Speaker 1: Yallo Yello yello. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, It's Melon. Want
Speaker 1: Hello everybody Hello, Hello Hello. Maldy Meldy. That's what I
Speaker 1: used to call my producer from three pm pickup beautiful mal.
Speaker 1: We used to call her Maldi because she loved Aldi
Speaker 1: so changed, right, Yeah, obsessed with Aldi, Like she would
Speaker 1: strategically go like have her dad and a friend. They
Speaker 1: do different. Aldis for the specials dedication.
Speaker 2: It's so hitt and miss, isn't it. Because some things
Speaker 2: you've bought from Aldie are great. Others yeah, so shit,
Speaker 2: anything that was a waste of money.
Speaker 1: Totally. I wish I had the organization and desire and
Speaker 1: capacity to do my initial shop at Aldi and then
Speaker 1: do the rest at the supermarket. Like I totally admire
Speaker 1: people who do that. I couldn't think of anything worse. Same, same,
Speaker 1: And also because I don't go to Aldi. When I go,
Speaker 1: I feel really foreign there, like I don't know how
Speaker 1: to do it. If you you know, and think different
Speaker 1: brands and it rattles me.
Speaker 2: That's the thing. It takes so much longer. You're not
Speaker 2: familiar with where things are and the chaos. We've spoken
Speaker 2: about this before, the chaos of the checkout is just
Speaker 2: too much stress.
Speaker 1: It's too mucheep. You got to just throw it in
Speaker 1: the bag yourself.
Speaker 3: Tu much, it's busy.
Speaker 1: Oh talk about stress. The little things just stress me out.
Speaker 1: Like even the thought of that stresses me out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's horrible. Well, well you know what you need.
Speaker 2: This is the first thing I want to talk about today.
Speaker 2: I saw this post on my Instagram that Sally Obermeda
Speaker 2: who you actually interviewed on the couch for Show and
Speaker 2: Tell years ago.
Speaker 1: Yes, she lovely, lovely, she's a breast cancer survivor. Yes,
Speaker 1: she had this thing on her instagram. This idea of
Speaker 1: this dopamine menu. I'll play a little grab.
Speaker 4: In order to get that dopamine hit. I'm going to
Speaker 4: build a dopamine menu. Let me talk you through what
Speaker 4: this is. So number one is an entree, So this
Speaker 4: is like a quick boost of dopamine. So it could
Speaker 4: be for example, playing with the dog or listen to like,
Speaker 4: you know music. Then you move on to what's called
Speaker 4: like the main course. This is something where you have
Speaker 4: to allocate sometimes, so going to the beach for example,
Speaker 4: or infra red sauna, so something like that where it's
Speaker 4: going to make you feel good, or maybe it's like
Speaker 4: reading a book.
Speaker 2: So, especially if you are someone who suffers from depression
Speaker 2: or ADHD or something where your dopamine isn't always as
Speaker 2: high as you like it to be. Just this thought
Speaker 2: of writing down things that you can do to because
Speaker 2: I guess one of the ways that we do try
Speaker 2: and get dopamine is, as she said, this doom scrolling
Speaker 2: stuff or just that mindless scrolling on social media.
Speaker 1: Which I hate it so much because I find I
Speaker 1: get angry at people if they haven't even updated. Do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Why is there not enough
Speaker 1: good content here for me? Like I get frustrated with
Speaker 1: the whole. I get annoyed at myself. I get so
Speaker 1: annoyed at myself. How often I have the phone in
Speaker 1: my hand.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate it.
Speaker 2: It's very hard habit to break as well, because there
Speaker 2: are I will say, there are also good things about it,
Speaker 2: like how many times I laugh on Instagram. I see
Speaker 2: stuff I find so funny and I'm like, well, that
Speaker 2: in itself is a dopamine here, I think, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2: But it's also if you're chaotic, Like if I think
Speaker 2: of how many saved I save, I reckon I would
Speaker 2: save about one hundred things a day. Oh that's good,
Speaker 2: that's good. I have to remember that. And then I
Speaker 2: just never go back and look at them. I reckon,
Speaker 2: I reckon, I'd have thousands of saved.
Speaker 1: Wow, I don't have a save. I never. I don't
Speaker 1: even think I know how to save them, don't you know. Never.
