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Speaker 1: Adrian and I, against all odds kind of you know,

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Speaker 1: found each other and made it work. What could have

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Speaker 1: been really complicated and messy and hard was actually really

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Speaker 1: beautiful and I think, you know, quite redemptive and amazing.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the heart of it. We are recording on

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Speaker 2: gaddigal Land High. Sweetheart.

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Speaker 3: Hello, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm good. Hey, we'll get straight into the chat,

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Speaker 2: shall we. Today's guests are not just media legends, They're

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Speaker 2: people who have built deep, meaningful relationships on and off

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Speaker 2: the air.

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Speaker 4: Hey.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Ash London and Adrian Bryan are here to talk

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Speaker 2: about love, friendship, connection and what we don't always say

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Speaker 2: out loud.

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Speaker 3: Right, that's very deep of you, honey.

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Speaker 4: Hi guys, I wasn't nervous until now we're going.

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Speaker 5: Adrian straight straight has gone through our text.

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Speaker 2: I actually pulled the last bit off a media release

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Speaker 2: from you two, so you can blame that one on

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Speaker 2: your publicist. Love that, because I'm curious about that thing.

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Speaker 4: But what we don't always say out loud?

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Speaker 5: What's that like?

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Speaker 1: Have you got it in front of you in some

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Speaker 1: sort of as a producer pulled it from something and

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Speaker 1: just pasted onto a fact sheet.

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Speaker 2: Via email from our producer who's known we've just found

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Speaker 2: out is known as producer X.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's that from a Tibetan book of relationships or something.

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Speaker 6: Maybe sounds like maybe from AI, guys, and I don't

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Speaker 6: believe it.

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Speaker 4: Misquoted.

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Speaker 3: I think that could be closer to the truth.

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Speaker 2: Actually, well, I think the best actors are the ones

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Speaker 2: that use very little words and you can just get

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Speaker 2: the vibe off them. So this is radio podcasting, so

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Speaker 2: we do need words.

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Speaker 5: That's true.

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Speaker 3: Well, let's just take you back to your beginnings though,

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Speaker 3: because we always love to hear the beginnings of a

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Speaker 3: love story. How did your relationship start?

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Speaker 4: Let's go, babe.

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Speaker 6: I've heard this story about eighteen thousand times.

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Speaker 4: It loves to.

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Speaker 6: Retell the story, and I love to do it to

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Speaker 6: you guys as you are told the story.

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Speaker 4: So let's okay, thank you.

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Speaker 1: So it was the ARIA Awards, and I should know

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Speaker 1: the year twenty sixteen, I think.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 1: I had been working at our radio company doing a

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Speaker 1: night show and I got dumped and I was so

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Speaker 1: heartbroken that I ran away to a desert island and

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Speaker 1: tried to find myself very eat, pray love. Went traveling

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Speaker 1: for a while tried to move to London, couldn't get

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Speaker 1: a v YadA, YadA, YadA. I ran out of money

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Speaker 1: and I got a call from back in Sydney and

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Speaker 1: my manager pretty much said to me, look, ash you're

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Speaker 1: gonna run out of money. If you haven't already, you

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Speaker 1: need to just like wrap this up.

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Speaker 5: Come home. Someone wants to speak to you about a job.

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Speaker 1: So I came home with my tail between my leg

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Speaker 1: kind of thinking I screwed my whole life up by

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Speaker 1: you know, I thought I was going to do all

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Speaker 1: this stuff and I'm coming home with Sydney and I'm

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Speaker 1: broke and no one loves me and I didn't find love,

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Speaker 1: and long story short, I get off at a new show,

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Speaker 1: my own show, The Ashlander Live. I start doing that

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Speaker 1: and then about a month and a half in I

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Speaker 1: met the ARIA Awards.

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Speaker 5: I kind of made a decision that day.

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Speaker 1: I told my producer, I'm going to hook up with

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Speaker 1: someone tonight because I never do that, and yolo, I'm back.

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Speaker 5: You know, I'm thirty, I'm a hook up with someone.

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Speaker 1: Sure And instead of having them yeah, which is so

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Speaker 1: not me, very out of character. But what is very

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Speaker 1: in character? Is it instead of like just randomly hooking

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Speaker 1: up with someone. A man walked in late while the

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Speaker 1: Veronicas were covered in red body glitter and parading around

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Speaker 1: the stage. A man walked in with our big Boss

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Speaker 1: and I said to my friend Angus, who's that And

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Speaker 1: he said, oh, that's that's Abe.

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Speaker 5: I said, what, like, introduce me. I'm going to marry him.

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Speaker 5: I just like and I legitimately like full on.

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Speaker 1: And then the whole night I was like trying to

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Speaker 1: get people because it was like, you know, the r

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Speaker 1: is like you're sitting in your seat and you have

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Speaker 1: to watch the you can't be chatting. We shouldn't be chatting.

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Speaker 1: But I was just like, introduced me, introduce me. So

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Speaker 1: we had to wait till intermission and then we got

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Speaker 1: introduced and yeah, I texted my girlfriends like dodgy photos

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Speaker 1: of him from across the thing.

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Speaker 5: Sad totally and then we shout.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, and then when went out in

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Speaker 3: the group with the group girlfriends, yea, that was you.

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Speaker 5: Once it's with the girls, you're not taking that back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So we found each other at an after party that

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Speaker 1: night at Intercontinental in Sydney and we just kind of

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Speaker 1: found a corner and talked all night and I walked away.

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Speaker 1: Nothing happened, but I just I walked away knowing that

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Speaker 1: I'd met my guy and.

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Speaker 5: We started dating. Living different cities at the time.

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Speaker 6: So yeah, I was I was going away on a

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Speaker 6: trip that I had planned, so some wild oats, but

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Speaker 6: you know there wasn't a chance for that.

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Speaker 2: Was that common denominator here going on? You were looking

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Speaker 2: for wild oats that night as Adrian's planning on grabbing

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Speaker 2: some somewhere. So you're both right for the picking we were.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, totally timing. Timing is everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, when on our first date that was November, it

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Speaker 1: was the kind of January February first date, and we

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Speaker 1: didn't really even have to have a conversation. It was

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Speaker 1: just like, oh, well, this is it. And I was

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Speaker 1: very easy, a very easy thing. And it always had

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Speaker 1: to be, I think for me because I got the

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Speaker 1: eck really quickly with guys like the smallest little thing.

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Speaker 6: Different story now though, seven years later, let's get into that.

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Speaker 4: What do we need to talk about?

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Speaker 6: So?

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Speaker 2: What made it? What's made it last seven years? What's

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Speaker 2: what's been the key Well, what are some of the

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Speaker 2: key things that have made it last?

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Speaker 6: I guess we've always been really good at just like talking,

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Speaker 6: like honest conversations and talking. You know, we're yeah it

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Speaker 6: seven years in This is probably where that kind of

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Speaker 6: falls apart for people, and you sort of drift a

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Speaker 6: little bit, I suppose, if you're not kind of coming

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Speaker 6: back and reconnecting and and that is hard. We have

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Speaker 6: a three and a half year old and he is

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Speaker 6: full on and you know, it can really take over

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Speaker 6: your life unless you kind of really work at it.

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Speaker 6: We kind of do have to give ourselves that little

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Speaker 6: jolt every now and then just to be like, hey,

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Speaker 6: it's been a while since we actually looked each other

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Speaker 6: in the eye and a little chat or actually held

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Speaker 6: hands doing that thing that we used to like to

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Speaker 6: do or whatever it was, so kind of have to

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Speaker 6: force it in.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, I think we are pretty good at that.

