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Speaker 1: Approach a production for the record.

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Speaker 2: I don't try and make you uncomfortable for the record.

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Speaker 2: You ain't trying to world down stuff for your for

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Speaker 2: the record, laugh on me going hard away for the record.

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Speaker 2: Ain't trying to link, No trying to waste for the record.

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Speaker 3: For the record, for the for the record, for the

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Speaker 3: red for the record, record.

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Speaker 1: For the record. I don't try and make you uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the Clink. What a fantastic episode one

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Speaker 1: was with Matt. I am just so grateful and honored.

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Speaker 1: This season is lining up to be the best, and

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Speaker 1: I can tell you now each guest is going to

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Speaker 1: bring something amazing to this podcast and everybody will be

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Speaker 1: able to take something from each journey. Today, I have

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Speaker 1: an amazing man. This man is doing huge things in

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Speaker 1: mental health, space, better lifestyles and living. He is a

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Speaker 1: wonderful man who has come not only from hitting rock

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Speaker 1: bottom to becoming someone amazing in this world, but he

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Speaker 1: is out the front leading in his space. His name

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Speaker 1: is wah and here is from a men's men's mental

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Speaker 1: health movement. Slap me in the face, brother, if I'm

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Speaker 1: wrong for saying that. That's perfect, brother. Welcome very pleasure

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Speaker 1: to be here, my brother, I can't help but be

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Speaker 1: a little bit nervous in your presence. This has been

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Speaker 1: a build up and I very rarely get uncomfortable, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes you get to get uncomfortable to be comfortable. You're

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Speaker 1: an amazing man. You really are. Been following your journey

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Speaker 1: now for quite some time. We have some mutual friends

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Speaker 1: and cans that I've been able to sort of learn

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Speaker 1: a bit about who you are. I actually believe we

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Speaker 1: cross paths quite a few years ago through some mutual

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Speaker 1: people and situations, and both our lives have definitely taken

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Speaker 1: different directions in a positive way. Thank you for making

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Speaker 1: the effort to come up from down the coast. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to the Clink.

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Speaker 4: It's a pleasure to be here. And you mentioned we've

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Speaker 4: got some mutual friends. When those mutual friends mentioned your name,

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Speaker 4: just through my connection with him, I was like, yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 4: And then watching your journey and how you speak about

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Speaker 4: it on social media, it's like I can't wait to

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Speaker 4: actually connect with the bro.

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Speaker 1: So I really appreciate that. I try to keep things

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Speaker 1: pretty raw, pretty real. I don't like to sugarcoat anything,

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Speaker 1: and that doesn't always please everyone. Being vulnerable comes at

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Speaker 1: a cost sometimes, But as I say, you know, like

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Speaker 1: I'm not here for the clout and I'm not here

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Speaker 1: for the pats on the back. I have a life

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Speaker 1: that I've lived at forty nine years of age that

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Speaker 1: I'm blessed to be sitting here now having this conversation

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Speaker 1: with yourself. Less to be a father of four amazing

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Speaker 1: young children, blessed to be sitting just as a free man.

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Speaker 1: And I know that your journey is very much similar

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Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, your choices and the direction

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Speaker 1: that you've taken in your life. Let's give a bit

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Speaker 1: of context to wah and where it all began for

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Speaker 1: you and what it was like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, I guess to give context to the people

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Speaker 4: that have listened that, and I've listened to another podcasts

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Speaker 4: that I've been on. You know, I grew up in

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Speaker 4: a home there was lots of violence. It was physical abuse,

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Speaker 4: it was sexual abuse, it was emotional abuse. You know,

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Speaker 4: there's many times that you know, our mum took us

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Speaker 4: out of that home and I thought, oh, this is

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Speaker 4: that we're safe now, and then to be taken back

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Speaker 4: into that home where there was again there was all

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Speaker 4: that stuff. I was like, hang on, we're not supposed

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Speaker 4: to be here. I heard you telling you and us,

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Speaker 4: so we're not going back again. So I lost trust

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Speaker 4: and all the adults that were supposed to keep us safe.

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Speaker 4: I promised myself, I said, I'm never going to live

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Speaker 4: this life when I'm an adult. I can't wait to

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Speaker 4: move out. And I moved out when I was fifteen

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Speaker 4: years old, and I promised myself that I wouldn't relive

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Speaker 4: all these childhood experiences, and unfortunately broth that's exactly what

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Speaker 4: I did. I really loved all the violence or the trauma,

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Speaker 4: and I actually started creating it myself, thankfully, you know,

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Speaker 4: with all my knowledge and the work that I've done

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Speaker 4: on myself. And I understand why. And that's why the

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Speaker 4: work that I do means so much to me, because

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Speaker 4: it doesn't matter. If you want change, you've actually got

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Speaker 4: to create change yourself. And it's not as easy as

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Speaker 4: some people might think.

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Speaker 1: And if I may touch on a few things here

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Speaker 1: and please to you guys listening out there, something that

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Speaker 1: I always do is want to be conscious of the listener.

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Speaker 1: If you feel triggered, reach out if you need to

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Speaker 1: talk to somebody, Because our conversation here initially is going

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Speaker 1: to be quite deep. I'm a survivor of child's sexual

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Speaker 1: abuse and happy to talk openly about it. You mentioned

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Speaker 1: that that was within the safe space of your living

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Speaker 1: and upbringing as well. You touch on the choices traumas

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Speaker 1: as well, and for me, it took a lot to

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Speaker 1: be able to even talk about it. You know, you

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Speaker 1: yourself wore a mask for many, many years and was

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Speaker 1: this back in New Zealand.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, back so I grew up in New Zealand. I've

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Speaker 4: been living in Australia for seventeen years now. I've actually

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Speaker 4: got Australia tattooed on my leg. And my reason for

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Speaker 4: that is, you know, symbolized when my life changed, because

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Speaker 4: I moved from city to city in New Zealand, hoping

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Speaker 4: that I was running away from all that hurting, that pain.

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Speaker 4: But unfortunately, you know, I was just creating more hurt

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Speaker 4: and pain in the new city that I was going to. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it was a new country, but there's a different energy

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Speaker 4: over here, there's a different mindset, and I realized that

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Speaker 4: quite quickly people didn't want to fight me. When people

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Speaker 4: didn't want to fight me, I had no resistance anymore.

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Speaker 4: So I only had myself to fight, and when I

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Speaker 4: was able to move there at resistance, I was then

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Speaker 4: started looking past the fight and go, fuck, what's actually

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Speaker 4: there and addressed all that hurt and that pain. So

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Speaker 4: all that stuff that I was talking about in my

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Speaker 4: earlier years of life happened back in New Zealand.

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Speaker 1: New Zealand. And I've done a lot of work with

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Speaker 1: some wonderful people over in New Zealand at the moment

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Speaker 1: that are working in this space, and they're bringing a

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Speaker 1: lot up you being a product of that environment and

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Speaker 1: those experiences. Only now, and I didn't only realize this

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Speaker 1: till recently, how large a percentage it was that the

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Speaker 1: abuse sexual assault within homes families was in New Zealand

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Speaker 1: per capita. It's the highest, I think in the world,

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Speaker 1: and quite me if I'm wrong, I believe it's up there,

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Speaker 1: isn't it.

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Speaker 4: For Yeah, I don't know the exact statistics on that. However,

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Speaker 4: I do know it's high because there was a point

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Speaker 4: in time where I can't remember the exact year, but

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Speaker 4: it was every six and ten childs by the age

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Speaker 4: of eight has experienced sexual abuse.

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Speaker 1: We don't have a choice when we're young. With that culture,

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Speaker 1: New Zealand is very well known for gang activity and

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Speaker 1: the generational role on effect father son, uncle, grandfather. I

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Speaker 1: mean goodness, there's members in certain crew over there that

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Speaker 1: are just so deeply embedded in the roots of family

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Speaker 1: that that's all they know. Was that something also a

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Speaker 1: part of and around your upbringing?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was very familiar and very common. Bro. There

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Speaker 4: were petures at our house every single day. But I

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Speaker 4: still today feel safe in that environment.

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Speaker 1: You do, don't you because it becomes just like I

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Speaker 1: have a thing where it doesn't matter where I go.

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Speaker 1: I'll always go into the depths of the worst places,

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Speaker 1: and I do it with a smile, comfortable, relaxed. I

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Speaker 1: feel more relaxed in those environments than what I do

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Speaker 1: walking through the main street of the city. My anxiety

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Speaker 1: through the roof. But I can be at peace in

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Speaker 1: these scary places where you shouldn't be.

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Speaker 4: I resonate with that, bro. You know, We've been into

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Speaker 4: gang headquarters and work with fifty gang members all in

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Speaker 4: the same space. And I've also worked in schools where

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Speaker 4: I've worked with fifty school teachers. But I feel more

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Speaker 4: accepted in the space with the game members than I

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Speaker 4: do the teachers and it comes from my childhood because

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Speaker 4: that's what was more familiar to me. I still feel

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Speaker 4: more accepted there and I feel less than in this

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Speaker 4: other space, so that all that space is doing is

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Speaker 4: mirroring back parts of me that just needs a more

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Speaker 4: nurturing and love.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel that. I don't like to be labeled

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Speaker 1: as a productive in my environment, but I'm blessed and

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Speaker 1: grateful no matter what the traumas have been to have

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Speaker 1: experienced and lived in these type of worlds. For example, me,

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Speaker 1: I was within an indigenous community growing up what they

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Speaker 1: would call a mission. As a white fellow, I literally

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Speaker 1: had to fight to keep my volleys on my feet,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I had volleys because I had nothing,

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Speaker 1: you know. And then by the age of ten, I'm homeless,

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Speaker 1: living on the streets, vulnerable as a broken young child

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Speaker 1: who totally just torn apart. Everything is supposed to be

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Speaker 1: sacred taken from me. You just adapt, you survive. How

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Speaker 1: do you see that that's developed you to become the

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Speaker 1: man you are today from those moments in your life.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, in the past two years, I can

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Speaker 4: hand on my heart, you know, stand there and say

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Speaker 4: I love the person I am today, Like genuinely. All

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Speaker 4: parts of me and the person I am today required

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Speaker 4: every single experience that I've ever been through. So therefore

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Speaker 4: I'm grateful for all of them, including the really tough ones.

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Speaker 4: I look at all those experiences and say thank you,

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Speaker 4: and I look at an experience and say thank you,

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Speaker 4: and I guess we're find being logical sense to that.

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Speaker 4: When I'm connecting with people, most of the time, it's

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Speaker 4: from a place of experience, not from a place of

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Speaker 4: knowing like I understood I read it in a book. No, No,

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Speaker 4: I've been through that too, bro. So that gives me

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Speaker 4: a deeper connection to people. So therefore I'm able to

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Speaker 4: support them in a different way than other people might

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Speaker 4: be able to.

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Speaker 1: I feel that that's a gift. You know, Jeremy Donovan

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Speaker 1: and I are another wonderful man. I'm not sure if

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Speaker 1: you know Jeremy. He's an Indigenous man who's just phenomenal

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Speaker 1: and amazing experience, the original Redfern, you know, city boy,

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Speaker 1: through the whole drug scene. He's been to, you know,

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Speaker 1: some of the most highest levels of government in the world,

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Speaker 1: to represent Australia and anyway, we went up to Townsville,

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Speaker 1: did some workshops for a week together and volunteered our

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Speaker 1: time and we directly went out into the community to

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Speaker 1: engage with these young people whom they say are troublesome.

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Speaker 1: You know, when we pulled it all apart, they're not

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Speaker 1: the problem. It's the structure, the parents, the leaders in

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Speaker 1: the community that are the problem because they're not going

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Speaker 1: back and asking how do we fix this? They're band

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Speaker 1: aiding everything and then blaming the government steps in and says, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's somebody else's problem, and this is why

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Speaker 1: you're doing things that are making change, like in a

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Speaker 1: really large scale. And I mean that naturally you've started

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Speaker 1: off in a small but now you're international. How have

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Speaker 1: you seen and felt being in those environments where you

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Speaker 1: know that what you're bringing to the table, by the

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Speaker 1: time you walk out of that room, that you've had

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Speaker 1: such an impact that you are going to make a difference.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it makes me feel really proud of myself. And

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Speaker 4: you know, to some people that might say, oh, it's

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Speaker 4: just he's proud of yourself. But when you talk about

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Speaker 4: that sentence, that's the sentence that I wanted to hear

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Speaker 4: from my dad as a child that I very rarely

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Speaker 4: have ever heard I'm meeting those unmet needs of that

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Speaker 4: little boy aka myself. So it feels fucking good.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 4: The beautiful thing is, I'm now connected to this work

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Speaker 4: because there was a time that I was actually attached

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Speaker 4: to it, going into these rooms and making such big impact.

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Speaker 4: I was attached to it like I needed it. And

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Speaker 4: when there was a long space in between workshops or programs,

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Speaker 4: I'd found myself lost, and I'd find myself in bed

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Speaker 4: and not wanting to get up out of bed, and

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Speaker 4: then the other opposite when I'm in the workshops all

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Speaker 4: the programs, but I'd lost connection with my children because

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Speaker 4: I was so focused on this and getting all the

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Speaker 4: attention and so proud of me, and they loved me

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Speaker 4: the things that I didn't get as a little boy.

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Speaker 4: So when I realized this, I get to take a

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Speaker 4: step back, and those things that are being met when

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Speaker 4: I'm in these rooms, I actually need to start meeting

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Speaker 4: those myself. And when I was able to, ah, I

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Speaker 4: lose the attachment now and I'm connected to the work

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Speaker 4: one I'm more powerful, but I don't need the work

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Speaker 4: anymore because I've got myself.

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Speaker 1: And you touch on family, You're a proud family man.

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Speaker 1: You know, I always vowed to always have my wrongs

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Speaker 1: be my children's rights, and nothing sugarcoated in our house.

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Speaker 1: They know who their dad is. They know who their

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Speaker 1: dad was as in past history. And I'm blessed to

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Speaker 1: say that the four of my children are doing pretty

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Speaker 1: bloody good, all achieving some great things, and we have

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Speaker 1: open table conversations, and I love it because that was

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Speaker 1: something like yourself I'm sure never had the opportunity to do. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: with work, it's hard because we all have to put

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Speaker 1: food on the table and we need to be present

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Speaker 1: to be able to provide. But you talk about family,

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Speaker 1: I've realized after making the mistakes, making some bad choices,

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Speaker 1: learning to be a dad with my twenty six year old,

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Speaker 1: whom I rarely hear from. But I have four beautiful children,

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Speaker 1: but three that I'm actually physically present with, and I'm

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Speaker 1: a dad. I don't miss their sporting events. I have

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Speaker 1: this thing where all I ask of them is just

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Speaker 1: to be one percent better each day. That's it. I

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Speaker 1: don't want you to come home and tell me you

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Speaker 1: won the race. Just tell me you how to go

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Speaker 1: in the race. And if you can give me that

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Speaker 1: each day, that to me is growth. I didn't have that.

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Speaker 1: You didn't have that. No, how do you find being

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Speaker 1: dad and being that family?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? I love being a dad. I love being a grandfather.

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Speaker 4: Stop there, my granddaughter's a year and a half old.

