1 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: You know gag. I hope you're bloody amazing. It's jumbo, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: it's you project, it's I think I'm going to make 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: this the last one in this little installment of coaching session. 4 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: I hope you've enjoyed them, got something out of them, 5 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 1: something useful, and maybe even more importantly, I hope you've 6 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: done something with the thing that you found useful. So 7 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: we spoke a lot over the last couple of days, 8 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: or the last couple of sessions, I should say, about 9 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: trying to understand, you know, the feedback that life is 10 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: giving us. What we what's my life telling me? What 11 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: are we going to do with that? Starts with awareness, 12 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: the acknowledgment, then a decision, and then some action and 13 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: some on which I think that's a good kind of 14 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: door to open for us. Then we spoke about the 15 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: idea of the quality of our questions relating or correlating 16 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: to the quality of our life, with thinking being that 17 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: when I ask myself for better question, I'm more likely 18 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: to gain a level of awareness that I didn't have 19 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: or couldn't have achieved without the question, because I start 20 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: to think about all the underlying stuff rather than just 21 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: looking at the outcomes. In isolation. So we absolutely know 22 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 1: that there is a relationship between the quality of the 23 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: questions that I ask and the outcomes that I produce 24 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: due to all those middle bits. You know. So I 25 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: ask a good question, then I'm more resourceful, more creative, 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: more solution focused. I tend to make better decisions. I 27 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: tend to do better things because I ask better questions. 28 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 1: I've got some clarity perspective, and so that is a 29 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: really good way to create shift. That is a really 30 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: good way to increase one's self awareness and also to 31 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: get a level of I guess, understanding and insight about us. 32 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: Why do I do these things? What is like? What 33 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: do I eat this way? What do I socialize this way? 34 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 1: Why do I respond or react that way? What is 35 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: what is the reason behind all of that? Not so 36 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: that we can self loathe or criticize, but so that 37 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: we can understand us more with the the premise of 38 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: much of what I teach and coach is about, well, 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: if I understand me better and secondly others better. But 40 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,239 Speaker 1: if I start with me and I understand me better, 41 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: then I can self manage and self regulate and improve 42 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: my self awareness so that I don't stay what's the 43 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: word I'm going to say, stuck in that behavioral groove 44 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: or that ritual or that that habit that isn't particularly 45 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: helpful or healthy. We spoke a lot about how we 46 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: think and why we think the way that we do, 47 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: and our drivers, our motivators, our underlying reasons, which we 48 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: put that all into the category of what's my why, 49 00:02:54,639 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 1: What is the underlying thing that's driving me worseeeing me, 50 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: prompting me, forcing me, even though it's me to do 51 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: the stuff that I do, the good stuff and the 52 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: bad again, all about understanding. We spoke about understanding on 53 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 1: a metacognitive level, exactly why I do Oh because Mum, 54 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: because Dad, or this environment or school, or the media 55 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: and social media that I'm exposed to, the ideas and 56 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: philosophies and theology, and all of the things that I 57 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: have been exposed to and you have been exposed to 58 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: up until right now listening to this, all of those 59 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: things have contributed to your version of reality, your cognitive landscape, 60 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: your emotional landscape, your beliefs, your ideas, your ideologies, your philosophies, 61 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: your fears, your phobias, your values, everything that makes up 62 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: that internal cognitive and psychological, so brain stuff and then 63 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: the psychological stuff which is intertwined, and then stuff, and 64 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: under that would be the fear stuff and the overthinking 65 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: stuff and the self doubt stuff, all of those myriad 66 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 1: of factors internal we'll just call them the internal stuff 67 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: that influences, if not controls, how you see life, how 68 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: you respond to life, how you either become a passenger 69 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: in your own life. So you're not running the show. 70 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: You're like a character in a story, the you story 71 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,679 Speaker 1: that you're not