Speaker 1: Adrian and I, against all odds kind of you know,
Speaker 1: found each other and made it work. What could have
Speaker 1: been really complicated and messy and hard was actually really
Speaker 1: beautiful and I think, you know, quite redemptive and amazing.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the heart of it. We are recording on
Speaker 2: gaddigal Land High. Sweetheart.
Speaker 3: Hello, how are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm good. Hey, we'll get straight into the chat,
Speaker 2: shall we. Today's guests are not just media legends, They're
Speaker 2: people who have built deep, meaningful relationships on and off
Speaker 2: the air.
Speaker 4: Hey.
Speaker 2: Hey, Ash London and Adrian Bryan are here to talk
Speaker 2: about love, friendship, connection and what we don't always say
Speaker 2: out loud.
Speaker 3: Right, that's very deep of you, honey.
Speaker 4: Hi guys, I wasn't nervous until now we're going.
Speaker 5: Adrian straight straight has gone through our text.
Speaker 2: I actually pulled the last bit off a media release
Speaker 2: from you two, so you can blame that one on
Speaker 2: your publicist. Love that, because I'm curious about that thing.
Speaker 4: But what we don't always say out loud?
Speaker 5: What's that like?
Speaker 1: Have you got it in front of you in some
Speaker 1: sort of as a producer pulled it from something and
Speaker 1: just pasted onto a fact sheet.
Speaker 2: Via email from our producer who's known we've just found
Speaker 2: out is known as producer X.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's that from a Tibetan book of relationships or something.
Speaker 6: Maybe sounds like maybe from AI, guys, and I don't
Speaker 6: believe it.
Speaker 4: Misquoted.
Speaker 3: I think that could be closer to the truth.
Speaker 2: Actually, well, I think the best actors are the ones
Speaker 2: that use very little words and you can just get
Speaker 2: the vibe off them. So this is radio podcasting, so
Speaker 2: we do need words.
Speaker 5: That's true.
Speaker 3: Well, let's just take you back to your beginnings though,
Speaker 3: because we always love to hear the beginnings of a
Speaker 3: love story. How did your relationship start?
Speaker 4: Let's go, babe.
Speaker 6: I've heard this story about eighteen thousand times.
Speaker 4: It loves to.
Speaker 6: Retell the story, and I love to do it to
Speaker 6: you guys as you are told the story.
Speaker 4: So let's okay, thank you.
Speaker 1: So it was the ARIA Awards, and I should know
Speaker 1: the year twenty sixteen, I think.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 1: I had been working at our radio company doing a
Speaker 1: night show and I got dumped and I was so
Speaker 1: heartbroken that I ran away to a desert island and
Speaker 1: tried to find myself very eat, pray love. Went traveling
Speaker 1: for a while tried to move to London, couldn't get
Speaker 1: a v YadA, YadA, YadA. I ran out of money
Speaker 1: and I got a call from back in Sydney and
Speaker 1: my manager pretty much said to me, look, ash you're
Speaker 1: gonna run out of money. If you haven't already, you
Speaker 1: need to just like wrap this up.
Speaker 5: Come home. Someone wants to speak to you about a job.
Speaker 1: So I came home with my tail between my leg
Speaker 1: kind of thinking I screwed my whole life up by
Speaker 1: you know, I thought I was going to do all
Speaker 1: this stuff and I'm coming home with Sydney and I'm
Speaker 1: broke and no one loves me and I didn't find love,
Speaker 1: and long story short, I get off at a new show,
Speaker 1: my own show, The Ashlander Live. I start doing that
Speaker 1: and then about a month and a half in I
Speaker 1: met the ARIA Awards.
Speaker 5: I kind of made a decision that day.
Speaker 1: I told my producer, I'm going to hook up with
Speaker 1: someone tonight because I never do that, and yolo, I'm back.
Speaker 5: You know, I'm thirty, I'm a hook up with someone.
Speaker 1: Sure And instead of having them yeah, which is so
Speaker 1: not me, very out of character. But what is very
Speaker 1: in character? Is it instead of like just randomly hooking
Speaker 1: up with someone. A man walked in late while the
Speaker 1: Veronicas were covered in red body glitter and parading around
Speaker 1: the stage. A man walked in with our big Boss
Speaker 1: and I said to my friend Angus, who's that And
Speaker 1: he said, oh, that's that's Abe.
Speaker 5: I said, what, like, introduce me. I'm going to marry him.
Speaker 5: I just like and I legitimately like full on.
Speaker 1: And then the whole night I was like trying to
Speaker 1: get people because it was like, you know, the r
Speaker 1: is like you're sitting in your seat and you have
Speaker 1: to watch the you can't be chatting. We shouldn't be chatting.
Speaker 1: But I was just like, introduced me, introduce me. So
Speaker 1: we had to wait till intermission and then we got
Speaker 1: introduced and yeah, I texted my girlfriends like dodgy photos
Speaker 1: of him from across the thing.
Speaker 5: Sad totally and then we shout.
Speaker 3: And I was like, and then when went out in
Speaker 3: the group with the group girlfriends, yea, that was you.
Speaker 5: Once it's with the girls, you're not taking that back.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we found each other at an after party that
Speaker 1: night at Intercontinental in Sydney and we just kind of
Speaker 1: found a corner and talked all night and I walked away.
Speaker 1: Nothing happened, but I just I walked away knowing that
Speaker 1: I'd met my guy and.
Speaker 5: We started dating. Living different cities at the time.
Speaker 6: So yeah, I was I was going away on a
Speaker 6: trip that I had planned, so some wild oats, but
Speaker 6: you know there wasn't a chance for that.
Speaker 2: Was that common denominator here going on? You were looking
Speaker 2: for wild oats that night as Adrian's planning on grabbing
Speaker 2: some somewhere. So you're both right for the picking we were.
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally timing. Timing is everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when on our first date that was November, it
Speaker 1: was the kind of January February first date, and we
Speaker 1: didn't really even have to have a conversation. It was
Speaker 1: just like, oh, well, this is it. And I was
Speaker 1: very easy, a very easy thing. And it always had
Speaker 1: to be, I think for me because I got the
Speaker 1: eck really quickly with guys like the smallest little thing.
Speaker 6: Different story now though, seven years later, let's get into that.
Speaker 4: What do we need to talk about?
Speaker 6: So?
Speaker 2: What made it? What's made it last seven years? What's
Speaker 2: what's been the key Well, what are some of the
Speaker 2: key things that have made it last?
Speaker 6: I guess we've always been really good at just like talking,
Speaker 6: like honest conversations and talking. You know, we're yeah it
Speaker 6: seven years in This is probably where that kind of
Speaker 6: falls apart for people, and you sort of drift a
Speaker 6: little bit, I suppose, if you're not kind of coming
Speaker 6: back and reconnecting and and that is hard. We have
Speaker 6: a three and a half year old and he is
Speaker 6: full on and you know, it can really take over
Speaker 6: your life unless you kind of really work at it.
Speaker 6: We kind of do have to give ourselves that little
Speaker 6: jolt every now and then just to be like, hey,
Speaker 6: it's been a while since we actually looked each other
Speaker 6: in the eye and a little chat or actually held
Speaker 6: hands doing that thing that we used to like to
Speaker 6: do or whatever it was, so kind of have to
Speaker 6: force it in.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think we are pretty good at that.
Speaker 4: Total life gets pretty hectic. We're both pretty busy.
