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Speaker 1: Goody Champions. It's HAPs, It's Tiffany Cook, It's Brianna May,

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Speaker 1: It's Sasa, It's the Bloody You Project. Who else would

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Speaker 1: it be? Where else would you be? Hi?

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Speaker 2: Tiv high harps Happy Friday?

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Speaker 1: Oh fuck so happy? It's Friday, bursting out of a

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Speaker 1: fucking flannel. In fact, I don't even have my flannel,

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Speaker 1: and I'll put on my because Brianna's fucking glammed right up.

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Speaker 1: Unlike you and I, who look like we just got

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Speaker 1: out of the hay shed.

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Speaker 3: We're in insecurity central now. She rocked up and we

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Speaker 3: just hung her heads in shame.

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Speaker 1: Look at her like fucking miss will just swans in.

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Speaker 1: I'm wearing my formal everlast T shirt, which cost nine

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Speaker 1: bucks at the outlet fucking factory.

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Speaker 4: She's quite Melissa like, isn't she.

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Speaker 1: She's a little bit Melissa like Melissa works with us, Brianna.

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Speaker 4: She she's the actual boss of both stunning porcelain dole. Brianna.

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Speaker 5: I'd like to point out that I've got tracky pants

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Speaker 5: on and like literally an old jumper.

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Speaker 2: I'm wearing my.

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Speaker 4: Slippers, this old fish up, this old thing.

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Speaker 2: You can't see me from below, but I'm quite cozy

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Speaker 2: if I want.

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Speaker 1: You to use this as a primo reel, because people

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Speaker 1: are going to listen and go, oh, what are they

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Speaker 1: talking about? Then they're going to see the primo reel

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Speaker 1: and go, oh my god, those two ugly motherfuckers up

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Speaker 1: the top.

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Speaker 2: Stop it.

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Speaker 1: About you.

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Speaker 5: This might be I have to share a lot of

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Speaker 5: people do mention and I have. I have very fake teeth,

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Speaker 5: and they are in fact fake because I went through

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Speaker 5: my years of having like, I knocked them all out,

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Speaker 5: and so I've got these porcelain, beautiful teeth because I

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Speaker 5: knocked them all out and I spent high school having

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Speaker 5: know I shit, you not like gummy shark, no teeth

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Speaker 5: fifteen sixteen years old. So when people comment on my

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Speaker 5: porcelain teeth, I have to share that I.

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Speaker 2: Earned these teeth. I earned them through a lot of

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Speaker 2: hard yaker.

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Speaker 1: How did you get your teeth? Well, if you were Tiff,

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Speaker 1: I would the stand because TIFs a boxer, But how

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Speaker 1: did you She's knocked out a few of her own,

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Speaker 1: not her own, but other people's because she's like that,

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Speaker 1: how did you lose your teeth?

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Speaker 5: I'd really love to say it was something cool like that,

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Speaker 5: but it was not. I actually fainted. I think I

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Speaker 5: had the shower too hot when I was, you know,

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Speaker 5: in the shower as you do when you're a teenager.

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Speaker 5: You're moody and you're in the shower for ages trying

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Speaker 5: to avoid your parents, which.

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Speaker 2: Is exactly what I was doing. I'd had a fight with.

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Speaker 5: My dad because I'd been out drinking, doing the wrong things.

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Speaker 5: Fainted coming out the shower and went down on the

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Speaker 5: side of the bar, and so it was actually very traumatic.

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Speaker 5: My dad found me. He heard a loud noise, couldn't

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Speaker 5: get in, found me unconscious on the floor. There was blood,

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Speaker 5: there was teeth. I just had my braces off, so

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Speaker 5: he was just like, fuck, like, just got my braces off.

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Speaker 2: I had perfect teeth.

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Speaker 5: And then I spent the next four months doing like

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Speaker 5: full on reconstruction of my face, going to high school

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Speaker 5: with no teeth, no lip.

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Speaker 2: They had to stitch my lip back on. It was

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Speaker 2: a hole. It was a thing.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is that is Yeah, that's traumatic,

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Speaker 1: that's melodramatic. There's a bloody mini series in that. There

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Speaker 1: are how long between that and when you were back

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Speaker 1: to kind of you know, some semblance of normal where

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Speaker 1: you were happy with your gob and your teeth and

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Speaker 1: to go out in public.

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Speaker 5: It was three months of full on not having many

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Speaker 5: teeth in my mouth at all, and then it's honestly

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Speaker 5: been the last since then. So it's been about fifteen

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Speaker 5: years until I just got them done this year before

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Speaker 5: I got married.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, well for what it's worth from one bogain

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Speaker 1: to another. Although you're a glamorous bogan, they look fucking fabulous,

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Speaker 1: so well done.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, And it was a great party trip.

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Speaker 5: When I was younger and clubbing, I could just knock

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Speaker 5: them out when guys were giving me the he begbi's,

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Speaker 5: I'd turn and knock my teeth out.

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Speaker 2: And that you got rid of it.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that would yep, that's yeah. You could just say no,

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Speaker 1: but all right, there's that. Also if your teeth are

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Speaker 1: very good, have you ever had any significant work done?

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Speaker 3: No, No, I'm very lucky. I've never had braces or anything.

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Speaker 3: They've always been quite straight. Grew up in a lolly

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Speaker 3: shop too, so probably should have no teeth left.

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Speaker 1: Wow. I know Beattie Harps has got like one. I

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Speaker 1: got one feeling for one hundred and twenty two year

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Speaker 1: old man. My teeth are not too terrible either.

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Speaker 3: I've had a few feelings, I'll tell you that much.

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Speaker 3: They just look straight. Cosmetically they look good, but if

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Speaker 3: you get in amongst it, there's a few bit of

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Speaker 3: porcelain in there.

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Speaker 1: There's a few issues where.

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Speaker 3: It's called yeah, a bit of mercury too. Going to

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Speaker 3: get those silver ones out, apparently you.

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Speaker 1: Get that shit out of your God, that's going to

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Speaker 1: kill you, Brianna. So I don't have to read some

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Speaker 1: not that it's boring, but some bio that's on a

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Speaker 1: website tell my audience a little bit about you, if

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Speaker 1: you would be so gracious.