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Speaker 4: God bless yeah a men, right, Well, how are you somewhere? Wow?

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Speaker 1: Some I'm ten years older than yah, and you're already

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Speaker 1: your grandfather. Lord.

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Speaker 4: Big family. Uh, I've got six so let there's six

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Speaker 4: of us. Yeah. And then I've got three children alone

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Speaker 4: and then a granddaughter. My oldest son's twenty one, my

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Speaker 4: daughter's twenty, and my son's seventeen. So my daughter's got

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Speaker 4: a daughter.

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Speaker 1: Wow. And all adults so adults able now to sit

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Speaker 1: like properly down and engage in had out conversations.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was really interesting.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 4: I had a conversation with one of my bros. The

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Speaker 4: other day. I said, I'm so well versed in the

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Speaker 4: work now, and I understand myself so deeply that it's

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Speaker 4: embodied and it just happens automatically now. And now my

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Speaker 4: tensions too to my children because I remember, for the

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Speaker 4: most part of their life they had a dad who

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Speaker 4: didn't understand themselves. So through the non understanding of myself.

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Speaker 4: I projected all my patterns from that version of me

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Speaker 4: onto them, and I'm now having to sit and help

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Speaker 4: them understand what they're not understanding about themselves. That I

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Speaker 4: wasn't able to teach them and that part of my

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Speaker 4: life or part of being their father.

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Speaker 1: But you didn't have an educator. You have somebody to

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Speaker 1: give you those tools.

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Speaker 4: I was very blessed.

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Speaker 1: Bro.

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Speaker 4: When I was fourteen, I got kicked out of school

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Speaker 4: and there was this teacher. If a mildy teacher had

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Speaker 4: come up to me, I would have listened, because in

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Speaker 4: our culture.

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Speaker 1: You listen it's an elder speaking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, But he was white teacher, blonde hair, and thankfully

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Speaker 4: he had seen good in me, and at that time

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Speaker 4: my life, I didn't even see good in me. And

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Speaker 4: me and me five mates, wet and kicked out of school.

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Speaker 4: And he told me this, and he said, do you

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Speaker 4: want my help? I've talked to the principle. If you

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Speaker 4: accept my help, he's going to keep you here. And

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Speaker 4: my response was I don't need help from no white

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Speaker 4: boy and walked off. Thankfully, he went back to the

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Speaker 4: headmaster at the times said yep, he accepted. So I

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Speaker 4: was able to stay at school. Did you know that

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Speaker 4: at the time, I didn't. I didn't until later on

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Speaker 4: when we build a relationship. I was going to say,

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Speaker 4: and you have since I be seeing Gates. Oh, I

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Speaker 4: celebrated that he's still a very big part of my

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Speaker 4: life and without Humbro, my life could have looked very

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Speaker 4: different because you.

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Speaker 1: Were mentor would you call him a more father figure?

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Speaker 4: Even I would say as much as my dad wasn't

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Speaker 4: the most positive role model all the time in my life,

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Speaker 4: he was always my dad, like he was always there.

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Speaker 4: He might not have been there emotionally and done lots

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Speaker 4: of things that were detrimental, but I had a dad,

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Speaker 4: So I wouldn't say father figure. But I would say

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Speaker 4: mental for sure. Because I started playing rugby shred out

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Speaker 4: of school as a job, and you did quite well,

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Speaker 4: didn't It was rugby year. Yeah, so that's what I

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Speaker 4: was doing for jobs, shred of school eighteen years old.

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Speaker 1: Can we talk about that for a second, because I

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Speaker 1: think that's really awesome, you know, because I think this

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Speaker 1: is where we lose a lot of My youngest son

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Speaker 1: is two of my two sons are both in the

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Speaker 1: Excellence programs and one's about to go into South Coast

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Speaker 1: Carnival and the other ones starting lock for the Red's

334
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Speaker 1: Division side in PBC. You in his third year. So,

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Speaker 1: but one thing I've tried to instill in them is

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Speaker 1: it's education. You can be the greatest athlete, but it

337
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Speaker 1: can be taken from you at any time. We educate

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Speaker 1: the brain. There's nothing we can't do for you. A

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Speaker 1: gifted man with a great opportunity. Eighteen and you were

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Speaker 1: being to play.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. When I was pre five years old, my old

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Speaker 4: man was a pretty decent footy player. Unfortunately, he liked

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Speaker 4: all the party and stuff as well, so never went

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Speaker 4: as far as he probably should have. An agreement that

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Speaker 4: he made for my mum is that he would take

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Speaker 4: me and my brother footy. So two three years old,

348
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Speaker 4: wear at footy trainings twice a week games every year.

349
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Speaker 4: Rugby League's my old man rugby league, and then me

350
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Speaker 4: and my brother ended up playing union. You know, straight

351
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Speaker 4: out of school. I was playing for Waikido, which is

352
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Speaker 4: a provincial team. You know, at the time you're not

353
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Speaker 4: supposed to pay players, but I was getting paid to

354
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Speaker 4: play club rugby, so I had no expenses. I was

355
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Speaker 4: this young eighteen year old kid everything was paid for,

356
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Speaker 4: getting played by my provincial and then just you know,

357
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Speaker 4: you know, they talked about I didn't want to become

358
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Speaker 4: my dad. I became my dad and got myself in

359
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Speaker 4: the front page of the newspaper domestic violence. Rugby player

360
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Speaker 4: gets aid of anger problem and I still couldn't control

361
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Speaker 4: my temper and I was still going around heading people.

362
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Speaker 4: And I was so embarrassed by this. I rung my

363
00:18:01,041 --> 00:18:02,360
Speaker 4: rugby manage at the time. I said I need to

364
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Speaker 4: get out of here, and he's like, what do you

365
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Speaker 4: want to do? And I said, I can't be in

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Speaker 4: this place anymore.

367
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Speaker 1: Well, your face is everywhere now, yeah, you knows who

368
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Speaker 1: you are and your business.

369
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Speaker 4: He got me connected with the Reds over here. Came

370
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Speaker 4: over here, I was playing for a Gold Coast team

371
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Speaker 4: and training with the Reds. But then only three months later,

372
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Speaker 4: I was in the Gold Coast cancer would need a

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Speaker 4: bone marry transplant.

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Speaker 1: Say that again.

375
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Speaker 4: Yeah, so three months after being here, I ended up

376
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Speaker 4: really sick. I needed a bone marry transplant and wow,

377
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Speaker 4: that was the end of my well it was actually

378
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Speaker 4: it was at the beginning of my life. And I

379
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Speaker 4: say that because rugby came before everything, even my children

380
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Speaker 4: as much as I love my children, Rugby was first.

381
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Speaker 1: Do you think because that was going to be putting

382
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Speaker 1: the bread and butter on the plates, you know, like

383
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Speaker 1: it was a priority that you made sure that you

384
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Speaker 1: provided or was probably not so much more selfish within

385
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Speaker 1: you at the time.

386
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Speaker 4: Yeah, probably not so much providing for my family and

387
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Speaker 4: more so just wanting my dad to love me. And

388
00:18:56,241 --> 00:18:58,401
Speaker 4: I realized that I when I had a good game

389
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 4: of footage, he just showered me in love. So I

390
00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 4: was like, I've just got to be the best rugby

391
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Speaker 4: player I can to get the thing that I'm not

392
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Speaker 4: receiving that I want most. Why I say that that

393
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Speaker 4: was the start of my life is because it took

394
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Speaker 4: my focus away from the importance of football and go Actually,

395
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Speaker 4: life's way more important than the thing that I call rugby,

396
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:18,360
Speaker 4: you know, just waking up every day I'm actually grateful

397
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,001
Speaker 4: for because that nearly got taken away from me. So

398
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 4: I spent nine months in hospital getting treatment because my

399
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 4: siblings went in a bow marry match. And then my

400
00:19:26,761 --> 00:19:29,281
Speaker 4: focus changed and that's really where the work that I

401
00:19:29,321 --> 00:19:32,440
Speaker 4: do today started. I reflected and said, fuck, I'm going

402
00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:34,961
Speaker 4: to get a job now, what the hell because I'm

403
00:19:34,961 --> 00:19:37,001
Speaker 4: never going to play footay again, said what I want

404
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Speaker 4: to do, And the first thing that came to mind

405
00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:41,641
Speaker 4: was that teacher. I said, that dude help me when

406
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,360
Speaker 4: I had no one else. I said, I want to

407
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 4: be that for someone else. So I went on Google

408
00:19:46,241 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 4: seek found a job working with children being taken off

409
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,961
Speaker 4: their parents and put into the Department of Trobal Safety.

410
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,561
Speaker 4: I did that job for five years, but I absolutely

411
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Speaker 4: loved it, and I got put with all the toughest kids.

412
00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,201
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was my criminal history because of the Game

413
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 1: of life and serious charges. Nothing to women or children

414
00:20:03,761 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 1: that would be relative to not get but because it

415
00:20:06,001 --> 00:20:09,881
Speaker 1: was drugs guns, but we could continue on. But anyway,

416
00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:12,561
Speaker 1: it was very difficult. So I've always had to find

417
00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 1: that loophole to give back, which I did. I volunteered

418
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 1: for nearly five years with Project Booya and the Rise Program,

419
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Speaker 1: and I got a lot of satisfaction out of coming

420
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Speaker 1: into these ten and twelve week programs for a day

421
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,921
Speaker 1: and they know just a little bit about me because

422
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:30,321
Speaker 1: there's a few documentaries done. So then when I walked

423
00:20:30,321 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 1: through the door, the expectations, Oh, but it broke that

424
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:38,120
Speaker 1: ice because they realized that I got it. And you

425
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,720
Speaker 1: look around the around I'm sure that you would have

426
00:20:39,761 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 1: seen yourself. There's always the alpha player in the group.

427
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,001
Speaker 1: You know, he's on the bungers as he was the

428
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 1: vake things. You know, he's pushing around a fly, kicking

429
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,561
Speaker 1: the kids. By the end of it, they're all in tears,

430
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 1: hugging each other, realizing they're no different. They're all on

431
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,241
Speaker 1: the same journey man, and some of them have got

432
00:21:00,281 --> 00:21:03,840
Speaker 1: it some pretty tough times ahead. But for that moment

433
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,561
Speaker 1: they can feel accepted. But I believe that can only

434
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:13,400
Speaker 1: be given from a facilitator of a friend that has

435
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:15,921
Speaker 1: lived that yeah.

436
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, because we have experienced to the deepest degree non acceptance.

437
00:21:20,041 --> 00:21:22,801
Speaker 4: So when they're playing in behaviors of non acceptance, rather

438
00:21:22,801 --> 00:21:25,121
Speaker 4: than me judging them or punishing them, I just get

439
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 4: curious and say, what's actually below that? And then I

440
00:21:28,201 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 4: start opening up questions or setting up things where I'm

441
00:21:31,201 --> 00:21:33,561
Speaker 4: actually speaking to that person over there to get to

442
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 4: the like to get curious about what's there, and eventually

443
00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:38,721
Speaker 4: it comes up. And then when you speak to that

444
00:21:39,001 --> 00:21:41,001
Speaker 4: unmet need of that little boy or that get to

445
00:21:41,041 --> 00:21:44,641
Speaker 4: that curiosity like, oh shit, this person's had the part

446
00:21:44,681 --> 00:21:46,761
Speaker 4: of me that no one else ever has been able

447
00:21:46,801 --> 00:21:48,640
Speaker 4: to any reason why I can do this because that

448
00:21:48,721 --> 00:21:49,880
Speaker 4: used to be me sitting in that seat.

449
00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:54,081
Speaker 1: Wow, you got me. You know, sometimes you meet somebody

450
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,761
Speaker 1: that you resonate with. Then I was shocked when you

451
00:21:56,801 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: walked in the room, Like I see you online and

452
00:21:59,521 --> 00:22:01,201
Speaker 1: you know, I've seen photos and I know that you're

453
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:04,281
Speaker 1: very healthy. I'm looking man, but you're a very staunch,

454
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,761
Speaker 1: strong man, you know what I mean. But you're so

455
00:22:06,921 --> 00:22:10,481
Speaker 1: gentle in your area and you're you can feel by

456
00:22:10,521 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: being present with you, that shift from when you speak

457
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: of that hurt young man being that extroverted aggressor the

458
00:22:19,561 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 1: violent man. I can see that, but I can just

459
00:22:22,921 --> 00:22:25,521
Speaker 1: see this. I want to give you a hug, do

460
00:22:25,521 --> 00:22:28,401
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Take that for what it is,

461
00:22:28,441 --> 00:22:31,401
Speaker 1: But that's the feeling that I get by your presence.

462
00:22:32,521 --> 00:22:34,481
Speaker 1: How does it feel when you walk into a room,

463
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 1: for example, with some young men, when you're looking in

464
00:22:37,721 --> 00:22:39,240
Speaker 1: the mirror and thinking, oh, it was once one of

465
00:22:39,241 --> 00:22:41,561
Speaker 1: you guys, and they look at you and there far

466
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,281
Speaker 1: out and this guy's he's a beast. Because that's what

467
00:22:45,321 --> 00:22:49,961
Speaker 1: you get. But then you delivering and you're connecting and speaking,

468
00:22:51,681 --> 00:22:54,121
Speaker 1: like I feel the calmest. How does that go across

469
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:54,881
Speaker 1: when you're doing that.

470
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,321
Speaker 4: In a group, you know, and from my experience, it

471
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,321
Speaker 4: works really well for me and for other people too.

472
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:03,401
Speaker 4: You know, I think we all judge people on their appearance.

473
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 4: At the moment I see someone, I make one or

474
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:09,281
Speaker 4: two or three judgments quite quickly when someone's really strong,

475
00:23:09,441 --> 00:23:13,401
Speaker 4: looking or healthy. We make judgments that are actually assumptions,

476
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 4: and that can get us buy in or buy out

477
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 4: in any room. So I do use it to my advantage,

478
00:23:20,201 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 4: and then I come in with a softer energy to say, hey,

479
00:23:23,281 --> 00:23:25,321
Speaker 4: I'm here to sit with you next year, as opposed

480
00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 4: to from a podium and speak to you, because I

481
00:23:28,001 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 4: know when I was if anyone spoke to me from

482
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 4: a podium, I was like, get fucked. There's absolutely no

483
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,400
Speaker 4: way or listen to anyone as they come to me

484
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,001
Speaker 4: from a podium status. So you know, again we come

485
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:40,041
Speaker 4: back then you know this better than anyone when we

486
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 4: go from our place of experience, And how would have

487
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 4: I felt if someone was walking.

488
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,121
Speaker 1: To this room.

489
00:23:44,921 --> 00:23:47,680
Speaker 4: We're able to be with the people as opposed to

490
00:23:47,721 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 4: being above the people walking side by side, And for me,

491
00:23:52,001 --> 00:23:54,400
Speaker 4: I want to empower people like self empower them. I

492
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,281
Speaker 4: don't want you to be empowered because of me. I

493
00:23:56,321 --> 00:23:58,801
Speaker 4: don't want to be empowered because of this workshop. So

494
00:23:58,921 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 4: anything that we do today is actually because of you,

495
00:24:00,761 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 4: nothing to do with us. We just created a space

496
00:24:02,921 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 4: and you've done all the work.

