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Speaker 1: Coming up on Relatables.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if I could tell my younger self anything, it

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Speaker 2: would be if you've dated someone previously, you can't be

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Speaker 2: friends with them.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, you can't.

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Speaker 2: You can't have any sort of platonic relationship with him

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Speaker 2: at all.

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Speaker 1: No, do you know what they look like naked?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: The Relatables podcast that says it by myself, mister Jake

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Speaker 1: Craig aka car Crushing Daddy and my partner in from

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Speaker 1: mister Audie aka Farting Mummy. Didn't like that one rare

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Speaker 1: one before we started record, brought it in with him

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Speaker 1: to be fair to me. I can still taste it.

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Speaker 2: I had protein, that's my love, protein noodles with chicken

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Speaker 2: for lunch.

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Speaker 1: It's going through you quick. Yeah, it's gone through me

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Speaker 1: very very quick.

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Speaker 2: But Baddies Today is a Dilemma's episode with the prompt being.

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Speaker 1: Archives. But I actually would you. I wanted to give

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Speaker 1: it a.

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Speaker 2: Title, okay for mine anyway, I reckon you could probably

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Speaker 2: title yours the same communication, because mine are all about

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Speaker 2: communication or their lack of communication.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, mine, I can argue at least my first one.

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Speaker 1: A couple of them could be do to communication before.

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Speaker 2: We get into dilemmas. We normally start with a dilemma

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Speaker 2: of our own. If we have one, do you have one?

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Speaker 2: Not off the top of my head, You don't have

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Speaker 2: one off the top of your head. Nah, I mean either,

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Speaker 2: life's blissful. Way, I'll tell you what my dilemma is.

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Speaker 2: There's not enough bad. He's on patreons a.

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Speaker 1: Dilemma for both.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a dilemma for both of us. And

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Speaker 2: how could we fix that dilemma?

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Speaker 1: Well, we could tell them to head over to patreon

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Speaker 1: dot com forward such relatable sixty.

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Speaker 2: Nine and sign up for eight dollars ninety nine a

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Speaker 2: month and you get an extra episode every single week

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Speaker 2: the book Club Early and this Dilemma's episode you are

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Speaker 2: listening to right now, extended version, which is probably an

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Speaker 2: extra two to three dilemmas, depending on how we're feeling

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Speaker 2: at the thirty five minute mark.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, should we start adding I mean once again, I

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Speaker 1: think I said this once. The boys are moving up

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Speaker 1: in the world. Should we do Monday ad free?

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Speaker 3: Ooh?

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Speaker 1: We all.

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Speaker 2: Big call common below if you want the Monday main episode,

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Speaker 2: add free on Patreon.

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Speaker 1: Because we begin to that whoa talking about ads? Peeking? Perfect?

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Speaker 1: No no, No, they don't pay us to say anything

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Speaker 1: in this one. Mate. Yeah me to go first. Yeah sure.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I met on Bumble in June last year.

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Speaker 1: Our connection is wholesome and real, and we became official

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Speaker 1: two months in. I'm liking this and we went to

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Speaker 1: New Zealand together on a holiday three months later in

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Speaker 1: November last year. I'm waiting for the butt. I said,

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Speaker 1: it's a good way to challenge a relationship and it did.

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Speaker 1: The trip was amazing. He's amazing to travel with and

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Speaker 1: we spoke a lot about our past travels. He speaks

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Speaker 1: very highly of his trip to Japan at the start

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Speaker 1: of twenty twenty five, a trip to New Zealand with

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Speaker 1: his friends and sister, and he went to Europe and

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Speaker 1: England with his ex to meet her family in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three. When we first got together, I asked him

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Speaker 1: about his past relationship singular. He's on the odd one

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Speaker 1: a four year relationship which by my correct calculations ended

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Speaker 1: around the start of twenty twenty four. Basically, she cheated

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Speaker 1: on him, and he told me he spent at least

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Speaker 1: eight months fully processing, so he's been single and healed

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Speaker 1: for a while, right, wrong. That's what she wrote. Over

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Speaker 1: halfway through our trip in New Zealand, I realized they

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Speaker 1: never actually knew who he went to Japan with. I

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Speaker 1: had just been assuming it was his sister and sorry,

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Speaker 1: it was his sister. That's a terrible assumption. When when

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Speaker 1: I asked, he told me that he actually went with

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Speaker 1: his ex and her family. I acted way too cool

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Speaker 1: and asked him if it was weird with his ex

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Speaker 1: of a year. He said it was actually really good.

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Speaker 1: They'd been friends for a year after their break and

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Speaker 1: family and her family was so nice to him. End

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Speaker 1: of conversation. I spiraled he was super mature and assuring

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Speaker 1: about it. When I brought it up again, he told

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Speaker 1: me he stopped being friends with her in March because

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Speaker 1: he couldn't move on. She was sleeping with other people

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Speaker 1: he wasn't, and she kept telling him they'd work it out,

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Speaker 1: so he still wasn't over it at least three months

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Speaker 1: before we met. Further research showed they still follow each

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Speaker 1: other and she's commented on like all of his posts.

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Speaker 1: He doesn't want to offend her by unfollowing her or

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Speaker 1: find out about her life through his friends and not

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Speaker 1: seeing her story himself and he said he won't ever

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Speaker 1: post me except maybe on his stories, but he's never

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Speaker 1: reposted my stories that I mention him in. Am I

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Speaker 1: being crazy and a shallow girlfriend for it not sitting

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Speaker 1: right with me. I'm mad he wasn't honest about it. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm mad he wasn't honest about his last relationship, which

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Speaker 1: he said he regrets, and he's only committed to me.

