 183 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: version of coffee just has baileies in it. 184 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, milk. Yeah. 185 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: And they were yelling at me because I was having 186 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: water and they're like, but that's going to rust your 187 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: insides and I was like. 188 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 3: I have to drive. 189 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: And we watched my mom and dad's wedding video so 190 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,080 Speaker 1: c it was just so I was crying. 191 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, so beautiful and beautiful. 192 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 7: And like, oh my god, I took photos. 193 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I want to say it. 194 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 6: Cantully if you haven't seen it. 195 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 7: I hadn't seen it, and they kept being like, what 196 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 7: do you mean you haven't seen it? 197 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: And I was like they haven't tried me, wow, And yeah, 198 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,679 Speaker 1: it was just the cutest thing ever. 199 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 4: So yeah, it was a good little day. 200 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 6: I love that. 201 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: It's so cute because, yeah, all my other grandparents have 202 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: passed away. So when we were watching a video, they 203 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,560 Speaker 1: were in the video, so like. 204 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 4: My nan and my pop my no no. 205 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 3: I was just you need to have like a wine 206 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 3: night with your mom and watch it. 207 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 4: Oh my god, I know tea And I'm like, okay, 208 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 4: so was pissing you off? 209 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 3: Yeah? Where are Well? 210 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 2: That's always the bts behind a wedding, exactly every time. 211 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 7: Okay, what's yours? 212 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 3: My life lesson? 213 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,000 Speaker 2: I'll keep it short and sweet because it's not that deep. 214 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 2: But did you know that if ninety nine percent of 215 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 2: the human population thought you were ugly, still around eighty 216 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 2: million people would think you were hot? 217 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that's good. 218 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 8: Yeah. 219 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 2: So even on your ugliest little day, which we all 220 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 2: have those days when we're not feeling like the hotties 221 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 2: that we truly are, eighty eighty million people, eighty million 222 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 2: people would say. 223 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 1: Smash wow, that's like that stat that's like people say, 224 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: it was twenty percent hotter than you think you are. 225 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, oh that makes me feel good. 226 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, so even on your ugliest day, you're still twenty 227 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: percent hotter than you think you are. 228 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 6: And then when you. 229 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,280 Speaker 1: Are feeling yourself and you're like, yeah, I'm hitting it today. 230 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: You're it's a home fucking run. 231 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 7: That's like unstoppable. 232 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 6: Yeah that's good. Yeah, I feel good for the eight 233 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 6: million people. 234 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 3: Good time the episode. Yeah, let's do it, okay, Bridget. 235 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:21,440 Speaker 2: Can we talk about the expectations that come we're turning thirty? 236 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 6: Oh boy, where do we start? I mean, well, did 237 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 6: you feel them? 238 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: Yeah? 239 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 7: I did a little bit. 240 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say for me, I think it's a 241 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,720 Speaker 2: little bit different because I don't necessarily know if I 242 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 2: ever want to have children or get married, so I 243 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 2: think those are two of the big pressures. But I 244 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 2: did feel like my worth as a woman in society 245 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 2: was being questioned. I just felt like, even after I 246 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 2: turned twenty five, the way that especially men who I knew, 247 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 2: spoke to me or just spoke about different things around 248 00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 2: me was significantly different after I turned twenty five, because 249 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 2: I did feel like people like say that people see 250 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 2: women who are over thirty as. 251 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 5: Lesser than Yeah, I'm really fascinated by especially growing up 252 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 5: when we would have been exposed to it, but we 253 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 5: weren't probably thinking about it in a deep sense until 254 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 5: we were twenty nine, approaching thirty with how it's been 255 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 5: captured through pop culture, you know, how we grow up, 256 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 5: and we were watching Bridget Jones and that's just recently 257 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 5: come out, the new one. I've only just recently in 258 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 5: the last like twelve odd months. Don't judge me got 259 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,839 Speaker 5: into Friends better late than ever. But you know, the 260 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 5: episode with Rachel crying about turning thirty, like it was 261 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 5: just the most horrific thing. 262 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 6: I remember very vividly. 263 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 5: Being eighteen and Lily Allen singing, you know she's nearly 264 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 5: thirty now and she's out every night, sad, but it's 265 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 5: true how. 266 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 6: Society says her life is already over. 267 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 5: Like those things I remember, you know, being so aware 268 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,200 Speaker 5: of growing up, but then I guess kind of forgetting 269 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 5: about them until I was not only twenty nine, but 270 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 5: I guess weeks before turning thirty when the big breakup happened, 271 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 5: because for me and I think coming from a regional 272 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 5: kind of upbringing where and not that there's anything wrong 273 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 5: with it, and also even our parents the previous generations, 274 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 5: like with the more traditional markers, those milestones of buying 275 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 5: a house, settling down, and having kids. When my mum 276 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 5: was my age now thirty three, she had four kids 277 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 5: under the age of four. I could not think of 278 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 5: doing that at all at this age, and that's what 279 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:34,960 Speaker 5: her reality was. So I think those kind of traditional expectations, 280 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 5: although they do feel less applicable to our lives now 281 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 5: because you know, cost of living, ill, we're working all yeah, 282 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 5: so gross, you know, women are working more, but yeah, 283 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 5: we those I think were the main kind of expectations. 