497
00:24:05,041 --> 00:24:07,961
Speaker 1: Can you deliver, And I've seen some of your short

498
00:24:09,001 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 1: reels and stuff that you can come across quite for long.

499
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:15,761
Speaker 1: You hit hard with your message, hence me being a

500
00:24:15,801 --> 00:24:18,880
Speaker 1: little taken back by this gentle soul that I'm sitting

501
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,401
Speaker 1: with right now. I don't know what I expected. I

502
00:24:22,441 --> 00:24:26,961
Speaker 1: know what I thought right here right now is totally

503
00:24:27,281 --> 00:24:32,761
Speaker 1: a flip. Firstly, thank you, because I can feel your

504
00:24:32,921 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 1: energy and all calming me, like I've just come off

505
00:24:35,681 --> 00:24:38,761
Speaker 1: a two hour recording, you know, the drive up here.

506
00:24:38,801 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: There was a little bit of anxiety this morning. I

507
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: actually feel like I'm a total peace, beautiful, just so

508
00:24:44,761 --> 00:24:45,880
Speaker 1: calm and cooled right now.

509
00:24:45,921 --> 00:24:48,001
Speaker 4: I could probably have a nap.

510
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,360
Speaker 1: You hit pretty hard in what you say, and it's

511
00:24:50,441 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: not always this quiet voiced me.

512
00:24:52,761 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and we all know. The whole world knows that.

513
00:24:55,681 --> 00:24:57,961
Speaker 4: You know, sometimes you might see fifteen seconds of eight

514
00:24:57,961 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 4: hours or fifteen seconds off someone's twenty four hours we

515
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,001
Speaker 4: all make and I do make judgment on that too,

516
00:25:03,801 --> 00:25:06,041
Speaker 4: and often we'll put out a real that is hard

517
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,921
Speaker 4: hurting as it makes people listen. Hopefully it has people listen.

518
00:25:08,961 --> 00:25:09,281
Speaker 1: Sorry.

519
00:25:10,001 --> 00:25:12,441
Speaker 4: And you know, there's two subjects that I get really

520
00:25:12,481 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 4: passionate about, and maybe those are the ones you've seen.

521
00:25:15,481 --> 00:25:17,041
Speaker 4: And that's a man in the way he treats a

522
00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 4: woman woman.

523
00:25:17,761 --> 00:25:19,761
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm glad you brought this up here because this

524
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 1: was something I was going to talk about.

525
00:25:21,561 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, but please continue. And the other one as a

526
00:25:24,521 --> 00:25:26,721
Speaker 4: man in the way he creates safety for his children.

527
00:25:27,321 --> 00:25:30,001
Speaker 4: And I speak to that from both sides of the

528
00:25:30,041 --> 00:25:34,001
Speaker 4: coin because I was a fucking shit man to woman, yep,

529
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:37,481
Speaker 4: And I was a very unsafe space to children. And

530
00:25:37,521 --> 00:25:39,321
Speaker 4: I've done the work that I've been I'm able to

531
00:25:39,441 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 4: I was able to flip that script, and it's like, brothers,

532
00:25:41,801 --> 00:25:44,360
Speaker 4: I understand the hurting, the pain, and the confusion over

533
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:47,761
Speaker 4: this side, and we do get to do the work

534
00:25:47,801 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 4: and take extreme ownership of where we're currently out so

535
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 4: that we can get to the other side and be

536
00:25:52,201 --> 00:25:54,881
Speaker 4: what we say we are to these people. I love

537
00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:57,441
Speaker 4: my partner, I love my children, will fucking show them.

538
00:25:57,721 --> 00:25:59,761
Speaker 4: So I think that's mate. I get quite passionate about

539
00:25:59,761 --> 00:26:01,640
Speaker 4: this stuff, and a lot of that is because it

540
00:26:01,681 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 4: was my own stuff.

541
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,041
Speaker 1: I look in the mirror and I have to say

542
00:26:05,041 --> 00:26:08,920
Speaker 1: I'm guilty of the devil's tongue. I think that's my

543
00:26:08,961 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: biggest downfall with in my home my space is not

544
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:17,281
Speaker 1: taking a moment to breathe, process and find a peaceful resolution.

545
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,641
Speaker 1: I'm very quick to react at the time what comes out.

546
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 1: I have to own it. I mean, it's they're my words.

547
00:26:25,321 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 1: Is it acceptable? Can it be belittling and disgusting? Especially

548
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 1: in conflict with your wife or your partner or adult children.

549
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,241
Speaker 1: That might really piss you off and you start cursing

550
00:26:34,281 --> 00:26:38,321
Speaker 1: and carrying on in a way that's dominant. I guess

551
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:42,481
Speaker 1: for me, I was always flogged. You neveroke back, you

552
00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:46,401
Speaker 1: got lifted. We don't do that at all. It's unacceptable

553
00:26:46,441 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: in any way. It was unacceptable back then. But very

554
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 1: very conscious and as are our children of their rights

555
00:26:52,481 --> 00:26:54,321
Speaker 1: these days. And my words though, and the way that

556
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: I come across as been my discipline with my children,

557
00:26:57,201 --> 00:27:01,561
Speaker 1: not hands. But I am when I hear you just

558
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:05,400
Speaker 1: say that, I need to work on that really really deeply,

559
00:27:06,241 --> 00:27:12,281
Speaker 1: because I am guilty of being the abuser of the tongue,

560
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: the words, the context of what I say. How do

561
00:27:15,921 --> 00:27:19,400
Speaker 1: you many of our listeners out there today can relate,

562
00:27:19,681 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: and if you're true to yourself, you'll put your hand up.

563
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,761
Speaker 1: I want to ask the question on behalf of everybody

564
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,841
Speaker 1: that may feel this, how do we take those steps

565
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:31,961
Speaker 1: to learn to not to be conflictual? I suppose how

566
00:27:32,001 --> 00:27:33,761
Speaker 1: do I take a breath and how do I then

567
00:27:34,721 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: harmly respond to a situation? Or for me, I have

568
00:27:39,561 --> 00:27:42,640
Speaker 1: Type two bipolar and I don't see dm PTSD whatever,

569
00:27:43,321 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 1: but in the heat of the moment my reaction, I

570
00:27:46,561 --> 00:27:50,681
Speaker 1: need to learn to just pull back, stop and then

571
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,360
Speaker 1: come forward. How does one work on that and do this?

572
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a really good question, bro, And if you

573
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 4: don't mind, before I answer that, I just want to

574
00:27:58,481 --> 00:28:01,921
Speaker 4: share something the beautifulness of sitting in space with two

575
00:28:01,921 --> 00:28:03,801
Speaker 4: men like us, you know, a workshop that we might

576
00:28:03,801 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 4: sit and soft but beautiful things play, our nice shared

577
00:28:08,041 --> 00:28:11,281
Speaker 4: ownership about being a safe space woman. And that had

578
00:28:11,321 --> 00:28:12,761
Speaker 4: you go all fuck you know and put my hand

579
00:28:12,801 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 4: up and take ownership. And this is what you know.

580
00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:17,160
Speaker 4: I'm sure when you have a conversation with other men,

581
00:28:17,241 --> 00:28:19,761
Speaker 4: the same thing happens. You know, we men, we get

582
00:28:19,801 --> 00:28:22,720
Speaker 4: to keep holding each other accountable so that we can

583
00:28:22,721 --> 00:28:24,481
Speaker 4: be better for our families, because I know we all

584
00:28:24,481 --> 00:28:26,801
Speaker 4: want to be better, but we've got to actually start

585
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 4: practicing me better. But to answer your question, where a

586
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,120
Speaker 4: lot of people, let's use your language. Your language is

587
00:28:33,201 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 4: the devil's tongue, and then we're constantly talking about the

588
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,881
Speaker 4: devil's tongue. It's okay, what's the opposite of the devil's tongue.

589
00:28:38,921 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 4: I'm going to say in my language, it will be

590
00:28:40,241 --> 00:28:43,121
Speaker 4: probably Jesus tongue. So it's okay, what would Jesus do

591
00:28:43,201 --> 00:28:43,721
Speaker 4: in that moment?

592
00:28:43,761 --> 00:28:45,801
Speaker 1: We wouldn't you're telling you you're a fucking little prick

593
00:28:45,841 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 1: and and you're an idiot. No, no, no, I'm just

594
00:28:48,961 --> 00:28:51,401
Speaker 1: saying across the board, please don't take that. That's how

595
00:28:51,441 --> 00:28:54,321
Speaker 1: I speak to my children. But in heat of moments,

596
00:28:54,361 --> 00:28:57,081
Speaker 1: there's been things like that said over the Yeah, whether

597
00:28:57,081 --> 00:28:59,441
Speaker 1: it be to my partner, whether it be to whomever.

598
00:28:59,961 --> 00:29:02,521
Speaker 1: You know, that's a fault in me that needs to

599
00:29:02,521 --> 00:29:03,121
Speaker 1: be reset.

600
00:29:03,881 --> 00:29:05,721
Speaker 4: So another way of saying what I'm saying is get

601
00:29:05,721 --> 00:29:08,521
Speaker 4: really clear on how you want to show up. Let's

602
00:29:08,521 --> 00:29:11,881
Speaker 4: say there might be four steps. Okay. Most people will go, okay,

603
00:29:11,881 --> 00:29:13,721
Speaker 4: I'm really clear on my four steps now, and that's

604
00:29:13,721 --> 00:29:15,761
Speaker 4: how I want to show up. And they hope that

605
00:29:15,761 --> 00:29:17,281
Speaker 4: they're going to show up when the heat of the

606
00:29:17,281 --> 00:29:20,281
Speaker 4: moment shows up. Chances of that happening next to none.

607
00:29:20,361 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 4: You've got to live it every day. Yeah, You've got

608
00:29:22,201 --> 00:29:25,081
Speaker 4: to create a practice that you consistently and frequently do.

609
00:29:25,721 --> 00:29:27,721
Speaker 4: So those four steps are really basically like, oh yeah,

610
00:29:27,721 --> 00:29:29,321
Speaker 4: I can do that. Then it shows up, it bomb,

611
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 4: you blo up again. Okay, But the four steps are

612
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:33,481
Speaker 4: so basically I'm going to practice them for one minute

613
00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:36,361
Speaker 4: every single day, and on the twentieth day that moment

614
00:29:36,401 --> 00:29:39,681
Speaker 4: shows up, boom, I have twenty experiences of one minute.

615
00:29:39,761 --> 00:29:42,641
Speaker 4: Therefore twenty more minutes than I did before I started practicing.

616
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 1: There, you just slap me in the face harder than

617
00:29:45,041 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: you can realize. I'll tell you why, and people hear

618
00:29:49,561 --> 00:29:52,401
Speaker 1: this some of my episodes all the time. It has

619
00:29:52,441 --> 00:29:56,081
Speaker 1: a powerful meaning and a strong connection with how I

620
00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:59,321
Speaker 1: raise my children. I'll use this an example. I make

621
00:29:59,401 --> 00:30:02,361
Speaker 1: myself vulnerable here. Okay, we're on the table. I'm grateful

622
00:30:02,401 --> 00:30:04,801
Speaker 1: for you being here. This is what you do so

623
00:30:05,281 --> 00:30:09,361
Speaker 1: let's pick on me beautiful, right, I'll just throw myself

624
00:30:09,441 --> 00:30:12,921
Speaker 1: under the bus. But are you we go So, for example,

625
00:30:13,041 --> 00:30:16,081
Speaker 1: I get frustrated over the smallest things and I'll just

626
00:30:16,081 --> 00:30:18,521
Speaker 1: get boom. And I've seen in my kids because they're

627
00:30:18,521 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: getting older now, their faces. And then I pick up

628
00:30:22,281 --> 00:30:24,321
Speaker 1: on the body language so that it's me attacking that

629
00:30:25,121 --> 00:30:27,801
Speaker 1: what you're not listening to me, and then it escalates,

630
00:30:27,801 --> 00:30:31,441
Speaker 1: you know, to then I become in my content. It's

631
00:30:31,521 --> 00:30:34,761
Speaker 1: classed as abusive by the words that I use, not

632
00:30:34,881 --> 00:30:38,681
Speaker 1: directly attacking them, but how I speak about what is

633
00:30:38,681 --> 00:30:41,521
Speaker 1: happening at that moment. My wife may look at me

634
00:30:41,561 --> 00:30:43,801
Speaker 1: and she just like, babe, that's you don't need to

635
00:30:44,961 --> 00:30:46,401
Speaker 1: you stay the fuck out of it. You know, this

636
00:30:46,481 --> 00:30:50,001
Speaker 1: is between me and the kids, because they're not little

637
00:30:50,081 --> 00:30:53,361
Speaker 1: kids anymore, you know, the young adults. So that way

638
00:30:53,401 --> 00:30:57,361
Speaker 1: of thinking is not okay. They're still human, they're still

639
00:30:57,881 --> 00:31:01,121
Speaker 1: my children. That was my wife trying to just say, hey,

640
00:31:01,441 --> 00:31:03,921
Speaker 1: take a breath. And she's a key with so she's

641
00:31:03,961 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: got that inside. She's got the multi blood in her

642
00:31:07,801 --> 00:31:10,001
Speaker 1: as well, and you know my kids are so they've

643
00:31:10,001 --> 00:31:13,601
Speaker 1: got this beautiful soft side. But then there's the other side.

644
00:31:13,601 --> 00:31:15,801
Speaker 1: Also if they need to be the worry or you know,

645
00:31:15,881 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 1: the strong one, the woman she's carried twenty years of

646
00:31:19,561 --> 00:31:22,561
Speaker 1: my shit. But in saying that too, you know, like,

647
00:31:22,601 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: I'm not a terrible person. I have bad habits. I

648
00:31:27,361 --> 00:31:29,401
Speaker 1: want to be the best version of me. I want

649
00:31:29,441 --> 00:31:31,241
Speaker 1: to be a great dad. I just want to be

650
00:31:31,241 --> 00:31:31,841
Speaker 1: a good human.

651
00:31:32,281 --> 00:31:32,561
Speaker 4: You know.

652
00:31:32,801 --> 00:31:37,881
Speaker 1: I enjoy helping people, but I do have these issues. Yeah,

653
00:31:38,041 --> 00:31:40,801
Speaker 1: what do I do like for me? As I say,

654
00:31:40,881 --> 00:31:43,521
Speaker 1: go back to being the contradictive wag. I ask of

655
00:31:43,601 --> 00:31:46,521
Speaker 1: my children every day, don't win that race. Don't tell

656
00:31:46,561 --> 00:31:49,041
Speaker 1: me you got number one in the class. Just tell

657
00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:51,601
Speaker 1: me you did well. Be one percent better today than

658
00:31:51,601 --> 00:31:53,201
Speaker 1: you were yesterday. That's all I ask.