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Speaker 1: He said he'll unfollow her if I want, but I

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Speaker 1: want him to want to. I'm mad about how much

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Speaker 1: he used to speak about Japan and casually bring her up.

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing he knows not to now. He always speaks

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Speaker 1: about our travels for the future, and I just feel

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Speaker 1: like a bit of a replacement despite all that, he's

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Speaker 1: a wonderful person.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Baddie, I want you to go on to the

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Speaker 2: video part of this episode and watch me right now.

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Speaker 1: Kick, kick, kick. I want you to fucking get out

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Speaker 1: there as quickly as you can on a horse.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like that was a quick way to

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Speaker 2: get out of there. I didn't land faster than humans. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: exactly so.

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Speaker 1: The reason Land is because I still taste your fucking pooh.

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Speaker 2: It's not it's gone, it's gone ages ago, dude, get

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Speaker 2: over today.

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Speaker 1: The amount you doing, I don't complain, linger is long.

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Speaker 1: Whatever it was our mascot, little sausage. Okay, so m M.

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 2: Although I don't know, it just seems like he's still

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Speaker 2: obsessed with his ex and can't get over her, and

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Speaker 2: he's using you as a way to get over her

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Speaker 2: when he's not really over her. And then he's also

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Speaker 2: lied to you, which I don't like. And then also

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Speaker 2: he said I can unfollow her if you want me to,

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Speaker 2: if you shut up, if you want me to, I

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Speaker 2: think like you.

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Speaker 1: Should just be able to, like, shut the fuck up.

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Speaker 1: I hate that day. If you want.

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Speaker 2: If he can't realize that he should be unfollowing his

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Speaker 2: ex partner when he's in a new relationship, you'd like

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Speaker 2: me in a bit of a deeper mood right now,

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Speaker 2: then he shouldn't be in a relationship. He doesn't deserve

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Speaker 2: to be in a relationship with you. And although it's

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Speaker 2: a sad truth, you're gonna have to be like, dude,

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Speaker 2: I deserve better.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting out of here, kick kick kick. I also

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Speaker 1: think you should break up with him. How can that's rude?

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Speaker 1: At the bare minimum? That what he's doing. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so if I started seeing it, So the unfortunate thing

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Speaker 1: is that you're a few months in and made it official.

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Speaker 1: Three months they must be going a bit past that.

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Speaker 1: That's not that deep. So it's February now November last

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Speaker 1: year's when they went to New Zealand. Yeah, oh, it's

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Speaker 1: not too.

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Speaker 2: Long, I would say, though, So it takes a little

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Speaker 2: bit of time to figure out if you'd like someone,

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Speaker 2: and it takes between three to six months to figure

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Speaker 2: out if you fully love them, I would say, yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then that three to six month period is, for example,

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Speaker 2: you realize that this dude is not over his X.

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Speaker 1: You're like, wow, the truth come out. See, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: am trying to think here. So like in this situation,

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Speaker 1: I think all the way up until him saying he

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Speaker 1: will not unfollow his ex and he'll only do it

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Speaker 1: if she wants him to, and that he's not going

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Speaker 1: to post her. Up until that point, I think I

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Speaker 1: would have found it somewhat forgivable, Like I would have

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Speaker 1: thought it was suss But like, actually, when am.

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Speaker 2: I talking, i'd be pretty god talking about if I

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Speaker 2: was saying a new girl and our first holiday together,

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Speaker 2: we go to New Zealand and the whole time I'm talking.

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Speaker 1: About, Oh yeah, this this trip to Japan I went

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Speaker 1: to was honestly the best, and I'm like, oh, that's

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Speaker 1: I'm happy for that's so good. Yeah, yeah, it was good.

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Speaker 1: We did this, this, this is.

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Speaker 2: And then like a couple of weeks later I found

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Speaker 2: out that it was with your ex girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: I would be like, we left that part out. Motherfucker,

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Speaker 1: what am I talking about?

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Speaker 3: Dude?

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Speaker 1: Who are you? This far has changed to you? I'm

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Speaker 1: so focused on the par but no, so I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, because literally, you need to

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Speaker 1: break up this guy. There's no there's actually no other

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Speaker 1: thing that you can do because he is not over

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Speaker 1: his ex.

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Speaker 2: I feel like what you might have in trying to

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Speaker 2: say was it was sus up until he said I

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Speaker 2: can unfollow her if you want, and that was crossing

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Speaker 2: the line.

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Speaker 1: While I was just trying to be like devil's advocate,

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Speaker 1: maybe try and put myself in her shoes a bit,

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Speaker 1: I was trying to think like, if Beth had done

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Speaker 1: this type of thing, but if Beth and I were

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Speaker 1: a couple of months in and you know, we just

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Speaker 1: met it official And then I found about and found

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Speaker 1: out about the Japan thing, I would have been like

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Speaker 1: what yeah, and then I probably would have broken up

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Speaker 1: with her, well for one my sake and then for

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Speaker 1: two her sake, Like you need to break up with

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Speaker 1: this guy to protect your piece right first and foremost,

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Speaker 1: you also need to break up with this guy because

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Speaker 1: this motherfucker is not over his ex. Like simple as that, dude.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, fuck him off? Girl, you know what to do? Ah,

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Speaker 1: all right now? Dilemma.

