Speaker 1: O God, I term it's a bloody you project. It's Harps,
Speaker 1: It's Monday and the thriving drops. It's the twentieth of
Speaker 1: April twenty twenty six. One of my favorite people to
Speaker 1: come on the show, and that is absolutely true. We
Speaker 1: get him as often as we can as Dr cam
Speaker 1: McDonald up in the sunshine, Sunshine State, just bloody hanging
Speaker 1: out with the menana trees and the beaches and people
Speaker 1: in bikinis. Is it How is it up there?
Speaker 2: It's still bikini weather, that's for sure. I mean there's
Speaker 2: a few people that are getting cold.
Speaker 3: Oh they're just sun but I am still in my
Speaker 3: board shorts walking stocking in the stock You just stop,
Speaker 3: you just cut out, say start from There's a few people,
Speaker 3: there's a few people that are still finding it a
Speaker 3: bit cold, but I am still in my board shorts
Speaker 3: walking the park in the morning with no temperature control
Speaker 3: at all, so it's still lovely for me.
Speaker 1: It's an uncharacteristic This sounds like two old guys talking.
Speaker 1: Sorry anyone, but it is an uncharacteristically warm week down
Speaker 1: here in Melbourne. It is mostly kind of low to
Speaker 1: even higher twenties for the whole week. Which is bloody
Speaker 1: obscene but also enjoyable.
Speaker 2: I thought we want it's exactly it helps the old bones,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Now, my listeners may probably hear nothing, but can you
Speaker 1: hear that concrete cutter in the background?
Speaker 2: Mate?
Speaker 1: No, oh, that's good. There's a man or two men
Speaker 1: everyone who are wearing bloody high vs vests outside my
Speaker 1: house right now cutting concrete and it's about an eight
Speaker 1: out of ten volume in my room where I am
Speaker 1: right now. So if these questions are stupid, just bear
Speaker 1: with me. But well, firstly, let's catch up. Are you
Speaker 1: all right? How's work? How's life? How are you? How's
Speaker 1: your health?
Speaker 3: A good?
Speaker 2: Actually, I've you know what I had?
Speaker 3: A Really, My CEO is probably the most gifted person
Speaker 3: that I know on the planet when it comes to
Speaker 3: understanding the human psyche and.
Speaker 2: Matt Reeman Matt Reeman for you, is it just.
Speaker 1: Is it just natural inherence? Intuitive? Or has he studied
Speaker 1: the shipload or both?
Speaker 2: It's both.
Speaker 3: So he's got the most capacity that I've ever met
Speaker 3: of anybody to interpret a person and what's going on
Speaker 3: for them on all levels. And then he has got
Speaker 3: classical health training as well, so he understands all of
Speaker 3: the physiology and neurochemistry that goes on.
Speaker 2: And then he's an.
Speaker 3: Entrepreneur and does a whole lot of really really cool things.
Speaker 3: But he's just got he's just he's just one of these.
Speaker 2: Foods that.
Speaker 3: You can follow really easily, that's for sure, because he's
Speaker 3: he's just got all together.
Speaker 2: It's it's pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: Does he have? You know how a lot of people
Speaker 1: have lots of knowledge but they're not or lots of understanding,
Speaker 1: lots of intuitive awareness. They get stuff, but they perhaps
Speaker 1: never learned that or read that anywhere, or they didn't
Speaker 1: get told that. And then there's other people who are
Speaker 1: academically brilliant. They know a lot, they remember a lot,
Speaker 1: and they can use that in their work. And then
Speaker 1: there's the kind of the the people who are socially, emotionally,
Speaker 1: conversationally brilliant but perhaps not necessarily academics. And then you
Speaker 1: get these fucking phenoms that can do all of that, right,
Speaker 1: is he one of them?
Speaker 2: He's that bloke? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Wow, he's that guy wow yeah, And he's he yeah,
Speaker 4: So I think there's all There's a doco who being
Speaker 4: filmed on him right now that will be coming out
Speaker 4: sooner rather than later.
Speaker 3: But yeah, just about all of his capacities and his
Speaker 3: gifts and various things like that. And I've been firsthand
Speaker 3: witnessed to it. And one of the things that he
Speaker 3: played around with me, I was getting stuck in this
Speaker 3: idea of lack and I've realized just talking to friends
Speaker 3: that actually doesn't matter how much you've got, you can
Speaker 3: still have a really powerful lack story going on.
Speaker 2: I don't have enough.
Speaker 3: I was stuck in that a little bit, and I
Speaker 3: was letting it sort of spiral me down a touch.
Speaker 3: And he's just very good at having these conversations of like, well,
Speaker 3: there's a higher part of your consciousness that can really
Speaker 3: see the beauty in all things, and then there's also
Speaker 3: a lower part of it that is going to just
Speaker 3: circle around on this very you know, I don't have
Speaker 3: enough money, the physicality of things, and it all just
Speaker 3: depends on where you want to see it from. And
Speaker 3: so he took me through this process of you might
Speaker 3: look at it like you don't have enough, and there's
Speaker 3: a few there's actually a number of different ways of looking.
Speaker 2: At that, and it's a heads or tails thing.
Speaker 3: You know, you can swear black and blue that that
Speaker 3: coin is a tail, and you're can have somebody else
Speaker 3: looking at that exact.
Speaker 2: Same coin saying that's one hundred percent heads mate.
Speaker 3: And so he gave that analogy and what he did,
Speaker 3: and both of us have we're pretty open. Well, he
Speaker 3: teaches it essentially, but I have a good sense of
Speaker 3: I believe that we're all sort of part of the
Speaker 3: one consciousness. We're all having separate experiences. That's my belief system.
Speaker 3: I don't push it on any people, but it works
Speaker 3: for me. And at that level he goes, may just
Speaker 3: go up to that level for a second and you'll
Speaker 3: see that, well, all of this is just meant to
Speaker 3: happen because we're all having an experience. This isn't good
Speaker 3: or bad. This is just a thing that's happening right now.
Speaker 3: And in the quantum realm, all of these moments are
Speaker 3: happening all at once.
Speaker 2: There's actually no time and space.
Speaker 3: It's all just there. This is one of the moments
Speaker 3: in time. Okay, great, So there's no charge to that
Speaker 3: at all. And then the second layer down is where
Speaker 3: in your life do you have abundance? Like if you
Speaker 3: if you lost at all, what would you do? And
Speaker 3: I'm in a really fortunate situation when my parents live
Speaker 3: in NUSA and have got a house big enough that
Speaker 3: I could go and live there if everything went to shit,
Speaker 3: you know, said mate, So you're saying, the worst case
Speaker 3: scenario is you'd be assuming each morning with your dad,
Speaker 3: and you'd have a room, and you'd have a house
Speaker 3: being cleaned and because all of that sort of stuff,
Speaker 3: and then you've got you've got healthy kids, and you've
Speaker 3: got work that you love, and like, you've got all
Speaker 3: of these things that are incredible abundance. And then and
Speaker 3: then the next step down is if you then were
Speaker 3: to bring it down into a more three dimensional level,
Speaker 3: but still higher than where you've been sitting right now,
Speaker 3: it's a really good lesson for you to feel like
Speaker 3: you have lack So why.
Speaker 2: Do you need that experience right now?