659
00:31:53,681 --> 00:31:56,601
Speaker 4: Yeah, earlier I mentioned when we're talking about that young

660
00:31:56,641 --> 00:31:59,081
Speaker 4: boy that's in that room, I said, when he's misbehaving

661
00:31:59,161 --> 00:32:01,681
Speaker 4: or doing the things that people might judge, I actually

662
00:32:01,721 --> 00:32:04,881
Speaker 4: get curious. So when you speak about the experience your

663
00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:07,601
Speaker 4: time into right now, I just get curious. So a

664
00:32:07,681 --> 00:32:09,401
Speaker 4: question that I could even ask you right now, is

665
00:32:10,121 --> 00:32:11,961
Speaker 4: the last time that you are frustrated with one of

666
00:32:12,041 --> 00:32:15,401
Speaker 4: your children, what part of you have they triggered.

667
00:32:16,641 --> 00:32:19,481
Speaker 1: The repetitiveness of asking to take the fucking bin out

668
00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:25,001
Speaker 1: every night, something so trivial, Like, really, is it that

669
00:32:25,041 --> 00:32:26,521
Speaker 1: big of a problem. I'll just pick it up and

670
00:32:26,521 --> 00:32:29,121
Speaker 1: take it out myself. But if they see me constantly

671
00:32:29,161 --> 00:32:32,241
Speaker 1: picking up those small chores that are expected of them

672
00:32:32,321 --> 00:32:35,321
Speaker 1: to show them a way of life and what we

673
00:32:35,401 --> 00:32:38,681
Speaker 1: need to start to engage in the life skills, am

674
00:32:38,681 --> 00:32:40,161
Speaker 1: I piggybacking them through that?

675
00:32:40,681 --> 00:32:43,841
Speaker 4: Well? When you say the repetitiveness, would it be fair

676
00:32:43,881 --> 00:32:45,401
Speaker 4: to say that you not being listened to?

677
00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:46,321
Speaker 1: Yep?

678
00:32:46,681 --> 00:32:49,241
Speaker 4: So not being heard? Yes, And let's reflect back to

679
00:32:49,281 --> 00:32:53,881
Speaker 4: your childhood. How often were you not listening to seen

680
00:32:53,921 --> 00:32:58,201
Speaker 4: and not heard? Yeah? So, on a surface level, is repetitive.

681
00:32:58,201 --> 00:33:02,001
Speaker 4: It's just a rubbishment, but an actual fact, the hurt

682
00:33:02,041 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 4: part of you that wasn't to listen to or heard

683
00:33:04,481 --> 00:33:07,241
Speaker 4: back in your child has been triggered. All these sensations

684
00:33:07,241 --> 00:33:09,961
Speaker 4: come for your body and you react from that little

685
00:33:10,001 --> 00:33:12,721
Speaker 4: hurt version of you as opposed to the rubbishment.

686
00:33:14,081 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 1: Not to my father, God bless him. We've had a

687
00:33:17,761 --> 00:33:20,841
Speaker 1: beautiful relationship. We worked on in our relationship for ten

688
00:33:20,921 --> 00:33:23,761
Speaker 1: fifteen years before we are at this beautiful space. We

689
00:33:23,841 --> 00:33:26,721
Speaker 1: call each other every day. I love my dad and

690
00:33:26,801 --> 00:33:28,881
Speaker 1: we're very open to be able to have this conversation.

691
00:33:28,921 --> 00:33:31,601
Speaker 1: He will maybe hear this, and I know that he

692
00:33:31,601 --> 00:33:34,081
Speaker 1: won't take it to heart, But you know, you talk

693
00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:36,961
Speaker 1: about being heard for me as a six year old

694
00:33:36,961 --> 00:33:41,081
Speaker 1: boy being molested and raped by my neighbors. I remember

695
00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:44,601
Speaker 1: the day I went to the verandah to speak to

696
00:33:44,601 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 1: my father and he was a heavy drinker back then,

697
00:33:48,161 --> 00:33:52,041
Speaker 1: being in an indigenous community. Not that's how it was.

698
00:33:52,441 --> 00:33:54,361
Speaker 1: They'd ripped the fence panels down to be up all night,

699
00:33:54,481 --> 00:33:58,281
Speaker 1: sink and flag and support. And they were his brothers,

700
00:33:58,881 --> 00:34:02,761
Speaker 1: two of the older. They were young adults that were perpetrators.

701
00:34:03,121 --> 00:34:05,321
Speaker 1: And I'd had enough and I couldn't go to fotball

702
00:34:05,361 --> 00:34:08,001
Speaker 1: training without being captured in the bush on way to

703
00:34:08,041 --> 00:34:11,321
Speaker 1: football training and molested and I had to tell someone.

704
00:34:11,841 --> 00:34:15,201
Speaker 1: And the moment I went open up, I was lifted

705
00:34:15,281 --> 00:34:18,681
Speaker 1: clean off of veranda about three foot high and open

706
00:34:18,761 --> 00:34:22,521
Speaker 1: handed and basically told, how dare I fucking say that

707
00:34:22,601 --> 00:34:23,321
Speaker 1: about them?

708
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:25,321
Speaker 4: Yeah?

709
00:34:25,441 --> 00:34:27,881
Speaker 1: Like I say, I love my dad. My dad's my world.

710
00:34:28,321 --> 00:34:30,921
Speaker 1: He's all I've got besides my own children, and he's

711
00:34:30,921 --> 00:34:33,121
Speaker 1: not well. I don't see a lot of them, seen

712
00:34:33,241 --> 00:34:37,521
Speaker 1: three times in four years, but that moment has forever

713
00:34:37,881 --> 00:34:41,361
Speaker 1: lived within me. Now I've never spoken about it in

714
00:34:41,361 --> 00:34:45,241
Speaker 1: this manner. Maybe I haven't really dealt with a lot

715
00:34:45,241 --> 00:34:49,801
Speaker 1: of those issues because I wasn't heard. So when then

716
00:34:50,601 --> 00:34:52,841
Speaker 1: my wife doesn't hear me and I'm just having a

717
00:34:52,881 --> 00:34:55,801
Speaker 1: conversation about something that's relevant to whatever's going to happen

718
00:34:55,841 --> 00:35:00,201
Speaker 1: for the day, I blow up. Yeah that's trivial, that's shit,

719
00:35:01,321 --> 00:35:04,441
Speaker 1: but to me it's massive in my head.

720
00:35:07,321 --> 00:35:10,681
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you for being so open, bro, And I

721
00:35:10,721 --> 00:35:12,401
Speaker 4: know that this will resonate with one person and for

722
00:35:12,441 --> 00:35:13,921
Speaker 4: me when something residents one person.

723
00:35:14,041 --> 00:35:16,441
Speaker 1: I didn't expect me to be getting counseled by you,

724
00:35:16,561 --> 00:35:19,481
Speaker 1: but I'm actually quite grateful. I think this is this

725
00:35:19,521 --> 00:35:21,321
Speaker 1: is what it's about, Bro, This is why I do

726
00:35:21,401 --> 00:35:24,321
Speaker 1: what I do. If I've got to be vulnerable and

727
00:35:24,401 --> 00:35:26,961
Speaker 1: have you sit here and pull me apart to better

728
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:30,121
Speaker 1: me and help me than far out. Thank you.

729
00:35:30,241 --> 00:35:32,841
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're welcome, my brother. And you know, we talk

730
00:35:32,881 --> 00:35:34,961
Speaker 4: about surface level. My wife didn't listen to me, and

731
00:35:35,001 --> 00:35:38,201
Speaker 4: my children didn't listen to me. In a real time experience,

732
00:35:38,201 --> 00:35:41,161
Speaker 4: it's like trivial, but it's like, yes, my body is

733
00:35:41,201 --> 00:35:44,081
Speaker 4: actually not reacting to that. It's more reacting to the

734
00:35:44,121 --> 00:35:47,761
Speaker 4: time I got lifted off the fucking veranda from me

735
00:35:47,841 --> 00:35:51,001
Speaker 4: trying to express that I've been sexually abused. So this

736
00:35:51,161 --> 00:35:54,761
Speaker 4: saw a little boy who's so fucking hurt and holds

737
00:35:54,801 --> 00:35:59,121
Speaker 4: so much pain, who is now a man. So when

738
00:35:59,201 --> 00:36:02,321
Speaker 4: the trivial shows up in real time, we're actually reacting

739
00:36:02,361 --> 00:36:03,881
Speaker 4: to that experience there.

740
00:36:05,201 --> 00:36:07,761
Speaker 1: And am my contradictive in being as a man, as

741
00:36:07,801 --> 00:36:10,561
Speaker 1: a partner, as a husband, as a parent because I

742
00:36:10,601 --> 00:36:12,921
Speaker 1: sit down and I say, I would never let my

743
00:36:13,041 --> 00:36:15,721
Speaker 1: children go through what I went through, and I wouldn't,

744
00:36:15,881 --> 00:36:19,121
Speaker 1: you know, But yet they're going through the same traits

745
00:36:19,241 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: because I'm not able to communicate in a positive manner

746
00:36:24,521 --> 00:36:28,441
Speaker 1: at times that his classed as being abusive. Let's just

747
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:32,201
Speaker 1: call it for what it is. You can't speak in

748
00:36:32,241 --> 00:36:35,681
Speaker 1: an aggressive, abusive way, no matter what the situation is.

749
00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:39,041
Speaker 1: It's unacceptable. I'm guilty of it.

750
00:36:39,361 --> 00:36:42,521
Speaker 4: Yeah, And my response to that, i'd validate that and

751
00:36:42,561 --> 00:36:45,121
Speaker 4: then say, we don't know what we don't know, So

752
00:36:45,241 --> 00:36:47,641
Speaker 4: until you know, you can't do something about it. And

753
00:36:47,721 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 4: maybe today is the knowing of Ah, that's actually where

754
00:36:50,481 --> 00:36:53,441
Speaker 4: it comes from. And now we get to do specific

755
00:36:53,561 --> 00:36:56,481
Speaker 4: work on what the unmet need was. So It's like

756
00:36:56,521 --> 00:36:58,321
Speaker 4: the little boy that got lifted when he was trying

757
00:36:58,361 --> 00:37:00,921
Speaker 4: to express this what's been playing out for me? Okay,

758
00:37:01,041 --> 00:37:03,961
Speaker 4: that's what he received. What did he actually need? And

759
00:37:04,001 --> 00:37:06,641
Speaker 4: we could even get more. What's a sentence that you

760
00:37:06,721 --> 00:37:09,561
Speaker 4: needed to hear from the people that you were expressing

761
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:09,761
Speaker 4: it to.

762
00:37:12,441 --> 00:37:14,521
Speaker 1: What does a six year old boy want to hear.

763
00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:17,881
Speaker 1: I want to see my father protect me. I want

764
00:37:17,881 --> 00:37:20,881
Speaker 1: to see him go hunt. I want to see these

765
00:37:20,921 --> 00:37:22,561
Speaker 1: people hurt suffer.

766
00:37:22,481 --> 00:37:22,921
Speaker 4: Like I have.

767
00:37:23,121 --> 00:37:26,361
Speaker 1: And I know that sounds terrible, and I'm sure you

768
00:37:26,401 --> 00:37:30,161
Speaker 1: guys listening today get what I'm saying. It's what I

769
00:37:30,161 --> 00:37:33,801
Speaker 1: would want. I remember when I was doing one of

770
00:37:33,841 --> 00:37:36,041
Speaker 1: my sentences, there was a six year sentence and I've

771
00:37:36,041 --> 00:37:38,401
Speaker 1: said this before in another interviews, where I would sit

772
00:37:38,401 --> 00:37:41,241
Speaker 1: in the yard over those years, pondering on those moments

773
00:37:41,241 --> 00:37:44,041
Speaker 1: that those two perpetrators in particular ever walked into the

774
00:37:44,121 --> 00:37:47,401
Speaker 1: yard and I was ready to just run straight across

775
00:37:47,401 --> 00:37:51,121
Speaker 1: the yard with the blade. Thank God, I am blessed

776
00:37:51,161 --> 00:37:53,401
Speaker 1: that never ever happened. I was never put in that

777
00:37:53,441 --> 00:37:58,201
Speaker 1: position to destroy my life, not have the beautiful family

778
00:37:58,241 --> 00:38:01,161
Speaker 1: that I have, not been able to be a dad.

779
00:38:01,641 --> 00:38:03,561
Speaker 1: I would have done life in jail over being a

780
00:38:03,641 --> 00:38:08,121
Speaker 1: hurt child from somebody else's actions. You know what I mean.

781
00:38:09,041 --> 00:38:13,521
Speaker 4: And I want to validate that because if I was

782
00:38:13,561 --> 00:38:15,881
Speaker 4: in that experience, it's exactly what I would want to

783
00:38:15,881 --> 00:38:18,961
Speaker 4: do too. And this is me not devaluing what you're saying,

784
00:38:19,001 --> 00:38:20,601
Speaker 4: and it's not even truth, it's just something I want

785
00:38:20,601 --> 00:38:23,481
Speaker 4: to put into the space. Is that's what you wanted?

786
00:38:24,081 --> 00:38:27,481
Speaker 4: The question was what did you need just needed to

787
00:38:27,521 --> 00:38:31,761
Speaker 4: be heard and what was the sentence that you wanted

788
00:38:31,801 --> 00:38:34,481
Speaker 4: to hear? I don't know.

789
00:38:34,641 --> 00:38:37,161
Speaker 1: I can't genuinely if I was to answer, it'd be

790
00:38:37,161 --> 00:38:39,721
Speaker 1: probably bullshit just coming off the tip of my tongue

791
00:38:39,801 --> 00:38:40,441
Speaker 1: for the podcast.

792
00:38:40,881 --> 00:38:41,641
Speaker 4: And this is great.

793
00:38:41,841 --> 00:38:44,921
Speaker 1: I can't honestly tell you right this moment, I would

794
00:38:44,961 --> 00:38:47,921
Speaker 1: have to go away and actually really deeply think about

795
00:38:47,961 --> 00:38:48,761
Speaker 1: that answer.

796
00:38:48,481 --> 00:38:50,441
Speaker 4: Because I believe there's lots of healing in that sentence.

797
00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:55,761
Speaker 4: Right then they get a step further with that sentence

798
00:38:55,761 --> 00:38:57,721
Speaker 4: and go okay, and I'll just put one into the

799
00:38:57,801 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 4: space as an example. Please, thank you for sharing me.

800
00:39:01,561 --> 00:39:05,201
Speaker 4: You're safe now, we'll work this out together. Yeah, and

801
00:39:05,241 --> 00:39:08,601
Speaker 4: then be hugged. And then the little boy to have

802
00:39:08,681 --> 00:39:11,481
Speaker 4: experienced a feeling, and let's say it was a warm feeling.

803
00:39:11,521 --> 00:39:14,521
Speaker 4: It's hard of safety now. So now we've got a sentence,

804
00:39:14,801 --> 00:39:16,441
Speaker 4: we've got an action of a hug, and we've got

805
00:39:16,441 --> 00:39:19,321
Speaker 4: a feeling in your body, and that's where or you're

806
00:39:19,361 --> 00:39:21,481
Speaker 4: healing lay. If those were the examples that you come

807
00:39:21,561 --> 00:39:24,641
Speaker 4: up with, once you're reflected, to meet yourself consistently and

808
00:39:24,641 --> 00:39:27,401
Speaker 4: frequently in those three needs, and you will heal the

809
00:39:27,401 --> 00:39:31,121
Speaker 4: wound of that little boy who never got hurt. And

810
00:39:31,161 --> 00:39:33,561
Speaker 4: those trivial points of not being heard by your wife

811
00:39:33,561 --> 00:39:36,321
Speaker 4: were a kid will dissolve and you'll start seeing the

812
00:39:36,321 --> 00:39:38,721
Speaker 4: bin for what the bin is as opposed to being

813
00:39:38,841 --> 00:39:41,481
Speaker 4: lifted off the veranda.