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Speaker 2: If you want to get a dilemma read by us,

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Speaker 2: it will be linked into the description and they are

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Speaker 2: completely anonymous.

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Speaker 1: Dilemma.

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Speaker 2: Three months into a new relationship. Everything is great, but

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Speaker 2: one thing. My boyfriend has the roughest beard, and it

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Speaker 2: leaves my chin itchy and inflamed. After we make out,

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Speaker 2: sometimes small little cuts are left. I spent about four

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Speaker 2: hundred bucks a month getting facials. I spoke to the

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Speaker 2: woman who does my facials and she told me to

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Speaker 2: buy him beer oil, which I did. I told him

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Speaker 2: I was going to when I gave it to him,

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Speaker 2: he clearly wasn't happy and tried to leave it at

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Speaker 2: my place.

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Speaker 1: Right after I gave it to him. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to force him to use it, but my skin is suffering. Advice.

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Speaker 1: My advice is sorry, you just don't like a bearded man,

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Speaker 1: break up with him. Unfortunately, I cannot relate. If Beth

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Speaker 1: told me that this hurt her, like she said that

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Speaker 1: it does. It does like scratch a bit, But she

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Speaker 1: said if if she said it hurt her, I'd shave it. Mmm. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: is this just two different preferences.

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Speaker 2: Have you vocalized have you communicated with him that you

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Speaker 2: getting an itchy chin and that it hurts after or.

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Speaker 1: Or yeah, fuck it? Was he? What's on his beard

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Speaker 1: like fucking sandpaper? I'm just gonna say, is this guy

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Speaker 1: fucking wolverine of like metal stuff coming out?

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Speaker 2: Or have you just given him this beard oil? Because

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Speaker 2: giving him a little bit of the benefit of the doubt.

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Speaker 2: If you've just given him some bead oil and be

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Speaker 2: like he's a present and he left it there, becaus

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Speaker 2: like I don't need that.

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Speaker 1: Surely he notices a bit of blood.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say Tip one is communication, especially because

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Speaker 2: the relationship is so new, and just be like, dude,

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Speaker 2: look I love kissing you, but it hurts sometimes that

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Speaker 2: beard that's stubble. You even need to choose one way

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Speaker 2: or the other really long or really short.

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Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. Yeah, I agree, Like it's gonna

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Speaker 1: fucking turn into just major resentment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna have weed kissing him at all costs

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Speaker 2: because it doesn't it doesn't sound like she said anything yet.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, kissing is like an intimate thing. Yeah, and it's

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Speaker 1: like a pretty intimate part of a relationship. Yeah, it's tricky.

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Speaker 2: I've had moments too when I have a little bit

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Speaker 2: of stubble, like it gets sand papery for Cassie, and

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Speaker 2: she said something about it. What I can grow stubble

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Speaker 2: on my on my goatee, Come on, man. But as

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Speaker 2: the man, sometimes I'm unaware.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I'm not aware. Yeah, you're unaware because it just happens. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's part of life. So I think communication

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Speaker 2: is the only answer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I give best, Like rash on her chest. Why

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Speaker 1: are you on a chest? Like down like neck? Yeah, man,

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Speaker 1: but if you're in that like you know, heavy breathing missionary.

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Speaker 2: Like kissing on the lips and rash on her chest,

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Speaker 2: like what you doing.

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Speaker 1: I'm a pretty guy, I'll fucking start nuzzling up in there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, Well, what don't people like like candles, hot

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Speaker 2: candles being melted on him for like pain and stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, actually I think that's the thing. Yeah, that's like king.

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Speaker 2: Maybe this is just two different things because she he

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Speaker 2: needs to find a girl who likes a bit of

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Speaker 2: like bloodh who likes pain.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, I reckon, just talk to him and if he

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Speaker 2: if he doesn't like show any sort of sympathy towards

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Speaker 2: the situation, then yeah, oh yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Would break up with him if if you said something

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Speaker 1: and he goes, well, I'm not shaving it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it sounds like the bead oil was just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: here's some beer. It's like if Cassie brought me some

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Speaker 2: shampoo and I was like, oh thanks because I had

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Speaker 2: dander if I didn't know, but yeah, so yeah, I

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Speaker 2: would say.

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Speaker 1: Talk to him, and then if he's not willing to

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Speaker 1: shave his beard, then I don't think that he's willing

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Speaker 1: to compromise for much things. I reckon, you should break

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Speaker 1: up if he doesn't compromise on that. A guy I'm

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Speaker 1: seeing has self proclaimed porn induced erectile dysfunction, and I'm

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Speaker 1: concerned how much porn is he consuming to impede his

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Speaker 1: ability to be with a partner. What type of porn.

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Speaker 1: I have no problem with porn watching, but when it's

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Speaker 1: so excessive, that is a problem. Sorry that it's a

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Speaker 1: problem in the bedroom. I have concerns, but I don't

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Speaker 1: want to come off rude or overstep since it's a

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Speaker 1: new relationship. He said it has nothing to do with

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Speaker 1: me and that he's very attracted to me. But it's

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Speaker 1: still an issue.

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Speaker 2: Help kick girl, kick kick, I mean, get out of

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Speaker 2: there again.

