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Speaker 1: Gary Waltern, Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: Thank you good great to be here. We tried last time,

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Speaker 2: but we made it.

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Speaker 1: This is what.

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Speaker 3: This is the second crack at the podcast because there

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Speaker 3: was just ridiculous technical issues the last time.

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Speaker 1: And we don't have technical fairies either of us.

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Speaker 2: Right, No, no technical fairies. In fact, I'm the technical gremlin.

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Speaker 2: So that's just not.

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Speaker 1: Far behind you, to be honest.

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Speaker 3: Now you have written a book called Mastering the Art

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Speaker 3: of Reinvention, right, which I think is pretty relevant these

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Speaker 3: days because the researcher saying, we're.

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Speaker 1: All going to have more jobs than we used to.

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Speaker 3: No longer to get a job when you're eighteen and

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Speaker 3: stay with them for your entire life like my dad

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Speaker 3: did actually with the post office for his entire life.

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Speaker 3: And they reckon, we're going to be having two three

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Speaker 3: plus careers.

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Speaker 1: You've had forty four jobs in your it's now I've

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Speaker 1: had a few. Jesus me at forty four and on.

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Speaker 2: There is that ADHD or what probably actually, now that

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Speaker 2: we've got sort of the four letters around it, it

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Speaker 2: could very well be that's what it is. But the

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Speaker 2: forty four jobs came about, I actually don't know how

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Speaker 2: they came about other than I've got almost like Bao

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Speaker 2: bird syndrome. So Bao bird syndrome is that shiny.

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Speaker 1: Thing that you're going to.

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Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I'm over there looking at it.

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Speaker 1: That's pretty cool. And then I've got so this is interesting.

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Speaker 3: And there is a gene around the dopamine receptor, right,

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Speaker 3: and a certain variant of the dopamine receptor means that

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Speaker 3: people are much more likely to love novelty and change.

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Speaker 3: And I have that variant of the gene, and I'm

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Speaker 3: going to beat my host business and children that you

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Speaker 3: have got that variant of the gene, And it means

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Speaker 3: we're novelty secrets and we like new, shining new, and it's.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, what's this over here? What's that over there?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we can't help but run towards what's different. It's

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Speaker 2: just part of I think of who we are and

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Speaker 2: you know, going with that approach if you think of

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Speaker 2: the Bell curve and yeah, exactly. And we have this

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Speaker 2: problem of the people that aren't as accepting and able

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Speaker 2: to change. How do we help them or how do

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Speaker 2: they find their path to get over there? When things

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Speaker 2: need need to change, because like life comes with all

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Speaker 2: these changes, some personal, some career, some AI but overall

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Speaker 2: there's a whole lot of changes. And so if you

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Speaker 2: don't have that gene, it's good to know that I

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Speaker 2: possibly have it. But if you don't have that, then

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Speaker 2: you're left thinking what am I doing? Where do I

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Speaker 2: go from?

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Speaker 3: We will dive in beg into strategies around that. I

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Speaker 3: think it is more important today because even if people

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Speaker 3: think about the change in technology, right, which has been

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Speaker 3: massive in the last five years, like huge, what they're predicting,

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Speaker 3: the futurists is that the creative technological change that we

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Speaker 3: have experienced in the last five years is the slowest

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Speaker 3: rate of change that we're going to witness in our life, right.

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Speaker 3: So change is absolutely here to stay. This is an

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Speaker 3: increasingly voca world. It's a term that come out of

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Speaker 3: the military volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. And I think

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Speaker 3: you're plays into this, But I want to come back

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Speaker 3: to the forty four different jobs.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So was there big? What jobs give you the

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Speaker 1: biggest learning lessons?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So I'll give you the interesting ones and I'll

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Speaker 2: dig in some deeper ones. So I've been a school teacher.

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Speaker 2: Was my first real time, real full time gig. Before

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Speaker 2: that was a milkman and did all of the sort

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Speaker 2: of after school jobs, holiday jobs. But from there went

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Speaker 2: into being a topless waiter, which yeah, I know, mate,

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Speaker 2: I know, I get that look a lot where people

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Speaker 2: are going walker, but yeah, I was there. I didn't

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Speaker 2: have the dance moves. So when Jamie Drury and man

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Speaker 2: Power were created, I was in the nightclub and they went,

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Speaker 2: you can't dance, but you could probably take your shirt off,

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Speaker 2: so the top and so that was my gig there,

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Speaker 2: probably about six months after the break of school holidays,

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Speaker 2: and then into Australia. I got yeah, so I got

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Speaker 2: to I don't know whether you knew you.

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Speaker 3: Knew of Peter Australia back then, I still call Australia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So he sang that and he rocked up and you know,

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Speaker 2: I got to serve Peter Allen while being topless, and

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Speaker 2: he was offering to help me out by f being

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Speaker 2: part of my life for me, which was lovely. I

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Speaker 2: didn't take him up on it.

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Speaker 3: Then it was an offer interesting and the school teacher,

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Speaker 3: how long did you last as a school.

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Speaker 2: It's probably about two and a half years. And the

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Speaker 2: reason why firstly, as an eighty well I came out

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Speaker 2: at twenty and as a male, still maturing a lot

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Speaker 2: during that time. And you're teaching kids who are eighteen

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Speaker 2: or nineteen, and you're trying to figure out who you

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Speaker 2: are while trying to hold a discipline over them and

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Speaker 2: try and sort of go, Okay, how do I take

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Speaker 2: you on this journey? And Mum and Dad are school teacher,

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Speaker 2: so they led me down the path of Hey, school

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Speaker 2: teaching is great. You get lots of school holidays, so

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Speaker 2: go explore it. I got in it, and I went well,

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Speaker 2: first of all, I suffer from the not enoughs, so

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Speaker 2: you know, not smart enough, not good enough, not attractive

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Speaker 2: enough all or they not. And being up in front

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Speaker 2: of thirty people was a really anxious situation for me.

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Speaker 2: But I also had a passion for business and exploring

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Speaker 2: other things, and so that's where my I was teaching.

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Speaker 2: But I was always looking out the window, looking at

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Speaker 2: the whole business world and the corporate world, going what

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Speaker 2: could I do out there? And that's sort of what

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Speaker 2: took me out the door eventually, and then from there

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Speaker 2: got into we had a fashion business with my ex wife,

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Speaker 2: got into some consulting and consulted through Aviation, Health Education Finance,

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Speaker 2: set up a bank for famous people with Brand Hackett

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Speaker 2: and Tim Horan, the rugby union player.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: That was pretty much a really interesting gig, that one,

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Speaker 2: because you've got to understand that when you're talking banking,

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Speaker 2: the banking between a famous person and you and I

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Speaker 2: is basically the same. The difference comes in in how

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Speaker 2: they're treated. I walk into the restaurant with the famous

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Speaker 2: person and all of a sudden the table appears. If

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Speaker 2: I walk in by myself, they've shut the door on

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Speaker 2: me and gone, hey, come back in about a year's time.

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Speaker 2: So that was fascinating when over got to sort of

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Speaker 2: see all the talent agents and things like that, and

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Speaker 2: then flexed again into running over registered training organization. And

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Speaker 2: you can see that as I unpack this, there's commonalities

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Speaker 2: and links between past experiences. So you know, being a

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Speaker 2: teacher meant that I now could do training and consulting,

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Speaker 2: and then I had the ability to think of strategy

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Speaker 2: through the next stages of that. And so when you're

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Speaker 2: starting to pitch and talk about ideas and concepts and

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Speaker 2: trying to get people to get on board that journey

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Speaker 2: of change, all of that is about using the skills

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Speaker 2: of being able to present think about how people learn

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Speaker 2: and adapt and evolve, and then sort of go okay,

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Speaker 2: well I can help you through some of this, or

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Speaker 2: I can't because you're not ready to see the opportunities ahead.

