1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: I'll get atenm it's Harps, It's Kelly Smith, the one 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: and only back for the first time in twenty twenty six, 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,319 Speaker 1: I think, am I right in that? 4 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:09,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, first time? 5 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,959 Speaker 1: Giddy up by a cup, welcome back? How are you? 6 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 3: Yeah? 7 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: Pretty good? 8 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 2: Pretty good? How are you? 9 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm good. Just soldiering through soldiering That sounds melodramatic, 10 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: Just sprinting through the year, starting with a little bit 11 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: of a slow jog, building up as I head towards March. 12 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: Just finding a little bit of momentum and ticking a 13 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: few boxes and getting a few outcomes and learning a 14 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: few things and fucking up a little bit as I do. 15 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: But I guess we call that the human experience. Have 16 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: you had anything, anything outstanding on your calendar so far? 17 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 3: Pretty much the same, so, you know, the start of 18 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 3: the year for me, there was a lot going on 19 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 3: with my nan, who I've mentioned before. She at ninety six, 20 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 3: had to really reframe and change her life. So she's 21 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 3: now in what we call h care And they are amazing, 22 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 3: amazing people like you look at them and go wow, 23 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 3: Like you guys, do something for someone else every single 24 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 3: day with a smile on your face. And you know, 25 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 3: initially we thought, okay, they're probably putting it on because 26 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 3: you know, she's brand new, and it has it hasn't changed. 27 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 3: They are all so lovely. Nan is very happy and 28 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 3: very safe, which is what we want for her obviously. 29 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 3: But just the other day she said, where's your podcast? 30 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 3: What's going on? Why are you talking to people anymore? 31 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:35,960 Speaker 1: Oh? Wow? 32 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, so. 33 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 3: She was, She's like, well, you need to you need 34 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 3: to go back and start talking to people again. And 35 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 3: I think now that she feels quite settled, she's ready 36 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 3: to kind of, you know, give me a bit of 37 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 3: a shove back out there. 38 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 2: And so that was quite nice. So that's been yeah, yeah, 39 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 2: so that's been the start of my year. 40 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 3: So, as you say, just kind of getting ready to 41 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,720 Speaker 3: ramp up, you know now that things are a bit 42 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 3: kind of I. 43 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 2: Don't know what's normal, but getting back into a rhythm. 44 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: I guess how's her brain going. How's her ninety six 45 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,679 Speaker 1: year old brain going? 46 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 2: Look for ninety six, I would dare say very well. 47 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 2: So short term memory is. 48 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,519 Speaker 3: She says she's getting a bit bloody, that's her technical term, 49 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 3: bit bloody. But she could still tell you everything that 50 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 3: happened when she was five years old. 51 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so yeah, that's the way I think. Even 52 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: when you're you know, fifties and sixties, like sher short 53 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: term memory starts to go unless you're really really working 54 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: on it. And like I've got friends my age who 55 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: their short term memory is pretty rubbish, their long term 56 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 1: memory is amazing. That's part of the brain that kind 57 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: of one of the bits that kind of declines first 58 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: is the short term stuff Like how I don't it 59 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 1: probably doesn't happen to you, but I meet people in 60 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: a conversation four sentences in, I can't remember the name 61 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 1: of the per that I just got introduced to, mainly 62 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: because I wasn't really focusing, but also that's pretty bad. 63 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: So we're met jad for rock solid forty seconds and 64 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: forty seconds ago someone told me your name was Donna 65 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: or Dave or something, and I'm looking at you, going nah, 66 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: I got nothing. So from then it becomes old. 67 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 4: Mate, oh mate, the go to all right, So your 68 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 4: job in Inverted Commas is to come on every once 69 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 4: in a while and just as our regular civilian, our 70 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 4: regular listener with a. 71 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: Curious brain who might have a few questions relevant to 72 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: yourself or just general stuff. That you think might be 73 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: of interest to the collective. So where do you want 74 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 1: to start. I'm putty in your putty in your hands. 75 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 3: Oh, this is this is fun. One of the things 76 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 3: I've been thinking about recently. So I've been working with 77 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 3: the nutrition coach, and this is something that I've always 78 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 3: been really curious about and never really understood completely. Sort 79 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 3: of thought I had a bit of a handle on 80 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 3: it and really didn't. So I'm getting all of this 81 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 3: wonderful information about calories, macros, how they work, how they 82 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:18,039 Speaker 3: work in particular with heavy expenditure like lifting weights and 83 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 3: things like that. But one of the things I'm noticing, 84 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,719 Speaker 3: and it's something that you have spoken about a bit recently, 85 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 3: and I'm seeing it with friends. I'm seeing it, you know, 86 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 3: every time you kind of plug something into like a 87 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 3: calculator or whatever. And it's the fact that walking and 88 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 3: getting your steps up is so much more important in 89 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 3: terms of your fitness, weight loss, fat loss journey. And 90 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 3: it was something for me that I always really enjoyed walking. 91 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 3: It was more like a you know, let's go and 92 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 3: clear the headspace. But it's becoming more and more obvious 93 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 3: that the more you walk, the easier or the more 94 00:04:57,200 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 3: beneficial that is for fat loss, and why, like what 95 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 3: is it around, like the actual physicality of that that 96 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 3: makes that such a good form of exercise. 97 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think anything that you do where you 98 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: are carrying your weight, Like you sit on a bike, 99 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: you're not really carrying your weight. The bike is carrying 100 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: your weight and you're just peddling. You know, you sit 101 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: on an arm bike in the gym, or a grinder, 102 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: or you know you're on an elliptical strider in the 103 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: gym where yeah, you're kind of carrying your weight, but 104 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: really the whole thing is on a pendulum or a swing. 105 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: So I think there's a couple. It's not a single thing, 106 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: but one of the main things is that you are 107 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: carrying your weight, and the heavier you are, the more 108 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: work you're doing. So if we get somebody, I'm just 109 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 1: going to make some of the figures up. But if 110 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: we get Kelly, who weighs I don't know what your 111 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: a doesn't matter. But let's say you weigh sixty kilos. 112 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what you weigh. But let's say you've 113 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 1: got a friend who wears a hundred kilos and you 114 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,360 Speaker 1: and that one hundred kilos versus sixty kilos Kelly, that 115 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: person you go for the same walk at the same time, 116 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: over the same distance, at the same speed, Well, there 117 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: any energy expenditure ie calorie burning will be way bigger 118 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: than yours because they're carrying forty kilos that you are 119 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: not carrying, So it's hiking that weight around. So in 120 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: a weird way, sometimes being bigger or heavier or more overweight, 121 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,920 Speaker 1: there are surprising benefits because you're burning more calories per 122 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: unit of time if you're doing the same thing at 123 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: the same level. And I think you know, I think 124 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: also when you start something like I am, like everyone 125 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: who listens to this show regularly knows that a year 126 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: and a half ago my phone time, I was fat 127 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: and I didn't walk enough right pretty much, and then 128 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: I just started I went right, well, that's it. From tomorrow, 129 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,559 Speaker 1: I'm doing ten thousand rock bottom and hand on harder. 130 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: I can say that every day that since then, I've 131 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 1: done at the worst ten thousand steps a day, and 132 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: I was doing something like four and a half without 133 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:06,599 Speaker 1: really realizing it. So my steps are somewhere between doubled 134 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: and tripled every day of my life. But also what 135 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: happens when you create a new good habit. We'll talk 136 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: about the difference maybe between habit and obsession. That's an 137 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: interesting conversation in itself. But when you create a new habit, 138 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: there's a shift emotionally and psychologically. So I'm not going 139 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,000 Speaker 1: to go and walk ten thousand steps or fifteen thousand 140 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: steps and at the end of that eat a fucking 141 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: cheeseburger because I've done this really good. So when we 142 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: create a new habit, one which aligns with who and 143 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: how we want to be behaviorally, psychologically, emotionally, physiologically like 144 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: I'm improving me or what I think is my version 145 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: of improvemental success or growth, we're much more likely to 146 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: make decisions which are consistent with health, wellness, optimization performance. 147 00:07:55,520 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: There's that. Now, if you want to go physiology, then 148 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: more of the calories, so the greater. Let's say we 149 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: burn x calories per hour walking and we burn one 150 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: and a half x calories an hour running or two 151 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: x calories an hour. Overall, will burn more fat running 152 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 1: than walking, and this is where people get tripped up. 153 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: But as a percentage of energy expenditure, it will be 154 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: higher in the walking. Okay, So but let's say, hypothetically, 155 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: let's say seventy percent of the five hundred calories that 156 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,960 Speaker 1: I expend walking are fat are from fat. We go 157 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: seventy percent, and five hundred is three point fifty, right, 158 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: and we might go only fifty percent of the calories 159 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: that I burn when I'm jogging is from fat, so 160 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: walking is better. But then you go, hang on, Brian, 161 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: you're burning eight hundred calories running. Fifty percent of eight 162 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: hundred is four hundred, which is more than three fifty. 