actually writing. So how do we become 72 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: the creator of our own journey, the creator of our 73 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: own destiny, the writer of our own story? All of 74 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,359 Speaker 1: that stuff and more so, now that we cover the 75 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: kind of why do I think the way that I do? 76 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,400 Speaker 1: Where did my reality come from? Where did my subjective 77 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: version of the world come from? I think the next 78 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: thing to think about is does it work? Does the 79 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: way that I we're talking broadly speaking, does my attitude 80 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: broadly speaking in relation to life and work and other 81 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: people and health and wellness? And does my outlook work? 82 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: Does my attitude work? Do my beliefs kind of support 83 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: me or sabotage me? Do they propel me up? Or 84 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: do they drag me down. So it's thinking about that, 85 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: and then what I want to talk about. First question 86 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: tonight I want to address is not why do I 87 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: think the way that we do, because we've done that, 88 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: but rather how can I change the way I think? 89 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: So I've prepared nothing other than the question, big surprise. 90 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: So if i'm meander, if I stop and start a little, 91 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: forgive me, because this is organic, real time coaching, without notes, 92 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: This is me thinking as I go. So if I 93 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: start with me as an example, there were a lot 94 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,479 Speaker 1: of things that I used to think and believe and 95 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 1: accept as absolute truth that turned out not to be 96 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: absolute truth, that turned out not to be real, that 97 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: turned out not to be the best way to think, 98 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 1: not the best ideas for me, not the best plans 99 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: for me, and many of those I didn't really choose, 100 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:25,119 Speaker 1: perhaps none of them, I guess generally, as I've said before, 101 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 1: these things kind of happen. The way that we think 102 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: is just a byproduct of stuff. It's a by product 103 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: of where we've been and what we've seen, and who's 104 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 1: been around us, and who we listen to, who we respect, 105 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: who we like, who we pay attention to. And this 106 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: could be real people in real time in the three 107 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,600 Speaker 1: D dimension that is life, where you're bumping into them, 108 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: working with them, going to school with them, living with them, 109 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: hanging out with them, socializing with them. So there's that. 110 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: But then I think the better question, or the bigger 111 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: question that comes from that, is how can I change 112 00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: the way I think? Because you can't just think think 113 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: yourself into different thinking. Right, So what I have done, 114 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 1: and what I've supported many other people in doing, is 115 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: a few things. And one is not because necessarily you 116 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: want to latch onto some new theory or idea or 117 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: operating system, but rather because you want to become more informed. 118 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: You want to understand a world bigger than your mind. 119 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: You want to understand a reality, or at least have 120 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:38,559 Speaker 1: a peek into a reality that isn't yours. I wrote 121 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: something earlier about hang on, let me just turn around 122 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: some my whiteboard. No it's not, I wiped it off anyway, 123 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: I think I wrote. Yeah. The question that we should 124 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: all ask ourselves at something like this is could I 125 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: be wrong? Could I be wrong? Think about that? How 126 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: many of us go through life certain values and certain beliefs, 127 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 1: and certain ideas and ideals and things that we cognitively, psychologically, sociologically, 128 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 1: emotionally hold on to and we believe. I'm not saying 129 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: we shouldn't have belief, but do we ever think, oh, 130 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: could I be wrong? Or even in the middle of 131 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: an argument, when we're going at it with someone and 132 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: we know we're right, We know we're right, that's why 133 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: we're arguing because they're wrong. Of course they're wrong. Of 134 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 1: course we're right. How many times in the middle of 135 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: that do we truly and I mean there's no bullshit, 136 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: no bullshitting yourself, do we honestly think I wonder if 137 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: she's right and I'm wrong, like humbly, authentically consider the 138 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: real possibility that what's coming out of my mouth might 139 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: be flawed. It might be a bit wrong, it might 140 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: be totally wrong, it might be a complete untruth. I 141 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: think about how many times I've gotten things wrong, how 142 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: many mistakes I've made, how many beliefs I have that 143 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: turned out to be flawed beliefs, how many truths I 144 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: held onto that weren't truths, they were just my version 145 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: of the truth. This is one of the challenges with 146 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: being human is that we can simultaneously build and inhabit 147 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,680 Speaker 1: a personal reality all the while thinking this is not 148 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: a personal reality. This is Capital thhe v universal reality. 