WEBVTT - THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY...

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<v Speaker 1>I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

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<v Speaker 2>She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of

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<v Speaker 2>my kissing style.

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<v Speaker 1>With a boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's

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<v Speaker 1>in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching her mu.

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<v Speaker 2>I love being love. I love love.

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<v Speaker 1>On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are

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<v Speaker 1>reminiscing over the One that Got Away.

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<v Speaker 2>And why sometimes the ending of a situationship can hurt

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<v Speaker 2>more than a long term relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Stay tuned to find out why your more heartbroken over

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<v Speaker 1>a three month fling than a five year relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't worry, you are not alone.

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<v Speaker 1>Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all

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<v Speaker 1>things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

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<v Speaker 2>This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,

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<v Speaker 2>intimate details, advice, and much more. Hey Matt, Hello Anna?

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<v Speaker 1>How are you back for a proper episode? Not an interview?

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<v Speaker 2>I know, I feel like we haven't done one of

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<v Speaker 2>these in so long. We've got a good topic to

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<v Speaker 2>go off.

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<v Speaker 1>I am. I had a friend recently who was talking

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<v Speaker 1>to me about her one that got away, and I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like everyone has one, even if we don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to admit it. We all have one. And anyway, she

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<v Speaker 1>was like talking me through like how she was feeling

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<v Speaker 1>and all of that, and I had like a similar situation,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was kind of like comparing notes with her,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, this is such a good topic

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<v Speaker 1>to talk about because I feel like it's something that

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<v Speaker 1>at one point or another we've all like googled. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I have like get over the one that got away.

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<v Speaker 1>How's your morning. You've rolled in and you've looked a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit rattled.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so it's very hot at the moment. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>bit of a heat wave in mail Is and I

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<v Speaker 2>our air con in our room is not working. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>not it's working, but we had while we were away,

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<v Speaker 2>we had a mold check, like the bathroom renovated and

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<v Speaker 2>all this sort of stuff. So they're checking our air con.

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<v Speaker 2>So they've said don't use it until it's fully like

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<v Speaker 2>it's fully cleared. So I'm sitting there sweating. Last night

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<v Speaker 2>and when I was actually asleep, I was had a

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<v Speaker 2>dream that I was being chased by the police.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know what that means. If anyone knows

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<v Speaker 2>what that.

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<v Speaker 1>Means, you looked at us.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I haven't, and I don't want to because I

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<v Speaker 2>think it might be something bad. Yeah, something bad, I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like it would be. But I felt like I

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<v Speaker 2>was off season two of prison.

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<v Speaker 1>Break, like I was escaping the prison.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I was getting chased by the police. So if

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a bit tire shapes because I've been running all night.

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<v Speaker 1>He's been getting running through the streets trying to evade police.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember a bit of a dream. A bit of

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<v Speaker 2>it was I climbed over a backyard fence and then

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<v Speaker 2>I landed on a tree and hurt myself and I

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<v Speaker 2>was a limping through.

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<v Speaker 1>God, it was terrific.

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<v Speaker 2>It was pretty intense.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder you look a bit rad oled. That's like,

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<v Speaker 1>what if I'd done wrong? For me? They're rocking up

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<v Speaker 1>to the studio.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually have done nothing wrong. I'm not stressing about that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm still who knows? Really these days? What about you?

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<v Speaker 2>How are you feeling?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm feeling good. I've been going to my natural path

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<v Speaker 1>a lot. I've been kind of like working on my health,

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm feeling a lot better. My gut health is

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<v Speaker 1>finally feeling like it's in a good place, which is

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<v Speaker 1>a big deal for me because you know me, like

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<v Speaker 1>I've been on antibiotics pretty much every two weeks. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>for the past like six months. Like it's been crazy

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<v Speaker 1>in between, like UTIs, I had parrot influenza a while back.

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<v Speaker 1>I just somehow just keep catching sickness and like also

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, going into winter, it's a very scary

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<v Speaker 1>time for me. So I'm like, I need is stay

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<v Speaker 1>at home. I don't want to get sick. So obviously

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<v Speaker 1>before winter has hit us, it's kind of been my

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<v Speaker 1>goal to get my gut health in check. I've been

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<v Speaker 1>on the probiotics, three biotics parrots.

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<v Speaker 2>Are they good for you?

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<v Speaker 1>It's fiber, which my so my natural path said, like

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<v Speaker 1>have fiber before you actually have dinner because then it

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like into the system. Yeah. What about meta

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<v Speaker 1>musal metaw mucal is really good? Actually they have actually

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<v Speaker 1>recommended that to me. And what's it called. What's the

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<v Speaker 1>actual thing called. It's like celium husk, no helium husk.

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<v Speaker 1>I think give me if I'm wrong, Guys, if you're

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<v Speaker 1>sitting at home being like what is she talking about?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty sure metaw mucil has celium husk in it.

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<v Speaker 1>And so basically it kind of like builds like a

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<v Speaker 1>barrier around your gut. I'm all over gut health, right

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<v Speaker 1>you are, You've got it.

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<v Speaker 2>I just take these vitamins that say they protect your organs,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm good. You like, yeah, that's all I do.

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<v Speaker 2>I heard as well cheer seeds are good for you.

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<v Speaker 2>They are they almost clean the lining of your guts. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I've been having smoothies every morning, which has actually

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<v Speaker 1>really helped because I was doing like fasting up until

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<v Speaker 1>about midday. But I would have like three or four

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<v Speaker 1>coffees because we're in the studio seper early. And yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I think since having like my morning smoothie, so I

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<v Speaker 1>have like this gut health powder that is packed with everything.

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<v Speaker 1>I have cheese, you seeds, I have protein or berries

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<v Speaker 1>you put in there, blueberries, blueberries, blueberries, gal.

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<v Speaker 2>My smoothie is mixed berries, FROZENX berries, frozen bananas, oats, protein.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember time freak yogurt. Oh in Greek yoga. I love Greek.

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<v Speaker 1>That's very good for the guy as well. I have

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<v Speaker 1>Greek yogurt with some honey at night.

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<v Speaker 2>I know that this is in a this isn't a

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<v Speaker 2>hotline and we're not doing recommendations, but you guys, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to give you have a recommendation here. I recommend

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<v Speaker 2>we do it all the time at home. Greek yogurt

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<v Speaker 2>and we dip mission chips that are flavored in there

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<v Speaker 2>Mission chip. You know, just the corn chips.

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<v Speaker 1>The corn chips with Greek yogurt is amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't know if that's a thing that well, trust me, guys,

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<v Speaker 2>try it and let me know how you go. It's

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<v Speaker 2>instead of sour cream, So it's a healthy alternative to

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<v Speaker 2>see our cream because I used to.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I can get around that.

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<v Speaker 2>I would used to abuse our cream like i'd finish

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<v Speaker 2>a tub on my stuff. Yeah, I can eat see

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<v Speaker 2>our cream out the tub.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Well, I make burrito balls and I instead of

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<v Speaker 1>using sour cream, I will do like a Greek yoga.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's the Yeah, that's just changing it over. And

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<v Speaker 2>trust me, it's so good with the chips.

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<v Speaker 1>I can get around that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, let me know how you go. That's my recommendation.

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<v Speaker 2>You guys have a bonus one this week.

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<v Speaker 1>Look at you, guys, Lucky that fucking loves the recommendation.

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<v Speaker 2>For driving into the studio. I'm always like funk, what's

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<v Speaker 2>my recommendation this week? Dressing? Like what have I done?

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<v Speaker 2>And then but when I get here, I get them,

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<v Speaker 2>don't I?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you do? You have some good recommendations.

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<v Speaker 2>We like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well we're talking about the one that got away today?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have a one that got away? Would you say?

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<v Speaker 2>So? We were talking about this when we spoke about

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<v Speaker 2>the topic, and I I was under the impression that

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<v Speaker 2>once upon a time I did have got away?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and who was that?

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<v Speaker 2>It was my ex for my ex like a while ago,

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<v Speaker 2>from my first X. Yeah, but I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>like you, over time, you realize that like if you

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<v Speaker 2>had stayed with them, like opportunities, situations, you wouldn't have

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<v Speaker 2>been able and I wouldn't be the person I am today. Absolutely,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know who I would be right now.

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<v Speaker 1>We wouldn't be with Jen to start with.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to be with Jen. Yeah. I was thinking

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<v Speaker 2>more like life, like me as an actual person, like

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<v Speaker 2>who I am, my personality, and that I think I

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<v Speaker 2>to like leave them. I've matured and grown up and like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, seen more of the world, done more things

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<v Speaker 2>that I know who I am, And yeah, I wouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>have met Jen I wouldn't have met amazing people along

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<v Speaker 2>the way as well. Yeah, yeah, what about you? Do

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<v Speaker 2>you have someone that got away? I mean at the time,

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<v Speaker 2>don't get me wrong, Like I sat there and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, damn, Like, how am I ever going to

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<v Speaker 2>come back from this? I've spoken this before on the podcast,

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<v Speaker 2>So I was like, that was my one, she was

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<v Speaker 2>made the game, That's my soulmate. But you realize that

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<v Speaker 2>there's other people out there.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I think I've had like two that got away.

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<v Speaker 1>Being greedy, can you have two?

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<v Speaker 2>The expression no longer is the one that got away,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's got that got away, the couple that got away?

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<v Speaker 1>No, Like, Okay, So I've spoken and obviously we've spoken

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<v Speaker 1>about all of our relationships on this podcast, but my

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<v Speaker 1>first relationship, the DJ, the one that we were very

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<v Speaker 1>on and off, cheated on you seven times, cheated on

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<v Speaker 1>me seven times. I cheated on me six times in

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<v Speaker 1>seven days.

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<v Speaker 2>He missed the day there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah I missed a day him. Yeah. I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>for so long he was my one that got away

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<v Speaker 1>because he cheated on me. I felt forced to break

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<v Speaker 1>up with him, but I really didn't want to break

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<v Speaker 1>up with him, and so it was this thing in

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<v Speaker 1>my head being like and he would always message me

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<v Speaker 1>being like, I'm still in love with you, give me

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<v Speaker 1>another chat, I don't know all the love of my life,

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<v Speaker 1>And like, obviously I was feeling all of those things

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<v Speaker 1>at the time, and I was like, why is life

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<v Speaker 1>so hard? Why do I have to be a strong woman?

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<v Speaker 1>And so why am I so stubborn?

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<v Speaker 2>A well, you know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And then like I obviously after him got into

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<v Speaker 1>a very serious six year relationship, we were living together,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think, if I'm being really ho with myself,

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<v Speaker 1>I've probably never admitted this out loud before, but we

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<v Speaker 1>we are on the podcast. I think throughout that relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>even though I was extremely happy, extremely content in my relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>there was a part of me I think that was

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like what if. And I really did feel

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<v Speaker 1>that whole, all encompassing feeling of he was the one

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<v Speaker 1>that got away whilst in that relationship, even although I

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<v Speaker 1>was happy, it was just like a niggling thought in

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<v Speaker 1>the background. And occasionally he would snapchat me and your

0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:36.280
<v Speaker 1>partner whilst I was in a relationship and would send

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<v Speaker 1>me like essays being like, yeah, the big egg would

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like send me messages saying how much he

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<v Speaker 1>loved me, how he still loves me five years later,

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<v Speaker 1>how he regrets what he did. And after I broke

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<v Speaker 1>up with my partner of six years, on a drunken

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<v Speaker 1>night out, I did bump into him. We didn't have sex,

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<v Speaker 1>but we did go home together and we like kissed,

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<v Speaker 1>and it kind of like it was such a weird feeling,

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<v Speaker 1>right because for so long I'd put him on this pedestal,

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<v Speaker 1>being like, yeah, he is the one that got away

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<v Speaker 1>from me. And then when I went back to his

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<v Speaker 1>house that night, when I was single, and like i'd

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<v Speaker 1>only been single for like three months, but I was single,

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<v Speaker 1>went back to his house, and all of the sparks

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<v Speaker 1>kind of came back naturally. Naturally. I guess, if like

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<v Speaker 1>you really have put someone on a pedestal for that long,

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<v Speaker 1>it's because there is like.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, while you're with someone as well.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't think that's rare, no, I think a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people probably feel this way. But after that night,

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<v Speaker 1>like I didn't feel the need to have sex with him,

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<v Speaker 1>And after that night, it was almost like closure, Like

0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.280
<v Speaker 1>the pedestal that he had been on for so long

0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:02.560
<v Speaker 1>was finally pulled. Down, and I genuinely remember, and this

0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.000
<v Speaker 1>is so like funny because I remember it like it

0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:07.760
<v Speaker 1>was yesterday. I remember walking out of his apartment being like,

0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.400
<v Speaker 1>if I never see him again, I'll be okay with it.