163 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 1: So if we're looking at overall expenditure side by side 164 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: per unit of time, walking at five k's won't spend 165 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: as many calories as jogging at ten k's, of course, 166 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: and it won't even expend the same amount of fat. 167 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: But what it will do is most of what you're 168 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: using when you're walking is fat, which is what people want. 169 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: What also it will do, which is something people don't 170 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,559 Speaker 1: either realize or understand or talk about much, is you 171 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: will lose less muscle walking. Now I'll shut up after this, 172 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: but this is just interesting. Look at the runners, the 173 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 1: people in the world of running who are muscly, how 174 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 1: far do they run? Kel the big musclie. 175 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 2: People, I dare say not far. 176 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred meetings one hundred meters, two hundred meters, 177 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,800 Speaker 1: they're starting to get smaller. You look at a dude 178 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: or dudet who runs hundreds, they're generally quite muscular, quite 179 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: powerful because it's pretty much an anaerobic event. There's not 180 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: a lot of oxygen required to sprint for nine or 181 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 1: ten or ten and a half seconds or whatever it is. 182 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: But then you look at somebody who's running fifteen hundred meters, well, 183 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 1: weighing one hundred kilos and being jacked and muscular and 184 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: big is not consistent with running a fast mile or 185 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: fifteen hundred. Then you look at the marathoners who might 186 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 1: be the same height like some of the African Ethiopian 187 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: you know, some of those runners who are just canyons 188 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: who are just beautiful, like amazing physiology, but they're six 189 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: foot tall and they weigh fifty five kilos, So they're 190 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: just light, powerful, hyper endurance running machines. Now, if you 191 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: got the same girl or guy who was that good 192 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,280 Speaker 1: a runner, and you went now do that with thirty 193 00:10:56,320 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: extra kilos, their best time would go from to ten 194 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: minutes to three hours and twenty minutes. So that was 195 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: a very long answer. I'll try and coep the future 196 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: one shorter. 197 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,200 Speaker 2: No, No, it's good. 198 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 3: It's good because, yeah, there is this rise at the 199 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 3: moment of making sure or kind of having a benchmark 200 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 3: of ten thousand steps, and I'm very curious as to 201 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 3: what the reasoning behind that was. So now I think 202 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 3: I'll just I'm going to order a weight vest off 203 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 3: Amazon so that I'm carrying around more weight and doing 204 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,359 Speaker 3: that same walk. But in all seriousness, that is beneficial 205 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 3: as well, isn't it hundred percent? 206 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, if you know, like it doesn't 207 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: matter what you weigh, that's not us. But let's say 208 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: you weigh sixty or let's let's use me, so I 209 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: weigh eighty, give or tape. Let's say I'm carrying twenty kilos. 210 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: Now I'm moving one hundred kilos through suburbia. I'm not 211 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: moving eighty, So that will be very similar in terms 212 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: of energy expenditure as if I weighed one hundred kilos. 213 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 1: But then one other thing maybe to talk about with steps, 214 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 1: right is people like gott to walk ten thousand steps, 215 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: got to walk ten thousand steps, you know, keep it 216 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: on your phone, keep it on your watch da da 217 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 1: da da da. Well, not if you're a bloke or 218 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: a girl working on a construction site, climbing ladders, carrying shit, 219 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 1: building shit, moving constantly. You might not be out directly 220 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,760 Speaker 1: taking step after step, but your movement, your incidental and 221 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: occupational activity they call it, is through the roof. So 222 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 1: old mate might walk a thousand steps at work, but 223 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: is built, is spent more energy or used more calories 224 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,199 Speaker 1: than everyone else who's been walking the whole time, because 225 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:50,120 Speaker 1: you know, so, I think the most the most relevant 226 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:54,440 Speaker 1: that piece of advice becomes, or the more relevant it becomes, 227 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: is when we're talking about people whose life otherwise incidental 228 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 1: and occupational is a low energy expenditure is somewhat you know, 229 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,840 Speaker 1: you know, not where they there's a lot of movement. 230 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: But for somebody who is like an eighteen year old 231 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: trade who's climbing up and down bloody scaffolding and ladders 232 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 1: and carrying shit and building shit and moving shit and 233 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 1: running to whatever all day, that dude probably needs to 234 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 1: walk zero extra steps per day. Yeah. 235 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, what you said before about habit versus obsession, I 236 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 3: do find that really interesting. So we've had a few 237 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 3: conversations where I was talking about like my fitness tracker watch, 238 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,080 Speaker 3: and I'd been very determined to get rid of it 239 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 3: because I'd set myself this number of this is the 240 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,439 Speaker 3: amount of calories I'm going to burn, this is you know, 241 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 3: the it was everything i'd set myself based on something 242 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 3: that I think I probably googled. And so every day 243 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I need to do this because I've 244 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 3: got this watch telling me that I'm need to do it, 245 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 3: and it was actually. 246 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 2: Giving me far more like it was quite unsettling. 247 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 3: It became very unsettling because I was constantly trying to 248 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 3: make a piece of technology happy, or you know, seek 249 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 3: this kind of form of approval from a piece of technology, 250 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 3: and that to me became I wouldn't say obsessive, but 251 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 3: it became way more than a habit. So over Christmas, 252 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,520 Speaker 3: I thought I'm not going to wear it anymore. And 253 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 3: the first couple of days I was like, but I 254 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 3: don't know how far off walked. I just don't know. 255 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 2: I feel like I've done enough, but I. 256 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 1: Just don't know. 257 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 2: So I ended up just getting this step tracker pure 258 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,160 Speaker 2: step tracker. 259 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 3: And the headspace that it relieved was incredible, and I 260 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 3: think what I'm finding is that it's far more beneficial 261 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 3: to be almost for me, kind of free ranging that 262 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 3: rather than try racking every single metric. 263 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 2: And the. 264 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 3: Really funny thing about that for me is that my 265 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 3: results at the moment are far better. 266 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, great, great, Well, the way that you're doing it 267 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: is I think the healthiest. If you can do it, 268 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: the people go to me. In fact, I recently got 269 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: asked this question trackers and apps and all that. Good 270 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: or bad? That's what I get asked, good or bad? 271 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: I go good and bad, which I know that's a 272 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 1: terrible answer depending on who's listening. But so here's the thing. 273 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: I wrote this in my first ever book. The difference 274 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: between habit and obsession is ones in control ones out 275 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: of control. Right, if we're talking about this type of stuff, 276 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: of course there can be negative, addictive habits they're out, 277 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: but we're talking about something that we're an operating system 278 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 1: that we're creating. And it's like I'm trying to do 279 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 1: or I'm doing ten thousands steps a day. But if 280 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: this day on whatever, I'm flying around Australia and I 281 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: get off a plane at eleven thirty at night and 282 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 1: I happened to do eight I'm not going to have 283 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: a mental breakdown because it wasn't that I was lazy 284 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: or I didn't try right. So I think in general terms, 285 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: you know, in the positive way, having help, having habits 286 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: that you built and created and designed and implemented incorporated, 287 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: you know, that's a positive thing. That's an in control thing, 288 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: that's a healthy thing, that's a logical thing. Whereas obsession 289 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: is emotional, habit is logical in the sense that we're 290 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: talking about it. And so. But one of the problems 291 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 1: with this or can be, is that we get like 292 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: when we get to our steps, it's almost like a relief, 293 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 1: and when we're not there, it's anxiety. And I see 294 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: that all the time and even down to like this 295 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: is digressing, but it's related. Like I've seen so many people, 296 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: not so much in recent times because I don't do 297 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:11,639 Speaker 1: this anymore, but over the years they come into the 298 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 1: gym and let's say we weigh them once a month. 299 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: I didn't weigh people very often, but twenty eight days, 300 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,439 Speaker 1: you know, and we do lots of testing other than that. 301 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 1: But I'm like, hey, feeling good. How I feel? Yeah, 302 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,400 Speaker 1: I feel strong, healthy, My energy is good. I'm sleeping good. 303 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: I'm definitely leaning at da da da da. And they 304 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: get on the scales and in a month they've lost 305 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: two hundred grams. Now, a minute ago they felt great, 306 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 1: They literally felt great mentally, emotionally, physically. Now they look 307 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: at the scales and they pretty much spiral. They don't 308 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: spiral because a bad thing happened. They don't spiral because 309 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 1: they they actually got a bad result, or they didn't 310 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: spiral because they feel sick or they're getting whit. No, 311 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: all the signs are great, except they have placed so 312 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: much value on this fucking but between their toes that 313 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: that has hijacked their happiness rather than understanding what that 314 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 1: means or might mean or doesn't mean. And then I 315 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,199 Speaker 1: would say to people, well, depending on when I was 316 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: at my stage of my journey, but I'd go so 317 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: in the mornings, I weigh about ninety k's and at 318 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: night I weigh about ninety four. And they're like, what, 319 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,920 Speaker 1: I go, yeah, because by the end of the day, 320 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 1: I've got food in my stomach, I've got fluid on 321 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,440 Speaker 1: board of this, I've got that I'm at least two 322 00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 1: two and a half kilos heavier, maybe three or four, right, 323 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: And I go, this does not. There's a point where 324 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: it matters depending on the person and their body composition 325 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: and where they are at. But for the average punt 326 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,360 Speaker 1: who's just on the journey and doing the things properly 327 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:55,640 Speaker 1: and doesn't have extremes like gaining a kilo or losing 328 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: two kilos, or up a few grams or down a 329 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 1: few grams, is not nearly as important as they think. 