Speaker 6: Work wise and life wise and all the things, so
Speaker 6: it's very easy to sort of go in other directions.
Speaker 6: So yeah, I think that's probably been the key, is
Speaker 6: we were able to come back together.
Speaker 1: And we're always better together, like we always say, we're
Speaker 1: just better together. So if for the you know, the
Speaker 1: age nineties, we've been together. There's been lots of times
Speaker 1: where we've been we've been traveling, or one of us
Speaker 1: has been away or you know, whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: it's like an hour into whatever work trip it is,
Speaker 1: no matter what how cool it is and whoever's doing
Speaker 1: the traveling, it's so obvious as soon as we're apart, like,
Speaker 1: oh god, we just both functions so much better when
Speaker 1: we are together. And yeah, I've forced a lot of
Speaker 1: conversations and I am just you.
Speaker 3: Know that things faster, right, Yeah, and you each know
Speaker 3: your role so that works.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, like the painfully positive one. And I'm all
Speaker 1: about like just if something, if something's broken, we fix it.
Speaker 1: So like, Okay, you're not happy in this area, what
Speaker 1: can we do to fix that? Was Adrian's a bit
Speaker 1: slower and more methodical about things, So I think it's
Speaker 1: a good little balance. I kind of jump into just
Speaker 1: like okay, let's fix it. Especially as a parent, I
Speaker 1: don't leave space for buddy to struggle with anything, whereas
Speaker 1: Adrian's very much a bit more like just you know,
Speaker 1: like put the brakes on, just relax, so we we compliment.
Speaker 5: We compliment each other like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just kind of jump in and he's very
Speaker 1: much takes fifteen years to make any decision in life.
Speaker 5: That's fine, Yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 4: Well let's talk about you pick not picking up your stuff.
Speaker 5: I'm so foul.
Speaker 4: We can talk about that stuff coming, yeah.
Speaker 3: We can, But I do love to hear the proposal
Speaker 3: story was there? Did you do something special? Did you
Speaker 3: know it was coming? Ash?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: How did that? How did that go for you?
Speaker 6: Yeah? Okay, so I think probably Ash did know it
Speaker 6: was coming. So we found the ring, like the ring
Speaker 6: like very early like, so we were just out doing
Speaker 6: normal sort of everyday stuff, shopping.
Speaker 5: Still living in separate cities, living in.
Speaker 6: Separate cities, and we'd come together and we're just shopping
Speaker 6: and then oh, there's a jewelry store. Should we have
Speaker 6: a look in there, just to get a bit of
Speaker 6: an idea of, you know, if it was ever to happen,
Speaker 6: And it was just there. The ring was there, this
Speaker 6: ruby ring, and Ash kind of fell in love with
Speaker 6: this ring.
Speaker 5: Three months after this was not very long, right.
Speaker 6: Very soon, mean you know when you know, And so
Speaker 6: I think very soon after that, i'd gone back to
Speaker 6: that shop and sort of whatever put it on hold
Speaker 6: or paid for paid for it I can't really remember,
Speaker 6: and made them hang on to it. And then because
Speaker 6: I knew that, yeah, soon enough there would be a
Speaker 6: time and a place that would be right. And I
Speaker 6: hadn't sort of planned that yet, but I just knew that,
Speaker 6: you know, it was going to come. And then we
Speaker 6: had a trip to London for work again coming up,
Speaker 6: and I thought that'd be really cool.
Speaker 4: Maybe I'll do it there.
Speaker 6: But then I thought Ash was onto it, so I thought, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: that was a fun trip, so I left it out
Speaker 6: of that trip. I thought that'd be.
Speaker 5: Too traveling with the.
Speaker 4: Stressed about taking it, and I was like, nah, I'm
Speaker 4: not going to do that.
Speaker 2: Probably didn't have air tags in those days either.
Speaker 4: That's true.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't want to be panicked and not knowing
Speaker 6: where it was. If I'd lost it, I would have
Speaker 6: gone to water.
Speaker 4: So then I booked a weekend.
Speaker 6: Away and it was in the Blue Mountains in Sydney,
Speaker 6: and probably already that wasn't out of character for us,
Speaker 6: so there wasn't any reason to be suspicious there. But yes,
Speaker 6: I had organized a collage of like photos of all
Speaker 6: of us together and I'd had it made into a
Speaker 6: jigsaw puzzle and down in the bottom right hand corner
Speaker 6: of the jigsaw put or was you know, will you
Speaker 6: marry me?
Speaker 4: But the way that's sort of like how do you
Speaker 4: get into that? On the morning of, like, hey, do
Speaker 4: you want to do a jigsaw? I hadn't thought that
Speaker 4: far ahead.
Speaker 6: I was like, this is so cute, and I was like,
Speaker 6: how the hell would I get us to do a jigsaw.
Speaker 2: Radio?
Speaker 4: Exactly right?
Speaker 6: You would have thought I would have been better, but
Speaker 6: I And that's exactly how badly it went.
Speaker 4: In fact, I think reading books and were watching to.
Speaker 1: Watch a movie, and I was like, yeah, and we
Speaker 1: start watching the movie, but he's not watching the movie.
Speaker 5: He's so distracted. And I was like, what is going on?
Speaker 1: And I, at this point I still really didn't know,
Speaker 1: And I said, what is going on with you? Like
Speaker 1: he said, I don't know, I don't feel like watch
Speaker 1: a movie. I made us a jigsaw puzzle. But to
Speaker 1: be fair, he was so was is but more was
Speaker 1: so romantic. It did so many cute things like that
Speaker 1: that it really was normal that he would just make
Speaker 1: a jigsaw of photos of us. So I still didn't
Speaker 1: know he was proposing.
Speaker 6: No, Because so I put together the jigs, but I
Speaker 6: left the little corner like hidden under, like on the side,
Speaker 6: so as we're getting through this jig, so we can
Speaker 6: blatantly see this is whole corner.
Speaker 4: Have you missed somebody?
Speaker 5: Did you start with the corners?
Speaker 1: That's how you do, Adrian, there's only three corners here.
Speaker 1: You're setting me after getting really pissed off.
Speaker 4: No, maybe I have left some pieces at home or something.
Speaker 6: So we get the whole thing done, and of course
Speaker 6: then the corner is, oh, there was these extra pieces
Speaker 6: that were under the plate.
Speaker 4: Oh, I get there. That's weird.
Speaker 6: And then we put it together and then Ash realized
Speaker 6: and then was overjoyed, calling mom straight away and it's happened,
Speaker 6: and it was all very exciting and it was lovely.
Speaker 1: And but that week that week my mom did call
Speaker 1: and I was chatting. She lives in Melbourne, and I said, oh,
Speaker 1: Adrian and I might we might come for dinner on Friday.
Speaker 1: And said, oh, that's lovely. I'll get to see Adrian
Speaker 1: twice in the week. What do you mean he's coming
Speaker 1: over to have a chat with me on Wednesday? Right,
Speaker 1: And I just said, oh, let's just pretend this conversation
Speaker 1: never happened show.
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that's a good idea because.
Speaker 6: Although I am the modern man, I'm a bit old school.
Speaker 6: And I was like, I'm going to ask for permission
Speaker 6: or permission of sorts at least have a conversation. And yeah,
Speaker 6: so yeah, we had a little dinner that night, and
Speaker 6: she was wildly against the idea, and somehow I convinced
Speaker 6: yesterdays disgusting.