814
00:39:41,681 --> 00:39:43,801
Speaker 1: Would you do me a favor and I'm going to

815
00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:49,561
Speaker 1: take from our journey today everything ye Like I said,

816
00:39:49,601 --> 00:39:52,681
Speaker 1: this has never been scripted any episode in you know,

817
00:39:53,321 --> 00:39:58,201
Speaker 1: only six million downloads and two hundred and twenty something episodes.

818
00:39:58,441 --> 00:40:02,041
Speaker 1: It's never once been scripted. So every time I sit

819
00:40:02,121 --> 00:40:08,201
Speaker 1: down with a guest, it's totally different experience. I would

820
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:10,961
Speaker 1: really be grateful if you could send those three points.

821
00:40:11,121 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: I would look into myself and take some deep action

822
00:40:15,881 --> 00:40:18,881
Speaker 1: because I need to hear that people used to talk about,

823
00:40:18,921 --> 00:40:21,441
Speaker 1: you know, club life and stuff like that, and once again,

824
00:40:21,561 --> 00:40:25,881
Speaker 1: I'm sure you'll relate. I was an extremely violent man.

825
00:40:27,001 --> 00:40:31,561
Speaker 1: I held positions in club that would deal with those issues.

826
00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: But beyond that, I was just a scared little boy

827
00:40:35,441 --> 00:40:38,561
Speaker 1: in a set of colors, you know that was just

828
00:40:38,801 --> 00:40:42,721
Speaker 1: grown up in such violence. And like I said, is

829
00:40:42,801 --> 00:40:45,121
Speaker 1: to have to fight to keep my shoes on my feet.

830
00:40:45,201 --> 00:40:48,441
Speaker 1: You know. I would get jumped by three four at

831
00:40:48,481 --> 00:40:50,481
Speaker 1: a time just because I'd walk through a park in

832
00:40:51,081 --> 00:40:53,681
Speaker 1: Campbelltown in Western So it was a Sydney and the

833
00:40:53,761 --> 00:40:55,921
Speaker 1: crew because it was sort of the Polly's and you

834
00:40:55,961 --> 00:40:58,841
Speaker 1: know pretty well the quarries, and they'd be all in

835
00:40:58,881 --> 00:41:01,161
Speaker 1: their drink and sooner or later someone would be like

836
00:41:01,241 --> 00:41:05,601
Speaker 1: looking for someone to take their shit out onnerable one

837
00:41:05,641 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 1: person walking through a crew. I probably could have taken

838
00:41:08,521 --> 00:41:12,641
Speaker 1: a different route, but I was numbed. It would just

839
00:41:12,881 --> 00:41:16,521
Speaker 1: be an autopilot, go through, do your best. Yeah, you're

840
00:41:16,521 --> 00:41:19,441
Speaker 1: gonna get it anyway, it's going to happen. Yeah, what

841
00:41:19,481 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: do you do it? You've been copping it all your life. Yeah,

842
00:41:22,001 --> 00:41:24,521
Speaker 1: that's how you live. I resonate with that, But you know,

843
00:41:24,601 --> 00:41:26,641
Speaker 1: you're talking about being a violent manner. And when I

844
00:41:26,681 --> 00:41:30,041
Speaker 1: got to the truth, I was actually fucking just scared. Yeah,

845
00:41:30,121 --> 00:41:32,841
Speaker 1: because every time that I was violent, what was driving

846
00:41:32,881 --> 00:41:36,601
Speaker 1: that was fear. I've sat with many of what society

847
00:41:36,601 --> 00:41:40,521
Speaker 1: would deem some of the most scary men, and I

848
00:41:40,561 --> 00:41:42,241
Speaker 1: love that I get to sit in those spaces, one

849
00:41:42,241 --> 00:41:44,641
Speaker 1: on one with these men, and I hold that space

850
00:41:44,681 --> 00:41:46,441
Speaker 1: so sacred and I would never share a weord outside

851
00:41:46,481 --> 00:41:49,161
Speaker 1: of that room. What I will share is when we

852
00:41:49,201 --> 00:41:51,281
Speaker 1: get to the core of it, they were fucking scared too.

853
00:41:51,881 --> 00:41:54,241
Speaker 1: When you look at the most violent people, but that's

854
00:41:54,281 --> 00:41:56,361
Speaker 1: the most pain's being inflicted on them, and they have

855
00:41:56,441 --> 00:41:59,801
Speaker 1: the most fear stuck in their body, and that's what's

856
00:41:59,881 --> 00:42:02,561
Speaker 1: driving that violence. So can we bypass all this, not

857
00:42:03,041 --> 00:42:05,841
Speaker 1: downplay it, but go past that, get curious to what

858
00:42:05,881 --> 00:42:07,681
Speaker 1: the fucking pain and hurt is and work with the

859
00:42:07,761 --> 00:42:09,481
Speaker 1: hurt and pain, get to the core of it, and

860
00:42:09,521 --> 00:42:12,441
Speaker 1: watch the violence dissol. We've got two men here for

861
00:42:12,521 --> 00:42:16,041
Speaker 1: spitting examples of that. You know, we work through the

862
00:42:16,081 --> 00:42:17,801
Speaker 1: hurt and the pain and the fear, and we now

863
00:42:17,841 --> 00:42:20,561
Speaker 1: show up completely different for our families, for our partners

864
00:42:20,601 --> 00:42:25,121
Speaker 1: and children, and even community. I find interesting that we

865
00:42:25,201 --> 00:42:28,441
Speaker 1: could sit here and I'm sure once again, I like

866
00:42:28,521 --> 00:42:30,401
Speaker 1: to throw it back to our listeners, because this is

867
00:42:30,441 --> 00:42:32,841
Speaker 1: why we do what we're doing. That many of you

868
00:42:32,921 --> 00:42:35,801
Speaker 1: out there feel that you've probably done a lot of work,

869
00:42:36,161 --> 00:42:41,281
Speaker 1: done things to better who you were. I like to

870
00:42:41,321 --> 00:42:45,401
Speaker 1: think that I'm very compassionate these days. I'm more thoughtful

871
00:42:45,441 --> 00:42:49,401
Speaker 1: of others. But until moments like this and sitting down

872
00:42:49,441 --> 00:42:54,521
Speaker 1: with someone like yourself and a no bullshit conversation and

873
00:42:54,641 --> 00:42:56,521
Speaker 1: you realize I've still got a fucking a lot of

874
00:42:56,561 --> 00:43:01,241
Speaker 1: work to do. I'm not healed. Yeah, a big cliche,

875
00:43:01,281 --> 00:43:04,361
Speaker 1: But everything happens for a reason, you know us, we've

876
00:43:04,361 --> 00:43:07,081
Speaker 1: tried to make this happened, this moment sit down for

877
00:43:07,121 --> 00:43:10,121
Speaker 1: some time, and life hasn't allowed us because of just

878
00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:13,081
Speaker 1: wasn't right. There wasn't the time. You know, we're both

879
00:43:13,681 --> 00:43:16,201
Speaker 1: southern end of the Gold Coast. We're up in the

880
00:43:16,201 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: big city of Brisy, and here we are that we've

881
00:43:18,521 --> 00:43:20,441
Speaker 1: made the effort to get here today, both on our

882
00:43:20,521 --> 00:43:23,241
Speaker 1: journey and in our busy day and with many things

883
00:43:23,241 --> 00:43:25,921
Speaker 1: to be done, but we're here in this moment.

884
00:43:26,361 --> 00:43:28,121
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a real powerful moment.

885
00:43:29,241 --> 00:43:34,081
Speaker 1: It's probably the most personally powerful podcast I've done. Hence

886
00:43:34,121 --> 00:43:39,161
Speaker 1: the Little Giggles. Yeah, a bit uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable

887
00:43:39,161 --> 00:43:41,481
Speaker 1: being in the presence of you. I'm uncomfortable with myself

888
00:43:42,561 --> 00:43:45,801
Speaker 1: being vulnerable, I think because this is your fucking story

889
00:43:45,841 --> 00:43:47,601
Speaker 1: and I'm supposed to hear when you want.

890
00:43:49,921 --> 00:43:52,201
Speaker 4: And like you said, brother, this is not scripted, and

891
00:43:52,281 --> 00:43:55,921
Speaker 4: we'll just allow the universe or God or life to

892
00:43:56,201 --> 00:43:57,361
Speaker 4: just go where it needs to go.

893
00:43:59,881 --> 00:44:02,601
Speaker 1: Why are you traveling? You're a traveling man, but a

894
00:44:02,641 --> 00:44:07,081
Speaker 1: family man. Hey, balance in it now. Yeah, you spoke

895
00:44:07,121 --> 00:44:10,401
Speaker 1: earlier that you know, you sort of had to create

896
00:44:10,441 --> 00:44:13,361
Speaker 1: that positive space for the family and then obviously work

897
00:44:13,441 --> 00:44:16,881
Speaker 1: you're so dedicated to. How are you dealing That's a.

898
00:44:16,841 --> 00:44:19,081
Speaker 4: Really cool question, Broke, because I've actually been unpacking that

899
00:44:19,201 --> 00:44:22,721
Speaker 4: over the past month. And I have traveled in particular

900
00:44:22,721 --> 00:44:25,641
Speaker 4: the last four or five years, and where I'm mostly

901
00:44:25,681 --> 00:44:28,801
Speaker 4: travel bro is after a relationship breakup. You know, I've

902
00:44:28,801 --> 00:44:32,001
Speaker 4: had two relationship breakups and I just went and I

903
00:44:32,201 --> 00:44:35,081
Speaker 4: genuinely loved traveling. But what I've realized in the last

904
00:44:35,121 --> 00:44:37,281
Speaker 4: month is a lot of my traveling was to run away.

905
00:44:37,361 --> 00:44:39,241
Speaker 1: I was just about to ask you, do you feel

906
00:44:39,281 --> 00:44:41,041
Speaker 1: that you were running away from the problems?

907
00:44:41,121 --> 00:44:44,681
Speaker 4: Yeah? And I've set it home for six weeks up

908
00:44:44,761 --> 00:44:47,721
Speaker 4: until recently, I just went away for work. But in

909
00:44:47,801 --> 00:44:50,121
Speaker 4: that six weeks, not one part of me wanted to

910
00:44:50,161 --> 00:44:53,161
Speaker 4: go away, and every part of me wanted to be

911
00:44:53,361 --> 00:44:56,201
Speaker 4: at home with my children, with my granddaughter, and with

912
00:44:56,241 --> 00:44:58,681
Speaker 4: my partner. And I said to my partner, I love

913
00:44:58,801 --> 00:45:02,441
Speaker 4: being home now. And I was like, fuck, I've been running,

914
00:45:02,561 --> 00:45:04,721
Speaker 4: and I sat and I unpacked it all, and I

915
00:45:04,801 --> 00:45:07,921
Speaker 4: just I didn't shame myself or see myself into a

916
00:45:07,921 --> 00:45:09,761
Speaker 4: shame spot. But it's like, I love that I see

917
00:45:09,801 --> 00:45:12,241
Speaker 4: this now. So when I do travel, okay, I'm traveling

918
00:45:12,321 --> 00:45:14,081
Speaker 4: because I want to and not because I'm running away

919
00:45:14,081 --> 00:45:14,641
Speaker 4: from something.

920
00:45:15,641 --> 00:45:18,801
Speaker 1: I said, a really beautiful moment, your partner, or was

921
00:45:18,801 --> 00:45:21,321
Speaker 1: it your daughter? Just recently there was you in the

922
00:45:21,401 --> 00:45:26,041
Speaker 1: kitchen and you're prepping something and the girls said, trying

923
00:45:26,041 --> 00:45:27,961
Speaker 1: to sneak you a little bit, get to catch you

924
00:45:28,041 --> 00:45:31,601
Speaker 1: off guard. I took that as a really beautiful moment.

925
00:45:32,281 --> 00:45:33,601
Speaker 1: Was it Is it a bit of a g up

926
00:45:33,601 --> 00:45:35,721
Speaker 1: for dandel that was it? Was it your daughter? Sorry?

927
00:45:35,761 --> 00:45:37,641
Speaker 4: First, my daughter and my partner?

928
00:45:37,921 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: Okay, beautiful, so I thank you? So was it sort

929
00:45:41,481 --> 00:45:44,121
Speaker 1: of let's get dad and get a little bit of

930
00:45:44,121 --> 00:45:44,921
Speaker 1: a bite out of him.

931
00:45:45,001 --> 00:45:47,121
Speaker 4: There's a couple of beautiful things there that played out

932
00:45:47,121 --> 00:45:49,001
Speaker 4: for me. And that's the fact that my daughter's connecting

933
00:45:49,041 --> 00:45:52,881
Speaker 4: with my partner because that's not her biological mom. That's

934
00:45:52,921 --> 00:45:54,641
Speaker 4: not her biological mum. But at the same time, I

935
00:45:54,721 --> 00:45:57,081
Speaker 4: raised my children by myself. Their mum was never around

936
00:45:57,881 --> 00:46:00,881
Speaker 4: and there was also very little or few women that

937
00:46:01,001 --> 00:46:03,161
Speaker 4: were in their space growing up, so that very familiar

938
00:46:03,201 --> 00:46:07,841
Speaker 4: with men but not women. So her trusting woman is

939
00:46:07,841 --> 00:46:10,481
Speaker 4: a big thing. So for them to be connected. And

940
00:46:10,521 --> 00:46:12,921
Speaker 4: then set that little scenario up, and the scenario was

941
00:46:12,961 --> 00:46:14,441
Speaker 4: they put a camera around from a film me just

942
00:46:14,441 --> 00:46:16,641
Speaker 4: to get my reaction when my daughter was telling my

943
00:46:16,641 --> 00:46:19,761
Speaker 4: partner to shut up. And first time I heard it,

944
00:46:19,841 --> 00:46:22,481
Speaker 4: I kind of turned and I was like, nah, I

945
00:46:22,521 --> 00:46:24,441
Speaker 4: heard wrong. And I heard it again. I said, what

946
00:46:24,441 --> 00:46:25,161
Speaker 4: what did you say?

947
00:46:26,041 --> 00:46:29,761
Speaker 1: And that was that moment when you were and then

948
00:46:29,801 --> 00:46:32,201
Speaker 1: you just stopped and everything just paused as she's having

949
00:46:32,201 --> 00:46:32,761
Speaker 1: a little people.

950
00:46:32,881 --> 00:46:36,001
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I'll protect my people. And I was like,

951
00:46:36,001 --> 00:46:38,041
Speaker 4: how about you shut up to my daughter. But we've

952
00:46:38,081 --> 00:46:40,601
Speaker 4: also got that relationship me and my children, like we

953
00:46:40,641 --> 00:46:42,081
Speaker 4: used to lay in bed and some of my friends

954
00:46:42,081 --> 00:46:44,681
Speaker 4: will be over and my you know, people will yell

955
00:46:44,681 --> 00:46:46,681
Speaker 4: at good night. We were like, yeah, shut you shut up,

956
00:46:46,721 --> 00:46:49,361
Speaker 4: and we're sort of silly like that in our household.

