Speaker 1: Why is it so hard to get real answers about
Speaker 1: your health? If you've been told that everything looks fine,
Speaker 1: but you know that something is off, well, you're not
Speaker 1: imagining it. That's why I created Vitality three sixty to
Speaker 1: help you better understand what's going on inside your body
Speaker 1: so that you can take the targeted action needed. With
Speaker 1: a functional health approach plus testing, we go beyond the
Speaker 1: guesswork to uncover the root causes of your symptoms. I've
Speaker 1: teamed up with Doctyesmina, an incredible integrative GP, and together
Speaker 1: we will help you decode your body's signals and answer
Speaker 1: questions like why am I always exhausted? What's really causing
Speaker 1: my stubborn weight? Am I inflamed? Insulin resistant? Or maybe
Speaker 1: missing key nutrients? Because when you understand your body better,
Speaker 1: you can transform your health.
Speaker 2: Visit v three sixty dot health or check out the
Speaker 2: show notes for more.
Speaker 1: The way my CrossFit classes work is when you go
Speaker 1: in every day, you do the warm up, you do
Speaker 1: the mobility, you do your strength component, and then we
Speaker 1: have the WAD. And the WAD is this thing called
Speaker 1: the workout of the day, and it's a bit of
Speaker 1: a kinder surprise. You don't know what you're going to get.
Speaker 1: Some days the WAD is as short as six minutes,
Speaker 1: some days it's as long as thirty minutes. Some days
Speaker 1: it's very cardio focused with lots of box jumps and
Speaker 1: sprints and running. Other days it's very strength focused.
Speaker 2: With big barbells.
Speaker 1: But as part of the wad up on the board
Speaker 1: where the workout is written, you have the RX weights
Speaker 1: and so these are RX for men, RX for women.
Speaker 1: So for example, yesterday it was a fifteen kilo dumbbell
Speaker 1: for the overhead snatches. It was a twenty five kilo
Speaker 1: bar bell for women. And so this year I set
Speaker 1: myself a little goal that I am going to RX
Speaker 1: every workout because often what a lot of us do
Speaker 1: is we'll look at the you know, twenty five kilo barbell,
Speaker 1: we'll go we're not going to do that. We drop
Speaker 1: it down to eighteen or whatever. But no, this year
Speaker 1: my goal was to RX every workout.
Speaker 2: So where are we a couple.
Speaker 1: Of months into the year, and I have to say,
Speaker 1: Sam bagged it. For the last few workouts I've gone in,
Speaker 1: I've been so tired.
Speaker 2: I've looked at the way I've.
Speaker 1: Gone No I'm not doing that, and I've just capitulated
Speaker 1: and do what my coach calls the sandbag workout. So
Speaker 1: it's kind of frustrating for me because I really want
Speaker 1: to do this.
Speaker 2: I know I can do it.
Speaker 1: It's hard, but I know I can do it, and
Speaker 1: so it's just got me thinking lately, how do we
Speaker 1: get more motivated to do the hard things. This is
Speaker 1: Healthy Her with Amelia Phillips. If you're listening to this podcast, chances.
Speaker 2: Are you are already a very.
Speaker 1: Health conscious, motivated person, and I bet you are doing
Speaker 1: amazing things for your health, and I congratulate you. I mean,
Speaker 1: you should be so proud of the healthy habits that
Speaker 1: you do have, Like good for you. I feel like
Speaker 1: we don't celebrate how far we've come enough.
Speaker 2: But if you're.
Speaker 1: Anything like me, you still want more. You want to
Speaker 1: do more, you want to learn more, you want to
Speaker 1: keep improving, striving, setting your body and mind up for
Speaker 1: many more decades of health, adventure, happiness. Well, in order
Speaker 1: to do this, especially when we're already pretty fit, we
Speaker 1: need to do hard things to not just show up
Speaker 1: at the gym consistently and look, if we're doing that,
Speaker 1: we're already doing so so well. But we need to
Speaker 1: push ourselves outside our comfort zone on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: We might need to say no to foods or drinks
Speaker 1: that we love not all the time, but a lot
Speaker 1: of the time. We might have to take a harder
Speaker 1: road of meal prep when uber eats is just a
Speaker 1: couple of taps away. Doing hard things requires us to
Speaker 1: be proactive and to be intrinsically motivated. But how do
Speaker 1: we ignite this intrinsic motivation? How do we ignite it
Speaker 1: inside us?
Speaker 2: You know that inner.
Speaker 1: Voice that says, come on meals, You've got this workout,
Speaker 1: you can r rex this today, you can do it.
Speaker 1: You want this, when often we are overworked, overwhelmed, and
Speaker 1: frankly it would rather be curled up on the couch.
Speaker 1: What is the secret to feeling more motivated to do
Speaker 1: the hard things well? To help answer this question, I
Speaker 1: have called on one incredible woman who has tackled many
Speaker 1: a hard thing in her life, many a hard challenge.