149 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,839 Speaker 1: So this is not Craig real, This is just real. 150 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: And so one of the ways that we begin to 151 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: change the way that we think is to begin to 152 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 1: consider the fact that, oh, there things that I think 153 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,120 Speaker 1: might be wrong. Well, no, shit, Sherlock, of course they 154 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 1: fucking can do. You know why? Because you get things 155 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: wrong probably every day, you probably have for years and years, 156 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: not because you're bad or flawed or broken, because you're normal, 157 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: because you're a human and humans get shit wrong. I mean, 158 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 1: stud and learning and researching my ass off forever, I 159 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: still think I probably get just as many things wrong 160 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: as before I started the journey. Doesn't mean I don't 161 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: have more knowledge, doesn't mean I am not a bit 162 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: more educated, of course I am. But I'm still flawed, 163 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: I still have ego. I still want to be right sometimes, 164 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 1: although I'm aware of that wanting to be right, and 165 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: I try to mitigate that in real time. And so 166 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: being able to change the way that we think needs 167 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: to at some stage come with a recognition of the 168 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,959 Speaker 1: way that I think might be flawed, or it might 169 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: be problematic, or my thoughts lead to paranoia, or my 170 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: thoughts lead to obsession or are overthinking, or a myriad 171 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: of other states that we don't want to be in. 172 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: Do they serve me my thoughts or do they sabotage me? 173 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 1: Do they get out of my way? Do they help 174 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,199 Speaker 1: me get out of my own way? Or do they 175 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: get in my way? And so when we talk to 176 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: other people, we have conversations, and we don't have conversations 177 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: coming from the perspective of I want to tell them 178 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,120 Speaker 1: what's right. I want to talk at them, not with them. 179 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: I want to talk with them. I actually want to 180 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: say less and listen more. Now that doesn't mean when 181 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: I open myself up to other concepts or ideas or 182 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: philosophies that I need to adhere to them or embrace 183 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: them or even like them. I can still consider someone 184 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: else's perspective and think that's dog shit. I can, and 185 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 1: I do sometimes. But sometimes I think A and someone 186 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: else thinks B, and I pull my ego in, and 187 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: I pull my head in, and I pull my shitty 188 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: self esteem in and I just go hmm, I wonder 189 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 1: if that's true, or I wonder if part of that's true. 190 00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 1: And also having the awareness to realize that my my world, 191 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: the Craig world. Nobody lives in that. Nobody lives in 192 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: the Craig world. Nobody lives in the Craig mind. Thank God, 193 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: they all say, rejoicing. Nobody lives in my mind. Nobody 194 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: lives in my beliefs or values. We might overlap and 195 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: intersect a little bit, but nobody on the planet thinks 196 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: the way that I do consistently every day, just like 197 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: nobody does you. And so our challenges not to be right, 198 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:33,959 Speaker 1: but I guess in a cheesy way righteous where we're like, oh, 199 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:38,079 Speaker 1: I'm okay with being wrong. I'm okay with being flawed. 200 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 1: And if I'm not okay, then I'm trapped in ego 201 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: because I am wrong, i am flawed. I'm also right 202 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: at times. I'm also perfect or close too at times. 203 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: I'm also brilliant at times. I'm also funny and creative 204 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: and lovable and likable and generous and empathetic. I'm all 205 00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:00,040 Speaker 1: of those things, and sometimes I'm a fuck with This 206 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: is the human experience where we try not to win 207 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,800 Speaker 1: an argument and the moment that we are concrete or 208 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 1: fixed in our thinking. Okay, this is how the world works. 