284 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 5: And you know, on my podcast, I love asking people 285 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 5: like expectation versus reality, and I feel like I had 286 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 5: these expectations in place, and then when this breakup happened, 287 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 5: I was like, you know, a bit of a mess 288 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,200 Speaker 5: because I was like, this is not how I thought 289 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 5: turning thirty would be for me. But it didn't take 290 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 5: too long to kind of unpack that and be like, oh, 291 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 5: that's what I thought I should have wanted, because that's 292 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 5: what most people around me have done. So I just 293 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 5: thought that's what I was meant to do. But is 294 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 5: it actually what I want to do? 295 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 7: Yeah? 296 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,959 Speaker 4: And men versus want Yeah? 297 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 6: Yeah. 298 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 2: And I think that because you did have quite a 299 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 2: few of those things ticked off, you know, like you 300 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 2: have a very successful career, you were in a long 301 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 2: term relationship, you had some amazing milestones coming up. But 302 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,280 Speaker 2: I know that in that episode when we spoke about 303 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 2: the breakup, you did say that you weren't necessarily happy 304 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,560 Speaker 2: in that relationship and that point in your life. 305 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:51,719 Speaker 7: Yeah, so maybe. 306 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,280 Speaker 2: That helped with that realization too, because it's like, oh, well, 307 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 2: I had ticked all of these things that I should 308 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 2: have done by the time I was turning thirty, but 309 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 2: I wasn't necessarily the happiest version of myself. 310 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, And it just seems to be that age where like, 311 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 5: I just can't think of an age previously. And I'm 312 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 5: sure there will be more reflections moving forward, but thirty 313 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 5: does feel like that first kind of pit stop where 314 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,080 Speaker 5: you're like, let's have a look at everything that's happened 315 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 5: that's led me to this moment and what I want 316 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 5: moving forward, and how does it actually match up with 317 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 5: what I thought that I wanted. And I think there's 318 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 5: an element even if it doesn't align with what you 319 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 5: want now and you are, you know, very comfortable and 320 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 5: content with what you want, I think there's still like 321 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 5: an element of grief about it too, because you always 322 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 5: kind of you know, I hate to think what if? 323 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 6: But I think we always do. We always have that. 324 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 5: Natural curiosity and intrigue about the many ways in which 325 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 5: our life could be looking. But yeah, I guess it 326 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 5: just takes a little bit of time. And it took 327 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 5: a bit of time for me, I guess to get 328 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 5: really comfortable with where I was at and to see 329 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 5: that as a new decade as like you know, starting fresh, 330 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 5: you know, blank canvas, we can have a reset, and 331 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 5: I I don't you know, I look back on that 332 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 5: time very fondly because it was just like really big 333 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 5: for the personal development. 334 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 6: But it's hard. 335 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 5: And I think even if you do have a successful career, 336 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 5: we are because we're told that we can have it all, 337 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 5: so you know, naturally you do want to have it all, 338 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 5: but then you kind of quickly realize that it's really 339 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 5: hard to balance things. You know, I want to have 340 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 5: a thriving career, but you know a lot of systemic 341 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 5: things kind of prevent me from having to have that 342 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 5: and then being able to maybe be the mum that 343 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,720 Speaker 5: I want to be, you know, like women are in 344 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 5: the workplace, but we forgot to do anything to help 345 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 5: with when you return to that kind of more domestic sphere, 346 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,800 Speaker 5: right like nothing's changed there where you know, dads are 347 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 5: getting more support with if they want to be a 348 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 5: stay at home dad, like we have seen some you 349 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:54,040 Speaker 5: know that can be amazing stay home dads, But the 350 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 5: expectations still remain that women can go work, but they 351 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 5: still have to come back. 352 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 6: And you know, do all that labor, h. 353 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 4: Domestic and emotional labor too. 354 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:03,280 Speaker 6: Yeah. 355 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a quote in the book that I really love, 356 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: and you say, I can confidently and genuinely say that 357 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,760 Speaker 1: I've let go of what I believed my life should 358 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: be looking like right now. And I wanted to ask, 359 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: why do we see thirty as the deadline? 360 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's still I mean, I feel like I don't 361 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,080 Speaker 5: have like a concrete answer for it. But again, I 362 00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 5: think it's just that first age for me, at least, 363 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 5: when you know you're turning like sixteen, eighteen twenty one, 364 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 5: that's always really embraced as an exciting milestone because we 365 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 5: get more freedoms and you know that in a sense, 366 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 5: it's like those are the really peak fun bits of 367 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 5: being an adult. But for some reason, yeah, thirty we 368 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 5: kind of see as yeah, that's when shit has to 369 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 5: be serious. And again pointing to like our parents, who 370 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 5: were a lot more settled at that age than I 371 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 5: guess what a lot of us are feeling at the moment, 372 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 5: you know. And I obviously have a lot of friends 373 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 5: who do have like kids and houses and all of 374 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,719 Speaker 5: that at this age, who are happy with that. But 375 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,879 Speaker 5: there's never kind of been that dialogue where it's like 376 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,680 Speaker 5: what if you don't have that, and what if you 377 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,239 Speaker 5: don't want that? And feeling like it's okay to not 378 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:21,359 Speaker 5: want that kind of stuff too. Yeah, And I think again, 379 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 5: with like that external commentary and language surrounding just generally 380 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 5: women aging and being less desirable. 