957
00:46:50,201 --> 00:46:52,441
Speaker 4: But it was really beautiful for me, in particular to

958
00:46:52,481 --> 00:46:55,481
Speaker 4: see my partner and my daughter sort of connected and

959
00:46:55,921 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 4: having something to try to set me up. I love

960
00:46:58,521 --> 00:47:00,281
Speaker 4: that experience very So you.

961
00:47:00,321 --> 00:47:05,441
Speaker 1: Just spoke that you raised your children. Wow, credit to you, Brot.

962
00:47:06,601 --> 00:47:10,161
Speaker 1: I mean, look, twenty odd years I've been with my

963
00:47:10,281 --> 00:47:13,361
Speaker 1: partner and three beautiful children and my oldest sons to

964
00:47:13,721 --> 00:47:16,921
Speaker 1: another partner prior. But but it hasn't been smooth sailing.

965
00:47:16,961 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 1: We've been through some tough time, especially in the last

966
00:47:19,481 --> 00:47:22,761
Speaker 1: five years. We've been really tested from outside influence. But

967
00:47:23,161 --> 00:47:28,681
Speaker 1: that being said, it caused us to separate. I'll take

968
00:47:29,081 --> 00:47:32,241
Speaker 1: the boys and our daughter and you. I mean our

969
00:47:32,321 --> 00:47:35,001
Speaker 1: daughter turned eighteen a few weeks ago, but she's legally

970
00:47:35,081 --> 00:47:38,481
Speaker 1: sit and paired, so life's a bit different for her.

971
00:47:39,121 --> 00:47:41,441
Speaker 1: She needs the support. And I thought it was like, well,

972
00:47:41,561 --> 00:47:43,681
Speaker 1: it's me and the boys. Now I've got a man

973
00:47:43,761 --> 00:47:47,361
Speaker 1: up here. My son said to me, Dad, you were

974
00:47:47,441 --> 00:47:51,521
Speaker 1: just so much different, and I don't know how to

975
00:47:51,681 --> 00:47:56,121
Speaker 1: best take that because I love an A door there, mum,

976
00:47:56,281 --> 00:47:59,561
Speaker 1: she gave me three amazing children, and she stood by

977
00:47:59,601 --> 00:48:07,161
Speaker 1: my side through everything, So we aren't discredit somebody that's

978
00:48:07,201 --> 00:48:08,801
Speaker 1: done that. There's a lot of people that drop the ball,

979
00:48:09,001 --> 00:48:12,201
Speaker 1: as we both know, will find some grasses greener on

980
00:48:12,201 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: the other side. So for me, I've got to step

981
00:48:15,601 --> 00:48:17,681
Speaker 1: up here. But then my son's like, Dad, you just

982
00:48:17,721 --> 00:48:21,201
Speaker 1: seem more at peace, more happier. You're not as classed

983
00:48:21,241 --> 00:48:24,921
Speaker 1: off the hand, or quick to react. For others out

984
00:48:24,961 --> 00:48:29,921
Speaker 1: there that are in similar situations, someone like yourself who's

985
00:48:29,961 --> 00:48:33,721
Speaker 1: able to educate people in this space, what would you

986
00:48:33,761 --> 00:48:37,801
Speaker 1: say to me? How should I process that? Is it

987
00:48:37,841 --> 00:48:41,361
Speaker 1: a good thing? Should I work on rebuilding that beautiful

988
00:48:41,401 --> 00:48:43,761
Speaker 1: relationship that once was? Or should I just give up?

989
00:48:43,801 --> 00:48:47,361
Speaker 1: Because my son says, oh, Dad, you're happier than your mum,

990
00:48:47,441 --> 00:48:51,041
Speaker 1: A separated you know? Is that what I truly want

991
00:48:51,041 --> 00:48:53,001
Speaker 1: in my heart? No, I want my family together. I

992
00:48:53,041 --> 00:48:54,641
Speaker 1: don't want my kids grown up the way I grew up.

993
00:48:54,721 --> 00:48:58,321
Speaker 1: I want solidarity. I want wholesomeness. I want one roof

994
00:48:58,321 --> 00:49:01,401
Speaker 1: over our heads as a united front. We're together, We're

995
00:49:01,441 --> 00:49:05,561
Speaker 1: in this rough, thick and thin. But that's not always

996
00:49:05,601 --> 00:49:08,321
Speaker 1: the case, and it hasn't been the case.

997
00:49:08,681 --> 00:49:11,321
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think to answer your question and you actually

998
00:49:11,361 --> 00:49:14,401
Speaker 4: answer it yourself. Because she said, I want my family

999
00:49:14,561 --> 00:49:16,841
Speaker 4: under one roof, and I want this and I want that.

1000
00:49:17,721 --> 00:49:20,081
Speaker 4: If you want that, it sounds like the old version

1001
00:49:20,121 --> 00:49:24,081
Speaker 4: of that is not what you want. It's okay. If

1002
00:49:24,121 --> 00:49:25,881
Speaker 4: you want a new version of your family all being

1003
00:49:25,881 --> 00:49:29,921
Speaker 4: happy and living under one roof, create that. But to

1004
00:49:29,961 --> 00:49:32,161
Speaker 4: create that, you actually must get clear on what that is.

1005
00:49:33,161 --> 00:49:34,801
Speaker 4: So a way we do this. Okay, what are the

1006
00:49:34,841 --> 00:49:37,481
Speaker 4: three most important things if that were to be your reality?

1007
00:49:38,121 --> 00:49:41,041
Speaker 4: And let's say togetherness, presence, and love.

1008
00:49:41,241 --> 00:49:41,521
Speaker 1: Okay.

1009
00:49:41,561 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 4: Now we're going to explore what those three things mean

1010
00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:45,721
Speaker 4: for you. Okay. Now we've got this really clear roadmap

1011
00:49:45,761 --> 00:49:49,081
Speaker 4: of what you actually want this new household to be. Okay,

1012
00:49:49,161 --> 00:49:51,161
Speaker 4: Now we're going to create habits that are in alignment

1013
00:49:51,161 --> 00:49:53,201
Speaker 4: with that. Now I can forget about that and just

1014
00:49:53,241 --> 00:49:55,921
Speaker 4: focus on the habits. And I focus on the habits

1015
00:49:55,961 --> 00:49:59,001
Speaker 4: long enough and do it frequently consistently that I actually

1016
00:49:59,001 --> 00:49:59,441
Speaker 4: create that.

1017
00:50:00,361 --> 00:50:04,081
Speaker 1: Well, what if you feel that? Once again, Please don't

1018
00:50:04,121 --> 00:50:06,241
Speaker 1: anybody take offen to this, because I'm not trying to

1019
00:50:06,281 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 1: play sides here, and I'm just putting scenarios which are reality.

1020
00:50:10,001 --> 00:50:13,481
Speaker 1: What if the other party doesn't see that they're really

1021
00:50:13,521 --> 00:50:15,601
Speaker 1: in the wrong, and it happens in a lot of

1022
00:50:15,641 --> 00:50:18,761
Speaker 1: relationships with that blame game of nuts. You you've got

1023
00:50:18,761 --> 00:50:20,481
Speaker 1: to changes, you've got to do this, you've got to

1024
00:50:20,481 --> 00:50:24,561
Speaker 1: do that. But in the biggest scheme of things, you're

1025
00:50:24,561 --> 00:50:27,241
Speaker 1: a team. To make it work, You've both got to

1026
00:50:27,241 --> 00:50:31,961
Speaker 1: sacrifice or make changes. If one person's getting triggered, then

1027
00:50:32,001 --> 00:50:34,161
Speaker 1: the other person's obviously got issues as well. Like it

1028
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:38,561
Speaker 1: just doesn't balance out. It takes two to tango. Please

1029
00:50:38,561 --> 00:50:40,601
Speaker 1: see if you know a better way, or if I'm

1030
00:50:40,641 --> 00:50:42,801
Speaker 1: wrong in saying that, then I'm willing to learn. But

1031
00:50:43,721 --> 00:50:48,321
Speaker 1: in my perspective, I feel that you have to have

1032
00:50:48,441 --> 00:50:53,321
Speaker 1: that same desire both parties to want to resolve, work

1033
00:50:53,361 --> 00:50:56,481
Speaker 1: and better yea, and grow that love or rebuild or

1034
00:50:56,841 --> 00:50:57,841
Speaker 1: find that spark again.

1035
00:50:58,041 --> 00:51:00,761
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, brother, there needs to be a two part will.

1036
00:51:01,081 --> 00:51:03,761
Speaker 4: I mean they're both willing to do the work that

1037
00:51:03,841 --> 00:51:05,921
Speaker 4: it's required to have the thing that they both say

1038
00:51:05,961 --> 00:51:08,801
Speaker 4: they want. And the example you gave again, I'll come

1039
00:51:08,801 --> 00:51:12,881
Speaker 4: back to that curiosity, you know, get curious, She's I'm

1040
00:51:12,921 --> 00:51:16,241
Speaker 4: not wrong, you're wrong, Okay, what is me wrong? Being

1041
00:51:16,321 --> 00:51:19,361
Speaker 4: mean for her? And you go back to her childhood

1042
00:51:19,361 --> 00:51:21,601
Speaker 4: bro and what happened when she got things wrong, and

1043
00:51:21,641 --> 00:51:23,801
Speaker 4: it would have been unsafe and unlovable. So of course

1044
00:51:23,801 --> 00:51:26,401
Speaker 4: she's not going to be wrong today. So now is

1045
00:51:26,441 --> 00:51:29,361
Speaker 4: the man rather than me fighting with her to be

1046
00:51:29,521 --> 00:51:31,441
Speaker 4: right and then now we just end up in a

1047
00:51:31,481 --> 00:51:34,201
Speaker 4: battle in a circle. Is I'm not going to play

1048
00:51:34,241 --> 00:51:36,601
Speaker 4: that game more. I want to get curious and start

1049
00:51:36,641 --> 00:51:39,601
Speaker 4: meeting that need so that she can feel safe and

1050
00:51:39,641 --> 00:51:43,041
Speaker 4: when things aren't right, and then watch her soften into that.

1051
00:51:43,841 --> 00:51:45,881
Speaker 4: And the second part of that is you know, I've

1052
00:51:46,041 --> 00:51:47,641
Speaker 4: expressed that to me before and they're like, oh yeah,

1053
00:51:47,681 --> 00:51:50,161
Speaker 4: but I've been doing it for a month now. I said,

1054
00:51:50,161 --> 00:51:52,521
Speaker 4: we'll do it for two months, and I'll be doing

1055
00:51:52,521 --> 00:51:53,801
Speaker 4: it for two months, We'll do it for three months.

1056
00:51:53,921 --> 00:51:56,121
Speaker 4: You said you want this, and your will is there?

1057
00:51:56,161 --> 00:51:58,841
Speaker 4: Who will's there? But she's just not quite there in

1058
00:51:58,921 --> 00:51:59,881
Speaker 4: the safe trust thing?

1059
00:51:59,961 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 1: Two isn't years and years of the same repetitive shit

1060
00:52:03,601 --> 00:52:08,241
Speaker 1: becomes becomes untrustworthy one percent.

1061
00:52:08,281 --> 00:52:10,721
Speaker 4: And I said it to the brothers in particular, you know,

1062
00:52:10,761 --> 00:52:12,801
Speaker 4: it's just the same shit, And I said, and you're

1063
00:52:12,801 --> 00:52:15,401
Speaker 4: saying it the same way, so nothing changed, And they're like,

1064
00:52:15,401 --> 00:52:17,241
Speaker 4: but how long do I just stayin this. And I said, well,

1065
00:52:17,521 --> 00:52:18,841
Speaker 4: let's put it this way. I said, there was a

1066
00:52:18,921 --> 00:52:20,961
Speaker 4: dark room, you'd not seen your missus in there, and say,

1067
00:52:21,041 --> 00:52:22,361
Speaker 4: go in there and make sure it's safe, and then

1068
00:52:22,401 --> 00:52:23,761
Speaker 4: come back and tell me. Then I'll come with you.

1069
00:52:24,521 --> 00:52:26,601
Speaker 4: I said, You'll go into the dark room, make sure

1070
00:52:26,601 --> 00:52:28,521
Speaker 4: it's safe, and then come back and get her. Meaning

1071
00:52:28,641 --> 00:52:30,761
Speaker 4: you go in and you listen, and you listen and

1072
00:52:30,801 --> 00:52:33,281
Speaker 4: you listen and you listen till she feels safe enough

1073
00:52:33,321 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 4: to explore what's actually going for her and then made

1074
00:52:36,001 --> 00:52:37,521
Speaker 4: the union. It comes back together.

1075
00:52:38,641 --> 00:52:44,961
Speaker 1: Wow. Patience something that many of us lack of, and

1076
00:52:45,041 --> 00:52:47,121
Speaker 1: it really is. It's not and it may be a

1077
00:52:47,161 --> 00:52:49,521
Speaker 1: little bit repetitive, but it's not until you have these

1078
00:52:49,601 --> 00:52:52,641
Speaker 1: moments where you sit down and can be totally open

1079
00:52:52,681 --> 00:52:57,841
Speaker 1: and vulnerable with someone. Look we're doing right now. Hey guys,

1080
00:52:57,921 --> 00:52:59,761
Speaker 1: if this is more of a therapy session than a

1081
00:52:59,761 --> 00:53:02,561
Speaker 1: podcast issue, then please take it for what it is,

1082
00:53:02,841 --> 00:53:07,601
Speaker 1: because War is a man that is making differences in

1083
00:53:07,641 --> 00:53:13,841
Speaker 1: people's relationships and life. I'm embracing this. It's different, very different.

1084
00:53:15,041 --> 00:53:18,561
Speaker 1: I do see that you work on couples. Is that

1085
00:53:18,601 --> 00:53:19,961
Speaker 1: your partner that works also?

1086
00:53:21,521 --> 00:53:23,961
Speaker 4: Now my partner doesn't do any work with the men.

1087
00:53:24,361 --> 00:53:27,841
Speaker 1: No, No, because you have and I'm sure and maybe

1088
00:53:27,841 --> 00:53:31,041
Speaker 1: it's a leno I've seen do it too, because I

1089
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:33,961
Speaker 1: do follow you both both doing great work. Do you

1090
00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:37,601
Speaker 1: do workshops for couples to come in where you do

1091
00:53:37,721 --> 00:53:39,121
Speaker 1: have a female also.

1092
00:53:40,521 --> 00:53:42,721
Speaker 4: We have done that in the past. In the last

1093
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:45,401
Speaker 4: two years, we have not, we've been specifically working with men.