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Speaker 4: Total life gets pretty hectic. We're both pretty busy.

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Speaker 6: Work wise and life wise and all the things, so

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Speaker 6: it's very easy to sort of go in other directions.

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Speaker 6: So yeah, I think that's probably been the key, is

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Speaker 6: we were able to come back together.

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Speaker 1: And we're always better together, like we always say, we're

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Speaker 1: just better together. So if for the you know, the

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Speaker 1: age nineties, we've been together. There's been lots of times

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Speaker 1: where we've been we've been traveling, or one of us

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Speaker 1: has been away or you know, whatever it is, and

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Speaker 1: it's like an hour into whatever work trip it is,

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Speaker 1: no matter what how cool it is and whoever's doing

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Speaker 1: the traveling, it's so obvious as soon as we're apart, like,

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Speaker 1: oh god, we just both functions so much better when

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Speaker 1: we are together. And yeah, I've forced a lot of

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Speaker 1: conversations and I am just you.

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Speaker 3: Know that things faster, right, Yeah, and you each know

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Speaker 3: your role so that works.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, like the painfully positive one. And I'm all

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Speaker 1: about like just if something, if something's broken, we fix it.

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Speaker 1: So like, Okay, you're not happy in this area, what

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Speaker 1: can we do to fix that? Was Adrian's a bit

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Speaker 1: slower and more methodical about things, So I think it's

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Speaker 1: a good little balance. I kind of jump into just

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Speaker 1: like okay, let's fix it. Especially as a parent, I

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Speaker 1: don't leave space for buddy to struggle with anything, whereas

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Speaker 1: Adrian's very much a bit more like just you know,

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Speaker 1: like put the brakes on, just relax, so we we compliment.

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Speaker 5: We compliment each other like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just kind of jump in and he's very

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Speaker 1: much takes fifteen years to make any decision in life.

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Speaker 5: That's fine, Yeah, it's cool.

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Speaker 4: Well let's talk about you pick not picking up your stuff.

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Speaker 5: I'm so foul.

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Speaker 4: We can talk about that stuff coming, yeah.

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Speaker 3: We can, But I do love to hear the proposal

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Speaker 3: story was there? Did you do something special? Did you

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Speaker 3: know it was coming? Ash?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: How did that? How did that go for you?

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Speaker 6: Yeah? Okay, so I think probably Ash did know it

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Speaker 6: was coming. So we found the ring, like the ring

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Speaker 6: like very early like, so we were just out doing

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Speaker 6: normal sort of everyday stuff, shopping.

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Speaker 5: Still living in separate cities, living in.

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Speaker 6: Separate cities, and we'd come together and we're just shopping

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Speaker 6: and then oh, there's a jewelry store. Should we have

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Speaker 6: a look in there, just to get a bit of

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Speaker 6: an idea of, you know, if it was ever to happen,

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Speaker 6: And it was just there. The ring was there, this

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Speaker 6: ruby ring, and Ash kind of fell in love with

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Speaker 6: this ring.

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Speaker 5: Three months after this was not very long, right.

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Speaker 6: Very soon, mean you know when you know, And so

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Speaker 6: I think very soon after that, i'd gone back to

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Speaker 6: that shop and sort of whatever put it on hold

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Speaker 6: or paid for paid for it I can't really remember,

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Speaker 6: and made them hang on to it. And then because

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Speaker 6: I knew that, yeah, soon enough there would be a

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Speaker 6: time and a place that would be right. And I

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Speaker 6: hadn't sort of planned that yet, but I just knew that,

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Speaker 6: you know, it was going to come. And then we

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Speaker 6: had a trip to London for work again coming up,

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Speaker 6: and I thought that'd be really cool.

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Speaker 4: Maybe I'll do it there.

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Speaker 6: But then I thought Ash was onto it, so I thought, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 6: that was a fun trip, so I left it out

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Speaker 6: of that trip. I thought that'd be.

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Speaker 5: Too traveling with the.

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Speaker 4: Stressed about taking it, and I was like, nah, I'm

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Speaker 4: not going to do that.

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Speaker 2: Probably didn't have air tags in those days either.

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Speaker 4: That's true.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't want to be panicked and not knowing

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Speaker 6: where it was. If I'd lost it, I would have

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Speaker 6: gone to water.

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Speaker 4: So then I booked a weekend.

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Speaker 6: Away and it was in the Blue Mountains in Sydney,

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Speaker 6: and probably already that wasn't out of character for us,

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Speaker 6: so there wasn't any reason to be suspicious there. But yes,

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Speaker 6: I had organized a collage of like photos of all

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Speaker 6: of us together and I'd had it made into a

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Speaker 6: jigsaw puzzle and down in the bottom right hand corner

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Speaker 6: of the jigsaw put or was you know, will you

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Speaker 6: marry me?

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Speaker 4: But the way that's sort of like how do you

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Speaker 4: get into that? On the morning of, like, hey, do

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Speaker 4: you want to do a jigsaw? I hadn't thought that

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Speaker 4: far ahead.

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Speaker 6: I was like, this is so cute, and I was like,

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Speaker 6: how the hell would I get us to do a jigsaw.

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Speaker 2: Radio?

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Speaker 4: Exactly right?

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Speaker 6: You would have thought I would have been better, but

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Speaker 6: I And that's exactly how badly it went.

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Speaker 4: In fact, I think reading books and were watching to.

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Speaker 1: Watch a movie, and I was like, yeah, and we

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Speaker 1: start watching the movie, but he's not watching the movie.

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Speaker 5: He's so distracted. And I was like, what is going on?

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Speaker 1: And I, at this point I still really didn't know,

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Speaker 1: And I said, what is going on with you? Like

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Speaker 1: he said, I don't know, I don't feel like watch

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Speaker 1: a movie. I made us a jigsaw puzzle. But to

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Speaker 1: be fair, he was so was is but more was

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Speaker 1: so romantic. It did so many cute things like that

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Speaker 1: that it really was normal that he would just make

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Speaker 1: a jigsaw of photos of us. So I still didn't

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Speaker 1: know he was proposing.

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Speaker 6: No, Because so I put together the jigs, but I

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Speaker 6: left the little corner like hidden under, like on the side,

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Speaker 6: so as we're getting through this jig, so we can

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Speaker 6: blatantly see this is whole corner.

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Speaker 4: Have you missed somebody?

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Speaker 5: Did you start with the corners?

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Speaker 1: That's how you do, Adrian, there's only three corners here.

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Speaker 1: You're setting me after getting really pissed off.

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Speaker 4: No, maybe I have left some pieces at home or something.

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Speaker 6: So we get the whole thing done, and of course

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Speaker 6: then the corner is, oh, there was these extra pieces

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Speaker 6: that were under the plate.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I get there. That's weird.

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Speaker 6: And then we put it together and then Ash realized

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Speaker 6: and then was overjoyed, calling mom straight away and it's happened,

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Speaker 6: and it was all very exciting and it was lovely.

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Speaker 1: And but that week that week my mom did call

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Speaker 1: and I was chatting. She lives in Melbourne, and I said, oh,

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Speaker 1: Adrian and I might we might come for dinner on Friday.

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Speaker 1: And said, oh, that's lovely. I'll get to see Adrian

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Speaker 1: twice in the week. What do you mean he's coming

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Speaker 1: over to have a chat with me on Wednesday? Right,

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Speaker 1: And I just said, oh, let's just pretend this conversation

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Speaker 1: never happened show.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I think that's a good idea because.

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Speaker 6: Although I am the modern man, I'm a bit old school.