209 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,959 Speaker 1: According to me, and everyone who doesn't align with how 210 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,880 Speaker 1: I think the world works, they're wrong. And so what 211 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 1: do I do? I only pay attention to people who 212 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: resonate with my thinking, to people who resonate with my 213 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: beliefs and ideals. In other words, I only resonate with 214 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,000 Speaker 1: people who are essentially a version of me. Wow, fuck, 215 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: be drunk. That's a massive exercise in ego. Sorry about 216 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: that little swear bit there, everybody. That was a bit 217 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,839 Speaker 1: too craigish, wasn't. It's how I talk, It's that's an 218 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 1: exercise in ego and insecurity. Ah, I need people to 219 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: think like me, because if I'm wrong. See, here's the thing. 220 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: When we find out maybe you've been believing or thinking 221 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: something for twenty years, so your sense of self and 222 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,679 Speaker 1: your self esteem and your self worth, and your certainty 223 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: and your comfort and your predictability is all tied in 224 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: to that thing being right. Now, if all of a sudden, 225 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: that thing you believe for twenty five years, or thought 226 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: for twenty five years, or five years, for that matter 227 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: of fact, if all of a sudden you somehow discover, hey, 228 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: that's actually not true. Not only is it kind of 229 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: not true, it's completely fucking untrue. For many of us. 230 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: That is a huge source of stress and distress. So 231 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 1: let's maybe fall in love with learning. Let's maybe fall 232 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: in love with being less attached to our stuff. Let's 233 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: not look for our identity in our thoughts or in 234 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 1: our certainty about the way things are. And of course 235 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 1: we're still going to have guiding principles I do and values, sure, 236 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 1: and I have certain ideas and beliefs, and some of 237 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: those beliefs are pretty strong. But I know there's nothing 238 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 1: that I can as I'm talking to you right now 239 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: at nine nineteen on Monday, the sixteenth of sixteenth of 240 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 1: the second February, definitely not November. There's nothing that I 241 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 1: can think of right now just in terms of general 242 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 1: beliefs and ideas and that I'm positive I'm right about positive. 243 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm pretty sure. But I've been pretty sure 244 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 1: about a lot of things. So I don't think we 245 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: should be riddled with doubt. I think we should be 246 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: riddled with awareness and humility, and to try to recognize 247 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: the thought patterns or the ideas, or the standards that 248 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,680 Speaker 1: we put in place, or the rules that we create, 249 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:53,120 Speaker 1: or the psychological emotional behavior rituals that we create, identify them, 250 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: write them down, and say this is me getting in 251 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: my own way, and then consciously, creatively and intentionally think 252 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: about Okay, so instead of this thought or this idea 253 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: or this principle or this behavior, what's an option? What's 254 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: an option? And I've used this too many times, but 255 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: I'll just use it because it's clear and it's relatable. 256 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: So I grew up, as you know, in a religious 257 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: house and continued on a religious journey for quite a while, 258 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: jumping in and out of different things and reading lots 259 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: and sitting in front of lots of in inverted commas teachers, 260 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: some of them good, some of them shit. I got 261 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: taught good things, I got taught bad things. I got programmed, 262 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: as does everybody who belongs to a group. We're all 263 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: getting programmed. Don't think it's just religious people. And like 264 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: many people, I wanted to believe because I wanted to belong. 265 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: I wanted to believe because I wanted to be part 266 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: of something bigger than me. But the truth is the 267 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 1: objective truth, not the Craig subjective truth is. The objective 268 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 1: truth is that some of the people that I trusted 269 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 1: weren't trustworthy. Some of the things I were taught were 270 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: untrue or misleading. So when I expose myself now to 271 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: new ideas and new thinking and new people and new conversations, 272 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,400 Speaker 1: then I'm opening a new cognitive, psychological, and emotional door. 273 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 1: And when I hear about somebody coming up with, let's say, 274 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:39,919 Speaker 1: and eating and eating philosophy or ideology that is not mine. 275 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 1: And of course initially I'm resistant because I've been talking 276 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 1: about food my whole life, thinking about food my whole life, 277 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 1: teaching others, writing programs and not diets, but writing overall 278 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: programs for people where we talk about diet and all 279 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: of these things. And guess what, I know everything. I 280 00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,439 Speaker 1: know everything because I've been doing this since I was haden, 281 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,639 Speaker 1: which was four four years ago. So I fucking know. 282 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:05,200 Speaker 1: Guess what, Champ, Guess what, Jumbo, Guess what? Fatty Harps. 