Speaker 1: Lane Beachley is a seven time World surfing champion, the
Speaker 1: only surfer male or female to win six consecutive world
Speaker 1: titles like think about that six in a row, and
Speaker 1: a woman whose impact reaches far beyond the surf. Her
Speaker 1: journey from an adopted baby to a global icon certainly
Speaker 1: hasn't been a smooth ride for her. It's been forged
Speaker 1: through grit, through guts, and through a deep commitment to
Speaker 1: personal growth. Lane's lived experience with mental health challengers, with injury,
Speaker 1: with person and all loss has really become the heartbeat
Speaker 1: of her message. And I love this message. Take a
Speaker 1: listen to her message, Choice, not chance, determines our destiny today.
Speaker 1: Lane is a sought after speaker. She is a fearless
Speaker 1: advocate for mental wellbeing, for gender equality and environmental action.
Speaker 1: And she's a proud ambassador for organizations like the Black
Speaker 1: Dog Institute, Gotcha for.
Speaker 2: Life, and WWF Australia.
Speaker 1: Lane is also the founder of Awake Academy and I
Speaker 1: really recommend you check them out. They're amazing Awake Academy.
Speaker 1: They're on a mission to help a million people thrive
Speaker 1: and live happier, more purposeful lives through their online programs,
Speaker 1: workshops and also then new book co written with Tess
Speaker 1: Brauer Awake Academy, Know Yourself, Grow Yourself. Lane, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us on Healthy Heir.
Speaker 3: You're welcome, Amelia that CrossFit workout sounds horrendous.
Speaker 2: I know it is.
Speaker 1: I just drag my I don't let myself because you
Speaker 1: can actually see the workout on the app before, like
Speaker 1: they posted the night before, and I never look because
Speaker 1: if I looked at what the workout was, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: show up.
Speaker 3: Fair enough.
Speaker 2: I know, but look today.
Speaker 1: I really want to get your perspective on how to
Speaker 1: feel more motivated to do hard things. So I'd love
Speaker 1: to rewind the clock and to take you back to
Speaker 1: your competitive surfing days. I'd love for you to paint
Speaker 1: a picture of those days and the hard things that
Speaker 1: you had to do, whether it be in training in
Speaker 1: comms to enable you to dominate like you did well.
Speaker 3: Hard things are different for every one of us, so
Speaker 3: thinking about your audience, for example, the hard things today
Speaker 3: might actually just be finding the time to prioritize self care,
Speaker 3: or making the time to go to the gym, or
Speaker 3: feeling the tension between leaving your child or your toddler
Speaker 3: and then taking care of yourself. There's a lot of
Speaker 3: hard things going on our lives. When I reflect on
Speaker 3: my professional surfing career, I feel that the hard things
Speaker 3: were really hard, like getting up at five o'clock in
Speaker 3: the morning, in the pouring rain, in the middle of winter,
Speaker 3: with a cold, and going to training. But the intrinsic
Speaker 3: motivation is what inspired me to get up and do
Speaker 3: that day in and day out. Unfortunately, that intrinsic motivation
Speaker 3: also overrode the fact that I was sick and I
Speaker 3: needed to pause and I needed to rest. So it
Speaker 3: was even a hard thing to give myself permission to
Speaker 3: stop and recover. I didn't understand the importance of recovery.
Speaker 3: I didn't understand the importance of nutrition. I didn't understand
Speaker 3: the importance of proper hydration. I was just to go
Speaker 3: get a machine, and that cost me the quality of
Speaker 3: my health and well being, which then resulted in chronic fatigue,
Speaker 3: not once, but twice.
Speaker 1: Ah, that's so interesting, so interestingly for you, because you
Speaker 1: were so determined back then that the hard thing for
Speaker 1: you actually was more around slowing down and thinking about
Speaker 1: you know, those challenging things like what was it that
Speaker 1: made you say, yes, I want to get in that cold,
Speaker 1: shark infested water, or I want to tackle that way
Speaker 1: that could snap me in half. Like when you were
Speaker 1: feeling those fears around doing what was driving you to
Speaker 1: keep going well.
Speaker 3: At the time, the intrinsic driver was I wanted to win.
Speaker 3: There wasn't much of an extrinsic goal, like I wasn't
Speaker 3: going for the fame of the fortune. Well there was
Speaker 3: no fortune, and it was women's surfing. But I wasn't
Speaker 3: going for the trophies and the fame and all of
Speaker 3: those things. I was going for the desire to be
Speaker 3: the best, the desire to stand on the podium and
Speaker 3: feel the euphoria a victory. When I achieved my ultimate
Speaker 3: goal of becoming a six times consecutive world champion. When
Speaker 3: I reflected on that intrinsic motivation, the drive actually wasn't
Speaker 3: to win. The drive was essentially worthiness. I had decided
Speaker 3: at a very young age that when my dad told
Speaker 3: me I was adopted as an eight year old, I
Speaker 3: instantly felt unworthy. I felt unworthy of love, I felt
Speaker 3: unworthy of attention, and I decided that the only way
Speaker 3: I was going to prove to myself and the world
Speaker 3: that I was deserving of love and affection and attention
Speaker 3: is to become the best in the world at something. Unfortunately,
Speaker 3: when I did become the best in the world at something,
Speaker 3: I still didn't believe I was enough yet, So it
Speaker 3: wasn't until I won my six One one of my
Speaker 3: friends said, what's driving you? Do you think it's because
Speaker 3: you're adopted? I thought that really hurts, But there's a
Speaker 3: lot of truth in that, because yes, I still feel
Speaker 3: undeserving of love. And I had placed this limitation and
Speaker 3: this expectation that the only way I was going to
Speaker 3: be worthy of love is if I become the best
Speaker 3: in the world at something. But I had to become
Speaker 3: the best of the best, not just the best.