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Speaker 6: And I was like, I'm going to ask for permission

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Speaker 6: or permission of sorts at least have a conversation. And yeah,

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Speaker 6: so yeah, we had a little dinner that night, and

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Speaker 6: she was wildly against the idea, and somehow I convinced

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Speaker 6: yesterdays disgusting.

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Speaker 3: You paid her off?

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Speaker 2: What have you? What have you done with the jigsaw puzzle?

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Speaker 2: Is it framed somewhere?

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Speaker 5: Well, we've moved.

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Speaker 4: In this little life.

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Speaker 6: It will be in a bag and it will be

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Speaker 6: with the receipt for the ring and the spification of

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Speaker 6: the somewhere together.

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Speaker 4: Nice, yeah, exactly, and we'll get.

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Speaker 6: It out again one day and we'll try and put

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Speaker 6: it together again.

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Speaker 1: He was very, very good with stuff like that, especially

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Speaker 1: in that first kind of year that we're living in

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Speaker 1: different cities, so we had to find opportunities to special

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Speaker 1: moments in albums.

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Speaker 6: It was book remember, with all the thing I stayed

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Speaker 6: up like like like scrapbooking this book together that I

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Speaker 6: stayed up, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, it was.

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Speaker 5: The things you do when you're forore, when you're young

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Speaker 5: and in love.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right, so we were we were we were

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Speaker 2: young too, getting getting together. I think I asked Eli

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Speaker 2: to marry me after three months, so you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was very and I did the same thing

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Speaker 3: Ash when I when I saw Cam on Perfect Match

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Speaker 3: and I was sixteen, I said, I'm going to marry

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Speaker 3: that guy one day. Yes, but I think a million

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Speaker 3: other women yeah too, And I just somehow or another

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Speaker 3: I cut through.

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Speaker 1: Well, my first Ti'm going to marry was Ricky Martin,

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Speaker 1: which was not going to happen.

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Speaker 2: Maybe never. Yeah, we are a relationship podcast, obviously, it's

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Speaker 2: talk about your relationship. A couple of years ago, there

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Speaker 2: was a book came out about love languages. Are you guys?

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Speaker 2: Is that love language? I roll? Or are your true

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Speaker 2: believers in that?

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Speaker 1: I grew up in a religious in a Christian family,

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Speaker 1: going to church a lot, so I think I kind

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Speaker 1: of connect that to religion a little bit, which is

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Speaker 1: where the only eye roll would come in. However, I

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Speaker 1: think there is some merit to the idea of having great, open,

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Speaker 1: honest communication about how you feel love.

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Speaker 5: Absolutely, and for me, it's what do you think of mine?

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Speaker 5: Do you know them? All? It's words aboutimation. That's a

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Speaker 5: service quality time.

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Speaker 4: Gifts, gifts some.

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Speaker 6: Isn't it the phys physical touch, physical touch that should

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Speaker 6: be in there.

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Speaker 4: Well, I know that.

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Speaker 5: Gifts, but not.

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Speaker 6: Not even like physical gifts. Giving you like a fancy diamond.

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Speaker 6: That's not like a gift of like I've given you

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Speaker 6: two hours on your own to go and get a massage.

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Speaker 4: Is that to you is like something?

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Speaker 1: And you've been really good because because Adrian isn't really

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Speaker 1: one for gifts, early on, he.

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Speaker 6: Also tight and I don't like to spend on things

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Speaker 6: that are going to end up in a drawer that

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Speaker 6: we're never going to look at again.

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Speaker 1: But he got on board very early, and there's been

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Speaker 1: a couple of kind of beautiful items that he's as

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Speaker 1: well as the things he's made me over the years,

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Speaker 1: a couple of beautiful things he's bought which meant so

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Speaker 1: much more because I know that you think it's ridiculous.

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Speaker 6: And I think you know that mine is like acts

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Speaker 6: of service to the one when you're like do around

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Speaker 6: the house doing things. But my favorite bit is like

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Speaker 6: you like to just remind me that you've done those

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Speaker 6: things so that I recognize the acts of service.

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Speaker 4: Did you say that I clean the kitchen, babe.

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Speaker 1: Yes, because it does not come remotely naturally to me.

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Speaker 1: I don't even notice the mess.

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Speaker 3: Yes, okay, okay, so my husband is right here. It's

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Speaker 3: a private joke between me and the kids as well.

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Speaker 3: Maybe it won't be anymore. I think cams onto it

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Speaker 3: every time my husband vacuums and we have this wonderful

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Speaker 3: dice and clean it. And I'm not kidding. Every time

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Speaker 3: he comes and shows me what he's vacuum how much

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Speaker 3: he's filled the vacuum thing up every single time, and

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Speaker 3: it's like I have to go, that's amazing, honey.

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Speaker 5: Because we need feedback, we need glory in our DNA.

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Speaker 2: But this is this is where the Dyson, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to give them their kudos right here, their props

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Speaker 2: where they're due. We've had so many crap vacuums we have, yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: and then our goes and spends all this money on

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Speaker 2: a Dyson.

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Speaker 3: I was sick and tired of having crap vacuums, and.

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Speaker 2: She buys us like it was all about the money, really,

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Speaker 2: because it was like, really, is that going to be

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Speaker 2: better than the cog in one? You know? And anyway,

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Speaker 2: so I use the diceon and holy crowd, it absolutely.

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Speaker 3: Had it for a year. I think we could probably

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Speaker 3: not still show.

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Speaker 2: But I still want to because we've got a We've

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Speaker 2: got a thin as a chip carpet that's just along

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Speaker 2: along a hallway and it's probably about I don't know,

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Speaker 2: maybe it's twenty feet long. I don't know the amount

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Speaker 2: of ship that comes out of that carpet.

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Speaker 4: I can't.

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Speaker 2: It fills up the whole tub, and I'm like.

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Speaker 5: You get to look at the tub and empty the

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Speaker 5: filter pets. It's even worse, right.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, But I honestly I feel like James Bond

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Speaker 2: emptying a cartridge, because it's like, you know all this stuff,

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Speaker 2: put it away and.

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Speaker 5: You're here you.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, because I think I need a dice,

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Speaker 2: as I need a dice in leather holster down my leg.

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Speaker 3: An ambassador to to dice.

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Speaker 4: Talking about it, we might get one these things. Ever, honestly,

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Speaker 4: I love them so much.

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Speaker 6: If my acts of if my love language ever becomes gifts,

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Speaker 6: I would like to be gifted a dyce And because

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Speaker 6: that would do two things for me.

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Speaker 4: It would it means I get to clean easier.

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Speaker 1: He just got me the air rat for Christmas, so

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Speaker 1: that we've you know, we've spent.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we might be done for a little

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Speaker 3: bit with the vacuum. Adrian has your has your view

401
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Speaker 3: on love? Has it evolved over the years. Did you

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Speaker 3: have to unlearn something from once now that you're married

403
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Speaker 3: and you're you've been together for seven years or is

404
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 3: it has it evolved at all since you were like

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Speaker 3: a younger fella.

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Speaker 6: Well, all I will say is that I guess there, Okay,

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Speaker 6: I have to I might need to just give some context.

408
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:02,120
Speaker 6: But my my first wife, Lauren, passed away in twenty fourteen,

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Speaker 6: so I was married and that was sort of the

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Speaker 6: formative part of our life was in the younger years.