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Speaker 2: And then coming to the realization that you sometimes just

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Speaker 2: have to accept that some people don't want to change,

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Speaker 2: and that's okay.

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Speaker 3: What was the register organization? What did you and the

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Speaker 3: only divisional maskings? Are you still in the register train

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Speaker 3: organization as well? We taught so three and four in fitness.

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Speaker 2: Yeah cool. We did serve three and four in business

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Speaker 2: and it was called First Choice. I did legal studies

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Speaker 2: business were the two ones in that one?

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Speaker 1: Interesting?

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Speaker 3: And tell me this, So when did you realize along

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Speaker 3: this journey of forty four jobs that reinventing was your thing.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that. And I had this conversation that's fascinating.

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Speaker 2: If I go off mark a bit, bring it back.

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Speaker 2: I had this conversation two weeks ago. I had this

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Speaker 2: conversation with somebody. Two weeks ago. There was a guy

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Speaker 2: that works in marketing, and he's got his own business

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Speaker 2: in marketing, and he was telling me that his business

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Speaker 2: is not going to be there in three years time,

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Speaker 2: and so he was working and planning for that and

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Speaker 2: I was talking about the book and I said, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know reinvention. He said, reinvention. Gary. I don't wake

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Speaker 2: up in the morning and think, oh, reinvention. I said, no,

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Speaker 2: you don't. But what you do do is you wake

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Speaker 2: up in the morning and you think about opportunities, and

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Speaker 2: you see about the things that you need to move towards.

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Speaker 2: And the process is reinvention, not the end. Going Wow,

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Speaker 2: that's a lie bulb moment for me to be able

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Speaker 2: to break it down so that people know that reinvention

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Speaker 2: is that sort of process that you can use that

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Speaker 2: gives you a framework to ensure you're moving forward knowing

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Speaker 2: that you're getting somewhere versus being stuck in the past.

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Speaker 2: And stuck is one of those words that means you know,

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Speaker 2: life is not going anywhere.

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Speaker 1: Just don't do it if you like it. I like

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Speaker 1: process for me. I talk a lot about this process s.

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Speaker 3: Beach goals every day of the week, right and focusing

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Speaker 3: on the process. Was there a big moment, a big

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Speaker 3: learning lesson in any of your forty four jobs that

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Speaker 3: you have taken with you to this point.

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Speaker 2: As you can imagine, the biggest lessons are from the

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Speaker 2: hardest geeks or jobs. So where I've had people that

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Speaker 2: I've reported through to, and quite often i've by the

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Speaker 2: reason I say reported through to is because I will

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Speaker 2: have worked for them, but I'm not a full time employee,

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Speaker 2: So as a contract or, a consultant, and the ones

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Speaker 2: that will find holes in absolutely everything that you're doing,

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Speaker 2: you will still continue because we're competitive. We'll be going, Okay,

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Speaker 2: how do I work this?

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Speaker 1: How do I.

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Speaker 2: Get the right outcome that is going to tick the

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Speaker 2: box for you but still maintain the goal of what

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Speaker 2: we need to achieve. And so getting that balance. I

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Speaker 2: hated it during the time because you're going, I don't

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Speaker 2: feel like I've can find my way through this wall.

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Speaker 2: But when you get to the end of it, you go,

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Speaker 2: you know what, that was a really good growing experience

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Speaker 2: for me because I wouldn't have got there easy.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, those growth experiences, they are the ones that we

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Speaker 3: keep with us, right, that we continue to learn from.

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Speaker 1: And So, has there been.

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Speaker 3: A kind of a personal or professional upheaval in your

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Speaker 3: life that actually tested this philosophy of yours, this reinvention

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Speaker 3: where you're thinking, oh, Macanell, I really need to focus

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Speaker 3: here and walk the talk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And it was when I separated from my wife, divorced,

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Speaker 2: and then got into a new relationship. That period of

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Speaker 2: going between those two was really confronting. And my new wife, Ezra,

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Speaker 2: she was very much about holding me to account of

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Speaker 2: the things that I got away with in the past

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Speaker 2: and we're not acceptable now. And so that evolution of Okay,

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Speaker 2: who am I and what do I want to do?

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Speaker 2: Because one of the things I'm a big believer in

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Speaker 2: I call it my superhuman or superman syndrome, is I

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Speaker 2: try to save people. I try to save situations. I

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Speaker 2: try to help I love. That is something that I

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Speaker 2: get a big intrinsic reward out of. But to go

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Speaker 2: and have an affair as an example, you are hurting

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Speaker 2: multiple people in that sort of situation. In our brains

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Speaker 2: at the time, we might be you know what, that's okay,

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Speaker 2: it's yeah, it's just this. And Bob I call my

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Speaker 2: mind part of me Bob as in boss of Brain,

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Speaker 2: and Bob's sitting up there going, yeah, that's okay, surely

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Speaker 2: it's okay, Like there's no harm in us. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: So that reasoning part becomes part of that thought process

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Speaker 2: that Bob uses to justify actions or things that you want.

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Speaker 2: Because Bob's like an over protective parent sitting up there

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Speaker 2: going Okay, how can I help you and protect you?

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Speaker 2: And so protecting you may be lying to you, not

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Speaker 2: telling you the hard truths, all of those things that

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Speaker 2: our brains are really good at, or our minds, sorry,

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Speaker 2: not our brains, two separate things, which I totally agree.

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Speaker 2: But Bob has this knack of telling us bullshit. And

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Speaker 2: you know, he doesn't want us to suffer physiologically, psychologically, emotionally,

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Speaker 2: and to do to protect us, he'll just bullshit. So

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Speaker 2: when it comes to something like the affairs, then I was,

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Speaker 2: you know, held to account on those, and I think

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Speaker 2: that there was the point that I went, you can't

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Speaker 2: be the person that you've always been. You need to

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Speaker 2: move past what you were getting out under first understand

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Speaker 2: what is it that you were getting out of those

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Speaker 2: situations that enabled you, that fed some part of your ego,

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Speaker 2: because that's really what it was. I mean, if you

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Speaker 2: think about an affair, it's kind of sex with another person,

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Speaker 2: but equally you could almost have sex by yourself. So

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Speaker 2: what is the other part of that feeding that you're

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Speaker 2: getting in that in that sort.

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Speaker 3: Of time, how long how long in thesation did that light.

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Speaker 1: Bulb go off?

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Speaker 2: It wasn't a quick one. It needed to have pain,

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Speaker 2: It needed spotlights put on it. It needed me to

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Speaker 2: go to some pretty deep dark spots to go, Okay,

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Speaker 2: what do I need to do with me? Because reinvention

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Speaker 2: is not an easy path, like it takes huge amount

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Speaker 2: of energy, So why would you do it unless.

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Speaker 1: You have a great to do it.

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Speaker 3: It's something that is really important for people to understand

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Speaker 3: is that we have behaviors and habits and behavioral processes

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Speaker 3: that have been with us for a long period of time.

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Speaker 3: And sometimes those behaved and those thought patterns served us

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Speaker 3: well and then often are not serving us well. Not

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Speaker 3: but they're really hard to break because they're just so

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Speaker 3: wired into your behavior and they become automatic. And I

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Speaker 3: think understanding that our brains are just so bombarded with

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Speaker 3: so much bits of information that if we were to

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Speaker 3: slow down and process at all, we wouldn't get anything done.