Speaker 3: You paid her off?
Speaker 2: What have you? What have you done with the jigsaw puzzle?
Speaker 2: Is it framed somewhere?
Speaker 5: Well, we've moved.
Speaker 4: In this little life.
Speaker 6: It will be in a bag and it will be
Speaker 6: with the receipt for the ring and the spification of
Speaker 6: the somewhere together.
Speaker 4: Nice, yeah, exactly, and we'll get.
Speaker 6: It out again one day and we'll try and put
Speaker 6: it together again.
Speaker 1: He was very, very good with stuff like that, especially
Speaker 1: in that first kind of year that we're living in
Speaker 1: different cities, so we had to find opportunities to special
Speaker 1: moments in albums.
Speaker 6: It was book remember, with all the thing I stayed
Speaker 6: up like like like scrapbooking this book together that I
Speaker 6: stayed up, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: Anyway, it was.
Speaker 5: The things you do when you're forore, when you're young
Speaker 5: and in love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right, so we were we were we were
Speaker 2: young too, getting getting together. I think I asked Eli
Speaker 2: to marry me after three months, so you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was very and I did the same thing
Speaker 3: Ash when I when I saw Cam on Perfect Match
Speaker 3: and I was sixteen, I said, I'm going to marry
Speaker 3: that guy one day. Yes, but I think a million
Speaker 3: other women yeah too, And I just somehow or another
Speaker 3: I cut through.
Speaker 1: Well, my first Ti'm going to marry was Ricky Martin,
Speaker 1: which was not going to happen.
Speaker 2: Maybe never. Yeah, we are a relationship podcast, obviously, it's
Speaker 2: talk about your relationship. A couple of years ago, there
Speaker 2: was a book came out about love languages. Are you guys?
Speaker 2: Is that love language? I roll? Or are your true
Speaker 2: believers in that?
Speaker 1: I grew up in a religious in a Christian family,
Speaker 1: going to church a lot, so I think I kind
Speaker 1: of connect that to religion a little bit, which is
Speaker 1: where the only eye roll would come in. However, I
Speaker 1: think there is some merit to the idea of having great, open,
Speaker 1: honest communication about how you feel love.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, and for me, it's what do you think of mine?
Speaker 5: Do you know them? All? It's words aboutimation. That's a
Speaker 5: service quality time.
Speaker 4: Gifts, gifts some.
Speaker 6: Isn't it the phys physical touch, physical touch that should
Speaker 6: be in there.
Speaker 4: Well, I know that.
Speaker 5: Gifts, but not.
Speaker 6: Not even like physical gifts. Giving you like a fancy diamond.
Speaker 6: That's not like a gift of like I've given you
Speaker 6: two hours on your own to go and get a massage.
Speaker 4: Is that to you is like something?
Speaker 1: And you've been really good because because Adrian isn't really
Speaker 1: one for gifts, early on, he.
Speaker 6: Also tight and I don't like to spend on things
Speaker 6: that are going to end up in a drawer that
Speaker 6: we're never going to look at again.
Speaker 1: But he got on board very early, and there's been
Speaker 1: a couple of kind of beautiful items that he's as
Speaker 1: well as the things he's made me over the years,
Speaker 1: a couple of beautiful things he's bought which meant so
Speaker 1: much more because I know that you think it's ridiculous.
Speaker 6: And I think you know that mine is like acts
Speaker 6: of service to the one when you're like do around
Speaker 6: the house doing things. But my favorite bit is like
Speaker 6: you like to just remind me that you've done those
Speaker 6: things so that I recognize the acts of service.
Speaker 4: Did you say that I clean the kitchen, babe.
Speaker 1: Yes, because it does not come remotely naturally to me.
Speaker 1: I don't even notice the mess.
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, okay, so my husband is right here. It's
Speaker 3: a private joke between me and the kids as well.
Speaker 3: Maybe it won't be anymore. I think cams onto it
Speaker 3: every time my husband vacuums and we have this wonderful
Speaker 3: dice and clean it. And I'm not kidding. Every time
Speaker 3: he comes and shows me what he's vacuum how much
Speaker 3: he's filled the vacuum thing up every single time, and
Speaker 3: it's like I have to go, that's amazing, honey.
Speaker 5: Because we need feedback, we need glory in our DNA.
Speaker 2: But this is this is where the Dyson, and I'm
Speaker 2: going to give them their kudos right here, their props
Speaker 2: where they're due. We've had so many crap vacuums we have, yeah, right,
Speaker 2: and then our goes and spends all this money on
Speaker 2: a Dyson.
Speaker 3: I was sick and tired of having crap vacuums, and.
Speaker 2: She buys us like it was all about the money, really,
Speaker 2: because it was like, really, is that going to be
Speaker 2: better than the cog in one? You know? And anyway,
Speaker 2: so I use the diceon and holy crowd, it absolutely.
Speaker 3: Had it for a year. I think we could probably
Speaker 3: not still show.
Speaker 2: But I still want to because we've got a We've
Speaker 2: got a thin as a chip carpet that's just along
Speaker 2: along a hallway and it's probably about I don't know,
Speaker 2: maybe it's twenty feet long. I don't know the amount
Speaker 2: of ship that comes out of that carpet.
Speaker 4: I can't.
Speaker 2: It fills up the whole tub, and I'm like.
Speaker 5: You get to look at the tub and empty the
Speaker 5: filter pets. It's even worse, right.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, But I honestly I feel like James Bond
Speaker 2: emptying a cartridge, because it's like, you know all this stuff,
Speaker 2: put it away and.
Speaker 5: You're here you.
Speaker 2: I feel like, because I think I need a dice,
Speaker 2: as I need a dice in leather holster down my leg.
Speaker 3: An ambassador to to dice.
Speaker 4: Talking about it, we might get one these things. Ever, honestly,
Speaker 4: I love them so much.
Speaker 6: If my acts of if my love language ever becomes gifts,
Speaker 6: I would like to be gifted a dyce And because
Speaker 6: that would do two things for me.
Speaker 4: It would it means I get to clean easier.
Speaker 1: He just got me the air rat for Christmas, so
Speaker 1: that we've you know, we've spent.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we might be done for a little
Speaker 3: bit with the vacuum. Adrian has your has your view
Speaker 3: on love? Has it evolved over the years. Did you
Speaker 3: have to unlearn something from once now that you're married
Speaker 3: and you're you've been together for seven years or is
Speaker 3: it has it evolved at all since you were like
Speaker 3: a younger fella.
Speaker 6: Well, all I will say is that I guess there, Okay,
Speaker 6: I have to I might need to just give some context.
Speaker 6: But my my first wife, Lauren, passed away in twenty fourteen,
Speaker 6: so I was married and that was sort of the
Speaker 6: formative part of our life was in the younger years.
Speaker 6: So I've almost kind of had this two lives, right
Speaker 6: and when that happened, and at that point, you know
Speaker 6: when people are like, you'll find someone again, or you know,
Speaker 6: you will have an open heart again, and in that moment,
Speaker 6: you're kind of like, I definitely won't, you know, because
Speaker 6: it's raw and it's real, and you just like, I
Speaker 6: absolutely won't and I'll never find that person again. And
Speaker 6: there were a few people that were like, you need
Speaker 6: to understand that, you know, the heart can like it
Speaker 6: has so much capacity to like love so many things
Speaker 6: at once, and you can still love Lauren, and then
Speaker 6: you can love someone else if that person comes along.