Speaker 2: And when does that end?
Speaker 1: You know, it's a self fulfilling prophecy where every single
Speaker 1: time you know you're never going to get to the
Speaker 1: top of the mountain.
Speaker 2: So what changed for you?
Speaker 1: At what point did you realize that, Okay, this is
Speaker 1: not serving me?
Speaker 2: What's driving me now?
Speaker 1: And you obviously just retire and disappear onto the couch.
Speaker 1: You've continued to strive outside of retirement. Can you explain
Speaker 1: that period, that shift when you decided that being the
Speaker 1: best of the best wasn't what needs to be motivating you.
Speaker 1: But there's got to be something else.
Speaker 3: Yes, So the big shift came when my body broke down.
Speaker 3: I ended up with a severe neck injury that I
Speaker 3: actually endured way back in two thousand and one, but
Speaker 3: chose to ignore all the symptoms and the signs and
Speaker 3: just continued to push through. Basically, I'm so mentally strong
Speaker 3: that when my body breaks down, I just see that
Speaker 3: as another obstacle I have to overcome. I don't honor it,
Speaker 3: I don't connect with it. I just continue to push
Speaker 3: through it. And that resulted in a neck injury that
Speaker 3: was so severe at seven eighty percent of my spinal cord,
Speaker 3: and I was given two options. I was given the
Speaker 3: option to retire. I was given the option to get surgery,
Speaker 3: and neither of those appealed to me. So I went
Speaker 3: and sought out a council from a third specialist, and
Speaker 3: he said, you're unfit and strong, allow your body to
Speaker 3: heal itself. And I my first question was how long
Speaker 3: will that take? Yeah, and he said as long as
Speaker 3: it takes. So learning to surrender to an unknown and
Speaker 3: an unseen force, but a strongly felt one, is the
Speaker 3: biggest lesson for me. I learned to surrender every time
Speaker 3: I go into the ocean. It's where I truly feel
Speaker 3: that sense of freedom and acceptance and surrender, but I
Speaker 3: couldn't apply it to my life because I was just
Speaker 3: on this ferocious, go get them goal oriented momentum that
Speaker 3: was driving me and my life and my body and
Speaker 3: everyone in it into the ground. And after I took
Speaker 3: six months out of the water and had to go
Speaker 3: through this soul healing, this deep it was an intense
Speaker 3: period for me where I had to really connect with
Speaker 3: my soul and my heart and ask myself why am
Speaker 3: I so driven through fear and connecting with all of
Speaker 3: those things and just accepting that part of myself and
Speaker 3: then giving myself forgiveness and then permission to do things differently.
Speaker 3: I was able to come back with a completely renewed attitude.
Speaker 3: I instead of being ferocious, I was tagged as having
Speaker 3: the compassion of a tiger shark when I was a
Speaker 3: competitor in that final couple of years of my professional
Speaker 3: surfing career. I came back to win my seventh world
Speaker 3: title with a renewed sense of freedom and joy and
Speaker 3: ease and grace and gratitude. Now that's not saying it
Speaker 3: wasn't hard, because it was. But it didn't define me
Speaker 3: and it didn't dictate the terms of my life to
Speaker 3: me anymore. I was back in charge, I had the helm,
Speaker 3: and I enjoyed it a lot more so. After I
Speaker 3: won my seventh Wold title, I then decided I wanted
Speaker 3: to retire, so I took I had a couple more
Speaker 3: years on tour, and then I retired, and then I
Speaker 3: felt that sense of loss that we all do if
Speaker 3: we step away from something we've done our whole lives.
Speaker 3: And then that was a whole nother layer of transition,
Speaker 3: and that was really hard making the decision to retire,
Speaker 3: and retiring wasn't that hard because I literally had to
Speaker 3: ask myself, am I prepared to do the work out
Speaker 3: of the water to generate the results I expected myself
Speaker 3: in it? And the answer was no, I'm distracted by
Speaker 3: life outside of surfing. Now I've been doing this competitive
Speaker 3: surfing thing for nineteen years. It's time to find out
Speaker 3: what life has in store for me.
Speaker 1: After that, with the period just before you went back
Speaker 1: in and you won that seventh consecutive, that seventh title,
Speaker 1: what were some of the strategies and the techniques you
Speaker 1: used to find that self compassion and to work through
Speaker 1: some of those issues around fear.
Speaker 2: Was it therapy? Was it just self reflection, all of it.