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Speaker 3: So we have to have these heuristics and shortcuts and

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Speaker 3: and and thinking styles and behaviors that are running on autopilot.

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Speaker 3: In order to navigate the world, but often we end

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Speaker 3: up just with repetition, with deeply burned in behaviors that

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Speaker 3: may sometimes have served us well in the past but

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Speaker 3: just aren't serving us well now. And they're really frigging

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Speaker 3: hard to break. And people actually go, why am I

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Speaker 3: still doing this shit?

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Speaker 1: Right? But it's hard to break it?

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Speaker 2: Eh, yeah, totally. So I'll talk about my coc addiction

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Speaker 2: like I'm a real mix but the good part is right,

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Speaker 2: so okay, totally. Yeah, we've all got it. And you

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Speaker 2: know the facade that people put up and try to

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Speaker 2: be pretend that everything's perfect, and.

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Speaker 3: I eventually you see that, especially on social media, where

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Speaker 3: people have this facade on social media, it may be

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Speaker 3: a relationship that looks like it's blessed and that you know,

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Speaker 3: they're putting up a post in the next week they're

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Speaker 3: freaking divorced, right, Oh, people who look like they have

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Speaker 3: everything and then you find out they just fell apart, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that authenticity that's lacking in those For me. You know,

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Speaker 2: my wife and I will regularly talk about this because

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Speaker 2: you're a look at a photo and say, hey, look

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Speaker 2: at these guys. They're having the best time, And I went.

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Speaker 2: They are today, they're having a great time, and I

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Speaker 2: hope that continues for them. But really that's just a

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Speaker 2: moment in time, and shit happens. Life happens, you know.

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Speaker 2: It could be that you get bored with me or

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Speaker 2: whatever those things are that mean a relationship gets challenged.

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Speaker 2: Then the facade that we see in social or digital

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Speaker 2: media is really just that, And the problem is we

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Speaker 2: get caught.

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Speaker 3: Up in comparison language comparison where you're comparing yourself to

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Speaker 3: people who seem later their life's the whole heat better

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Speaker 3: than yours, and it then brings you down. But sorry,

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Speaker 3: I kind of hijack the conversation a little bit about

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Speaker 3: the contection.

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Speaker 1: So let's let's not just bring this back to the

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Speaker 1: co co addiction. Let's explore that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel it's not going to be as big

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Speaker 2: now as I painted it out toime because it was

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Speaker 2: Coca Cola, who line and sinker, But it's true, even

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Speaker 2: though it's Coca Cola, I was.

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Speaker 1: A day though. That's probably worse for you than Colkie

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Speaker 1: every nine.

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Speaker 2: And then right totally when you think about the research

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Speaker 2: now on sugar and how addictive it is and how

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Speaker 2: bad it is overall longevity.

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Speaker 1: Five to six liters a day. Holy quite a mouley.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I went from you know, I probably

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Speaker 2: started that I'd say sixteen, and then it just kept going.

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Speaker 2: And then there was points there that I would go,

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Speaker 2: you know what, I'm going to try and break that

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Speaker 2: habit or see what the cycle is, and in my head,

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Speaker 2: I'm going, well, surely it's okay. And so exactly what

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Speaker 2: you were saying before, where you start to justify behaviors,

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Speaker 2: That's what my brain was doing in the coke space,

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Speaker 2: going Okay, surely you know it's great to have It's

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Speaker 2: okay to have that. And it was only that when

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Speaker 2: I started to really think about, okay, what is it

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Speaker 2: that I need to do for myself, that I was

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Speaker 2: able to break that habit. I'm still an addict. I

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Speaker 2: am still literally a coke addict. I can walk past

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Speaker 2: the fridge and if I see I'm a six hundred

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Speaker 2: millis sort of a guy in the bottles. I can

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Speaker 2: tell you whether the fridge is at about two degrees

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Speaker 2: by the amount of condensation in the coke bottle, and

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Speaker 2: my little brain starts going, Bob starts going, you know

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Speaker 2: you want it go on just well, what's it going

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Speaker 2: to hurt? Just one go on, just do it. It's

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Speaker 2: not going to hurt anything. And that's the part of

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Speaker 2: the addiction where you're starting to get into the trigger

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Speaker 2: of addiction and whether you start to get into you know, yes,

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Speaker 2: I'm craving it, But what do I do then? Can

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Speaker 2: I put a different routine in there? So going back

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Speaker 2: to the affairs, what was I getting out of an affair? Yes,

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Speaker 2: there was sex, but there was something else that you know,

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Speaker 2: let's go way back, and I talked about.

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Speaker 1: Them not enough. You're getting validition and.

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Speaker 2: Maybe correct totally. And I can see I'm hurting over there,

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Speaker 2: hurting people that I really care about. I'm hurting people

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Speaker 2: that I'm connecting with who are trusting me in that

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Speaker 2: sort of situation, but I'm still hurting them. And you know,

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Speaker 2: as you said, values are a really critical thing for you.

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Speaker 2: And that was against my venues, but a behavior that

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Speaker 2: I kept doing.

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Speaker 3: And you know, whether it's a furze Co connection, ultra

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Speaker 3: process food, alcohol, drugs. I think lots of people, if

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Speaker 3: they're being honest, have have behaviors that they really don't

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Speaker 3: want to do, but they they can't help doing them.

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Speaker 1: And they do them more when they're stressed.

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Speaker 3: Right, And that that's the thing, because when you're if

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Speaker 3: you've had a stressful day, your will part becomes a

359
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Speaker 3: lot lower. Right, If you've had a day of meetings

360
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Speaker 3: and difficult conversations, it completely drains your will part. And

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Speaker 3: then you're walking home and you walk past the shop

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Speaker 3: and you see the fridge out of the corner of

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Speaker 3: your eye and the coca cola.

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Speaker 1: And that's it. And that's the degree stuff Bob was saying.

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Speaker 1: And then the next thing, you know what, you're in

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Speaker 1: the right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally, and I can I've even now, so I've

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Speaker 2: been clean for probably I think it's fourteenth.

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Speaker 1: Do you haven't had any coca cola for fourteen?

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Speaker 2: No, because I know that as soon as I have

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Speaker 2: that one, I'm back off the wagon, I'm bathing in it,

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Speaker 2: and I'm pouring it down my dog and all those

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Speaker 2: sorts of things.

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Speaker 1: That's that's interesting. So what was what did you what strikes?

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Speaker 1: How did you did you use to wing yourself off?

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Speaker 2: It was very much a mental game, but I was

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Speaker 2: also able to tie a consequence to it. So in

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Speaker 2: this case, I made a commitment to my now wife

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Speaker 2: that I would change my behaviors, and this was one

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Speaker 2: of those indications of that I had changed the behavior.

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Speaker 2: So you asked before about that milestone moment or life

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Speaker 2: changing event, and that was where we'd broken up deservedly so,

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Speaker 2: and I was working to get our relationship back on track,

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Speaker 2: and there was multiple commitments I made, and that happened

385
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Speaker 2: to be one of the You know, it turns out

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Speaker 2: inconsequential off to the side, but it's a measure that

387
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,919
Speaker 2: I have and I still use it as to my

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Speaker 2: commitment and my own mental strength in my reinvention of

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Speaker 2: who I am in relationship.

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Speaker 1: Interesting stuff.

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Speaker 3: Let's talk about the because we had a very very

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Speaker 3: brief chat on her before we came on and the

393
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Speaker 3: word values came up. So I am, do you think

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00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 3: that values are in behavior, particularly trying to change behavior.

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Speaker 1: That's the first part of the question.