Speaker 6: And of course at the time again you're like, I
Speaker 6: just can't see how that's possible. And then someone like
Speaker 6: Ash comes along, and then it starts to make sense
Speaker 6: and you're kind of like, yeah, okay, right there is
Speaker 6: the heart is a pretty special thing, and it can,
Speaker 6: you know, keep this other part of my life in
Speaker 6: a nice special box and I can still love that
Speaker 6: part of my life and everything that was there. But
Speaker 6: look at this new love that I get to experience.
Speaker 6: And so in lots of ways when I talk about
Speaker 6: this and I say, oh, I'm kind of how lucky
Speaker 6: am I that I got to meet two people, like
Speaker 6: to have two loves of my life because that doesn't
Speaker 6: happen to everyone, and didn't ever think it would happen
Speaker 6: to me, but it has. And yeah, I'm very I guess,
Speaker 6: appreciative and grateful that I was able to get it again.
Speaker 4: But yeah, that's how it's changed for me. It's that
Speaker 4: that kind of standard.
Speaker 6: You know, you meet someone, you stay with that person
Speaker 6: forever and you love them that didn't happen for me,
Speaker 6: but I was absolutely grateful to be able to find
Speaker 6: someone else and open my heart again and make it
Speaker 6: like sort of go through the process and work on
Speaker 6: myself so that I was able to then give again
Speaker 6: and kind of understand that. So, yeah, it definitely changed
Speaker 6: for me from what I thought it was to what
Speaker 6: it can be when you really like give into it
Speaker 6: and you have someone wonderful in your life that you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. That's really beautiful.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: And now you've been candid about your relationship journey over
Speaker 2: the years. What surprised you most about being married or
Speaker 2: in this long term love.
Speaker 1: I think I never, in a weird way, thought that
Speaker 1: I would never get married, or at least that my
Speaker 1: work would be my kind of my love, and that
Speaker 1: no one got that lucky to have kind of a
Speaker 1: great career and also a great relationship. So I think
Speaker 1: I was surprised first of all to meet and fall
Speaker 1: in love with Adrian so quickly. And I guess I
Speaker 1: never expected that. I mean, some people, after hearing what
Speaker 1: Adrian just shared, would maybe expect that our love would
Speaker 1: be quite complicated, that it would have been a very complicated,
Speaker 1: hard thing for us to find common ground and move
Speaker 1: forward together. And I think I maybe was just the
Speaker 1: most surprising thing was that we were able to like
Speaker 1: very quickly find so much common ground and be honest
Speaker 1: and simplify what should have been a really complicated relationship.
Speaker 1: And still a lot of people like, oh, how does
Speaker 1: that work? Like do you get jealous of her? Or
Speaker 1: you know, so there's all these things. Maybe when I
Speaker 1: went into it initially thought oh, this could be messy,
Speaker 1: but it hasn't been kind of messy at all. So
Speaker 1: I'm kind of really proud of us for that, And
Speaker 1: a lot of that is a testament to kind of
Speaker 1: Adrian really doing the work and us having a lot
Speaker 1: of kind of very honest conversations. And I also like
Speaker 1: never thought that love could be so fulfilling, Like I
Speaker 1: really did think that my work would fulfill me and
Speaker 1: love would kind of be the cherry on top. But
Speaker 1: I think the relationship that we have is extremely fulfilling,
Speaker 1: even in all of its different stages and phases, Like
Speaker 1: it's changed so much. Like when you're two young people
Speaker 1: who were very much in love and not even living
Speaker 1: in the same city, there's all that excitement, and you know,
Speaker 1: like when are we gonna be together.
Speaker 5: We're gonna get three days and then we're gonna have
Speaker 5: two weeks.
Speaker 1: Off and we're gonna you know, we had great jobs,
Speaker 1: We're earning great money. We had no kids, so we
Speaker 1: had so much disposable cash to take these ridiculous like
Speaker 1: overseas trips, and we just really lived it up, which
Speaker 1: I think is really important, especially when you know, you
Speaker 1: go through what Adrian goes through, like you live your
Speaker 1: life then and you really enjoy it, and then you know,
Speaker 1: there comes phases in life where you know, with COVID
Speaker 1: and then with a baby, and you know, and things
Speaker 1: change and your life changes. And I just didn't think
Speaker 1: it would be so easy to kind of ride through
Speaker 1: the ups and downs because I'd never been like that before.
Speaker 1: I'd needed things to always be as I wanted them
Speaker 1: and easy, and I needed to control it and make
Speaker 1: sure we had I had everything that I wanted and
Speaker 1: didn't have to wait for anything, and never had really discomfort.
Speaker 5: You know, I kind of built my.
Speaker 1: Life around well, I can just fix everything and make
Speaker 1: everything amazing. But you know, we've had some tough times.
Speaker 1: But like and I always say, as lame as it
Speaker 1: sounds like, as hard as life has been for us
Speaker 1: with so much moving and job changes and we YadA YadA, yadda,
Speaker 1: loving each other has always been extremely easy, so like
Speaker 1: the ability to kind of ride those waves. And the
Speaker 1: one thing, and I know it would be the same
Speaker 1: for you, Like, the one thing I know to be
Speaker 1: true even when everything goes to shit, is that I've
Speaker 1: got his back, he's got my back. That like we're
Speaker 1: a team, and that I think is something I never
Speaker 1: expected to get because I was always so fickle in
Speaker 1: the past about men to be perfectly honest, Like I
Speaker 1: just thought they were like a bit lame. But I
Speaker 1: found this person that for one, I don't even know
Speaker 1: how to quantify. I don't know what it is. It's
Speaker 1: just a thing where it's like, yeah, you piss me
Speaker 1: off and we're so different and you take way too
Speaker 1: long to choose a car park and it's infuriating.
Speaker 6: It's the first time hearing about that.
Speaker 1: But we're in and I feel so safe in our
Speaker 1: love and so secure, and that I think has been
Speaker 1: the most surprising thing and also the thing I'm proudest of.
Speaker 3: Fantastic, So beautiful, beautiful, little buddy arrived in twenty twenty one,
Speaker 3: Is that correct?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: All right, tell us about him and what has parenthood
Speaker 3: taught you about yourselves?
Speaker 4: Good that I'm extremely impatient patient. I'm so impatient.
Speaker 6: I want everything to happen on my time and I
Speaker 6: want if you know, I've got things that I need
Speaker 6: to do, then I'm so bad at just being like, Okay,
Speaker 6: those things can wait and they I need to be here.
Speaker 6: This is the moment that I'm going to that actually matters,
Speaker 6: and just being in this moment and whatever.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I really struggle with patience.
Speaker 5: I didn't know he was this impatient until we had
Speaker 5: a child.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't know either. I really thought I had
Speaker 6: a bit more under control, and I thought I could.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just thought i'd be able to manage that better.
Speaker 1: Button man, that's what he does for a living. He
Speaker 1: manages people, so I think, and he's very very.
Speaker 5: Good at it.
Speaker 1: So maybe that's part of it, is that you've got
Speaker 1: this little person that you can't I.
Speaker 6: Can't manage performance toddler, No, toddler, right, like, just just
Speaker 6: ready for Kinney on the time schedule that I like
Speaker 6: you to get ready on, not just I want to
Speaker 6: play poor Patrol for twenty minutes and I'm up again.