0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:16.640
<v Speaker 1>Did you No, I've never seen him since, and it

0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:21.280
<v Speaker 1>was no, no. And I think maybe it was closure

0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:24.200
<v Speaker 1>for both of us, because like you know, when someone

0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.880
<v Speaker 1>cheats on you and there's all this like emotion and

0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:31.800
<v Speaker 1>like you both kind of feel like what could have been?

0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.800
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, he was like my one that got away

0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:39.560
<v Speaker 1>for so long. And then after putting him on this

0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:44.320
<v Speaker 1>huge pedestal for so long, after seeing him and actually

0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:45.800
<v Speaker 1>like spending a night with him.

0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:48.120
<v Speaker 2>That's sometimes all you need, though, to realize that it's

0:11:48.160 --> 0:11:50.000
<v Speaker 2>just not what you think it is, and it's.

0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:51.000
<v Speaker 1>Like it was a fantasy.

0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:55.400
<v Speaker 2>It's like, yeah, your brain almost like telling you that, like, well,

0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.720
<v Speaker 2>you automatically remember all the good bits, so you're probably

0:11:57.720 --> 0:11:58.560
<v Speaker 2>remembering all the good.

0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Bits with him, and that's that that's the whole thing

0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:03.440
<v Speaker 1>as well, right, Like I don't know if you feel

0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:05.600
<v Speaker 1>this way with your ex that was the one that

0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:07.679
<v Speaker 1>got away for you, You forget all of the bad

0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:10.400
<v Speaker 1>stuff and you're like, but they were amazing and they

0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:13.000
<v Speaker 1>did this and oh remember that time when they did

0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:14.920
<v Speaker 1>this surprise for me, and you know, all of those

0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:18.200
<v Speaker 1>like all of the bad shit in the bin, you

0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:20.040
<v Speaker 1>don't think of it, or one the fact.

0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.480
<v Speaker 2>That you guys were completely incompatible. You were just like

0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:23.520
<v Speaker 2>two friends, Like.

0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:25.920
<v Speaker 1>This guy cheated on me six times in seven days,

0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:28.160
<v Speaker 1>and I thought he was the one that got away

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:31.480
<v Speaker 1>for seven years? Like what was I thinking? Like that's crazy?

0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:32.800
<v Speaker 2>So who was the other guy?

0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Then?

0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:36.719
<v Speaker 2>So you said two, Matt doesn't forget, Yeah, who was

0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:37.320
<v Speaker 2>the other guy?

0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 1>So the other guy was this guy that I was

0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:45.840
<v Speaker 1>seeing for like two months and then.

0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:48.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh so you hadn't even.

0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 1>So it was like a situation ship. Yes, we weren't

0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 1>like I mean, we both said that we weren't really

0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 1>seeing anyone else, but it wasn't like officially, well you know,

0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.160
<v Speaker 1>it's up for debate unless someone tells me like I'm

0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.600
<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent you know, yeah, yeah, But anyway, we

0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.480
<v Speaker 1>were seeing each other for a couple of months. Something

0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:10.520
<v Speaker 1>happened where there was like conflict and it just never

0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:13.480
<v Speaker 1>got resolved, like our communication just wasn't good enough to

0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:17.400
<v Speaker 1>resolve it. And then it just ended very abruptly. And

0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.440
<v Speaker 1>it kind of just like knocked me for six. It's

0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.880
<v Speaker 1>kind of like when you're like in a situationship and

0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.480
<v Speaker 1>you're in the process of like really falling in love

0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.559
<v Speaker 1>with someone, yeah, and just before you hit that mark

0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:29.280
<v Speaker 1>for two.

0:13:29.080 --> 0:13:32.080
<v Speaker 2>Months, it's probably the right amount of time, yeah feeling.

0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:37.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So for me, because of the circumstances around it,

0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:40.880
<v Speaker 1>I really felt like he was the one that got

0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:42.880
<v Speaker 1>away until I met Michael.

0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay for that long then yeah really yeah, I mean

0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.720
<v Speaker 2>when you're saying that, I sort of have a feeling

0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.400
<v Speaker 2>about like some girls that like I spoke to for

0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:54.200
<v Speaker 2>a bit and then it just never eventuated into anything.

0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.080
<v Speaker 2>And I used to joke with my mates being like

0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.920
<v Speaker 2>that's the one that got away, but like like I

0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:01.040
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't think, like I don't actually think that, do you

0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:02.320
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean? But like there's a bit of

0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:05.200
<v Speaker 2>me that's like, what what if like we kept talking

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.920
<v Speaker 2>or I had like going exclusive, you know what I mean?

0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:11.920
<v Speaker 2>Like I think that, but like, noah, nothing serious. But

0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:14.480
<v Speaker 2>do you think that anyone thinks that you're the one

0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:19.640
<v Speaker 2>that got away? Except for that DJ dude, Well, I.

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:21.440
<v Speaker 1>Don't think he thinks that. Now. I think that was

0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.280
<v Speaker 1>like our closure, and I think like the whole like

0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:27.440
<v Speaker 1>the one that got away phenomenon I feel like can

0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:30.760
<v Speaker 1>be like nipped in the butt when you get closure.

0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:33.400
<v Speaker 1>I feel like the lack of closure or feeling like

0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:36.520
<v Speaker 1>you don't have closure can sometimes make you feel that way.

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:40.520
<v Speaker 1>But then I always say, if someone goes to that's

0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:43.240
<v Speaker 1>closure in itself, or like the fact that you guys

0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.320
<v Speaker 1>aren't together should be closure enough.

0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes it isn't you need more.

0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you tell yourself it is that you should tell

0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:53.360
<v Speaker 1>yourself that it is closure.

0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:55.840
<v Speaker 2>I reckon that I am. Some girls think I'm the

0:14:55.880 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 2>one that got away? Do you Yeah, I've got one

0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.040
<v Speaker 2>in mind, particularly tell me more?

0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you reckon?

0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:06.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I jumped into her and she said

0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.760
<v Speaker 2>you were actually such a nice guy, all this sort

0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:09.280
<v Speaker 2>of stuff.

0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:13.440
<v Speaker 1>Was she drunk? Yeah, well, I mean the truth comes out.

0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:15.880
<v Speaker 2>And I was just like, oh yeah, yeah, like not

0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.600
<v Speaker 2>giving her much obviously because I've obviously moved on. And

0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.960
<v Speaker 2>she was like, oh, I think she said what could

0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:22.520
<v Speaker 2>have been? And I was like, well, it hasn't been

0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:23.600
<v Speaker 2>and it won't be or something.

0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Did you feel the same way with her? No?

0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:28.200
<v Speaker 2>God know, when that ended, I was so happy you

0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:31.560
<v Speaker 2>were relieved. I was relieved. I was like, thank god,

0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:33.360
<v Speaker 2>is there anyone.

0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 1>Else who you reckon you're the one that got away for?

0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I reckon there's a couple of girls. But

0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:42.280
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if if you feel like I'm the

0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:46.280
<v Speaker 2>one that got away from you, let us know.

0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:48.840
<v Speaker 1>No one's letting us know that, mad.

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Let us know. We're curious.

0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:54.760
<v Speaker 1>I reckon I'm the one that got away for the

0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:57.280
<v Speaker 1>guy who I was seeing before. Michael. Remember in our

0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:00.520
<v Speaker 1>first episode of this podcast, I told this story about

0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:02.000
<v Speaker 1>how I went to the airport.

0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, god, yeah, Okay, yeah, I think yeah, because

0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:07.920
<v Speaker 2>you can tell by the way they view your stories.

0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:09.600
<v Speaker 2>You can just tell when you see their name and

0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.280
<v Speaker 2>your people have view your stories.

0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.880
<v Speaker 1>One, there's there's so many ways to know if you're

0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.400
<v Speaker 1>the one that got away with someone. I mean, yeah,

0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.440
<v Speaker 1>they still follow you on social media. For one, they

0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.240
<v Speaker 1>keep following you after the breaker. They're not like I mean,

0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.840
<v Speaker 1>I follow a lot of x's to be honest, like

0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.640
<v Speaker 1>just out of like I do. It's just it's like

0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:31.880
<v Speaker 1>a nonchalant follow like it has no emotion behind it,

0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:34.480
<v Speaker 1>and I'm just like respectfully following them because at one

0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 1>point we dated.

0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:38.960
<v Speaker 2>I find it petty almost to unfollow them. Yeah, I

0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:43.240
<v Speaker 2>find that as like they probably think, oh, like I've won,

0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:46.200
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean, They're unfollowing me for this reason,

0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:49.360
<v Speaker 2>where like I've muted a bunch of people that oh yeah,

0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.600
<v Speaker 2>I muted so many people because like people are for

0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:55.640
<v Speaker 2>that reason. I don't want to see them on YouTube.

0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:57.200
<v Speaker 2>But I don't want unfollow them because I don't want them.

0:16:57.280 --> 0:16:58.080
<v Speaker 1>You don't want to be rude.

0:16:58.160 --> 0:16:59.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't want to be rude. And I'm like

0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:04.119
<v Speaker 2>they might get that satisfaction of that unfollowed him, because

0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:06.920
<v Speaker 2>I know if someone unfollows me that I've dated or something,

0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.440
<v Speaker 2>you're like, ah, you care.

0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.600
<v Speaker 1>One in two ways, maybe they just don't care.

0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:18.120
<v Speaker 2>Let's just that's like.

0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:23.879
<v Speaker 1>Your face just like completely like drained them, and you

0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:27.400
<v Speaker 1>were like, what they don't care this concept.

0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:29.240
<v Speaker 2>You talk Now, I know they care. I could feel

0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:30.159
<v Speaker 2>their energy. I know.

0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:33.639
<v Speaker 1>What's other reasons that you know that you're like the

0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:36.800
<v Speaker 1>one that got away with someone. I guess if their

0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.720
<v Speaker 1>friends ask about you, that's a pretty obvious one.

0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:43.560
<v Speaker 2>Pretty obvious one. Yeah, they don't get into another serious

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 2>or long term relationship for a while.

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 1>It's an hour to last exits been in a relationship.

0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.560
<v Speaker 2>Since we're the one that got.

0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.439
<v Speaker 1>Away from there, I highly doubt it.

0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure my accidents hasn't even from what I've heard,

0:17:57.160 --> 0:17:58.840
<v Speaker 2>hasn't really seen or anything with anyone.

0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:00.439
<v Speaker 1>She did remember the lawyer.

0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh you're talking about that one. Who are you talking

0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:07.119
<v Speaker 2>about before? But yeah, both of them. I'm just everyone.

0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:08.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm only got away from everyone.

0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:13.000
<v Speaker 1>This is not supposed to be an ego. Let's just

0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:15.000
<v Speaker 1>rein it in. I don't know how people.

0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:16.240
<v Speaker 2>If I don't know on the other side of the

0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:17.960
<v Speaker 2>but I'm just freeding the facts here.

0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:20.560
<v Speaker 1>You get drunk text from them is a key sign

0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 1>that you're the one that got away. I don't get

0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 1>drunk texts.