396
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 3: And then I want to dig in, dig into helping

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00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 3: people discover their values if they're not already clear, because

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Speaker 3: there's some people who'd be listening to this, Yes, I'm

399
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 3: very clear on my values and other people going not

400
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:20,160
Speaker 3: so sure.

401
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean, I think you've got me nervous

402
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: now that my values are going to hold up against

403
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,400
Speaker 2: the the scrutiny of Paul. But I'm happy to go there.

404
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 1: Now.

405
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 2: My values are an evolution from what I learned from

406
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 2: my parents, plus what I inherently have as who I

407
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 2: am as a person. So authenticity is such a strong

408
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 2: thing for me. Now, did you want to give me

409
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 2: a definition of your term of values? Because I know

410
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 2: quite often I can have believes.

411
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: There are different things. There's virtues, there's values.

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Speaker 3: The way I look at it is that things that

413
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 3: are important to you that actually guide your behavior. And

414
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 3: actually authenticity is a big one of mine. I've got

415
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 3: little story once you've finished, So.

416
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 2: My authenticity kindness is huge in my scale. I can't

417
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 2: say I think honesty is in there, but having affairs

418
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,680
Speaker 2: and the things that we do that sometimes are self

419
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Speaker 2: serving means that honesty gets compromised.

420
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Speaker 1: Asperience day, Well.

421
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 2: I think it is for all of us, because if

422
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: we are all honest. I had this conversation with somebody

423
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 2: years ago where they're going, I never tell a lie off,

424
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 2: And how can that be something you're lying about? Life?

425
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 2: Hard work is another one, and it's not a value,

426
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 2: but it's an ethos of getting shit done.

427
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,919
Speaker 1: And talk to us about how.

428
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 3: Important they are in the whole process of reinventing, Like,

429
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 3: how do people use them in that process?

430
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's different levels of reinvention. So if

431
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 2: you're talking about true to the core level reinvention, such

432
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 2: as something like you may have been given a health

433
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 2: diagnose that is cancer, heart conditions or whatever, that's when

434
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: you really start to get deep into who you are

435
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,919
Speaker 2: and it challenges the beliefs that may be built on

436
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 2: other people's stories. So Mum and Dad might have told

437
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: you a certain thing about you know, it could be

438
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 2: gay people, it could be whatever, and all of a sudden,

439
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: you're now seeing the world through your eyes and you're

440
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 2: going that was just an uninformed view of the world.

441
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 2: So now I want to build up my own values

442
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 2: that relate to who I am, because whilst you brought

443
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,679
Speaker 2: into this world and I'm made up of your DNA,

444
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 2: the person I am is not the person you are,

445
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 2: and so the values that I get will be both

446
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 2: in the way I process and think. Plus also there's

447
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 2: a core component which is really hard to describe, but

448
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 2: it's core because it's almost like you're born with them.

449
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,680
Speaker 2: And that adventure part that you and I said we

450
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: shared the genon is something that we might be born on.

451
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 2: So you know, accepting mediocrity might not be something that

452
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,880
Speaker 2: we're able to do because one of our values is

453
00:23:59,160 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 2: to challenge ourself.

454
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,680
Speaker 1: So little story about mine.

455
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 3: So I think my kryptonite over the years has been alcohol, right,

456
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 3: being iris and ex military.

457
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: And even as I say that that's.

458
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 3: Justifying, right because I'm an irishman, I'm ex military.

459
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: You know that's what we do.

460
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 3: We drink, right, And I was brought up in Ireland,

461
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 3: massive drinking culture, massive drinking culture at university, particularly in

462
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 3: those days. Thankfully it's different these days, I think for

463
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 3: a bit when I look at my daughter at university,

464
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 3: but then joining the military, which in those days was

465
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 3: a massive drinking culture in the British military, and so

466
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 3: those behaviors were heavily embedded in me and continued to

467
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 3: I would say, have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. When

468
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 3: I said I was an alcoholic, certainly not, but I

469
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 3: would be probably drinking definitely four days a week, right,

470
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,680
Speaker 3: And I used to have and drink three days a week, right,

471
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 3: Monday Tuesday were generally easy to not drink.

472
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: Then Wednesday was the fucking.

473
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 3: The Will Parr fight from hell, And then Thursday it

474
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 3: was just like, hey, it's thirsty, we'll have a drink.

475
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: Friday, Satday, Sunday, We're yeah, exact.

476
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 3: Sometimes Tuesday sneaked in and then sometimes I find like

477
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 3: it was every night and I wasn't a huge amount.

478
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: Maybe me and Carl would split a.

479
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 3: Bottle of wine or something like that, and then sometimes

480
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 3: there'd be a second bottle come out, which I would

481
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 3: drink more of. Right, And then you know, I always

482
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 3: had a you know, when you're going out, you go

483
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 3: out to get drunk, right, And and probably still do

484
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 3: a little.

485
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: Bit of that, but not The thing that really.

486
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 3: Reduced my alcohol consumption was it started when I was

487
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 3: training to become a boxer, and I was training heaps

488
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 3: and getting myself fit as for a pretty big fight.

489
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 3: But alcohol was still the thing, right, and I was

490
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,159
Speaker 3: justifying it because hey, I'd work my ass off and

491
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 3: training and I could have a few drinks.

492
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: And it was really sitting.

493
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 3: Down and with doing an exercise on my values, and

494
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 3: one of mine is authenticity.

495
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: And wondering, I'm like, hold on a minute, you fuck her.

496
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:10,680
Speaker 1: You're not being authentic.

497
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 3: You are a peak performance corporate speaker who is going

498
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 3: and talking about piak performance and you're drinking four or

499
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 3: five six nights a week.

500
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: Like that is not authentic.

501
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 3: And so I had this. I got my bathroom mirror

502
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 3: where I had all of my processors, rituals, had my

503
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 3: goal up there being a professional boxer, and I had

504
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 3: authenticity written right up there right because two things. I

505
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 3: wanted to get into the ring as an authentic professional boxer,

506
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: and I knew that that word authenticity would be the

507
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 3: one that would influence my alcohol consumption. And and then

508
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 3: post boxing, I kind of forgot about it, started probably

509
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 3: drinking a little bit more, and then I actually brought

510
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 3: it back one day and said, you know what.

511
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 1: You need to be authentic here.

512
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 3: You need to walk the path otherwise stop seeing that authenticity.

513
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: Is a value of yours.

514
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,520
Speaker 3: And that is the thing that has made me drink

515
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 3: like I'm not ris next military.

516
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: And I'll still I'll still give it a note wat

517
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: with me.

518
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:18,239
Speaker 3: It's but the social drinking in our household has just

519
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 3: fallen through the floor, right, and now you can have

520
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 3: blonde glass of wine and it's most.

521
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 1: Nats a week, not touching any of it.

522
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 3: But it was linking into that value of authenticity the

523
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 3: thing that helped me to get over the lane.

524
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: In terms of my behavior.

525
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 2: And isn't that interesting that it's one thing that gives

526
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: you the key to go, okay, I need to change this.

527
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: And authenticity, if you peel away all of those other words,

528
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: you think about what I was talking about from an

529
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 2: affair and hurting people, I'm lying, I'm cheating, I'm doing

530
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 2: those things. I'm not being authentic to who I am.

531
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 2: And it's like buying a Rolex watch. For me, I

532
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: can buy a fake. I can't afford the real thing,

533
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: but I can buy a fake, but I still know

534
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 2: and therefore the value of me wearing the watch doesn't

535
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 2: work for me. I just can't see. I can't see

536
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 2: past that I'm wearing something that isn't the real deal,

537
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 2: and you know it cheapens it for me. And yeah,

538
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 2: I bought one while overseas and I went, you know what,

539
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: that's just not me and I think, guys, and that's

540
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,200
Speaker 2: my view of that. Cool.