Speaker 3: And then you go through the process of well, it's
Speaker 3: teaching me resilience, it's teaching me for reality, it's teaching
Speaker 3: me appreciation, teaching me that I actually don't even have
Speaker 3: a desire for money. I just desire purposeful work and
Speaker 3: my kids being healthy and having a great life. And
Speaker 3: if I don't, if I've got enough money for that,
Speaker 3: which ultimately a lot of it's free, then I've got enough.
Speaker 3: And so it was just rather than just saying, oh,
Speaker 3: what's the lesson in this, or you know, what can
Speaker 3: you do to get out of this, he just took
Speaker 3: me up to the looking at things from a head's
Speaker 3: space rather than.
Speaker 2: A tail space.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I had one of the most fascinating experiences.
Speaker 3: He said, what you need to do is you need
Speaker 3: to sit down and you need to write down all
Speaker 3: of the stories in your brain that are from a
Speaker 3: tales perspective, like where things aren't enough, when you're not
Speaker 3: good enough, relationships, all of that sort of stuff, and
Speaker 3: you just need to spend a couple of hours on
Speaker 3: it and just like just watch what happens. So I
Speaker 3: started writing some things down and literally I was doing
Speaker 3: an exercise on lack, particularly around finances, and I was
Speaker 3: just writing out, you know, this is a great experience
Speaker 3: and it's teaching me this and I'm getting this out
Speaker 3: of it. And what am I going to say when
Speaker 3: people say, hey, Cam, like shouldn't you be earning more
Speaker 3: money or whatever it might be, what are you going
Speaker 3: to say to them to stay in the heads perspective? Literally,
Speaker 3: as I am doing that and I've done that exercise
Speaker 3: three or four times. Two out of the three times
Speaker 3: that I've done it, I've had people contact me to
Speaker 3: pay me money. And then and then I've had the
Speaker 3: biggest or the biggest relatively bigger sales of my career
Speaker 3: have dropped in.
Speaker 2: Exactly those days that I've been doing that stuff. And
Speaker 2: it was just the most powerful. However you want to
Speaker 2: ascribe it, it doesn't matter. It was. It's been the
Speaker 2: most spectacular shift. And I've always known.
Speaker 3: Now I see things from a higher perspective, like it's
Speaker 3: not new. But for whatever reason, this bit of advice,
Speaker 3: and this is part of Matt's gift. He just gave
Speaker 3: me the right advice at the right time. And just
Speaker 3: as soon as I started connecting back up with that,
Speaker 3: I just started laughing, like I had all of this
Speaker 3: emotion car I was like, what almost spending so much
Speaker 3: bloody time just focusing on I don't have enough?
Speaker 2: And I know that for some people it gets seen
Speaker 2: as spiritual bypassing.
Speaker 3: You know, just say, oh, what's the benefit of this,
Speaker 3: or you don't understand I've got to feed my kids
Speaker 3: and blah blah ah, this bad stuff has happened.
Speaker 2: It's just and what I'm trying to do.
Speaker 3: Right now, is I'm trying to take every moment in
Speaker 3: my life up to a head's perspective, just to see
Speaker 3: what happens, just.
Speaker 2: To run an experiment.
Speaker 3: It has been absolutely fascinating so that that has just
Speaker 3: dramatically improved. It's just honed my ability to understand what
Speaker 3: state do I want to be in? How can I
Speaker 3: get into that state? And it's interesting how just the
Speaker 3: timing of my exercise when I do my little vision
Speaker 3: set for the day, the work that I'm going about,
Speaker 3: the way that I'm reflecting on the day.
Speaker 2: I've just done some little additional practices that have.
Speaker 3: Been in the line with that, and things are just flying,
Speaker 3: Like it's just been so fascinating to get out of
Speaker 3: that garbage and just you know, it's.
Speaker 2: The same event.
Speaker 3: I see it as a head, sat as a tails
Speaker 3: and it's been absolutely phenomenal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. So many things that fascinate me
Speaker 1: about this and I talk about this and related to
Speaker 1: this stuff all the time, and it's like that I
Speaker 1: call sometimes I call it looking for a needle of
Speaker 1: negativity and a haystack of hope. Like people have got
Speaker 1: fucking ninety eight good things going on in their life,
Speaker 1: and two that are maybe not awesome, and all their attention,
Speaker 1: focus and energy goes on the two yes, And that's like,
Speaker 1: I think, a couple of not solutions, but strategies for
Speaker 1: around that. For me, it's a kind of a bigger
Speaker 1: than me awareness, and it's knowing that this is not
Speaker 1: the reality. This is my story about the objective reality.
Speaker 1: This is my ongoing, ever present, subjective Craig experience in
Speaker 1: the middle of just what is right and nothing means
Speaker 1: anything on Planet Craig until I give it meaning. Now,
Speaker 1: if I assign that a bad meaning, I have a
Speaker 1: bad experience. If I assign it interesting, I'm interested. If
Speaker 1: I think, oh, that's curious, I'm curious. If I think
Speaker 1: it's hilarious, I fucking laugh. Right. If I think it's
Speaker 1: tragic and sad, I'm crying. The person next to me
Speaker 1: goes through the same situation or that has the same
Speaker 1: stimulus but a totally different response, I'm legitimately sad. They're
Speaker 1: legitimately not sad, confronted with the same objective reality. And
Speaker 1: so I think this realizing that we are constantly just
Speaker 1: looking through the Kraig lens or the cam lens full
Speaker 1: of our own thinking and bias and prejudice and skills
Speaker 1: and all our bullshit, the good bullshit, the bad bullshit,
Speaker 1: and realizing that this is in reality, this is my reality,
Speaker 1: and I'm creating it and where does that come from?
Speaker 1: And trying to have a level of self awareness. I
Speaker 1: think the beginning of consciousness, like real deep consciousness and
Speaker 1: awareness is firstly recognizing your lack of consciousness, like I
Speaker 1: am moving through the world and conversations and situations and
Speaker 1: stuff unconsciously and unconsciously labeling shit. Oh fuck, this is
Speaker 1: a catashphi and now I have a catastrophe. You know.
Speaker 1: I was talking to someone this morning about without mentioning stuff.
Speaker 1: I've mentioned my parents fair bit on the show, but
Speaker 1: my parents are, you know, heading towards the home straight
Speaker 1: like they've Hopefully it's not, you know, I said, the
Speaker 1: check and flags in sight, And this person I was
Speaker 1: talking through is laughing, right, and I said, hopefully not
Speaker 1: too soon, you know. But it's like they're eighty six
Speaker 1: and there's lots of challenges and I hope they're around
Speaker 1: for another five years or more, but it just is
Speaker 1: what it is. And then there's you know, like I'm
Speaker 1: submitting my PhD in four weeks, and then I've got
Speaker 1: a few friends I had, you know. Anyway, it doesn't
Speaker 1: but lots of shit. And in the middle of it,
Speaker 1: none of it I can control. I can't control the outcome.
Speaker 1: I go, all right, well, what can I do which
Speaker 1: might be a positive influence or impact on that person,
Speaker 1: which might be of help or value. Let me do that.