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Speaker 6: So I've almost kind of had this two lives, right

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00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 6: and when that happened, and at that point, you know

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00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 6: when people are like, you'll find someone again, or you know,

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Speaker 6: you will have an open heart again, and in that moment,

415
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 6: you're kind of like, I definitely won't, you know, because

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00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 6: it's raw and it's real, and you just like, I

417
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Speaker 6: absolutely won't and I'll never find that person again. And

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Speaker 6: there were a few people that were like, you need

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Speaker 6: to understand that, you know, the heart can like it

420
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Speaker 6: has so much capacity to like love so many things

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Speaker 6: at once, and you can still love Lauren, and then

422
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Speaker 6: you can love someone else if that person comes along.

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Speaker 6: And of course at the time again you're like, I

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Speaker 6: just can't see how that's possible. And then someone like

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Speaker 6: Ash comes along, and then it starts to make sense

426
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Speaker 6: and you're kind of like, yeah, okay, right there is

427
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 6: the heart is a pretty special thing, and it can,

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Speaker 6: you know, keep this other part of my life in

429
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Speaker 6: a nice special box and I can still love that

430
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Speaker 6: part of my life and everything that was there. But

431
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,679
Speaker 6: look at this new love that I get to experience.

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Speaker 6: And so in lots of ways when I talk about

433
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Speaker 6: this and I say, oh, I'm kind of how lucky

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Speaker 6: am I that I got to meet two people, like

435
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 6: to have two loves of my life because that doesn't

436
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 6: happen to everyone, and didn't ever think it would happen

437
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 6: to me, but it has. And yeah, I'm very I guess,

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00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 6: appreciative and grateful that I was able to get it again.

439
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 4: But yeah, that's how it's changed for me. It's that

440
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 4: that kind of standard.

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Speaker 6: You know, you meet someone, you stay with that person

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Speaker 6: forever and you love them that didn't happen for me,

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Speaker 6: but I was absolutely grateful to be able to find

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00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 6: someone else and open my heart again and make it

445
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 6: like sort of go through the process and work on

446
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 6: myself so that I was able to then give again

447
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 6: and kind of understand that. So, yeah, it definitely changed

448
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 6: for me from what I thought it was to what

449
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,239
Speaker 6: it can be when you really like give into it

450
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 6: and you have someone wonderful in your life that you know.

451
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. That's really beautiful.

452
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

453
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 2: And now you've been candid about your relationship journey over

454
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 2: the years. What surprised you most about being married or

455
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 2: in this long term love.

456
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: I think I never, in a weird way, thought that

457
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 1: I would never get married, or at least that my

458
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:36,399
Speaker 1: work would be my kind of my love, and that

459
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 1: no one got that lucky to have kind of a

460
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: great career and also a great relationship. So I think

461
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 1: I was surprised first of all to meet and fall

462
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 1: in love with Adrian so quickly. And I guess I

463
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: never expected that. I mean, some people, after hearing what

464
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: Adrian just shared, would maybe expect that our love would

465
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,919
Speaker 1: be quite complicated, that it would have been a very complicated,

466
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: hard thing for us to find common ground and move

467
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: forward together. And I think I maybe was just the

468
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 1: most surprising thing was that we were able to like

469
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 1: very quickly find so much common ground and be honest

470
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: and simplify what should have been a really complicated relationship.

471
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: And still a lot of people like, oh, how does

472
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,959
Speaker 1: that work? Like do you get jealous of her? Or

473
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: you know, so there's all these things. Maybe when I

474
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 1: went into it initially thought oh, this could be messy,

475
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: but it hasn't been kind of messy at all. So

476
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 1: I'm kind of really proud of us for that, And

477
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: a lot of that is a testament to kind of

478
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 1: Adrian really doing the work and us having a lot

479
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: of kind of very honest conversations. And I also like

480
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 1: never thought that love could be so fulfilling, Like I

481
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 1: really did think that my work would fulfill me and

482
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 1: love would kind of be the cherry on top. But

483
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: I think the relationship that we have is extremely fulfilling,

484
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: even in all of its different stages and phases, Like

485
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: it's changed so much. Like when you're two young people

486
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 1: who were very much in love and not even living

487
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: in the same city, there's all that excitement, and you know,

488
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 1: like when are we gonna be together.

489
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 5: We're gonna get three days and then we're gonna have

490
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:15,480
Speaker 5: two weeks.

491
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 1: Off and we're gonna you know, we had great jobs,

492
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: We're earning great money. We had no kids, so we

493
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: had so much disposable cash to take these ridiculous like

494
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 1: overseas trips, and we just really lived it up, which

495
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: I think is really important, especially when you know, you

496
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: go through what Adrian goes through, like you live your

497
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 1: life then and you really enjoy it, and then you know,

498
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 1: there comes phases in life where you know, with COVID

499
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: and then with a baby, and you know, and things

500
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: change and your life changes. And I just didn't think

501
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: it would be so easy to kind of ride through

502
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 1: the ups and downs because I'd never been like that before.

503
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 1: I'd needed things to always be as I wanted them

504
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: and easy, and I needed to control it and make

505
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: sure we had I had everything that I wanted and

506
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 1: didn't have to wait for anything, and never had really discomfort.

507
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 5: You know, I kind of built my.

508
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: Life around well, I can just fix everything and make

509
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 1: everything amazing. But you know, we've had some tough times.

510
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: But like and I always say, as lame as it

511
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,439
Speaker 1: sounds like, as hard as life has been for us

512
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 1: with so much moving and job changes and we YadA YadA, yadda,

513
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 1: loving each other has always been extremely easy, so like

514
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 1: the ability to kind of ride those waves. And the

515
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 1: one thing, and I know it would be the same

516
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: for you, Like, the one thing I know to be

517
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: true even when everything goes to shit, is that I've

518
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 1: got his back, he's got my back. That like we're

519
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: a team, and that I think is something I never

520
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: expected to get because I was always so fickle in

521
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: the past about men to be perfectly honest, Like I

522
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: just thought they were like a bit lame. But I

523
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: found this person that for one, I don't even know

524
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: how to quantify. I don't know what it is. It's

525
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 1: just a thing where it's like, yeah, you piss me

526
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: off and we're so different and you take way too

527
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: long to choose a car park and it's infuriating.

528
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 6: It's the first time hearing about that.

529
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: But we're in and I feel so safe in our

530
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: love and so secure, and that I think has been

531
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 1: the most surprising thing and also the thing I'm proudest of.

532
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 3: Fantastic, So beautiful, beautiful, little buddy arrived in twenty twenty one,

533
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 3: Is that correct?

534
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 4: Yeah?

535
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,400
Speaker 3: All right, tell us about him and what has parenthood

536
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 3: taught you about yourselves?

537
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 4: Good that I'm extremely impatient patient. I'm so impatient.

538
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 6: I want everything to happen on my time and I

539
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 6: want if you know, I've got things that I need

540
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 6: to do, then I'm so bad at just being like, Okay,

541
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 6: those things can wait and they I need to be here.

542
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 6: This is the moment that I'm going to that actually matters,

543
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,439
Speaker 6: and just being in this moment and whatever.

544
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 4: So yeah, I really struggle with patience.

545
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 5: I didn't know he was this impatient until we had

546
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 5: a child.

547
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't know either. I really thought I had

548
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 6: a bit more under control, and I thought I could.

549
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 2: I don't know.

550
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 4: I just thought i'd be able to manage that better.

551
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: Button man, that's what he does for a living. He

552
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 1: manages people, so I think, and he's very very.

553
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:11,640
Speaker 5: Good at it.

554
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: So maybe that's part of it, is that you've got

555
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 1: this little person that you can't I.