Speaker 3: There was a variety of different things. Yes, I relied
Speaker 3: on external therapies and external support and everything you can
Speaker 3: possibly imagine too, from magnetic therapy, hyperbaric chambers, chiropractice, massage therapists, acupuncturist,
Speaker 3: sonic key like explore.
Speaker 1: Just went on this kind of like self discovery journey,
Speaker 1: which I love.
Speaker 3: That was the external stuff. The internal stuff was justice powerful.
Speaker 3: The first It meant sitting still and sitting in discomfort
Speaker 3: and sitting in pain and just allowing myself to be
Speaker 3: in that and honor the time that it took for
Speaker 3: me to process it. So there was a lot of
Speaker 3: self reflection. There was a lot of journaling. There was
Speaker 3: a lot of meditation, yoga, breath work, a lot of forgiveness,
Speaker 3: soul searching. It was the full gamut, you know. And
Speaker 3: I didn't have an outcome or like a deadline to reach,
Speaker 3: you know. It was just a matter of just sitting
Speaker 3: in it for as long as I had to sit
Speaker 3: in it. I did biosinc therapy, which was really really powerful.
Speaker 2: What's biosinc therapy.
Speaker 3: It's working with a therapist who truly understands the body
Speaker 3: but also the emotional connection because our bodies harbor emotions
Speaker 3: and that stores it in the body. The body keeps
Speaker 3: the score, and our bodies distract us through physical pain
Speaker 3: to prevent us from dealing with the emotional trauma that
Speaker 3: stored in the body. So it essentially the practitioner basically
Speaker 3: guess his elbow and just runs up meridians and fine
Speaker 3: blocked channels and opens them back up. And one you're
Speaker 3: opening up physical pain, you're liberating emotional pain. So I
Speaker 3: explored that for a long time to help me process
Speaker 3: a lot of the physical trauma that I had stored
Speaker 3: in my body, which essentially was emotional trauma. I also
Speaker 3: did a lot of and I still do a lot
Speaker 3: of rebirthing, so breath work connecting with the breath. It's
Speaker 3: a cyclical process that's a kind of like a controlled
Speaker 3: hype of ventilation that liberates emotions that are stuck in
Speaker 3: my body that I'm not okay with, that I don't
Speaker 3: want to talk about, I don't want to process, I
Speaker 3: don't want to understand. I just want to get them out.
Speaker 3: So there's all the sorts of these modalities that I
Speaker 3: still tap into this day to help me free myself
Speaker 3: of trauma and pain and suffering because suffering literally is
Speaker 3: a choice.
Speaker 1: Why is it so hard to get real answers about
Speaker 1: your health? If you've been told that everything looks fine,
Speaker 1: but you know that something is off, we're not imagining it.
Speaker 1: That's why I created Vitality three sixty to help you
Speaker 1: better understand what's going on inside your body so that
Speaker 1: you can take the targeted action needed. With a functional
Speaker 1: health approach plus testing, we go beyond the guesswork to
Speaker 1: uncover the root causes of your symptoms. I've teamed up
Speaker 1: with Dottesmina, an incredible integrative GP and together we will
Speaker 1: help you decode your body's signals and answer questions like
Speaker 1: why am I always exhausted? What's really causing my stubborn weight?
Speaker 1: Am I inflamed? Insulin resistant? Or maybe missing key nutrients?
Speaker 2: Because when you.
Speaker 1: Understand your body better, you can transform your health. Visit
Speaker 1: v three sixty dot health or check out the show
Speaker 1: notes for more. That's what I love about your message,
Speaker 1: This concept you know of it being a choice. You
Speaker 1: know this idea of you know, choice, not chance, determines
Speaker 1: our destiny, and that can be really liberating, Like you say,
Speaker 1: especially for people that have experienced a lot of trauma
Speaker 1: bit big tea little tea trauma in their life. I
Speaker 1: really love how empowering that is. Tell me when you
Speaker 1: shifted out after you retired, what was the transition like
Speaker 1: and what were some of their skills that you were
Speaker 1: able to transfer out of your competitive surfing athletic world
Speaker 1: that serves you and still serves you today in your
Speaker 1: career and in your.
Speaker 2: Life, your full you know, three sixty life.
Speaker 1: Love to know some of those kind of winning formulas
Speaker 1: that you are able to still harness.
Speaker 3: The winning formula for me is a three part model,
Speaker 3: so essentially it's it's a living of values based life
Speaker 3: and understanding what my values are then help me articulate
Speaker 3: my vision. I believe majority of us put a vision
Speaker 3: or you know, a stake in the sand, and sometimes
Speaker 3: that vision and is somebody else's vision for our life,
Speaker 3: not our own. So if we want to achieve our
Speaker 3: vision for us, we need to understand what we value.
Speaker 3: Because our values govern our behaviors and they help us
Speaker 3: set standards for ourselves so we're not dictated to by
Speaker 3: external circumstances. We can govern our own lives just about
Speaker 3: through our values. Then when our values have motivated our vision.