541
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 3: So we talked about the power of values in helping

542
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 3: guide behavior. Let's let's just switch tacks a little bit,

543
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 3: because you talk in your book for a bit about AI,

544
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 3: right and and and.

545
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 1: AI is big and it's here to stay for sure.

546
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 3: And you talk about harnessing the power of ar so

547
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 3: we're gonna we're gonna switch from personal and eye to

548
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 3: to to people's professional things. How can people harness the

549
00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 3: power of ar AI effectively in their job and maybe

550
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: if they are looking to reinvent themselves.

551
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 2: Sure so is becoming so intuitive and a great tool.

552
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: And I think you've got to keep in mind the

553
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 2: tool part of it. But you know, we have the opportunity,

554
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 2: unlike any other part in the world or sorry, any

555
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 2: other time in the world, to get into creative fields,

556
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: fields that we've never thought of before, and explore them

557
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: without having to go and do the university degrees. And

558
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 2: you're doing your PhD. I did a couple of masters

559
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: along the way as well. And the answers that I

560
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 2: would get out of going into AI, I'm giving a

561
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: good prompt are better than what my three year degrees

562
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 2: do as and also probably a senior associate in a

563
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 2: knowledge creat So right now, it is crazy. I was

564
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: talking with my wife the other day and so we

565
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 2: have a business on also longevity for women, and we

566
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 2: were working on a business plan and I said, hang on,

567
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: se let me just jump into Gemini Deep Research and

568
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: have a look at that. The get them to create

569
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: the business plan. After it's searching three hundred and ninety

570
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 2: five websites to a deep level of detail that would

571
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 2: have taken me probably a year. It then pops out

572
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: this strategy that is, oh, this market here has these challenges,

573
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 2: but it also has these opportunities. And the assessment was

574
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,479
Speaker 2: at the level that you would expect from a senior

575
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 2: partner in one of these firms that you're paying sort

576
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 2: of between five and ten grand a day for so

577
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: and then I will hold the book up because it

578
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 2: does come through. Forget the media part this section here.

579
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: Last time on sort of shit out my last book,

580
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 2: I paid I think it was two thousand dollars for

581
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 2: the cover to be designed. This time, I went, okay,

582
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 2: chat GBT, let's see what you got jumped in and

583
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: amongst other things. So it gave me a whole selection.

584
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 2: It came up with this and I went, oh, I

585
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 2: think I love that, and I think I love it

586
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 2: because it captures the puzzle.

587
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: Pieces that we do with our lives.

588
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 2: Now a year ago I couldn't have done that, But

589
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 2: now I'm getting to that point where this tool is

590
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: letting me be more entrepreneur. And if we go back

591
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 2: to I can't remember the exact official term, but I'm

592
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 2: going to call it Bourberd syndrome, where I can go

593
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: I want to explore how much a nineteen sixty four

594
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 2: Combi would sell for in this market and what my

595
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 2: restoration costs would be. Instead of me going googling, I

596
00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 2: can type that prompt in and have a full report

597
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: of past sales and everything within about three minutes. It

598
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 2: my decision making is so much fun.

599
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 3: And it's all about the quality of the prompt, Isn't

600
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 3: it that when you're getting the information?

601
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: But it is today it's like going and saying to

602
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 2: somebody that you're getting a Sarah's going to say a

603
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 2: heck cut, mate, and I'm not sure. I'm far behind,

604
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 2: So I don't know that's a good example. But let's

605
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: say going into the barber and you go, hey, I

606
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 2: want you to just trim there, and they go okay,

607
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 2: So they just do whatever they're thinking, but you haven't

608
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 2: given them the instructions. I want my brows done, I want,

609
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 2: you know, whatever else. So it's about being able to

610
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 2: communicate and communicate efficiently, and so that's what we will learn,

611
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 2: just like were going and learning a second language. If

612
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 2: we go into a new country, we're going to learn

613
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 2: how we best communicate by the responses we get back

614
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 2: and we go, oh, I don't remember ordering that vanilla slice.

615
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: I actually ordered the sausage roll. Let me try something

616
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 2: else now. And as we do that, it's kind of

617
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 2: like mini reinventions because we're learning by a mystats.

618
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 1: It's a crazy world that we're getting into.

619
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think you're right. Is this stuff is

620
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 4: here to say and we need to use it effectively.

621
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,719
Speaker 4: And I've used it for some stuff and it just

622
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 4: produces some really cool shit. There's also it can produce

623
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 4: a little bit of nonsense, but I think you can

624
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 4: sharpen it up like that and then feed it back

625
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 4: that it's produced nonsense and it learns, doesn't it.

626
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 2: So yeah, we've become the director in our own lives

627
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 2: on this one.

628
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 3: And now let's talk about so with the whole reinvention

629
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 3: and challenges, and I think we're very aligned on this

630
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 3: one in looking to turn life's challenges into growth opportunities.

631
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 3: Give us an example, either from you or someone that

632
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 3: you that you know, there's been a big challenge that

633
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 3: they've fierced or you have fierced that has actually turned

634
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 3: into a growth opportunity.

635
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 2: I can probably only give you mine because I think

636
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 2: mine are my real stories. Everybody else's would be an

637
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 2: interpretation of their own story. So for me again, I

638
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: will go with this epara of leaving somebody behind that

639
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 2: I had cared about significantly and loved deeply, and then

640
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 2: moving into a new relationship. So for those things there

641
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 2: I needed to firstly, I use a bit of a

642
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: six step project process. In this number one was I

643
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 2: needed to accept that change had happened. There was a

644
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: period of time of just you know, feeling sorry for myself,

645
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: even though it was my affections.

646
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 1: Led me down. You can't get can't move it anywhere.

647
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 2: No, exactly. So you need to be able to go

648
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 2: accept change happens and accept this one happens. And you

649
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 2: would know this from all of the stuff that you've

650
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 2: done as well. The acceptance of change becomes easier the

651
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 2: more you do it.

652
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 3: Yes, I'll tell you what, it's not just me and

653
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 3: you saying that. Two and a half thousand years ago,

654
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 3: Confucius said the change is the only stealable reference point

655
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 3: in life, and the change process can be easy and

656
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 3: natural for us if and only if we embrace it

657
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 3: and then talked about the more often the embrace change,

658
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 3: the easier it becomes.

659
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, it makes sense if you think about our

660
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 2: physiological adaptation. The more we do something, the better we

661
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 2: get the more and I'll call it neural pathways, but

662
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 2: you're going to blink at me and go Gary, that's

663
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: not the right term. But neural pathways are strengthened as

664
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 2: part of that process. So, like going to the gym,

665
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: the more we do it, the stronger we become and

666
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 2: the more we're able to use it. And so then

667
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: from there, the next part is the give yourself a

668
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 2: good hard look because the reality check means that what

669
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 2: you've done you played a role in wherever you are

670
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: right now, and it could be the most traumatic thing

671
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,439
Speaker 2: that was done to you, but there was a part

672
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: to play in there that you need to assess for

673
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 2: yourself and decide what's the stuff I want to go

674
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 2: forward with, good, bad, and ugly.

675
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 1: I'll call it.

676
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 2: What's the good stuff that you want to keep going,

677
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 2: what's the bad stuff you kind of don't want to do,

678
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 2: and what's the ugly stuff you just want to make

679
00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: sure never happens again.