381 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 8: You really don't see this narrative with men, dude, No, 382 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 8: And I mean even when we like, I've been thinking 383 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 8: a lot about like the beauty standards, and I really 384 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 8: loved writing like the chapter on body image, because. 385 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 6: Yeah, I was even like it's funny, like I've had like. 386 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 5: Recent skincare like issues and it's been so annoying to navigate. 387 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 5: And I was thinking about like all the products that 388 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 5: we use and all the things that we are sold, 389 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,479 Speaker 5: and men aren't like, you know, sold any of that. 390 00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,919 Speaker 6: And I love that stuff. 391 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 5: But like when you kind of get to the core 392 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 5: of it and how things are marketed to us, and 393 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 5: it's always to attain this certain image and essentially to 394 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 5: be more youthful and desirable, like guys just do not 395 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 5: have that kind of pressure. 396 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 1: We spoke about this in an episode where sal shared 397 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: her thirty life lessons she learned by thirty, and there 398 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: was this conversation that we had in it that was 399 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,640 Speaker 1: kind of like, you're damned if you do, You're damned 400 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,880 Speaker 1: if you don't. You're damned if you like don't care 401 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 1: and you don't look youthful and then you've aged poorly 402 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: in quotes like that is not me saying that that's 403 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: the scenario. But then if you spend heaps of money 404 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,159 Speaker 1: and maybe you get botox or you spend lots of 405 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 1: money on the way that you look, then you're vain 406 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: and you care too much. And some in it's like 407 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: this damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, and. 408 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:49,840 Speaker 7: It's so wild. 409 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: But we had a really popular question come through and 410 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: it kind of aligns with what you were saying before 411 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: as well, and it's how to be okay with being 412 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: on different paths to your friends. Two of the main 413 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: ones that we saw come through was being the single 414 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,560 Speaker 1: friend and also not wanting kids. 415 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's I mean those two a huge I remember 416 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 5: during my single era, I like, I quickly found there 417 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 5: was you know, a lot of conversations that would quickly 418 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 5: go to me and it was like a source of 419 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 5: entertainment for some you know, we have. 420 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,679 Speaker 4: A friend who said the same thing. 421 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, or they'd be like, you know, you'll be fine, 422 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 5: like you'll find someone, and it's like, well, I'm pretty 423 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 5: content and comfortable with just having this moment to myself 424 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 5: and for however long it needs to be. And even 425 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 5: with the kids stuff, I think that also extends to 426 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 5: that kind of dialogue. And for me on that level, 427 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 5: I'd still like, I think I want a kid one day, 428 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 5: but I'm not fucking ready now. Yeah, but they're still 429 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 5: I don't know. I think we just what would make 430 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,679 Speaker 5: it easier, I guess is having more of the conversations, 431 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 5: but just somehow being able to normalize it a bit more, 432 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,400 Speaker 5: because I guess we haven't really been given that kind 433 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,120 Speaker 5: of frame of reference as to how we can talk 434 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 5: about these things, especially when now more and more people 435 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 5: are opting out of having kids and more and more 436 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,080 Speaker 5: people are so content with being single, and I have 437 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 5: realized I don't actually need a partner, you know, to 438 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 5: be happy, Like that doesn't need to be my sole 439 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,359 Speaker 5: source of fulfillment. So and I think it also stems 440 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 5: back to coming back to your self of value and 441 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 5: really making sure that you were comfortable with wherever you 442 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 5: are at that moment, and like again owning your choices too. 443 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 5: But we've been brought up to think that those are 444 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 5: you know, the things that we need. 445 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 6: To tick off. 446 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 5: Like yeah, well you guys, I mean you wrote a 447 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 5: whole fucking book about this, like and like when friends 448 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 5: are on different levels, like what was not to be 449 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 5: the interviewer now, but like your biggest takeaway from when 450 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 5: you were kind of you know, navigating that. 451 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,440 Speaker 1: I think the thing was that was one of the 452 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: biggest lessons from you know, the people we interviewed and 453 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: discussed it with this and our own experiences, was especially 454 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: with being a single friend, like because you go to 455 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 1: things and a lot of people are couples, but remembering 456 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: that you're single because you didn't want something, like something 457 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: didn't work for you, something wasn't right for you. 458 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:26,119 Speaker 4: And even though it's very very easy, like the comparison 459 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 4: trap is called a trap for a reason. 460 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,479 Speaker 1: It's easy to fall into that you have to remember 461 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: what it is that you wanted, and that there's not 462 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 1: a paintbrush that paints every single storyline the same way. 463 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 4: And it's just the way that my brain works. 464 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: And it's not to say that anyone's life is boring, 465 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: but like, I love. 466 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 4: Thinking about how individual lives are. 467 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 7: Like I love that. 468 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,959 Speaker 1: Feeling of when you see all the lights turn on 469 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: at like six pm, non dolit saving the time, and 470 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: like how everyone's life is so so so different and 471 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: how I want mine to be so individual. 