1094
00:53:45,761 --> 00:53:47,841
Speaker 4: What you may have seen is we've got two female

1095
00:53:47,841 --> 00:53:50,761
Speaker 4: counselors on our team as well, so often they'll come

1096
00:53:50,801 --> 00:53:53,321
Speaker 4: into spaces and there's there's big intention and reasoning why

1097
00:53:53,361 --> 00:53:55,841
Speaker 4: we have women in the space as well, and sometimes

1098
00:53:55,841 --> 00:53:58,561
Speaker 4: it's the most powerful part of what we're actually doing.

1099
00:53:59,001 --> 00:54:00,401
Speaker 4: So yeah, we do have women coming to the mean

1100
00:54:00,481 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 4: spaces to whole different parts that we're unable to hold.

1101
00:54:03,481 --> 00:54:06,281
Speaker 1: How do you find that seeing the difference in men

1102
00:54:06,481 --> 00:54:12,041
Speaker 1: changing after these educational sort of programs or workshops.

1103
00:54:12,761 --> 00:54:15,401
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I said, it makes me feel proud more

1104
00:54:15,441 --> 00:54:17,881
Speaker 4: so what I've done for my life, and it just

1105
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:20,561
Speaker 4: makes me happy for these men. The deepest part of

1106
00:54:20,601 --> 00:54:23,841
Speaker 4: my happiness lay and when I see them at peace,

1107
00:54:24,841 --> 00:54:26,921
Speaker 4: because I understand what the opposite of peace is, bro

1108
00:54:27,001 --> 00:54:30,961
Speaker 4: And it's fucking exhausting. And I often see men just

1109
00:54:31,241 --> 00:54:33,681
Speaker 4: fighting with themselves. They think they're fighting with their partner,

1110
00:54:33,841 --> 00:54:36,441
Speaker 4: children or the world, but they're actually fighting with themselves.

1111
00:54:37,001 --> 00:54:39,041
Speaker 4: So we can help them to see that, and they're like, oh,

1112
00:54:39,121 --> 00:54:41,241
Speaker 4: I get to dissolve that fight, and that's where we

1113
00:54:41,281 --> 00:54:46,041
Speaker 4: find the peace. So anyone said, what do you want

1114
00:54:46,081 --> 00:54:49,281
Speaker 4: to help men find the most one? It's themselves and

1115
00:54:49,321 --> 00:54:52,881
Speaker 4: inside of themselves, it's peace. I don't care about happiness anymore, bro,

1116
00:54:53,561 --> 00:54:55,761
Speaker 4: I just care about peace. That's a bring me peace.

1117
00:54:55,761 --> 00:54:58,481
Speaker 4: And if you're peaceful, you're happy exactly. I used to

1118
00:54:58,521 --> 00:55:00,881
Speaker 4: be so focused on happiness and chase happiness. I don't

1119
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:03,401
Speaker 4: even think about chasing anything. Am I here and my

1120
00:55:03,481 --> 00:55:04,201
Speaker 4: peaceful that's.

1121
00:55:04,121 --> 00:55:06,201
Speaker 1: Enough for me? Well, I think if you put in

1122
00:55:06,201 --> 00:55:09,641
Speaker 1: their perspective, are we ever truly happy? We always want more,

1123
00:55:10,121 --> 00:55:12,721
Speaker 1: or we always want something better or great? Or or

1124
00:55:13,121 --> 00:55:16,761
Speaker 1: is enough enough? What is enough? Once you find peace,

1125
00:55:16,921 --> 00:55:20,601
Speaker 1: you find peace. Piece is peace. If we stop war,

1126
00:55:20,801 --> 00:55:24,881
Speaker 1: we find peace, we find a resolution, we stop the violence.

1127
00:55:25,161 --> 00:55:28,841
Speaker 1: Things change absolutely. If we all have this desire to

1128
00:55:29,481 --> 00:55:34,281
Speaker 1: just want happiness, well I might just go and get

1129
00:55:34,321 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: lunch after here and just be happy about that. Again,

1130
00:55:38,601 --> 00:55:40,681
Speaker 1: they can't go fuck me as I go down the

1131
00:55:40,801 --> 00:55:42,561
Speaker 1: end one back down the Gold Coast, and I said,

1132
00:55:42,641 --> 00:55:44,801
Speaker 1: you know, for forty five minutes in traffic because some

1133
00:55:45,281 --> 00:55:49,561
Speaker 1: person might just had a bad day. But I'm here

1134
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:53,081
Speaker 1: saying this, buddy, idiot scores this GA accident. Whatever? Really,

1135
00:55:53,601 --> 00:55:55,281
Speaker 1: how do we know what space they are in when

1136
00:55:55,281 --> 00:55:57,281
Speaker 1: that occurred? Was it a moment of panic? Was it

1137
00:55:57,321 --> 00:55:59,480
Speaker 1: a moment they're not happy? Was it a moment they're

1138
00:55:59,521 --> 00:56:02,601
Speaker 1: not at peace? But yet I'm projecting now my shit

1139
00:56:02,641 --> 00:56:05,681
Speaker 1: under them. But I was happy? Was I ever at

1140
00:56:05,681 --> 00:56:08,321
Speaker 1: peace prior to leaving to go down that road?

1141
00:56:08,881 --> 00:56:11,681
Speaker 4: Yeah? You know, you just see something about and traffic,

1142
00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:13,361
Speaker 4: And I just want to preface this because it's something

1143
00:56:13,361 --> 00:56:16,761
Speaker 4: I've been practicing and I believe, I believe there's a

1144
00:56:16,761 --> 00:56:18,481
Speaker 4: lot of men they might go, oh fuck, I might

1145
00:56:18,521 --> 00:56:20,761
Speaker 4: try that. So in the past, you know, if someone

1146
00:56:20,841 --> 00:56:23,041
Speaker 4: was to cut me off and pull the fingers, you

1147
00:56:23,081 --> 00:56:26,081
Speaker 4: know my trigger, I've been dominated, showed up. No one's

1148
00:56:26,081 --> 00:56:27,761
Speaker 4: going to dominate me. I'm going to fucking dominate you

1149
00:56:28,081 --> 00:56:31,041
Speaker 4: because I promised myself that I would never let anyone

1150
00:56:31,081 --> 00:56:34,121
Speaker 4: stand over me like my dad used to. So I

1151
00:56:34,121 --> 00:56:36,241
Speaker 4: would never let anyone get the better of me. And

1152
00:56:36,281 --> 00:56:39,761
Speaker 4: what I do now on road rage is but I

1153
00:56:39,761 --> 00:56:42,121
Speaker 4: will actually still do the same, like pull over, get

1154
00:56:42,201 --> 00:56:43,761
Speaker 4: up close to someone, and I win way down and

1155
00:56:43,761 --> 00:56:46,121
Speaker 4: I say, brother, you're good, and they're like, fuck, there's

1156
00:56:46,401 --> 00:56:48,281
Speaker 4: I'm genuinely asking how you okay? Bro, I'm going to

1157
00:56:48,281 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 4: see you're having a really bad day.

1158
00:56:49,881 --> 00:56:52,001
Speaker 1: So you're offering concern, compassion.

1159
00:56:52,121 --> 00:56:53,881
Speaker 4: Absolutely, if you need someone to talk to your brother,

1160
00:56:53,881 --> 00:56:56,361
Speaker 4: I'm here. When they're seeing a man that would look

1161
00:56:56,401 --> 00:56:58,201
Speaker 4: like they're going to jump out, they can't say those things.

1162
00:56:58,201 --> 00:56:58,321
Speaker 1: Bro.

1163
00:56:58,441 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 4: Watch them every time.

1164
00:56:59,441 --> 00:57:02,281
Speaker 1: It's like he ran down the window and you had

1165
00:57:02,321 --> 00:57:06,281
Speaker 1: your fucking arm up and your hanging out. I've been

1166
00:57:06,281 --> 00:57:10,441
Speaker 1: off more than like a chewy like and then he's soft.

1167
00:57:10,801 --> 00:57:13,201
Speaker 4: Yeah boy, are you okay? Yeah? Like?

1168
00:57:13,401 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 1: And my taking that is, hey, what are you having

1169
00:57:15,481 --> 00:57:16,241
Speaker 1: to fucking go at me?

1170
00:57:16,481 --> 00:57:18,761
Speaker 4: Initially they do, but when they realized when you say

1171
00:57:18,801 --> 00:57:20,321
Speaker 4: the second time and definitely the third time, it de

1172
00:57:20,521 --> 00:57:23,401
Speaker 4: escalates the whole situation. And I look back to myself.

1173
00:57:23,721 --> 00:57:26,121
Speaker 4: You know, when I was triggered or I was unhurt

1174
00:57:26,201 --> 00:57:28,801
Speaker 4: or pain. If someone met me in that same frequency, bro,

1175
00:57:28,841 --> 00:57:31,921
Speaker 4: I'm fucking getting I'm going higher. But if someone met

1176
00:57:32,001 --> 00:57:34,481
Speaker 4: me in a lower frequency. Hey, brother, you actually okay?

1177
00:57:34,561 --> 00:57:37,641
Speaker 4: My fuck again, I've got nothing to fight with. And

1178
00:57:37,681 --> 00:57:41,001
Speaker 4: it actually happened maybe three weeks ago. Dude was right

1179
00:57:41,081 --> 00:57:43,001
Speaker 4: up mass fucking cut me. After that, I ended up

1180
00:57:43,041 --> 00:57:44,881
Speaker 4: some lights and I didn't need to go right, but

1181
00:57:44,961 --> 00:57:46,561
Speaker 4: I pulled up next to him and got real close

1182
00:57:46,601 --> 00:57:47,921
Speaker 4: and on one way and don't he thought they were

1183
00:57:47,921 --> 00:57:50,121
Speaker 4: about to go yeah, yeah, And I said, brother, you're okay,

1184
00:57:50,121 --> 00:57:52,681
Speaker 4: and he's like, fucking you're fucking going so slow. I said, no,

1185
00:57:52,721 --> 00:57:54,361
Speaker 4: I'm genuinely asking, bro. He lood like you having a

1186
00:57:54,361 --> 00:57:57,281
Speaker 4: bad day, fucking no fucking more about my day. I said, well,

1187
00:57:57,281 --> 00:57:58,801
Speaker 4: I'm just here to listen, bra if you need someone

1188
00:57:58,801 --> 00:58:01,241
Speaker 4: to talk to. And he stopped and he was just

1189
00:58:01,281 --> 00:58:03,801
Speaker 4: looking at me, confused as fucking He goes, oh, sorry, bro,

1190
00:58:04,201 --> 00:58:06,401
Speaker 4: and then wind his window and then I just drove off.

1191
00:58:06,561 --> 00:58:08,921
Speaker 4: And my hope is and I just trust that's what

1192
00:58:08,961 --> 00:58:09,921
Speaker 4: he is in that moment.

1193
00:58:10,041 --> 00:58:11,881
Speaker 1: And you know what else, bro, in which we don't

1194
00:58:11,921 --> 00:58:14,841
Speaker 1: think about, is the role on effect from that. He

1195
00:58:14,961 --> 00:58:18,001
Speaker 1: goes home to the wife and the kids. He was

1196
00:58:18,041 --> 00:58:21,001
Speaker 1: carrying a lot of anger and stress obviously for him

1197
00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:23,401
Speaker 1: to react in that manner, so he was already on edge.

1198
00:58:23,801 --> 00:58:26,761
Speaker 1: He gets home, seize the wife and please God. He

1199
00:58:26,761 --> 00:58:31,601
Speaker 1: walks in, gives her a kisses, Hey love, are you

1200
00:58:31,681 --> 00:58:32,161
Speaker 1: are you good?

1201
00:58:32,281 --> 00:58:32,481
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1202
00:58:32,481 --> 00:58:36,921
Speaker 1: I'm good. Hey kids, You by doing that just changed

1203
00:58:36,961 --> 00:58:40,241
Speaker 1: the whole chain of events that could possibly and most

1204
00:58:40,281 --> 00:58:46,041
Speaker 1: definitely have walked into a volatile environment or brought negativity

1205
00:58:46,081 --> 00:58:49,881
Speaker 1: into the home. Hey Love, how did I funk off?

1206
00:58:50,361 --> 00:58:52,681
Speaker 1: I'll be ready? You want dinner? Yeah? I went over.

1207
00:58:52,721 --> 00:58:55,081
Speaker 1: I'm ready. I'm gonna going for a shower. Hey dad,

1208
00:58:55,161 --> 00:58:56,961
Speaker 1: look can you fuck off and leave me alone? I

1209
00:58:56,961 --> 00:59:00,361
Speaker 1: want to? I just but no, by you in that

1210
00:59:00,481 --> 00:59:03,561
Speaker 1: moment of it could have been danger because the way

1211
00:59:03,601 --> 00:59:05,441
Speaker 1: that we don't know how people are going to react

1212
00:59:05,441 --> 00:59:08,521
Speaker 1: today with the way society is, and who's to say

1213
00:59:08,521 --> 00:59:09,841
Speaker 1: you didn't have a gun to just pull out start

1214
00:59:09,841 --> 00:59:11,721
Speaker 1: firing or jump out with a blade and start chopping.

1215
00:59:12,321 --> 00:59:17,041
Speaker 1: But you took that opportunity to be vulnerable. Although your

1216
00:59:17,081 --> 00:59:20,361
Speaker 1: presence would have showed that you were very capable of,

1217
00:59:20,801 --> 00:59:23,521
Speaker 1: you know, being a strong present man, but you showed

1218
00:59:23,561 --> 00:59:28,161
Speaker 1: a very gentle, kind, compassionate side. It made such a difference.

1219
00:59:28,361 --> 00:59:31,961
Speaker 4: Yeah, and like generally I don't have any fucking want

1220
00:59:32,001 --> 00:59:33,961
Speaker 4: to me to fight anyone anymore. If I had to

1221
00:59:34,001 --> 00:59:36,121
Speaker 4: protect my family hundredercent, I would, yeah, of course. But

1222
00:59:36,321 --> 00:59:37,641
Speaker 4: if someone was fighting me, Bro, I don't want to

1223
00:59:37,641 --> 00:59:40,881
Speaker 4: fight you. I'm walking away. I'm done with that. It's exhausting,

1224
00:59:40,961 --> 00:59:42,841
Speaker 4: and I've got so much love and compassion for you, brother,

1225
00:59:43,561 --> 00:59:47,961
Speaker 4: And I hope that by sharing this, another brother has

1226
00:59:47,961 --> 00:59:49,721
Speaker 4: an experience after listening to us and goes, you know,

1227
00:59:49,841 --> 00:59:51,801
Speaker 4: I'm going to fucking just meet this dude with peace.

1228
00:59:52,321 --> 00:59:54,641
Speaker 4: I imagine if we could let that flow, because it's

1229
00:59:54,681 --> 00:59:56,641
Speaker 4: not just that one experience, it flows back into that

1230
00:59:56,681 --> 00:59:59,361
Speaker 4: person's home and that person's home more so, I'm.

1231
00:59:59,281 --> 01:00:01,881
Speaker 1: Kind of light now thinking. I hope I get into.

1232
01:00:03,201 --> 01:00:03,721
Speaker 4: Practice.

1233
01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:06,881
Speaker 1: I don't. It's a bad thing to project that out there.