Speaker 1: I screenshot things if I want to chat to you
Speaker 1: about it, and then I'll go back and find it
Speaker 1: save them.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, well yeah, but just this, just this idea
Speaker 2: I think is really good of sort of productive ways
Speaker 2: to get your little dopamine hicks. And as she said,
Speaker 2: you know, there's varying degrees. One might be a massage
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 1: Which is not possible to do all the time. Well, no,
Speaker 1: and so what are yours and what's your entree? I
Speaker 1: guess stuff like listening to a podcast that I keep
Speaker 1: pulling off and going, I'll listen to that later. I'll
Speaker 1: listen to that later.
Speaker 2: Just little things. And that's another thing that's probably toxic
Speaker 2: is buying.
Speaker 1: Oh bye, the buying, because it's such a bing, it's
Speaker 1: such a dopamine here and at the moment, I'm not
Speaker 1: bringing in any cash and I'm spending and I'm just
Speaker 1: seeing my bank account dwindle down because I bought another
Speaker 1: shirt which I definitely don't need. That just gave me
Speaker 1: that dopamine here, I feel like it's extra it is.
Speaker 1: It's hands down extra challenging if you've got ADHD, because
Speaker 1: your brain just craves dopamine more than the average Joe.
Speaker 1: And I look at my kids and I'm like, they're
Speaker 1: so addicted to those YouTube shorts because it's just like
Speaker 1: bang bang bang, and so then nothing can give them
Speaker 1: that dopamine hit like those like it's their crack. But
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 2: I find that really worrying as well. Like my daughter's sixteen,
Speaker 2: and I notice things that I know that I go
Speaker 2: too far into things, but like she'll say to me, Oh,
Speaker 2: did you hear Monty Diamond got breast implants?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: She'll say that, and I'll go, oh did she? And
Speaker 2: I'll ask her a question about it. She never goes
Speaker 2: beyond the headline yes, And I'm like, you have to
Speaker 2: read that, that could be clickbait. It's like they just
Speaker 2: don't have any attention at all, any know, to look
Speaker 2: into the facts of things, or they just accept everything
Speaker 2: and it's always quick. Everything's got to be quick.
Speaker 1: Quick, quick, quick, But it's terrifying them not knowing what
Speaker 1: to do out like outside of that for the dopamine hit,
Speaker 1: but I also find it challenging too. I just really
Speaker 1: like even the simple things like lighting a candle does
Speaker 1: give me a snippet of a dopamine hit, but very minor.
Speaker 2: Well, even if it is minor, I think that's the point,
Speaker 2: because there is the trap you can get into. If
Speaker 2: I look at myself. I used to be a smoker, right,
Speaker 2: that was a dopamine hit. Oh had eating There's very
Speaker 2: toxic ways that it can come out drinking too much alcohol.
Speaker 2: There's so like even if you become then obsessive with exercise,
Speaker 2: exercise is good for you, but when you're obsessive about it,
Speaker 2: it's not good.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I wish that I was more obsessive with exercise though,
Speaker 1: But things like a clean kitchen give me a dopamine hit.
Speaker 1: When I look at my house and it's clean after
Speaker 1: I've vacuumed the floor, that gives me a dopamine hit.
Speaker 1: Mine's quite cleaning related because it's a control thing that
Speaker 1: gives me it, you know.
Speaker 2: And it makes you probably feel clearer in your mind,
Speaker 2: whole space is clearer.
Speaker 1: I cannot function in a messy space like I hate it.
Speaker 1: It's such it clutters my brain so much when there's
Speaker 1: so much Like our house is so minimalist. I said
Speaker 1: to Sam this, our house is like too minimalist. It's
Speaker 1: it's quite boring. Where I need to get more plant,
Speaker 1: I need to get more around. But the more stuff
Speaker 1: we have, the more cluttered my brain gets.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even even plants are punished because they get.
Speaker 1: Dusty, they get dusty, and also watering them, like I
Speaker 1: kill so many plants, but I love plants. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to have something living in every room, but
Speaker 1: I can't even be bothered going and doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's another thing on your to do list, But
Speaker 2: I think it's more even the idea of taking time
Speaker 2: out for yourself that we rarely do anymore, to do
Speaker 2: something that's not just looking at your phone like this
Speaker 2: is a stupid example, but even just like beating bracelets.
Speaker 1: Yea's something that is mindfulness. That's why I when I
Speaker 1: love painting, but what turns me off doing that is
Speaker 1: setting it all up up and then packing it all up.