556
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 6: Can't manage performance toddler, No, toddler, right, like, just just

557
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 6: ready for Kinney on the time schedule that I like

558
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 6: you to get ready on, not just I want to

559
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 6: play poor Patrol for twenty minutes and I'm up again.

560
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,920
Speaker 6: Then that's what I feel like I become a bad

561
00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 6: dad is when I'm just like, why am I forcing

562
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 6: this kid to like be on my time when he

563
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 6: doesn't know what that means?

564
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 2: Sorry? How old Buddy's three?

565
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 5: He's going to be in a couple of bits and

566
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 5: is so big and old, and I'm.

567
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 3: Like, what the heck?

568
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's he's a really smart kid. And I

569
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: think everyone says the kids smart, but I kid really

570
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: is quite smart. So I think we do expect a

571
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: lot from him because he is been talking, like conversationally

572
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 1: talking since before he's two. So you just kind of

573
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:08,199
Speaker 1: forget that he's three and a half because I can

574
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: have a conversation within you and you can understand what

575
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: I'm saying, but you don't have the emotional capacity and intelligence.

576
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: You can't you know, you forget that because I'm like,

577
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: I know you want us dan, why aren't you well being?

578
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: But he's three so he can't do that. So yeah,

579
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: but you are very impatient, and I've become I'm like

580
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 1: the patient mum, which I never saw coming.

581
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 5: Like I'm really zen with.

582
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 4: Him and I'm working on it, and.

583
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 5: You're a great but you are a wonderful dead. You're

584
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 5: a great dead.

585
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 3: I'm so I remember so vividly the times of just

586
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 3: we've got three in there, like grown up grown ups,

587
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 3: but just remembering those moments each time vividly of like

588
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 3: just going for a walk that should take five and

589
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 3: it takes you know, an hour and a half, and

590
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 3: just like, okay, this is really about the stop and

591
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: smell the roses moment where they do want to stop

592
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,479
Speaker 3: and look at the crack and the sidewalk. They do

593
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 3: want to see if there's a flower or a beetle

594
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 3: or this, or go back a little bit and they've dropped.

595
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 3: It's just like shits okay, okay.

596
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 1: When they tell you like twenty minutes after they dropped it,

597
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 1: and you're like yeah, and then life will end if

598
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: they don't have it.

599
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

600
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 3: Whenever I see like little shoes or little toys out

601
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 3: on a walk, I go, oh, some parents are gonna

602
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 3: be like, dang, where's the other shoe we had?

603
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 5: An Adrian can't lose things once. We got a pig

604
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 5: from a toilet. Library.

605
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 1: We're living in campbell a whole thorn in Melbourne and

606
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: we've gone for a walk and we came back and

607
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 1: the pig was gone. And in my mind, I'm like, cool,

608
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 1: the pig's gone. We pay the four dollars to the

609
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: toy library for the lost pig.

610
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 6: I looked for the pig for trace those steps. I

611
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 6: was like, I'm finding this pig.

612
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 2: Do you guys remember that that ad? It was a

613
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 2: car commercial where where the woman the mum, had had

614
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 2: the little stuff to We're in the car and the

615
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 2: kids thought that they've left it behind, had met that

616
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: was that was ours in the handbag, wasn't it?

617
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

618
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, she had it in the hand dropped it. But

619
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 2: the dad's found it now. The dad's the year they

620
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 2: planned it.

621
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 3: So the dad could feel good.

622
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, we need that.

623
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: Dads need that every night we are.

624
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and Buddy does love his daddy so much. Like

625
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: we had a year we both finished. So I quit

626
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: my radio show when I was pregnant, and Adrian had.

627
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 4: Also resigned, so we radio company.

628
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: So we had this glorious first year when Buddy came

629
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: where we were at home together and not working and

630
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 1: it was absolute heaven.

631
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 5: Like I think as far as maternity leaves go, I don't.

632
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 1: I couldn't imagine it better because it was just like

633
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 1: we really were a team. Like there was still the

634
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: moments or I'd be up breastfeeding at one am, staring

635
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: at Adrian snoring and seething, wanting to murder him because

636
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: I you know, he.

637
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 5: Was happily asleep.

638
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 4: But but then I wake up.

639
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 5: Meanwhile the baby, I've re swaddled, the baby's back to sleep,

640
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 5: and I was just like, just fucking go back to sleep.

641
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 3: But we were a.

642
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: Real team, and I you know, I don't think I

643
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: was alone with Buddy in that first year, Like they

644
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: just didn't happen. So we had this wonderful yeah, and

645
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 1: you know, like and going.

646
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 5: Back to work.

647
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: Adrian was the one to go back to work, and

648
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: that was a really hard transition for you to like

649
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 1: go from seeing and he was so cute and perfect

650
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 1: and lovely that first.

651
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 4: Year around them all the time.

652
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: When they're three and a half, you're happy to go

653
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:43,719
Speaker 1: to work and it's good to have a break.

654
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 3: People at work. They've got it right in those Nordic

655
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 3: countries because they give paternity leave for a year.

656
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's amazing.

657
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 3: It's so good.

658
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 6: It was so helpful to have because I got that

659
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 6: connection as well, and I was able to do some

660
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 6: of those special things in the early days, so that

661
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 6: was really cool.

662
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: And he did have a natural knack for it, honestly,

663
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: And like there's still moments in our parenting where Adriane

664
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: is the one to kind of go okay. Ninety percent

665
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 1: of the time, it's me kind of I think, making

666
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: the decisions around his food and discipline and all those

667
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: sorts of things, because I'm the one reading all the research, YadA, YadA, YadA.

668
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: But there I have been a couple of times where

669
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 1: Adrians not put his foot down but said, I actually

670
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: sense that maybe he needs something different, So can you

671
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: kind of trust me on this, like with his sleep,

672
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: And usually yeah, yeah, I.

673
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 5: Hate to admit it.

674
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: And often Agent does have a kind of bet not

675
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 1: a better sense, but maybe a sense that's more kind

676
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 1: of trained to what buddy really does need in that moment,

677
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: as opposed to me getting sometimes too caught up in

678
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: woll statistics say and experts say, and boy, we need

679
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: to do this this, and that was Agent and be like, well,

680
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: how about we just try this, and I have to

681
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 1: go okay. Like, there's been moments where I've disagreed with him,

682
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: but gone, cool, we're going to I'm going to shut

683
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: up and we're going to do it your way, and

684
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: usually it works.

685
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

686
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: You know, I wonder with this proliferation of Instagram experts

687
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 2: and all these different people putting all this info and

688
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: intel that that some of it's really good. I'm sure, well,

689
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: I know it is. I know it's good. Yet when

690
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: we were raising our kids, the Internet wasn't around. It

691
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 2: was for the last two but not not for for loaders,

692
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: and certainly before that, parents had to just go on instinct,

693
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 2: like that.

694
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 4: Books you just read books, just res what.

695
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 2: To expect when you're expecting class of stuff.

696
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I read that book.

697
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 5: I read obviously.

698
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 2: This wasn't it you. I think small.

699
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: I think women are really these days, we're taught to

700
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: not trust our instincts because there's so much kind of

701
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: conflicting information out there or really points of view, so

702
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: that I think if we have another one, I think

703
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 1: my approach will be a lot more instinctual rather than

704
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: like I just beat myself up so much to do

705
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: everything by the book, like he has to sleep this

706
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,360
Speaker 1: way and he's got to not do this before that.

707
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: I knew every rule and I would read the research. Again,

708
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm not just like talking about listening to instagrammers.

709
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 5: I really would, you know.