330 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: It's just that we've been trained and programmed and sometimes 331 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,280 Speaker 1: by ourselves to be obsessed with a particular number, and 332 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 1: that number between people's toes can literally ruin their day, 333 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: whereas if they felt exactly the same and the number 334 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: was a bit lower, they'd have a great day in 335 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: the same body. You know, I'd say to people, well, 336 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 1: you know, so there's a thing called body composition, and 337 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: that's what your body's actually made of. Also, by the way, 338 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: you might have lost a kilo a kilo and a 339 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: half of fat this month, but you've gained some muscle. 340 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 1: You maybe haven't had a wi this morning like you 341 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:43,760 Speaker 1: did last or whatever. But you know, body weight matters 342 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 1: to a level, but body composition is far more indicative 343 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: of health. You know. Well, but you know, if you 344 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: look at not that on the thing. But if you 345 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,439 Speaker 1: look at me, the world doesn't need to see this, 346 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 1: but just in pair of shorts and my top on 347 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: Lena's fakers at the moment, but I'm still qualifiers overweight, yeah, 348 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: based on the highlight thing. Right, So we've spoken about 349 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 1: that too much. 350 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, And so at the moment for me 351 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,920 Speaker 3: seeing a certain number on a particular day, I'd be. 352 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,920 Speaker 2: Like, oh my god, what have I done wrong? 353 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 3: Like, what is it that I ate that I probably 354 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 3: I can't eat that again because it's going to. 355 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 2: Make that spyke happen. 356 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 3: And then I've had this reframing of Okay, well, what 357 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 3: did I did I enjoy it? 358 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,359 Speaker 2: Did I did I even like? Did I overindulge? 359 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 3: Was it you know, potentially the wrong thing to put 360 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,880 Speaker 3: into my body? Or is it just you know, something 361 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 3: that wasn't an event? For instance, did I enjoy having 362 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 3: a meal with some friends and family? And then reframing 363 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 3: it in terms of what is that one day in 364 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,679 Speaker 3: amongst that average, because is that one day going to 365 00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 3: affect you know the rest of the month where everything 366 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 3: is pretty much spot on? And that has alleviated a 367 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 3: lot of my anxiety around it so looking more so, 368 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 3: as you say, like if it's a day where you're 369 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 3: busy and you get eight thousand versus ten thousand steps, Like, 370 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 3: I'm looking at it more so from the point of 371 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 3: view of what's the average over the week, and is 372 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,239 Speaker 3: my average still you know where it should be? And 373 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 3: if so, then I'm quite happy with that. If not, 374 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 3: am I going to keep kicking myself about it? No, 375 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,919 Speaker 3: because I know that I'm doing the work and also 376 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 3: to learning about like I thought I had a pretty 377 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,439 Speaker 3: good handle on calories macros right, but then having it 378 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 3: explained in terms of how certain carbs are going to 379 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 3: help a workout. 380 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,360 Speaker 2: So if I know that I want to reach. 381 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 3: A different weight the next day, like lifting certain weight 382 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,480 Speaker 3: the next day, what do I need to fuel my 383 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,120 Speaker 3: body with? 384 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,080 Speaker 2: So that reframe as well, and I find that that is. 385 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 3: Far more healthier than I've ever been in terms of 386 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 3: thinking about what goes in and then how I then 387 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 3: use my body in a way that. 388 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 2: For me feels fit and strong. Yeah, and that is Yeah, 389 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:10,639 Speaker 2: I think. 390 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,680 Speaker 3: It all just purely started with you know, I'm not 391 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 3: going to have this thing beeping on. 392 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 2: My wrist anymore. 393 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 3: That's controlling, you know, whether or not I'm smiling at 394 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 3: something or feeling shit about something. 395 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think also that's very good insight and 396 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:36,440 Speaker 1: self awareness. I think also trying to understand that your 397 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: body is one of one, like we intellectually know that. 398 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 1: So even when your dietitian slash nutritionnus whatever slash Craig 399 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: Harper slash whoever is giving you some kind of direction 400 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:53,040 Speaker 1: or advice, or we are all having an educated guess, 401 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I've written thousands and 402 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: thousands of exercise programs, and I know you pretty well, 403 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: but I don't know a lot, right, like I don't 404 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 1: know a lot of things about you. And so if 405 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: you said, you know this, who I am, this sort 406 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 1: of way, this is what I know, this, how I look, 407 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,280 Speaker 1: This is how my back works or my bloody legs 408 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: don't work, or my body is great, but my lower 409 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 1: body's got no flexible or whatever it is. You give 410 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: me all this information, then you tell me what you 411 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: want to be your goals. And then based on all 412 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 1: of the data that you give me, which is also 413 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,919 Speaker 1: a subjective interpretation of what you think is going on 414 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: in your body, it's still not fucking science, right, it's 415 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: still because your body and your interpretation is wrapped in 416 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:47,439 Speaker 1: emotion and logic and illogic, and it's still the Kelly 417 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,960 Speaker 1: story about her body. Right. So then on top of that, 418 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 1: then I go, all right, well, based on that and 419 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,359 Speaker 1: based on the equipment you've got available here at SNAP 420 00:23:55,400 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 1: five one five fucking Bluff Road, Hampton East. You're welcome, blood, 421 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:06,239 Speaker 1: I mean you welcome SNAP. Then then I write your 422 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:10,680 Speaker 1: program and it could be the perfect program, very unlikely. 423 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: It could be really fucking good, or it might not 424 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 1: be so good. So all of the time we are 425 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: trying to understand our body and our emotions and our psychology. 426 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 1: And I think one of the problems that we one 427 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,879 Speaker 1: of the mistakes that we make. I'm globalizing here everyone, 428 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,880 Speaker 1: so this may not be you, but is that we 429 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 1: outsource decisions for our own fucking body. When your body's 430 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: going hey, dumbass, listen to me, or your nervous systems going, Kelly, 431 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: I am fucking telling you what creates anxiety because when 432 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 1: you do this, I'm going nuts over here. And the 433 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 1: information's there, right, we might not always understand it, but 434 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: we have it. And so I think using people who 435 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 1: are in inverted Comma's experts is something that should be 436 00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 1: done cautionarily, with caution. That's me too, including you know too. 437 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,520 Speaker 1: Or I did a podcast yesterday with Bobby about like 438 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: should we actually give advice at all? 439 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 3: Right? 440 00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,160 Speaker 1: This is a whole fucking cannon. Should you give it? Yeah? 441 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 1: Why should you? When should you? Did they want it? 442 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 1: Did they ask for it? Do you understand the total context? 443 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,639 Speaker 1: Like maybe you're seeing the tip of the iceberg and 444 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 1: you think that's the problem or the issue or the challenge, 445 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: But it's fucking six miles of iceberg below the surface 446 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: that you can't see, right, So all of this, and 447 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,440 Speaker 1: this is my passion around all of this, even around 448 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 1: the body, even around health, even around training. Is you 449 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 1: trying to understand you, You're trying to learn how to 450 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: operate you. And I'm going to sound like an old 451 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 1: fuck here, but and this is a purely a personal preference, 452 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: but I wish young people would try it. Fuck off 453 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,879 Speaker 1: your apps, fuck off your phone, fuck off all that 454 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 1: in terms of this process, and just write stuff in 455 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:59,360 Speaker 1: a book, do it for six months, get a spiral 456 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 1: bound like I've I've got one right here as you 457 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 1: can kind of see. Nope, No, anyway. 458 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 2: Yet there. 459 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 1: I used them my whole life, where I just write 460 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: down thoughts, feelings, ideas, and then I can flick back, 461 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 1: you know, like there's something different to me from scrolling 462 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 1: to last Tuesday's steps and going all right, I did 463 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 1: eleven thirty eight or three eighty or whatever it was right, 464 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,359 Speaker 1: but opening last tuesdays and it's going Oh. I woke 465 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:33,399 Speaker 1: up at six, I felt fucked. I felt tired. I 466 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,760 Speaker 1: got out of bed. I had a coffee at six thirty. 467 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:40,360 Speaker 1: I did some coaching at seven, I was back home. 468 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,720 Speaker 1: At age fifteen, I had this for Brecky. I trained 469 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 1: at this time. I did this workout at this intensity. 470 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: I felt fucking amazing. I did this many steps that day. 471 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: I went to bed at this time. I ate this 472 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,879 Speaker 1: for food. Of this food for dinner or for lunch, 473 00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:58,719 Speaker 1: or I took these supplements. I drank this water. I 474 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,199 Speaker 1: had two coffees. Now I've got a hold, not just 475 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: that's on stepping, not just and not only have I 476 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:10,160 Speaker 1: got all of this information, I've also got how I felt. 477 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:15,760 Speaker 1: Because changing your body is a feeling process or an 478 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:20,280 Speaker 1: emotional process, and a psychological process and a physical process. 479 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,400 Speaker 1: But what we're doing when we're just plugging numbers into 480 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: a phone is just fucking stats and data. And I 481 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: like the idea of looking at my writing on a page. 482 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,840 Speaker 1: I can even tell by my writing how I was going. 483 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, am I writing? I was fucked? You know? 484 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,400 Speaker 1: So that's my and of course that's just my thoughts everybody. 