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Speaker 5: Of course, other than being a bogan with beautiful tea,

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Speaker 5: I would say mostly, I'm a student, and because I'm

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Speaker 5: a student, I love learning. I love understanding humans. I've

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Speaker 5: been someone who's spent a long time studying, and that

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Speaker 5: led me down doing lots of different degrees and being

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Speaker 5: quite disappointed actually, as somebody who loves learning, to find

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Speaker 5: myself in all of these tertiary spaces, bored shitless a

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Speaker 5: lot of the time, and quite disengaged, although I wanted

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Speaker 5: to love learning, and then that led me, because I

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Speaker 5: love learning so much, to being a teacher and I

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Speaker 5: was a high school teacher for quite a long time

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Speaker 5: and unfortunately have joined the droves of other disillusioned, disheartened

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Speaker 5: educators who have left the system. And while I was

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Speaker 5: in the system, I sort of saw the same reflection

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Speaker 5: back all these kids who started school with such a

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Speaker 5: love of learning, and I could almost see every single

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Speaker 5: year like that genuine curiosity just dying.

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Speaker 2: And I almost couldn't blame them.

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Speaker 5: Because as the educator, as the teacher, I was kind

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Speaker 5: of bored by the curriculum. I was stressed, I was

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Speaker 5: feeling uninspired, and I just made a cheeky comment to

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Speaker 5: a lot of my teachers when I left. To my

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Speaker 5: teacher friends, I was like, oh fuck, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 5: have to build my own school, because I actually loved

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Speaker 5: teaching more than anything in the world. I love the students,

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Speaker 5: I loved the deep conversations we had, and I felt

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Speaker 5: like the system was doing a disservice. So I made

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Speaker 5: a joke that I'd build a school, and that's actually

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Speaker 5: what I did. And I started teaching around mindset emotional intelligence,

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Speaker 5: and I really wanted to help people to learn how

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Speaker 5: to think and how to manage their feelings and to

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Speaker 5: ignite love love for learning again too.

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Speaker 1: I love it well. We talk a lot about thinking.

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Speaker 1: My PhD is in metaps, better awareness, meta accuracy, which

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Speaker 1: is all around, you know, kind of thinking about how

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Speaker 1: we think, thinking about how we think, thinking about how

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Speaker 1: others think, theory of mine, and thinking about how others

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Speaker 1: think about us or how we are perceived by others

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Speaker 1: and why that matters. It's a really like what's interesting

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Speaker 1: is And I apologize to my listeners who've heard me

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Speaker 1: talk about this too much, but I'll keep a brief

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Speaker 1: But most people don't truly think about how they think

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Speaker 1: or why they think the way that they think, and

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Speaker 1: what the origin story is for their worldview or the

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Speaker 1: window through which they view the world, Like why do

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Speaker 1: I think like this one? And two? Does it serve

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Speaker 1: me or sabotage me? And three? Can I change it? For?

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Speaker 1: How you know? It's like, as I've said many times,

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Speaker 1: us three are in the same chat, but we're not

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Speaker 1: in the same experience. Not good, bad, not better or worse,

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Speaker 1: just different. So tell me about how did you get

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Speaker 1: clarity about designing? And this ain't a sales pitch everyone,

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Speaker 1: by the way, just if it kind of sounds like

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Speaker 1: I don't mean it too. I'm just curious around because

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Speaker 1: when people say to me the same thing, like what

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Speaker 1: do you do, I go, well, I'm about eighty percent student,

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Speaker 1: about twenty percent teacher. How did you decide what to

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Speaker 1: put in your syllabus or your content and what to

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Speaker 1: leave out? Knowing that if you've got twenty people in

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Speaker 1: a group, you've got twenty different backgrounds and needs and

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Speaker 1: personalities and learning styles, how did you start to put

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Speaker 1: it all together?

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Speaker 5: This was a process, I have to say, and as

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Speaker 5: someone who spent years doing curriculum and course building and

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Speaker 5: learning how to build rapport with so many different students,

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Speaker 5: putting something together for my school was one of the

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Speaker 5: most challenging things I've ever done professionally because of what

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Speaker 5: you just said, And so I think the first thing

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Speaker 5: that I considered was not so much what I'm putting

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Speaker 5: in it, but how I'm delivering it, because I think

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Speaker 5: that's a huge piece that educators or teachers, podcasters, content

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Speaker 5: creators often miss is how is this going to be received?

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Speaker 5: How do we get people even engaged in learning? Because

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Speaker 5: I don't know about you, but I remember some professors

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Speaker 5: at UNI they could be.

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Speaker 2: Talking about the most fucking boring thing.

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Speaker 5: But if they were an engaging person and they knew

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Speaker 5: how to articulate it in a way that was engaging,

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Speaker 5: I would listen to anything with the right person communicating

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Speaker 5: it the right way. So I actually was spending a

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Speaker 5: lot of time thinking about how do I make this engaging,

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Speaker 5: no matter what the content is, so that people are

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Speaker 5: coming like with learning in mind, And for me that

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Speaker 5: actually meant I mean, there's so much online learning now

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Speaker 5: and personally, I was a teacher during COVID, and it's

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Speaker 5: not to me, it was just so disengaging. It was

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Speaker 5: so hard to keep students engaged. So I went more

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Speaker 5: back to the old way in person, in person teaching

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Speaker 5: and learning, and for me personally, I just thought that

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Speaker 5: was so much more engaging. But then with what to

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Speaker 5: put in it, I did see and I'm sure you'll

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Speaker 5: resonate with this in the personal development and I'm that space.

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Speaker 5: The personal development space, it's almost like there's two modalities

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Speaker 5: or two schools of thought, and you've always got that

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Speaker 5: sort of like mindset NLP, change your thoughts, what's your thoughts?

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Speaker 5: The cognitive behavior therapy, the mindset, and all of those

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Speaker 5: tools that we can use, and I saw those as

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Speaker 5: very very very helpful and very foundational, especially if I

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Speaker 5: was looking through the lens of what mindset do people

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Speaker 5: need to learn? And so I was looking at that,

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Speaker 5: but then I could see that there is a time

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Speaker 5: and a nuance where those tools become a weapon, and

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Speaker 5: they can be a little bit toxic, almost like don't

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Speaker 5: think bad thoughts, don't think.

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Speaker 2: You know, push that away, put that away.