0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:25.440
<v Speaker 2>I don't so maybe, but I.

0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Think we're both in pretty serious. I mean, I'm engaged,

0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:30.840
<v Speaker 1>so if I was getting drunk texts from someone, I'd

0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:35.320
<v Speaker 1>be worried for them. They're probably like holding in. I mean,

0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:38.399
<v Speaker 1>to be fair, when I had those feelings of the

0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:41.320
<v Speaker 1>one that got away, I never sent a drunk text.

0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to put that out. Yeah, I think that

0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.320
<v Speaker 1>like drunk texting was like eighteen year old to twenty

0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:49.719
<v Speaker 1>year old Anna, twenty one year old Anna was like,

0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:51.920
<v Speaker 1>we are no longer sending drunk texts.

0:18:52.520 --> 0:18:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Last year, I don't remember lastime I sent a drunk

0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:58.000
<v Speaker 2>text like I'm too busy, like talking.

0:18:57.760 --> 0:18:59.400
<v Speaker 1>Shit too on this podcast.

0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:02.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah no, when I'm dreaming mynd Yeah to send a

0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:06.600
<v Speaker 2>drunk text, like you know what I mean. Yeah, they

0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:09.000
<v Speaker 2>text you happy birthday or congratulate you on like a

0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:09.840
<v Speaker 2>life achievement.

0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:14.560
<v Speaker 1>See again, Yes, you could be the one that got

0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:18.640
<v Speaker 1>away for them. But like I would respectfully send someone

0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:21.320
<v Speaker 1>a happy birthday? Would I who was the last ex

0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I send a happy birthday to if.

0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:24.280
<v Speaker 2>They were in a relationship.

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.400
<v Speaker 1>There's a couple of people who I would now classify

0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.200
<v Speaker 1>as like friends who I would send a happy birthday to.

0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:34.760
<v Speaker 1>There's others who I mean, it's really hard. I wouldn't

0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 1>know anyone's birthdays. I'm going to put that out.

0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:37.520
<v Speaker 2>That's true as well.

0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:40.040
<v Speaker 1>It's probably like one or two ex'es that I would remember.

0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:42.680
<v Speaker 2>I actually always have trouble remembering the exact date.

0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:46.600
<v Speaker 1>When's my birthday?

0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:53.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the twenty third, Try again, twenty cloth twenty, it's

0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:56.600
<v Speaker 2>the twenties. Yeah, it's before.

0:19:56.560 --> 0:19:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Out my Instagram handle the twenty first.

0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:01.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I thought it was I was going to say

0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:03.720
<v Speaker 2>the twenty first because it's before an exact day. I

0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:07.359
<v Speaker 2>remember it's before an'zact day, so I know around about

0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:09.560
<v Speaker 2>I know around about time.

0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:12.240
<v Speaker 1>It's easy because it's everywhere, like I use twenty one

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:12.840
<v Speaker 1>for everything.

0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's true. I just remember it's the roundabout time,

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:16.680
<v Speaker 2>the actual day.

0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:16.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:17.720
<v Speaker 2>So yeah.

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Another one is they keep in communication with your family

0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.840
<v Speaker 1>and friends. That's a big one, sliding their way into

0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:28.240
<v Speaker 1>your life without like actually being in your life. Do

0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:30.520
<v Speaker 1>you have any exes who still talk to your family

0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:34.280
<v Speaker 1>or friends? Really, maybe you're the one that got away

0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:35.360
<v Speaker 1>from it.

0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:38.200
<v Speaker 2>They flirt with you now and then as well.

0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean, I don't know how many exes you're seeing,

0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:43.640
<v Speaker 1>but I mean I'm not seeing any of my exes.

0:20:43.800 --> 0:20:47.200
<v Speaker 1>I personally wouldn't want to see my exes. I would

0:20:47.280 --> 0:20:48.520
<v Speaker 1>just prefer not to, but.

0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:50.920
<v Speaker 2>You can occasionally bump into them out Melbourne's a very

0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:51.520
<v Speaker 2>small town.

0:20:51.840 --> 0:20:54.439
<v Speaker 1>If I know that one of my exes goes to

0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:57.160
<v Speaker 1>a certain place, I will go out of my way

0:20:57.240 --> 0:20:59.719
<v Speaker 1>to not go there. I will avoid it like the plague,

0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:02.440
<v Speaker 1>because seeing an X for me is just like I

0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:05.879
<v Speaker 1>just couldn't think of anything worse. Also, they didn't untag

0:21:06.080 --> 0:21:09.639
<v Speaker 1>or delete photos of you together. Again, I still have

0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:11.840
<v Speaker 1>photos of all of my exes. If you go down

0:21:11.880 --> 0:21:14.320
<v Speaker 1>my gram, it's still your life at the end of

0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:14.680
<v Speaker 1>the day.

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.520
<v Speaker 2>You have you archived a grid post of your X Yeah?

0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, I've archived like a few, but I'm not like

0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:23.480
<v Speaker 1>totally deleted because i feel like it's part of my

0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:27.160
<v Speaker 1>story almost like just because you're not with someone doesn't

0:21:27.200 --> 0:21:28.080
<v Speaker 1>mean that you weren't.

0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I archived the ones that I'm like, but then the cool.

0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:33.960
<v Speaker 1>The PDA ones, Yeah, yeah, I archive.

0:21:33.720 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Those ones, but then the ones that I'm like, car,

0:21:35.119 --> 0:21:37.920
<v Speaker 2>these are cool, like like I've left like launch picks up?

0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:39.320
<v Speaker 1>Have you?

0:21:39.680 --> 0:21:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Well I changed the description.

0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:43.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh did you.

0:21:43.640 --> 0:21:45.400
<v Speaker 2>Haven't you seen that? So you say your love heart

0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:46.720
<v Speaker 2>and the artsis tombstone.

0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:53.880
<v Speaker 1>Fuck you are savage, And that's actually so funny, man,

0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I actually think that we should all do that.

0:21:56.880 --> 0:21:58.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Literally, the launch.

0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:02.600
<v Speaker 1>It's like knife forever in a day. Forever isn't long enough,

0:22:03.200 --> 0:22:05.159
<v Speaker 1>my one and only, And that's like put like a

0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:09.200
<v Speaker 1>tombstone rip rip to our relationship.

0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:12.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm funny like that. Well, I had something else? What

0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:14.360
<v Speaker 2>was the other one I had? Years ago? I did

0:22:14.359 --> 0:22:16.560
<v Speaker 2>another one and I did something funny, but I can't remember.

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:19.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh I had I left this up because I looked good.

0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:25.679
<v Speaker 1>I mean, only you would actually do that. So it

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:30.960
<v Speaker 1>doesn't surprise me that that to And the last one

0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:34.400
<v Speaker 1>is that they find reasons to bump into you. Luckily

0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:36.159
<v Speaker 1>I haven't had this happen.

0:22:37.280 --> 0:22:40.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, same, Really, I don't think there's any reason to

0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:41.600
<v Speaker 2>bump into me.

0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:45.760
<v Speaker 1>With's the one that got Away. Let's talk more after

0:22:45.800 --> 0:22:51.760
<v Speaker 1>the break, Okay, So do you know what's actually funny

0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:53.800
<v Speaker 1>is you know that song, the one that Got Away

0:22:53.840 --> 0:22:54.679
<v Speaker 1>by Katie Perry.

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm not familiar.

0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:00.720
<v Speaker 1>With it, you know, like the one My God, I

0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:02.239
<v Speaker 1>don't want to see in the microphone, I don't want

0:23:02.280 --> 0:23:04.760
<v Speaker 1>to like burn everyone's ear canals.

0:23:04.760 --> 0:23:07.800
<v Speaker 2>It's actually funny that because I actually searched the one

0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:10.600
<v Speaker 2>that Got Away in podcast listen on the way in

0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:13.240
<v Speaker 2>and it was and this is just funny how the

0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:16.080
<v Speaker 2>world works. It was about people escaping from prison. Yeah,

0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:18.160
<v Speaker 2>I saw that and I was like, my dream last

0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:22.399
<v Speaker 2>night this. Oh yeah, I was like, what's going you

0:23:22.400 --> 0:23:22.960
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean?

0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's weird, it's weird.

0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:26.199
<v Speaker 2>And then I did read this script before I went

0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:26.560
<v Speaker 2>to bed.

0:23:27.960 --> 0:23:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Interesting, you know, something actually really freaky happened to me

0:23:33.560 --> 0:23:36.280
<v Speaker 1>the other day. I was at my parents' house and

0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:43.080
<v Speaker 1>I made a coffee and like, you know, coffee banging

0:23:43.119 --> 0:23:46.520
<v Speaker 1>for his coffee, and like it was a concrete bench

0:23:47.200 --> 0:23:50.119
<v Speaker 1>and a cup and I was like in the house

0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:54.080
<v Speaker 1>alone and the cup knocked over, Like how can that happen?

0:23:54.400 --> 0:23:56.360
<v Speaker 2>Are we going into ghost stories because I can tell

0:23:56.359 --> 0:23:57.399
<v Speaker 2>you some serious ones.

0:23:58.160 --> 0:24:00.840
<v Speaker 1>No, we'll do another episode on stories, but I just

0:24:00.920 --> 0:24:03.600
<v Speaker 1>had to tell you haunted. I think my parents' house

0:24:03.640 --> 0:24:06.880
<v Speaker 1>is haunted. After that, the ghost of like my grandparents

0:24:06.880 --> 0:24:11.920
<v Speaker 1>could be alive, and well, I looked at I looked

0:24:11.920 --> 0:24:13.919
<v Speaker 1>it up what it meant, and it said that a

0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:16.800
<v Speaker 1>coffee cup knocking over by itself means it's something really

0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:20.760
<v Speaker 1>good is coming. So I was like, oh, okay, thanks grandparents.

0:24:21.760 --> 0:24:23.480
<v Speaker 1>That's just knocked out for his coffee.

0:24:23.480 --> 0:24:24.840
<v Speaker 2>Car That wasn't me.

0:24:25.720 --> 0:24:30.760
<v Speaker 1>Spirit has to do it. You can't. You can't that. Okay,

0:24:30.840 --> 0:24:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Let's get back to the topic, which is the one

0:24:33.119 --> 0:24:37.320
<v Speaker 1>that got away. So normally when you have this feeling

0:24:37.960 --> 0:24:40.520
<v Speaker 1>of the one that got away, it's when you've been

0:24:40.560 --> 0:24:43.520
<v Speaker 1>seeing someone for about six to eight months, and usually

0:24:43.560 --> 0:24:46.399
<v Speaker 1>that's because you're still in the honeymoon vase, So you

0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:50.439
<v Speaker 1>put them on this huge pedestal, you fantasize about what

0:24:50.520 --> 0:24:54.119
<v Speaker 1>could have been. And there's normally two things that can happen.

0:24:54.200 --> 0:24:56.760
<v Speaker 1>So the first is you guys sort of knew each

0:24:56.800 --> 0:25:00.560
<v Speaker 1>other socially, fell to spark, and then they didn't follow

0:25:00.600 --> 0:25:03.720
<v Speaker 1>through with the relationship, which leaves you obviously heartbroken and

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:06.600
<v Speaker 1>wanting more, wanting more, wondering what if.

0:25:06.640 --> 0:25:09.200
<v Speaker 2>They've taken that dok mean serotonin hit away from you.

0:25:09.440 --> 0:25:11.320
<v Speaker 1>They gave it all to you and then they ripped

0:25:11.320 --> 0:25:15.680
<v Speaker 1>it away. The next one is when the relationship has

0:25:15.800 --> 0:25:20.040
<v Speaker 1>actually kind of started, there's some traction, but there's a

0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:24.720
<v Speaker 1>disconnect or a misunderstanding, something wasn't resolved and it ended

0:25:25.000 --> 0:25:29.639
<v Speaker 1>very abruptly, and you're kind of sideswiped by something else.