Speaker 1: And there's always like if ODI's around. He's like, I
Speaker 1: want to go on. I'm like no, like, no, this
Speaker 1: is my thing. But I do love doing it and
Speaker 1: it puts me and if I put music on and paint,
Speaker 1: I'm probably one of the happiest. I like in the
Speaker 1: happiest state that I can be in. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: do it enough.
Speaker 2: Isn't it so funny that that is? Oh, this brings
Speaker 2: me to another thing that we can talk about. I
Speaker 2: was listening to we talked about this not long ago,
Speaker 2: the Diary of a CEO podcast, and he was interviewing
Speaker 2: doctor Martha Beck, who is like Oprah's life coach.
Speaker 1: Wow, right, imagine being Oprah's life coach.
Speaker 3: No pressure, Oh, no pressure, because.
Speaker 1: She just outsmart you all the time. That's why Sam
Speaker 1: my partner does he can't click with the psychologist because
Speaker 1: he's done so much work and grew up kind of
Speaker 1: facilitating and facilitates a lot of people. Now he knows
Speaker 1: the start's a psychologist. Yeah, so it's like he's just
Speaker 1: he would never say that, but I'm like, that's why
Speaker 1: you don't want to do it.
Speaker 2: I think it's when you're very self aware. If I
Speaker 2: go to a psychologist, which I've sort of given up
Speaker 2: on because I sit there and I'm like, when you
Speaker 2: say something and then they stop talking and there's silence,
Speaker 2: and then you need to feel the silence. I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's a strategy to keep me talking and see where
Speaker 2: it goes. Like it's like I'm always thinking they're out
Speaker 2: to trick me.
Speaker 1: Ah, which they're not. They're there to help you.
Speaker 2: Of course, but like you know, and they go, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: but you're doing such a great job or whatever, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not here for that. I don't want
Speaker 2: you to tell me that. Yeah, I want you to
Speaker 2: help me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just how do we be a bit normal? Can
Speaker 1: you just fix this as you bind your main like
Speaker 1: I just sometimes might I just want to would love
Speaker 1: to take a tablet that just completely rewride my brain.
Speaker 2: Oh amazing, imagine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah, So this doctor Martha Beck was saying to
Speaker 2: this guy who was interviewing her, how the trick to
Speaker 2: overcoming anxiety is to engage the right side of your brain,
Speaker 2: which is your creative brain.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So she does this exercise with him where they're talking.
Speaker 2: She asks him a scenario that makes him feel a
Speaker 2: bit anxious, and he was telling her, oh, maybe when
Speaker 2: I get home and I can see my girlfriend is
Speaker 2: annoyed about something. I ask her what's wrong. She doesn't
Speaker 2: tell me, and then I start ruminating on what's wrong
Speaker 2: with her or whatever. So he goes through how what
Speaker 2: makes him feel anxious? And then she says to him, Okay,
Speaker 2: I want to do this exercise with you. Close your eyes,
Speaker 2: and she starts talking him through. Imagine you've got an
Speaker 2: orange in your hand. You can smell the orange, you
Speaker 2: can feel the peel under your fingers. Like she's very
Speaker 2: descriptive in what she says. And then she says to him,
Speaker 2: how's your anxiety now? And he goes like, I didn't
Speaker 2: even think about it because he was so engaged in
Speaker 2: the sensory stuff around the orange.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I think what she's saying is to shift
Speaker 2: gears to start that, she said, because when that creative
Speaker 2: side is fine and you're engaged in something, you can't
Speaker 2: be anxious while you're doing it. So if you are
Speaker 2: someone who loves painting, for example, I see it with
Speaker 2: my son when he's drawing. It's almost like I don't know,
Speaker 2: like I know people call it hyper focus, but I
Speaker 2: don't even think this is what it is, it's just
Speaker 2: you're so mindfulness.
Speaker 1: It's not exactly what it is, but.
Speaker 3: It's almost like you're not thinking.
Speaker 1: Yes, your thoughts have stopped because you're just concentrating on
Speaker 1: what's in front of you. So yeah, it totally stops
Speaker 1: your thinking, which is so great. Another little trick that
Speaker 1: helps me sometimes because it's always about your breathing too.
Speaker 1: When you're feeling anxious, it's like, take deep breaths. And
Speaker 1: so it's the five rule where you name five things
Speaker 1: you can see, Name four things that you can hear,
Speaker 1: Name three things that you can touch and smell and tap,
Speaker 1: and then you go, you know, to smell one taste.