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Speaker 5: And so I didn't want it to be all that,

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Speaker 5: and that's when I brought in the other content, which

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Speaker 5: was more around the emotional intelligence of knowing what tools

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Speaker 5: to use and when and knowing when to feel your

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Speaker 5: feelings as opposed to when to override them in instances

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Speaker 5: where it's needed. And so I sort of built this

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Speaker 5: curriculum where I wanted to give lots of tools, but

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Speaker 5: then also the understanding that sometimes tools become weapons, and

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Speaker 5: the real emotional intelligence is knowing what you need and

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Speaker 5: when and why you might be using some and why

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Speaker 5: you might be resisting others. You know, I was somebody

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Speaker 5: who really resisted all the emotional stuff. I was like,

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Speaker 5: let me do the mindset. I can do the mindset,

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Speaker 5: that's easy. But emotional stuff was a little bit more

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Speaker 5: challenging to me, and so it was again, why am

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Speaker 5: I resisting this type of learning and thinking? And so

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Speaker 5: I've put all of it in a curriculum, but also

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Speaker 5: with the intent that people learn when to apply certain

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Speaker 5: practices and when to drop them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Well. Also, the thing too, is,

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Speaker 1: as you were alluding to some of your professors, you

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Speaker 1: probably also had other people who were talking about super crucial,

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Speaker 1: important relevant stuff in a really fucking, horribly boring way,

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Speaker 1: Like you can have the best content with the worst delivery,

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Speaker 1: and everyone in the room has switched off. And we've

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Speaker 1: had obviously I can't say who, but you know, over

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Speaker 1: six years, I've done probably i'm going to say seven interviews.

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Speaker 1: You definitely won't be one of them. But the people

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Speaker 1: that I interviewed were brilliant, and they'd done brilliant work,

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Speaker 1: a couple that everyone in everyone would know, like high

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Speaker 1: profile international guests, and they were mindlessly, painfully boring, and

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Speaker 1: I thought, I can't put that up. Nobody is going

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Speaker 1: to listen to that. It's not going to do that

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Speaker 1: guest a service or us. It's actually bad my brand.

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Speaker 1: And I was so disappointed because they were And then

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Speaker 1: other people you get on and you're like, oh, like

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Speaker 1: I've said to Tip or Melissa, who kind of works

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Speaker 1: with us, I don't know. I don't know about this guest.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, it's you know, because I've never and I

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Speaker 1: read about them and I'm like, ah, and they're fucking incredible,

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Speaker 1: Like they're you know, they really like they're when I

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Speaker 1: you know, the things that you look at, well, what

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Speaker 1: have they done and what have they done academically? Do

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Speaker 1: they have any credibility to talk about this stuff? And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's a bit skinny, it's a bit

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Speaker 1: light on and I don't know if this bloke or

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Speaker 1: this girl or the oh and then then they're twenty

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Speaker 1: six times better than me. I'm like, all right, shut

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Speaker 1: the fuck up, ups and just where you know where,

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm a fucking idiot. They're a genius.

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Speaker 1: And I was thinking, I hope they're good enough for

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Speaker 1: my show. You know, they're too good for your show,

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Speaker 1: you dick kid, you know, And there's that well think

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Speaker 1: about you know, like think about like at the moment,

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Speaker 1: I'm working with a couple of academics who want to

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Speaker 1: get in front of corporates right. So I've got a

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Speaker 1: lot of academic friends and non academic friends. And all

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Speaker 1: of my academic friends are PhD level and beyond, and

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Speaker 1: they're smarty pants, and not all of them, but the

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Speaker 1: ones I'm talking about, and I'm trying to help them

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Speaker 1: to get in front of a non academic audience and

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Speaker 1: build rapport and connection and trust and respect and be

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Speaker 1: a bit funny and tell some stories and share some

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Speaker 1: of their knowledge in a way that resonates with a

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Speaker 1: group of people who don't want a lecture, like even

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Speaker 1: to get them to understand what I'm talking about, you know,

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Speaker 1: because in their lane, they're brilliant. But you know, it's

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Speaker 1: like you take a runner and chuck him or her

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Speaker 1: in the pool and they're drowning. And these guys are

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Speaker 1: like brilliant runners, but they can't fucking swim. Well, dude,

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Speaker 1: you need to be able to do it all. You

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Speaker 1: need to be able to swim, run, ride, punch, climb,

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Speaker 1: skin you know as well.

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Speaker 5: And I think this is a huge piece that I

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Speaker 5: saw also within the education system. I would witness this

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Speaker 5: quite often, and I always thought, and I don't know

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Speaker 5: if you know that in high schools and most schools

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Speaker 5: throughout Australia at the moment. They do like streaming, so

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Speaker 5: they'll have, for example, like the top set and that's

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Speaker 5: what they'll call them, the top set kids, and then

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Speaker 5: the bottom kids, and they'll use this language, which to

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Speaker 5: me was quite heartbreaking to hear some kids call themselves

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Speaker 5: the dumb class, because you know what they what identity

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Speaker 5: does to it's on that later in life and I'd

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Speaker 5: be like, oh my god, no, please don't call yourself

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Speaker 5: the dumb class. But I remember having conversations and debates.

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Speaker 5: I was senior English, and so we had debates, and

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Speaker 5: I had one year the so called quote dumb class, right,

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Speaker 5: And I shit, you not these kids academically they didn't

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Speaker 5: they didn't do crash hot. But I have never met

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Speaker 5: a group of students who were so charismatic, so emotionally intelligent.

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Speaker 5: They knew how to build rapport with me. I enjoyed

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Speaker 5: hanging out with them more than.

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Speaker 2: The staff room. Most of the time.

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Speaker 5: They were hilarious, and we did debates and they'd get

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Speaker 5: really emphatic and they would really bring like so much charisma.

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Speaker 5: And I said to all of them, you know what,

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Speaker 5: when you leave this school, I need you to know

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Speaker 5: that you are one of the most intelligent sets of

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Speaker 5: kids I've ever met, and you are going far so

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Speaker 5: far because of that skill. And to me, I just

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Speaker 5: think this day and age, content is out there for everyone.

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Speaker 5: Information is over, There's so much information. AI can do

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Speaker 5: it for you. But if we don't teach people that

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Speaker 5: skill of building relations with other people, of building connection,

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Speaker 5: of storytelling, of knowing how to connect with people, They're

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Speaker 5: going to be in strife. And so I feel like

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Speaker 5: it needs to be a skill. You just mentioned, getting

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Speaker 5: people to understand the skill and the art of human

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Speaker 5: interaction and rapport. I feel like that needs to be

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Speaker 5: really spoken about.