283 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,160 Speaker 1: You don't fucking know. You just think you know. There 284 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: are some things that he writes on. There are some 285 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,600 Speaker 1: things you're kind of right but not quite, and some 286 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:18,679 Speaker 1: things you're totally incorrect about, and that is okay. I 287 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: think it's our okayness with being wrong that is the 288 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: real breakthrough. Sometimes the challenge is not to learn. Sometimes 289 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 1: the challenge is to unlearn. Because you have learned and 290 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,160 Speaker 1: I have learned, and I put that word in inverted 291 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:43,360 Speaker 1: commas with an asterisk. You and I have learned things 292 00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: that are actually the problem because the things that we 293 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 1: learned were flawed, the things that we believed were not 294 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 1: wholly correct, the things that we believed right were problematic. 295 00:18:55,680 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: And then when we believe something emphatically, then we rap emotion. 296 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,719 Speaker 1: That's a dangerous thing, it's a human thing, but we 297 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: wrap emotion around that belief, and then down the track 298 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 1: that emotion grows, that belief in that idea grows, that 299 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,959 Speaker 1: devotion to that thing grows, and now there is no 300 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: difference between who we are and the things that we 301 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,560 Speaker 1: think we are, the things that we think our beliefs 302 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,680 Speaker 1: tell you who we are. Oh, tell me about you. 303 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,400 Speaker 1: I am a Buddhist. Tell me about you. I'm a Christian, 304 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: I'm a vegetarian, I'm a this. We don't talk about ourselves. 305 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,200 Speaker 1: We talk about the things that we do. Oh well, 306 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: you eat vegetables. Oh well, you go to church. Oh 307 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: you build houses. But that's not who at your core 308 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,239 Speaker 1: you are. That's your job, that's your interest. That's what 309 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 1: you think about, that's where you go. They're the people 310 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: you hang out with. So this is where we kind 311 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,159 Speaker 1: of and if I'm rambling there turn off. But anyway, 312 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 1: I love this shit. Then we start to get to 313 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: the well, who am I beyond the things I'm not? 314 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 1: Because I'm not a job, I'm not a body even 315 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: I'm not a weight. I'm not a size, I'm not 316 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 1: a number. I'm not an outfit. I'm not a face. 317 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: I'm not a pair of biceps. I'm not a bank balance. 318 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: I'm not a review on Google. I'm not someone's opinion. 319 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 1: And when we start to discount the things that we're not, 320 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 1: but the places we ironically look to see who we are. 321 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: I want people to respect me as a whatever, as 322 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: a builder, as a master builder, as a very fucking 323 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,359 Speaker 1: good podcast, as an academic. Because I'm smart. I want this. 324 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 1: I want that. It's all insecure bullshit, because I am 325 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,160 Speaker 1: what I am. I am who I am, and what 326 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: people think of me doesn't change who I am. This 327 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: is very easily said Craig Harper. I understand, do I 328 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,960 Speaker 1: ever worry about what people think think of me? Truthfully, 329 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,679 Speaker 1: not often, but ever, of course I do did, I 330 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 1: used to oh all the fucking time. I was so 331 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 1: obsessed and so insecure about what people thought of me. 332 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 1: I was constantly looking for approval from people who not 333 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: only don't they love me, they fucking want me to fail. 334 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,920 Speaker 1: They take joy in my mishaps and yours. And that's 335 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,440 Speaker 1: not nice. It's not nice, but it's real. There's lots 336 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 1: of things that are real in life, lots of situations 337 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: and lots of parts of the human condition which are 338 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: kind of fucking ugly, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't 339 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: talk about it. Some people want you to win no 340 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 1: matter what. Some people are all team you, no matter what, 341 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 1: and that's lovely and that's beautiful. Guess what, it's not 342 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,880 Speaker 1: very common. What's far more common is people who kind 343 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: of resent you when you do well. And so it's 344 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,159 Speaker 1: in our interest to understand all of this without feeling 345 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,879 Speaker 1: happy or sad about it. Hard, I know, but to 346 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 1: understand all this is how the world works, not every person, 347 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:09,720 Speaker 1: not every time. And so when I start to intersect 348 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 1: with new people, open