Speaker 1: It's actually quite good because if you do it slowly,
Speaker 1: it takes a little bit of time and so it
Speaker 1: just slows down that anxiety a little bit. Yes, there's
Speaker 1: so many little tricks like that, but it's so hard
Speaker 1: to do it when you're in the thick of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because if you've got a very talkative brain, it's
Speaker 2: almost like you feel like there's a devil in an
Speaker 2: angel there and like you're trying to say, okay, I'll
Speaker 2: concentrate on the five things, and it's almost like then
Speaker 2: there's a voice going, Nah, how are you concentrating on
Speaker 2: that something very bad's gonna happen?
Speaker 1: Shut up? Oh my god, that's funny. I don't have that.
Speaker 1: I don't have the very bad, but I have that.
Speaker 1: You can't be bothered doing this? This is bullshit, Like,
Speaker 1: just why stop? Yeah, God, we're our own worst enemies.
Speaker 1: We're so we're so basic yet so complicated.
Speaker 2: Imagine you could harness those negative feelings that you have
Speaker 2: into good feelings or whatever, just into.
Speaker 1: Proactive feelings, you know what I mean, Like it's just
Speaker 1: the Yeah, if you could twist them into them being
Speaker 1: more positive. Some people are wide like that. You and
Speaker 1: I are, hands down not wired like that.
Speaker 2: This is why we are a great combo because we
Speaker 2: understand each other, but also a potentially very bad combo
Speaker 2: because I think we could feed off each other definitely.
Speaker 1: Oh, hands down and we do.
Speaker 3: How bad's life?
Speaker 1: Fuck?
Speaker 3: This is shit?
Speaker 1: Yeah, changing years. I just want to get up a
Speaker 1: message that one of you legends wrote to us. It
Speaker 1: was Madison. Hey, Madison, thank you for sending messages. Love
Speaker 1: love love. Hearing from you guys like that gives me
Speaker 1: dopamine hits. So Show and Tell online is where you
Speaker 1: can find us on Instagram, but we talk a lot
Speaker 1: about perimenopause here. I'm currently on estrogen. I've got the
Speaker 1: Marina and I'm taking testosterone as well. Start. I started
Speaker 1: it a while ago. I'm not I'm still feeling extremely irritable,
Speaker 1: and I did start. I wanted to go on it
Speaker 1: for my migraines. But I do think the other stuff
Speaker 1: I've been doing for my migraines is possibly helping more
Speaker 1: than this. But I'm too scared to stop anything because
Speaker 1: I'm having a good run. Yeah, but you've noticed quite
Speaker 1: a difference, haven't you. Well, I haven't started testosterone yet.
Speaker 1: I've actually got an appointment with her on Friday tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I'm seeing my hormone specialist, and she had mentioned to
Speaker 1: me my testosterone was quite low, which felt a bit
Speaker 1: confusing because and when I say this sometimes I know
Speaker 1: I sound like hyper sexual. I'm not, but that part
Speaker 1: of my life is still very active, right. But that
Speaker 1: is one of the One of the symptoms of low
Speaker 1: testosterone is low libido, which I don't have. But there's
Speaker 1: many other things like low mood, and there's also for
Speaker 1: people that do have ADHD, there's an additional complication there
Speaker 1: with there's things that you struggle with, emotional regulation, all
Speaker 1: that sort of stuff, and is testosterone meant help with that?
Speaker 3: Well, it's meant to.
Speaker 2: So she said, next time we'll start start you're on
Speaker 2: a little bit of testosterone because I'm not on estrogen anymore,
Speaker 2: because I aw because I think, well, the way she
Speaker 2: explained it to me, we first started on Does anyone
Speaker 2: care about this?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: Okay, we started on estrogen. And then when I saw
Speaker 2: her like a month later or whatever, they did my
Speaker 2: bloods and my estrogen was too high, and she said
Speaker 2: to me, stop the estrogen, and you like and because
Speaker 2: I wasn't having physical symptoms for me, it's all in
Speaker 2: my head, right, So she's like, one of the first
Speaker 2: things to start fucking up is your progesterone. So when
Speaker 2: they talk about estrogen dominance or whatever, it's just that
Speaker 2: your progesterone is too low, right, So I am on progesterone.
Speaker 2: But she said, we're going to add in the testosterone
Speaker 2: and see and then once the physical stuff starts happening,
Speaker 2: then we'll add the estrogen back in.
Speaker 3: But she said a lot of.