Speaker 1: But it's very difficult because we're so emotionally driven, and
Speaker 1: we believe our emotions and your emotions is going this
Speaker 1: is a fucking catastrophe, mate, What are you bullshitting yourself?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: And it's like, oh is it? And then my nervous
Speaker 1: systems go, system goes, oh, of course it is. And
Speaker 1: now that thing is is inhabiting us, not the other
Speaker 1: way around. So that's this. When I talk to corporates,
Speaker 1: this is not the right word. I don't mean this offensively,
Speaker 1: but dumb it down. And we talk about the external
Speaker 1: world in the internal world, and I go external world,
Speaker 1: and I right, situation, circumstance, environment, government, traffic lights, other people,
Speaker 1: bank balanced, blab But these are these are things you
Speaker 1: can't in the moment anyway. Bank balance, maybe the exception,
Speaker 1: but these are things you can't control. More broadly, what
Speaker 1: other people do, say be well, they like you, not
Speaker 1: like you. You can move the needle a bit, right.
Speaker 1: But here's all the shit. So that's my external world,
Speaker 1: whether you know, whatever internal world is thoughts and feelings
Speaker 1: and data processing and meaning giving and storytelling and realizing
Speaker 1: that I don't live in an external world. That's where
Speaker 1: I do life. But where I live is in that
Speaker 1: internal place, and it's that internal world that drives all
Speaker 1: my physiology to a large extent, one way or the other,
Speaker 1: better or worse. And then I don't know I might
Speaker 1: be If I sound arrogant listeners, I apologize, but I
Speaker 1: don't know that. Too many people really try to zoom
Speaker 1: out from the in the moment me experience right now,
Speaker 1: to get like a high level perspective, like to be
Speaker 1: the observer of the self in the middle of shit.
Speaker 1: It's like, oh no, this is just you know. And
Speaker 1: sometimes I like, I'm really good under pressure. I do
Speaker 1: not know why, but if something fucking terrible happens, you
Speaker 1: want me there because I'm good. But there will be
Speaker 1: other things that are not catastrophic that I won't cope
Speaker 1: with as well as the average person perhaps you know,
Speaker 1: and then that trying to understand what you are opening
Speaker 1: the door on. I can regulate me, I can understand
Speaker 1: me better. Oh, my stories aren't the reality. My stories
Speaker 1: are stories. They're interpretations of things. But the problem is,
Speaker 1: or one of the problems, is my body can't tell
Speaker 1: the difference between what I think and what is real.
Speaker 1: So that do you know what I'm saying? So I think,
Speaker 1: which is why And we've spoken about this before. I
Speaker 1: think people wake up in the middle of a fucking
Speaker 1: horrendous dream which is completely untrue. You know that is
Speaker 1: not the reality, but your body he doesn't know that.
Speaker 1: For five minutes, like you wake up, heart rates up,
Speaker 1: All these things are happening despite the fact that there
Speaker 1: is no risk, there is no drama. You are not
Speaker 1: in trouble, you are safe, you are okay, And it's
Speaker 1: trying to you know. That's the not always symbiotic relationship
Speaker 1: of mind, you know, emotion, physiology, and trying to navigate
Speaker 1: life with some level of awareness and understanding and perhaps
Speaker 1: self regulation. In the middle of the ship, we can't regulate. Yes,
Speaker 1: steps down off soapbox. I love it.
Speaker 3: And what there's so many things about that. One of
Speaker 3: the things that I've noticed is that there is no
Speaker 3: end to understanding yourself, like the layers that come off,
Speaker 3: and you'll you'll go through the same lesson three or
Speaker 3: four times, but every time you go through the lesson,
Speaker 3: it's with another layer of awareness, another layer of consciousness,
Speaker 3: and that lack of consciousness it's not just a matter
Speaker 3: of Obviously, you can increase that by deciding to be.
Speaker 2: More aware and taking a more observer look at your life.
Speaker 3: Then there are things that obviously, and we've spoken about
Speaker 3: this previous ones as well, is the subconscious elements of
Speaker 3: things and stuff that you're not even aware of even
Speaker 3: and when you try and be aware, and it's and
Speaker 3: that's obviously where the right mentalist can really help you. Psychotherapist,
Speaker 3: whatever it may be, whatever your flavor is. But I'd
Speaker 3: have to say that a lot of the I'm getting
Speaker 3: stuff and holding it better because I cleared a bunch
Speaker 3: of subconscious stuff. And I know we spoke about that previously.
Speaker 3: The things that are landing for me now, they used
Speaker 3: to be things I couldn't let go of, like the negativity,
Speaker 3: and now I find that I could literally just choose
Speaker 3: to switch my brain and think about it in a
Speaker 3: different way and immediately my state changes. Whereas and when
Speaker 3: you hear Bruce Lipton talk about this is very interesting
Speaker 3: that ninety five percent of your world is being constructed
Speaker 3: by your subconscious and so if you're not aware of
Speaker 3: that stuff, then I can be giving this thing about oh,
Speaker 3: just flip everything into our heads and towels.
Speaker 2: You go, Okay, that doesn't work for me. That's because
Speaker 2: we'll probably.
Speaker 3: Because there's some subconscious stuff that's still playing out that's
Speaker 3: blocking your ability to just flip.
Speaker 2: Your mindset and go that way too.
Speaker 3: So I just want to put that as a disclaimer
Speaker 3: because the advice that works for one person generally doesn't
Speaker 3: work for the next person because their situation is so
Speaker 3: different and the things that stresses.
Speaker 2: Them out are so different as well.
Speaker 1: I think, also, yeah, I love that, but we're not
Speaker 1: trying to Firstly, I think everyone knows by now, and
Speaker 1: we're not trying to direct people or prescribe anything for people.
Speaker 1: But it's I think it's like this, it's a journey, right,
Speaker 1: It's not like here's a strategy, do this and this
Speaker 1: will be the outcome. No, fuck that, because you know,
Speaker 1: we don't even to it. You know, this is my research,
Speaker 1: like you know metapception, metaaccuracy, theory of mind, metacognition, Like
Speaker 1: we don't even know what we're like. Really, we only
Speaker 1: know our version of us. And one of the questions
Speaker 1: I ask groups is I walk in and often in
Speaker 1: the first minute or two, if I'm going to talk
Speaker 1: about self awareness and communication and context and culture and
Speaker 1: problem solving and conflict resolution and all that communication y
Speaker 1: into personal human e stuff, I say, I'm going to
Speaker 1: ask you a question. I need you to be honest,
Speaker 1: straight up, put up your hand if you've heard your
Speaker 1: voice on audio recording, And people reluctantly put up their hands,
Speaker 1: shaken the head, and I go, how many of you
Speaker 1: think you sound shit? And they all go me, I
Speaker 1: sound shit on And I go, well, how you sound
Speaker 1: on audio is exactly how we all hear you all
Speaker 1: the time, right, So you know you think you've got
Speaker 1: that when it's recorded, your voice is different. It's whiny
Speaker 1: and it's shitty. I go, no, that is the voice
Speaker 1: that the rest of us. You don't even know what
Speaker 1: you sound like because none of us live in your head.
Speaker 1: We don't hear what you hear. Now, even that as
Speaker 1: kind of an open of the door to realizing not
Speaker 1: only do you not know how people see you, you
Speaker 1: don't even know how you sound because we're we're hearing
Speaker 1: you through different modalities, you know, and that that where
Speaker 1: you go, because that's a nice kind of entree into
Speaker 1: oh yeah, what is the rest of me? Like, well,
Speaker 1: if that's what my voice is like for everyone, what's
Speaker 1: my personality? Like, what's my energy? Like, what's my body language? Like,
Speaker 1: what's what's my actual language that you know, Craig stop
Speaker 1: saying fuck, this is not the right environment, you know,
Speaker 1: or or where you start to try to see yourself
Speaker 1: from a curiosity perspective, not a I'm insecure perspective, but like,
Speaker 1: what is the Craig experience like? And I talk to
Speaker 1: speakers about this often because I coach speakers, and I go,
Speaker 1: here's here's the deal. You can get up and have
Speaker 1: you know, the best content, and you could have rehearse
Speaker 1: whor you're blue in the face and you've got I
Speaker 1: don't know, you've basically got a forty five minute monologue,
Speaker 1: which I do not recommend any potential speakers. I do
Speaker 1: not recommend that. Neither do I recommend forty seven PowerPoint slides,
Speaker 1: don't never use them, but don't use them like that.