680
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 3: Can I just jump on in before one because a

681
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 3: brilliant little tool from Japanese psychology I'm stealing this off

682
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 3: my wife called a ni can reflection where and you

683
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 3: can do this on individuals and situations. So take your

684
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 3: break up for example. We're at that point because a

685
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 3: lot of people get very bitter over a breakup and

686
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 3: it's like that person's the devil in cornate, right, But

687
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 3: then I can reflection, and you can do this in

688
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 3: five year chunks or over the entire relationship.

689
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: Is three questions. What did I give? What did I receive?

690
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 3: And what troubles and difficulties did I cause? All right,

691
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 3: And it's that third question that is really important, that

692
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 3: tends to be the one that people avoid, But this

693
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 3: is exactly your have a.

694
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 1: Good hard look at yourself. What was you rule in this? Right?

695
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 1: I think that's hugely important if we're going to lane

696
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: and grill.

697
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 2: And as a side note, I've been incredibly fortunate that

698
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 2: the people in my life some haven't come along the

699
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 2: journey with me. But my ex wife Julie and her

700
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 2: husband Alan live about three minutes away from us, we

701
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 2: would catch up with them at least once once a

702
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 2: week probably. Yeah, it's so cool and I really cherish

703
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 2: and value that relationship that's built on. Yes, we had

704
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 2: a deep love for each other, it turned into friendship,

705
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 2: and my behaviors meant that we broke what we had,

706
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 2: but it probably needed to be broken. And then moving forward,

707
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: we've been able to build a world of trust that Alan,

708
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: Julie's husband, and my wife Ezra are able to trust

709
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: us in this relationship of good friends. And so Julian

710
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 2: Azra will go bootskooting every Wednesday night and I almost

711
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 2: every Wednesday go How lucky am I that these people

712
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 2: have been able to accept them find love for themselves.

713
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's super cool. So let's talk about the next step.

714
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: Stand in your process.

715
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 3: You think you said you had a six step process

716
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: for sure if we just recap the first couple of years.

717
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the word we're creating is called create and

718
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 2: so we've had change happens and change acceptance reality check.

719
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 2: The next one is empowering yourself because once we've done

720
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 2: all of the self reflection and everything else, we now

721
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 2: need to start to think about where do we want

722
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 2: to be? What is it and who are we going

723
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 2: to be in this next form of ourselves because our

724
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 2: old normal no longer exists and we now get a

725
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 2: choice to create our new normal. We don't get to

726
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: choose everything, but we get to create a lot of

727
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 2: it based on the views, the approaches, and the choices

728
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 2: we make in this. And so by empowering yourself, it

729
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,399
Speaker 2: may be you know, listening to you talk today, I'm

730
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 2: learning from you and there's things that I'm taking forward

731
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 2: into how I approach life. The books I read, the

732
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 2: programs I watch, all of those are about empowering me.

733
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,320
Speaker 2: And so that's great. So now I am I've done training,

734
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 2: I've done all of the things that make that I'm

735
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 2: ready to move forward. And you would know this from

736
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 2: change and resilience, and I know it from transformational change

737
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 2: in organizations. People won't change when there's a fear of failure.

738
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: So how do we help them get over their fear

739
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 2: of failure? Well, we train them so that they know

740
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 2: that they're capable of performing in this new world, and

741
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:28,439
Speaker 2: we communicate with them regularly so that they understand where

742
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 2: they're heading and what the unexpected may be. But they

743
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 2: also have a voice in being able to express to

744
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 2: themselves or to us, Hey, I've got uncertainties. Can you

745
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 2: listen to me and let me help and then sort

746
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 2: of move me forward with that and understand why I'm

747
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: so nervous. You go, yep, that's great. That's part of

748
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 2: helping their bob talk this through. And then we go

749
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 2: into the next part, which is the where a lot

750
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 2: of people will fall down. So we've done the analysis,

751
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 2: We've started to think about Okay, I've done all the training,

752
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,759
Speaker 2: I'm ready to go. I don't do it, No, let's not.

753
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 2: So action is the next one, and this is where

754
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 2: most people will fall down because action means stepping into

755
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 2: the unknown, into territories and lands that we have uncertainty,

756
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: and there's a well, sorry, no, there is a certainty.

757
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: We're going to take missteps. We're going to take wrong steps.

758
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: We're going to do the things that we didn't think.

759
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: They didn't play out the way we thought they would.

760
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: So failure again comes into this equation. And the only

761
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 2: way to deal with failure is that growth mindset or

762
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 2: a reinvention mindset. And so I've taken a step.

763
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:39,799
Speaker 3: Everything's an experiment, right, It just need to be your

764
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 3: own and just run experiments rather than sitting and procrastinating.

765
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: Is it's just I'm big on this.

766
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 3: You just get into action because motivation follows action, not

767
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 3: the other way, right.

768
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 2: Yes, totally. I don't know whether you follow the rocket

769
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 2: program that we've got in Australia. So there's you know,

770
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 2: they're sending rockets up and testing them, and we've got

771
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 2: some really create an amazing scientists here. They send rockets

772
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: up knowing that it's going to fail. It's data, but

773
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 2: they've also got the measures there.

774
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 3: Everything's everything's ex and they going Okay, what did we learn?

775
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

776
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 2: And I love that approach of be the scientist of

777
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 2: your own life because it's.

778
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 1: All that's just it's just it's.

779
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,959
Speaker 2: All about Yeah, it wasn't ten thousand light bulb.

780
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

781
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,800
Speaker 2: And then you've got Michael Jordan with his I've failed

782
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: nine thousand times. I think it is all.

783
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 3: Absolutely yeah, just and it's that mainset of just running

784
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 3: experiments and learning and growing and developing through the process

785
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 3: and not being a free to feel to your.

786
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 2: Point right Yeah, and if you hit a roadblock, you

787
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 2: go yep, kill what about I learn? And you then

788
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 2: divert unless you kind of need to do it a

789
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 2: second time because you're not You're kind of like me,

790
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 2: not that smart. So you bump into the wall twice

791
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 2: and they go, oh that hurts second time, shouldn't a

792
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 2: third time? And now the pressure is on. And then

793
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 2: of course the action part also falls into that tri

794
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:03,479
Speaker 2: track component of failure. And then the final part, which

795
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 2: is something I really have struggled with, is enjoy The.

796
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,359
Speaker 3: Tea is try try again, and so it's to get

797
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 3: into actually, don't give up, learn your learn your lessons,

798
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 3: go again.

799
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 2: And reset yourself, start doing the last enjoying the process

800
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 2: and now enjoying. For me, I couldn't do it because

801
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 2: I'd set myself at the tender age of eighteen and

802
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: with no I suppose foundation to put this promise on

803
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: myself was I would be a millionaire by the time

804
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 2: I thirty. I was thirty, so each birthday that became

805
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 2: part of the journey to thirty was actually not a

806
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 2: celebration but a milestone.

807
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 1: Yeah.

808
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 2: So I don't do birthdays well, and it's still a

809
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 2: thing that I have to go. I've got to just

810
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 2: accept that life is live. But the one thing I

811
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 2: have learned is having gone through those really dark spaces

812
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 2: in that journey of birthdays and whatever else might happen,

813
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 2: and also then looking backwards, but blame and you know, oh,

814
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 2: well I could have on that differently. Well you didn't,

815
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 2: and you don't get a second shot because it's in

816
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 2: the past.

817
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:05,359
Speaker 1: It's gone. Let it go.

818
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,520
Speaker 2: The future hasn't happened. Now, let that one go too.