710
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: And I think it was part of maybe a reaction

711
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: to COVID as well, and the fear that existed back then,

712
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: where it was just like, Okay, well, I can't control anything,

713
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:34,879
Speaker 1: but what I can do is make sure that every

714
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: single thing I do for this baby is by the book,

715
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: so that there's no so that I can't say that

716
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 1: anything I did was wrong. And that was how I

717
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: kind of controlled and as a result, we had this

718
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 1: like really amazing kid who thrived off routine and YadA, YadA, YadA,

719
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,840
Speaker 1: but at the expense maybe at times of my sanity,

720
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: because I was just doing too much and maybe holding

721
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: myself to a standard that wasn't possible.

722
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 6: And I'm probably the one that just like pushes the

723
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 6: next like what's the like the next development, Like like

724
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 6: seven months, I was like, let's get buddy out of

725
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 6: the bedroom.

726
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: Waited till I was so sick that I couldn't lift

727
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,400
Speaker 1: my head out of the pillow, and said should we

728
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 1: move him out of our room? And I grunted and

729
00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 1: then fell asleep, and by the time I woke up,

730
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 1: he had a nursery set up downstairs.

731
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's exactly how that went. But I knew that

732
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 6: was the only way that this was going to happen.

733
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 6: And then we're going to have to do some sort

734
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 6: of a clean break here, And then I was prepared

735
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,359
Speaker 6: for like what that was going to mean, Like, yeah,

736
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 6: we're going to do the control crying and we're going

737
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 6: to have to do the like down in one in

738
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 6: the room. It was going to be hell, but it

739
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 6: was going to be better in the long run. So

740
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 6: I'm sort of more up for the we've got to

741
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 6: do this now, and it's going to be a bit harder.

742
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: And then whereas his buddy would still be in my

743
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: room if it was up to me, because I'm just

744
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 1: it's you know, and that and the sleep training, which

745
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: is is very controversial, and I think it took one

746
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: night for buddy to get it, and if it had

747
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 1: taken any more, there's no way I would have pushed through.

748
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 5: But on that one night, and one night only.

749
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: That we had to let him cry, or had chosen

750
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: to let him cry, he was in our room still

751
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: and I lay in bed, sobbing, absolutely sobbing, and Adrian's

752
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: a whisper because you have to whispers in Adrian's like

753
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 1: can you you need to pull yourself together, And I

754
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 1: was like, fuck you, you don't understand.

755
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 3: I burnt him. It is by a lot.

756
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 5: And we have his full on fight whisper under the covers, just.

757
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 3: Like yeah, whisper, yeah, And then he got it was

758
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 3: rests of pumping, pumping, He's crying because like the body's responding,

759
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 3: and yeah.

760
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 5: Totally totally.

761
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: That was the kind of I think that was that

762
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: that was maybe the one point in that kind of

763
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 1: newborn phase that we really did kind of clash. But again,

764
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 1: I'm proud that I was able to be like, Okay,

765
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 1: you're his father, so I can't. I have to relinquish

766
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: some control here and do things your way. And thankfully,

767
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: like it actually changed all of our lives. And he,

768
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: you know, sodden sleeping through and loved it and you know,

769
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: so it was it was a good thing.

770
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 5: But yeah, that that whisper fight.

771
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 3: It's a different it's a different life when they start

772
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,800
Speaker 3: sleeping and you're sleeping, it's just like a different world.

773
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: It's so exciting to wake up and see the baby again,

774
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 3: like you haven't spent all night and feel like a vampire,

775
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 3: you know, you know, wake it two, three, four or

776
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 3: five in the morning, it's like, oh.

777
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 6: And when it does happen, it felt like it did happen,

778
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 6: Like like you go from like it not happening.

779
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 4: So then you're waking up one morning and going do

780
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 4: we just get eight hours of sleep? What the heck is?

781
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 5: Like?

782
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 6: As you say ad a game changer, You're just like, well,

783
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 6: it's been eight months or tens or whatever it was.

784
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 6: I was just get a life back now. And then

785
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 6: there's the other fifteen things that come after that.

786
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:47,720
Speaker 4: Something.

787
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 6: Every single time you're like, just when you get on

788
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 6: top of it, bang and you back down to the

789
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 6: next thing.

790
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 4: Whatever it is.

791
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 3: You guys have moved to New Zealand. How long ago

792
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 3: was that?

793
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 6: November last year? November twenty twenty four. I came across

794
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 6: for just a little bit by myself to start with.

795
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,239
Speaker 2: And then this is for work, Yeah, this is for work.

796
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

797
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,399
Speaker 6: So we're at Media works over here, so two big

798
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 6: sort of media companies and we're at one of those,

799
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 6: and yes, I guess again. It sort of just started

800
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 6: with a conversation with me about do I want to

801
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,959
Speaker 6: sort of out of radio, but not very far out

802
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 6: doing some other things. And then it was yeah, do

803
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,960
Speaker 6: you want to do you want to come back, come

804
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 6: over here and have a bit of a crack And

805
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 6: my immediate response was no, thanks, not really interested in that.

806
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 6: But the more we talked about the opportunity and the

807
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 6: more interesting it sounded working with some brands that I'd

808
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 6: never worked with, and the challenges that they had in

809
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 6: some of the parts of the business, I was.

810
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 5: Like, do you like fixing things? That's what people like

811
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 5: to do.

812
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 6: I love seeing's broken. So yeah, that happened, and then

813
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 6: of course it very quickly became about a conversation of us, Okay,

814
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 6: well what does that look like for both of us?

815
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 6: And yeah, they were fantastic in talking about They're obviously

816
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 6: very exciting.

817
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 4: They're like, oh, we're going to get you in a

818
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 4: get ash London as well. How good.

819
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 6: So yeah, we started to really talk about what that

820
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 6: looked like and if it made sense for both of us.

821
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 6: Once we got to the end of that, then we

822
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 6: would go, well, this is a good opportunity because no,

823
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 6: it wasn't on the Bingo card to live in New

824
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 6: Zealand and we just are a bit crazy like that,

825
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 6: And honestly, we've come here and people are like, what

826
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 6: do you mean you moved from Melbourne to Auckland, Like

827
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,760
Speaker 6: everybody's trying to go the other way and new idiots

828
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,479
Speaker 6: coming over here, and I just someone said the exact

829
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 6: same thing for me just before, and they're like, but

830
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 6: you know what, you could be the outlie. You could

831
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 6: show everyone how it's gone. It is possible to go

832
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 6: from there to there. We're like, well, we're working on

833
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 6: it because we.

834
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 4: Do love it.

835
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 6: We love the lifestyle, and we love the people, and

836
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 6: Buddy loves kindie and the little.

837
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 1: Like a lot of today, like the Maori language over here.

838
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,399
Speaker 1: I feel like those little performances for us. And then

839
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: the other day he did easy performance and at.

840
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 5: The end of your guest and we're like, and it's

841
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 5: so cool, but it's.

842
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: So bad as totally like love. Early on he said

843
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,800
Speaker 1: I think, I like he I don't know. It's something

844
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 1: I did something naughty And he said, Mummy, that's not

845
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 1: showing Manaki Tangua.

846
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 5: And I'm like, I.

847
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 1: Get out of my phone Google, I respect for your environment. No,

848
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: you're right, Mummy, wasn't showing manakitanga. I apologize, buddy.

849
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 4: That's great for us.

850
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, and as you're you're back on air again in

851
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:44,280
Speaker 2: New Zealand.

852
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 5: Yes, so I'm doing.

853
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 2: How's that for you?

854
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 5: It's great it's been again.