myself to new ideas, new cultures, 349 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: new thinking, new information. When I start to look at 350 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 1: research that doesn't support what I already believe and think, oh, 351 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 1: that can't be the best way to train, because I've 352 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,680 Speaker 1: been training for nearly fifty years and I know, so 353 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 1: don't fucking come with me. You're twenty two year old 354 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: with your bit of science. Fuck you and fuck your science. Right, 355 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,879 Speaker 1: that's bullshit. That's me. I'm the problem. I'm not saying 356 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 1: I need to believe them or believe their science, but 357 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,920 Speaker 1: maybe it's worth considering them, listening to them, reading the research, 358 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 1: seeing how it's done, seeing what the outcome was, because 359 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 1: maybe I'm going to unlearn and relearn because maybe I 360 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 1: got it wrong. Can we get something wrong fifty years course? 361 00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 1: Of course? So how do we change the way we think? Well, firstly, 362 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,360 Speaker 1: we don't assume we're right. We assume we could be right, 363 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 1: and we don't confuse my opinion for my facts. A 364 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,000 Speaker 1: lot of the things that we call truth or fact 365 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 1: or absolute, they're not. They're your version of facts, they're 366 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:25,480 Speaker 1: my version of the truth. And so when we stop 367 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 1: believing that what we think and our worldview is the worldview, 368 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,560 Speaker 1: our belief is the truth, it is the one path. 369 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: And I don't want to bang on, but again, just 370 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: to convenient example, when we think about all of the 371 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:48,360 Speaker 1: different religions in the world, big and small, there's over 372 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 1: four thousand. There's probably a lot more, but that we 373 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: kind of know of. There's about four thousand. And essentially, essentially, 374 00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: every religion thinks they're the right religion. Everythink's every religion 375 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: thinks the other religions are wrong. Ergo they exist, We exist. 376 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,640 Speaker 1: We believe that this group got it wrong for these reasons, 377 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,879 Speaker 1: and that group got it wrong for that reason. And 378 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 1: by the way, we have a hot line to God. No, 379 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: they think they have a hot line to God. Maybe 380 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: they do. I don't know, but is there any evidence. 381 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: Now I know that belief is about faith. I get that. 382 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: But faith, as we've discussed on this show before, faith 383 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: is believing in something you can't prove, which is why 384 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 1: it's not called knowledge. It's called belief, which is why 385 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,119 Speaker 1: it's not called knowledge. It's called faith. I can have faith. 386 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 1: I can believe there's a God. I can believe that 387 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,959 Speaker 1: the Bible's true or partly true. I can believe that 388 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: God heals. I can believe all these things. But also, 389 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: and this is where people recoil. Believers recoil because they 390 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: don't want to think that possibly it's not true, or 391 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,439 Speaker 1: some of it's not true, because who they are is 392 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: so into twined with being right about that book or 393 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 1: that theology or this book or that sacred text or whatever, 394 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: that they have lost the ability to think anything else 395 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: or to be open to anything else, which is the 396 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,199 Speaker 1: opposite of what we claim to be. What do we 397 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,920 Speaker 1: claim to be? Most people open minded? Put up your hand. 398 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 1: If you think your open mind that I ask a 399 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: room of one hundred people, one hundred hands go up. 400 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: Put up your hand. If you think you're for the 401 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 1: most part objective, one hundred hands go up. Right. Because 402 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: we like to see ourselves not as closed minded, but 403 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 1: we are closed minded as fuck about many things. Because 404 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 1: if I am wrong, then I am uncertain. Now. I 405 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: hate uncertainty. It scares me. I like certainty, So this 406 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:56,199 Speaker 1: is certain I like predictability. And guess what, as soon 407 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: as we open that door, if I could be wrong while 408 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: there's of predictability, we like comfort, Well, that makes me uncomfortable. 409 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: Fuck that idea. I'm right. Oh yeah, I'm right. We're right. 410 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 1: Our groups right, our church, out theology, our doctrine, our 411 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: whatever is right. Now. I'm not challenging any particular group, 412 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:20,159 Speaker 1: I'm talking about how the fuck we think This is 413 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: a matter of thinking, Yes, you can have faith and belief, 414 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 1: and yes, you know. Will I get things wrong in 415 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:32,440 Speaker 1: this podcast? Even as I'm talking, I recognize that I'm 416 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 1: probably not doing the best job of what I'm trying 417 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,080 Speaker 1: to share. I recognize that I recognize every day that 418 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: I'm not the best podcast on the planet or in 419 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: the top one hundred. Probably. I realize that I'm flawed. 