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Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, I love that. I completely agree.

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Speaker 1: But I think also, Breanna, you know, in our culture,

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Speaker 1: for better or worse, we really have academic intelligence on

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Speaker 1: a pedestal. I'm not even I'm not I'm not intellectually

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Speaker 1: brilliant at all. I'm not academically brilliant at all. I'm

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Speaker 1: not brilliant at anything, let's be honest. But what I

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Speaker 1: mean is there are so many people who are, you know,

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Speaker 1: great communicators, amazing communicators. They can read nonverbal communication, they

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Speaker 1: can build a poor when academics, they can see shit

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Speaker 1: that other people can't. They're creative geniuses. They can make

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Speaker 1: shit with their hands. It's fucking mind blowing. My training

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Speaker 1: partner finished school at year ten. The guy lift weights

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Speaker 1: with every day and and you know, you could give

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Speaker 1: him seven fucking code hangars and some tape and a

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Speaker 1: pillow case, He'll build you a fucking house. Like, you know,

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Speaker 1: like he's just so smart. Like like intelligence is a spectrum.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's it's, it's it's a bunch of things.

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Speaker 1: But in our culture, we don't recognize or celebrate different

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Speaker 1: kinds of intellect and intelligence and gifts. And we you know,

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Speaker 1: down to the point where I understand it and I

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Speaker 1: get it, but I kind of hate it where we

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Speaker 1: rank people's intelligence with a number. We go, WA's your number,

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Speaker 1: and if you're this number, you're a genius. If you're

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Speaker 1: below this number, you're handicapped. Now, yeah, right now, And

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Speaker 1: look from a you know, from a psych point of view,

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Speaker 1: I understand it. But at the same time, it's one

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Speaker 1: of those things. You know, this is a weird Harrison,

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Speaker 1: But it reminds me of putting people on a stage.

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Speaker 1: And I come from a bodybuilding background, owning gyms all

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Speaker 1: that shit, you know, where we put people on a

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Speaker 1: stage and we literally rate them entirely on their appearance,

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Speaker 1: and we go you're first, your last, you're the worst.

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Speaker 1: What's that doing for people's self esteem?

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Speaker 5: You know?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's with adults.

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Speaker 5: That's with adults who have chosen to be there, and

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Speaker 5: they maybe have a little bit more of that understanding

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Speaker 5: and prep. Maybe they've got a mindset coach and all

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Speaker 5: of that. But when you're doing this with kids from

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Speaker 5: a young age and it's in the edge, what you

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Speaker 5: just said is so heavily perpetuated and inseminated through the

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Speaker 5: education system that there's this real fear of being wrong.

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Speaker 5: And obviously, like you said, there's a nuance. We need

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Speaker 5: to know where we are we tracking well, do we

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Speaker 5: have literacy and numeracy behind us? We need to know

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Speaker 5: those things for sure. But the weight and the leverage

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Speaker 5: that we have in our system and our society is just,

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Speaker 5: in my opinion, and not helpful at all.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about. So you work

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Speaker 1: with coaches, You train people to coach other people, and

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Speaker 1: you coach people, gift coaches people like coach people. We

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Speaker 1: all are in a similar space, like there are certain

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Speaker 1: people that can get all the quolls, as you know,

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Speaker 1: and tick all the boxes and meet the requirements, but

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Speaker 1: what about what about working with people who just don't

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Speaker 1: have it? You know, It's like I can go do

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Speaker 1: all the singing lessons, but well, tiff things I can

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Speaker 1: actually sing, but said, yeah, I would like to hear

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Speaker 1: this me No, no, but whatever, Right, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: like I'm never going to be I can do all

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Speaker 1: the training, but I'm never running one hundred meters in

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Speaker 1: ten seconds? Right? What about the people that come into

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Speaker 1: your courses where and of course there's always just room

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Speaker 1: for general improvement and all of that, but you like,

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Speaker 1: apart from the content, the knowledge, the meeting the requirements,

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Speaker 1: sticking the boxes and passing the course, for want of

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Speaker 1: a better term, where you're like, oh, fuck, this person

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Speaker 1: has a personality that's tough, Like how do you address that?

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Speaker 1: Because you can't really teach someone's self awareness.

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Speaker 5: I think this is where I've actually had this conversation

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Speaker 5: lots of times, because I've had people say to me,

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Speaker 5: I don't think I'm that person. All these people that

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Speaker 5: just have it, they're so charismatic, they're so confident. My

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Speaker 5: perspective on that is that charisma is a confidence thing,

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Speaker 5: and confidence and charisma is actually learned and it is

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Speaker 5: there are skills, whether people realize that they're conscious that

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Speaker 5: they're probably unconsciously doing that thing where they just know

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Speaker 5: how to build rapport, They know how to walk into

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Speaker 5: a room and have people listen, their personality is a

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Speaker 5: lot more personable. I would say there is a very

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Speaker 5: unique set of skills that most of those people have,

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Speaker 5: and I do think that a lot of it can

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Speaker 5: be taught, it can be improved, and there's lots of

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Speaker 5: prompts that we can give people to encourage self reflection.

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Speaker 5: But I would argue that those people, those people that

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Speaker 5: have got it, when we think about those people, they're

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Speaker 5: usually very confident within themselves because they've put reps in

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Speaker 5: in something, meaning they've probably got a lot of emotional resilience,

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Speaker 5: which again I have a gripe about what we're doing

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Speaker 5: at the moment in the system that is ruining resilience.

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Speaker 5: But a lot of people that have that factor they've

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Speaker 5: got confidence from reps. They've got the reps from having

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Speaker 5: courage and having the resilience to put themselves in the

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Speaker 5: ring again and again and again, and because.

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Speaker 2: They've got that inner confidence.

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Speaker 5: They show up with a different body language, they show

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Speaker 5: up with different I patterns, they show up with different

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Speaker 5: they just show up in a different energy. And that

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Speaker 5: is what we call charisma. Somebody who is really aligned

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Speaker 5: in the way that they speak, move, act talk. We

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Speaker 5: pay attention to those people, and I think that that

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Speaker 5: is something that we can teach others.