Speaker 3: We then need to build a dream team of people
Speaker 3: around us.
Speaker 2: All yes, yes, so I may.
Speaker 3: Have been an individual athlete, but I always had a
Speaker 3: team around me, whether it was my shaper, my surf coach,
Speaker 3: my nutritionists, my therapists, my boyfriend, like, there was always
Speaker 3: a dream team around me that held me accountable, that
Speaker 3: were honest with me. They were supportive, they were encouraging.
Speaker 3: They believed in me. Sometimes they believed in me more
Speaker 3: than I believed in myself. And so I listened to
Speaker 3: your story at the start, about you know, wanting to
Speaker 3: RX your workout, and I think about today when I
Speaker 3: go training, I know I don't have the motivation to
Speaker 3: show up every day or every second day, even on
Speaker 3: my own. I need a personal trainer to hold me accountable.
Speaker 3: I also need a personal trainer to hold me accountable
Speaker 3: when I do get into my head and I start
Speaker 3: getting tired, and I start thinking this is too hard
Speaker 3: and I just don't need to push myself, And he
Speaker 3: gets me out of my head and says, push, come on,
Speaker 3: let's go fortifying your dream team, knowing who it is
Speaker 3: that you have around you, how they can bring the
Speaker 3: best out in you how you can support them to
Speaker 3: do what they do. So it's not.
Speaker 2: That's really powerful what you just said.
Speaker 1: Then actually how you can support them to bring the
Speaker 1: best out in you, which is actually because let's face it,
Speaker 1: in the real world, we're not paying our dream team.
Speaker 2: You know, our dream team.
Speaker 1: Is probably you know, our partner or a colleague or
Speaker 1: a friend. And so I love this reciprocity of like, well, also,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not just sucking the life out of
Speaker 1: them for me. But for example, I just had a
Speaker 1: little brain unlocked when you were saying that. In my
Speaker 1: example about the RX, I haven't told my coach that
Speaker 1: that was my goal.
Speaker 2: I did not say to him.
Speaker 1: Because I was too scared because if I said to
Speaker 1: my coach, hey, coach, my goal for the first three
Speaker 1: months of the year is to RX every workout, he
Speaker 1: would support me and he would be saying meals, remember
Speaker 1: what we said, and I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, no, no, I.
Speaker 1: Haven't given him what he needs to support me because
Speaker 1: I haven't shared.
Speaker 2: I haven't shared with the dream team. I love that.
Speaker 2: I love that so much.
Speaker 1: You know what a great what a great thing for
Speaker 1: our listeners to think, who's your dream team? You think
Speaker 1: about the life you want to live right now, who
Speaker 1: is your dream team? And are there gaps Like I
Speaker 1: think I need some therapy. I used to did therapy
Speaker 1: years ago, but I haven't sort of gone down that path.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's a gap for me and a
Speaker 1: lot of learning to happen there.
Speaker 3: Well, that's a great awareness piece, and we talk a
Speaker 3: lot about in our book around fortifying your dream team,
Speaker 3: and especially if you've undergone significant change or challenge or
Speaker 3: overcome or come back from something, we don't tend to
Speaker 3: understand how it's impacted our dream team. We know how
Speaker 3: it's impacted us, but what's the impact on them? And
Speaker 3: then how can we navigate that together so someone's not
Speaker 3: left in the dark, suffering and questioning what they could
Speaker 3: have done better or did they do enough? Because especially
Speaker 3: if you've got a partner, for example, with a health complication,
Speaker 3: like my husband had prostate cancer, and as the partner
Speaker 3: that sat on the sidelines cheering him on and wanting
Speaker 3: him to get well, I felt so helpless and hopeless
Speaker 3: in that situation. So we've got to have that reciprocity,
Speaker 3: We've got to have that understanding that what's happening to
Speaker 3: me as part of my dream team is happening to
Speaker 3: you too, and we need to understand how we can
Speaker 3: continue to evolve and build that relationship and connect with
Speaker 3: each other so no one's left behind. And then to
Speaker 3: your point, when you have that little unlocked, like, ah,
Speaker 3: I need to consider asking my coach to support me
Speaker 3: in this, because that's when you do put that goal
Speaker 3: or that stake in the sand, say I want to
Speaker 3: do this. Now you're held accountable. So the third part
Speaker 3: of the puzzle is to actually take action, and the
Speaker 3: action is perhaps having that conversation. All the action might
Speaker 3: be for emails is to say, you know what, I
Speaker 3: think I'm being unrealistic with my expectations on myself. Perhaps
Speaker 3: I just need to r X one a week. Yeah,
Speaker 3: as opposed to everyone so being realistic. So as I'm
Speaker 3: getting older, I'm starting to understand self compassion leads to
Speaker 3: self control, which leads to autonomy and sovereignty.
Speaker 2: Say that again, self compassion leads to lead.
Speaker 3: Which leads to then autonomy and sovereignty. We have agency
Speaker 3: over the way.
Speaker 1: We Sovereignty is like agency, like we're in charge of
Speaker 1: our own destiny.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I absolutely love that and.