Speaker 1: And then that whole thing of like being on stage,
Speaker 1: and which is if you're in experienced, obviously it's difficult,
Speaker 1: it's nerve wracking, or it can be it's you know,
Speaker 1: But then in real time one trying to be calm,
Speaker 1: trying to be very aware of why you're there and
Speaker 1: your messages and stories and ideas, but perhaps most importantly,
Speaker 1: trying to understand what the audience are getting right now
Speaker 1: in this moment. Because you could be a genius. You
Speaker 1: could be your mate, the superstar, right who's a legit genius,
Speaker 1: but he gets in front of them, which I'm sure
Speaker 1: he wouldn't, But you know, you could have someone of
Speaker 1: that quality or intelligence or potential or aptitude, but they
Speaker 1: don't know how to connect with an audience and they
Speaker 1: don't know what the Brian experience is like for the
Speaker 1: group or whatever it is. And now you're all over
Speaker 1: the shop. So that kind of multi layered cognitive understanding
Speaker 1: and emotional and psychological and sociological understanding of the self
Speaker 1: and of the others. It's like a superpower. When your
Speaker 1: job is talking, yeah or sharing or educating or leading,
Speaker 1: or being a mom or dad or anything that involves connection.
Speaker 1: This is a superpower understanding how others think.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And that's been the I keep reflecting.
Speaker 3: We've got a beautiful She's a forty year experienced social
Speaker 3: worker with creditation and mental health and family therapy and trauma,
Speaker 3: and she runs a lot of our precision behavior change content,
Speaker 3: which is all about how people's biology changes the way
Speaker 3: that they think, the lens that they see things through,
Speaker 3: the way that they filter information, and in relationships, in
Speaker 3: parenting in a health professional space. And every time I
Speaker 3: listen to it, it's like, ah, like you just realize
Speaker 3: how many of your biases you think are good, you know,
Speaker 3: the way that you're expressing things, the way that you're
Speaker 3: thinking things through. I've got some really close friends that
Speaker 3: I get into a deep conversation with them, like let's
Speaker 3: really unpack this and get some structure and certainty around it,
Speaker 3: and they just detest it because they want to be
Speaker 3: having fun things, being a bit more sparky and spicy.
Speaker 3: And it's just I think that I'm doing the best
Speaker 3: thing by getting really deep. They're just thinking, oh, we
Speaker 3: just have to tolerate this still cams done. It's just
Speaker 3: so fascinating, and when both people are aware of both
Speaker 3: people's biases, it just runs so much better. There's so
Speaker 3: much more acceptance, and yes, it's just a better relationship
Speaker 3: as a result.
Speaker 1: And also the tenness and humility and authenticity for you
Speaker 1: to go. Some people won't vibe with me, some people won't.
Speaker 1: You know, if you've got one hundred people listening to you,
Speaker 1: I mean we've got thousands listening to this over the
Speaker 1: days when it's heard, guaranteed someone thinks that's an absolute shit.
Speaker 1: If not ten or twenty people, which is completely fine.
Speaker 1: Somebody else has a bit inspired, someone else's curious, somebody
Speaker 1: else's harps, you've been here before, fucking let's go down
Speaker 1: or whatever. And there are a bunch of people probably
Speaker 1: just driving to work or doing their workout or who
Speaker 1: are going, ah, yeah, this is relevant to me because
Speaker 1: I'm a human as well. So what you do is
Speaker 1: you try. And I know I'm not going to connect
Speaker 1: with everyone. I know I'm not going to land with everyone.
Speaker 1: But what I do know is the stuff that we're
Speaker 1: talking about is universally relevant because we're all humans and
Speaker 1: we all have relationships and we all have problems, and
Speaker 1: we all have to build trust, respect, rapport connection some stage.
Speaker 1: So then you lean into that and try to make
Speaker 1: it as I try to make it as unacademic, as unjargoning,
Speaker 1: as user friendly as possible, because the more listener slash
Speaker 1: user friendly it is, the greater the potential for somebody
Speaker 1: to do something with that in their life and create
Speaker 1: shift in a good way. Because you and I are changing, Dick.
Speaker 1: You know, we're not changing anyone. We're just two blokes
Speaker 1: talking about stuff. But the better that we do our job,
Speaker 1: the more valu valuable it is for people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: Just and it's one of those things, geez, I really
Speaker 3: needed to hear that today, you know, like you get
Speaker 3: people that are just I've heard this before, but it's
Speaker 3: just said in a different way, and it really hit
Speaker 3: me where I need to like means do the same.
Speaker 2: Thing to me as well. You know, you just go,
Speaker 2: you know that really makes sense today. Whereas for other
Speaker 2: people exactly as you're saying, it's yep, I've heard it.
Speaker 2: Nice confirmation, but I'm flicking off right now. Not a problem. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 1: This is seems like a red herring. But if you've
Speaker 1: heard this story, stop me. But I was taught.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: I was listening to what is her name? Her surname
Speaker 1: is Zoftness, which is the weirdest name ever, respect z
Speaker 1: O F F N doubles. It might be Rachel anyway,
Speaker 1: google that if you want everyone. She she's written this
Speaker 1: book which is Phenomenon. I'm listening to it. And she
Speaker 1: was on another podcast that slips my mind. But she's
Speaker 1: talking about she's a researcher. She was talking about, you know,
Speaker 1: the relationship between you know, mind, brain, nervous system, all
Speaker 1: kind of attached and emotion and behavior and physiology and
Speaker 1: all that stuff that you love and I love. And
Speaker 1: she's talking about a guy who was working on a
Speaker 1: building site and he was up on a truck unloading
Speaker 1: shit and he jumped down off the truck and he
Speaker 1: landed on a piece of wood that had a seven
Speaker 1: inch nail sticking straight up. Have you heard this story? No,
Speaker 1: So he jumps on this piece of wood. The nail
Speaker 1: goes through his foot and boot and he he doesn't
Speaker 1: even know, and then he looks down and sees it
Speaker 1: and is in immediate agony and like screaming. So workmates
Speaker 1: come listen as if you've heard this, I apologize half
Speaker 1: of you have. Half you haven't. People come running and
Speaker 1: they're like, oh my god. So they don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. Obviously can't get the boot off because it's
Speaker 1: got this fucking nail through the boot and the foot
Speaker 1: and up through the soul, up through the leather. Whole
Speaker 1: shooting match. The paramedics come or whatever this was in
Speaker 1: the States, so whatever they're called over there, and those
Speaker 1: paramedics and he actually it might have been in straight
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Stories are same. They come and they give
Speaker 1: him the whatever it is they give him in that place,
Speaker 1: could have been the green whistle or the equivalent, like
Speaker 1: the most painkiller you can have inhale it and most
Speaker 1: people get somewhere between pretty good relief and a lot
Speaker 1: of relief. He got none. He was still off the
Speaker 1: chart in pain. Took him. The hospital got him in there,
Speaker 1: medicated him up. They were waiting for the doctor to arrive,
Speaker 1: which took I don't know, another five or ten minutes.