472 00:21:58,480 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 4: To me, So why would I want my life to 473 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:00,959 Speaker 4: look like anyone else's. 474 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 5: Yeah, And I also think when it comes to celebrating 475 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 5: each other's wins as well, we really need to broaden what. 476 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:08,040 Speaker 3: The win wins are. 477 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, And like I have a great example that made 478 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 5: me feel really good. So Oscar plays footy for Fremantle 479 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 5: and we have a player's partners groups. It's just a little 480 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,800 Speaker 5: WhatsApp chat group for all the players partners sorry, which 481 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,879 Speaker 5: is yeah, it's really nice. And often in those you know, 482 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,480 Speaker 5: group chats outside of the admin for the matches and 483 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 5: all that kind of stuff, you know, the post will 484 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 5: be in there if you know one of the partners 485 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 5: has a baby or as engaged, and a few of 486 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 5: them are, which is, you know, great, And I was 487 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 5: really surprised to like open the chat one day following 488 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,440 Speaker 5: the release of my book and one of the ladies 489 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 5: who works at the club like made a really nice 490 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 5: message being like a huge congrats to Bridget for releasing 491 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 5: her new book. We're also proud of you and we 492 00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 5: know how hard you've worked and you have only known 493 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 5: these people for just over a year, And I was 494 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 5: I didn't expect that to be in the group chat, 495 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:08,000 Speaker 5: and that's not to you know, undermine or underestimate them, 496 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 5: but I was like, that's so nice, and to have 497 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 5: that kind of achievement recognized in the same context as 498 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,919 Speaker 5: you know, other partners getting engaged and having babies, that 499 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,439 Speaker 5: just really showed me that, Yeah, like I wish I 500 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,439 Speaker 5: guess more people got to experience that, but it's like 501 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 5: really not that it's not hard, but it just was 502 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 5: awesome for me to be like, that's so cool and 503 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 5: people messaging being like congrats Bridget, like that's awesome, and 504 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 5: they're all getting around me, and yeah, it was nice 505 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 5: to feel that you know, you can still be celebrated 506 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 5: for the things because that is a you know, and 507 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 5: you guys are the same. To release a book like 508 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,439 Speaker 5: that is a huge achievement for us and the only 509 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 5: you know, it shouldn't be kids owning a house or 510 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 5: getting married or engaged to be the only things that. 511 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 6: Are worthy of celebrations. 512 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:56,679 Speaker 8: You know. 513 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 5: So again, yeah, broadening our idea of what winds are 514 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 5: and we're just making the effort to be aware of 515 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 5: what winds are for people because they are different. 516 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 2: For it. 517 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: Also knowing what your wins are for yourself, like writing 518 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: those out and understanding what you find as a win 519 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: and making sure that it can look different, and like 520 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 1: giving yourself permission to celebrate those things. 521 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 4: You know what I love. I love when women have 522 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 4: divorce parties. Oh yeah. 523 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 6: Them first up. 524 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 5: And I think you need to be careful of, you know, 525 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,120 Speaker 5: being like toxic positivity on it too. But I guess 526 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 5: from my experience, I just I just see it as 527 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 5: an opportunity and like without being cringe, like break up, breakthrough, 528 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 5: you know, like it is just such an important time 529 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 5: and you have so much that you can actually gain 530 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 5: from it. And I do wish more women were able 531 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,960 Speaker 5: to see that, but again completely understand. 532 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 1: Hindsight nine and it comes like at least six months 533 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,639 Speaker 1: later and you're like, holy shit, Yeah, but you'll like 534 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,560 Speaker 1: be in a situation but this didn't have This wouldn't 535 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 1: have happened unless that happened. Yeah, and you're like, ah, vibes, slate, 536 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,199 Speaker 1: let's get into work. 537 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 7: Yeah. 538 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 2: This was another popular question that we had coming through 539 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 2: and something that you speak about in the book and 540 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 2: have spoken about quite a bit. So you also had 541 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 2: a huge career change around the time. 542 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 4: Of your thirtieth birthday as well. 543 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 2: Can you talk us through that and give some advice 544 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 2: for people who are thinking of making a career switch 545 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: in their thirties because it can be really intimidating. 546 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 7: Yeah. 547 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 5: Well, I mean starting my thirties freshly dumped was big enough. 548 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 5: But then when I turned thirty one, I was like, 549 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 5: let's you know, fuck things around a little bit more 550 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,679 Speaker 5: and quit my job that I've worked really hard. 551 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,159 Speaker 6: On and you know, making that grind. 552 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 5: I think it was like six years of unpaid work 553 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 5: to get up to that point to have a full 554 00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 5: time you know, a national radio show and a job 555 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,200 Speaker 5: that I deeply loved, the program that I was hosting 556 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,400 Speaker 5: Good Nights. I you know, still love it. I mean, 557 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,919 Speaker 5: like they've asked it now. When I found out that 558 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 5: they when they acted it, I cried and I was like, 559 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,879 Speaker 5: this is really heartbreaking for me because I just I, 560 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 5: you know, the legacy of that program beyond my five 561 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,639 Speaker 5: years hosting like Linda Mariano, who I icon't yeah icon', 562 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 5: and just you know, being someone who listened to that 563 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 5: program as a music fan and a listener before Triple 564 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 5: J and then being able to host it. But yeah, 565 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 5: I just was you know at that point where I, 566 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 5: as much as I loved that program, the developments for 567 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,920 Speaker 5: me at the station was it just wasn't happening. And 568 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,439 Speaker 5: I really saw, you know, I felt it's funny, I 569 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 5: felt like externally. 