0:25:30.160 --> 0:25:34.040
<v Speaker 1>So can you relate to either of those kind of circumstances?

0:25:34.160 --> 0:25:37.879
<v Speaker 2>I would say the second one, but not how long

0:25:37.920 --> 0:25:39.520
<v Speaker 2>did they give again? Eight? Six? Eight months?

0:25:39.560 --> 0:25:42.640
<v Speaker 1>They said normally it can be six to eight months,

0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:45.680
<v Speaker 1>But obviously there's exceptions to every kind of rule.

0:25:45.800 --> 0:25:48.000
<v Speaker 2>When I think about that, I think about one that's

0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:50.720
<v Speaker 2>been going for like two years nearly, and you're just

0:25:50.760 --> 0:25:53.399
<v Speaker 2>so complacent and then maybe they just go you know

0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:55.760
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, and they just go nut, they just

0:25:55.800 --> 0:25:56.600
<v Speaker 2>wake up one day.

0:25:56.520 --> 0:25:59.560
<v Speaker 1>And maybe that's a boy thing. Maybe that's a boy

0:25:59.600 --> 0:26:02.480
<v Speaker 1>thing of not putting in enough effort, which I feel

0:26:02.520 --> 0:26:06.240
<v Speaker 1>like many men are guilty of. And then in hindsight

0:26:06.280 --> 0:26:07.119
<v Speaker 1>you have regrets.

0:26:07.280 --> 0:26:09.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, so then they just

0:26:09.200 --> 0:26:12.440
<v Speaker 2>get swept the rug essentially get swept out from under you. Yeah,

0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:14.159
<v Speaker 2>and you're just like, well, where did that happen?

0:26:14.400 --> 0:26:17.920
<v Speaker 1>See? For me, as a girl, relationships like proper relationships,

0:26:18.440 --> 0:26:20.280
<v Speaker 1>it's less likely to happen because when you're in a

0:26:20.280 --> 0:26:22.919
<v Speaker 1>proper relationship with someone, you can see their negative traits,

0:26:22.920 --> 0:26:26.560
<v Speaker 1>so you can be like, they're not missed a perfect anymore,

0:26:26.640 --> 0:26:29.360
<v Speaker 1>which I once like in the honeymoon phase, you put

0:26:29.359 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 1>them on this amazing pedestal. You think that their shit

0:26:33.160 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 1>don't stick.

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:35.520
<v Speaker 2>You're like, literally, mine doesn't.

0:26:36.800 --> 0:26:39.359
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why you continue to say that. It's

0:26:39.400 --> 0:26:40.240
<v Speaker 1>so bizarre.

0:26:40.480 --> 0:26:41.960
<v Speaker 2>The doors opened.

0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:52.200
<v Speaker 1>You just anyway, and like you just think that they're amazing, right,

0:26:52.960 --> 0:26:53.720
<v Speaker 1>I agree.

0:26:53.440 --> 0:26:56.240
<v Speaker 2>And then over time you realize things and then and.

0:26:56.200 --> 0:26:58.880
<v Speaker 1>Then it's easier to let the relationship go because you could.

0:26:58.680 --> 0:27:00.720
<v Speaker 2>Be like, well, then what happens when you're on the

0:27:00.760 --> 0:27:02.320
<v Speaker 2>other end and you don't see that happening and you're

0:27:02.359 --> 0:27:03.920
<v Speaker 2>not thinking that way. That's what I'm saying.

0:27:03.960 --> 0:27:04.840
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean, so.

0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:07.520
<v Speaker 2>Like you, you're not thinking, oh, you're seeing all those

0:27:07.640 --> 0:27:09.400
<v Speaker 2>faults because you're sort of just slack.

0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:12.800
<v Speaker 1>You're putting in minimal effort. Oh yeah, they're probably doing

0:27:12.840 --> 0:27:13.760
<v Speaker 1>everything for you.

0:27:14.760 --> 0:27:17.320
<v Speaker 2>Fuck when did this become so personal?

0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:21.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm not taking personally. I'm just saying exactly what I'm thinking.

0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:24.480
<v Speaker 1>If you're taking it personally, and that's a problem.

0:27:25.680 --> 0:27:28.400
<v Speaker 2>I forget I said anything, but you know what I mean.

0:27:28.440 --> 0:27:30.639
<v Speaker 2>And then you're focusing on like your job, you're like

0:27:30.720 --> 0:27:32.360
<v Speaker 2>your careers and all that sort of stuff, and you're

0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:35.280
<v Speaker 2>you're not really focusing so much in the relationship, which happens,

0:27:35.359 --> 0:27:38.080
<v Speaker 2>and then they just wake up one day and go

0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:39.760
<v Speaker 2>nah and pull the rug and you're.

0:27:39.640 --> 0:27:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, yeah, wait what Yeah?

0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I think that's that's why I'd find it the hardest

0:27:45.800 --> 0:27:47.560
<v Speaker 2>to move on sort of thing.

0:27:47.480 --> 0:27:50.760
<v Speaker 1>One hundred percent, because I guess, like, you didn't make

0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 1>them a priority, and the fact that you didn't do that,

0:27:53.840 --> 0:27:55.439
<v Speaker 1>then you think, well, what if I did make them

0:27:55.440 --> 0:27:57.040
<v Speaker 1>a priority? And that's where that what.

0:27:57.040 --> 0:28:00.000
<v Speaker 2>If kind of like, I agree, that's exactly.

0:28:00.000 --> 0:28:03.679
<v Speaker 1>I think that imagination kind of can drive you wild

0:28:03.680 --> 0:28:07.920
<v Speaker 1>and takes you away to a place where you're like regret. Regret, Yeah,

0:28:08.040 --> 0:28:11.879
<v Speaker 1>the regret. Well, it's the concept of hindsight, right, It's like,

0:28:12.600 --> 0:28:16.040
<v Speaker 1>what could I have done? Could we have spent the

0:28:16.040 --> 0:28:17.240
<v Speaker 1>rest of our lives together?

0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:19.240
<v Speaker 2>Hindsight is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

0:28:19.320 --> 0:28:23.600
<v Speaker 1>But is it just a grass is greener mentality? Is

0:28:23.640 --> 0:28:25.120
<v Speaker 1>the question that I have for you.

0:28:25.720 --> 0:28:27.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe the grass is greener on the other side.

0:28:28.040 --> 0:28:29.680
<v Speaker 2>I believe it's greener where you water it.

0:28:29.880 --> 0:28:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I know you do say that, and I do. That's

0:28:33.320 --> 0:28:35.320
<v Speaker 1>throwing up some gangster SI right now.

0:28:35.520 --> 0:28:36.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I reckon that.

0:28:36.280 --> 0:28:37.159
<v Speaker 1>I'm a little bit worried.

0:28:37.280 --> 0:28:39.840
<v Speaker 2>That's literally that saying I reckon that because I was,

0:28:39.960 --> 0:28:42.120
<v Speaker 2>for a strong period of my life always believes that

0:28:42.160 --> 0:28:44.200
<v Speaker 2>the grass is greener on the other side. You know

0:28:44.240 --> 0:28:46.480
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. I'd be if we're talking about relationships,

0:28:46.480 --> 0:28:48.280
<v Speaker 2>I'd be with someone when my younger here is like

0:28:48.280 --> 0:28:49.920
<v Speaker 2>sixteen to eighteen, and I'd be like, fuck, all my

0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:51.400
<v Speaker 2>mates are single. I want to be single. I want

0:28:51.400 --> 0:28:53.160
<v Speaker 2>to be with them. And then like you end the

0:28:53.240 --> 0:28:55.360
<v Speaker 2>relationship and I would just cry for ages wanting to

0:28:55.360 --> 0:28:55.680
<v Speaker 2>be with.

0:28:55.640 --> 0:28:57.360
<v Speaker 1>That, but that's because you can't be single.

0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:00.680
<v Speaker 2>But do you know what I mean? Like yeah, and

0:29:00.800 --> 0:29:02.560
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, well, I want to be back with them,

0:29:02.600 --> 0:29:04.800
<v Speaker 2>And then I took I don't know, a couple of

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:07.080
<v Speaker 2>years ago. I sort of like sort of had the

0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:10.440
<v Speaker 2>mentality of like, I'm going to actively in my mind

0:29:10.840 --> 0:29:12.520
<v Speaker 2>the grass is and greener on the other side, Like

0:29:12.560 --> 0:29:14.480
<v Speaker 2>it's not better to be on the other side. You've

0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:15.440
<v Speaker 2>got to work on what you are.

0:29:15.640 --> 0:29:21.680
<v Speaker 1>Certainly better for you, that's for sure. I look, I'm

0:29:21.720 --> 0:29:26.440
<v Speaker 1>going to say something I think that I know for

0:29:26.520 --> 0:29:29.080
<v Speaker 1>your one that got away, then you've had all of

0:29:29.120 --> 0:29:32.400
<v Speaker 1>these like what ifs, regrets, whatever, But if that person

0:29:32.520 --> 0:29:35.320
<v Speaker 1>was right for you, you would have prioritized it.

0:29:35.440 --> 0:29:37.720
<v Speaker 2>That's what I said from the start. Yeah, once you

0:29:37.800 --> 0:29:39.920
<v Speaker 2>realize that they're not your one, they're not the one

0:29:39.920 --> 0:29:43.160
<v Speaker 2>that got away, it's just that initial stage where it

0:29:43.280 --> 0:29:46.040
<v Speaker 2>might be what year, a year, and that where you think, oh,

0:29:46.080 --> 0:29:47.680
<v Speaker 2>I've I've done this differently, if I've done that, But

0:29:47.760 --> 0:29:49.600
<v Speaker 2>then you realize, yeah, they weren't your priority at the

0:29:49.600 --> 0:29:50.400
<v Speaker 2>time for a reason.

0:29:50.840 --> 0:29:54.600
<v Speaker 1>But then another little sorry to play Devil's advocate. But

0:29:54.720 --> 0:29:57.280
<v Speaker 1>could it just be a timing issue, like you weren't ready,

0:29:57.760 --> 0:30:01.080
<v Speaker 1>you were too young, both parties couldn't commit properly at

0:30:01.080 --> 0:30:01.440
<v Speaker 1>the time.

0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:05.600
<v Speaker 2>Good, good call. But I believe that in time now

0:30:05.640 --> 0:30:09.320
<v Speaker 2>I realized that, like maybe it was just timing. Maybe

0:30:09.320 --> 0:30:12.760
<v Speaker 2>it wasn't. But I don't think that. I don't know.

0:30:13.280 --> 0:30:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I'm happy with there I'm at. So

0:30:14.920 --> 0:30:17.440
<v Speaker 2>it's kind of weird to think down that way, if

0:30:17.640 --> 0:30:20.440
<v Speaker 2>timing or if things are being different, because in a way,

0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:23.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't think so. I think that like they're living

0:30:23.160 --> 0:30:25.360
<v Speaker 2>their life and you're living your life, and I don't

0:30:25.400 --> 0:30:28.320
<v Speaker 2>think those lives link up. Yeah at all? What about you?

0:30:28.360 --> 0:30:29.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't think they link up.

0:30:29.600 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 1>It's interesting because I've seen this thing on my TikTok

0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:37.960
<v Speaker 1>algorithm recently, and it's about how men marry the woman

0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:41.960
<v Speaker 1>who's in front of him when he's ready. Does that

0:30:42.000 --> 0:30:46.960
<v Speaker 1>make sense? Yeah, So guys, when they become ready and

0:30:46.960 --> 0:30:50.680
<v Speaker 1>get into the mindset, okay, I want to get married,

0:30:51.120 --> 0:30:54.520
<v Speaker 1>start a family, travel or whatever their life goals are,

0:30:55.440 --> 0:30:58.400
<v Speaker 1>that's the person who they marry, the woman who's in

0:30:58.400 --> 0:31:00.800
<v Speaker 1>front of them at the time. Think they can make

0:31:00.800 --> 0:31:01.120
<v Speaker 1>it work.