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Speaker 1: There's literally no such thing as porn induced erectal dysfunction.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to know what that is? It's literally

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Speaker 1: just a porn addiction. He's just waging. He just has

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Speaker 1: a porn addiction, and he's calling it something different or I've.

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Speaker 2: Heard so what comes with porn addictions too, is I

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Speaker 2: think this guy's just wanking too much.

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Speaker 1: But also you get an unreal expectation of what sex

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Speaker 1: is like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so like normal sex, bit of missionary cowgirl, maybe

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Speaker 2: doggie if you're feeling.

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Speaker 1: It, like just the normal stuff. And he could be

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Speaker 1: watching like some fucking double nded fucking yeah.

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Speaker 2: Block fucking everywhere, and then he's gonna do some normal

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Speaker 2: shit shit yeah, and then he's always DOPA means.

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Speaker 1: In like this fucking shit that I shouldn't be doing.

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Speaker 2: And then he gets the missionary and he's just like, oh,

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Speaker 2: well this is just boring into it.

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, I mean, look, so obviously you can't go

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Speaker 1: any further than you have gone with this guy. You

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Speaker 1: need to leave him.

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Speaker 2: I really feel for this baddie, and she's a good

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Speaker 2: person in a sense of you, ah.

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Speaker 1: Very understanding. Yeah, and I need to I need to Rea,

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Speaker 1: what's the world. I need to affirm reaffirm that porn

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Speaker 1: induced erectial dysfunction is. Look, maybe it is a thing,

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Speaker 1: but I'm telling you right now it comes from a

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Speaker 1: porn addiction.

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Speaker 2: It's also like he knows what the problem is, and

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Speaker 2: it sounds like he knows he's going to be having

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Speaker 2: sex with this woman.

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Speaker 1: And then he gets there and he's like, oh fuck,

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Speaker 1: I watched seven videos this morning, damn it. Yeah, leave him.

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Speaker 2: I have troubles showing sympathy towards like that.

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Speaker 1: I guess same.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I know it's still a big problem,

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Speaker 2: but also like I don't know, I feel like, especially

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Speaker 2: because this is such.

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Speaker 1: A new relationship, I wouldn't want to deal with that shit. Yeah, true, true, true. Also,

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Speaker 1: I mean maybe having an opinion about it is hard

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Speaker 1: when you haven't experienced it as well, So it's like

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Speaker 1: to us, it's like to us, it's the easiest thing

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Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, that's fun. I have no sympathy

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Speaker 1: for someone with a porn addiction, not giving anyone the

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Speaker 1: benefit of doubt, by the way, because I don't have

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Speaker 1: sympathy for it, but the way he phrased that has

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Speaker 1: made me hate it even more. Same yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's like self induced. He's manipulating. Yeah, yeah, he's manipulating.

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Speaker 1: He's like, this isn't my fault, it's the pawn's fault. Yea, yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeh yeah. He's like, I didn't give myself a rectoris function,

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Speaker 1: the porn gave me a rectoris function. Like what the fuck, dude, bro?

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Speaker 2: I just couldn't imagine though, Like a beautiful girl's naked

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Speaker 2: in front of you, and then you consciously make the

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Speaker 2: decision you want to watch pawn more than you want to.

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Speaker 1: Have sex with that woman. M hmm. That's where the

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Speaker 1: sympathy doesn't lie with me. Also, how come this guy

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Speaker 1: got into a relationship if he knows he has a

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Speaker 1: e rectordis function induced from his own doings. Like if

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Speaker 1: someone just has erector's function, I know that's a thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they get like medical health for it. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: think you can get medical health for this because this

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Speaker 1: guy can only get a fucking boner. Well, someone's legs

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Speaker 1: wrapped around their fucking head. They getting bad.

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Speaker 2: You need to trune it the same way as an addiction,

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Speaker 2: I guess like cut it out, recap, go to aa PP.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what's I don't know? AA is alcoholics anonymous? So oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what BP is.

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Speaker 2: Porn people, Yeah, poor pa porn anonymous, No PAA poorn

355
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Speaker 2: addiction anonymous, Yeah, yeah, alcoholics anonymous. Hey, guys, I love

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Speaker 2: the pod By the way, So, currently, I'm about two

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Speaker 2: years into my first relationship. I'm nineteen. He is such

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Speaker 2: a great guy and treats me like a queen. The

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Speaker 2: only issue is I think the physical attraction is fading.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to rip his shirt off, and my

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Speaker 2: sex drive is becoming lower and lower. I find that

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Speaker 2: I only have the attraction when I'm ovulating. I know

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Speaker 2: he loves me, and I really do love him, but

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Speaker 2: I'm struggling.

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Speaker 1: To process these changes.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know what to do. It doesn't help

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Speaker 2: that my whole family loves him and thinks we are

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Speaker 2: getting married, which makes it so much harder. I'm scared

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Speaker 2: that if I let him go, I regret it, and

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine letting him go because he's such a

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Speaker 2: good guy. But deep down I know that I don't

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Speaker 2: want to marry him, and keeping him is hurting us both.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what I should do, and I don't

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Speaker 2: know if I should just wait and see if the

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Speaker 2: attraction grows, or should I end it now?

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Speaker 1: There was a part there was so and she had

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Speaker 1: me in the first half same she had me in

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Speaker 1: the first time, and then in the second half she

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Speaker 1: answered her own question.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say, in a long term relationship,

381
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Speaker 2: you it's very normal to have highs and lows and flow.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was gonna saying. I was gonna be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, me and Beth don't rially tell his shirts

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Speaker 1: off at first sight anymore type of thing. There's times

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Speaker 1: in the month where we do, and then the time

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Speaker 1: we don't.