485 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,840 Speaker 1: That's not what anyone should necessarily do. But I think 486 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: but the thing is with that too. Let's say you 487 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: do a twenty eight day trial of that where you've 488 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,400 Speaker 1: got a spiral bound little pad or whatever. I would 489 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,639 Speaker 1: say a four size to be honest, just so you 490 00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:01,640 Speaker 1: can get a whole day on there. Do it enthusiastically 491 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: rather than gonn ah, fuck, this is a thing I've 492 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 1: got to do for twenty eight days, because no, if 493 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 1: you do it that, then don't start. But I diorized 494 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,800 Speaker 1: all of my training, all of my sleep, all of 495 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: my food, all of my fluid intake, my supplements, my vitamins, 496 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,960 Speaker 1: my injuries, my energy levels from when I was eighteen 497 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 1: to when I was about thirty five, so whatever, seventeen 498 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,560 Speaker 1: years right, And people go, oh, you're obsessed. I go, no, 499 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 1: I'm curious. I'm fucking If I said to you do 500 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: you want to understand your body? Really well, everyone's going 501 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: to no, one's going to go no, I don't now, 502 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: I don't. Well, you're a dumbass. Why the fuck don't 503 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 1: you want to? You can't get a new one? Do 504 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: you want to understand how your body responds to different 505 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 1: stimuli and processes? Write that shit down and just go oh, 506 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: when I do this, when I go to bed at 507 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: that time, when I get up at that time, when 508 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 1: I have a coffee after six, I'm fucked. I can't sleep, 509 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: So don't do that. Also, I don't know why, but 510 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 1: I seem to be stronger between eleven am and two 511 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 1: pm than I am from fucking five to seven pm. 512 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: So maybe when I feel the strongest, if I can, 513 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: as we're not, I'll try. So you're kind of doing 514 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 1: a PhD in kelly yourself. 515 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 516 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 3: Interestingly I read a similar version of that just the 517 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 3: other day, and it was advice from a writer, and 518 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,719 Speaker 3: it was pretty much exactly what you've just said. And 519 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 3: so he would he took note of when he felt 520 00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 3: like he was at his best performing, and so he documented. 521 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,959 Speaker 3: You know, in the mornings, I'd be doing this and 522 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 3: then I would go and do this, and he said 523 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 3: it helped me to figure out what was going to 524 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 3: be the best rhythm of productivity for me. 525 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 2: But the process took him a few months. 526 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 3: And I find it quite interesting that that was the 527 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 3: advice that came from a writer, and out of that 528 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 3: he published his first book. 529 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,920 Speaker 2: M Yeah, really. 530 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: Well, I mean and again again, for some people, the 531 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 1: apps work perfectly, so ignore the fuck out of me 532 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 1: if you're using an app and it's working, and then 533 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: do that. But I also think I think it's in 534 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,720 Speaker 1: our interest to try to understand how our body works, 535 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 1: and maybe to go and go and read about the 536 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: nervous system for half an hour, just the nervous system, 537 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: not your nervous system, but how does it work? Like 538 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: I remember when I was young, I spent a week 539 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: and this sounds like so low key. I would have 540 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,520 Speaker 1: been twenty five when we didn't have the internet and 541 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 1: shit was hard to get a hold of. But I 542 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: just studied the brain for a week, which just trying 543 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,200 Speaker 1: to go, ah, what are the bits of the brain called, 544 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 1: what is the prefrontal cortext do? What does the amigdala do? 545 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 1: You know? What does this do? What does that do? 546 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: And just trying to go okay, and I've got one 547 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: of those, and what happens when I'm tired? And what 548 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 1: happens when by the way, what is my brain run on? Oh? Glucose? Okay? 549 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: And by the way, how much energy does my brain 550 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: use over a day? Well, twenty percent of all your energy? Fuck? 551 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,840 Speaker 1: And the hell you know, like there's and then you 552 00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:18,440 Speaker 1: can just go, oh, you can start to understand your 553 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:23,400 Speaker 1: own brain and your own cognitive kind of state because 554 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 1: you now understand a little bit more about the brain. 555 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: Like and we're still learning. Do you remember that thing 556 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 1: that hubanman He didn't discover it, but he started talking 557 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:37,120 Speaker 1: about a year or two ago, which is called the 558 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:42,080 Speaker 1: the am Yeah, AMCC. I've got to remember the words 559 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,680 Speaker 1: and then the acronym. Have you heard about the AMCC 560 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: anterior mid singulate cortex. 561 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:47,600 Speaker 2: No I haven't. 562 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 1: Oh, we'll fucking strap in. So the AMCC is a 563 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: part of the brain that actually grows, like physically grows. 564 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: It gets bigger when you do that you don't like doing, 565 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 1: but you need to do right right, So it actually 566 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,400 Speaker 1: so let's say, and it could be like I've just 567 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: done three sets of lap pools in the gym, for you, Kelly, 568 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,480 Speaker 1: I've done three sets of lap poles of what last 569 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: one was really hard. I'm fucked, and I go, cool, 570 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 1: do a fourth, and you're like, fuck you, I don't 571 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: want to do a fourth. I go, yeah, cool, I 572 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: know you don't, but do a fourth and you're like, 573 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,200 Speaker 1: I really don't. Like I actually don't. I'm tired. I've 574 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 1: had a big day and I'm like ah, and you go, 575 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: fuck you and you do the fourth. 576 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 3: Right. 577 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: That's an example of doing something that you know. I'm 578 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 1: not talking about let's get injured. I'm just talking about 579 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 1: let's go to I'm tired and I like, cool, so 580 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 1: do something hard. It's going to last sixty seconds, probably 581 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 1: won't die, probably won't get injured. And a little example 582 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,600 Speaker 1: of that for me is last night I was really tired. 583 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 1: I went downstairs so I sleep live upstairs. I went 584 00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: downstairs to the kitchen to do something. I'll get some 585 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: and I realized that i'd a not a It's only me, 586 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,160 Speaker 1: so it's not like it's a thousand, But I had 587 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: about five or six dishes, right, and I'm like, I 588 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: will soak those and I will clean those in the morning, 589 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: and then fucking I hate being these sometimes then amcc 590 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 1: boy is like, no, you won't. You'll wash them. You'll 591 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 1: you'll run some hot water, you'll get some lick, some soap, 592 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: you'll fill up the fucking sink. You'll wash them properly, 593 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: you'll dry them properly. Then you'll put them away, and 594 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,320 Speaker 1: then you'll take the dish rack off and you'll wipe everything. 595 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: Then you'll dry and everything, so it looks like a 596 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,719 Speaker 1: fucking showroom. And that's what I did, and I just 597 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 1: didn't want to. I didn't want to. But it's in that, 598 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: can I digress, I'll shut up after this, And it's 599 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:53,959 Speaker 1: in that doing of the the hard things I believe. 600 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,240 Speaker 1: I don't mean lifting a heavyweight, because some people lifting 601 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 1: a heavyweight is fun, so you don't get this particular 602 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 1: bend effit that I'm talking about. Right, some people that 603 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,680 Speaker 1: hate doing squats, they'll do everything in the gym, but 604 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:08,720 Speaker 1: they won't put a weight on their back and do squats. 605 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 1: I'm not saying everyone should do squats, but when you go, fuck, 606 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,759 Speaker 1: I'm going to squat once a week. I don't want 607 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: to hate it. They suck. I don't think I'm very 608 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,279 Speaker 1: good at and blah blah, blah all that. Well, then 609 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,120 Speaker 1: that's where you start to get this type of benefit. 610 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 1: And I was listening to a podcast. Do you know 611 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: who Alex Hanald is the climber corn So he is 612 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 1: considered by most to be the best climber in the world, 613 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 1: and he he has climbed the toughest. He's probably the 614 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,000 Speaker 1: one person who's done most of the you would call impossible, 615 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,719 Speaker 1: in impossible for the average human, climbs like El Capitan, 616 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,759 Speaker 1: which is in I think it's Insemite, which is I'm 617 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 1: going to get the numbers wrong, but it's something like 618 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,760 Speaker 1: two thousand or two and a half thousand feet straight 619 00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,800 Speaker 1: fucking up. It's like climbing. It's like timbing the wall 620 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:05,759 Speaker 1: of your bedroom. It's like it's straight up right. And 621 00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 1: then he was talking to Stephen Bartlett, who does Diary 622 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 1: of CEO. Shout out to him. He's, oh, gladly give 623 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,359 Speaker 1: him a shout out. Good podcast, a good podcast. And 624 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 1: he was talking about, you know, like the sacrifice of 625 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,440 Speaker 1: all these things he did, like he lived in a 626 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,680 Speaker 1: van from when he was nineteen to thirty thirty years, 627 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,240 Speaker 1: eleven years and all he did was, you know, climb. 628 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,959 Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, you did all these horrible things 629 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,279 Speaker 1: and hard things, and they started talking about the AMCC 630 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,759 Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, but what you don't understand is 631 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: for me, that's joy, you know. For me, that's what 632 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,560 Speaker 1: is hard for me is coming into the city and 633 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,480 Speaker 1: putting on a fucking suit and tie and going to 634 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:55,360 Speaker 1: talk to some corporates. Like that's for him a horror story, 635 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:59,440 Speaker 1: you know. So it's like we get this cognitive benefit 636 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:03,120 Speaker 1: when we do something which for someone else might seem 637 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,520 Speaker 1: easy or convenient, but for you it's like, no, fuck, 638 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,319 Speaker 1: I hate doing this. Like I would say, for you, 639 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:15,240 Speaker 1: part of your cognitive growth doing these with me, starting 640 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: from the girl lady who's never done one to be 641 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 1: the lady who has now been on here unteen times. 