0:31:01.120 --> 0:31:04.240
<v Speaker 2>It sounds like it's so like I'm ready, let's pick her.

0:31:06.480 --> 0:31:09.520
<v Speaker 1>It's a thing on my algorithm that I watched once

0:31:09.560 --> 0:31:11.320
<v Speaker 1>and now I'm getting a million of these videos. You

0:31:11.320 --> 0:31:15.400
<v Speaker 1>know how the algorithm work. But like people seem to

0:31:15.440 --> 0:31:17.160
<v Speaker 1>really relate and resonate with this.

0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:20.120
<v Speaker 2>I can see what you mean. What would girls do then?

0:31:20.200 --> 0:31:22.920
<v Speaker 2>Though they always are thinking about it, they're always ready?

0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:28.840
<v Speaker 1>No, why do you think girls are always ready? No?

0:31:28.920 --> 0:31:31.240
<v Speaker 1>I think it's like, I think timing is such an

0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:35.680
<v Speaker 1>important factor on deciding who you end up with one

0:31:35.720 --> 0:31:38.720
<v Speaker 1>hundred percent, because I think like when the timing is

0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:42.520
<v Speaker 1>right and you meet someone who's like ready as well,

0:31:43.000 --> 0:31:46.240
<v Speaker 1>then you kind of like align and your life goals

0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:50.240
<v Speaker 1>aligne and you start to kind of like plan out

0:31:50.280 --> 0:31:52.600
<v Speaker 1>the future. Whereas like, for instance, when I was in

0:31:52.600 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 1>my six year relationship, we were kind of just like

0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:58.080
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship, like nothing really happened.

0:31:58.520 --> 0:32:02.080
<v Speaker 2>We moved in together, buying saving for a house. Did

0:32:02.080 --> 0:32:03.120
<v Speaker 2>you have the same goals?

0:32:03.360 --> 0:32:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Like he was a builder, so he was building a

0:32:05.840 --> 0:32:07.800
<v Speaker 1>house and we were going to move into it, but like,

0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:08.760
<v Speaker 1>well that's.

0:32:08.640 --> 0:32:10.120
<v Speaker 2>Brutal, And then you broke up with him and he

0:32:10.400 --> 0:32:11.560
<v Speaker 2>built the house for you too.

0:32:11.760 --> 0:32:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Don't make me feel bad? Has such discussion.

0:32:18.840 --> 0:32:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Does he still have that house?

0:32:20.200 --> 0:32:21.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I haven't spoken to him in a

0:32:21.800 --> 0:32:22.280
<v Speaker 1>hot minute.

0:32:22.320 --> 0:32:24.440
<v Speaker 2>But he has a sausage dog, doesn't it?

0:32:24.520 --> 0:32:30.160
<v Speaker 1>I think? So cool? Dude, Matt wants to make friends

0:32:30.160 --> 0:32:30.840
<v Speaker 1>with my egg.

0:32:31.760 --> 0:32:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Just to play with the goods. No, but I know

0:32:34.760 --> 0:32:36.160
<v Speaker 2>what you mean that if they're not on the same

0:32:36.280 --> 0:32:38.280
<v Speaker 2>journey with you, then the timing's not right.

0:32:38.440 --> 0:32:44.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, Matt, Let's talk about why situationships hurt more

0:32:44.720 --> 0:32:46.320
<v Speaker 1>than a real breakup sometimes.

0:32:46.520 --> 0:32:52.760
<v Speaker 2>Next, why does it feel like sometimes when we end

0:32:52.760 --> 0:32:55.480
<v Speaker 2>a situationship it can hurt more than like a long

0:32:55.560 --> 0:32:56.320
<v Speaker 2>term breakup.

0:32:56.960 --> 0:33:00.520
<v Speaker 1>It's such a hard one, right, because I've definitely had

0:33:01.280 --> 0:33:05.240
<v Speaker 1>situationships that have ended hurt more than long term relationships.

0:33:05.280 --> 0:33:08.600
<v Speaker 1>And I know I'm definitely not the only one in

0:33:08.680 --> 0:33:11.000
<v Speaker 1>this boat. And I think it's just because it triggers

0:33:11.040 --> 0:33:14.080
<v Speaker 1>those feelings of like what could have been? You know

0:33:14.160 --> 0:33:16.600
<v Speaker 1>what I mean, Like what if I was.

0:33:16.680 --> 0:33:19.680
<v Speaker 2>I've been trying to think about a situationship that's ended

0:33:20.200 --> 0:33:23.720
<v Speaker 2>that I've been distraught about, and I can't really think

0:33:23.760 --> 0:33:25.800
<v Speaker 2>of one, think of one like I can't. I'm trying

0:33:25.800 --> 0:33:29.560
<v Speaker 2>to think I don't think this sounds pretty bad, but

0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:32.720
<v Speaker 2>it is the truth. I don't think I've fully invested

0:33:32.760 --> 0:33:34.080
<v Speaker 2>in a situation where I'm.

0:33:33.920 --> 0:33:36.120
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, but then, how do you get to a

0:33:36.120 --> 0:33:37.560
<v Speaker 1>point of being in a relationship?

0:33:37.600 --> 0:33:41.200
<v Speaker 2>Then well, I guess just you keep hanging out, and

0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:43.200
<v Speaker 2>I think it hasn't gotten to the point where like.

0:33:43.840 --> 0:33:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Or so, you've never got to a point where you've

0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:49.200
<v Speaker 1>like thought it was turning into a relationship and then didn't.

0:33:49.400 --> 0:33:51.240
<v Speaker 2>Actually, I lie. That was probably one girl when I

0:33:51.280 --> 0:33:53.640
<v Speaker 2>was younger. She used to make my coffees all the time.

0:33:53.680 --> 0:33:54.640
<v Speaker 2>We hung out a fair.

0:33:54.480 --> 0:33:56.680
<v Speaker 1>Bit and I was like, oh, okay, she was a barista.

0:33:56.880 --> 0:33:58.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she was my own barrista who made my coffees.

0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:01.120
<v Speaker 2>And there again right and I was like, oh yeah,

0:34:01.160 --> 0:34:03.520
<v Speaker 2>cool chick, Like see where this goes. So I spoke

0:34:03.560 --> 0:34:07.280
<v Speaker 2>for like five months or something, hung out, and I

0:34:07.280 --> 0:34:09.440
<v Speaker 2>think this was probably this first and last person that

0:34:09.480 --> 0:34:12.439
<v Speaker 2>I realized like, don't go two balls to the wall

0:34:12.480 --> 0:34:14.759
<v Speaker 2>because they might not be do you know what I mean?

0:34:14.840 --> 0:34:18.319
<v Speaker 2>So I was pretty into it, and then she wasn't.

0:34:18.400 --> 0:34:20.160
<v Speaker 2>She met some other guy and my mates were making

0:34:20.200 --> 0:34:22.600
<v Speaker 2>out at the local, and then I sort of took

0:34:22.600 --> 0:34:23.879
<v Speaker 2>a step back and I was like, okay, well we're

0:34:23.880 --> 0:34:27.120
<v Speaker 2>not exclusive, so fair enough. But I was sort of

0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.279
<v Speaker 2>like respecting that line. And then it just sort of

0:34:29.320 --> 0:34:31.400
<v Speaker 2>fizzled out from that. I was sort of not upset.

0:34:31.920 --> 0:34:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, no more free coffees. That sucks.

0:34:35.760 --> 0:34:39.840
<v Speaker 1>How is your feelings? Feeling that it was to the side.

0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:42.080
<v Speaker 2>I was upset, But it was a time in my

0:34:42.120 --> 0:34:45.919
<v Speaker 2>life where like it was like thank you next sort

0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:47.759
<v Speaker 2>of thing, like well, who, Like I was young, I

0:34:47.800 --> 0:34:50.560
<v Speaker 2>was twenty one twenty two, right, so young. Yes, it

0:34:50.600 --> 0:34:53.520
<v Speaker 2>was sort of like who's who's Like, you know who's there?

0:34:53.600 --> 0:34:55.520
<v Speaker 1>Like and you next on the rotation?

0:34:56.200 --> 0:34:58.040
<v Speaker 2>Who's next? Once you're going out all the time you're

0:34:58.040 --> 0:35:00.319
<v Speaker 2>meeting new people, I was like who I And then

0:35:00.840 --> 0:35:04.880
<v Speaker 2>funnily enough, another situationship actually arose not shortly after, just

0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:07.319
<v Speaker 2>through sheer, like just you know, you're meeting people all

0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:08.480
<v Speaker 2>the time, single.

0:35:08.400 --> 0:35:10.520
<v Speaker 1>So you reckon it. Like twenty one you kind of

0:35:11.000 --> 0:35:14.440
<v Speaker 1>got taught the lesson of like, don't invest until you

0:35:14.480 --> 0:35:15.480
<v Speaker 1>know there are one hundred.

0:35:15.200 --> 0:35:17.720
<v Speaker 2>Percent Yeah, twenty two around the great.

0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:18.239
<v Speaker 1>Time to learn it.

0:35:18.360 --> 0:35:19.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly.

0:35:19.480 --> 0:35:23.879
<v Speaker 1>I wish I got some of that. Could have done

0:35:23.920 --> 0:35:26.040
<v Speaker 1>with a couple of those lessons.

0:35:25.719 --> 0:35:28.839
<v Speaker 2>I mean, but I'm sure along the way, i've sort of,

0:35:28.880 --> 0:35:30.920
<v Speaker 2>like with Black Spoken, I've been like, oh, I like

0:35:31.000 --> 0:35:32.960
<v Speaker 2>this one, but then I don't have I ever been

0:35:33.000 --> 0:35:35.520
<v Speaker 2>Have you seen me distraught every situationship ending?

0:35:37.560 --> 0:35:40.040
<v Speaker 1>Not really, if I think about it.

0:35:40.520 --> 0:35:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I've sort of just always been like, oh, yeah, well

0:35:42.719 --> 0:35:43.400
<v Speaker 2>it's not meant to be.

0:35:43.719 --> 0:35:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you kind of if you're single, you would

0:35:46.120 --> 0:35:48.560
<v Speaker 1>probably be talking to a couple of people. So if

0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:52.680
<v Speaker 1>one fucks you off, you're replacing pretty quickly. She's a

0:35:52.719 --> 0:35:55.600
<v Speaker 1>bit toxic of you, but I will but also not

0:35:55.640 --> 0:35:58.799
<v Speaker 1>really because you're single, like you can date around like

0:35:59.239 --> 0:36:03.120
<v Speaker 1>and the thing is when you meet someone. Thent's talk

0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:06.399
<v Speaker 1>about Jen. You met Jen and you were all in

0:36:06.520 --> 0:36:11.480
<v Speaker 1>from date one. Yeah, so like what happens if after

0:36:11.600 --> 0:36:14.840
<v Speaker 1>like six dates, when you put her on that massive pedestal,

0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:16.880
<v Speaker 1>if she was like, I'm not ready, how would that

0:36:16.960 --> 0:36:19.480
<v Speaker 1>have felt? Or were you still not all in?

0:36:19.600 --> 0:36:23.920
<v Speaker 2>I guess we'll never know, No, I I was.

0:36:24.280 --> 0:36:26.839
<v Speaker 1>I think maybe you've just been lucky that you've never

0:36:26.880 --> 0:36:30.439
<v Speaker 1>been all in and someone's pulled out. Yeah, maybe I've

0:36:30.480 --> 0:36:31.720
<v Speaker 1>been there in a fucking sacks.

0:36:32.880 --> 0:36:34.960
<v Speaker 2>It's actually a good point because I just think I

0:36:35.000 --> 0:36:37.120
<v Speaker 2>think there was a lot about that though. That was

0:36:37.160 --> 0:36:39.680
<v Speaker 2>like it was six years of chatting on and off.