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Speaker 2: And I was gonna say, she's young, and this is

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Speaker 2: the first time you've experienced that.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes I'm pretty sure I'll touch beirth and she

390
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Speaker 1: thinks you Okay, I'm pretty sure that's normal. I can't

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Speaker 1: speak for her to be honest with you. But then

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Speaker 1: when you said you don't see yourself marrying this guy,

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Speaker 1: then you answer your own question like you don't need our.

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Speaker 2: Help, especially because you're staying in it because your family

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Speaker 2: loves him.

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00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It's a bit of a lesson here in a sense

398
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Speaker 2: of do what is right for you girl? Yeah, yeah,

399
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Speaker 2: break up with him if you don't see self marying him?

400
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Speaker 1: Are you doing with him? Yeah? And I think, like,

401
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 1: and you don't have to, And it's that doesn't have

402
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 1: to be because you're not attracted to him. Yeah you

403
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like it it's not as shallow

404
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,360
Speaker 1: as that, Like you don't see yourself marrying this guy,

405
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Speaker 1: And you didn't say it's because of the attraction thing.

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Speaker 1: You just said you don't see yourself marrying him for

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Speaker 1: obviously a bunch of reasons. Yeah, so you're allowed to

408
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 1: fucking leave him, Like what the hell?

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Speaker 2: I feel like you can end a relationship just because

410
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Speaker 2: you don't want to be with him anymore.

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Speaker 1: That's the only reason you need. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like people tell themselves that they need to

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Speaker 2: have something happen to the relationship, then they'd be cheated on,

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Speaker 2: or they need to think he's piteous or something really

415
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,240
Speaker 2: really bad has happened. But it can be as simple as, look,

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Speaker 2: I don't see a future with you. Well, look I

417
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Speaker 2: don't want to do this.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be with you anymore. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: they say why, I just don't. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: feel like you don't actually have to have a bunch

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Speaker 1: of a reason. You didn't do anything. I didn't do it, Like,

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Speaker 1: I just literally don't see myself marrying you. It's not

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Speaker 1: waste any of it your time.

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Speaker 2: But I think it's respecting yourself and in the end,

425
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Speaker 2: respecting your partner because you owe it to them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you love them at one point, and now you

427
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 1: don't just admit it. Yeah, and if if they get

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Speaker 1: upset for you being honest, it's like, that's your fucking problem.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And deep down they're gonna be like, I'm glad

430
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Speaker 2: some and so told me that they don't love me anymore,

431
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Speaker 2: because I would have been in it blissfully thinking this

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Speaker 2: is fine.

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Speaker 1: A year later, he's going to be over it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then it's the resentment starts to happen exactly. Yeah,

435
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Speaker 1: I was actually like I wanted to say, it's like

436
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: this day and age with situationships and talking phases and

437
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:46,400
Speaker 1: stuff like, I feel as though people just from dilemmas

438
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 1: we get and then maybe friends we've spoken to, they

439
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: won't put a label on something because then they think, oh,

440
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: I'm locked in for life or something. You know, I

441
00:21:58,080 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: can't break up with them just because I don't want

442
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: to fucking be with them anymore, which is the opposite,

443
00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 1: Like you may as well. I don't understand why don't

444
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: you just say the person that you've been in a

445
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: situationship with for a full year and you go on

446
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: dates with, Like, why don't you just say that you know,

447
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: that's my boyfriend, I'm your girlfriend, or that's my girlfriend,

448
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: I'm your boyfriend, like we are boyfriend and girlfriend, and

449
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 1: then you're allowed to break up with whoever you want,

450
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,879
Speaker 1: whenever you want. Yeah. I just don't understand this whole

451
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: like limbo time period of a situationship.

452
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 2: I feel like as a society, we've put like so

453
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 2: much value on girlfriend and boyfriend, which yes, is extremely

454
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 2: valuable but also.

455
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 1: Like you have complete free will still.

456
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, like people think that now we're boyfriend and girlfriend,

457
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 2: like I owe you something.

458
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: I know, like tomorrow, if Cassie wants to break up

459
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: with you, what are you gonna say? No, Yeah, you're

460
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,400
Speaker 1: going to be obviously devastated because you maybe you didn't

461
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 1: see it coming, and then you're like that sucks. But

462
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: like if Cassie was to say to you, or if

463
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: Bets was to say to me, I don't want to

464
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: be with you anymore because I don't see a long

465
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: term future with you, what am I going to say? Yeah, like, no, no, no, no,

466
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,400
Speaker 1: You're the worst human in the world. I'm going to say,

467
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 1: I'm always gonna be devastated, and any normal humans going

468
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 1: to be like I Actually, you know, I appreciate you

469
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 1: saying that.

470
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: I would prefer to be in a six month or

471
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 2: nine month relationship boyfriend and girlfriend and then be in

472
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 2: this limbo zone where I don't know if this person

473
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 2: likes me or not. Yeah, at least they have the

474
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 2: intention of trying to have a future together with that.

475
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 2: I feel like, if you don't have put a title

476
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 2: on it, there's no intentions.

477
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also I just think like in this sort

478
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 1: of situation too, It's like, if you break up with someone,

479
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: don't do the whole thing of like we can still

480
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 1: be friends or maybe sometime in the patre like it

481
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: doesn't work. I think that's when you need to chill.