Speaker 1: I find it really refreshing to hear you saying things like,
Speaker 1: you know, I know that if I didn't have a
Speaker 1: personal trainer, then I, you know, wouldn't turn up or
Speaker 1: show up or do it. And I mean coming from
Speaker 1: someone with your athletic past, for us me mortals to
Speaker 1: hear you say that makes usselves go, oh, my goodness,
Speaker 1: she's human.
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm definitely human. I've been in menopause for a I
Speaker 3: don't know, around about eight to ten years, and I
Speaker 3: thought that was my lot. I thought putting on waight,
Speaker 3: feeling weak, losing muscle mass. I just thought that was
Speaker 3: part of the process. And I had to just icknowledge
Speaker 3: or just accept that that was my lot. And then
Speaker 3: I started listening to Stacy Simms, and I connected with
Speaker 3: her personally and I had the chance to interview her,
Speaker 3: and I started seeking her counsel and advice. And I'm thinking,
Speaker 3: you know what, I need to do things differently now.
Speaker 3: My intrinsic motivation in my early fifties is to feel
Speaker 3: strong in my body and to feel vital, to have vitality,
Speaker 3: to have energy. That's the intrinsic motivator for me. So
Speaker 3: it's not about looking good in a bikini. Although I
Speaker 3: do pride myself and looking bikini, that's not the motivation.
Speaker 3: The motivation is to feel good in my body and
Speaker 3: to have strength and vitality to do the things that
Speaker 3: I love to do, to surf, to cycle, to ride,
Speaker 3: to jim to bush warm to snowboarne things.
Speaker 1: This is the challenge and this is what I feel
Speaker 1: really conflicted with. And this is why I'd love to
Speaker 1: get your perspective, because, you know, for those of us
Speaker 1: that don't come from an elite athlete background, and you know,
Speaker 1: for those of us that are in that midlife season,
Speaker 1: you know, do you think it's important that we keep
Speaker 1: striving and growing and you know, keep kind of challenging
Speaker 1: ourselves or is this the time to slow down and
Speaker 1: rest up?
Speaker 2: And I really do.
Speaker 1: Feel conflicted, Like sometimes I'm like, oh, just give yourself
Speaker 1: a bloody break, go on the couch, ye have a
Speaker 1: bottle of wine.
Speaker 2: And then other times I'm like, no, you know, I've
Speaker 2: got four kids.
Speaker 1: I want to be one of those grandparents that takes
Speaker 1: them on a ski holiday. How do you strike that balance?
Speaker 1: And I'd love your perspective on this midlife conundrum that
Speaker 1: we find ourselves in consistency.
Speaker 3: That's how you find the balance. It's consistency and compassion.
Speaker 3: So in the days where you're like I just want
Speaker 3: to sit on the couch and eat the chocolate, sit
Speaker 3: on the couch and eat the chocolate. But don't do
Speaker 3: it every day, because doing it every day creates a
Speaker 3: new consistent pattern. But doing it once in a while
Speaker 3: just says to you, I'm worthy of this. I'm also
Speaker 3: worthy of making the time in the space for myself
Speaker 3: to go to the gym to do the hard things.
Speaker 3: We need to be consistent, but we also need to
Speaker 3: be compassionate. And I must admit consistency has been my
Speaker 3: strong point. Compassion has been my weakest point. And I'm
Speaker 3: learning to apply compassion to my consistency. So, for example,
Speaker 3: I walked the runway. I closed Lisa Baron's fashion show.
Speaker 1: Oh I saw this on the Instagram. I'm going to
Speaker 1: put a link in the show.
Speaker 2: Notes.
Speaker 1: Guys, you have to see Lane on the catwalk dressed up.
Speaker 1: Tell us about that experience, talk about outside the concert zone, talk.
Speaker 3: About stepping outside of my comfort zone. Lisa Baron asked
Speaker 3: me to close her show. It's called fuck the Invisible,
Speaker 3: So Essentially, what we're saying is as women get older fifty, sixty, seventy,
Speaker 3: it's like we become invisible to the fashion world. We
Speaker 3: no longer maintain our relevance in that space. So Lisa
Speaker 3: likes to buck that notion and say, you know what,
Speaker 3: you can dress however you want, you rocket however you want,
Speaker 3: because you are worthy. And she designed this dress for
Speaker 3: me that was completely see.
Speaker 2: Through hot seriously, wow, one.
Speaker 3: Hundred percent through. And so she sewed in these little
Speaker 3: boob caps right in the right spot. Unfortunately she knows
Speaker 3: my size, and then she made these little black shortsh
Speaker 3: So I had I did have a goal to work towards.
Speaker 3: I wanted to feel as great as I could possibly
Speaker 3: feel in that environment, because look, I'm not a supermodel,
Speaker 3: and I'm certainly not ever going to consider myself to
Speaker 3: be one, nor am I going to profess that I
Speaker 3: am one. So what I loved about that experience is
Speaker 3: it gave me permission to just be me. I gave
Speaker 3: me permission to just be met. So I walked down
Speaker 3: that runway in this sea through dress, in somebody's heels
Speaker 3: that I borrowed and throwing shuckers, high fiving people blowing kisses. Hey,
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm doing here. Of that, I'm
Speaker 3: having fun with this.