0:36:39.760 --> 0:36:41.919
<v Speaker 2>It was that like do you know what I mean,

0:36:42.000 --> 0:36:44.600
<v Speaker 2>we sort of got like when we got to the point,

0:36:44.600 --> 0:36:46.759
<v Speaker 2>it was like, oh, here we go, Like, yeah, this

0:36:46.840 --> 0:36:47.880
<v Speaker 2>has been a long time coming.

0:36:48.040 --> 0:36:50.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean there was moved a blessed life to never

0:36:50.200 --> 0:36:53.040
<v Speaker 1>experience that type of pain because, let me tell you,

0:36:53.280 --> 0:36:58.479
<v Speaker 1>fucking suck. Oh. Like I remember when my situationship ended,

0:36:58.480 --> 0:37:01.160
<v Speaker 1>I reckon. I cried in bed for a week for

0:37:01.200 --> 0:37:04.800
<v Speaker 1>a situation over a situation ship. I took it harder

0:37:04.840 --> 0:37:09.600
<v Speaker 1>than a long term relationship breakup, definitely, because in a

0:37:09.600 --> 0:37:12.280
<v Speaker 1>long term relationship breakup, if you're breaking up with them,

0:37:12.680 --> 0:37:15.160
<v Speaker 1>then you're kind of like, okay, these are the reasons why,

0:37:15.400 --> 0:37:18.399
<v Speaker 1>Like I want to be single, and like I want

0:37:18.400 --> 0:37:20.120
<v Speaker 1>to do this with my life, and like you have

0:37:20.239 --> 0:37:22.600
<v Speaker 1>all you have all the reasons. You've justified it, right,

0:37:22.640 --> 0:37:24.759
<v Speaker 1>And I feel it's still sad, but you've justified it.

0:37:24.800 --> 0:37:26.160
<v Speaker 2>I feel like by the time you break up with

0:37:26.200 --> 0:37:28.600
<v Speaker 2>them and you've done the seven things of grieving as well,

0:37:28.640 --> 0:37:30.839
<v Speaker 2>if you're the one pulling the trigger, you've done like

0:37:30.920 --> 0:37:33.439
<v Speaker 2>the I don't know what they are off the top

0:37:33.480 --> 0:37:34.759
<v Speaker 2>of my head, but you know what I mean? And

0:37:34.760 --> 0:37:36.680
<v Speaker 2>then yeah, come to acceptance.

0:37:36.200 --> 0:37:39.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah absolutely. Whereas like when it gets swept

0:37:39.560 --> 0:37:43.640
<v Speaker 1>from under your feet, it's like it's almost like it

0:37:43.719 --> 0:37:46.560
<v Speaker 1>kind of gives you that feeling of like, well, it

0:37:46.640 --> 0:37:51.880
<v Speaker 1>hurts your ego firstly, right, Like your ego takes a

0:37:51.880 --> 0:37:55.960
<v Speaker 1>big hit when someone says I don't want you, because

0:37:55.960 --> 0:37:58.200
<v Speaker 1>you're like, what have I done wrong? Is there something

0:37:58.200 --> 0:38:00.600
<v Speaker 1>I could have done better? Was I bad in bed?

0:38:00.920 --> 0:38:03.680
<v Speaker 1>Am I too fat? Like? What is it about me

0:38:04.560 --> 0:38:09.359
<v Speaker 1>that makes you not so appreciate me the way I

0:38:09.440 --> 0:38:10.239
<v Speaker 1>appreciate you?

0:38:10.440 --> 0:38:12.960
<v Speaker 2>I just clicked. Then Jen was telling me a story

0:38:13.000 --> 0:38:15.240
<v Speaker 2>on the way last night, we're in the car about

0:38:15.239 --> 0:38:17.160
<v Speaker 2>her friend at work had been in a situationship with

0:38:17.200 --> 0:38:20.080
<v Speaker 2>this guy for five fucking How do I forget this

0:38:20.600 --> 0:38:22.160
<v Speaker 2>for five? It was probably because I was holding down

0:38:22.160 --> 0:38:24.080
<v Speaker 2>a barm me in while she was telling me. I

0:38:24.160 --> 0:38:27.600
<v Speaker 2>was focused on that, Yeah, that this girl at work

0:38:27.960 --> 0:38:31.520
<v Speaker 2>had been seeing this guy for five months and he

0:38:31.600 --> 0:38:34.520
<v Speaker 2>literally they'd been hanging out all week, going on dates.

0:38:34.560 --> 0:38:36.480
<v Speaker 2>He'd be cooking her dinners, all this sort of stuff,

0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:38.640
<v Speaker 2>and he literally told her on the weekend that he's

0:38:38.640 --> 0:38:40.919
<v Speaker 2>not interested in taking this any further and she's heart

0:38:40.920 --> 0:38:43.560
<v Speaker 2>broken about it. She's like, I really failed for this guy.

0:38:43.560 --> 0:38:46.360
<v Speaker 2>I was starting to like him. And yeah, Jen was

0:38:46.400 --> 0:38:47.120
<v Speaker 2>like confined.

0:38:48.239 --> 0:38:50.520
<v Speaker 1>What's the word she was confiding in gen Yeah.

0:38:50.360 --> 0:38:51.880
<v Speaker 2>And was comforting her at work.

0:38:52.760 --> 0:38:55.360
<v Speaker 1>It's because you just don't see it coming.

0:38:55.800 --> 0:38:58.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, this is the girl that I went. When I

0:38:58.000 --> 0:38:59.760
<v Speaker 2>went and got drinks with her and her work friends,

0:39:00.160 --> 0:39:01.839
<v Speaker 2>she was telling me about the situation. I said, he's

0:39:01.880 --> 0:39:04.759
<v Speaker 2>not into you. And this was in December. I knew

0:39:04.880 --> 0:39:07.000
<v Speaker 2>straight away. I was like, he doesn't. He's not into you.

0:39:07.960 --> 0:39:10.200
<v Speaker 1>That's all you've given me, those hard truths.

0:39:10.200 --> 0:39:12.239
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, Well Jen cracked it at me for telling

0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:14.480
<v Speaker 2>her friends that. She's like, you shouldn't say that, and

0:39:14.520 --> 0:39:16.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I was just helping her.

0:39:16.040 --> 0:39:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Out, you know what. I always stand by this. The

0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:23.120
<v Speaker 1>truth hurts, but people should hear it. Yeah, Like, why

0:39:23.440 --> 0:39:26.840
<v Speaker 1>have your feelings run away with themselves and prolong something

0:39:26.880 --> 0:39:30.520
<v Speaker 1>that's already coming, Like if something's not going to work out,

0:39:31.120 --> 0:39:33.200
<v Speaker 1>I would prefer to know at the two month mark

0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:36.360
<v Speaker 1>over the five month mark, all day, every day.

0:39:37.280 --> 0:39:38.840
<v Speaker 2>Is it better to have loved and lost than to

0:39:38.880 --> 0:39:39.600
<v Speaker 2>never love it? All?

0:39:39.719 --> 0:39:42.879
<v Speaker 1>But feelings at two months compared to five months are

0:39:43.040 --> 0:39:46.520
<v Speaker 1>very different. At five months, you're getting comfortable. You're like

0:39:46.600 --> 0:39:48.560
<v Speaker 1>basically living at each other's places.

0:39:48.640 --> 0:39:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Like when you fixed up that baby name list on.

0:39:51.120 --> 0:39:55.920
<v Speaker 1>You've got the agreed. I'm the one that's going.

0:39:55.360 --> 0:39:57.560
<v Speaker 2>Ahead the photo shopped her a wedding photo.

0:39:59.440 --> 0:40:03.120
<v Speaker 1>But it's so hard with situationships because you lose something

0:40:03.760 --> 0:40:05.520
<v Speaker 1>that was never yours to lose.

0:40:07.400 --> 0:40:09.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I've had that thrown in my face a couple

0:40:09.560 --> 0:40:12.799
<v Speaker 2>of times, not with relationships, but with like opportunities and that,

0:40:12.920 --> 0:40:15.279
<v Speaker 2>and people have said, well, you didn't get it, like

0:40:15.320 --> 0:40:16.960
<v Speaker 2>you were just in the running for it, and I'm like, yeah,

0:40:17.120 --> 0:40:20.400
<v Speaker 2>still it sucks because you've pictured yourself. Yeah you know

0:40:20.480 --> 0:40:21.640
<v Speaker 2>what I mean in that position.

0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:23.560
<v Speaker 1>You picture yourself at the end of the aisle.

0:40:23.760 --> 0:40:26.239
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well not yeah so much, but you know, like

0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:28.320
<v Speaker 2>opportunities of yeah, well that's what we're talking about relationship,

0:40:28.360 --> 0:40:30.160
<v Speaker 2>but in the opportunities you like you picture yourself in

0:40:30.200 --> 0:40:33.200
<v Speaker 2>that that job role or that role. Yeah, it's been

0:40:33.280 --> 0:40:34.000
<v Speaker 2>taken away from you.

0:40:34.440 --> 0:40:37.000
<v Speaker 1>And the thing is as well, you go from all

0:40:37.360 --> 0:40:43.880
<v Speaker 1>to nothing. So like I guess, like situationships are very spontaneous.

0:40:44.680 --> 0:40:49.360
<v Speaker 1>It's like nothing's defined, so it's exciting, And I guess

0:40:49.400 --> 0:40:53.400
<v Speaker 1>you can quickly go from speaking every day to being unfollowed,

0:40:53.520 --> 0:40:58.720
<v Speaker 1>to being ghosted to being blocked. Like you know, it's

0:40:58.800 --> 0:41:03.040
<v Speaker 1>just it's a real whirlwind and it really does take

0:41:03.080 --> 0:41:03.760
<v Speaker 1>you on a spin.

0:41:04.000 --> 0:41:06.839
<v Speaker 2>Yes, you can spiral very quickly when that happens to you.

0:41:07.120 --> 0:41:09.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I guess like with relationships, you know, there's

0:41:09.719 --> 0:41:12.279
<v Speaker 1>disagreements that you can be like, oh, well, like he

0:41:12.440 --> 0:41:14.239
<v Speaker 1>was a bit of a fuck with and like you know,

0:41:14.280 --> 0:41:16.400
<v Speaker 1>you have all of these, like your list of negatives

0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:20.600
<v Speaker 1>about them, Whereas with situationships, it's honeymoon phase. And that's

0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:23.880
<v Speaker 1>I think that's why we feel so deeply when we

0:41:23.920 --> 0:41:24.920
<v Speaker 1>do feel that rejection.

0:41:25.320 --> 0:41:27.280
<v Speaker 2>And you also want to know, like there's a natural

0:41:27.280 --> 0:41:29.960
<v Speaker 2>desire of why they didn't choose you, like what went wrong?

0:41:29.960 --> 0:41:31.319
<v Speaker 2>Like you said before, it could be what is it?

0:41:31.400 --> 0:41:33.520
<v Speaker 2>Something wrong with me where? And the end of the

0:41:33.600 --> 0:41:35.359
<v Speaker 2>day could just be that you guys weren't compatible when

0:41:35.360 --> 0:41:37.120
<v Speaker 2>they saw that and the timing was off for them.

0:41:37.320 --> 0:41:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think as well, our attachment styles have a

0:41:40.040 --> 0:41:41.360
<v Speaker 1>lot to do with it, don't you, reckon?

0:41:41.680 --> 0:41:45.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So like if you and me our attachment styles struggle,

0:41:45.600 --> 0:41:46.040
<v Speaker 2>don't they?

0:41:46.680 --> 0:41:50.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Well, like unless you're Unless you're a secure attachment,

0:41:50.600 --> 0:41:53.960
<v Speaker 1>you can find it really fucking hard if someone turns

0:41:53.960 --> 0:41:56.040
<v Speaker 1>around and says, sorry, this isn't working out for me.