482
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: And then also it's like if you break up with

483
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: them and then you regret breaking up with them, leave

484
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: them alone. Yeah.

485
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 2: If I could tell my younger self anything, it would

486
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 2: be if you've dated someone previously, you can't be friends

487
00:23:58,880 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 2: with them.

488
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:00,360
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you can't.

489
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,159
Speaker 2: You can't have any sort of platonic relationship with him

490
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 2: at all.

491
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: No. Do you know what they look like naked? Yeah?

492
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: You know what it looks like when you're inside. Yeah,

493
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,880
Speaker 1: there's you know what it sounds like when they it's

494
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: too techy? Yeah.

495
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 2: And that's always even if you think you're over it,

496
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 2: you're subconscious or somewhere in the back of your brain

497
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,919
Speaker 2: each other's brain. It's just that little little bit of

498
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 2: something that no one else has experienced but you two together.

499
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: Yeah inside jokes, Yeah, that type of side. So I

500
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,399
Speaker 1: hope that helped. I think what we say, break up

501
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: with him, even if you're cold, dude, like this, breakups

502
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 1: to the hard one.

503
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 2: Your next dilemma, break up with him.

504
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: Let's see. Actually I don't even remember this.

505
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 2: One, interjecting, as you know, and if you don't go

506
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 2: back and listen. We just recently ran a campaign the

507
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 2: Badest Bad Yes, and the two winners have won an

508
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 2: ad read we're going to read for the next month.

509
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: They get four ad reads, so here they are. Okay,

510
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 1: we talk about relationships, dilemmas, and hot fantasy novels, but

511
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: something we need to talk more about is mental health.

512
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Speaker 1: Bad As Baddie Sarah is doing just that. She's written

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Speaker 1: a book called My Mental Health Toolkit, a recovery guide,

514
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Speaker 1: can get tough and some easy strategies to help you

516
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Speaker 1: through even better.

517
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Speaker 2: It's more of a journal than a book because you

518
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Speaker 2: get to write through it and customize it to match you.

519
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Speaker 1: So where can you get this? My Mental Health Toolkit

520
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538
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Speaker 2: These batties doing cool stuff. Support them if you want

539
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Speaker 2: to and stay bad. Okay, hey Kings, I need your help.

540
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 2: I trust you guys with the best advice, so let's

541
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 2: see what you have for me. Sorry, it's quite long.

542
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 1: I'm twenty two and I've known my boyfriend for seven

543
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: years since we were fifteen, so we've grown up together

544
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: and he's all of ever known relationship wise he knows

545
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: me better than anyone else and is my comfort person

546
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 1: and best friend, which makes the idea of leaving really scary. Oh,

547
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: you could be right you're thinking of Believe our relationship

548
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: hasn't been perfect. Earlier on in the relationship he cheated

549
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: on me, but this was over three years ago now.

550
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: Since then, we've done a lot of work to rebuild trust,

551
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: and I genuinely feel like our relationship is stable now.

552
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: The main issue I'm struggling with is our sex life.

553
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: Over the past three years, it's become much less frequent.

554
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: I've tried to communicate how important intimacy is in to

555
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: me and how the lack of it has affected myself

556
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: of steam and sense of connection, But despite many conversations,

557
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: nothing has really changed. Because everything else feels good, I

558
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,199
Speaker 1: feel stuck. I've also recently met someone through work who

559
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 1: I get along with. Well, nothing has happened, and it's

560
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 1: purely a friendship, but having engaging, flirty conversations has sparked

561
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: a new feelings and made me reflect on my relationship,

562
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 1: which I feel guilty about. I'm scared I'm being unrealistic.

563
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: I literally just want book love. Is that too much

564
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 1: to ask for? And I don't know whether this is

565
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,959
Speaker 1: a no more phase of a long term relationship or

566
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,400
Speaker 1: a sign that we are incompatible. I'm scared to leave

567
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: because this relationship is all I know, but I'm also

568
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: scared of staying and ignoring a need that feels really

569
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: important to me. So my question is is this something

570
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 1: that I can be worked through or is my gut

571
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 1: telling me this isn't the right person anymore. PS loved

572
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: the pod as a new Patreon certified baddie. It is

573
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 1: really worth it. Let's go okay.

574
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 2: Her last question at the end was can this be

575
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 2: worked through or is it something that she should listen to.

576
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: I think both answers are right. She just has to

577
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 2: decide this is a very workable through. She's asking, yeah,

578
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: you know, but I think she wanted to sorry, in

579
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: which she thinks maybe one of those is the right answer.

580
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: But they could both be right.

581
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like, if you're not having sex enough and

582
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,719
Speaker 2: he's perfect otherwise, this is a very workable situation. But

583
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 2: also if you do want more, this is your body

584
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: telling you that, and you could just listen to that

585
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 2: and leave. I could see you going down both pathways,

586
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't judge at all.

587
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to think about We've actually recently, I

588
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: would say, had a fair few of the of baddie

589
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: sending in that their boyfriend's libido is down porn. Look,

590
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the most common thing is going to

591
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 1: be porn or diet and like Las style that's another. Yeah.