819
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,359
Speaker 2: You'd like focus on it, but if it doesn't play

820
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 2: out the way you expected, then you're pretty much on

821
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 2: the money. All we have is here and now. And

822
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,919
Speaker 2: when I'm finding myself getting really anxious or stressed, that's

823
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,800
Speaker 2: because I'm either looking forwards or backwards present.

824
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:29,280
Speaker 3: That's such an important statement and it is completely backed

825
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 3: up by science and philosophy. Epic Titus two thousand years

826
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 3: ago said we have no business in the past of

827
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 3: the future. All we have is a series of present moments.

828
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 3: The Stoics new two thousand years ago that depression was

829
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,959
Speaker 3: lamenting on the past. Anxiety is a strong concern about

830
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 3: the future, but they've become problematic because we bring the

831
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 3: past of the future into the present moment. That's when

832
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 3: it creates difficulties for us. Right, It's like, and you know,

833
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 3: if we think about it, for me, it plays back into.

834
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 1: To attention, and it's where your attention is. And yes,

835
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 1: we have to be future focused to be able to plan.

836
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: I think Seneca picked that up the other story. He said,

837
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: foresight is man's.

838
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 3: Greatest gift and his greatest achilles heat, which I love

839
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 3: that because it enables us to plan for the future,

840
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 3: but it also enables us to catastrophize and be anxious

841
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 3: about shit that doesn't actually happen. And a lot of

842
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 3: people are just living in the past or living in

843
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 3: the future, and they're not good places to live your life.

844
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 3: And Matt Killing's worth Actually he did a study with

845
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 3: Professor Dan Gilbert around happiness and they had people have

846
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,800
Speaker 3: an app and was basically sending them a little question

847
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 3: about raising their happiness and also what they were doing

848
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 3: and what they find. They've got so many data points

849
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 3: that someone's levels of happiness was about being in the moment,

850
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 3: even if they were stuck in traffic, but they were

851
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 3: fully present, they were much happier than if they were

852
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,920
Speaker 3: daydreaming about the future or are thinking about the past. Right,

853
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 3: and yeah, all the meditators are there in the monks

854
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 3: and we going no shit, guys, how long did it

855
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 3: take you to work that.

856
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean yeah, I mean talking two thousand years back.

857
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:13,879
Speaker 2: We're talking five thousand years back. The other thing i'd

858
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: I'll like to sort of unpack there a little bit

859
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,239
Speaker 2: is that is the illusion of happiness because we chose it.

860
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 3: This is so much violent agreement here, and I think

861
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 3: we are we have a society that is obsessed with emotions.

862
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 3: We are chasing one emotion, happiness, and we are medicating

863
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 3: other emotions sadness, nervousness, which are now depression, anxiety. We

864
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 3: just we are a nation that is freaking obsessed with

865
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 3: controlling emotions.

866
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: And emotions are just like clouds. They come and they go.

867
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,280
Speaker 1: You can't be happy twenty four to seven.

868
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,240
Speaker 3: And anybody whose goal in life is to be happy

869
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 3: is completely and utterly bunkers and likely heading towards failure totally.

870
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 2: If you focus on happiness, you can beyond that individual.

871
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 2: And you know, that's one of the things that I've

872
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 2: learned in the in the journey and the many reinventions,

873
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 2: is we keep putting happiness as this aspirational thing, whereas

874
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 2: a contentment it just still goes back to again.

875
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 3: Contentment should be the good content totally.

876
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 2: You know if you've have gone through and you've suffered,

877
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:28,240
Speaker 2: like let's say you've got had major surgery like the which.

878
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 3: I had, which I hadn't but it's on its way.

879
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 2: How did you get?

880
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,839
Speaker 3: But I view it's a challenge, right But anyway, show

881
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 3: you what you were saying about going.

882
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 1: Through me surgery.

883
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, so when you go through major surgery, you will

884
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 2: be expressive. There will be a level of pain that

885
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: you have and quite often, and I've had, I've torn

886
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 2: off biceps on both sides and also the peck off

887
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,879
Speaker 2: this side as well. When that happens and I've gone

888
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: through the surgery to reattach, I look with a fascination

889
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:59,839
Speaker 2: of wow, this is an interesting thing from a pain perspective.

890
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,840
Speaker 2: But equally I then go, am I okay, Like I

891
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 2: could worry that the pain's going to get worse, but

892
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 2: right now, is that pain bearable? And if so, then

893
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 2: I'm okay. I'm okay. And that is something that I

894
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,800
Speaker 2: use regularly, which is almost like a little checklist of

895
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 2: I feel myself and my anxiety and my stress levels

896
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 2: coming up. And I'm assuming from having open heart surgery

897
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:26,760
Speaker 2: I had, I'm in the nineteenth percentile for the culture

898
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 2: is getting blocked as well. Yeah, yeah, sclerosis, I think

899
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: it is. Thank you. Yeah, that's why we've got you

900
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 2: here as well, so you can pick up after me.

901
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 2: So you know, that was a life changing thing for

902
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 2: me of you know, some of the behaviors again had to.

903
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 3: Change, and you were talking about the pin and reframing

904
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 3: the pain, and the whole thing was about the operation we.

905
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 1: Got there from, about being in the moment.

906
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,760
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And so I can stress about those things

907
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 2: of the future, and so I'll get anxious. But if

908
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 2: I do three things, I think it's three, let's see

909
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 2: how we go. Number one is am I okay right now?

910
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 2: Am I breathing?

911
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:13,959
Speaker 1: Yeah?

912
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 2: My breathing is pretty good, even if it was a

913
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 2: financial issue and I'm facing impending bankruptcy. Am I okay?

914
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 1: Right now?

915
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 2: Have I got enough food to eat?

916
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 1: Yeah?

917
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 2: I do? Have got people that I care about and

918
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,840
Speaker 2: they care about me. Yeah I do. Okay, take another breath.

919
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 2: And those things help bring back bring me back to

920
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 2: the present, because I am a future liver and the

921
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 2: past dweller, and I need to remind myself on a

922
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:40,879
Speaker 2: regular basis.

923
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 3: Of that when people have difficulties, the words this two

924
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 3: shall pass.

925
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: Are very powerful, right, just to know that you will

926
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,760
Speaker 1: get through this, this too shall pass.

927
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:58,319
Speaker 3: And the thing we were talking, you just reminded me

928
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 3: about something with open heart surgery right when I knew

929
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,799
Speaker 3: I was going into it. And this is about the

930
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 3: future and catastrophizing, right, So clearly what I did first

931
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 3: when I first found out that I had to have

932
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 3: because I was born with a dodgy valve that get

933
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 3: picked up by chance, right, because I played soccer with

934
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 3: a cardiologist, and you know, I came home, I wrote

935
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,320
Speaker 3: a couple of things in my bathroom murror. One of

936
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 3: the things I wrote on my bathroom murror was, and

937
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 3: it's a line from Monty Python, you lucky, lucky bastard, right,

938
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 3: is written on my bathroom murr because I could have gone,

939
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,399
Speaker 3: oh fucking woe is me, I've got to have open

940
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 3: heart surgery. But I was like, I got this picked up,

941
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,839
Speaker 3: this thing that would definitely have killed me, and I

942
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:48,240
Speaker 3: got that picked up because I was being proactive about

943
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 3: my health.

944
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 1: Then happened to play soccer with a cardiologist. Right.

945
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 2: But the.

946
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 1: Thing about.

947
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 3: When you're going into something like that that I obviously

948
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 3: looked up the risks, you know, being and that that's

949
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:08,320
Speaker 3: probably the ex military helicopter navigator. We were always a

950
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 3: bit about risks and doing assessments on risks and mitigating risks.