Speaker 1: Oh, and that energy would have been so infectious as
Speaker 1: compared to say, freaking out, stiff as a board, shuffling down,
Speaker 1: trying to do your best cat walk, you know, being
Speaker 1: someone else's catwalk model.
Speaker 2: So you were yourself, yeah.
Speaker 3: Well most of the models. I was myself. Most of
Speaker 3: the models, you know, had that serious face. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 3: this is so much classic. Everyone's excited for me. Someone
Speaker 3: came up to me afterwards and gave me the greatest compliment.
Speaker 3: They said, I have never seen anyone bring so much
Speaker 3: joy to the run ways. I thought, yes, I've done that.
Speaker 3: So when we come back to the concept around consistency
Speaker 3: and compassion, I was consistent with my approach to my
Speaker 3: health in the lead up to that. I didn't train harder,
Speaker 3: but I was more consistent with my alcohol intake, my
Speaker 3: sugar intake, and my protein intake. So I reduced sugar
Speaker 3: and alcohol and I increase protein. Now in the week
Speaker 3: before it, it was my best friend and business partner's
Speaker 3: fortieth birthday, and I enjoyed the alcohol. I enjoyed the margaritas,
Speaker 3: I enjoyed the sugar, So for three days I let
Speaker 3: myself go, but then for the week leading into it
Speaker 3: was disciplined. Again. I was consistent with my diet. So
Speaker 3: if we give ourselves too much of a hard time,
Speaker 3: we lose the compassion for ourselves, and then we lose
Speaker 3: the joy in life because all of it makes up
Speaker 3: who we are, and we just need to embrace the
Speaker 3: days that we just don't feel like it now. If
Speaker 3: you're looking for excuses, that's another issue in itself.
Speaker 1: It can be a slippery slope and be a bit
Speaker 1: of a trap if yeah, if you're searching for those excuses.
Speaker 3: And look, there's times when I've called my I train
Speaker 3: with a guy called Shannon Ponton, who you may remember
Speaker 3: from The Biggest Yeah.
Speaker 2: Michelle Bridges used to be my business partner.
Speaker 1: So yeah, twelve WV so yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: So ire in Shannon. You know, I text him the
Speaker 3: night before just to confirm we're training, And I texted
Speaker 3: him a couple of weeks ago and said, look, I'm exhausted.
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be in a moonboot. My body's worn out.
Speaker 3: I've had a massive week. I just don't feel like
Speaker 3: I can train tomorrow, and he said, let's just scale
Speaker 3: it back, you know, let's just meet you where you are.
Speaker 3: So when you've got a trainer that's willing to hear
Speaker 3: you but still hold you accountable, they're great people to
Speaker 3: work without.
Speaker 1: I think that is such an amazing trait of a
Speaker 1: trainer to be able to gauge where someone's at and
Speaker 1: even at the start of the session they might like,
Speaker 1: turn up going I'm just not feeling it. But then
Speaker 1: ten fifteen minutes in the lights come on and the
Speaker 1: trainer can.
Speaker 2: Hopefully go, all right, well, let's just do a little
Speaker 2: fast finish or not or not.
Speaker 1: Let's get the gun out and I'll give you a
Speaker 1: little ten minute massage because that's what your body needs today.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Ah, yeah, he gave me a massage. He did
Speaker 3: a whole lot of boxing because I love that and
Speaker 3: it's fun. And then we were still able to get
Speaker 3: through my regular program.
Speaker 1: And how did you feel afterwards compared to if you
Speaker 1: he'd said, no, yeah, fair enough, mate, just you know,
Speaker 1: don't come.
Speaker 3: I felt fantastic. I felt energized, I felt grateful, I
Speaker 3: felt supported, I felt strong, But then I also had
Speaker 3: to make sure that I went home and nourished my
Speaker 3: body and hydrated my body. And you know, put Vincent
Speaker 3: I did a little bit of time in the sauna
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 1: And there's circling back to that dream team analogy, like
Speaker 1: there's a beautiful example of your dream team catching you
Speaker 1: in a moment today just speaking to you. I think
Speaker 1: a trap I fall into is I've got to bear
Speaker 1: everything myself and I've got to take it all. And
Speaker 1: I think a big lesson for me, like having to
Speaker 1: do the hard things. It's not just about reaching down
Speaker 1: in me, but it's actually setting up my life around me,
Speaker 1: my dream team.
Speaker 2: You know, the time to do things. The recovery.
Speaker 1: There's no point pushing yourself if you haven't given yourself ample.
Speaker 2: Recovery as well.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you about another saying that I've
Speaker 1: heard you say, a mantra that you have, which is
Speaker 1: know yourself, grow yourself. I love it, by the way,
Speaker 1: but can you expand on what you mean by that?