592
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: So but here's a thing of where I'm going. It's

593
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: similar to most situations, like I think that Let's let

594
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: me think quickly, Like let's say you asked him to

595
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 1: Let's just say like he did something that was bothering you,

596
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 1: and maybe it was he was lacking communication on nights out. Yeah,

597
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: you communicated that with him. He didn't change, even though

598
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:46,719
Speaker 1: he knows that you would like a little bit more

599
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: communication on nights out. You would probably think, like, how

600
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 1: is he not compromising on this? And we would say

601
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: you should break up with him for that because you've

602
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: tried that. You've tried. Yeah, it's time for him to

603
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 1: do his part and he's not doing it. When it

604
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 1: it comes to the sex and the attraction and stuff,

605
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: people feel so shallow they do. But it's the same

606
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: thing you said, you want more sex. You're lot self

607
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: esteemers low and stuff like it's affecting that. And you

608
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: said something and nothing has happened. So again, I would say,

609
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: you can say something again and if something changes, then good.

610
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: But what was the quote from fucking Monday from the

611
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 1: Baddie the advice if you don't make a change, you

612
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: make a choice or something. Yeah, those lines. If you're

613
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: not making the changes, then you're making the choice. After that,

614
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 1: you're making me lean towards break. Yeah, go with your gut. Yeah.

615
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: And I do think it is your body is saying

616
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: you deserve more.

617
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 2: And she did list off a couple of reasons, which

618
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 2: are not good reasons this day, like that's all you've

619
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 2: ever known. It's scary and unknown out there. It's just

620
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 2: scary and unknown out there.

621
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

622
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: And I think this is a big problem for a

623
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: lot of people who have been in a relationship since

624
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 2: high school or whatever and it's the only.

625
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: Person they've ever known. But if.

626
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 2: Whenever your body is telling you something that is leading

627
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 2: towards you deserve better more, you want something different, I

628
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 2: would say, listen to it.

629
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

630
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 2: And but you say, this guy's a good guy, I

631
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: give him another shot or two. Communicate it once or

632
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 2: twice more really sit him down, drill it into his head.

633
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: Men are fucking thick. He might not get it straight away,

634
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 2: which is a little bit of a problem. But he's

635
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 2: a good guy, you say, so give him the benefit

636
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 2: of the doubt.

637
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. Yeah, I reckon in my opinion,

638
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,719
Speaker 1: I would say one more chance, like telling him one

639
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: more time.

640
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's a boundary you can set with yourself,

641
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 2: because exactly, yeah, you set your own three strikes.

642
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: In your out or two strikes, and I run sentirely

643
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 1: up to you. I guess, yeah, and then just make

644
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: the decision. And I mean, I don't know, Like, what's

645
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 1: the right thing to do in this situation? Communicate with

646
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: him that I would like more sex. I've said this

647
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 1: once before and nothing happened. I'm saying it again. Do

648
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: you also, like, what's the right thing to do in

649
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: a relationship? Is it? Like, do you say he's a

650
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 1: solution I think could work? Do you also try and

651
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: fix the situation?

652
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 2: Could you could just put it onto him and be like,

653
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 2: why do you think we're not having enough sex?

654
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, Like you know I'm tired after work.

655
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, life's busy, you know, Like I've just got.

656
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: Bills to pay, I've got poke's this lab. Boys want me, Jake,

657
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: Come on, Like, what do you expect me to do?

658
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 1: Battle work? I'm not fucking Johnny Sins over here. Made

659
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: just an average bloke. What's he eating? Yeah?

660
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you could check that avenue too, See if

661
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: it's a health concern. He's got low libido, low testoster own?

662
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 2: Is he working out? Working out makes men horny? Is

663
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 2: the boosh your tests? Hit legs tests?

664
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: What's the there's like the you could just buy straight

665
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: from coals. It's like goats. Something to increase his testosterone.

666
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: You can get sparking. Uh no, spiking. It's like you

667
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 1: can just get it. You can get like chocolate that

668
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: spikes libido and stuff. Just fucking get the Yeah.

669
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: If I reckon, sit him down once or twice more,

670
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 2: talk through it, see what he says, see how he reacts,

671
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 2: and that will be your answer. Okay, sorry if this

672
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 2: is worthy or repetitive. Basically, my long term boyfriend and

673
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: I broke up a month ago. It was a mutual

674
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 2: decision and I believe it was the right one and

675
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 2: I am so grateful for our relationship and don't regret anything. Nonetheless,

676
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: I feel like he set the bar so high. I'm

677
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 2: scared that the majority of men don't respect women and

678
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 2: other humans and their rights in general. Not only that,

679
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: but I know my standards are really high in general,

680
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 2: which is good in theory, and.

681
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 1: I wonder if anyone will ever live up to them.

682
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 2: I'm only in high school, so I know this probably

683
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: sounds stupid, but I'm generally scared that I will never

684
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 2: find someone that checks all my boxes.

685
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: That I need to be checked.

686
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 2: At the same time, I want to mess around with

687
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 2: guys for fun, but I can only validate that to

688
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 2: myself if they're good, trustworthy people, which I fear is rare, especially.

689
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: At our age. Anyways, Love you guys, keep doing your shit.

690
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 1: It's a dilemma.

691
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: She's scared that men can't live up to this good

692
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 2: man that she's had because they're also shit and she

693
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 2: wants to fall around. But also she doesn't want to

694
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 2: fall around with dudes who don't deserve it because they're

695
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 2: shit men.

696
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what the dilemma is. She

697
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: kind of just like told us her thoughts, which is fair.

698
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 1: It's an understandable fear.