642 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: And I can tell in you the thing that used 643 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:31,040 Speaker 1: to stress you doesn't stress you as much. I don't 644 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,320 Speaker 1: know what your individual response is, but it might have 645 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 1: been somewhere in the ballpark of a ten, and right now, 646 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: in this moment, you're probably sitting closer to a one 647 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 1: than a ten. 648 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 3: AM I correct, absolutely, And even in terms of speaking 649 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,400 Speaker 3: in front of people as well, Like we've had conversations 650 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:51,360 Speaker 3: where I've been asked to present to rooms of leaders 651 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:52,520 Speaker 3: at work and things like that. 652 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,520 Speaker 2: And I was sweating so much that I thought I 653 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,839 Speaker 2: was going to you know, it's going to roll down 654 00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 2: the sleeve of my arm. 655 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 3: And now it's I can absolutely reframe that and it 656 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 3: doesn't terrify me as much. Like I think I've still 657 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:12,760 Speaker 3: got a very healthy level of nerves, and that's because it's. 658 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,280 Speaker 2: Something that matters. 659 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:21,800 Speaker 3: And yeah, I find it slightly easier and certainly talking 660 00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,480 Speaker 3: in front of a lot of people, because even that 661 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:26,879 Speaker 3: would terrify me. Like i could be in a room 662 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,440 Speaker 3: full of people that I've known for quite some time 663 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 3: and you know, people would suddenly start listening to what 664 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 3: I was saying and I'd be like, oh, everyone's. 665 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,839 Speaker 2: Looking this is this isn't comfortable at all. 666 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,319 Speaker 3: And now it's like, okay, well I feel a bit 667 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,399 Speaker 3: more at ease with that. 668 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,160 Speaker 1: So yes, yeah, yeah, And I think the challenge in 669 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:51,040 Speaker 1: the middle of all like so many things where we think, oh, 670 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,160 Speaker 1: I've got to change this about my life, or I've 671 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 1: got to change this about my body, or I've got 672 00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 1: to change this about my bank account, I've got to 673 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: change this about my relationship and ships. I've got to like, 674 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,239 Speaker 1: we look at all of these external things. But the 675 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 1: thing that we've really got to change. 676 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 2: Is us, absolutely, And when. 677 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 1: I change, when you change, you, when you are now, 678 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,600 Speaker 1: when your default setting is, oh, Kelly, let's use the 679 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,280 Speaker 1: metaphor of a mountain. Kelly can go and climb that mountain. 680 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,959 Speaker 1: And she's not nervous about it. She's not exhausted, she's 681 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 1: not terrified halfway up the mountain because she's climbed at 682 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,759 Speaker 1: the mountain. She's climbed the mountain. She's progressed. She's started here, 683 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,439 Speaker 1: she worked to two, then three, then four, and now 684 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 1: she's got skills and knowledge and courage and understanding and 685 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:43,759 Speaker 1: insight and all of this stuff. Where the mountain is 686 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:48,799 Speaker 1: the same, the task is the same, the environment is 687 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:53,280 Speaker 1: the same, but you're different. And without anything about the mountain, 688 00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 1: be that a literal or metaphoric mountain, without anything about 689 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: the mountain changing because you different. Now your relationship with, 690 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:08,799 Speaker 1: experience with and respond to the mountain is different, and 691 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,879 Speaker 1: you change nothing except you. 692 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,600 Speaker 2: Oh it's wild, isn't it? 693 00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,280 Speaker 3: And I think so the other day you were talking 694 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,360 Speaker 3: about how you don't have to always keep pushing up 695 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:23,560 Speaker 3: the hill because life is also swings and roundabouts, and 696 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,800 Speaker 3: what I took from that is you can be always 697 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:31,000 Speaker 3: like pushing for something next, right like whether it's you know, 698 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:32,440 Speaker 3: you want to you want to do more steps, you 699 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 3: want to lift a heavier weight, you want to lose weight, 700 00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 3: you want to learn more, you want to think differently. 701 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,200 Speaker 3: But there's going to be times when you've got to 702 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 3: pause because something else in life is happening. And so 703 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,880 Speaker 3: in amongst all of the things that have been happening 704 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 3: at the moment with my nan, like I'm her kind 705 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,239 Speaker 3: of key person, I'm her primary care basically, so there's 706 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 3: been a lot of admin around that, and I thought, 707 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:59,000 Speaker 3: I've got to focus on what it is that I 708 00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:04,000 Speaker 3: can control within MySpace while I'm not actively pushing up 709 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,239 Speaker 3: that hill. And so when you said what you did 710 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,720 Speaker 3: the other day, I'm like, Okay, that makes absolute sense. 711 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:11,480 Speaker 3: Because if you're on say the swings all the roundabout 712 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:15,239 Speaker 3: its metaphor, it can be going up and down, and 713 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 3: that's fine. 714 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 2: Because of all the work that you've put in. 715 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,319 Speaker 3: It's not actually changing anything about your progress. It's just 716 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:27,799 Speaker 3: taking the focus off it for the moment. Yeah, So 717 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,120 Speaker 3: I thought that is you know, if we're talking quite 718 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,279 Speaker 3: literally about the U project, that for me was like 719 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 3: it was such a light bulb moment of Yeah, things 720 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,440 Speaker 3: are always you're going to have those moments of it 721 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 3: being up and down, but depending on the work that 722 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 3: you've already put in, it's not going to change your 723 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:49,000 Speaker 3: progress and then eventually the swing will stop and you 724 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 3: can start the bush again. 725 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I think also like when we're aiming for something, 726 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,800 Speaker 1: chasing something, trying to create an outcome. So I'm writing 727 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,239 Speaker 1: this down because I'm thinking this through in real time. 728 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,280 Speaker 1: This is how much I don't prepare. Well, I couldn't 729 00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:06,719 Speaker 1: because I didn't know what you're going to ask. But 730 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,040 Speaker 1: we talk about So I've written on my page goal, 731 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,960 Speaker 1: there's the thing that we want. Then I've written underneath goal, 732 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,360 Speaker 1: I've got a circle around goal, and then an arrow 733 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 1: down to the word story. We all have a story 734 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,839 Speaker 1: about what happens when I get the goal, and it's 735 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: always something good. Right, Yeah, I'm my self esteem will 736 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 1: be great because now I'm in shape. My confidence will 737 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 1: be greater because now I've got fifty thousand followers, not 738 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:40,200 Speaker 1: five my you know fill in the blank. And I 739 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 1: think that is the expectation that we have, or the 740 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 1: belief that we have tied into a theoretical does not 741 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:54,200 Speaker 1: yet exist outcome. And then I would say, how many 742 00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 1: times have you achieved a goal or done a thing 743 00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,400 Speaker 1: that you wanted to do and did not have the 744 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:06,840 Speaker 1: subsequent subsequent emotional or psychological or broadly speaking, internal shift, 745 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,600 Speaker 1: And most of us would go nearly every time. It 746 00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:15,239 Speaker 1: might have been temporarily better. But then, you know, if 747 00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:20,359 Speaker 1: we talk about satisfaction and contentment, very few people are 748 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,960 Speaker 1: actually content. And you go, oh, yeah, but if I 749 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,960 Speaker 1: do this, change that, own that earn that, get that 750 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:29,919 Speaker 1: I will be I doubt it. I doubt it, Which 751 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,560 Speaker 1: is not to say getting earning, having owning, achieving is bad, 752 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:36,080 Speaker 1: of course not. But I've never got to the point 753 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,719 Speaker 1: where I think, oh yeah, I've got it, sort it out, 754 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 1: and I'm I'm content. I will never want anything else. 755 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,280 Speaker 1: I am fulfilled. I am fucking hell, I have figured 756 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,319 Speaker 1: it out. Hey, world, eyes to me, listen the fuck up. 757 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,640 Speaker 1: You know it's no you're a human like you're going 758 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,399 Speaker 1: to get there and go, oh fuck here, I don't 759 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,279 Speaker 1: want to be here. I thought I wanted to be here, 760 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:01,840 Speaker 1: you know. And then then what's interesting is interesting is 761 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:05,200 Speaker 1: to go, what is that about? What is the psychological 762 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 1: or emotional or spiritual thing that I really want but 763 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: don't know that I want it or really need while 764 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:14,799 Speaker 1: I think I want something else. Like this is when 765 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,960 Speaker 1: we start to get hold on kel. It's about to 766 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 1: get fucking deep. This is when we start to get 767 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:25,560 Speaker 1: past goal setting and personal growth and you know, human 768 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 1: performance and all of that stuff is good because that's 769 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,799 Speaker 1: part of who we are. But also, do you and 770 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,279 Speaker 1: me and every one of our listeners know someone who 771 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:37,640 Speaker 1: you would go fuck and how They're a stud, they're 772 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:42,120 Speaker 1: a superstar, they're successful, and they're miserable as fuck, Yet 773 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,520 Speaker 1: none of them want to be miserable outside looking in 774 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:54,120 Speaker 1: all shiny and successy inside overthinking self doubt, paranoia, depression, anxiety, medication, 775 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:58,759 Speaker 1: darkness not light, and you go, dude, you're chasing the 776 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,799 Speaker 1: wrong things or you look for the right solutions in 777 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 1: the wrong places. And this is opening a door on 778 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:10,319 Speaker 1: real high level self understanding and awareness and consciousness where 779 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:13,680 Speaker 1: we start to question our own beliefs about what will 780 00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:18,719 Speaker 1: fix me, what will make me happy. You know, when 781 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:22,000 Speaker 1: I was and I don't say this to you know, 782 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:25,040 Speaker 1: but when I was young thirty, I was way more 783 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,560 Speaker 1: successful financially commercially da da da da than I thought 784 00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,359 Speaker 1: I would ever be in my entire life. And I 785 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,640 Speaker 1: was thirty, and I'm like, well, how did this happen? 