570 00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 6: Valued. 571 00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 5: Not to say that I felt completely not valued there, 572 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 5: but I felt very over looked as a music presenter, 573 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:08,159 Speaker 5: and I resented the programming hierarchy and you know, Brecky 574 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 5: and Drive getting all the interviews just because they have 575 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,200 Speaker 5: those slots. It was never about who was who would 576 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 5: be the best presenter to interview that person. I think 577 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,359 Speaker 5: it has changed now since I left, and I'm not 578 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 5: taking you know, credit for that, but I did like 579 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,199 Speaker 5: request like an exit interview when I quit, because I 580 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 5: had so much feedback that I wanted to tell management 581 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,479 Speaker 5: because I already knew some other presenters who were, you know, 582 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 5: a little bit fresher than me, already was starting to 583 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,439 Speaker 5: feel that and feeling a little bit defeated, and I 584 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 5: just wanted things to change for them, because I, you know, 585 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 5: I love seeing people who were so passionate about music, 586 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 5: and I mean everyone who works there loves music. But anyway, 587 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 5: I just felt like I couldn't see where I was 588 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,640 Speaker 5: going next. I did, you know, want to actually get 589 00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 5: into programming at some point, but that kind of yeah 590 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:06,679 Speaker 5: was not embraced, I suppose. And so I had a 591 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 5: contract negotiation and unfortunately it was shit, and it was 592 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,680 Speaker 5: just like a tipping point for me, and I was like, uh, 593 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,160 Speaker 5: I never thought that that would be. I actually thought 594 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 5: I'd stay on for one more year, but and I 595 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 5: was going to nothing as well. I think it's, yeah, 596 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,879 Speaker 5: it's a very unique situation when you leave your job 597 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 5: for nothing. 598 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,920 Speaker 1: I don't think it's that unique though in terms of like, yes, 599 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,160 Speaker 1: it's a very very big daunting thing. But I think 600 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: it's something that we're seeing and we get messages so 601 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 1: much now, because that's part of what is really scary 602 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 1: for people is it's they're in this job, they're in 603 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: this career, and whether it's the industry that they're in 604 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: or whether it's that specific role within that company that 605 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: they just don't. 606 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:55,959 Speaker 4: Want to do it anymore. 607 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 1: But they've invested all of this time, and it's like, 608 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: but I don't, like, I just want to get out, 609 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: and like they've kind of made that decision, but they 610 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 1: don't know one what they want to do next, or 611 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: they don't have anything lined up, So like, how do 612 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 1: you find the confidence to just say. 613 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 4: Like no more? Yeah? 614 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,240 Speaker 5: Again, it's different for everyone and dependent on your field. 615 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 5: But I guess what what I love about that is 616 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 5: people are obviously valuing their happiness and fulfillment more than 617 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 5: ever in a career context, and you can really link 618 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 5: it back to relationships, and like not settling with that 619 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,480 Speaker 5: obviously comes a lot of privilege. There are people who 620 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 5: just simply have to stay in these jobs that they 621 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 5: hate to survive. So I had a lot of privilege 622 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,240 Speaker 5: and that I knew that I could make it work, 623 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,520 Speaker 5: but I hadn't really spent It's not like I planned 624 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 5: it you know, it was actually really an impulsive thing. 625 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,920 Speaker 5: I didn't expect to quit, but I was so fucked 626 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 5: off that I was like nah. And then I remember 627 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,720 Speaker 5: telling my mom and she was like, do what makes 628 00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 5: you happy? I spoke to Oscar, and being the legit 629 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 5: stickle king that he is, was like, you know, obviously 630 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,480 Speaker 5: support you, but just maybe just like book in with 631 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 5: your accountant first and just you know, make sure you 632 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 5: know clever not you know, a completely silly thing to do. Unfortunately, 633 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 5: my accountant was like, yeah, I thought you'd be doing 634 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 5: this six months ago, like, you know, thankfully for me 635 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 5: and in you know, the field that like I'm in, 636 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 5: I guess, and I already had how to end. 637 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 2: Oh. 638 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 5: And I kind of made that effort to have an 639 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,360 Speaker 5: identity outside of Triple J. And I think, you know, 640 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 5: for any kind of job that's really important, it's hard 641 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 5: because we do spend so much time working, especially if 642 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:41,320 Speaker 5: we do love it, you know, and we're proud of it. 643 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 7: You know. 644 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 5: I was very proud to work there, but I also 645 00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 5: knew there would be limitations post Triple J. And I 646 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 5: was kind of just getting to that stage there, and 647 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,960 Speaker 5: I guess that age where I wanted to start thinking 648 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 5: about the next steps. But again, probably would have loved 649 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,840 Speaker 5: a little bit more time to kind of think it out. 650 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 5: But yeah, I just you know, went out into freelancing 651 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 5: and just I guess made it work because I had 652 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 5: no choice but to make it work. And that's why 653 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 5: I have to be a real chaser with us, you know, 654 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:14,240 Speaker 5: yeah pay Rent. Yeah, yeah, it is like a survival 655 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:19,400 Speaker 5: thing too, Yeah, very much so. But I totally empathize 656 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 5: with all the things that people kind of grapple with 657 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 5: because when you do spend so much time getting to 658 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 5: that point, whether it's you know, doing a four year 659 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 5: Uni degree, being like thousands of dollars in hex step 660 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 5: or for me, you know, doing that six odd year grind. 