Speaker 2: The time at the start of perimenopause, it's the mind stuff.
Speaker 1: Right, which is why people can get confused. Yeah, okay, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I don't have many of the physical symptoms, very menopause,
Speaker 1: but my yeah, my brain fog for example, and my irritability,
Speaker 1: my capacity to yet have any I don't know, just everything.
Speaker 1: I just feel like, oh my god, I just need
Speaker 1: to be in a room by myself because everything and
Speaker 1: everyone irritates me. But that's why I'm like, maybe it's
Speaker 1: that hormones not working for me because I don't feel
Speaker 1: any different in my mental state.
Speaker 2: They you should be getting sort of semi regular blood tests,
Speaker 2: right for them to check your levels. So if if
Speaker 2: you get your next one and they see, oh, your
Speaker 2: estrogen is high, well then there's probably no use in
Speaker 2: you taking the estrogen if it's too high. You know,
Speaker 2: also like, could it just be my personality? You know
Speaker 2: what I think is confusing as well. Our stage of
Speaker 2: life that we're in, especially for you. You've got a teenager,
Speaker 2: You've got Odie who's very small. You've got three kids,
Speaker 2: all with different needs, different personalities. We're all in the
Speaker 2: same boat, right, Like we're parenting kids that like and
Speaker 2: there's so much pressure on us now get it right.
Speaker 2: Don't fuck them up, don't give them white bread, don't
Speaker 2: let them look at their phone. Don't It's like, I
Speaker 2: think a lot of it is also pressure, and it's
Speaker 2: hard to know the difference between is this something with
Speaker 2: my hormones? Is this just life actually does feel really
Speaker 2: hard right now when I'm having trouble coping.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, totally, And it is. It's so hard to know,
Speaker 1: isn't it, Because so many people are like, you shouldn't
Speaker 1: have to feel like that. So that's why I think, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe it is perimenopause, because I just feel burr. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling a huge amount of joy, and I'm
Speaker 1: so irritable at my kids and I'm just like, fuck,
Speaker 1: you're being very average at parenting. And then it gives
Speaker 1: me the guilty you know what I mean, Like I'll
Speaker 1: be I get so short at them the smallest thing
Speaker 1: like make your bed, and if they don't make their bed,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't have to keep asking you to
Speaker 1: do things like that's my tone with them all the time.
Speaker 1: So it's exhausting. But I find it hard to let
Speaker 1: things go because I'm like, I have to teach you
Speaker 1: as well that you've got to have some responsibility, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, like, just make your fucking bed.
Speaker 1: But they're not making their bed or something so simple
Speaker 1: drives me insane.
Speaker 3: But do you know what?
Speaker 2: That also then goes back to the social media stuff
Speaker 2: because you see stuff about you know, like videos come
Speaker 2: up and say, oh, kids that do chores are more
Speaker 2: successful later in life, and you're jumping ahead and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, you do, I do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they can't get this, then fuck, what's gonna happen
Speaker 2: when they're twenty.
Speaker 3: You're not going to know how to make a bed
Speaker 3: or your spiral with it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, where all it is is a bed not made.
Speaker 1: But you do me, you do make it? Mean, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm fucking them. They're lazy. They're not going to do
Speaker 1: anything like I totally do that. I'm like, no, I
Speaker 1: need to instill everything in you now so then you're
Speaker 1: a good adult. But in the process of doing that,
Speaker 1: I'm ruining my relationship with them because it's not it's
Speaker 1: not balanced because I don't like have a huge amount
Speaker 1: of energy because I've got chronic fatigue. My time is
Speaker 1: spent just telling them off.
Speaker 3: Which is shit.
Speaker 2: And that's why you feel shit because totally you think
Speaker 2: I said to my kids the other day in the car,
Speaker 2: I started ranting about something and then one thing I
Speaker 2: will say that I'm good at is I will apologize, right.
Speaker 2: So yeah, afterwards, I took a breath and I said,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm just stressed out and whatever. And I
Speaker 2: said to them, you know, the thing that upsets me
Speaker 2: the most is that if tomorrow something bad happened to
Speaker 2: me and they said, oh, what are your memories of
Speaker 2: your mum, you'd probably say she was always yelling and
Speaker 2: she said, fuck a lot.
Speaker 3: That's what they would like.
Speaker 1: I know. I I think that too. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: a bit unlikable to you guys. Yeah, like why would
Speaker 1: they want to hang out with me? You know? Anyway
Speaker 1: you need to, apparently to have connection with your kids.