786 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,799 Speaker 1: And why do I still feel like dogshit? And why 787 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,000 Speaker 1: am I insecure when I have that and known that 788 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,640 Speaker 1: and earned that and got a profile and I've got 789 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,480 Speaker 1: all these things, I've got all these shits, And how 790 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,080 Speaker 1: come in the middle of all of my shit? And 791 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 1: again just my experience, but I know I was. I 792 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:56,040 Speaker 1: definitely remember thinking back when I was twenty and I 793 00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,160 Speaker 1: was working in pubs four nights a week, I'm getting 794 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,239 Speaker 1: punched in the face for twelve dollars an hour, and 795 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:04,160 Speaker 1: I was working in gyms for someone else, and I 796 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,360 Speaker 1: was on a wage, and I had mates and we 797 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,120 Speaker 1: did dumb shit and my girlfriends and we just life 798 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 1: was just fun. And I'm like, I definitely remember. And 799 00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:15,200 Speaker 1: that's not to say one or the other. That was 800 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,440 Speaker 1: just my story. It's like I was in a situation 801 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:23,320 Speaker 1: that no one would aspire to, perhaps like my practical 802 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 1: reality of my world. I had a shit car, had 803 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,200 Speaker 1: a shit motorbike. I didn't own a house. Every week 804 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,840 Speaker 1: I'd make you know, four more dollars than I needed 805 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,879 Speaker 1: to survive and in the middle of that happiest shit 806 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:38,839 Speaker 1: and then you go and now I've a gieved all 807 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:42,120 Speaker 1: these fucking amazing things, and I yeah, so I think, 808 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,799 Speaker 1: and I don't have a single answer to that. I 809 00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,640 Speaker 1: just think, fuck, that is an interesting phenomenon. You know, 810 00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:50,880 Speaker 1: let's what is that about for me? What is that 811 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 1: about for you? And it's like, what do you want 812 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:54,880 Speaker 1: to be when you're forty well you know? And then 813 00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:56,439 Speaker 1: you go, well, why do you want to be it? 814 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,960 Speaker 1: And do you really want to be it? And then 815 00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:05,719 Speaker 1: if you do you get there? What then. 816 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:06,719 Speaker 3: Who knows? 817 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,120 Speaker 2: That's why I kind of think. 818 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,839 Speaker 3: When I was planning for my holiday last year, there 819 00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:17,239 Speaker 3: was these things I was reading and someone said, sometimes 820 00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 3: it's in the planning and the anticipation and the looking 821 00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:25,879 Speaker 3: forward to that it's far more rewarding and far more 822 00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,319 Speaker 3: exciting than the actual getting there and the doing and 823 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 3: the scene. And it's like having you know, you've got 824 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,040 Speaker 3: something marked in your calendar of Hey, I've got this 825 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 3: to look forward to, and there's all of this time 826 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,319 Speaker 3: in between that I'm going to be doing whatever it 827 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,160 Speaker 3: is I'm doing, but I've got this thing here to 828 00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 3: look forward to and at the moment for me, because 829 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:50,160 Speaker 3: I do feel I feel really good within myself physically. 830 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,319 Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, well, I know that I'm still doing 831 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:54,520 Speaker 3: this kind of challenge thing for another couple of weeks, 832 00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,319 Speaker 3: but I don't even care anymore. I don't care what 833 00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,280 Speaker 3: the end result is because I know my thing thinking 834 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:04,600 Speaker 3: around it has changed and that is giving me this 835 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:10,160 Speaker 3: internal sense of achievement already and I haven't even got 836 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:11,000 Speaker 3: to where. 837 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,719 Speaker 2: The you know, the arbitrary goal is. So the reframe 838 00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:19,640 Speaker 2: of the doing being the reward. 839 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,840 Speaker 3: Like, I'm finding that's working for me and it's keeping 840 00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 3: me consistent, and it's something that. 841 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:27,200 Speaker 2: It's just working for me. 842 00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:30,319 Speaker 3: Something is clipped over around my brain that's saying the 843 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,680 Speaker 3: doing is the reward, not the end goal. It's going 844 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,880 Speaker 3: to be a number or this or that, And I 845 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,560 Speaker 3: don't know, maybe maybe that's maybe there's something in there. 846 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely A couple of things come to mind when 847 00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:47,240 Speaker 1: you say that. One is how people get excited about 848 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,400 Speaker 1: a holiday for a year. And this part this couple 849 00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:51,719 Speaker 1: talk about where we're going to do it and what 850 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,160 Speaker 1: we're going to look see that, and then we'll go 851 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,319 Speaker 1: and see that we'll stay in this joint and I mean, 852 00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:57,839 Speaker 1: tell them why we're going to France in Mapril next year. 853 00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,759 Speaker 1: I mean, and which is great. They go and they 854 00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:05,000 Speaker 1: almost fucking hate it because it's not as good as 855 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:08,520 Speaker 1: the idea. It's like, ah, the food kind of sucks. 856 00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:13,239 Speaker 1: The guy that served us was a prick. It's hot 857 00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:17,480 Speaker 1: as fuck or whatever. Like, sometimes it's great, sometimes it's not. 858 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: There's the idea of what we're going to do, and 859 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:21,879 Speaker 1: then there's the thing that we're going to do, and 860 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:27,160 Speaker 1: sometimes you know that aligns and sometimes it doesn't. But 861 00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:32,520 Speaker 1: another thing that came to mind was, so what if 862 00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:38,880 Speaker 1: we just said to ourselves, like, oh, some days I'm 863 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,480 Speaker 1: going to have a shit day and that's fine. Some 864 00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:43,680 Speaker 1: days I'm going to be sad. That's fine, because that's 865 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:46,279 Speaker 1: what humans do. You know. Some days I'm going to 866 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,200 Speaker 1: be happy as fuck. I might not even know why 867 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: I'm so happy today. And sometimes I'm going to get disappointed. 868 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,480 Speaker 1: And sometimes I'm going to win, sometimes I'm going to lose. 869 00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:57,000 Speaker 1: And in the middle of all of those human experiences, 870 00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,400 Speaker 1: I'll just try and navigate and I'll just try and 871 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:03,120 Speaker 1: have the best mindset that I can. I'll try and 872 00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,520 Speaker 1: self regulate as well as I can. Like, you've been 873 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,719 Speaker 1: going through stuff with Nan, who you love, and it's 874 00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,960 Speaker 1: some of it sucks, some of it's fucking horrible. It's 875 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,440 Speaker 1: not where you want to be, how you want to be, 876 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,560 Speaker 1: it's not how you want her to be. It's it's 877 00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,560 Speaker 1: all the things. But also there's a knowing you can't 878 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:23,640 Speaker 1: control it. It's just happening. So in that instance, we 879 00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,799 Speaker 1: resign ourselves and we go all right, well, this is 880 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,279 Speaker 1: in some shape or form inevitable, So how do I 881 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:33,440 Speaker 1: be of service to Nan? How do I love her? 882 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:38,360 Speaker 1: How do I mentally, emotionally practically love her? And you 883 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:41,560 Speaker 1: just all of a sudden, you're like, oh, wow, I 884 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 1: might have six months with her that I didn't think 885 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,520 Speaker 1: I would have, or a year or whatever it is, 886 00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,799 Speaker 1: and you're just grateful. You're just grateful for something that 887 00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,440 Speaker 1: you were never truly grateful for because she was always 888 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,440 Speaker 1: just there, you know. So I think there's you know, 889 00:49:54,640 --> 00:50:00,839 Speaker 1: context and reframing. And I remember recently, I can't remember 890 00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:02,520 Speaker 1: what day, but in the last three weeks I had 891 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:05,239 Speaker 1: a day where I was fucking sad, and I'm like, wow, 892 00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:08,600 Speaker 1: I don't get sad. I'm Craig Harper, and I'm like, 893 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,920 Speaker 1: I don't get sad. What the fuck is wrong with me? 894 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:15,240 Speaker 1: I was flat? And Melissa rang me and I go, fuck, 895 00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,160 Speaker 1: I'm flat. She's like really, I go and she was 896 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,840 Speaker 1: like you, I'm like me, I'm flat as fuck. I 897 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,080 Speaker 1: feel sad. I don't talk to anyone. People are ringing me, 898 00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:29,359 Speaker 1: I'm not answering, and I'm like, oh, okay, so this 899 00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:32,440 Speaker 1: is new, this is new. I don't know what was 900 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:35,640 Speaker 1: going on. I still don't know. I think I suspect 901 00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,239 Speaker 1: a bit of unling, underlying stuff with mum and dad 902 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,160 Speaker 1: and a few issues and PhD and getting shit done, 903 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,520 Speaker 1: taking a few bucks and you know, personally trying to 904 00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:50,239 Speaker 1: fucking get healthy, and it's all the things, and it's 905 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,520 Speaker 1: Tuesday and you feel like shit. So there you go, 906 00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:56,600 Speaker 1: sham Tuesday, feeling shit. I'm like Roger that so and 907 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,160 Speaker 1: the next day quite a bit better. Next day, brand new, 908 00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,120 Speaker 1: happy as fucked. I don't know why I didn't do 909 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:05,520 Speaker 1: anything in particular, but I think the goal of being 910 00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:07,720 Speaker 1: happy may not be the best goal. 911 00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:09,400 Speaker 2: No. 912 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,799 Speaker 1: I think the goal of just navigating life successfully and 913 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:16,399 Speaker 1: if you're happy, great, If you're sad, that's Okay. If 914 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:20,880 Speaker 1: you're confused, that's cool. If you're clear, that's cool. Also, 915 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:26,240 Speaker 1: for God's sake, stop needing to be right. Stop needing 916 00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,720 Speaker 1: to be right, stop needing to win arguments and conversations, 917 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,920 Speaker 1: Stop needing to show the world some form of how 918 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:34,719 Speaker 1: good you are. 919 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I'm so glad you said that. 920 00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,359 Speaker 1: If you're good, we're going to fucking know, Champ. The 921 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,759 Speaker 1: more you tell me how good you are, the less 922 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:47,319 Speaker 1: I believe you. So fucking shush one and two, just 923 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,400 Speaker 1: do you blue boom, We'll get it. 924 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so glad you said that, because in a 925 00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:56,640 Speaker 3: month's kind of feeling as though so many different elements 926 00:51:56,640 --> 00:52:00,560 Speaker 3: have been spinning out of control. Like I will very 927 00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,919 Speaker 3: honestly put my hand up and say I've been such 928 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:06,160 Speaker 3: a little shit with wanting to be right, because it's 929 00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,759 Speaker 3: coming from this place of well, if I'm right, then 930 00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,800 Speaker 3: I'm in control of that, and that means that there's 931 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:17,319 Speaker 3: something that is still moving in the right way. And 932 00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:19,920 Speaker 3: you know, it means that I'm in control of that, 933 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:23,000 Speaker 3: and it means that I know something, and it means that, yeah, 934 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:28,080 Speaker 3: I'm good. But then it's like, stop talking, stop trying 935 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,080 Speaker 3: to prove something. You're actually coming across as a bit 936 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:34,120 Speaker 3: of an asshole. So maybe just take a step back 937 00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:36,080 Speaker 3: and let someone else talk. 938 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,960 Speaker 2: And that's yeah, it's very much. It's been kind of 939 00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:42,640 Speaker 2: front and center of my mind to stop doing that. 940 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,680 Speaker 3: No one likes it, you don't like it, you actually 941 00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:49,520 Speaker 3: feel like shit afterwards. So what is this inherent kind 942 00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:51,480 Speaker 3: of need to say. 943 00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,680 Speaker 2: I know that, I know that you don't know what 944 00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:56,439 Speaker 2: you're talking about. I know better than you. 945 00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:04,080 Speaker 1: Stop talking, and you think about also on a social 946 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,400 Speaker 1: media level. And I'm not throwing social media under the 947 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,160 Speaker 1: bus because I think sometimes it's a really good tool 948 00:53:09,200 --> 00:53:12,279 Speaker 1: and sometimes it's not. And I think we need to 949 00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,399 Speaker 1: take responsibility for the impact that social media has on us, 950 00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:20,560 Speaker 1: because you know, where like nobody's putting a gun to 951 00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,320 Speaker 1: here to make oh yeah, but they've developed these things 952 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:25,640 Speaker 1: so that it hijacks your brain, and that has an 953 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,439 Speaker 1: hijacked mine hasn't hijacked a lot of you know, it's 954 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,719 Speaker 1: not like this mandatory I'm a fucking puppet at the 955 00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,200 Speaker 1: mercy of It's like, there needs to be some level 956 00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,120 Speaker 1: of accountability and responsibility on an on an individual level 957 00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:43,320 Speaker 1: as well as the social media company is having some responsibility. 