661 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 5: I mean, I've been music presenting a music presenter for 662 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 5: over a decade now, but you do tend to look 663 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 5: back at everything that you've invested into that and you 664 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 5: don't want to feel like you've wasted time or regretted it. 665 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 5: And I don't, you know, like because it's opened so 666 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 5: many other doors. 667 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 6: But it's scary. 668 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 5: But I just want people to know that it's never 669 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 5: too late, you know, it's never too late to switch 670 00:31:56,120 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 5: lanes to try something New I met a girl recently 671 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,480 Speaker 5: who's the partner of a friend who used to work 672 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 5: at Triple J Actually, and she was a journalist and 673 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,440 Speaker 5: you know she did that big grind, but now she's 674 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 5: studying to be a primary school teacher. 675 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 4: I love that. 676 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 5: She was like, you know what, I you know, this 677 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 5: has been the dream job in many aspects, but I 678 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 5: am exhausted and I think that I could really add 679 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,720 Speaker 5: value in that field. So she's moved from Sydney to 680 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,840 Speaker 5: Perth and she's back at UNI and she's so excited 681 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:32,360 Speaker 5: and she's gonna be. 682 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 6: A great teacher. But you know, it's never too late 683 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 6: to do that stuff. 684 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 2: In your book, you actually share a list of famous 685 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 2: people who started their careers after turning thirty. 686 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,080 Speaker 7: Can you share that with us. 687 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,920 Speaker 3: You're a bit of inspiration for the jigs. 688 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 5: Let's go through the list. Let me pull her up. 689 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 5: There is quite a few examples and they're wonderful. So 690 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 5: famous women who made their career after thirty. Oprah Winfrey 691 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:59,480 Speaker 5: launched the Oprah Winfrey Show at age thirty two. Wow, 692 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 5: I launched it last year, Crazy Kristin Wig. We've just 693 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 5: had the SNL fifty celebrations, which means so fun. I 694 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 5: love Saturday Night Live. She debuted on the show at 695 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 5: thirty six. No way, yep, pretty cool. Debbie Harry Ak 696 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 5: Blondie I'm sure you love my girl launched that project 697 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 5: at thirty. 698 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 3: One and a style ikon Music Park on to this day. 699 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 5: The rest is history. I love this about in the 700 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 5: world of fashion Vera Wang. Okay, so before that she 701 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 5: was a fashion designer, she was an ice skater and 702 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 5: a journalist. But she designed her first dress at the 703 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 5: age of forty. That is incredible, amazing, so cool and 704 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 5: Vivian Westwood. So she quit teaching at thirty to pursue 705 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 5: fashion design so went and studied that Jane Austin. I 706 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 5: didn't actually know this so first novel, Sense and Sensibility. 707 00:33:58,280 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 5: Guess how old she was when it came out? 708 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,600 Speaker 7: Thirty eight, thirty six close? 709 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, but I think that I thought she would 710 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,160 Speaker 5: have been like twenty twenty one, really young. 711 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,320 Speaker 6: I don't know why, but I just was really surprised 712 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:11,800 Speaker 6: to hear. 713 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 7: So imagine that being her debut. She's kine hot, hit 714 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:16,840 Speaker 7: it out of the past. 715 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:21,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, there's definitely this notion, especially with social 716 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: media and TikTok stars and not to take away from them, 717 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: but we see a lot of young celebrities now that 718 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 1: I think when we're older and we're like, oh, fuck, 719 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 1: like I didn't do that, I should have done this, 720 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: I should have done that, and set myself up for 721 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,239 Speaker 1: all these things that when you see a list like that, 722 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: you're like, it really does kind of like wipe the 723 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 1: slate clean in your brain, being like, yeah, I can. 724 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, change and I love there's two more recent examples 725 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,160 Speaker 5: that I really love and beyond the fact that they're 726 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,920 Speaker 5: both in the music world. But Amy Shark she released 727 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 5: a Door, which is you know, her breakthrough single was 728 00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 5: absolutely massive. She was thirty when that came and it 729 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,640 Speaker 5: was dubbed her breakthrough. She was actually you know, the 730 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,840 Speaker 5: commentary around her was like overnight success, but she was 731 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 5: grinding for like ten years before that. 732 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 6: You know, about the year. 733 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 5: Before that song came out, she emailed dom Alessio, who 734 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,840 Speaker 5: used to host Home and host on Triple J, and 735 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,480 Speaker 5: she was like, what am I doing wrong? You know, 736 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 5: like none of my songs are getting airplay? And then 737 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,279 Speaker 5: Odoor was the next single and it just you know, 738 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:29,920 Speaker 5: skyrocketed her. Yeah, Charlie XCX, I think is a great example. 739 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:30,920 Speaker 7: Finally getting her flowers. 740 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, she's thirty two, and you know, she's we've known 741 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 5: her for a while, like she's been on you know, 742 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 5: some main she's kind of flirted in the mainstream. 743 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 2: You know. 744 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:47,320 Speaker 5: I love it Boom boom clap fancy with Iggy's eliaineteen. 