Speaker 1: Literally eight eight minutes a.
Speaker 2: Day, I mean, I know, And what a low bar
Speaker 2: that is.
Speaker 1: It's such a low bar. And so like this morning,
Speaker 1: I played Snap with Odie and I was like, there
Speaker 1: we go. That's that was eight minutes. But I'm conscious
Speaker 1: of the clock. I'm like, I want to sit here
Speaker 1: and play another round Snap.
Speaker 2: I know. And the thing is, too, it's like I
Speaker 2: feel like they're needy because they're saying, oh, Mom, can
Speaker 2: we do this? And I'm like, no, I don't have
Speaker 2: time for that or whatever. And I'm like, all they
Speaker 2: want is to spend time with me. I'm gonna want
Speaker 2: that soon because they're not gonna want it anymore.
Speaker 3: But also every.
Speaker 2: Time I say to them, I've got too much work
Speaker 2: to do, I'm saying to them, that's more important than you.
Speaker 1: You I know.
Speaker 2: Fuck.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so And we're so far from alone most
Speaker 1: people because life is busy, you know, and a part
Speaker 1: of me, yeah, it does go if I just if
Speaker 1: I do that, I'm gonna get behind with dinner and
Speaker 1: this and that, and then the night gets out of
Speaker 1: control and that makes me feel out of control. None
Speaker 1: of it fucking matters. But it's so easy for us
Speaker 1: to sit and talk about that, but then it's really
Speaker 1: it is hard to put it into action and break habits.
Speaker 1: And like Sam is like, you need to get something
Speaker 1: in common with them, because Sam has music and books
Speaker 1: with Baxter, and they just riff off each other with that.
Speaker 1: They'll listen to, you know, in the car music together
Speaker 1: and they really connect over it. But Sam's also invested
Speaker 1: in that, you know what I mean. Like he's made
Speaker 1: an effort to and he'll drive two hours to take
Speaker 1: backs to a concert where I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: never like music is not my thing. But he's a
Speaker 1: thirteen year old boy. But it's like, you've got to
Speaker 1: find something that they're interested in and really double down
Speaker 1: on connecting with them over that.
Speaker 3: Well, this is Sam's unlocked.
Speaker 2: The whole fucking secret to it is that if it's
Speaker 2: common ground, it's like they know when the ViBe's off,
Speaker 2: when you're like going, oh okay, let's play trucks and
Speaker 2: you're sitting there like going bebef and they.
Speaker 3: Can see fucking miserable.
Speaker 2: But if it's you love painting, they can see you're
Speaker 2: enjoying it. So it is and it's not a punish
Speaker 2: for you, but they feel that your energy is good.
Speaker 1: I think that. But I do think it's more us
Speaker 1: meeting them at what they're interested in and than me
Speaker 1: going look, i'm happy, come and have a paint with me,
Speaker 1: when they've got zero interest in painting. Anyway, So back
Speaker 1: to this, Yeah, the perimenopause stuff. Yeah, Madison wrote, OMG,
Speaker 1: did you know you lose your labia during menopause? I
Speaker 1: think it's called Lynchon sclerosis. It's all over TikTok at
Speaker 1: the moment and all right back, no way. I do
Speaker 1: not believe this, And then I looked it up. Menopause
Speaker 1: triggers changes to more than just the vagina. It can
Speaker 1: also all to the look of the vulva. We see
Speaker 1: an actual thinning and flattening out of the LaBier manora.
Speaker 1: Over time. Someone then completely lose their labia manora.
Speaker 2: So what is it just nothing in there, like just
Speaker 2: no flat. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't even picture what it would be like. Is
Speaker 1: the labia minora the flaps, the inner ones, the inner ones. Okay, yes,
Speaker 1: so it flattens out in there.
Speaker 2: But I would say that this is where if you
Speaker 2: even if you don't want to do HRT vaginal estrogen,
Speaker 2: which you know can be a cream or whatever, and
Speaker 2: you're getting to that point where maybe you're getting a
Speaker 2: lot of uties because the tissue gets thinner there. Maybe
Speaker 2: you've stopped lubricating and you're dry, like there is so
Speaker 2: much horrible shit that happens down there, like you know,
Speaker 2: like a deep dive into all this shit, and like
Speaker 2: all the specialists are like you have to look at it,
Speaker 2: like skin care. You put more moisturizer on your face
Speaker 2: because you want to take care of your skin. Say,
Speaker 2: it's the same thing with the skin down there. You
Speaker 2: can prevent this stuff from happening.