958 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:44,040 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 959 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,520 Speaker 1: But what I was going to say is, so, you know, 960 00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:50,920 Speaker 1: you jump into social media IG for me, and you 961 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,480 Speaker 1: scroll and you're like, you're looking at all of these 962 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,200 Speaker 1: fictional fucking stories that people are wheeling out as though 963 00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:01,440 Speaker 1: this is truth, Like, ah, you know, how happy or 964 00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:04,520 Speaker 1: how successful or how lean or how amazing or how 965 00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,279 Speaker 1: fucking we'll fill in the blank, and we go, oh, 966 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:08,640 Speaker 1: I want to be like they want to be like 967 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:11,759 Speaker 1: who I want to be like him? Look how amazing that? No, 968 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,920 Speaker 1: that's not their life. That's a fucking real on a 969 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:19,040 Speaker 1: platform that they have probably shot thirty five different times 970 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:22,400 Speaker 1: in three different fucking light settings with four different mics, 971 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:26,680 Speaker 1: with some motherfucker holding the camera, and then they've edited 972 00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,200 Speaker 1: the shit out of that to produce this little thing 973 00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:34,839 Speaker 1: that you think just them casually strolling through their excellent existence, right, bro, 974 00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:38,400 Speaker 1: come on, Like, for me, I find it interesting, but 975 00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:40,120 Speaker 1: I know what it is, and I know what it 976 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:43,640 Speaker 1: isn't you know? This is not life. This is a show. 977 00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:46,960 Speaker 1: I mean, it's literally like a little movie that someone's created. 978 00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:49,759 Speaker 1: Like we don't watch movies, going fuck, I love this 979 00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:53,440 Speaker 1: documentary because we know it's a fucking movie. So don't 980 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,640 Speaker 1: think the movies, the mini movies you're watching on social media, 981 00:54:56,760 --> 00:55:01,879 Speaker 1: are documentaries or any reflection of reality. There's some exceptions, 982 00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:04,880 Speaker 1: but most not really. And so that's going. No, life 983 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:09,200 Speaker 1: is not a fucking Disney movie. Life is not fucking 984 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,040 Speaker 1: you know, fluffy puppies and unicorns. It's not. It's life. 985 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:17,359 Speaker 1: Life's life. Sometimes beautiful, sometimes it's horrible. You know, I've 986 00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:20,080 Speaker 1: got friends right now going through all kinds of horrible shit. 987 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:24,360 Speaker 1: Ask them how life's going. It ain't a reel on Instagram, 988 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,840 Speaker 1: you know, like like our friend that you know, Johnny 989 00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:30,759 Speaker 1: comes to the gym last eight years, it's just gone 990 00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,400 Speaker 1: eight years since he got blown up. Eight years with 991 00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:37,160 Speaker 1: a traumatic brain injury. Eight years with daily pain, I 992 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,600 Speaker 1: mean fucking nine out of ten pain, eight years with 993 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,680 Speaker 1: a spinal did I say spinal cord or traumatic brain injury, 994 00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:48,759 Speaker 1: got both of them, and eight years of walking with 995 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,080 Speaker 1: great difficult not eight years because he was in a 996 00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:54,719 Speaker 1: wheelchair at first, you know. And that's his day, like 997 00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,520 Speaker 1: he never has Yes, he has moments of joy and fun, 998 00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,839 Speaker 1: but if you look at the totality of twenty four 999 00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:05,160 Speaker 1: hour period, he never has a great day. Every day 1000 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:11,400 Speaker 1: contains pain and discomfort, and considerable work, an organization to 1001 00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:14,200 Speaker 1: get out of bed in the morning to be somewhat 1002 00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:18,040 Speaker 1: operational for the day. So don't tell me how fucking 1003 00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:22,280 Speaker 1: amazing life is. Everyone. You know, maybe your life truly 1004 00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:26,040 Speaker 1: is amazing, maybe maybe you're the unicorn, but life is 1005 00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,960 Speaker 1: just life. For some people, it's beautiful. For some people 1006 00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,480 Speaker 1: it's fucking horrible. We don't want to talk about the 1007 00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:35,279 Speaker 1: horrible because we're all about pumping our fist and walking 1008 00:56:35,360 --> 00:56:39,040 Speaker 1: on hot coals and being putting light into the world. Well, 1009 00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,719 Speaker 1: guess what, some people live in darkness. You don't want 1010 00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:45,440 Speaker 1: to acknowledge it, you don't like it, but that is 1011 00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:49,000 Speaker 1: some people's reality. So we need to be compassionate and 1012 00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,640 Speaker 1: if we can be a little bit of light. I 1013 00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,320 Speaker 1: try to be a little bit of light in Johnny's life. 1014 00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:58,000 Speaker 1: If I can do that, then I'm proud. But I'm 1015 00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,960 Speaker 1: not pretending his life is good. You know, there's that 1016 00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:03,200 Speaker 1: we've got to, like, fucking get out of the fairy 1017 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,640 Speaker 1: talent into this is what life. 1018 00:57:05,440 --> 00:57:10,440 Speaker 3: Is, absolutely and they're the far more rewarding conversations as well. 1019 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:14,360 Speaker 3: I've become quite good friends with someone from the gym 1020 00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,840 Speaker 3: who and she won't mind me mentioning, but she posted 1021 00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:21,360 Speaker 3: on social media about her depression and how she didn't 1022 00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:25,120 Speaker 3: want to be here anymore and that, like, I just 1023 00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:27,120 Speaker 3: sent her a message and I said, you know, I 1024 00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,080 Speaker 3: don't know you. I see you at the gym and 1025 00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:31,160 Speaker 3: I always look at you and think, you know, she's 1026 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,720 Speaker 3: she's super fit, she's really lean, she's you know, got 1027 00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:38,400 Speaker 3: it all together. And she put this really honest post 1028 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:40,360 Speaker 3: out and I just said to her, I'm really glad 1029 00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,720 Speaker 3: that you changed your mind, and I'm really glad that 1030 00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,240 Speaker 3: you're still here. And I don't know you, but please 1031 00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,760 Speaker 3: send me a message anytime you feel shit. 1032 00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,560 Speaker 2: And so we have been messaging each other quite a bit. 1033 00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:54,360 Speaker 3: Now, and all we know about each other is that 1034 00:57:54,400 --> 00:58:00,439 Speaker 3: we're both really you know, vulnerable human beings who dip 1035 00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,640 Speaker 3: into mental health issues here and there. 1036 00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:05,200 Speaker 2: And it's. 1037 00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:10,400 Speaker 3: Probably one of the realest connections that I have. So 1038 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:12,200 Speaker 3: that that is a good side of social media. It's 1039 00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:16,560 Speaker 3: just it's a message that we send each other. But yeah, 1040 00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,600 Speaker 3: that's you don't have that level of conversation or depth 1041 00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,520 Speaker 3: of connection with people who are going, hey, check out 1042 00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:26,840 Speaker 3: my makeup tutorial or you know this, you know, here's 1043 00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:28,800 Speaker 3: what's on my plate. For the day, or you know, 1044 00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:35,280 Speaker 3: here's the latest viral recipe. So yeah, I think, you know, 1045 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:38,200 Speaker 3: not to sound wanky, but I think there's a real 1046 00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,080 Speaker 3: beauty that can come out of that darkness if you're 1047 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,360 Speaker 3: willing to be vulnerable around it and. 1048 00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:44,280 Speaker 2: Talk to the right people. 1049 00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:49,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, beautiful, I agree, because that's the human experience. Also, 1050 00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:51,800 Speaker 1: before anyone gets mad at me, I'm not saying social 1051 00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:53,840 Speaker 1: media is bad at all. Also, I'm not saying building 1052 00:58:53,880 --> 00:58:58,120 Speaker 1: a business or a profile is bad. I think you know, 1053 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,760 Speaker 1: it's like I've got a few follows, I've got a 1054 00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:03,960 Speaker 1: few listeners. That's cool, of course, and I'm grateful for that, 1055 00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:09,000 Speaker 1: but it's not my identity. And you know, but there 1056 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,320 Speaker 1: are other people who jump online and they're purely online 1057 00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:15,840 Speaker 1: just to sell this or sell that. Also, well done. 1058 00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:18,160 Speaker 1: You know. If you want to build a business, a 1059 00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,520 Speaker 1: micro business or an online business and you're doing great, well, 1060 00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,880 Speaker 1: then go you like go you. So it's this is 1061 00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:30,760 Speaker 1: the thing. It's like with with any single thing. Is 1062 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:34,080 Speaker 1: cake bad? No? If you have three bits a day, 1063 00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:39,040 Speaker 1: well yeah, this booze bad. What depends, doesn't it. It's 1064 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,280 Speaker 1: like my mum and dad drink booze. They're eighty six. Yeah, 1065 00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:45,000 Speaker 1: they're probably going all right. You know, it's like, do 1066 00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,480 Speaker 1: I drink booze? No? Does that make me better? No? 1067 00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:50,880 Speaker 1: Or maybe I'd be a better person if I had 1068 00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,640 Speaker 1: a fucking wine or a beer each day, accounty, I 1069 00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:56,800 Speaker 1: don't know. But it's like these yeah, these things are 1070 00:59:56,840 --> 01:00:00,400 Speaker 1: not arbitrary so much. You know, maybe if you things 1071 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,560 Speaker 1: like well, we know cigarettes are probably going to fuck 1072 01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:05,920 Speaker 1: you up. But you know, is our social media good 1073 01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:09,520 Speaker 1: or bad? Both? Both? But it's really not about is 1074 01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:13,200 Speaker 1: it inherently good or bad. It's really about how it 1075 01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:17,400 Speaker 1: is used by people and how it impacts people. It's 1076 01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:21,800 Speaker 1: more than that, you know, And even over time we 1077 01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:25,680 Speaker 1: find out via a lot of our guests on even 1078 01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,000 Speaker 1: this show, it's like, oh, the thing that we used 1079 01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:31,000 Speaker 1: to think was really bad, eating lots of meat might 1080 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:34,720 Speaker 1: actually not be bad, you know, Or maybe this kind 1081 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:38,560 Speaker 1: of oil is you know, don't ever have fucking butter now? 1082 01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:43,080 Speaker 1: Some people are like, no, you should just have butter. Again. 