Speaker 6: Then that's what I feel like I become a bad
Speaker 6: dad is when I'm just like, why am I forcing
Speaker 6: this kid to like be on my time when he
Speaker 6: doesn't know what that means?
Speaker 2: Sorry? How old Buddy's three?
Speaker 5: He's going to be in a couple of bits and
Speaker 5: is so big and old, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, what the heck?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's he's a really smart kid. And I
Speaker 1: think everyone says the kids smart, but I kid really
Speaker 1: is quite smart. So I think we do expect a
Speaker 1: lot from him because he is been talking, like conversationally
Speaker 1: talking since before he's two. So you just kind of
Speaker 1: forget that he's three and a half because I can
Speaker 1: have a conversation within you and you can understand what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, but you don't have the emotional capacity and intelligence.
Speaker 1: You can't you know, you forget that because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know you want us dan, why aren't you well being?
Speaker 1: But he's three so he can't do that. So yeah,
Speaker 1: but you are very impatient, and I've become I'm like
Speaker 1: the patient mum, which I never saw coming.
Speaker 5: Like I'm really zen with.
Speaker 4: Him and I'm working on it, and.
Speaker 5: You're a great but you are a wonderful dead. You're
Speaker 5: a great dead.
Speaker 3: I'm so I remember so vividly the times of just
Speaker 3: we've got three in there, like grown up grown ups,
Speaker 3: but just remembering those moments each time vividly of like
Speaker 3: just going for a walk that should take five and
Speaker 3: it takes you know, an hour and a half, and
Speaker 3: just like, okay, this is really about the stop and
Speaker 3: smell the roses moment where they do want to stop
Speaker 3: and look at the crack and the sidewalk. They do
Speaker 3: want to see if there's a flower or a beetle
Speaker 3: or this, or go back a little bit and they've dropped.
Speaker 3: It's just like shits okay, okay.
Speaker 1: When they tell you like twenty minutes after they dropped it,
Speaker 1: and you're like yeah, and then life will end if
Speaker 1: they don't have it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Whenever I see like little shoes or little toys out
Speaker 3: on a walk, I go, oh, some parents are gonna
Speaker 3: be like, dang, where's the other shoe we had?
Speaker 5: An Adrian can't lose things once. We got a pig
Speaker 5: from a toilet. Library.
Speaker 1: We're living in campbell a whole thorn in Melbourne and
Speaker 1: we've gone for a walk and we came back and
Speaker 1: the pig was gone. And in my mind, I'm like, cool,
Speaker 1: the pig's gone. We pay the four dollars to the
Speaker 1: toy library for the lost pig.
Speaker 6: I looked for the pig for trace those steps. I
Speaker 6: was like, I'm finding this pig.
Speaker 2: Do you guys remember that that ad? It was a
Speaker 2: car commercial where where the woman the mum, had had
Speaker 2: the little stuff to We're in the car and the
Speaker 2: kids thought that they've left it behind, had met that
Speaker 2: was that was ours in the handbag, wasn't it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, she had it in the hand dropped it. But
Speaker 2: the dad's found it now. The dad's the year they
Speaker 2: planned it.
Speaker 3: So the dad could feel good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we need that.
Speaker 2: Dads need that every night we are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Buddy does love his daddy so much. Like
Speaker 1: we had a year we both finished. So I quit
Speaker 1: my radio show when I was pregnant, and Adrian had.
Speaker 4: Also resigned, so we radio company.
Speaker 1: So we had this glorious first year when Buddy came
Speaker 1: where we were at home together and not working and
Speaker 1: it was absolute heaven.
Speaker 5: Like I think as far as maternity leaves go, I don't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine it better because it was just like
Speaker 1: we really were a team. Like there was still the
Speaker 1: moments or I'd be up breastfeeding at one am, staring
Speaker 1: at Adrian snoring and seething, wanting to murder him because
Speaker 1: I you know, he.
Speaker 5: Was happily asleep.
Speaker 4: But but then I wake up.
Speaker 5: Meanwhile the baby, I've re swaddled, the baby's back to sleep,
Speaker 5: and I was just like, just fucking go back to sleep.
Speaker 3: But we were a.
Speaker 1: Real team, and I you know, I don't think I
Speaker 1: was alone with Buddy in that first year, Like they
Speaker 1: just didn't happen. So we had this wonderful yeah, and
Speaker 1: you know, like and going.
Speaker 5: Back to work.
Speaker 1: Adrian was the one to go back to work, and
Speaker 1: that was a really hard transition for you to like
Speaker 1: go from seeing and he was so cute and perfect
Speaker 1: and lovely that first.
Speaker 4: Year around them all the time.
Speaker 1: When they're three and a half, you're happy to go
Speaker 1: to work and it's good to have a break.
Speaker 3: People at work. They've got it right in those Nordic
Speaker 3: countries because they give paternity leave for a year.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 3: It's so good.
Speaker 6: It was so helpful to have because I got that
Speaker 6: connection as well, and I was able to do some
Speaker 6: of those special things in the early days, so that
Speaker 6: was really cool.
Speaker 1: And he did have a natural knack for it, honestly,
Speaker 1: And like there's still moments in our parenting where Adriane
Speaker 1: is the one to kind of go okay. Ninety percent
Speaker 1: of the time, it's me kind of I think, making
Speaker 1: the decisions around his food and discipline and all those
Speaker 1: sorts of things, because I'm the one reading all the research, YadA, YadA, YadA.
Speaker 1: But there I have been a couple of times where
Speaker 1: Adrians not put his foot down but said, I actually
Speaker 1: sense that maybe he needs something different, So can you
Speaker 1: kind of trust me on this, like with his sleep,
Speaker 1: And usually yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 5: Hate to admit it.
Speaker 1: And often Agent does have a kind of bet not
Speaker 1: a better sense, but maybe a sense that's more kind
Speaker 1: of trained to what buddy really does need in that moment,
Speaker 1: as opposed to me getting sometimes too caught up in
Speaker 1: woll statistics say and experts say, and boy, we need
Speaker 1: to do this this, and that was Agent and be like, well,
Speaker 1: how about we just try this, and I have to
Speaker 1: go okay. Like, there's been moments where I've disagreed with him,
Speaker 1: but gone, cool, we're going to I'm going to shut
Speaker 1: up and we're going to do it your way, and
Speaker 1: usually it works.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, I wonder with this proliferation of Instagram experts
Speaker 2: and all these different people putting all this info and
Speaker 2: intel that that some of it's really good. I'm sure, well,
Speaker 2: I know it is. I know it's good. Yet when
Speaker 2: we were raising our kids, the Internet wasn't around. It
Speaker 2: was for the last two but not not for for loaders,
Speaker 2: and certainly before that, parents had to just go on instinct,
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 4: Books you just read books, just res what.
Speaker 2: To expect when you're expecting class of stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I read that book.
Speaker 5: I read obviously.
Speaker 2: This wasn't it you. I think small.
Speaker 1: I think women are really these days, we're taught to
Speaker 1: not trust our instincts because there's so much kind of
Speaker 1: conflicting information out there or really points of view, so
Speaker 1: that I think if we have another one, I think
Speaker 1: my approach will be a lot more instinctual rather than
Speaker 1: like I just beat myself up so much to do
Speaker 1: everything by the book, like he has to sleep this
Speaker 1: way and he's got to not do this before that.