Speaker 3: Well, just interestingly, you're talking about the expectation of the
Speaker 3: pressure you put on yourself to be able to do
Speaker 3: it all on your own. That's an extension of a
Speaker 3: childhood imprint. And yesterday on our podcast, we have our
Speaker 3: own podcast called a wake Up Call, and we interviewed
Speaker 3: a wonderful lady called Layolstone. Have you heard of Leiostone? No?
Speaker 3: I haven't, Okay, So she helps us uncover our childhood
Speaker 3: imprints and so we can free ourselves as the rules
Speaker 3: that we live our lives by that essentially aren't our own.
Speaker 3: They're essentially products of our childhood, which were products of
Speaker 3: your parents' childhood was the products of their childhood. So
Speaker 3: know yourself and grow yourself is essentially the more we
Speaker 3: know ourselves, the more we can grow ourselves. And growth
Speaker 3: is the only sign of life. So if we want
Speaker 3: to keep living our lives, we do need to keep
Speaker 3: being a little bit more introspective or reflective on what's
Speaker 3: going on. Otherwise we become triggers to the aspects of life,
Speaker 3: and then we become What I'm really talking about is
Speaker 3: it's the decisions that we make, not the conditions of
Speaker 3: our life, that determines the quality of our lives. And unfortunately,
Speaker 3: if we don't know ourselves well enough, we're constantly agitated
Speaker 3: or triggered by conditions.
Speaker 2: Conditions we're kind of reacting.
Speaker 3: We're reacting constantly in this reactionary mode and become we
Speaker 3: become victims, or we become bullies, or we become the
Speaker 3: worst version of ourselves, and we're consistently pushing and just
Speaker 3: you know, it's all too hard. So the more you
Speaker 3: get to know yourself, the more you get to love yourself,
Speaker 3: and the more you love yourself, the more you grow.
Speaker 3: That's where we're really coming from, and that's what the
Speaker 3: book is all about, is helping you identify who you are,
Speaker 3: then you can create who you want to be from there.
Speaker 1: I love your book. I love the cover. I love
Speaker 1: how bright and uplifting it is. It just kind of
Speaker 1: leapt off the shelf at me. It just it looks brilliant.
Speaker 1: So highly recommend it to my beautiful listeners. And Lane, look,
Speaker 1: I could talk to you all day, but I just
Speaker 1: want to wrap up with a final question.
Speaker 2: Today's episode is really.
Speaker 1: About finding that motivation to do the hard thing. So
Speaker 1: for a woman listening to this who really does want
Speaker 1: to feel more motivated, wants to feel inspired to do
Speaker 1: the hard stuff, what is one parting message that you
Speaker 1: have for her, maybe even something she could go and
Speaker 1: do or consider as her best next step.
Speaker 3: Start small. I think a lot of us have a
Speaker 3: list to do list of all the things that we
Speaker 3: want to do that are really hard, and then just
Speaker 3: looking at that list is overwhelming. So start with like,
Speaker 3: wipe the list clean and just write one thing so
Speaker 3: we we inspire and motivate people just to wipe that
Speaker 3: slate clean and just pick the one hard thing that
Speaker 3: they know is going to transform their relationship with themselves.
Speaker 3: So it can be for example, finding a personal trainer
Speaker 3: and sharing with them what you want to achieve. It
Speaker 3: can be as simple as I'm going to get up
Speaker 3: ten minutes earlier to meditate each and every day, or
Speaker 3: I'm going to ensure that I drink enough water every day.
Speaker 1: But even to your point about the meditation, even if
Speaker 1: it's I'm going to wake up one morning a week
Speaker 1: for ten minutes to meditate, doesn't have to be every day,
Speaker 1: but may I can do one day where I can't
Speaker 1: do every day, but I could do one morning a
Speaker 1: week extra ten minutes early.
Speaker 3: And that will make a signific can impact. The biggest
Speaker 3: lesson that I've learned from asking people to do something
Speaker 3: or actually even myself doing something differently is to then
Speaker 3: connect with how it makes you feel. Because it's the
Speaker 3: feeling that will inspire you to do it again. If
Speaker 3: the feeling is positive and empowering, uplifting, then that will
Speaker 3: inspire you to it again. So I think actually the
Speaker 3: easiest thing that we can all do is take a
Speaker 3: five minute sunshine break at least once a day.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and the sunrises have been so magnificent and
Speaker 1: the sunsets just lately here in Sydney.
Speaker 2: That is not a hard thing to do.
Speaker 1: It's as yesterday morning at the coffee cart in Avalon. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it was like it was like something out of otherworldly
Speaker 1: the sunrise was or everyone standing there, someone had tears
Speaker 1: in their eyes.
Speaker 2: It was really.
Speaker 3: So sunrise, sunset, or at least get away from the
Speaker 3: from the desk and that you lunch outside. But just
Speaker 3: get at least one five minute sunshine break every day,
Speaker 3: because that will really rejuvenate yourself.
Speaker 1: Lamee Beachley, you have over delivered exact as you are.
Speaker 1: I have just had so many unlocks in today's conversation.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for your time, pleasure Remelio, thank you.
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