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Speaker 1: Tell us about You just said something about the system

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Speaker 1: kind of not destroying resilience or not kind of helping

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Speaker 1: people be resilient. Can you expand on that?

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Speaker 5: So I've heard of examples. I'm no longer in the system,

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Speaker 5: but I work with a lot of teachers and a

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Speaker 5: lot of different schools, and I hear of things where

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Speaker 5: we're taking, for example, in junior sports, taking away any

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Speaker 5: scores because everybody's a winner and taking away the medals,

433
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 5: or in the drama play, we're not having the leading

434
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 5: role anymore. Everybody gets a lead role. I just think,

435
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 5: can't we give kids in a safe environment the opportunity

436
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 5: to lose like a winner, Like, can't we give kids

437
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 5: the tools and the options to actually practice losing while

438
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 5: they're in a safe space. Well, we could also say

439
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 5: to practice life. Yeah, because Guess what when you're a

440
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 5: grown up, you're fucking losing.

441
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 1: Guess what. People are going to hate you for no reason.

442
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 1: Guess what bad shit's going to happen. Guess what. Life's

443
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 1: not fair. You know, it's I mean, this is yeah,

444
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 1: you're right, it's doing it the right way. But you know,

445
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,920
Speaker 1: life gives no fucks about your feelings. And even when

446
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: I you know, when I've worked with lots of athletes

447
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 1: and stuff, but I and even when I'm working with

448
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 1: people who might be let's say a little bit emotionally fragile.

449
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,200
Speaker 1: Of course they take that into account, whether they're athletes

450
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: or just you know, general public. But I say to people, look,

451
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: I'm more interested in your long term health, happiness, performance,

452
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: resilience outcomes than making you feel good for three minutes. Like,

453
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel bad, But my job

454
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 1: is not to make you feel good. That isn't my job.

455
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: My job is to coach you, mentor you, empower you,

456
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 1: equip you, upskill you. So you're a fucking weapon and

457
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: you don't need Brianna, Tiff or Craig. You're just a

458
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: fucking weapon, right, Yeah, Yeah.

459
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: And that's what I think.

460
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 5: That's the move at the moment, because there is and

461
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 5: it's a great thing again, there's nuance and gray areas.

462
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 5: It's such a good thing that we've got emotional and

463
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 5: mental health at the you know, we're bringing more attention

464
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 5: to it. But sometimes what we've done, and I saw

465
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,360
Speaker 5: this in the system, and I thought, oh my god,

466
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 5: we're actually going to make them more fragile in a

467
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 5: place and a society and a time where they're actually

468
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 5: they are very fragile because of social media and all

469
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 5: these things. And we're saying, take away all opportunities where

470
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 5: they might feel anxious, take away all opportunities for them

471
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 5: to fail, take away all scenarios for them to feel bad,

472
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 5: because these you know, fragile little snowflakes that shouldn't be

473
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 5: shouldn't have to be put through that. Parents who are

474
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 5: now saying if their child has.

475
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 2: Failed to test, well, what did the teacher do wrong?

476
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: What did the teacher do? What is the school doing wrong?

477
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 2: All of these things?

478
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 5: And I just think I think we've gone about it

479
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 5: a very interesting way.

480
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 1: Well, I think we're just perpetuating maladaptive behavior. And you know,

481
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: like we're perpetuating this kids who are coming out ill

482
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 1: equipped for I mean, yes, we've got to love them.

483
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 1: And you know, it's like it's okay to say to

484
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: your kid, you came last, but guess what, I love

485
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: you and you're amazing. Like it's you came last, but

486
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,880
Speaker 1: it's okay, I came last. You know. It's like, yeah,

487
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,880
Speaker 1: you know I was. You know, I literally came last

488
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: at school. I was a morbidly OBEs school kid, right,

489
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: and so I literally came last. But for me, and

490
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 1: that's not that it would be the same for everyone,

491
00:26:56,200 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 1: but I came last constantly, but it was like, for me,

492
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: it did build resilience, it did build understanding, It did, strangely,

493
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: over time, inspire me to not be the way that

494
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: I was because no one was going, oh they're there,

495
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 1: are you? Okay? Nobody? And you know it's okay because

496
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: the bottom line was Will Craig, someone's coming last, and

497
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 1: today it's you. That's okay. It won't always be you,

498
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: you know, and I think that that, you know, as

499
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 1: long as kids still feel love, safe, needed, valued, supported,

500
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: of course there's that. But yeah, well it's and so

501
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: did I read also that you did law? Did you

502
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,080
Speaker 1: do a law degree as well?

503
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, yep, what happened to that. Oh, I don't know

504
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 5: what I was thinking. To be honest, I started, like

505
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 5: I said, I think when you finish high school and

506
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 5: it's still the same, you're choosing based on your ego.

507
00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 5: You're choosing based on what the teacher said would be

508
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 5: the best also the best look for the school based

509
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 5: on your grades. And I actually really wanted to do

510
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 5: something that was a little bit more creative. I liked music,

511
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 5: I liked teaching, I liked psychology, and I remember a

512
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 5: few teachers being like, well that no, like that would

513
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 5: be a waste sort of thing. And so I did law,

514
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 5: and yeah, I found myself five years into a degree

515
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 5: that I didn't like.

516
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 2: And also, again.

517
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 5: I have to say, there was not a single professor

518
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 5: inside of that degree that inspired learning. And I was

519
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 5: starting to think, because as somebody who did love learning,

520
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 5: where are these professors getting their communication and teaching skills?

521
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 5: How do you become a professional and teach in a

522
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 5: tertiary way, in a way that puts four hundred people

523
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 5: to sleep. And so I wasn't being inspired, and I

524
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 5: was thinking there's something wrong here the education. This is

525
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 5: the highest point of education. Most people were watching basketball

526
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 5: games So I was born in the university degree, honestly,

527
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 5: drank my way through my law degree, and then finished

528
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 5: up with this degree where I'd done really well and

529
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 5: I actually didn't know stuff all about law. And then

530
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 5: I started thinking, wow, I have parroted back, done very

531
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 5: well academically, been uninspired the whole time, left none the

532
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 5: wiser had my first I remember my first day in

533
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 5: a law firm. I asked my partner, or I asked

534
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 5: the colleague which firm, Like, which court case do I

535
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 5: take this too? I didn't even know which jurisdiction to

536
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 5: go to, and I had just finished my law degree,

537
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 5: didn't know whether it was a federal case a state case.