Speaker 1: I knew every rule and I would read the research. Again,
Speaker 1: I'm not just like talking about listening to instagrammers.
Speaker 5: I really would, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think it was part of maybe a reaction
Speaker 1: to COVID as well, and the fear that existed back then,
Speaker 1: where it was just like, Okay, well, I can't control anything,
Speaker 1: but what I can do is make sure that every
Speaker 1: single thing I do for this baby is by the book,
Speaker 1: so that there's no so that I can't say that
Speaker 1: anything I did was wrong. And that was how I
Speaker 1: kind of controlled and as a result, we had this
Speaker 1: like really amazing kid who thrived off routine and YadA, YadA, YadA,
Speaker 1: but at the expense maybe at times of my sanity,
Speaker 1: because I was just doing too much and maybe holding
Speaker 1: myself to a standard that wasn't possible.
Speaker 6: And I'm probably the one that just like pushes the
Speaker 6: next like what's the like the next development, Like like
Speaker 6: seven months, I was like, let's get buddy out of
Speaker 6: the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Waited till I was so sick that I couldn't lift
Speaker 1: my head out of the pillow, and said should we
Speaker 1: move him out of our room? And I grunted and
Speaker 1: then fell asleep, and by the time I woke up,
Speaker 1: he had a nursery set up downstairs.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's exactly how that went. But I knew that
Speaker 6: was the only way that this was going to happen.
Speaker 6: And then we're going to have to do some sort
Speaker 6: of a clean break here, And then I was prepared
Speaker 6: for like what that was going to mean, Like, yeah,
Speaker 6: we're going to do the control crying and we're going
Speaker 6: to have to do the like down in one in
Speaker 6: the room. It was going to be hell, but it
Speaker 6: was going to be better in the long run. So
Speaker 6: I'm sort of more up for the we've got to
Speaker 6: do this now, and it's going to be a bit harder.
Speaker 1: And then whereas his buddy would still be in my
Speaker 1: room if it was up to me, because I'm just
Speaker 1: it's you know, and that and the sleep training, which
Speaker 1: is is very controversial, and I think it took one
Speaker 1: night for buddy to get it, and if it had
Speaker 1: taken any more, there's no way I would have pushed through.
Speaker 5: But on that one night, and one night only.
Speaker 1: That we had to let him cry, or had chosen
Speaker 1: to let him cry, he was in our room still
Speaker 1: and I lay in bed, sobbing, absolutely sobbing, and Adrian's
Speaker 1: a whisper because you have to whispers in Adrian's like
Speaker 1: can you you need to pull yourself together, And I
Speaker 1: was like, fuck you, you don't understand.
Speaker 3: I burnt him. It is by a lot.
Speaker 5: And we have his full on fight whisper under the covers, just.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, whisper, yeah, And then he got it was
Speaker 3: rests of pumping, pumping, He's crying because like the body's responding,
Speaker 3: and yeah.
Speaker 5: Totally totally.
Speaker 1: That was the kind of I think that was that
Speaker 1: that was maybe the one point in that kind of
Speaker 1: newborn phase that we really did kind of clash. But again,
Speaker 1: I'm proud that I was able to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you're his father, so I can't. I have to relinquish
Speaker 1: some control here and do things your way. And thankfully,
Speaker 1: like it actually changed all of our lives. And he,
Speaker 1: you know, sodden sleeping through and loved it and you know,
Speaker 1: so it was it was a good thing.
Speaker 5: But yeah, that that whisper fight.
Speaker 3: It's a different it's a different life when they start
Speaker 3: sleeping and you're sleeping, it's just like a different world.
Speaker 3: It's so exciting to wake up and see the baby again,
Speaker 3: like you haven't spent all night and feel like a vampire,
Speaker 3: you know, you know, wake it two, three, four or
Speaker 3: five in the morning, it's like, oh.
Speaker 6: And when it does happen, it felt like it did happen,
Speaker 6: Like like you go from like it not happening.
Speaker 4: So then you're waking up one morning and going do
Speaker 4: we just get eight hours of sleep? What the heck is?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 6: As you say ad a game changer, You're just like, well,
Speaker 6: it's been eight months or tens or whatever it was.
Speaker 6: I was just get a life back now. And then
Speaker 6: there's the other fifteen things that come after that.
Speaker 4: Something.
Speaker 6: Every single time you're like, just when you get on
Speaker 6: top of it, bang and you back down to the
Speaker 6: next thing.
Speaker 4: Whatever it is.
Speaker 3: You guys have moved to New Zealand. How long ago
Speaker 3: was that?
Speaker 6: November last year? November twenty twenty four. I came across
Speaker 6: for just a little bit by myself to start with.
Speaker 2: And then this is for work, Yeah, this is for work.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So we're at Media works over here, so two big
Speaker 6: sort of media companies and we're at one of those,
Speaker 6: and yes, I guess again. It sort of just started
Speaker 6: with a conversation with me about do I want to
Speaker 6: sort of out of radio, but not very far out
Speaker 6: doing some other things. And then it was yeah, do
Speaker 6: you want to do you want to come back, come
Speaker 6: over here and have a bit of a crack And
Speaker 6: my immediate response was no, thanks, not really interested in that.
Speaker 6: But the more we talked about the opportunity and the
Speaker 6: more interesting it sounded working with some brands that I'd
Speaker 6: never worked with, and the challenges that they had in
Speaker 6: some of the parts of the business, I was.
Speaker 5: Like, do you like fixing things? That's what people like
Speaker 5: to do.
Speaker 6: I love seeing's broken. So yeah, that happened, and then
Speaker 6: of course it very quickly became about a conversation of us, Okay,
Speaker 6: well what does that look like for both of us?
Speaker 6: And yeah, they were fantastic in talking about They're obviously
Speaker 6: very exciting.
Speaker 4: They're like, oh, we're going to get you in a
Speaker 4: get ash London as well. How good.
Speaker 6: So yeah, we started to really talk about what that
Speaker 6: looked like and if it made sense for both of us.
Speaker 6: Once we got to the end of that, then we
Speaker 6: would go, well, this is a good opportunity because no,
Speaker 6: it wasn't on the Bingo card to live in New
Speaker 6: Zealand and we just are a bit crazy like that,
Speaker 6: And honestly, we've come here and people are like, what
Speaker 6: do you mean you moved from Melbourne to Auckland, Like
Speaker 6: everybody's trying to go the other way and new idiots
Speaker 6: coming over here, and I just someone said the exact
Speaker 6: same thing for me just before, and they're like, but
Speaker 6: you know what, you could be the outlie. You could
Speaker 6: show everyone how it's gone. It is possible to go
Speaker 6: from there to there. We're like, well, we're working on
Speaker 6: it because we.
Speaker 4: Do love it.
Speaker 6: We love the lifestyle, and we love the people, and
Speaker 6: Buddy loves kindie and the little.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of today, like the Maori language over here.
Speaker 1: I feel like those little performances for us. And then
Speaker 1: the other day he did easy performance and at.
Speaker 5: The end of your guest and we're like, and it's
Speaker 5: so cool, but it's.
Speaker 1: So bad as totally like love. Early on he said
Speaker 1: I think, I like he I don't know. It's something
Speaker 1: I did something naughty And he said, Mummy, that's not
Speaker 1: showing Manaki Tangua.
Speaker 5: And I'm like, I.