855
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 1: I didn't think I kind of I would return, but

856
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: the opportunity came up and they've been wonderful. Let me

857
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 1: kind of do it on my own terms and on

858
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 1: my own timeline and in a time of day that

859
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 1: suits me. I get to kind of go back to

860
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: doing what I love, which is the interviews and the

861
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: music stuff, and I do my podcast from out of

862
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: here as well. So it's given me really nice structure

863
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: again because I've just kind of written my debut novel,

864
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: Love on the Air, which just came out.

865
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, we want to talk about that, we want to

866
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 2: touch on that.

867
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, it took up a lot of time.

868
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,080
Speaker 1: So it's good now to have a bit of structure

869
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: again and to be able to kind of have my

870
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: day set out as opposed to just this kind of

871
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: big hundred thousand words. It needs to get written in

872
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 1: a year, and you do it kind of when you can.

873
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 5: So we're all very happy here.

874
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 3: Do you share a lot sort of either through the

875
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 3: podcast or radio about your life together, or do you

876
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 3: have like agreements of like this is private time, this

877
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 3: is not going to get shared.

878
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: Or you know, we both work in radio. It's all

879
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: kind of just okay. Yeah, there's one or two things

880
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 1: that would make the best on air content of all time,

881
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 1: the best phone topics.

882
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,880
Speaker 5: It would go viral and Instagram.

883
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, got it.

884
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 2: There is.

885
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, there is a couple of ground Yeah, on a

886
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 6: few of the bitches. I'm sure there is with lots

887
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 6: of people that have, you know, talent, like talent.

888
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 4: On the air, and we're lucky in that we get Yeah,

889
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:12,319
Speaker 4: we can.

890
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: And we've always really worked when at one point Adrian

891
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,359
Speaker 1: was running Kiss Melbourne and that was the first time

892
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: that we'd ever not worked at the same radio company.

893
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: We'd always kind of work together, and he'd never been

894
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: my boss. He'd been like across other you know, like

895
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 1: I was on a national show and he was, you know,

896
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: running Fox. So I was like, well, it's not really

897
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: my boss. And again, you know in New Zealand, we're

898
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 1: like working. I think it's what you do best. We

899
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: kind of work together, but not together, Like I love

900
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: coming to work and being able to visit his desk

901
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,879
Speaker 1: when I feel like it, like that really suits me.

902
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 5: And I love.

903
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: My PRODUCTIY, so times a day I walk over there

904
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: looking for him.

905
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,919
Speaker 2: So if you had to swatch swap jobs for the day,

906
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 2: who would do better? What would happen?

907
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:02,439
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I could never ever I do his job,

908
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 5: no way.

909
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:09,200
Speaker 1: Adrian oversees three radio brands and has to deal with

910
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 1: there's so much you know, task switching that has to

911
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 1: exist in his mind. The only bit I'd be good

912
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 1: at would be the person knocking on my door to

913
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 1: talk about their feelings. Like I'd be like, come on

914
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: in and sit down. But I would get so emotionally

915
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:27,399
Speaker 1: involved in that. Adrian can separate, and he's very good

916
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 1: with the emotional stuff, But I would be like, just

917
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:31,799
Speaker 1: move in with us for a month so you and

918
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 1: I can work through that. You know, I would get

919
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: very you know, into it. I can't separate the emotions.

920
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 6: There's lots of benefits to being married to talent or

921
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 6: personalities that are on the air, Like, you know, I

922
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 6: get to get a first hand view of kind of

923
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 6: all the things that I'm going to then face at

924
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 6: work with. You know, there's egos and there's there's lots

925
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 6: of interesting things that happen there, So I get I

926
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 6: get a bit more experience with that, I guess, but yeah,

927
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 6: if we were, I mean I would be and I was,

928
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:00,479
Speaker 6: so I did.

929
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 4: I don't know.

930
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,360
Speaker 6: I did like five years on the air back in

931
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 6: the day, guys saf Adelaide, Yeah yeah, guy or something, Yeah, yeah,

932
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 6: and I was. I was reasonably terrible at it. And

933
00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 6: it's certainly in a show environment where you're having to

934
00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 6: like really draw on experience and like Ashes Superpower is

935
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 6: you know, and I say this a lot with just

936
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,239
Speaker 6: programming people. You know, you've got to have lived a

937
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 6: bit of a life to sort of get on the

938
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 6: air and talk about things. And when you can draw

939
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 6: on a story from any any situation, you've oh yeah,

940
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 6: I know, I met that guy once or oh yeah, no,

941
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 6: I've also experienced that thing once and you've got a

942
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 6: great example and that leads to a great story. Like

943
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,360
Speaker 6: that is Ashes superpower without a doubt, there just seems

944
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 6: to be always something that Ash can go and I

945
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 6: just don't have that.

946
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 4: I just be like, oh.

947
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't have any good examples of that.

948
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 4: I'm pretty boring generally, So yeah, there's a definite, definite

949
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 4: difference there.

950
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of stories. Then your books come out Love

951
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: on the Air, and you've said that it's definitely not

952
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 2: an autobiography, but clearly by.

953
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 3: It we could says.

954
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 2: By true events. Were you ever? Were you ever? Did

955
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 2: you ever think, oh, maybe I should write an autobiography

956
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: or is it just a lot easier just to make

957
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 2: it into a novel.

958
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm I mean, I'm nearly forty,

959
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,320
Speaker 1: so I've done a lot of living.

960
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 5: I still think I'm twenty, but I'm not.

961
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: I just feel like if I did an autobiography, I'd

962
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: have to revise it in five years, because the one

963
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 1: thing I've learned is that whatever you think to be

964
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: true can change so quickly.

965
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 5: And I just feel like I've got so much more

966
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 5: living to do.

967
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 1: But I do feel like, you know, the career I've

968
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 1: had in radio so far has been so ridiculous. Like

969
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: the joys of doing a night show is that you

970
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: just get to do whatever you want with no real pressure.

971
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: And I did it in kind of like well, I

972
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: was at the tail end of the of the commercial

973
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 1: radio endless budget glory days where it was just like, oh,

974
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 1: there's an interview with Harry Starles. Well, we could do

975
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: it on the phone. But you know what, it'd be

976
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: better if you just go to LA for a week

977
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 1: and that we did that there. Now it would be like, oh,

978
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 1: can we afford the Telstra connection to do it on Zoo?

979
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 4: Maybe not?

980
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 3: That's right.

981
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 1: So I had all these kind of ridiculous you know,

982
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 1: I had a ridiculous career, and then it wasn't until

983
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,799
Speaker 1: Matt leave that I kind of got some distance from it.

984
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 1: And I was like, when my life was very mundane

985
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 1: and ordinary and beautiful, I looked like, kind of look

986
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 1: back on it, and I was like, man, that was

987
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: some crazier stuff I did.

988
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 5: Like, that's amazing.

989
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 1: And also, you know, the idea that Adrian and I,

990
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: against all odds, kind of you know, found each other

991
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 1: and made it work. What could have been really complicated

992
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: and messy and hard was actually really beautiful and I think,

993
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: you know, quite redemptive and amazing. So with that in mind,

994
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: I kind of, you know, I just started writing. And

995
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:59,800
Speaker 1: the first scene that I wrote was kind of based

996
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: and a time that I got dumped and I thought

997
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: I was gonna marry this person, and I knocked on

998
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: my auntie and uncle's door. They lived in Marubra around

999
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 1: the corner from me, and I was balled and they

1000
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 1: opened the door and said, come on in, what's happened.

1001
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: And I ended up living with them like two years

1002
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 1: after that while they kind of you know, nursed my wounds.