745 00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 3: Ninety nine and like all the Collapse with Troy. 746 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:53,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, but Brat is her most commercially successful record. It's 747 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,200 Speaker 5: the record that's won her her first Grammys, and now 748 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,200 Speaker 5: she's headlining festivals and she's thirty two. 749 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,319 Speaker 4: You know, I just looked it up then. 750 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 1: And Rebecca Yaros, who wrote Fourth Wing, which is like 751 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,480 Speaker 1: the best selling fantasy series of the year. If not, 752 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,640 Speaker 1: I would put it up there with books this year 753 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:14,680 Speaker 1: is forty three wow. 754 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 4: And that came out in twenty twenty three. 755 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 2: Wo. 756 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 1: So yeah, women can have so much success. Yeah, after 757 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,760 Speaker 1: the age of thirty forty fifty. 758 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 7: Yeah, Like I love that. 759 00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 4: I want to kick a door off its hinges. 760 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, your life doesn't end at thirty. 761 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 7: It's really only just Siously. 762 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 1: There's also this quote and it was like, why do 763 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 1: you think adulthood and fun ends at thirty? 764 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 4: When that was your first decade of being an adult. 765 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, and when money only had you only you've only 766 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,880 Speaker 1: had one decade of being an adult and you're done. 767 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, yeah, I don't know. 768 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 5: And how how because you still have so much to 769 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:54,360 Speaker 5: experience travel or you know, gain those new skills of 770 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 5: being exposed to a particular field, Like I just don't. Yeah, 771 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 5: it's crazy that we've like we've just had to, you know, 772 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 5: have it sorted and locked in by by thirty all 773 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,000 Speaker 5: that you. 774 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 4: Don't have time to experience other things. 775 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,920 Speaker 1: Because a very common thing we got sent in was 776 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: feeling like I wasted my twenties. We would you say 777 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,799 Speaker 1: to someone that felt like they wasted their twenties by 778 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:18,640 Speaker 1: not doing enough? 779 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 5: I mean, look, I don't want to say no regrets. 780 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 5: I just think everything's a lesson though, Like I would 781 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,000 Speaker 5: never look back on my twenties and think I should 782 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:34,040 Speaker 5: have done more. I think, and I also am able 783 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,759 Speaker 5: to kind of give myself I guess that compassion and 784 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,240 Speaker 5: be like, well that's how I was feeling at the time. 785 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,239 Speaker 5: I can't change that. And yeah, I've never kind of 786 00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,880 Speaker 5: looked back on my twenties and felt like I should 787 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,799 Speaker 5: have done something differently, or that I wasted time. I 788 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,200 Speaker 5: think everything always will lead you. Everything's led you to 789 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,280 Speaker 5: where you are now, and we're in pretty good positions. 790 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,000 Speaker 4: I agree. 791 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: I also think if you felt like you should have 792 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,760 Speaker 1: done things in your twenties that you haven't done yet, 793 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 1: maybe your twenties was about building the confidence and the 794 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,799 Speaker 1: life experience to approach those things that you want to do. 795 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,360 Speaker 4: But I want to ask you. 796 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: A quick fire round of dating and your thirties. I 797 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,600 Speaker 1: know we've touched on it a little bit, yep, Okay, 798 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on age gaps and dating younger 799 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:20,960 Speaker 1: in your thirties? 800 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,719 Speaker 6: So fine, Oscar's five years younger? I think it. 801 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, is really just a number, and I think there's 802 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,840 Speaker 5: a lot to be gained in terms of what you 803 00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,480 Speaker 5: can learn from them as well. 804 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 6: So I'm so here for it. 805 00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:33,920 Speaker 4: I love that. 806 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:34,279 Speaker 6: Yeah. 807 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 7: Okay, super popular question. 808 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 1: What are your top three tips on being single in 809 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 1: your thirties? 810 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,160 Speaker 5: Okay, Well, the first one that comes to mind was 811 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 5: one that I felt quite deeply was don't feel pressured 812 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 5: to When we say be single, we do tend to 813 00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 5: visualize that we're going out all the time, that we're 814 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,880 Speaker 5: building our roster and we Samantha Jones, Yeah, and honestly, 815 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,360 Speaker 5: I love her, And if you want to do that, fine, 816 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 5: But also some people don't want to or feel comfortable. 817 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:04,560 Speaker 5: And I thought that I would be going on a 818 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:08,319 Speaker 5: fucking spray when I was single, but then I just 819 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 5: realized I don't feel ready or comfortable, and that's okay. Like, 820 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,719 Speaker 5: just because you were single doesn't mean you have to 821 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 5: go and do those things. You know, and even if 822 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,160 Speaker 5: you want to go out and have fun and you 823 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 5: do want to find someone but you don't, like, don't 824 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,319 Speaker 5: beat yourself up about it. 825 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:26,840 Speaker 6: There is no one. 826 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,359 Speaker 5: Textbook way to be single, just like there's no one 827 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 5: textbook way to be in a relationship, and you just 828 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:35,040 Speaker 5: have to really tap into you know, your instinct and 829 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,440 Speaker 5: how you're feeling, and it may not be feeling the 830 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,479 Speaker 5: way that you thought you'd be feeling. Like like I said, 831 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 5: I thought that I would be going out doing all 832 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:45,040 Speaker 5: those things, but then I was like, nah, I just 833 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:45,600 Speaker 5: don't want to. 834 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 6: But I think people expected that of me. But I 835 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:49,960 Speaker 6: was fine. 836 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 5: I was on the apps, but I kind of treated 837 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,840 Speaker 5: a lot of the conversations just as little steps for 838 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 5: personal development because I just felt like I had to 839 00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,560 Speaker 5: unpack a lot of shit. So don't feel pressured to 840 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:00,839 Speaker 5: like go back someone. 