699
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 2: The dilemma is ninety nine percent of the then a shit. Yeah, yeah,

700
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 2: how can I have sex with someone.

701
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: If they're all shit? A three months rule?

702
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 2: True, but you don't want to hear that either, you know,

703
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 2: I don't want to be like I'll give them three

704
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 2: months and like you can iron out the good ones.

705
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: Maybe, m Yeah, I don't know. I just I just

706
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 1: like your dilemma is you you were more just like

707
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: stating a fat of like so, so the thing about

708
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: having sex with people, right, but you don't want to

709
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: have sex with people that you don't trust. That's that's

710
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: that's a good thing, but it's a you thing, right,

711
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: So it's like that just means that you need to

712
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: figure out a way to you know, figure out if

713
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 1: you can trust people. So you just have to do

714
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: like it's it's kind of up to you. Like, I mean,

715
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 1: we can make suggestions like how can she like maybe

716
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: on a night out, like, how can she figure out

717
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: if she trusts someone a chance to sleep with that night? No,

718
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: I don't have any advice. Yeah, that's a lucky dep

719
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 1: It's hard, isn't it. Maybe we don't have advice.

720
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 2: For the overall dilemma, but I will say, as you

721
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 2: are a young baddie that at the start you said,

722
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 2: you know, you have very high standards, which is in

723
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 2: general really good. Don't ever lower those standards anyone.

724
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: Keep them up there.

725
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 2: Even if your sex life is boring, you're not having sex,

726
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 2: but your standards really high.

727
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: That is good. I think. Yeah, later on in life

728
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,839
Speaker 1: you'll you'll appreciate that maybe you've had less sex than

729
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: other people, but you've kept your standards up. Yeah, exactly.

730
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 1: And if you I mean, if you want a longer

731
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: and lower and don't listen to us, it's your life too.

732
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:10,839
Speaker 1: Whatever you want to do.

733
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,879
Speaker 2: You will have moments in your life where you feel

734
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: like just having sex and not even thinking about it.

735
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 1: Is it the same thing for a woman where it's

736
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: like before you make a decision to go sleep with someone, masturbate.

737
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 1: I feel like there's this thing with men where men

738
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 1: are like, before you go, you know, sleep with someone,

739
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: masturbate and see and see how you feel.

740
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 2: I feel like that's is that a thing men say? Yeah,

741
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, we've said before. I reckon it could be. Well,

742
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,879
Speaker 2: it's basically taking the horniness out of the equation. Yeah, well,

743
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 2: you're not thinking more horny because when your horny, like

744
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 2: you're not thinking when you're downstairs, you then thinking, you're

745
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 2: thinking with your brain after.

746
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're young. I would say there.

747
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: Wasn't much advice to give other than just it's a

748
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:59,399
Speaker 2: lucky dip. Know you're self worth and that's it.

749
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, what's a good question you could ask someone

750
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: to see if you trust them straight away? How tall

751
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 1: are you? The only thing with that is you have

752
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 1: to carry around a measuring tape. Oh no, measure yourself,

753
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 1: know your height to the inch, to the centimeter or whatever.

754
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 1: So you just need to know your height and then

755
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: whatever height they say, So just a quick little reference

756
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: in your head to watch each one is. Yeah.

757
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 2: And I would also say, if you're a new baddy

758
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 2: around here, frontal lobe development with men is a real thing.

759
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: Probably got a more technical term, but I would say,

760
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 2: especially with you being nineteen, it would increase the percentages.

761
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: Of terrible men. Yeah.

762
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I would say most men who

763
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 2: do come good, some are always good. Good is a

764
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 2: very objective thing, but they become they figure out life

765
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 2: a little bit slower than women.

766
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, matter pretty weird man, Yeah, especially like you

767
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: go to the gym.

768
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 2: Well, I get to the gym and see nineteen year

769
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: old dudes fucking chatted and doing what they're doing. It's

770
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:06,680
Speaker 2: just kind of it's just revolting.

771
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 1: I used to be one.

772
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: I just like, I don't know what they're wearing, what

773
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 2: they're chanting, like the shit they're doing.

774
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: They're not respectful. I don't know what's going on in life.

775
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 2: And then they think they're like a fucking a million

776
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 2: bucks and then literally they're not. I was probably had

777
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: a similar mindset when I was nineteen. Yeah, and then

778
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,760
Speaker 2: really small and they think they're fucking massive.

779
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

780
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:28,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love seeing like a young guy wearing a

781
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: singlet like a tight, you know, tank to the gym.

782
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna say I'm I love the confidence. A

783
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,600
Speaker 1: big fan of the confidence. But I don't know, I

784
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: think it's just is something that you should live to

785
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: the big boys, not even me. I've done it before.

786
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 1: I don't think I could wear a tank to the

787
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 1: gym anymore. Yeah, yeah, I wear like a muscle tea.

788
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: Yeah gym. Yeah, Oh, it's a funny one. It is

789
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 1: a funny one. I mean, look, good luck. I suppose

790
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: that's all we can say. Yeah, So Thank you for listening.

791
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: If you want some, If you want a couple more dilemmas,

792
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 1: head over to Patreon at relatables dot com, Ford Slash

793
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: No Wrong, patreon dot com, fort Slash Relatable sixty nine.

794
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: Sign up and you'll get two more dilemmas eight nine

795
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:13,479
Speaker 1: to nine a month. Stay bad,