Speaker 1: In that time, he was just in a cute, screaming pain.
Speaker 1: The doctor comes in, they've got this whole shit. They're
Speaker 1: going to cut the boot off and then just deal
Speaker 1: with whatever. They cut the boot off and he looks.
Speaker 1: The doctor looks and he goes, he didn't say this,
Speaker 1: but this is what he said. He goes, bro It
Speaker 1: didn't touch her foot. It went through his big toe
Speaker 1: and his second toe. I'm demonstrating for cam with my
Speaker 1: fingers here. Everyone sorry about the lack of visual but
Speaker 1: it went between his big toe and his second toe.
Speaker 1: It went through the up, through the top of the
Speaker 1: boot and did not touch his foot. He had no
Speaker 1: physical injury whatsoever. But the story in his brain was,
Speaker 1: you know, and all the other bits that flow on,
Speaker 1: I've just done myself a fucking life changing injury or whatever.
Speaker 1: And also another thing that she spoke about is how
Speaker 1: crazy is that? Right? And another thing she spoke about
Speaker 1: Rachel her name is Rachel's oftness. She spoke about how firstly,
Speaker 1: there was no pain until he looked down. That's a
Speaker 1: bit of a giveaway, right, And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: his mates turn up and they all look like they
Speaker 1: all go white as a ghost. So he's got ten
Speaker 1: blokes around him, all looking fucking horrified. Then that's confirmation,
Speaker 1: right now, I am fucked. And then so there was
Speaker 1: all of these confounding and compounding variables that added up
Speaker 1: to I've got a nail in my foot. I've got
Speaker 1: a seven inch nail through my foot and then obviously
Speaker 1: they cut it off when mate, you don't have any
Speaker 1: injury whatsoever and almost immediate you know, relief. And I'm
Speaker 1: like that what we think and what we believe is
Speaker 1: so fucking profound. We don't even begin I don't think,
Speaker 1: this is my opinion everyone. I don't think we begin
Speaker 1: to understand the potential of our brain, our mind, our thoughts,
Speaker 1: our beliefs, and the subsequent impact on the body behavior,
Speaker 1: you know, for good or bad. It's like, isn't that
Speaker 1: shit fascinating?
Speaker 2: That's absolutely fascinating.
Speaker 3: I just think about the blake when he goes back
Speaker 3: to the work site.
Speaker 2: You definitely just put a bandage on it for a
Speaker 2: couple of.
Speaker 1: Weeks around on hobble around till Christmas.
Speaker 2: Definitely takes some sick leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as your foot mate, Oh, I'm all right, old
Speaker 1: soldier on that's tried. And didn't think of about that?
Speaker 1: The fucking the humility or the embarrassment and the shame
Speaker 1: you spoke about something before I want to ask you
Speaker 1: about and that was sorry, what's your friend's name the
Speaker 1: smarty pants Matte Matt Matt, Yeah, so Matt, like you
Speaker 1: spoke about capacity. So there's another concept in psychle called
Speaker 1: the performance capacity gap. Have we spoken about that?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: So performance capacity gap essentially speaks to what you're currently doing.
Speaker 1: It could be at the gym, it could be in
Speaker 1: your business, or it could be anything, right, relating to
Speaker 1: anything that's perhaps measurable or somewhat performance based, you know,
Speaker 1: is the difference between what you're doing and also what
Speaker 1: you think about what you're doing and capacity what you're
Speaker 1: actually capable of. And with the idea being that a
Speaker 1: lot of people think that they're performance is pretty close
Speaker 1: to their capacity, right, and it ain't. It's like not
Speaker 1: they think my capacity is ten, I'm currently at eight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And then you go, bro, this is good and bad news.
Speaker 1: The good news is you've got way more ability than
Speaker 1: you think, and the bad news is you're currently sitting
Speaker 1: at a three telling yourself an eight story.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's that shows up all the time, right, we don't
Speaker 1: understand us.
Speaker 2: That's so interesting as well, because there is.
Speaker 3: When people are asked that question and they're looking they're
Speaker 3: looking to validate it's I guess it links into the
Speaker 3: idea because we just ran some stuff on imposter syndrome
Speaker 3: and how that turns up for people differently as well.
Speaker 3: And I guess are these two ideas related where you
Speaker 3: just don't think, you can't conceive of yourself being better
Speaker 3: because you're not aware of it.
Speaker 2: You have an experience that you don't know.
Speaker 3: What you don't know, and that is because what's interesting
Speaker 3: is people are saying, I'm actually doing really well against
Speaker 3: my capacity, but the imposter syndrome stuff says that I
Speaker 3: don't think I'm good enough, you know, like whatever I'm
Speaker 3: doing is not enough.
Speaker 2: And so we live in this.
Speaker 3: Really crazy world where we don't think we could do
Speaker 3: better and we're going okay, but.
Speaker 2: Actually there's a lot more we are truly not acting
Speaker 2: up to where we can.
Speaker 3: It's the brain and how it gets influenced by our
Speaker 3: current social environment is absolutely mind boggling. Like there is
Speaker 3: there's really no there's no structures in our world, and
Speaker 3: it's because of this work that I'm doing with schools,
Speaker 3: the work that I'm doing at workplaces. There's very few
Speaker 3: structures anywhere and definitely not implemented in an organized way
Speaker 3: of saying how can I help you develop to be
Speaker 3: the ultimate person that you are? Like, there's really no
Speaker 3: language that we have for that, or no systems that
Speaker 3: we have for that.
Speaker 2: It's truly this is the job of school and you've
Speaker 2: got to get it done.
Speaker 3: We actually don't care if you do better or you're
Speaker 3: somewhere in the middle.
Speaker 2: You just need to get these marks.
Speaker 3: And yeah, we've mentioned some curriculum around general capabilities, and
Speaker 3: we want you to be a good person and identify
Speaker 3: yourself or whatever it might be, but it's never Hey,
Speaker 3: we want you to realize your potential, and we're going
Speaker 3: to put resources around you.
Speaker 2: So that you can discover who you are. We're going
Speaker 2: to get you to.
Speaker 3: Discard things that aren't related to who you are, and
Speaker 3: we're just going to get.
Speaker 2: You to stay on that path.
Speaker 3: Everything is around how can I meet the mark of
Speaker 3: the average? How can I meet the you know, the
Speaker 3: criteria that make me mean that I fulfilled this job
Speaker 3: even though if it's not in my strength whatever.
Speaker 2: It might be there is.
Speaker 3: It's an entirely different world when you're thinking, what would
Speaker 3: I do if I was going to live my best
Speaker 3: life in my best way, in my best strengths you
Speaker 3: would go about life in such a different way. But
Speaker 3: we don't have a language for that, or at least
Speaker 3: we don't have an organized language in our society.
Speaker 2: And I don't know really of any any population around
Speaker 2: the world.
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's pockets that actually have something that relates
Speaker 3: to that. It's really really interesting, and it is constantly
Speaker 3: capping even our awareness of how great we can be.
Speaker 1: So I think that you go, sorry, did? I also
Speaker 1: think with that one of the barriers for some people
Speaker 1: is they're like, Hey, Craig, I want to be a
Speaker 1: fucking high performer. I don't want to be an Olympian.