951
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 3: But the whole point of looking up the risk is, okay,

952
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 3: so what's the chances that I'm going to die on

953
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,840
Speaker 3: the table here? And it was less than one percent

954
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 3: was what the data showed, and I thought, well, I'm

955
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 3: pretty fit and healthy, so I'm probably it's even less

956
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,919
Speaker 3: than that. But the whole point of doing that risk

957
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 3: analysis wasn't to get anxious about it.

958
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,439
Speaker 1: It was like, okay, so what needs to be done? Right?

959
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: So that is a less than one percent chance.

960
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 3: But again, we were always taught you look at what's

961
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 3: the what's the risk of something happening, and what's the

962
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 3: potential impact.

963
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 1: So for me, the risk is pretty.

964
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,720
Speaker 3: Low of dying on the table, but the potential impact

965
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,839
Speaker 3: is fucking massive. So that's where I went, Shit, I

966
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 3: need to get my furze in order, just in case, right,

967
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,320
Speaker 3: And I need to record some videos for my kids

968
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 3: for their eighteenth and their twenty first birthday is just

969
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 3: in case, right, And so I did that to mitigate

970
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 3: for those risks, But then all of my energy was

971
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 3: directed towards the challenge, right, And I actually wrote on

972
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,240
Speaker 3: my bathroom mirror worthy opponent, and I'm like, this open

973
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 3: heart surgery is my worthy opponent that I need to

974
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 3: train for that's going to bring out the best in me.

975
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 3: So that I think that that's important when people are

976
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 3: going through big changes, isn't It's it's the mindset that

977
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 3: they have to look at as a challenge to test

978
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:49,879
Speaker 3: and develop you, rather than as a stressor or a

979
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:55,000
Speaker 3: bad thing, because that massively changes your physiology, your motivation,

980
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 3: your engagement in the task, all of this shit.

981
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: And I'm I'm sure you've come across that.

982
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. I joke with my wife when I because

983
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 2: we're very competitive, and it'll be something like walking or

984
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,919
Speaker 2: you know, bush walking through really tough terrain, and I'll say,

985
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 2: give me all the packs. I'll take them, and you go,

986
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 2: why because I need to know that I can and

987
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 2: you know what happens if I ever get drafted. She's going,

988
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:24,720
Speaker 2: you're sixty years old.

989
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: I'm going, you here, you never know interesting stuff.

990
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 3: So, Carrie, what's so going through the process of writing

991
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 3: this book? Because I've just handed in my manuscript for

992
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 3: my second book, right, and actually writing that will, I

993
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 3: learned some stuff that I've then gone and applied and

994
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 3: it's kind of stuff that I knew. But when you

995
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 3: write it, Dine, and you're talking about your thinking, fucking hell, yeh,

996
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 3: I need to do more of that right And one

997
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 3: of my big like was more time in nature.

998
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,239
Speaker 1: As I was I was writing about the chapter on it.

999
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 3: So is there anything that when you wrote this book

1000
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 3: that you actually looked at it and went fuck, I

1001
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 3: need to take that on board and I need to

1002
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,760
Speaker 3: double down on this bit in my life.

1003
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,439
Speaker 1: Enjoy enjoy. That was it.

1004
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:20,399
Speaker 2: But like you, the process of writing a book, if

1005
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,440
Speaker 2: listeners haven't ever sat down to just try and start

1006
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 2: writing something. You may start at the first word thinking

1007
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 2: you know where this story is about to get up.

1008
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:31,920
Speaker 2: The story evolves and tells itself through you as you

1009
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 2: start writing. And you know, Bob, you talked about Monty Python.

1010
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 2: Bob's is the reason Bob came into my head in

1011
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: the first book was the definition of oh sorry, the

1012
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 2: that Blackadder said, Bob. And so I'm sitting there writing away,

1013
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:51,600
Speaker 2: going okay, I need something to name the mind Bob.

1014
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 2: And then afterwards, when the book was all finished and printed,

1015
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, I realized, Bob is the acting

1016
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 2: for Boss of Brain. That that's pretty good. And you

1017
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 2: get all of these revelations that you sit back and

1018
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 2: you go, I'm not sure where that came from, but

1019
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 2: it's come from me. So it's built around the stories

1020
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 2: I have within me. But the story has told itself,

1021
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 2: and I'm as surprised as anybody else. And sometimes I

1022
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 2: looked at my writing and my wife was reading the

1023
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 2: most recent one. He said, you're actually a good writer.

1024
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 2: I think of a surprise in a voice, and I

1025
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 2: read read some of it and I went, yeah, you're

1026
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 2: actually right. And it's that thing of being authentic, of

1027
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 2: using the stories that are within you to reflect and

1028
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 2: tell the stories that or the messaging that you need

1029
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 2: to get.

1030
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 3: And look, I think, well, we'll finish it there, but

1031
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 3: I just want to revisit your enjoy thing because it came.

1032
00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: Up on the podcast a few weeks ago and it's

1033
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 1: something that when I remembered it, I was like, fuck, yeah,

1034
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 1: that that is so true.

1035
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 3: And it's a quote from a book called Zen in

1036
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 3: the Eye of Motorcycle Maintenance by Martin Persi Michael Persic,

1037
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 3: It's Michael Percy anyway, and somebody persing and he talks

1038
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,799
Speaker 3: about that we're all trying to climb the mountain. Like

1039
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 3: everybody's trying to climb the mountain, you know, these big goals.

1040
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 3: And he said that lots of people miss the journey

1041
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 3: because they're so focused on the destiny issue.

1042
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: And he's like, sometimes it's better to travel than to

1043
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 1: get there. And that's really about joining the process, isn't it.

1044
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,759
Speaker 3: You got a one in four hundred trillion chance of

1045
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:27,520
Speaker 3: being born, fucking waste it?

1046
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, can I have one more point with enjoy is

1047
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 2: also laughed. You know, when my mum lost a leg

1048
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 2: to cancer, we laughed when she was dying.

1049
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:36,280
Speaker 1: We laughed.

1050
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 2: When my ten year old niece was lying in I

1051
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 2: think it was Marta hospital with meningitis. She eventually died,

1052
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 2: we laughed. And the reason we laughed was we needed

1053
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 2: the stress relief. Our brains were so in such a

1054
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 2: dark spot. The being able to laugh and just be

1055
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 2: in that moment with people that you care about and

1056
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,840
Speaker 2: laugh and enjoy sounds weird, sounds kind of all like

1057
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 2: gallow humor, and it is, but that's the stress release

1058
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:01,400
Speaker 2: and that's.

1059
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, we did a lot of gallows humor in my

1060
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 3: time in search and rescue, and it is very effective

1061
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 3: as a stress reliever one hundred percent. Yeah, this has

1062
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:14,800
Speaker 3: been awesome. You're like a brother from another mother. So yes,

1063
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 3: over a beer maybe so Master The Art of Reinvention

1064
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 3: is the book presumably available in all good bookstores. But

1065
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 3: what else you do consulting that sort of stuff? And

1066
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 3: where do people go to find out more? And on

1067
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:36,480
Speaker 3: what other services do you offer for anybody that's out there,

1068
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 3: whether they are individuals or companies.

1069
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure so. Gary Walden dot com is my website

1070
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: and speaking and also consulting the things that I do

1071
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:50,280
Speaker 2: that help share and get to get people to change

1072
00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 2: and track, and it is something

1073
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 3: That definitely all need to do because the journey is

1074
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,720
Speaker 3: just so much more interesting if you reinvent right awesome

1075
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 3: than cat