0:41:56.400 --> 0:42:00.880
<v Speaker 1>Unless you're secure within yourself. It's tricky because then you

0:42:00.960 --> 0:42:03.960
<v Speaker 1>start to think, like, what's wrong with me? You know,

0:42:04.560 --> 0:42:08.120
<v Speaker 1>we're all terrified of being abandoned, and all of these

0:42:08.160 --> 0:42:12.040
<v Speaker 1>attachment styles are kind of developed because of abandonment issues

0:42:12.160 --> 0:42:14.640
<v Speaker 1>or things that have happened in our past, and like

0:42:14.920 --> 0:42:19.360
<v Speaker 1>when you actually actually get abandoned, then you're like, whoa,

0:42:19.920 --> 0:42:22.799
<v Speaker 1>this is a lot everything. All of my worries and

0:42:22.840 --> 0:42:26.000
<v Speaker 1>anxieties have been reaffirmed by what this person has just

0:42:26.040 --> 0:42:26.520
<v Speaker 1>done to me.

0:42:26.960 --> 0:42:29.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree. It definitely plays on your insecurities and

0:42:29.600 --> 0:42:32.880
<v Speaker 2>makes you question if you are attractive, worthy, or desirable

0:42:32.880 --> 0:42:33.440
<v Speaker 2>to the other.

0:42:33.360 --> 0:42:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Things, Like I reckon when situationships have ended for me,

0:42:37.800 --> 0:42:41.319
<v Speaker 1>I've never felt more insecure, Like I was like I

0:42:41.360 --> 0:42:45.000
<v Speaker 1>need to go want and diet, I need to like anything.

0:42:45.040 --> 0:42:47.319
<v Speaker 1>I need to dye my hair blonder like all of

0:42:47.320 --> 0:42:49.680
<v Speaker 1>these things, which is so silly and like in hindsight,

0:42:49.680 --> 0:42:51.799
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god, Anna, you're so stupid. Like,

0:42:52.239 --> 0:42:55.440
<v Speaker 1>but if you don't have the confidence in yourself, or

0:42:55.480 --> 0:42:57.959
<v Speaker 1>like your ego takes a hit, you really do start

0:42:58.040 --> 0:43:00.920
<v Speaker 1>questioning yourself. And when I look at younger me and like,

0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:04.200
<v Speaker 1>I feel bad for her because I questioned myself so much,

0:43:04.800 --> 0:43:06.319
<v Speaker 1>so much. I don't know if you felt this way,

0:43:06.360 --> 0:43:09.719
<v Speaker 1>because you've got more confidence than anyone I know. But

0:43:09.760 --> 0:43:13.120
<v Speaker 1>I make surely, surely you've questioned yourself.

0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:15.520
<v Speaker 2>I question things I've done, not myself.

0:43:16.160 --> 0:43:18.600
<v Speaker 1>What about when I didn't reply to your date request?

0:43:18.680 --> 0:43:21.280
<v Speaker 1>Did you question yourself? Will be like not next?

0:43:23.400 --> 0:43:27.759
<v Speaker 2>I'm sure like the next girl replied, or the one

0:43:27.800 --> 0:43:28.960
<v Speaker 2>before I said.

0:43:30.520 --> 0:43:32.760
<v Speaker 1>That message is one of twenty?

0:43:33.560 --> 0:43:37.080
<v Speaker 2>Sure? What is that? What's the expression? If you if

0:43:37.080 --> 0:43:39.239
<v Speaker 2>you throw enough lines out, one's going to take a

0:43:39.360 --> 0:43:40.319
<v Speaker 2>one's gonna take the bait.

0:43:40.680 --> 0:43:43.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, maybe that's the difference between girls and guys. Like

0:43:43.840 --> 0:43:46.040
<v Speaker 1>I will talk to like one guy and if like

0:43:46.160 --> 0:43:48.800
<v Speaker 1>I get rejected, then I take it more personally. Whereas

0:43:48.800 --> 0:43:51.600
<v Speaker 1>if you're talking to like ten girls and throwing the

0:43:51.680 --> 0:43:54.840
<v Speaker 1>same line out and you're getting two replies, you're still

0:43:54.880 --> 0:43:55.960
<v Speaker 1>feeling like.

0:43:56.880 --> 0:44:00.480
<v Speaker 2>Good young single man. You do that? Wrong with that?

0:44:01.200 --> 0:44:03.359
<v Speaker 1>No, there's nothing wrong with it. But I'm just saying, like,

0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:06.239
<v Speaker 1>if you're talking to one person, as opposed to like ten,

0:44:07.000 --> 0:44:10.200
<v Speaker 1>of course, the odds definitely mine.

0:44:11.040 --> 0:44:13.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's a numbers game, the odds.

0:44:13.400 --> 0:44:17.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's jump into our listener questions, shall we?

0:44:17.440 --> 0:44:19.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, guys, so this is where we ask you to

0:44:20.080 --> 0:44:21.839
<v Speaker 2>ask us where our heads are at.

0:44:25.680 --> 0:44:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So Cherry has written into the podcast and she

0:44:29.160 --> 0:44:32.920
<v Speaker 1>has asked, I always get stuck on my last situationship,

0:44:33.000 --> 0:44:35.520
<v Speaker 1>or date and cannot move on until I meet the

0:44:35.560 --> 0:44:39.040
<v Speaker 1>next person. Why do I get so infatuated with people?

0:44:39.719 --> 0:44:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Cherry? I think that you feel hard.

0:44:41.600 --> 0:44:43.560
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I can relate to this.

0:44:43.920 --> 0:44:46.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So why do you think Cherry does this?

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.760
<v Speaker 1>Well? I guess she's kind of putting her self worth

0:44:49.080 --> 0:44:52.080
<v Speaker 1>on like the date that she's been on, Like, are

0:44:52.160 --> 0:44:54.520
<v Speaker 1>they nice to me? Does that mean that I'm worthy? So?

0:44:55.520 --> 0:44:58.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there's nothing really wrong with like, in my opinion,

0:44:58.719 --> 0:45:00.640
<v Speaker 1>you know how I feel about this, get under to

0:45:00.680 --> 0:45:02.960
<v Speaker 1>get over, even if it just means going on another

0:45:03.080 --> 0:45:05.880
<v Speaker 1>date to get over Essentially.

0:45:05.760 --> 0:45:07.959
<v Speaker 2>How shit would that date be if they just suck

0:45:08.000 --> 0:45:09.440
<v Speaker 2>and you're trying to get over someone and you're thinking

0:45:09.440 --> 0:45:10.640
<v Speaker 2>about someone the whole time.

0:45:11.160 --> 0:45:14.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think it's pretty normal to feel that way,

0:45:14.680 --> 0:45:17.280
<v Speaker 1>especially if you're kind of like out there really wanting

0:45:17.360 --> 0:45:20.279
<v Speaker 1>like a relationship, and you can't seem to find one,

0:45:20.320 --> 0:45:22.040
<v Speaker 1>So then maybe you put like quite a lot of

0:45:22.160 --> 0:45:25.560
<v Speaker 1>expectations and pressure. Maybe our advice to Terry is just

0:45:25.600 --> 0:45:27.960
<v Speaker 1>to take the pressure off and kind of just go

0:45:28.120 --> 0:45:32.560
<v Speaker 1>into each date with like a really open mind, have fun,

0:45:32.680 --> 0:45:36.920
<v Speaker 1>but don't get to like invested and invested like.

0:45:36.920 --> 0:45:38.720
<v Speaker 2>And what do we always let them come to you?

0:45:38.760 --> 0:45:40.399
<v Speaker 1>Don't, you know, chase them?

0:45:40.560 --> 0:45:44.160
<v Speaker 2>What do we always say? Don't worry if they like you,

0:45:44.200 --> 0:45:45.319
<v Speaker 2>worry if you like them.

0:45:46.280 --> 0:45:46.640
<v Speaker 1>Love that?

0:45:47.560 --> 0:45:50.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay? The next one comes from Martin. Is it true

0:45:50.880 --> 0:45:52.920
<v Speaker 2>that to get over someone, Oh, here we go, you

0:45:53.000 --> 0:45:55.560
<v Speaker 2>have to get under someone else, or at least take

0:45:55.640 --> 0:45:56.120
<v Speaker 2>someone else.

0:45:56.400 --> 0:46:01.520
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I disagree, But when the last time you were

0:46:01.520 --> 0:46:04.200
<v Speaker 1>getting over a relationship and you weren't getting under people,

0:46:04.239 --> 0:46:05.279
<v Speaker 1>I mean, let's get right.

0:46:05.320 --> 0:46:08.000
<v Speaker 2>But that's so I know from experience that it doesn't work.

0:46:08.080 --> 0:46:09.120
<v Speaker 1>But you still do it.

0:46:09.360 --> 0:46:11.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well yeah, you do it, but I reckon it

0:46:11.920 --> 0:46:15.280
<v Speaker 2>makes you feel more shitty, like you just get with people,

0:46:15.360 --> 0:46:17.399
<v Speaker 2>like like I said on that episode, Like I said,

0:46:17.440 --> 0:46:20.279
<v Speaker 2>when we've spoke about this before, like sex to me

0:46:20.400 --> 0:46:22.879
<v Speaker 2>comes easy, you know, like I don't like, it's comes

0:46:22.920 --> 0:46:26.400
<v Speaker 2>in it comes into my life. So it's not like

0:46:26.520 --> 0:46:30.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling anything. I'm briefly feeling a void and then

0:46:30.200 --> 0:46:32.239
<v Speaker 2>they're gone, you know what I mean, Like and then

0:46:32.280 --> 0:46:34.800
<v Speaker 2>you're left even lonelier and emptier.

0:46:35.400 --> 0:46:39.000
<v Speaker 1>Metaphorically, I disagree with that. I feel like getting under

0:46:39.040 --> 0:46:42.719
<v Speaker 1>actually relieves some of the loneliness I think the over

0:46:42.840 --> 0:46:45.879
<v Speaker 1>one night, yeah, as opposed to being alone the whole time.

0:46:46.160 --> 0:46:49.040
<v Speaker 2>But then, like how I think about it is, so it's.

0:46:48.840 --> 0:46:50.759
<v Speaker 1>Not like I'm having one night sense. I'm talking about

0:46:50.760 --> 0:46:54.360
<v Speaker 1>like going on dates, meeting people, like not trying to

0:46:54.600 --> 0:46:57.280
<v Speaker 1>find a spark with someone else. That's trying to remind

0:46:57.280 --> 0:47:00.680
<v Speaker 1>myself that there's other people out there, there's other fish

0:47:00.680 --> 0:47:01.200
<v Speaker 1>in the sea.

0:47:01.600 --> 0:47:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah I can see that.

0:47:02.600 --> 0:47:04.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to sit at home and twiddle my thumbs.

0:47:05.120 --> 0:47:07.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah I can see that. But like I think that

0:47:07.520 --> 0:47:10.080
<v Speaker 2>if you've broken up with someone and you truly are

0:47:10.200 --> 0:47:14.280
<v Speaker 2>heartbroken by it, I think that like mending your heart

0:47:14.440 --> 0:47:17.239
<v Speaker 2>and like spending some time by yourself and acknowledging your

0:47:17.239 --> 0:47:19.920
<v Speaker 2>feelings and sitting them and like you know, holding space

0:47:19.920 --> 0:47:22.719
<v Speaker 2>for them, as we say, and then knowing how you feel,

0:47:22.800 --> 0:47:24.680
<v Speaker 2>and then when you come to a point of moving

0:47:24.719 --> 0:47:27.799
<v Speaker 2>on then healthy and ready to move on. Look, I

0:47:27.880 --> 0:47:30.640
<v Speaker 2>just know that when I've like got gotten under to

0:47:30.680 --> 0:47:33.560
<v Speaker 2>get over. Let's hypothetically say, right, so, you pick someone up,

0:47:33.560 --> 0:47:35.960
<v Speaker 2>you're vibing with them all night, you go home, you

0:47:36.000 --> 0:47:38.319
<v Speaker 2>sleep with them, you leave their house or they leave

0:47:38.360 --> 0:47:41.000
<v Speaker 2>your house. But then, like you know what I mean,

0:47:41.160 --> 0:47:43.719
<v Speaker 2>like you send them a message. You're in your head

0:47:43.719 --> 0:47:45.600
<v Speaker 2>about sending them a message. When do you talk to

0:47:45.719 --> 0:47:48.040
<v Speaker 2>him next? What's the next step? Do you know what

0:47:48.080 --> 0:47:48.359
<v Speaker 2>I mean?