Speaker 1: I don't want to join the Space program. I don't
Speaker 1: want a PhD. I don't want to be a billionaire.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be an entrepreneur. And I would say,
Speaker 1: good that being a high performer has not necessarily anything
Speaker 1: to do with that shit. Being a high performer or
Speaker 1: exploring your potential. It might be your potential to reduce anxiety.
Speaker 1: You might live in a constant state of you know,
Speaker 1: two to nine anxiety, and what we're trying to do,
Speaker 1: like your goal, your Mount Everest might be I want
Speaker 1: to live a lot of my life somewhere near a
Speaker 1: state of calm, the absence, like when I do goal
Speaker 1: setting with people, which is not, like not formal. I
Speaker 1: used to do a bit of that, like formally, but
Speaker 1: now more what do you want, what don't you want,
Speaker 1: what's working in your life, what's not? What gives you anxiety,
Speaker 1: what makes you happy? Blah blah blah. When we dig
Speaker 1: through all the shit that people say they want and
Speaker 1: then we get down to what's really the driver for
Speaker 1: that goal, Quite often the driver is I just want
Speaker 1: my inner world to be calm. I just don't want
Speaker 1: to be anxious. I don't want to be a chronic overthinker.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be I'm like, they're great goals.
Speaker 1: Fuck making a million dollars, fuck having six percent body fat.
Speaker 1: You know they're not bad. Cool, But show me one
Speaker 1: person who who achieves something in their external world and
Speaker 1: then they're permanently content, like that person doesn't exist, or
Speaker 1: they've got a perpetual state of internal nirvana and calm
Speaker 1: and equanimity, and it's like, oh, no, I'm at six
Speaker 1: percent body fat, I'm the happiest, But no, no, In fact,
Speaker 1: it's often the opposite. So I think This also comes
Speaker 1: down to this is weird, but you'll dig it, I think,
Speaker 1: is the difference between the idea or the perceived situation
Speaker 1: of success versus the experience of success, Like, Oh, look
Speaker 1: at her, she's done this, done, that, lives there, drives
Speaker 1: that has achieved this, which are all good things and
Speaker 1: well done and a big tick for you. Therefore she's successful. Well, yes,
Speaker 1: if we base our criteria for success on acquiring stuff
Speaker 1: and doing stuff and achieving stuff and ticking boxes. In
Speaker 1: other words, all the stuff that's visible to everyone, right,
Speaker 1: all that external look at what I've done and have
Speaker 1: an own and earn and look like and where and whatever,
Speaker 1: versus all the shit that people can't see success. There
Speaker 1: was a stage where I had five different businesses, bricks
Speaker 1: and mortar businesses, and it wasn't good or bad. It
Speaker 1: was just my life. And I had over one hundred
Speaker 1: employees at the same time, and there were all these
Speaker 1: moving parts and from the outside looking in successful all
Speaker 1: businesses make and do all good. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: one caused the other, but the concurrent reality for me
Speaker 1: was overthinking, not sleeping, anxious, worry, like all of this
Speaker 1: stuff that didn't reflect the external, And then you get
Speaker 1: to that point and you go, well, I've done all
Speaker 1: this shit. Why am I miserable? Why am I sad?
Speaker 1: And you go, well, maybe an external or a physical
Speaker 1: thing won't resolve an internal or non physical thing. And
Speaker 1: then it kind of recalibrates you, or at least prompts
Speaker 1: you to think, oh, forget what everyone tells me or
Speaker 1: what the definition of it is on bloody Instagram or wherever.
Speaker 1: What actually is success for me? Is it about stuff
Speaker 1: or is it about non stuff?
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, And this is what I love.
Speaker 2: This is the because I do a lot of a
Speaker 2: lot of courses.
Speaker 3: I create courses for various types of people, and it's
Speaker 3: really interesting talking about the concepts of purpose, natural strengths, happiness, flow,
Speaker 3: love and all of these things that and it's interesting,
Speaker 3: Like the skeptical person says that I don't want to
Speaker 3: be a high performer, you would ask them the same
Speaker 3: question of do you want to have relationships that make
Speaker 3: you feel great where you're not in contest.
Speaker 2: And where it's just flowing and you're supported. Do you
Speaker 2: want to feel like you've got more energy throughout the day.
Speaker 2: Do you want to feel like at the end of.
Speaker 3: The day, you feel really satisfied with the way that
Speaker 3: you showed up. Do you want to feel like you're
Speaker 3: closer to your kids and you're having a really positive
Speaker 3: influence on them, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2: And everyone says yes, yes, yes, yes. Across the board.
Speaker 3: A lot of high performing people don't achieve any of
Speaker 3: those things, but they just have a really great one
Speaker 3: hundred meters sprint for example. The where I was going
Speaker 3: with that, the physiology of love is it's dopamine and serotonin,
Speaker 3: and these are focus and reward, and then some endorphins
Speaker 3: as well, and then also generally a better heart rate variability,
Speaker 3: so calmer, less cortisol, and then oxytocin. And then if
Speaker 3: you look at purpose, it's dopamine and serotonin and some endorphins,
Speaker 3: and then it's lower cortisol and lower stress, better heart
Speaker 3: rate variability, and maybe some more adrenaline because that's keeping
Speaker 3: your focused on purpose, and then you have happiness or flow.
Speaker 2: Let's say we talk about flow.
Speaker 3: Flow is dope mean nora, adrenaline, a bit of serotonin,
Speaker 3: some endorphins, It is a lower cortisol.
Speaker 2: It's exactly the same map.
Speaker 3: But then they measure anandamide as well, which is this
Speaker 3: nice little reward chemical that does good things for your brain.
Speaker 2: And then you go into into your natural strengths.
Speaker 3: And when you're in your natural strengths, you're more motivated,
Speaker 3: so you've got more dope mean and more nor adrenaline.
Speaker 2: You feel more awarded, so you've got more serotonin and more.
Speaker 3: Endorphins, and it's costing you less strained to actually be
Speaker 3: in your natural strengths, and so your cortisol is lower.
Speaker 3: And so all of these different states that we are
Speaker 3: all aiming for actually have precisely the same physiology plus
Speaker 3: or minus a sort of an indicative chemical like oxytocin.
Speaker 2: For love and nor agrenaline for focus, whatever it might be,
Speaker 2: and it it just makes the whole picture, makes so.
Speaker 3: And what it means is if you can be in
Speaker 3: a state that is resonant with you, and that is,
Speaker 3: I feel purposeful, if you feel like you can be
Speaker 3: yourself in relationships, if you feel like you're working in
Speaker 3: your natural strengths and doing things with talent and capacity,
Speaker 3: if you feel like you're naturally enjoying your life. What
Speaker 3: it means is the environment is reflecting back to you
Speaker 3: that this is an environment for your body because once
Speaker 3: you get to that state, if we look at health
Speaker 3: and disease, it's all of the opposite of the things
Speaker 3: that I just mentioned.
Speaker 2: It's untethered stress.
Speaker 3: With a high with a hot with poor high cortisol
Speaker 3: and poor heart rate variability.
Speaker 2: And less serotonin and less endorphins, but maybe lots of
Speaker 2: nora adrenaline and stress chemicals. So it's the idea of
Speaker 2: success and happiness internally physiologically is essentially how can I
Speaker 2: be more of meat? How can I be doing the
Speaker 2: things that really align and make me feel good? And
Speaker 2: there's sometimes a selfish period that you need to take
Speaker 2: to actually renavigate back towards that. Because we often spend
Speaker 2: so much of.