1083 01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:46,880 Speaker 1: I'm not endorsing or rejecting anything. I'm just you know, 1084 01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:50,280 Speaker 1: this is the thing, and it's like, I like, for me, 1085 01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:55,880 Speaker 1: I've never I've never been less busy in the sense 1086 01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:57,960 Speaker 1: that I don't have multiple business and I don't have 1087 01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:01,400 Speaker 1: lots of stuff, and I don't have sixteen meetings a day. 1088 01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:05,360 Speaker 1: But I feel the richest I've ever felt, and not 1089 01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:09,280 Speaker 1: because of money. Like I'm like, oh, how good is 1090 01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,760 Speaker 1: my fucking life? How good is my life? And I go, 1091 01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:16,000 Speaker 1: I am you know, of course there's money, which we 1092 01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,360 Speaker 1: call wealth, And then I go, yeah, what about your 1093 01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:21,160 Speaker 1: emotional bank account or your spiritual bankccount, or your social 1094 01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:24,479 Speaker 1: bank account or your mental bank account or how's that going? 1095 01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:27,840 Speaker 1: But we're so preoccupied with the first one, not the 1096 01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,440 Speaker 1: last four, that we feel the first one sometimes again, 1097 01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:35,200 Speaker 1: that's not a bad thing, that's an amazing thing. But 1098 01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:41,400 Speaker 1: then then around that, you know, is my identity intertwined 1099 01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,200 Speaker 1: with the ship that I own and the money that 1100 01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:46,400 Speaker 1: I have, or is that just a resource available to 1101 01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:49,200 Speaker 1: me to do the stuff that I'm actually passionate about. 1102 01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:55,640 Speaker 3: Look, I would dare say that for me, like my identity, 1103 01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:59,760 Speaker 3: Like I know that I have a lot of really 1104 01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:03,160 Speaker 3: wonderful people in my life, and I look at them 1105 01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,560 Speaker 3: and it's kind of like, well, if someone as amazing 1106 01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,880 Speaker 3: as this person is in my life and they come 1107 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,040 Speaker 3: to me and support me when they know that I'm 1108 01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:13,920 Speaker 3: not feeling great. 1109 01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:16,960 Speaker 2: That is worth more than any. 1110 01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:19,760 Speaker 3: Bank balance, because you've got the right people around you 1111 01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:21,800 Speaker 3: that support you and love you and care for you 1112 01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:26,400 Speaker 3: when you need it, and also you get to do 1113 01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:29,560 Speaker 3: the same for them and they accept that from you. 1114 01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:32,919 Speaker 3: And I know for a lot of people in my life, 1115 01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:34,360 Speaker 3: they don't let. 1116 01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:38,360 Speaker 2: Just anyone in. And to know that, you know. 1117 01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:41,280 Speaker 3: It's a relationship that goes both ways in that they 1118 01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:43,160 Speaker 3: can be for you and you can be for them. 1119 01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,480 Speaker 2: That's my absolute wealth. 1120 01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:50,800 Speaker 1: And yet there'll be people listening to you and I going, yeah, 1121 01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:53,000 Speaker 1: it's all right for you, Harps. You're a faculty fucking 1122 01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:57,360 Speaker 1: single bloke living in wherever. I've got four kids and 1123 01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:00,920 Speaker 1: we're a one income household and my wife or me 1124 01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:04,560 Speaker 1: and my husband and six miles and four lots of education. 1125 01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:08,560 Speaker 1: And then you go, well for you one as best 1126 01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:11,800 Speaker 1: I can understand, not being you, I understand total empathy, 1127 01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:17,520 Speaker 1: total love, and I get that like making money practically, 1128 01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:20,760 Speaker 1: that's just got to be your priority now, absolutely, you know, 1129 01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,800 Speaker 1: And it's like it's situation dependent. I'm going to give 1130 01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:28,919 Speaker 1: you an eight and a half for this. You've done 1131 01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:30,360 Speaker 1: very well. I don't want to give you a ten, 1132 01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,520 Speaker 1: because I want to give you something to work towards 1133 01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:34,040 Speaker 1: and aspire to excellent. 1134 01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:35,120 Speaker 2: I like doing the work. 1135 01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:37,600 Speaker 1: How did you feel getting back behind the wheel? 1136 01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:40,200 Speaker 2: Great? Really, really good. 1137 01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:45,200 Speaker 3: It's nice to be stretched in ways that I wouldn't 1138 01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,520 Speaker 3: normally be And that's really what I'm getting out of 1139 01:03:47,560 --> 01:03:50,440 Speaker 3: the conversations that I get to have with you. So yeah, 1140 01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:51,160 Speaker 3: I feel really good. 1141 01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:51,760 Speaker 2: Thank you. 1142 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:54,560 Speaker 1: What I want people to know and correct me if 1143 01:03:54,600 --> 01:04:00,040 Speaker 1: I fuck any of this up. But like you and I, 1144 01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,560 Speaker 1: I've never sat down and had a coffee together. We've 1145 01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,480 Speaker 1: never had a meal together, we've never hung out together. 1146 01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:09,160 Speaker 1: We know each other through the gym and we message 1147 01:04:09,200 --> 01:04:11,360 Speaker 1: back and forth, we have the odd phone call, a 1148 01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:18,640 Speaker 1: few SMSs. But my understanding of you is this is 1149 01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:26,320 Speaker 1: not your natural wheelhouse, right, You're way down the introvert 1150 01:04:26,480 --> 01:04:28,600 Speaker 1: rather than the extrovert end of the scale. 1151 01:04:29,160 --> 01:04:31,120 Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, Why do you? 1152 01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:34,360 Speaker 1: And I know it's not because you want to people 1153 01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,080 Speaker 1: to know you and you don't want to be or 1154 01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:37,960 Speaker 1: you want to be famous. I know it's not that, 1155 01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:41,200 Speaker 1: because I fucking know you. Why do you want to 1156 01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:44,440 Speaker 1: come on and chat to me in this situation that 1157 01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:47,480 Speaker 1: is not By the way, you're getting better and better. 1158 01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:50,880 Speaker 1: Maybe that's the Maybe that's the reason, right. And even 1159 01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:52,760 Speaker 1: at the start when I did the first one with you, 1160 01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:56,120 Speaker 1: I remember talking to Melissa going for somebody who's fucking 1161 01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:59,080 Speaker 1: nervous and shy and an introvert. She did an amazing 1162 01:04:59,160 --> 01:05:02,320 Speaker 1: job just talking. So what's your reason for wanting to 1163 01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:02,640 Speaker 1: do it? 1164 01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:07,160 Speaker 3: I think so in person, I have a lot of 1165 01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:11,840 Speaker 3: social anxiety, and that's something that I've worked through. I 1166 01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:14,800 Speaker 3: think the fact that this is through a screen, there's that. 1167 01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:17,280 Speaker 1: Barrier. 1168 01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:19,920 Speaker 3: There's a physical barrier, right, So we're not actually in 1169 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:23,680 Speaker 3: the same room. We're having a conversation. You're not kind 1170 01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:27,640 Speaker 3: of looking at me in any way. That's you know, judging. 1171 01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:27,640 Speaker 1: Like you know what. 1172 01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:29,920 Speaker 3: It's likely to have conversations with people in person and 1173 01:05:29,960 --> 01:05:31,280 Speaker 3: they might give you a bit of a look up 1174 01:05:31,320 --> 01:05:33,720 Speaker 3: and down, and then suddenly your train of thought has 1175 01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:35,480 Speaker 3: gone to, oh my god, what are they looking at? Like? 1176 01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:37,880 Speaker 2: Do I is my fly undone? 1177 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:39,960 Speaker 3: You know? Is my shoe less undone? Like what's going on? 1178 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:45,920 Speaker 3: But I'm also I reached out to you the first 1179 01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:51,000 Speaker 3: time when I was on this huge journey of learning 1180 01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:56,800 Speaker 3: about self awareness. Meditation was in there, learning about the brain, 1181 01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:01,120 Speaker 3: was in their physical learning as well. And you know, 1182 01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,400 Speaker 3: to me, you were always just the scary dude at 1183 01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:07,040 Speaker 3: the gym, and I always wondered why everybody flocked to you. 1184 01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:09,520 Speaker 3: And then I started listening to what you're putting out 1185 01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:12,960 Speaker 3: and I'm like, this is so fascinating, and. 1186 01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:15,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I just tried my luck. 1187 01:06:15,520 --> 01:06:19,920 Speaker 3: I thought, from a very selfish perspective, I get to 1188 01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:22,840 Speaker 3: ask you questions, and I know from what I see 1189 01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:26,200 Speaker 3: on the Facebook groups, there's so many people that want 1190 01:06:26,200 --> 01:06:28,720 Speaker 3: to ask you questions. And I'm like, I'm so lucky 1191 01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:33,480 Speaker 3: to be able to do this, so preparing for it, 1192 01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:37,160 Speaker 3: thinking about it, thinking about, you know, questions that if 1193 01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:39,360 Speaker 3: I've got the chance to be asking, let's say, on 1194 01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,080 Speaker 3: behalf of other people who are curious, what's going to 1195 01:06:42,080 --> 01:06:43,440 Speaker 3: be the best use of this time? 1196 01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:45,960 Speaker 2: And from that it's just you. 1197 01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,400 Speaker 3: Know, even also, you know, talking with tiff On Hers 1198 01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:52,120 Speaker 3: and it's really pushed me out of my comfort zone 1199 01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:56,320 Speaker 3: and I as much as I'm introverted, I'm enjoying that. 1200 01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:00,800 Speaker 1: And you know what's funny is and this is not 1201 01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:06,680 Speaker 1: an invitation for everyone else, sorry, but if you hadn't asked, 1202 01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:08,840 Speaker 1: never to have happened, right, So you did a really 1203 01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:13,120 Speaker 1: brave few thing asking the scary dude. Hey. I think 1204 01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:14,760 Speaker 1: it started with there are a bunch of people that 1205 01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:19,080 Speaker 1: sent me some questions on the platform. Also everyone I 1206 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:21,560 Speaker 1: realized I asked for questions a month ago and I 1207 01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,440 Speaker 1: haven't got to them. I will get to them. I've 1208 01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:25,960 Speaker 1: still got them in a document. But you went, hey, 1209 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:29,560 Speaker 1: something like can I ask you those questions? On the 1210 01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:32,080 Speaker 1: ones that were I think that's where we started, wasn't it. 1211 01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:34,640 Speaker 3: Well? The first one was when you put it out 1212 01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:37,200 Speaker 3: and this was a few years ago about the listener 1213 01:07:37,240 --> 01:07:39,880 Speaker 3: invasion and you invited three listeners to come and that 1214 01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:40,800 Speaker 3: was the first. 1215 01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,920 Speaker 2: Time, and from then I was always like, how can 1216 01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:44,640 Speaker 2: I do it again? 1217 01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:49,280 Speaker 3: Because that was just magic and in full disclosure, like 1218 01:07:49,320 --> 01:07:52,840 Speaker 3: any time I've thought or been brave enough to say, hey, 1219 01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:55,200 Speaker 3: can I have another go? It's been when I'm at 1220 01:07:55,240 --> 01:07:57,640 Speaker 3: the gym and all of my endorphins are pumping and 1221 01:07:57,680 --> 01:07:59,880 Speaker 3: I'm like, I've just lifted something heavy. 1222 01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:03,400 Speaker 2: I can do anything, and I'll click your message. And 1223 01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:06,160 Speaker 2: it went from kind of like hi to hey, but 1224 01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:06,640 Speaker 2: a cup. 1225 01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:12,919 Speaker 1: Yes, there's been a progression in familiarity. I will say 1226 01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:16,920 Speaker 1: that makes me a little uncomfortable, but no, it's great, 1227 01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:20,559 Speaker 1: it's fun. Well, good for you, I mean talk about 1228 01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:23,320 Speaker 1: a mc C talking about doing something that you want 1229 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:25,960 Speaker 1: to do but that terrifies you and you want to 1230 01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:29,439 Speaker 1: do but you kind of don't want to do. Yeah, 1231 01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:32,120 Speaker 1: well done you all right, thanks, say goodbye A fair 1232 01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:33,320 Speaker 1: but nice to chab Kel. 1233 01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:34,080 Speaker 2: Thanks