1234
01:00:06,921 --> 01:00:08,801
Speaker 1: Could see, like I said, it could go real sour

1235
01:00:08,881 --> 01:00:10,801
Speaker 1: and somebody might have a bad day and really just

1236
01:00:10,841 --> 01:00:13,601
Speaker 1: fucked my day right up. But I'm one of these

1237
01:00:13,601 --> 01:00:17,881
Speaker 1: people that likes to take something from every conversation, and

1238
01:00:17,921 --> 01:00:20,601
Speaker 1: in our conversation here right now, there's a lot to take.

1239
01:00:21,521 --> 01:00:23,841
Speaker 1: For starters, Please share your your page.

1240
01:00:24,201 --> 01:00:28,801
Speaker 4: Yeah, just a Mend movement, official Amend movement. And then

1241
01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:31,481
Speaker 4: my name's just wait, it's a new Wanger. Yeah, I

1242
01:00:31,601 --> 01:00:33,281
Speaker 4: like to try get them separate now because a lot

1243
01:00:33,281 --> 01:00:35,641
Speaker 4: of people will come to my personal page and asking

1244
01:00:35,721 --> 01:00:37,681
Speaker 4: stuff about the work. I'm like, the fuck, If you

1245
01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:39,241
Speaker 4: go to my page, you're probably not going to a response.

1246
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:41,241
Speaker 4: If you go to the men page, You're one hundred

1247
01:00:41,241 --> 01:00:43,001
Speaker 4: percent going to get a response. And I just had

1248
01:00:43,001 --> 01:00:45,321
Speaker 4: to put a boundary up there because you know, and

1249
01:00:45,481 --> 01:00:47,721
Speaker 4: I have compassion for people, but I've also got to

1250
01:00:47,761 --> 01:00:50,681
Speaker 4: have a boundary for myself because after the twentieth person

1251
01:00:50,721 --> 01:00:54,281
Speaker 4: that's just emotionally dumped the heavy story of sexual abuse

1252
01:00:54,401 --> 01:00:57,601
Speaker 4: or DV on me, I'm like, if I read five

1253
01:00:57,641 --> 01:00:58,561
Speaker 4: of those, I'm fucked.

1254
01:00:59,281 --> 01:01:01,721
Speaker 1: I've take a lot of podcasts, bro, Like you know,

1255
01:01:02,521 --> 01:01:04,721
Speaker 1: four and a half years, it's a lot of a

1256
01:01:04,761 --> 01:01:07,601
Speaker 1: lot of talk. And the first half of that journey

1257
01:01:07,921 --> 01:01:12,561
Speaker 1: was some truly heavy stories and traumatic stories of people's

1258
01:01:13,201 --> 01:01:17,641
Speaker 1: journeys that I didn't really think too much that would

1259
01:01:17,681 --> 01:01:19,481
Speaker 1: have an impact on me because I'm a survivor and

1260
01:01:19,561 --> 01:01:23,201
Speaker 1: you know, I'm being experienced this and I get it.

1261
01:01:24,001 --> 01:01:27,001
Speaker 1: Mate rattled me to the point where I was like

1262
01:01:27,361 --> 01:01:30,721
Speaker 1: saying that my producer Jay, let's knock it on the head,

1263
01:01:31,361 --> 01:01:35,001
Speaker 1: you know, like back I think season eight, Season nine,

1264
01:01:35,081 --> 01:01:38,721
Speaker 1: and I had to take a shift and realize these

1265
01:01:38,721 --> 01:01:42,001
Speaker 1: stories are also powerful and so giving, and these beautiful

1266
01:01:42,041 --> 01:01:46,001
Speaker 1: people have entrusted me to deliver their story, and I've

1267
01:01:46,041 --> 01:01:48,561
Speaker 1: tried to do it with such honor and respect, but

1268
01:01:48,641 --> 01:01:50,481
Speaker 1: I can't help but take it on and feel for

1269
01:01:50,521 --> 01:01:53,681
Speaker 1: these wonderful people in front of me. But then that

1270
01:01:53,761 --> 01:01:55,921
Speaker 1: just carried on and got heavier and heavier and heavier,

1271
01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:58,841
Speaker 1: and I didn't realize it, but that was changing me,

1272
01:02:00,841 --> 01:02:04,041
Speaker 1: It really did. So we had to take a different route.

1273
01:02:04,601 --> 01:02:08,201
Speaker 1: That route being now is sure. We talk about your

1274
01:02:08,241 --> 01:02:11,281
Speaker 1: initial stories and each of our guests, but we want

1275
01:02:11,281 --> 01:02:16,881
Speaker 1: to give people tools you hope, you know, valibility and

1276
01:02:17,521 --> 01:02:20,081
Speaker 1: enabling them to know that they can be anything they

1277
01:02:20,121 --> 01:02:22,601
Speaker 1: want in life. They don't have to be that angry person.

1278
01:02:23,441 --> 01:02:27,281
Speaker 1: We all do have our own genuine story, and everybody's

1279
01:02:27,281 --> 01:02:30,001
Speaker 1: story is worthy. But do we have to carry it

1280
01:02:30,081 --> 01:02:33,681
Speaker 1: through our life for them to reflect onto our next

1281
01:02:33,721 --> 01:02:38,521
Speaker 1: generation or our children or neighbors, friends, whatever. No, we

1282
01:02:38,561 --> 01:02:42,001
Speaker 1: can move forward and put that in its box and

1283
01:02:42,041 --> 01:02:44,481
Speaker 1: sit it on the shelf and say thank you, You've

1284
01:02:44,521 --> 01:02:45,801
Speaker 1: got me to this start of life.

1285
01:02:46,521 --> 01:02:51,281
Speaker 4: Now it's time for me to grow be a better human. Yeah. Absolutely,

1286
01:02:51,761 --> 01:02:53,961
Speaker 4: and I think that's a great example what you just said.

1287
01:02:54,281 --> 01:02:57,281
Speaker 4: Around the heavy ness of the first season. You know,

1288
01:02:57,481 --> 01:03:00,961
Speaker 4: so many people are so focused on what they're consuming nutritionally,

1289
01:03:01,521 --> 01:03:04,641
Speaker 4: it's like everything we consume affects us, good or bad.

1290
01:03:05,281 --> 01:03:08,201
Speaker 4: Even I you know, listen to podcasts or more probably

1291
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:10,401
Speaker 4: more importantly with people that notice as the conversations that

1292
01:03:10,401 --> 01:03:14,321
Speaker 4: we're having daily. Why because those conversations are so repetitive,

1293
01:03:15,121 --> 01:03:18,841
Speaker 4: and that's one way we program a subconscious mind as repetitive.

1294
01:03:19,841 --> 01:03:22,161
Speaker 4: So if we're repetitively having the same conversation with the

1295
01:03:22,161 --> 01:03:25,481
Speaker 4: same people and its negative shit, we're downloading that into

1296
01:03:25,481 --> 01:03:27,801
Speaker 4: our subconscious. It's going to take over and we will

1297
01:03:27,801 --> 01:03:29,601
Speaker 4: start to create from that frequency.

1298
01:03:31,841 --> 01:03:35,281
Speaker 1: You're a very very beautiful man. I want to remain

1299
01:03:35,321 --> 01:03:38,561
Speaker 1: in contact, connect and I'd love to look into doing

1300
01:03:39,201 --> 01:03:42,201
Speaker 1: something with you if I can have your time and

1301
01:03:42,281 --> 01:03:44,881
Speaker 1: when you're available and whatever, will just work it out.

1302
01:03:44,921 --> 01:03:47,121
Speaker 1: And for anybody else out there that wants to reach

1303
01:03:47,161 --> 01:03:51,601
Speaker 1: out to myself or why directly, please feel free to

1304
01:03:51,681 --> 01:03:55,601
Speaker 1: do it. I can honestly say, I'm leaving this conversation

1305
01:03:55,761 --> 01:04:00,081
Speaker 1: today with some really valuable tools, and I'm really really

1306
01:04:00,081 --> 01:04:03,521
Speaker 1: grateful it was I prepared for it, mat Am I

1307
01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:07,881
Speaker 1: taking back a bit. Yeah, and I'm excited about finding

1308
01:04:08,001 --> 01:04:12,001
Speaker 1: a bet of me. If you could give some advice,

1309
01:04:12,081 --> 01:04:15,481
Speaker 1: and it's just you don't leave the clink without leaving

1310
01:04:15,481 --> 01:04:20,041
Speaker 1: some tools brouh because all our people out there that

1311
01:04:20,121 --> 01:04:23,001
Speaker 1: need the help, that are in the struggle. What would

1312
01:04:23,041 --> 01:04:27,761
Speaker 1: be two really good tools that you would leave, Yeah,

1313
01:04:28,001 --> 01:04:29,201
Speaker 1: today's talk with.

1314
01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:33,081
Speaker 4: The first one would be probably not so much a tool,

1315
01:04:33,081 --> 01:04:36,041
Speaker 4: but a concept. And the concept is you are the

1316
01:04:36,041 --> 01:04:39,361
Speaker 4: most important person in the world. Yeah, so many of

1317
01:04:39,401 --> 01:04:41,801
Speaker 4: us people when I use parents as an example, we

1318
01:04:41,881 --> 01:04:43,961
Speaker 4: say our children the most important person in the world.

1319
01:04:44,361 --> 01:04:46,961
Speaker 4: And let's say I've got three children. That means I'm

1320
01:04:47,001 --> 01:04:49,641
Speaker 4: the fourth most important person in my world, meaning those

1321
01:04:49,641 --> 01:04:51,961
Speaker 4: three children are getting the fourth best version of their dad.

1322
01:04:53,121 --> 01:04:54,921
Speaker 4: Was I put myself at the top and fill my

1323
01:04:54,961 --> 01:04:57,681
Speaker 4: own cup. They get the overflow of me feeling amazing

1324
01:04:57,681 --> 01:05:00,761
Speaker 4: about myself. So it'd be the first thing is like

1325
01:05:01,361 --> 01:05:08,001
Speaker 4: start placing importance in your life from self view. I

1326
01:05:08,001 --> 01:05:09,601
Speaker 4: mean the second one is, you know, a lot of

1327
01:05:09,601 --> 01:05:11,961
Speaker 4: the work we do is people you know, retracing their

1328
01:05:12,001 --> 01:05:15,681
Speaker 4: story and doing lots of healing. And I think it's needed,

1329
01:05:16,161 --> 01:05:18,841
Speaker 4: but it's not, there's not so much time needed in

1330
01:05:18,841 --> 01:05:22,761
Speaker 4: that space. I actually think it's starting to be it's glorified,

1331
01:05:23,161 --> 01:05:26,321
Speaker 4: you know, all my pain and my trauma and people

1332
01:05:26,321 --> 01:05:29,361
Speaker 4: getting all the lots of attension from it. The beautifulness. Actually,

1333
01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:32,361
Speaker 4: once you've done that, work to come across to the creation. Okay,

1334
01:05:32,361 --> 01:05:34,241
Speaker 4: what the fuck do I want now? Because what's the

1335
01:05:34,281 --> 01:05:35,801
Speaker 4: point of doing the healing if you don't get to

1336
01:05:35,841 --> 01:05:40,201
Speaker 4: the what you want in the end. So yes, through

1337
01:05:40,241 --> 01:05:42,841
Speaker 4: the healing, but also focus on what you want and start.

1338
01:05:42,681 --> 01:05:47,321
Speaker 1: To create that. We thank you so much for being

1339
01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:50,721
Speaker 1: here today. Thank you for allowing me to open up

1340
01:05:52,961 --> 01:05:57,081
Speaker 1: once again. I was faced to be interviewing you being

1341
01:05:57,681 --> 01:06:01,441
Speaker 1: somebody that needed to be heard, I guess, And thank

1342
01:06:01,521 --> 01:06:03,881
Speaker 1: you to everybody that's taken the time to listen to

1343
01:06:03,881 --> 01:06:07,441
Speaker 1: this episode. It's definitely it's a very different one and

1344
01:06:07,561 --> 01:06:09,801
Speaker 1: one that I'm really really honored and proud that we

1345
01:06:09,961 --> 01:06:14,201
Speaker 1: got to really do. Can I ask that maybe, you know,

1346
01:06:14,641 --> 01:06:17,441
Speaker 1: in a next six months or twelve months, we get

1347
01:06:17,441 --> 01:06:20,401
Speaker 1: you back on here and just see where it's at

1348
01:06:20,481 --> 01:06:24,041
Speaker 1: and what I was doing in the world. And I

1349
01:06:24,081 --> 01:06:27,041
Speaker 1: feel that, you know, there'd be quite a few people

1350
01:06:27,081 --> 01:06:30,761
Speaker 1: that will receive this well, and I think that we

1351
01:06:30,801 --> 01:06:34,601
Speaker 1: could definitely do another another episode, a part two. Would

1352
01:06:34,601 --> 01:06:35,281
Speaker 1: you be open to that?

1353
01:06:35,481 --> 01:06:38,201
Speaker 4: Yeah, But it's been my absolute pleasure and I've been

1354
01:06:38,321 --> 01:06:42,241
Speaker 4: really grateful that you were so open to going to

1355
01:06:42,361 --> 01:06:45,601
Speaker 4: the places and spaces that the conversation took us. And

1356
01:06:45,641 --> 01:06:47,201
Speaker 4: I would absolutely love to come back.

1357
01:06:48,241 --> 01:06:52,081
Speaker 1: Big love to you, my man, and I am I'm

1358
01:06:52,121 --> 01:06:53,361
Speaker 1: going to give you a hug when I walk out.

1359
01:06:53,961 --> 01:06:55,961
Speaker 1: I just need to. Yeah, I need to give you

1360
01:06:56,001 --> 01:06:59,801
Speaker 1: that hug. And guys, thank you, thank you very much

1361
01:06:59,801 --> 01:07:02,601
Speaker 1: for taking the time to sit down and listen to

1362
01:07:02,881 --> 01:07:06,521
Speaker 1: the Clink a very special episode. Please take care of

1363
01:07:06,601 --> 01:07:09,641
Speaker 1: yourself and remember to reach out at any time. My

1364
01:07:10,281 --> 01:07:12,361
Speaker 1: door is always open. You can catch me at the

1365
01:07:12,401 --> 01:07:15,841
Speaker 1: Clink podcast on Instagram. While one more time, if you

1366
01:07:15,881 --> 01:07:20,441
Speaker 1: could just please give everybody your page official in Movement

1367
01:07:21,121 --> 01:07:24,441
Speaker 1: in www dot amin movement dot com as our website.

1368
01:07:24,961 --> 01:07:28,681
Speaker 1: There you have it, guys, Wow, stay tuned for the

1369
01:07:28,721 --> 01:07:32,441
Speaker 1: next episode, and thank you very much. This is the Click.

1370
01:07:34,001 --> 01:07:38,001
Speaker 2: Photo Record. Don't try and make you out comfortable, photo Record.

1371
01:07:38,081 --> 01:07:41,281
Speaker 2: You try and world and stuff for your photo record

1372
01:07:41,441 --> 01:07:44,881
Speaker 2: lab on me going hard to work. Photo Record, ain't

1373
01:07:44,881 --> 01:07:47,201
Speaker 2: trying link not trying to wish for

1374
01:07:52,081 --> 01:07:57,641
Speaker 3: Photo ragged red foto ragged foto ragged