841 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:07,319 Speaker 1: Clip, I want to bang away, you know, Okay, And 842 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:12,880 Speaker 1: you interviewed a neuropsychologist, doctor Hannah Coral, who likens friendships 843 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 1: to a solar system. Can you give us a quick 844 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,759 Speaker 1: run through about what this means and how it can 845 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:19,240 Speaker 1: affect friendships as an adult. 846 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,840 Speaker 5: I love when she said it because it's so easy 847 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 5: to visualize, right, these cute little planets just in a orbit, 848 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 5: And essentially it is just acknowledging that sometimes you may 849 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:32,759 Speaker 5: not be in orbit with another friend and that's not 850 00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 5: always a bad thing. I think, Look, it's each situation 851 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,879 Speaker 5: is different. But I found that I had a lot 852 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,360 Speaker 5: of peace kind of when she when she said that 853 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 5: just knowing that although you may not be in orbit 854 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:50,359 Speaker 5: doesn't mean you have to be like angry at each 855 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,480 Speaker 5: other or but you don't have to have you know, 856 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:55,200 Speaker 5: it's not it doesn't have to be a bad thing, right, 857 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 5: so you can be happy for them if they're you know, 858 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,040 Speaker 5: doing their own thing and you're doing your own thing, 859 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,720 Speaker 5: and you might come back in orbit at another point 860 00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:07,719 Speaker 5: in life. But yeah, I just think that was a 861 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,120 Speaker 5: really nice way of kind of framing it. 862 00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:13,160 Speaker 6: Can you like see it? Yes, yeah, and it makes sense. 863 00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,640 Speaker 1: It's why you know, I think in the book we 864 00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:19,200 Speaker 1: called it track changes, and it's when you, you know, have. 865 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,120 Speaker 4: Your high school friends, you're in orbit. 866 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,959 Speaker 1: Then you get a job and you're working full time 867 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,520 Speaker 1: with people, and then you kind of spend a little 868 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,400 Speaker 1: bit more time with them, and then that's your orbital. 869 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,839 Speaker 1: Maybe you move to a different country and like maybe 870 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,120 Speaker 1: it's a bit of a slower orbit, like with some 871 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,320 Speaker 1: friends that you talk maybe once a month on the phone. 872 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,960 Speaker 4: But I like it because I can visualize it too. Yeah, 873 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:38,440 Speaker 4: and I. 874 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,800 Speaker 2: Do think like it's always relevant, I think, no matter 875 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 2: what stage of your life you're in, but. 876 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,480 Speaker 7: Especially in your thirties. 877 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,760 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, as more people are getting married, having children, 878 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:53,000 Speaker 2: perhaps progressing in their career, moving away, these separate orbits 879 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 2: are happening more and more, I feel, and it's becoming 880 00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:01,440 Speaker 2: secure within that in yourself. Yes, knowing that friendships do 881 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,440 Speaker 2: ebb and flow and that they will exist in different orbits, 882 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,680 Speaker 2: but that doesn't discount what they meant to you or 883 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,759 Speaker 2: what they will mean to you going forward. We have 884 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 2: to finish off with our final question, what's your biggest 885 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 2: life lesson in your thirties so far. 886 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 5: Oh man, I think it is, you know, and it's 887 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,759 Speaker 5: probably in relation to that as well, and what you 888 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,320 Speaker 5: said al about that kind of secure place of understanding, 889 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:29,200 Speaker 5: just understanding that we are all navigating shit and we 890 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,279 Speaker 5: definitely just need to go a little bit easy on 891 00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,920 Speaker 5: ourselves and yeah, within our relationships too, because we are 892 00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,880 Speaker 5: all really just trying to figure it out. And so 893 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:44,080 Speaker 5: that's probably been the best thing is to make peace 894 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,120 Speaker 5: with that. And I think as well one of the 895 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 5: biggest life lessons was just taking time to figure out 896 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,840 Speaker 5: my values and actually what I, you know, value moving 897 00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,680 Speaker 5: forward and what that looks like in feeling a bit 898 00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 5: more fulfilled and content. And I did that session with 899 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,080 Speaker 5: my psychologist. She spread out like eighty fucking cards on 900 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:05,439 Speaker 5: the floor. 901 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,480 Speaker 6: It was really fun. It was like a game, but 902 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:08,360 Speaker 6: then it got really hard. 903 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:12,600 Speaker 5: So we kind of put values in different sections like important, 904 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 5: not important, important, really important, and the only two that 905 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,920 Speaker 5: I could remember in the really important, which was out 906 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,799 Speaker 5: of ten, I think from the eighty four, the two 907 00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 5: that I will always remember is just fun and inner piece, 908 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 5: and those just the two things that I want to 909 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,560 Speaker 5: keep front of mind with like everything that I do, 910 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,120 Speaker 5: and sometimes I won't. 911 00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,000 Speaker 6: Be good at it, but I think. 912 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 4: It's just north Star. 913 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,799 Speaker 5: Yeah, just you know, coming to know that, And yeah, 914 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,160 Speaker 5: I think that's been a really nice lesson and realization 915 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:43,280 Speaker 5: in my thirties. 916 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,279 Speaker 6: I loved that was never too late. 917 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show again. 918 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,680 Speaker 2: Bridget has been an absolute pleasure. But for the chickies 919 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:53,680 Speaker 2: who don't already know, where can I find you? 920 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,960 Speaker 5: I'm on Instagram at bridgeth pus to eight and yeah, 921 00:43:57,960 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 5: I'm just kind of working there. 922 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,080 Speaker 6: Yeah, and go by Bridget the book and the book 923 00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,560 Speaker 6: that you guys kindly endorsed. Thank you for reading it early. 924 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:04,960 Speaker 4: Of course, of course I was. 925 00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,280 Speaker 3: Honestly, I was like vip accent. 926 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:11,960 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming on, And 927 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,920 Speaker 2: thank you to m ik Made for making today's episode happen, 928 00:44:15,440 --> 00:44:17,720 Speaker 2: and to your chicks for having us in ear holes. 929 00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 3: We love to be here. Kisses, bye chick, Bye. 930 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:21,120 Speaker 2: Hi