0:47:48.640 --> 0:47:50.000
<v Speaker 1>Getting jumping back on the bed.

0:47:50.080 --> 0:47:52.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but if you're not ready, you're not in a healed,

0:47:52.360 --> 0:47:55.120
<v Speaker 2>good mental space to do that. I can also be

0:47:55.360 --> 0:47:57.600
<v Speaker 2>spiraling and be more detrimental to you.

0:47:57.680 --> 0:48:00.160
<v Speaker 1>Look, I definitely get what you're saying. But I will

0:48:00.200 --> 0:48:04.680
<v Speaker 1>say that after my last relationship, I was very upset,

0:48:05.160 --> 0:48:08.799
<v Speaker 1>and then I hooked up with someone who I had

0:48:08.800 --> 0:48:11.040
<v Speaker 1>hooked up with in the past, and it reminded me

0:48:11.680 --> 0:48:14.839
<v Speaker 1>that there was other people out there, people that I liked,

0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:17.279
<v Speaker 1>and even although me and that person weren't going to

0:48:17.280 --> 0:48:20.360
<v Speaker 1>get back together, it kind of just made me feel calm,

0:48:20.440 --> 0:48:22.920
<v Speaker 1>like I didn't feel like time was running out. It

0:48:22.960 --> 0:48:27.400
<v Speaker 1>felt like when when I was in a breakup mentality,

0:48:27.440 --> 0:48:29.760
<v Speaker 1>I felt like it was like a ticking time bomb.

0:48:29.760 --> 0:48:34.680
<v Speaker 1>I was like, you know, it's just that stressful, anxious feeling.

0:48:34.760 --> 0:48:37.440
<v Speaker 1>And I feel like getting under kind of broke that

0:48:37.480 --> 0:48:40.160
<v Speaker 1>cycle for me, and then I could kind of move

0:48:40.239 --> 0:48:42.680
<v Speaker 1>into doing those more healthy things. I started going to

0:48:42.680 --> 0:48:44.720
<v Speaker 1>the gym, I started taking care of my mental health.

0:48:44.960 --> 0:48:47.160
<v Speaker 1>I started really like focusing on me and like, yes,

0:48:47.200 --> 0:48:49.719
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't ready for a new relationship, but I still

0:48:49.760 --> 0:48:53.719
<v Speaker 1>wanted to experience single life because also, I feel like

0:48:53.800 --> 0:48:56.200
<v Speaker 1>single life doesn't last that long in the scheme of things,

0:48:56.280 --> 0:48:58.320
<v Speaker 1>Like if you think about it, for the majority of

0:48:58.400 --> 0:49:02.280
<v Speaker 1>my life past eighteen, I've been in relationship. So single

0:49:02.480 --> 0:49:05.480
<v Speaker 1>single life is short and sharp, like it's here and there.

0:49:05.560 --> 0:49:08.640
<v Speaker 1>It's not like a constant. Being in a relationship is

0:49:08.640 --> 0:49:10.319
<v Speaker 1>more of a constant from me. And I think you're

0:49:10.360 --> 0:49:10.720
<v Speaker 1>the same.

0:49:10.880 --> 0:49:12.600
<v Speaker 2>I think I am. I'll have to do some numbers,

0:49:12.600 --> 0:49:16.400
<v Speaker 2>but the same. Yeah, I'll talking about that, but I

0:49:16.400 --> 0:49:18.239
<v Speaker 2>hear what you're saying, and look, all I'm going to

0:49:18.320 --> 0:49:21.360
<v Speaker 2>leave it on is if you're not over that person,

0:49:21.560 --> 0:49:23.640
<v Speaker 2>and then you go and you get back into that

0:49:23.760 --> 0:49:26.160
<v Speaker 2>scene too quickly and you're sleeping with someone and then

0:49:26.600 --> 0:49:28.880
<v Speaker 2>you're like fuck, what's going on. And then you're already

0:49:29.040 --> 0:49:31.560
<v Speaker 2>you're you're not healed, so like the heal, the wounds

0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:34.920
<v Speaker 2>haven't healed from the previous thing. Yeah, you're making more wounds,

0:49:34.960 --> 0:49:38.319
<v Speaker 2>more stress for yourself opening up the other ones by

0:49:38.480 --> 0:49:39.880
<v Speaker 2>like dating too quickly.

0:49:40.200 --> 0:49:41.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, definitely don't date too quickly.

0:49:42.120 --> 0:49:44.840
<v Speaker 2>Reason like, yeah, I did you know my opinion from experience,

0:49:44.880 --> 0:49:47.120
<v Speaker 2>I just don't think it works, but you do. So

0:49:47.160 --> 0:49:48.360
<v Speaker 2>we're on two different things with that.

0:49:48.880 --> 0:49:51.880
<v Speaker 1>That you're actually like you're rolling around celibate. You're not

0:49:52.000 --> 0:49:55.279
<v Speaker 1>rolling around celibate, like you're not getting over people, but

0:49:55.320 --> 0:49:57.759
<v Speaker 1>you're still not being celibate. So, I mean, there's a

0:49:57.840 --> 0:50:00.319
<v Speaker 1>happy medium in between what we're saying. I know you

0:50:00.360 --> 0:50:03.480
<v Speaker 1>do exactly what I'm saying, but you get but you're

0:50:03.520 --> 0:50:04.440
<v Speaker 1>just not getting over this.

0:50:04.640 --> 0:50:06.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm not getting over it. Remember like my last one.

0:50:07.160 --> 0:50:10.759
<v Speaker 1>I know, you're like, it's not like you're sitting in

0:50:10.800 --> 0:50:17.800
<v Speaker 1>your bedroom with a chastity. You're making this Saint's.

0:50:17.040 --> 0:50:22.920
<v Speaker 2>Like Hail Mary's and all that. You literally said.

0:50:22.680 --> 0:50:25.080
<v Speaker 1>To me, that's going to church on the weekends instead

0:50:25.120 --> 0:50:27.800
<v Speaker 1>of going to the club. Trust me, guys, it's not happening.

0:50:27.840 --> 0:50:29.360
<v Speaker 2>It's not happening. But you literally said to me what

0:50:29.360 --> 0:50:31.680
<v Speaker 2>you're doing is not working. And I was like, you're.

0:50:31.560 --> 0:50:33.960
<v Speaker 1>Right, Yeah, that's true, But I mean.

0:50:34.320 --> 0:50:36.399
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't working for me. It just wasn't. I wasn't

0:50:36.440 --> 0:50:37.520
<v Speaker 2>I wasn't happy within myself.

0:50:37.560 --> 0:50:39.760
<v Speaker 1>I think what you would do would have worked for anyone,

0:50:39.880 --> 0:50:40.520
<v Speaker 1>to be honest.

0:50:41.560 --> 0:50:48.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, true, a lot of not good not good? Oh mad,

0:50:48.560 --> 0:50:50.439
<v Speaker 2>all right, you go, let's go on to the next one.

0:50:51.040 --> 0:50:55.080
<v Speaker 1>That's like, let's move on from that. Okay. So Jordan says,

0:50:55.280 --> 0:50:57.879
<v Speaker 1>my ex keeps telling me that I am the one

0:50:57.880 --> 0:50:59.960
<v Speaker 1>that got away, and this makes me feel guilty and

0:51:00.080 --> 0:51:03.040
<v Speaker 1>uncomfortable as I don't feel the same. How do I

0:51:03.080 --> 0:51:06.600
<v Speaker 1>get him to know that he needs to move on?

0:51:07.440 --> 0:51:10.680
<v Speaker 2>Two points Jordan telling him be honest with him, tell

0:51:10.719 --> 0:51:12.799
<v Speaker 2>him that your communication, Yeah, tell him you don't feel

0:51:12.840 --> 0:51:15.160
<v Speaker 2>the same way. Yeah, I think you've got to be

0:51:15.200 --> 0:51:17.319
<v Speaker 2>cruel to be kind, yeah, or else he doesn't seem

0:51:17.320 --> 0:51:18.200
<v Speaker 2>like he's ever going to move on.

0:51:18.520 --> 0:51:19.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what the hard thing is? As I

0:51:20.000 --> 0:51:24.080
<v Speaker 1>feel like secretly every single person on the planet loves

0:51:24.120 --> 0:51:26.600
<v Speaker 1>to hear from the X because it's like, ha, yes,

0:51:26.640 --> 0:51:27.840
<v Speaker 1>you still care about me.

0:51:27.960 --> 0:51:30.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think Jordan's actually like loving the messages

0:51:30.800 --> 0:51:31.400
<v Speaker 2>and loves.

0:51:31.200 --> 0:51:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Hearing don't come and Jordans.

0:51:35.680 --> 0:51:38.759
<v Speaker 2>That I think she's in Yeah, sorry, Jordan, love you,

0:51:38.840 --> 0:51:41.560
<v Speaker 2>thanks for listening, thanks for the message, appreciate you. But

0:51:41.680 --> 0:51:43.719
<v Speaker 2>I think that you've you're as much to blame here

0:51:43.760 --> 0:51:45.600
<v Speaker 2>as much like he needs to move on. You need

0:51:45.640 --> 0:51:46.799
<v Speaker 2>to tell him to you and you need to block

0:51:46.880 --> 0:51:47.239
<v Speaker 2>him off.

0:51:47.560 --> 0:51:50.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you just have to be super clear, because the

0:51:50.400 --> 0:51:52.680
<v Speaker 1>thing is is if you have an ex who's reaching

0:51:52.760 --> 0:51:56.840
<v Speaker 1>out and you're not setting clear boundaries, then it's kind

0:51:56.880 --> 0:52:00.640
<v Speaker 1>of unfortunately, as like hard as it is to say,

0:52:00.719 --> 0:52:02.720
<v Speaker 1>you're kind of giving them a little bit of false

0:52:02.760 --> 0:52:06.080
<v Speaker 1>hope by kind of maybe replying or you know, I

0:52:06.080 --> 0:52:09.000
<v Speaker 1>guess like the whole feeling guilty and uncomfortable, like she

0:52:09.080 --> 0:52:12.839
<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to hurt her ex's feelings, which is totally understandable.

0:52:12.840 --> 0:52:15.279
<v Speaker 1>But at the same time, you have to be cruel

0:52:15.320 --> 0:52:16.240
<v Speaker 1>to be kind, right.

0:52:16.200 --> 0:52:19.200
<v Speaker 2>And what do I say? The two strongest emotions for

0:52:19.280 --> 0:52:21.839
<v Speaker 2>humans are hope and fear, And he's got hope right now,

0:52:21.880 --> 0:52:30.920
<v Speaker 2>so you need to lost you, yeah, and getting to

0:52:30.960 --> 0:52:33.000
<v Speaker 2>move on or else he's not going to and you're

0:52:33.000 --> 0:52:34.799
<v Speaker 2>going to be stuck in this vicious circle that you're

0:52:34.840 --> 0:52:36.359
<v Speaker 2>in okay, Matt.

0:52:36.400 --> 0:52:37.720
<v Speaker 1>That's all we have time for.

0:52:37.920 --> 0:52:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for joining us. Guys. It was a good one.

0:52:40.360 --> 0:52:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I hope you've enjoyed it. Make sure you check

0:52:43.120 --> 0:52:46.120
<v Speaker 1>out all of our socials, our Facebook page. Let's have

0:52:46.160 --> 0:52:48.880
<v Speaker 1>more of a conversation about this episode there and until

0:52:48.920 --> 0:52:50.760
<v Speaker 1>next time, Bye bye.