538
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 5: Couldn't figure out that out for myself. But I had

539
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 5: gotten through and done very well and been uninspired the

540
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 5: whole time. So yeah, change there, But it did actually

541
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 5: really activate in me this. I want to be a

542
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 5: teacher who makes learning fun, and I want learning to

543
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 5: be the point. The point is learning and curiosity, and

544
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 5: I'm really grateful for that degree, to be honest, Yeah,

545
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 5: do you think I mean?

546
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: I don't know the answer to this. I have a

547
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,719
Speaker 1: suspicion I think there would be a lot of professors

548
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: who don't think it's their job to inspire people. I

549
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: think they just think it's their job just to share

550
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: the content of the course.

551
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 2: And is that not a huge problem?

552
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: Well, it is, it is. But I think they're like, well,

553
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: if you need me to inspire you, then you're in.

554
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not, I'm just playing the devil's advocate.

555
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: But I but I'm with you. And I lecture at

556
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: university when I finished my first degree, and I but more.

557
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 1: I mean, yes, I wanted to inspire them, but I

558
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 1: also I just wanted it to be fun, because I

559
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: fucking I don't want to stand up there and lecture

560
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 1: anatomy and physiology and biomechanics, and you know, it's like,

561
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: it's so, how do we how do we make this practical?

562
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: And how do I tell stories in this? And how

563
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 1: do we make it resonate? And honestly, it was fifty

564
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 1: percent for me and fifty percent for them because I

565
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: wanted to enjoy it as well. Yeah.

566
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if you're enjoying it, the students are too.

567
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 2: That's just the way it works. And I feel I

568
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 2: really feel.

569
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 5: For students and educators these days, because no one is

570
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 5: taught how to communicate. Nobody is taught rapport, nobody is

571
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,719
Speaker 5: thinking about these I don't think. I mean, I did

572
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 5: an education degree and I left again thinking wow, nothing

573
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 5: here actually taught me any skills that would help to

574
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 5: create engaging lessons.

575
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 2: It taught me how to teach to tests.

576
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 5: But yeah, I think I do think that the education

577
00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 5: system as a whole needs a bit of a shakeup.

578
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: I think that's true for many industries, Like you know

579
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: when people do so my first degree was exercise science.

580
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 1: People would come out of that and they would some

581
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: of them come to me because I owned gyms and

582
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 1: want to be a trainer or whatever, and they could

583
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: prescribe exercise to a level and they did understand that,

584
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 1: you know, anatomy and physiology, et cetera, to a level,

585
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: But they couldn't have a conversation with somebody. They couldn't

586
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: build connection, They couldn't they couldn't read the room like

587
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: they And you know that's not when you think about

588
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: most degrees, especially as a lawyer, Well fucking hell, you

589
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: think a huge part of being a good lawyer is

590
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: understanding people, is being able to build rapport and trust

591
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 1: and resolve conflict and solve problems and be present. And

592
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: yet there's probably no communications subject in your.

593
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 5: Course, right, No, nothing, And this is I think it's

594
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 5: a basic fundamental thing that needs to be taught in schools.

595
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 5: It needs to be taught in universities. I think communication

596
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 5: is everything, and communication requires emotional intelligence, and nowhere are

597
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 5: we taught emotional intelligence.

598
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 2: And so people are learning all this when.

599
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 5: They're thirty, forty, fifty, sixty and going oh shit, like

600
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 5: That's one of the most common pieces of reflections I

601
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 5: get from students in my cohorts. We're usually forty, thirty,

602
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 5: fifty whatever, and they're like, why did I not learn this?

603
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 5: This would have changed my relationship with my kids, This

604
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 5: would have changed my relationship with my boss, This would

605
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 5: have changed my relationship to myself. And communication is everything,

606
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 5: but it requires emotional intelligence.

607
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: What what I mean? We need to tread carefully here,

608
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: But what a guys? When we go girls and guys,

609
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: and we're generalizing, but ladies tend to at least display

610
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 1: more emotional intelligence, it seems, or be able to open

611
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: the door wider. Yes, I know I'm generalizing, and I'm

612
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: a guy, and I tend to be quite touchy feely

613
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 1: in an emotional way, not a physical way. That sounded creepy.

614
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: Can help all the.

615
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 2: Disclaimers for this bit.

616
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think that's just a cultural thing that

617
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: women are more open and more comfortable to talk about

618
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: all that stuff, or is that biological or something else.

619
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 5: I think it's a little bit of option A and B.

620
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 5: I think it's both. But I also think it's very

621
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 5: much the context of the cultural context creates a huge change.

622
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 5: And you know, if you think back to like my

623
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 5: dad's generation, it was it's a generational thing. We don't

624
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 5: talk about our feelings. There's been a cultural I would say,

625
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:27,040
Speaker 5: like a paradigm shift in some ways. I still believe

626
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 5: that women and again careful with these uses of pronouns

627
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 5: things these days, but I do. I would say women

628
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 5: generally are encouraged from a young age to talk a

629
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 5: lot more about their feelings. However, I've taught lots of

630
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 5: teenage boys, lots of teenage boys, and honestly.

631
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 2: They want to talk, they want to get.

632
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 5: Deeper, They actually crave it, and they have blown my

633
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 5: mind so often that it's our projections we need to watch.

634
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 5: I find when they're given the space and when they're

635
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 5: told that it's accepted, it's you.

636
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 2: Know, welcomed. They thrive, they really do.

637
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,839
Speaker 5: And you know, again with these it depends on your

638
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 5: the context that you bring into that classroom. But if

639
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 5: you go in thinking that these boys can't wait to

640
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 5: talk about deep stuff, they really do.

641
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: Let's talk about you. So, what what's got you excited

642
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 1: at the moment, Like what are you researching? What are

643
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 1: you studying? What do you think you need to get

644
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 1: or what do you want to dive deeper into? Like

645
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm always researching something I don't know enough about, but

646
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 1: I want to know more about what's got your attention

647
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,360
Speaker 1: at the moment.

648
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 5: At the moment, it's ifs, so internal family systems. I

649
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 5: was spending a lot of time researching Carl Jung and

650
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,399
Speaker 5: shadow work, and I love, love, love love like looking

651
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 5: into egos and projections and all of that, and I

652
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 5: think that goes hand in hands. From the research that

653
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 5: I've done, it tends to go hand in hand with IFS,

654
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 5: and I've I've found that very fastating.