Speaker 3: Our life following somebody else's purpose, putting up with relationships,
Speaker 3: or not truly in connecting with relationships that allow us
Speaker 3: to feel that deeper sense of connection, we are not
Speaker 3: really ever encouraged to find flow. We're just encouraged to
Speaker 3: get it done, rather than what can we do to
Speaker 3: change this environment to help you get these outcomes in
Speaker 3: the best way possible.
Speaker 2: So I just I find.
Speaker 3: That conversation really really interesting because we have a set
Speaker 3: physiology that indicates this is the right environment for you,
Speaker 3: and you're working in your strengths and it's going to
Speaker 3: feel great and less stress and more rewarding, and it's
Speaker 3: doing all the normal stuff and it's completely influenced by
Speaker 3: your mindset.
Speaker 2: The nutrients that you eat, the movement that you do.
Speaker 3: When you do all of that stuff, the work that
Speaker 3: you're doing, and how purpose all that feels.
Speaker 2: It's it and this is what people are chasing. Like
Speaker 2: if you say, hey, do you want.
Speaker 3: To feel happy in all of these things? One hundred
Speaker 3: percent people say, yes, I want to feel that. And
Speaker 3: there's a and you've essentially you've got to get to
Speaker 3: a point where the environment allows you to feel that
Speaker 3: way because your body is continually responding to that environment.
Speaker 1: So interesting and yeah, I mean your body will tell
Speaker 1: you if you're happy or sad, anxious or not. Like
Speaker 1: your body's like, nah, you're anxious. You know why because
Speaker 1: all this shit's happening. Yeah you know that, Like it's.
Speaker 2: So just.
Speaker 1: You might even want to listen to this lady. So
Speaker 1: her name is Rachel's Softness. I don't this is how
Speaker 1: you know that I love you listeners, because I'm actually
Speaker 1: going to point you towards another podcast, which I think
Speaker 1: is fucking brilliant. This episode there's a little bit of
Speaker 1: waffle at the front, like there often is on The
Speaker 1: You Project. But it's on a show called The Armchair
Speaker 1: Expert and it went up April fifteen, and she's just
Speaker 1: written Rachel has written a new book called Tell Me
Speaker 1: Where It Hurts, The New Science of Pain and How
Speaker 1: to Heal. But she goes far and wide. She told
Speaker 1: that nail story. But she also talks about, like, you know,
Speaker 1: when people think about obviously the general public and the
Speaker 1: general messaging from the health and wellness and medical spaces.
Speaker 1: You know, eat better and move your body and sleep
Speaker 1: well and minimize stress, and all of these things are important,
Speaker 1: of course, and they really matter, and they definitely move
Speaker 1: the needle, and now all the other things. Don't drink
Speaker 1: too much booze, maybe, don't ever have a cigarette. You know,
Speaker 1: don't need anything bigger than your head in one sitting.
Speaker 1: You know, all the fundamentals. But she talks about what
Speaker 1: you were talking about in terms of oxytocin and relationships
Speaker 1: and love and like what a massive impact something like
Speaker 1: being lonely, like legit lonely, It fucks up your body.
Speaker 1: You know it is not it is you know, It's
Speaker 1: like I would rather have a six out of ten
Speaker 1: diet and ten out of ten social life or not
Speaker 1: social life but social connections. I'm not really a big
Speaker 1: social life person, but like I'm I'm insecure as fuck.
Speaker 1: I need people to love me. I need to be loved.
Speaker 1: I don't mean worshiped, I don't mean idolized, but I
Speaker 1: you know, and there's a you know when you like
Speaker 1: for me, there's an because I'm the only kid like
Speaker 1: I don't have a wife, I don't have nieces and nephews.
Speaker 1: I don't have obviously brothers and sisters. I don't have kids,
Speaker 1: and part of me is like, oh, not a Mary
Speaker 1: eighty six and the check and flags not too far away,
Speaker 1: you know, let's hope it's fun. But all that shit
Speaker 1: where I go, Oh, and even though I understand this
Speaker 1: stuff relatively well theoretically and academically and from a research perspective,
Speaker 1: then you go, even though I know all this shit,
Speaker 1: I still need a fucking hug. I still need Cam
Speaker 1: to like me, or I want Cam to like me.
Speaker 1: I want to when I see Cam, I want to hug.
Speaker 1: I want to. I don't need twenty hugs a day,
Speaker 1: but like the moments where I've found felt really genuinely
Speaker 1: alone and lonely, that's just doing terrible my body. Anyway,
Speaker 1: maybe some people cope better. I'm like, ah, this is
Speaker 1: this is no good. Yeah, sure I eat well and
Speaker 1: train and so sure I'd tick all the other boxes,
Speaker 1: but it's it's such it has such an impact on us,
Speaker 1: and especially because and I'm generalizing here, so not all men,
Speaker 1: but I think probably more men than women because women
Speaker 1: are women are maybe more socially and emotionally evolved. Who knows,
Speaker 1: there's another podcast. But you know, like my best mate Vinn,
Speaker 1: every time I talk to him, at the end, he goes,
Speaker 1: love you mate, and I go, love you mate, and
Speaker 1: there's no because I love him. I just say, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm reminding you you're loved and he does the same,
Speaker 1: and it's not love ya, it's like love you mate,
Speaker 1: and he's like me too. And whenever I need anything,
Speaker 1: when the shit hits the fan, like I only need
Speaker 1: to go mate, can you help me with this? He
Speaker 1: goes course, And it's just like when I moved Mum
Speaker 1: and Dad recently from their big old unnecessarily huge house
Speaker 1: into an independent living place in a kind of an
Speaker 1: old people's village, which is gorgeous. Like he just showed
Speaker 1: up for three days and work like a fucking weapon.
Speaker 1: Like no, didn't want any gratitude, didn't want any thanks,
Speaker 1: didn't want any acknowledgement, and then did that and then
Speaker 1: went see you, mate. I went to see you. That's it,
Speaker 1: you know for me, because we've all got our love
Speaker 1: language whatever. Like for me, that's like, oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: I would do the same for him, Like there's no
Speaker 1: where you go. Oh you know, this human loves me.
Speaker 1: And that's and I'm waffling a little bit, but it's
Speaker 1: so important that you have that deep human connection because
Speaker 1: without that, I think, where as a very social species,
Speaker 1: we're a bit fuked.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, And this is one of the most interesting things
Speaker 3: about what people need in that connection as well. And
Speaker 3: this is where I get really interested in the differences
Speaker 3: in eurochemistry. And I know that Tiff and Kyle previously
Speaker 3: have picked you as a connector or whatever it might
Speaker 3: be in our model of health types, but that what
Speaker 3: we see with the connective body is that they are
Speaker 3: much more oxytocin dependent and oxytocin is the sense of connection.
Speaker 2: I can look at your face and I can.
Speaker 3: Feel like I belong And without that oxytocin, when it
Speaker 3: gets released, it vasodilates opens up your blood vessels, It
Speaker 3: reduces cortisol.
Speaker 2: It actually creates like a bit of a glow up,
Speaker 2: but also a destress for you. And it's the sense
Speaker 2: of belonging.