Speaker 1: Can you? And can you? Really? Yeah?
Speaker 3: You can? You can.
Speaker 2: And it also doesn't get absorbed systemically, so it's not
Speaker 2: like if you don't want to take hormones, if you
Speaker 2: put you know, like I don't know, vaginal estrogen in
Speaker 2: there or whatever, it's not going into your bloodstream like HRTs.
Speaker 2: It's just localized in that area. So it's is localized. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: so it's just keeping all the tissue there for want
Speaker 2: of a bitter word, plump and you know, like new
Speaker 2: to stop those things from happening.
Speaker 1: So menora, look at my plump. Moot, that's that word
Speaker 1: moot is I love the word moot?
Speaker 2: I hate it? You know what I think of? Moot
Speaker 2: sounds dirty to me. It sounds like a smelly, unwashed,
Speaker 2: dirty feet, dirty fanny. Did you my mum used to
Speaker 2: say that or someone I used to say that? Yeah,
Speaker 2: dirty feet, dirty fanny. You hate that word, even though
Speaker 2: do you prefer mot or fanny? I don't like. I
Speaker 2: don't like either of them. But that F word is
Speaker 2: my I can't I actually can't say it.
Speaker 1: Say it once.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not, I'm not. I hate it, I do know,
Speaker 2: I just I hate it. My sister's the same.
Speaker 1: What do you call it pussy? No, I don't call
Speaker 1: it pussy, just vagina.
Speaker 2: I love that your mom called it pussy because again,
Speaker 2: to me, that's sexual.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course it's sexual, but not when you're a kid,
Speaker 1: like she didn't mean it as sexual, like if yeah,
Speaker 1: I've gotta saw pussy. That's so fucking cruel. I told
Speaker 1: you when I did drive radio, we called her and
Speaker 1: made her say it on national radio.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Oh that's hilarious.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I want to jump to you know how we
Speaker 1: were talking about your kids would if you died tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Remember you was yelling or saying fuck all the time.
Speaker 1: I love it when kids learn that word fuck. You know,
Speaker 1: when your kid, yeah, is young, and it's just so
Speaker 1: much joy for the whole family at the moment, because
Speaker 1: Odie is going through a stage where this is a
Speaker 1: new word for him, and just seeing it fly out
Speaker 1: of a little kid's mouth is so awesome. So we're
Speaker 1: in the car the other day and he's in the
Speaker 1: back of the seat, in the back seat, and he
Speaker 1: just starts with this, and so I got out my phone,
Speaker 1: of course and recorded it.
Speaker 3: Of course, fuck.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, it's not just fuck, it's fucking hell, fucking
Speaker 1: hell AlOH, say fucking hell.
Speaker 2: It's the absolute like the polarity of the completely innocent
Speaker 2: baby voice.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's funny.
Speaker 3: It's so good though.
Speaker 1: The boys don't laugh, but we all look at each
Speaker 1: other and like our eyes go wide and we have
Speaker 1: to turn around. But I'm like, do I say fucking hell?
Speaker 1: Mine is more for fuck's sake? When I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: he hasn't. He hasn't ripped out that yet, but fucking now,
Speaker 1: fucking out. The other day he goes, fucking now, I'm hungry,
Speaker 1: and I was like the word, like starting to put
Speaker 1: it in sentences.
Speaker 2: But also like, I mean, okay, there'll come a point
Speaker 2: where you'll say to him, Okay, well that's not nice
Speaker 2: to say or whatever, and he'll he'll learn that you
Speaker 2: can't say it right. But for now, who hasn't laughed
Speaker 2: at their kids when they're oh, I know.
Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite things of them growing up
Speaker 1: is going oh, like here comes as swearing.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's cute as enjoy it.
Speaker 1: It's so cute.
Speaker 3: Enjoy it.
Speaker 1: The other day though, so Arlo's got these gob stoppers.
Speaker 1: He went and bought gob stoppers. So he's starting to
Speaker 1: do more jobs around the house because backs. How the
Speaker 1: other week I said, backs, my thirteen year old has
Speaker 1: got a little job, so he's starting to make money.
Speaker 1: And now alas like, well, I want to make money anyway,
Speaker 1: so I'm giving him extra jobs of folding dishwasher blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. And he got a what are they called?