Speaker 1: Get out of my phone Google, I respect for your environment. No,
Speaker 1: you're right, Mummy, wasn't showing manakitanga. I apologize, buddy.
Speaker 4: That's great for us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and as you're you're back on air again in
Speaker 2: New Zealand.
Speaker 5: Yes, so I'm doing.
Speaker 2: How's that for you?
Speaker 5: It's great it's been again.
Speaker 1: I didn't think I kind of I would return, but
Speaker 1: the opportunity came up and they've been wonderful. Let me
Speaker 1: kind of do it on my own terms and on
Speaker 1: my own timeline and in a time of day that
Speaker 1: suits me. I get to kind of go back to
Speaker 1: doing what I love, which is the interviews and the
Speaker 1: music stuff, and I do my podcast from out of
Speaker 1: here as well. So it's given me really nice structure
Speaker 1: again because I've just kind of written my debut novel,
Speaker 1: Love on the Air, which just came out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we want to talk about that, we want to
Speaker 2: touch on that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it took up a lot of time.
Speaker 1: So it's good now to have a bit of structure
Speaker 1: again and to be able to kind of have my
Speaker 1: day set out as opposed to just this kind of
Speaker 1: big hundred thousand words. It needs to get written in
Speaker 1: a year, and you do it kind of when you can.
Speaker 5: So we're all very happy here.
Speaker 3: Do you share a lot sort of either through the
Speaker 3: podcast or radio about your life together, or do you
Speaker 3: have like agreements of like this is private time, this
Speaker 3: is not going to get shared.
Speaker 1: Or you know, we both work in radio. It's all
Speaker 1: kind of just okay. Yeah, there's one or two things
Speaker 1: that would make the best on air content of all time,
Speaker 1: the best phone topics.
Speaker 5: It would go viral and Instagram.
Speaker 4: Yeah, got it.
Speaker 2: There is.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there is a couple of ground Yeah, on a
Speaker 6: few of the bitches. I'm sure there is with lots
Speaker 6: of people that have, you know, talent, like talent.
Speaker 4: On the air, and we're lucky in that we get Yeah,
Speaker 4: we can.
Speaker 1: And we've always really worked when at one point Adrian
Speaker 1: was running Kiss Melbourne and that was the first time
Speaker 1: that we'd ever not worked at the same radio company.
Speaker 1: We'd always kind of work together, and he'd never been
Speaker 1: my boss. He'd been like across other you know, like
Speaker 1: I was on a national show and he was, you know,
Speaker 1: running Fox. So I was like, well, it's not really
Speaker 1: my boss. And again, you know in New Zealand, we're
Speaker 1: like working. I think it's what you do best. We
Speaker 1: kind of work together, but not together, Like I love
Speaker 1: coming to work and being able to visit his desk
Speaker 1: when I feel like it, like that really suits me.
Speaker 5: And I love.
Speaker 1: My PRODUCTIY, so times a day I walk over there
Speaker 1: looking for him.
Speaker 2: So if you had to swatch swap jobs for the day,
Speaker 2: who would do better? What would happen?
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I could never ever I do his job,
Speaker 5: no way.
Speaker 1: Adrian oversees three radio brands and has to deal with
Speaker 1: there's so much you know, task switching that has to
Speaker 1: exist in his mind. The only bit I'd be good
Speaker 1: at would be the person knocking on my door to
Speaker 1: talk about their feelings. Like I'd be like, come on
Speaker 1: in and sit down. But I would get so emotionally
Speaker 1: involved in that. Adrian can separate, and he's very good
Speaker 1: with the emotional stuff, But I would be like, just
Speaker 1: move in with us for a month so you and
Speaker 1: I can work through that. You know, I would get
Speaker 1: very you know, into it. I can't separate the emotions.
Speaker 6: There's lots of benefits to being married to talent or
Speaker 6: personalities that are on the air, Like, you know, I
Speaker 6: get to get a first hand view of kind of
Speaker 6: all the things that I'm going to then face at
Speaker 6: work with. You know, there's egos and there's there's lots
Speaker 6: of interesting things that happen there, So I get I
Speaker 6: get a bit more experience with that, I guess, but yeah,
Speaker 6: if we were, I mean I would be and I was,
Speaker 6: so I did.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I did like five years on the air back in
Speaker 6: the day, guys saf Adelaide, Yeah yeah, guy or something, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: and I was. I was reasonably terrible at it. And
Speaker 6: it's certainly in a show environment where you're having to
Speaker 6: like really draw on experience and like Ashes Superpower is
Speaker 6: you know, and I say this a lot with just
Speaker 6: programming people. You know, you've got to have lived a
Speaker 6: bit of a life to sort of get on the
Speaker 6: air and talk about things. And when you can draw
Speaker 6: on a story from any any situation, you've oh yeah,
Speaker 6: I know, I met that guy once or oh yeah, no,
Speaker 6: I've also experienced that thing once and you've got a
Speaker 6: great example and that leads to a great story. Like
Speaker 6: that is Ashes superpower without a doubt, there just seems
Speaker 6: to be always something that Ash can go and I
Speaker 6: just don't have that.
Speaker 4: I just be like, oh.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't have any good examples of that.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty boring generally, So yeah, there's a definite, definite
Speaker 4: difference there.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of stories. Then your books come out Love
Speaker 2: on the Air, and you've said that it's definitely not
Speaker 2: an autobiography, but clearly by.
Speaker 3: It we could says.
Speaker 2: By true events. Were you ever? Were you ever? Did
Speaker 2: you ever think, oh, maybe I should write an autobiography
Speaker 2: or is it just a lot easier just to make
Speaker 2: it into a novel.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm I mean, I'm nearly forty,
Speaker 1: so I've done a lot of living.
Speaker 5: I still think I'm twenty, but I'm not.
Speaker 1: I just feel like if I did an autobiography, I'd
Speaker 1: have to revise it in five years, because the one
Speaker 1: thing I've learned is that whatever you think to be
Speaker 1: true can change so quickly.
Speaker 5: And I just feel like I've got so much more
Speaker 5: living to do.
Speaker 1: But I do feel like, you know, the career I've
Speaker 1: had in radio so far has been so ridiculous. Like
Speaker 1: the joys of doing a night show is that you
Speaker 1: just get to do whatever you want with no real pressure.
Speaker 1: And I did it in kind of like well, I
Speaker 1: was at the tail end of the of the commercial
Speaker 1: radio endless budget glory days where it was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's an interview with Harry Starles. Well, we could do
Speaker 1: it on the phone. But you know what, it'd be
Speaker 1: better if you just go to LA for a week
Speaker 1: and that we did that there. Now it would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: can we afford the Telstra connection to do it on Zoo?
Speaker 4: Maybe not?
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: So I had all these kind of ridiculous you know,
Speaker 1: I had a ridiculous career, and then it wasn't until
Speaker 1: Matt leave that I kind of got some distance from it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, when my life was very mundane
Speaker 1: and ordinary and beautiful, I looked like, kind of look
Speaker 1: back on it, and I was like, man, that was
Speaker 1: some crazier stuff I did.