420 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 1: I realize that, you know, I do so many things wrong. 421 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: Guess what, That's okay, because that's not going to stop. 422 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,640 Speaker 1: Will I get things wrong in the future, Yes, will 423 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:55,000 Speaker 1: you get things wrong in the future. Yes. If I 424 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: wait till I have no flaws, no faults, and I 425 00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 1: know everything and I'm certain and I'm right about everything, well, 426 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: I will never fucking start doing anything. I will never 427 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: help anyone, coach anyone. I will never think out loud, 428 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,200 Speaker 1: because that is an impossibility, that perfection is an impossibility, 429 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: that knowing all is an impossibility. Having an absolute revelation 430 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: to yourself that nobody has like only you know this, 431 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: everyone else who doesn't agree with you, or maybe other 432 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: people agree with you, so we listen to them again. 433 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: Confirmation bias. But if they don't align with us, they're 434 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: the enemy. So we change the way that we think 435 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 1: when it needs to be changed. Maybe we don't need 436 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,639 Speaker 1: to change the way we think about many things. Probably not. 437 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 1: But there might be a couple of beliefs or ideas 438 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 1: or programmed kind of operating systems that you didn't choose 439 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: that are a byproduct of where you've been and who 440 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: you've been with, and what you've heard and what you've 441 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,399 Speaker 1: read and what you've been exposed to, and now they 442 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 1: form unconsciously part of how you do and how you are, 443 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,639 Speaker 1: and how you think and how you operate in the world. 444 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,439 Speaker 1: And you have limiting beliefs that you never chose, You 445 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:14,880 Speaker 1: have limiting ideas that you never chose. They just arose 446 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: in you over time as a byproduct of what I 447 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 1: call social osmosis, where you just get that from other 448 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:26,480 Speaker 1: people and are really easy to understand. Example is how 449 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: many kids that barrack for Collingwood or Carlton or Richmond 450 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: or whoever these are teams in the AFL Australian Football League. 451 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,920 Speaker 1: For my overseas listeners, they believe for a certain team 452 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: because mum did or Dad did or both. And so 453 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: in our family, we know Collingwood's the best team and 454 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: Carlton a shit. And if you think I'm joking about that, 455 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 1: they absolutely believe that to the point where they hate 456 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,400 Speaker 1: other teams. I'm not talking pretend to hate, No, they 457 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: fucking hate them right now. I understand the emotion of 458 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 1: being a supporter and a fan and involved in I 459 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,280 Speaker 1: get all of that, But we can extrapolate that kind 460 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 1: of religious fervor and that kind of over the top 461 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: absoluteness of thinking to a lot of things beyond religion 462 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 1: and beyond sport. So how do I finish this? I 463 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: feel like a good place to start is just to 464 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 1: go gently, don't beat yourself up, but just quietly and 465 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:37,560 Speaker 1: courageously think about some of the things that you're scared 466 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: to even question that belief. Because if you're right, you'll 467 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: come back to the same place and you might discover 468 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: you're exactly right, You've been right all along, and that's well, 469 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 1: that's a great outcome. But what if you are holding 470 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 1: onto something that isn't the truth. What if you're holding 471 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 1: on to the story that you're not good enough, smart enough, 472 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 1: talented enough, something enough to do something that you actually 473 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 1: can do like you have the potential to do it. 474 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: But your story is your belief is your thinking is ah, 475 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,239 Speaker 1: I could never do that. We actually could, but it 476 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: just scares the shit out of you. But if your 477 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: story is, well, I just don't have that talent or 478 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: that potential, then it makes a lot of sense that 479 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 1: you don't try because you don't have that ability. What 480 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,239 Speaker 1: if you're not trying has got nothing to do with 481 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 1: your ability or potential or capacity, and everything to do 482 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 1: with fear, everything to do with your self limiting thinking. 483 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: All right, team, food for thought, See you next time.