Speaker 1: Do your kids have those cards? Spriggy cards. It's like
Speaker 1: a kid's visa basically, but they can see that, you know,
Speaker 1: keep track of their money and stuff like that. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I've got one coming in the post. And so the
Speaker 1: other day he went used his money though and got gobstoppers.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, mate, you're not I'm not giving you
Speaker 1: money if you're going to go off to the shop
Speaker 1: and buy treats, which I know is so awesome as
Speaker 1: a kid, but this kid all he eats is like
Speaker 1: Natella sandwiches and lollies. So I'm like, no, your money
Speaker 1: is not for buying treats. So we put these gobstoppers away.
Speaker 1: And the other day he sees the gobstoppers and Sam
Speaker 1: and my sister are in the room and he's like, ah,
Speaker 1: there's my gobbies. I just kept saying Gobby And he's like, Dad,
Speaker 1: are you taking my gobbies? Dad? Are you eating my gobbies?
Speaker 1: And we laughed. He's like, what's why, God, what does
Speaker 1: goby mean? We're like, nah, we're not laughing at that.
Speaker 1: We laughing. Dad said something or I don't know, but
Speaker 1: the way he was wording it, I want Gobby's Dad,
Speaker 1: I want you to give me gobbies. It was so
Speaker 1: fucking awesome. I loved it.
Speaker 3: That is so funny. Don't you think you're still childish
Speaker 3: like that in that way?
Speaker 2: Like my God, yes, even just like a stupid word,
Speaker 2: like sometimes if I have to go to a mass
Speaker 2: or something, there seems to be the word come is
Speaker 2: in mass a lot and someone will get up and
Speaker 2: do a reading and they're like, and he said come coh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a very religious thing. Think of his come
Speaker 1: on your tits? Remember that? Why was that ever? Like
Speaker 1: come on your tits?
Speaker 3: What do you mean? Like people would say it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's so aggressive. The word come is so aggressive? But
Speaker 1: how often are you going to mass?
Speaker 3: Oh? Like, my kids go to Catholic school, so if.
Speaker 1: They sometimes mind you too. And I've been twice and
Speaker 1: I wanted to I stabbed myself in the eye. And
Speaker 1: I'm like the poor kids who have to sit on
Speaker 1: the carpet there. My little boy who can't sit still
Speaker 1: for two minutes is sitting through like a forty minute mass.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is like so outdated, an archaic. You
Speaker 1: have a captive potential, captive audience there. Why are we
Speaker 1: not modernizing this.
Speaker 2: Because they think that's how it should be. Like, It's
Speaker 2: just this is how it is. It's so boring. I
Speaker 2: had a funeral the other day. Can I test his funeral,
Speaker 2: Mark's uncle, the priest. It was like his fifth service,
Speaker 2: his fifth funeral or something. He the way that he
Speaker 2: was saying, firstly the name, but the way that he
Speaker 2: was talking triggered something in me. I went into a
Speaker 2: laughing Oh no, listen, I'm like three rows from the front.
Speaker 1: Shit.
Speaker 2: I was laughing so hard that I was crying, which
Speaker 2: was probably perfect blessing. And the I my head down
Speaker 2: and my shoulders were going up and down like I
Speaker 2: was crying, and I reckon people going wuck, she's getting
Speaker 2: here fucking emotional to him, Jess. They must have been
Speaker 2: so close it was I could not stop laughing. It's
Speaker 2: like those laughs at very inappropriate.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, man, there's nothing better and nothing worse,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean the feeling because it's so
Speaker 1: naughty and uncontrollable that it feels exhilarating. But you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I cannot this cannot be really obvious
Speaker 1: or I'm fucked. It's like in school when you would
Speaker 1: get the giggles or yeah, if somebody says something like
Speaker 1: my friend told me his dog died, and I just
Speaker 1: fucking laughed and laughed, and it was I get bad news.
Speaker 1: Laughed so badly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it's a I think it's a nervous
Speaker 2: respect to that news laugh because you don't know how
Speaker 2: to react. But yeah, it's yeah, it was very inappropriate.
Speaker 2: And then my son sitting next to me, and he
Speaker 2: sort of starts laughing, and then my daughter, who is
Speaker 2: the mother of all of us including me, is like,
Speaker 2: she's looking.
Speaker 3: Stop it, stop it so good.
Speaker 1: All right, We're out of here. Everyone, Thanks for listening.
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Speaker 1: Bipe and out, love yous