Speaker 5: Like, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: And also, you know, the idea that Adrian and I,
Speaker 1: against all odds, kind of you know, found each other
Speaker 1: and made it work. What could have been really complicated
Speaker 1: and messy and hard was actually really beautiful and I think,
Speaker 1: you know, quite redemptive and amazing. So with that in mind,
Speaker 1: I kind of, you know, I just started writing. And
Speaker 1: the first scene that I wrote was kind of based
Speaker 1: and a time that I got dumped and I thought
Speaker 1: I was gonna marry this person, and I knocked on
Speaker 1: my auntie and uncle's door. They lived in Marubra around
Speaker 1: the corner from me, and I was balled and they
Speaker 1: opened the door and said, come on in, what's happened.
Speaker 1: And I ended up living with them like two years
Speaker 1: after that while they kind of you know, nursed my wounds.
Speaker 1: And so, yeah, my Auntie May and Uncle Billy the
Speaker 1: characters in this story because this person, you know, has
Speaker 1: the job of their dreams, but they're still technically living
Speaker 1: at home.
Speaker 5: So little things like that.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, like the love story's based based on
Speaker 1: kind of like ten percent, but really, like you've heard it.
Speaker 5: If if our love story was a.
Speaker 1: Rom com novel, it would be one page long. It
Speaker 1: would be like she went to the party and saw
Speaker 1: him and they got married and that's the end. Like,
Speaker 1: so I had to put some drama into it. I
Speaker 1: had to invent some radio nemesis. I'd never had a
Speaker 1: radio nemesis, unfortunately, but I invented one of those. And
Speaker 1: we had to kind of create some drama around it
Speaker 1: and put some celebrities in there and build a story.
Speaker 1: And it was it was so so fun, but inevitably,
Speaker 1: you know, people like when our friends read it, they say, Ash,
Speaker 1: you just got to tell me straight up, like do
Speaker 1: I need to prepare myself to imagine you and Adrian
Speaker 1: having sex, like you've got to warn me because that's
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. But I kept it pretty tame for
Speaker 1: the first book for that reason because I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: people are gonna of course they're going to imagine us.
Speaker 2: So first book is there's a second one.
Speaker 4: You were into it, ha ha ha.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've started writing another one, yeah, which is
Speaker 1: a totally different experience because you're not you know, it's
Speaker 1: very easy to kind of write what you know. I'm
Speaker 1: the only like research really that I had to do
Speaker 1: on the first book was really fun stuff like okay,
Speaker 1: well if someone was going to fly to the mold
Speaker 1: Eves first class from Sydney, what airline, what aircraft, what
Speaker 1: would the menu be, and what would the cabin look
Speaker 1: like and what kind of champagne would they order?
Speaker 5: And that was really fun research.
Speaker 1: And you know, we'd stayed at the London Edition on
Speaker 1: a trip to London once, so I'll I'll base it
Speaker 1: at that hotel because it's a really chic hotel, but.
Speaker 5: You know, what would the most expensive room beer?
Speaker 1: And then I'd be on the Tell website like getting
Speaker 1: the virtual tour like that was fun research. The second
Speaker 1: book I'm working on is something I don't know, so
Speaker 1: the research has been totally different and the experience has
Speaker 1: been totally different. And I feel like now I kind
Speaker 1: of know how to write a book. Where is the
Speaker 1: first time? I just you know, you just throw shit
Speaker 1: at a wall and see what sticks. But you know,
Speaker 1: and I'm really happy with how it turned out. But
Speaker 1: now I know a bit more.
Speaker 3: Adrian, have you recovered from having the book dedicated to you?
Speaker 6: Yet?
Speaker 4: Ah?
Speaker 6: Well, not really no, because I cried, I think like
Speaker 6: a little baby when I saw that.
Speaker 3: Who else?
Speaker 1: See if it was the other way around, I would
Speaker 1: look at that and go, well, obviously, duh, where was
Speaker 1: you were shocked?
Speaker 6: I was shocked, But I mean there was a lot
Speaker 6: of late night work, shopping story boarding.
Speaker 5: He's amazing.
Speaker 4: Yes, I was pretty good.
Speaker 5: He's got a really great sense of story. And that's
Speaker 5: why he's.
Speaker 1: Good at at you know, being in creative in radio
Speaker 1: and helping his content arts work. And he always had
Speaker 1: the key when I got stuck, and I would kill
Speaker 1: me because sometimes I'd wait three or four, five, six
Speaker 1: days to ask him, and then I've been lying in
Speaker 1: bed at night.
Speaker 5: I'd be like, you're awake, Yeah, what do you need?
Speaker 1: And then we'd roll over towards each other and then
Speaker 1: he'd always what about if she did this? And I go, yep,
Speaker 1: thank you.
Speaker 5: Then I go and write it every time.
Speaker 3: That's so good, that's great.
Speaker 4: It was. Yeah, it was magic to watch just the
Speaker 4: ideas come to life. It was so good. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 4: all right, Well the books out.
Speaker 2: Love on the Air is out, and we got to
Speaker 2: get it because I have a feeling I'm going to
Speaker 2: really enjoy reading.
Speaker 3: You'll relate, honey, You're relate stuff in there your mind.
Speaker 5: Maybe you'll recognize some of the bad guys.
Speaker 4: Guys on this podcast.
Speaker 2: You're going to create a radio nemesis right now. Hey,
Speaker 2: we do a wrap but heartbeat wind up for the
Speaker 2: potty and so just both answer the question please and
Speaker 2: just keep your answer.
Speaker 3: Sure, ye okay, if you go, what brings you joy?
Speaker 4: Time together with family and friends.
Speaker 7: Food, it's so good in New Zealand, so cheap.
Speaker 2: Okay. What's one habit you each do that the other
Speaker 2: finds adorable?
Speaker 5: About to say?
Speaker 2: Sighing, adorable, adorable, adorable, m nice harmony.
Speaker 5: Oh I've got one.
Speaker 1: He's become obsessed with golf, so he thinks I don't
Speaker 1: know that he's either looking at golf tutorial videos, clubs
Speaker 1: or booking in a tea time on his phone, but
Speaker 1: I can see by the look on his face that
Speaker 1: it's goal related.
Speaker 5: And it's very very cute how much joy it brings in.
Speaker 2: I think the.
Speaker 4: Ash, as I said, it's a very good storyteller.
Speaker 6: And yes, and so when we're out with friends or
Speaker 6: meeting new people, like, yeah, I hear the same stories
Speaker 6: like seventeen times over because this is where we're regaling
Speaker 6: these people with these wonderful stories. And I do often
Speaker 6: give feedback like oh god, I think, But I actually
Speaker 6: secretly love it, obviously, and I find it very adorable
Speaker 6: that we're there and she's got everyone like hanging on
Speaker 6: the edge of the table and then what happened, and
Speaker 6: then what happened?
Speaker 4: And yes, so I do find that adorable.
Speaker 5: I get little air of checks, little air checks.
Speaker 6: Of the story a bit shorter, a few details, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Got it, got it? Uh finish this sentence. What the
Speaker 3: world needs more of.
Speaker 8: Is attitude people like Ash who want to get a
Speaker 8: message out there and are not afraid to talk about
Speaker 8: things that maybe other people find uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: You should don't want to slide some golf references.
Speaker 4: More discounted.
Speaker 2: All right, last question. One word to describe each other integrism.
Speaker 4: I think joyful is the word for ash joyful.
Speaker 2: Thanks, We've loved this chat. Thank you so much.
Speaker 5: Pleasure, Thank you so much. Guys.
Speaker 1: Always a pleasure talking about wonderful things.
Speaker 4: Really great to talk to you. Thanks for the time.