655
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 1: Give us, give us a snapshot. So people are like,

656
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: tell me more, give us a snapshot.

657
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 5: Well, so I'm in the beginning phases of being a

658
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 5: student for this but it seems to me that it's

659
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 5: acknowledging that within all of us there's multiple parts, like

660
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 5: these personas or personalities, and those personalities are all playing

661
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,720
Speaker 5: a role, and they'll be to protect us from feeling

662
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 5: a certain way. And we have we have roles and

663
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 5: parts within us that are almost competing for different intentions

664
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 5: and purposes. And oftentimes we think that we are that

665
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 5: where the you know, obsessive compulsive person And it's like, well,

666
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 5: if you just change the language or the frame that

667
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 5: there is a part of me inside that's obsessive compulsive

668
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 5: for a particular purpose, we can start to bring wholeness

669
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 5: back to ourselves.

670
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 2: Is that that's what I'm sensing in my research.

671
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you in a minute, TIF so

672
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: get ready. So what's had my attention the last month?

673
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 1: I get on a new thing every month, but I'm

674
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 1: doing a deep dive into the relationship between our thoughts

675
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: and our body. So obviously a thought has a physiological consequence.

676
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: But the way that we can think ourselves into sickness

677
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: and so fucking fascinating. Like I could unpack that with you,

678
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:30,840
Speaker 1: I won't, But just the consequences of rumination overthinking self loathing,

679
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 1: that whole kind of obsessing about shit. We can't change.

680
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: Investing energy in the thing that happened five years ago,

681
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: you know, ruminating about the problems that might happen in

682
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 1: the future. It does such damage to our body, like

683
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: in a literal way, not a metaphoric way, you know,

684
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: cellular health, cortisole production, nervous system. Oh it's so interesting.

685
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 1: So I'm down that rabbit hole. In two weeks, I'll

686
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: probably take a left turn and be into pottery and ceramics.

687
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:05,879
Speaker 1: But this week, that's fucking now. And once I get

688
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 1: on something, I'm like this. I learn something, and then

689
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: I learn a little bit. Then I open another door,

690
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 1: then I open all the doors, and then I want

691
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: to tell everyone because if I tell everyone, then I

692
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 1: remember it better, So I selfishly want to share it.

693
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 5: Yeah that's the phrase, isn't it. Those who can't do

694
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 5: teach as in teach so you can do. Yeah, well

695
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 5: that's that's me. I'm tiff. What are you into?

696
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: Like, what's got your attention in terms of learning?

697
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 3: At the moment, I feel like I've been on it

698
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,240
Speaker 3: for a while, But it's that it's that idea about

699
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,360
Speaker 3: beliefs like what do we what do we choose to believe?

700
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 4: And when I choose to believe that, how does my

701
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 4: life play out?

702
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: Right?

703
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 4: But the answers because we.

704
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 3: You and I both talk to people and learn, we

705
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 3: learn science, we learn proven data everyone's and there's science

706
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: to prove every side of an argument. So then it's

707
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 3: understanding the choice of where do I where do I

708
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 3: already sit with this? Why do I sit there? Should

709
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 3: I shift it? And if I choose to shift it,

710
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 3: what does that mean for my life?

711
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 4: Hmm?

712
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 1: Yeah? And also where does where does my identity start

713
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: and finish in relation to that belief? And yeah, if

714
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: they're intertwined, then you attack my belief, you attack my

715
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 1: identity and fuck you?

716
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 4: Yeah? And why do I make the choices I make?

717
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 4: And is there underlying reasons?

718
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 5: You know?

719
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 4: Like I am a reason making factory.

720
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 3: I call myself a justification factory, and I have to

721
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 3: catch myself out all the time because justifications can let

722
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 3: me be whoever I already am without question. I'll just

723
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 3: justify it and go, well, there's this really good reason

724
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 3: and I can feel comfortable in that. But is it

725
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 3: a mechanism?

726
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 1: Is it?

727
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 4: Are you escaping? Are you deflecting.

728
00:39:59,080 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 3: What is the thing?

729
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 4: Are they really a dickhead? Or are you the dickhead?

730
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 4: I'm usually the dickhead.

731
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: Mah well, I think the biggest fairy tale we tell

732
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: ourselves is that we're open minded. Yeah, well, no you're not.

733
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 1: You're not. I'm not. And I teach this shit, you know,

734
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 1: I teach it. Am I am? I a clean slate? Fuck?

735
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 1: I wish, but I've got preexisting beliefs and ideas and

736
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 1: values and bias and prejudice and experiences. I understand objectivity,

737
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: but I'm not it.

738
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 5: You know.

739
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,919
Speaker 1: The best I can hope for is to be more

740
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: open minded than I currently am. You know, agree? Yeah?

741
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 5: I think the best I feel like you know how

742
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 5: you said, how do we teach people to be open minded?

743
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 5: I feel like what I would say to everyone is

744
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 5: to be like constantly playing Devil's Advocate to yourself. And

745
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 5: the more I do that, the more I'm like, wow,

746
00:40:56,200 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 5: I'm not open mind to be steadfast improving yourself wrong?

747
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yep? And I think you know when you are,

748
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: like when you are that person that you are, you know,

749
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 1: you're up the front and your torch it talking and teaching.

750
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: But you're also like, by the way, here's a list

751
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: of the things I've fucked up, and get comfortable. You know.

752
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, okay, so you're kind of like me, yeah, yeah, yeah.

753
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,919
Speaker 1: And you know I've said a thousand times on this show.

754
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: If I waited until I had all my shit together

755
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 1: before I did a podcast or a presentation or a coaching,

756
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 1: I'd never do it. I'd be sitting at home in

757
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: the fetal position, watching like a Netflix because I fucked

758
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 1: I will get five things wrong this podcast, and that's okay.

759
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: You know. So a couple of questions for you. You're great,

760
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: by the way, we appreciate you. What do you need

761
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: to get better at? What do you need to get

762
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: better at.

763
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 5: The first thing that actually came up was running, because

764
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 5: I'm trying to do that at the moment. It's discipline

765
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 5: with running, it's actually discipline I'm really practicing.

766
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 2: I've got this like.