1003
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 1: And so, yeah, my Auntie May and Uncle Billy the

1004
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: characters in this story because this person, you know, has

1005
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 1: the job of their dreams, but they're still technically living

1006
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 1: at home.

1007
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 5: So little things like that.

1008
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,839
Speaker 1: And then yeah, like the love story's based based on

1009
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,359
Speaker 1: kind of like ten percent, but really, like you've heard it.

1010
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 5: If if our love story was a.

1011
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 1: Rom com novel, it would be one page long. It

1012
00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,839
Speaker 1: would be like she went to the party and saw

1013
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 1: him and they got married and that's the end. Like,

1014
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 1: so I had to put some drama into it. I

1015
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: had to invent some radio nemesis. I'd never had a

1016
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: radio nemesis, unfortunately, but I invented one of those. And

1017
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 1: we had to kind of create some drama around it

1018
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 1: and put some celebrities in there and build a story.

1019
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: And it was it was so so fun, but inevitably,

1020
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 1: you know, people like when our friends read it, they say, Ash,

1021
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: you just got to tell me straight up, like do

1022
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: I need to prepare myself to imagine you and Adrian

1023
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 1: having sex, like you've got to warn me because that's

1024
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. But I kept it pretty tame for

1025
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 1: the first book for that reason because I'm like, you know,

1026
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 1: people are gonna of course they're going to imagine us.

1027
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 2: So first book is there's a second one.

1028
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:23,800
Speaker 4: You were into it, ha ha ha.

1029
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've started writing another one, yeah, which is

1030
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: a totally different experience because you're not you know, it's

1031
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,759
Speaker 1: very easy to kind of write what you know. I'm

1032
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,440
Speaker 1: the only like research really that I had to do

1033
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 1: on the first book was really fun stuff like okay,

1034
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:39,720
Speaker 1: well if someone was going to fly to the mold

1035
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,880
Speaker 1: Eves first class from Sydney, what airline, what aircraft, what

1036
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 1: would the menu be, and what would the cabin look

1037
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: like and what kind of champagne would they order?

1038
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 5: And that was really fun research.

1039
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 1: And you know, we'd stayed at the London Edition on

1040
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 1: a trip to London once, so I'll I'll base it

1041
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 1: at that hotel because it's a really chic hotel, but.

1042
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 5: You know, what would the most expensive room beer?

1043
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 1: And then I'd be on the Tell website like getting

1044
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: the virtual tour like that was fun research. The second

1045
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 1: book I'm working on is something I don't know, so

1046
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: the research has been totally different and the experience has

1047
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 1: been totally different. And I feel like now I kind

1048
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: of know how to write a book. Where is the

1049
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: first time? I just you know, you just throw shit

1050
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:21,880
Speaker 1: at a wall and see what sticks. But you know,

1051
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 1: and I'm really happy with how it turned out. But

1052
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:24,919
Speaker 1: now I know a bit more.

1053
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 3: Adrian, have you recovered from having the book dedicated to you?

1054
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 6: Yet?

1055
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 4: Ah?

1056
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 6: Well, not really no, because I cried, I think like

1057
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 6: a little baby when I saw that.

1058
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 3: Who else?

1059
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:42,919
Speaker 1: See if it was the other way around, I would

1060
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:46,839
Speaker 1: look at that and go, well, obviously, duh, where was

1061
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:48,320
Speaker 1: you were shocked?

1062
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:50,319
Speaker 6: I was shocked, But I mean there was a lot

1063
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 6: of late night work, shopping story boarding.

1064
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:55,880
Speaker 5: He's amazing.

1065
00:49:58,160 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 4: Yes, I was pretty good.

1066
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 5: He's got a really great sense of story. And that's

1067
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:03,240
Speaker 5: why he's.

1068
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,280
Speaker 1: Good at at you know, being in creative in radio

1069
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: and helping his content arts work. And he always had

1070
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 1: the key when I got stuck, and I would kill

1071
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: me because sometimes I'd wait three or four, five, six

1072
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 1: days to ask him, and then I've been lying in

1073
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 1: bed at night.

1074
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 5: I'd be like, you're awake, Yeah, what do you need?

1075
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: And then we'd roll over towards each other and then

1076
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: he'd always what about if she did this? And I go, yep,

1077
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 1: thank you.

1078
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,359
Speaker 5: Then I go and write it every time.

1079
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 3: That's so good, that's great.

1080
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 4: It was. Yeah, it was magic to watch just the

1081
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 4: ideas come to life. It was so good. Yeah, absolutely,

1082
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 4: all right, Well the books out.

1083
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 2: Love on the Air is out, and we got to

1084
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 2: get it because I have a feeling I'm going to

1085
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:40,839
Speaker 2: really enjoy reading.

1086
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 3: You'll relate, honey, You're relate stuff in there your mind.

1087
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 5: Maybe you'll recognize some of the bad guys.

1088
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:52,280
Speaker 4: Guys on this podcast.

1089
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 2: You're going to create a radio nemesis right now. Hey,

1090
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: we do a wrap but heartbeat wind up for the

1091
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 2: potty and so just both answer the question please and

1092
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 2: just keep your answer.

1093
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 3: Sure, ye okay, if you go, what brings you joy?

1094
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 4: Time together with family and friends.

1095
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 7: Food, it's so good in New Zealand, so cheap.

1096
00:51:30,080 --> 00:51:33,879
Speaker 2: Okay. What's one habit you each do that the other

1097
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 2: finds adorable?

1098
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 5: About to say?

1099
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 2: Sighing, adorable, adorable, adorable, m nice harmony.

1100
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 5: Oh I've got one.

1101
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:50,720
Speaker 1: He's become obsessed with golf, so he thinks I don't

1102
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 1: know that he's either looking at golf tutorial videos, clubs

1103
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 1: or booking in a tea time on his phone, but

1104
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: I can see by the look on his face that

1105
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: it's goal related.

1106
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 5: And it's very very cute how much joy it brings in.

1107
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 2: I think the.

1108
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,520
Speaker 4: Ash, as I said, it's a very good storyteller.

1109
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 6: And yes, and so when we're out with friends or

1110
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 6: meeting new people, like, yeah, I hear the same stories

1111
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 6: like seventeen times over because this is where we're regaling

1112
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 6: these people with these wonderful stories. And I do often

1113
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 6: give feedback like oh god, I think, But I actually

1114
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 6: secretly love it, obviously, and I find it very adorable

1115
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 6: that we're there and she's got everyone like hanging on

1116
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 6: the edge of the table and then what happened, and

1117
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 6: then what happened?

1118
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 4: And yes, so I do find that adorable.

1119
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 5: I get little air of checks, little air checks.

1120
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 6: Of the story a bit shorter, a few details, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1121
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 3: Got it, got it? Uh finish this sentence. What the

1122
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:58,280
Speaker 3: world needs more of.

1123
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 8: Is attitude people like Ash who want to get a

1124
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,879
Speaker 8: message out there and are not afraid to talk about

1125
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,879
Speaker 8: things that maybe other people find uncomfortable.

1126
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 2: You should don't want to slide some golf references.

1127
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 4: More discounted.

1128
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 2: All right, last question. One word to describe each other integrism.

1129
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 4: I think joyful is the word for ash joyful.

1130
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,479
Speaker 2: Thanks, We've loved this chat. Thank you so much.

1131
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 5: Pleasure, Thank you so much. Guys.

1132
00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 1: Always a pleasure talking about wonderful things.

1133
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 4: Really great to talk to you. Thanks for the time.