Speaker 3: And you know, the quality time or the access service,
Speaker 3: whatever it might be. And then another individual and that
Speaker 3: I guess this is more aligned with my brain. I
Speaker 3: don't need as much of the contact. I just need
Speaker 3: people to go geez. I love the way you think.
Speaker 3: Can I really value your thinking?
Speaker 2: You know? And it's the respect.
Speaker 3: For my thinking that I'm really searching for in people,
Speaker 3: Whereas another person will be completely selfless and they'll just
Speaker 3: be looking after people all of the time by themselves,
Speaker 3: like you know, just really just living for everybody else's goals,
Speaker 3: and what truly lands for them is a low maintenance
Speaker 3: friend doesn't ask anything of them.
Speaker 2: And it's not about I need to love your thinking.
Speaker 3: I can sit here and we support each other, but
Speaker 3: there's nothing that needs to be said in order for
Speaker 3: that to happen.
Speaker 2: I'm going to put some energy back into you because
Speaker 2: the rest of your life you're giving it away to
Speaker 2: everybody else. It's low maintenance friends. And when you talk
Speaker 2: to them and say, hey, you need some low.
Speaker 3: Maintenance people, and you're like, they're oh my god, yes, yes,
Speaker 3: so right, well that's one of my best friends. We
Speaker 3: just sit and we virtually just do whatever we want
Speaker 3: to do. But no, we don't require anything of each other.
Speaker 3: So even that sense of deep connection is so different.
Speaker 3: My dad, he's a connector, so he has the deep
Speaker 3: connection of my mum and the family that live up
Speaker 3: up that way with them, but then he also needs
Speaker 3: all of the.
Speaker 2: Fun of walking around meeting all the people with dogs.
Speaker 2: He's got a bunch of friends called the rock Lobsters that.
Speaker 3: All they hang out on the rock wall because they
Speaker 3: all go swimming in the morning. They're all sixty plus
Speaker 3: to get a ticket to the rock wall. So he's
Speaker 3: got all his rock lobs to friends. And he's like
Speaker 3: sort of the man about town, like's not he's a dentist,
Speaker 3: so he's treating the cafe janitor that he goes to
Speaker 3: because he just can't help himself, like.
Speaker 2: He's just in people's business. So he needs that. But
Speaker 2: my mum just has the connection with dad. That's all
Speaker 2: she needs.
Speaker 3: Like she's a censor, totally totally different neurochemical makeup. She
Speaker 3: just doesn't need other people. And she doesn't go out
Speaker 3: wandering around and she's got maybe one or two friends
Speaker 3: she might have a catch up with and that's her.
Speaker 2: That's her film. So just even.
Speaker 3: This idea of deep connection and what it is, you'll
Speaker 3: just the best way to market is when you think
Speaker 3: about your friend where you just feel like you can
Speaker 3: completely relax. What do they give you? You know, and
Speaker 3: that as a starting point is a really helpful thing
Speaker 3: to say. What is the kind of connection that I'm
Speaker 3: actually looking for is that the people that really love
Speaker 3: the way that I think is the people that are
Speaker 3: just there for me.
Speaker 2: It's the people that I can rely on it of course,
Speaker 2: whatever it might be, but as.
Speaker 3: A starting point, just knowing that one friend that really
Speaker 3: has your back, or those two friends that when you
Speaker 3: hang out with them, it's just a full wave of relief.
Speaker 3: That's the starting point for you know, what truly makes
Speaker 3: you feel connected.
Speaker 2: It's a good place to begin.
Speaker 1: It's such a and I mean this speaks to your
Speaker 1: like your model at pH three sixty and like it's
Speaker 1: all about beginning to understand how you work and being
Speaker 1: okay with that even if you know, sometimes I think
Speaker 1: I'm an alpha male and I always go but I'm
Speaker 1: not and I'm not really. But in certain situations, like
Speaker 1: I said to you, I think earlier and en if
Speaker 1: we're off here on here, but if there's shit happening,
Speaker 1: you want me because I'm very calm in that and
Speaker 1: I'm a good leader when I need to be. But
Speaker 1: I have no compulsion to go and lead, like I
Speaker 1: don't want to sert myself into something. But if things
Speaker 1: are going bad, I'm quite good in that situation. But
Speaker 1: being able to recognize how you are and then do
Speaker 1: something with that without judgment or self loathing, but just
Speaker 1: self awareness and recognition. It's like this is part of
Speaker 1: the you know, how do I optimize me? I need
Speaker 1: to understand me first, you know, I need to be
Speaker 1: like and I was thinking as you were talking this
Speaker 1: how my brain works, because I'm you know, I respond
Speaker 1: to that a couple of things, one ironically and almost
Speaker 1: ad juxtaposition. I don't like being around people all the time,
Speaker 1: by the way, I need lots of time by myself.
Speaker 1: I live by myself, but I don't want to have
Speaker 1: no interaction day to day, Like I need a little
Speaker 1: bit and it needs to be quality, be me giving
Speaker 1: to someone, not me getting. Like most of the time
Speaker 1: it's me giving in that I'm usually sitting with someone
Speaker 1: who's got some challenges. Like probably five coffees I have,
Speaker 1: four out of three or four out of five coffees
Speaker 1: I have is me helping someone and one or two
Speaker 1: is maybe with a friend, right, and it's just an
Speaker 1: hour of bullshit and caffeine. But then the opportunity like
Speaker 1: and I feel this sounds quite magnanimous, but it's kind
Speaker 1: of not. Is like when I know that I can
Speaker 1: talk up a walk up to somebody who maybe I
Speaker 1: think is doing it hard a little bit or just
Speaker 1: and just go go to mate and I go how
Speaker 1: are you? And they like are you good? I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: but how are you? And then they go well actually,
Speaker 1: and I go what's going on? And they'll unpack a bit.
Speaker 1: I go, fuck, that's hard, that's hard, and how are
Speaker 1: you going with all of that? Like how are you sleeping?
Speaker 1: Or you go, man, I get it, that is that
Speaker 1: is tough. So how do you fix that or how
Speaker 1: do you manage? You know, and I just might talk
Speaker 1: to them for five minutes and give them some love
Speaker 1: and some attention and for five minutes they're the focus
Speaker 1: of my world. And not always, but I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: most time I walk away, most times I walk away,
Speaker 1: that's given them a boost. Yeah, that, you know. And
Speaker 1: it's like, could be a guy, could be a girl,
Speaker 1: old young, Try not to be speak inappropriately or out
Speaker 1: of you know. I try to read the room. But
Speaker 1: you know, now you've got Oh, you've got to go,
Speaker 1: it's time, it's two o'clock. Well maybe it's been gorgeous always.
Speaker 1: I love chatting with you. Tell people where to find you,
Speaker 1: follow you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks mate, it's been awesome. The doctor km McDonald
Speaker 2: just searched.
Speaker 3: That with Shay Group, SAHAE Group, and that'll get your
Speaker 3: corporate staff health professional stuff, school stuff.
Speaker 2: We're doing a whole lot of work.
Speaker 3: In precision health and helping people understand themselves and essentially
Speaker 3: trying to build the structures that we're lacking in the
Speaker 3: world right now. So it's all of this work is
Speaker 3: exactly the stuff that we're doing on one level, and
Speaker 3: then there's a whole physical level as well.
Speaker 1: So always appreciate you mate, You're a gift and we'll
Speaker 1: have a quick ten second goodbye off fair but for
Speaker 1: the minute doctor Cam appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Thanks, see you mate,