767
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 5: Rebellion against structure at the moment. I think because I

768
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 5: spent so long being so disciplined, so structured, and you know,

769
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 5: be here at this time and this time and that time,

770
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 5: that I've created this false dichotomy that freedom is the

771
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 5: opposite of structure. So I'm pulling back in on my

772
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 5: discipline again.

773
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 1: That's good. That's good that you're questioning that. If what's

774
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 1: one thing you need to get better.

775
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 3: At all of the things. No, I don't think so

776
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 3: I think structure, But I also don't do well with structure.

777
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 3: But I still feel like there's a lot of gaps

778
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 3: I leave in my own progress in a lot of

779
00:42:54,800 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 3: areas in life because I thrive on spontaneity and going

780
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 3: with the flow and being you know, intuitive, yeah, intuitive,

781
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 3: thank you. Yeah.

782
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 4: So I think that's a battle.

783
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and new harps. I've got to

784
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: get better at doing the things that I don't want

785
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: to do but I need to do. Like if I've

786
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:27,600
Speaker 1: got to read, like your PhD, I've got to like

787
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: my PhD. Like if I've got to read an academic paper,

788
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: I'll find eighty fucking reasons not to read that paper,

789
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,000
Speaker 1: and I will convince myself that all eighty of those

790
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: things must be done first, even if that's watching motorbike

791
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 1: reviews on YouTube, Like I can rationalize fucking anything, you know. So,

792
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: if everything goes great for you for the next five

793
00:43:56,239 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 1: years personally professionally, everything goes great, happening in five years.

794
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 2: I would love to be a mother.

795
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 5: That's been an ongoing, bloody, spiritual, physical, emotional journey. So

796
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 5: in the next five years, I'll be a mum and

797
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 5: my school will have its own HQ. I'd really love

798
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 5: to buy a commercial property and have a space for

799
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 5: schools and coaches and teachers and students to come to.

800
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 5: Also while I have my little toddlers on my hip.

801
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 5: Hopefully that's right, you just have.

802
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: Your offspring just strapped to your body, like yeah, fucking yeah.

803
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: What before we go, what makes you coach? Coaches? What

804
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: makes a good coach? I know that's that's not a

805
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 1: one minute answer, but give us a snapshot. What makes

806
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 1: somebody a good coach? What's maybe in the top three

807
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 1: things that we would want?

808
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 5: Emotional intelligence, communication skills, and a growth mindset, I would say,

809
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 5: are like a real growth mindset because you're in the

810
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 5: it is the industry of growth.

811
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: It's it's you know, it's an it's an interesting industry

812
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: because you know, I tell you what. Now, obviously I

813
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 1: had no opinion of this is full disclosure. I had

814
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 1: no opinion about you because I didn't really know much, right, So,

815
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 1: but you and I and Tiff. We all inhabit a

816
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 1: landscape which is very, very busy, hectic and full of

817
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:31,920
Speaker 1: chest beating people who they have the one true philosophy

818
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 1: ideology program, pill powder, potion, fucking path. I tell you

819
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 1: what I loved about you. I jumped on your instant

820
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: and I even rang Tiff, didn't I Tiff?

821
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:45,840
Speaker 4: He did true story and.

822
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 1: I said, I said, teeth, I went, what's going on

823
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: with this? Bitches? Teeth fuck? And hell no, I didn't

824
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: do that at all. I did not do that at all.

825
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: Don't send me an email. Everyone, Brianna's okay with it?

826
00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 1: I think no, I went, I went, Brown has done

827
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:04,440
Speaker 1: this really well, like look at a website, look at it,

828
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 1: you know, not that and both of us could learn

829
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 1: from you. And I was thinking, Wow, the way that

830
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 1: you put all that together. And what I also loved,

831
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: which was genuine. It was pr and it was marketing,

832
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 1: but it was also genuine, which makes it valid. Your

833
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 1: students just pumping up your tires one after another after

834
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 1: another after another, And I thought, you know what, you

835
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 1: can't make people do that. That's real, you know, And

836
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 1: so whatever you're doing, you're doing something great. So congratulations,

837
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 1: and you know you seem to have raving fans, which is,

838
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: you know, in the space that you operate, that's a

839
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:44,879
Speaker 1: good thing, not a bad thing.

840
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 5: So yeah, so well done, you thank you so much.

841
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 5: That really means the world. I find it hard, honestly.

842
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 5: Sometimes I have my own process with that space that

843
00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 5: we're in and that growth space, and I always, again

844
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 5: playing Devil's advocate for myself. I want to make sure

845
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 5: that we're doing good things and that I'm not full.

846
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 5: You know, it's a very interesting space, this personal development

847
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 5: and coaching space, and there's a lot of shady shit.

848
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 5: There's a lot of shady shit and Charlatan's and you

849
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 5: do this and it's like a really it can be

850
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 5: a gross industry. And I sort of say to my

851
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,399
Speaker 5: clients my goal is to be redundant. I don't want

852
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,840
Speaker 5: to be I don't want to be the missing piece.

853
00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 5: I don't want to be I'm just a teacher and

854
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:33,319
Speaker 5: I'm learning and I'm fucking up and yeah, so that's

855
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:34,280
Speaker 5: kind of my message.

856
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 2: But it is a very interesting industry.

857
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, since we all three of us have a similar philosophy,

858
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 1: all right, now, plug away tell people where to go,

859
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 1: how to get involved, where they can find you, follow you,

860
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,760
Speaker 1: connect with you if you'd be so kind.

861
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,319
Speaker 5: Probably Instagram, I think is the place. So I am

862
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 5: Breanna May on Instagram. And the mind School Method is

863
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 5: the place, the place where I get to teach all

864
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 5: this fun stuff. And yeah, the website, I sort of

865
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 5: use it, I kind of don't. It's really Instagram. And

866
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 5: the mind School Method is currently open. We're going to

867
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 5: Queensland next and that's very exciting. First time we're going

868
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 5: over east, and then another one in Perth in October.

869
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 5: So all things mindset, emotional intelligence, shadow work, all the

870
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 5: tools so that you can then learn what tools to

871
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:22,439
Speaker 5: use and when to fuck them right off.

872
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 1: Oh I love that a woman after on my own

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00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: vocabulary will say goodbye. Fairbue Browner TIV, thank you so much.

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00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:34,959
Speaker 1: Enjoyed meeting you and continued success, my friend.

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00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 2: Thank you so much,