1
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,440
Speaker 1: Hi everyone, it's CALLI here for this week's Mojo Monday.

2
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:17,080
Speaker 1: So I want to talk today about when we try

3
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,000
Speaker 1: to do too many things at once and the idea

4
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:26,239
Speaker 1: of competing values. So let me explain what I mean. So,

5
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:30,480
Speaker 1: most of us have values that really matter to us.

6
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,680
Speaker 1: They're things that matter to us deep in our heart.

7
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,800
Speaker 1: They're really really important, you know, things like being a

8
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:41,840
Speaker 1: present parent, or maybe it's being a good leader at work,

9
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,760
Speaker 1: or looking after our health or contributing to the community.

10
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,879
Speaker 1: And these are kind of like compass points that guide

11
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:55,440
Speaker 1: our lives. So when we're making decisions, these values are

12
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:59,400
Speaker 1: our compass that point us in the direction that we

13
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,160
Speaker 1: want to go towards the person that we want to be.

14
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:07,280
Speaker 1: But what can happen is that we have more than

15
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,600
Speaker 1: one value, so we have two values that we really

16
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:16,120
Speaker 1: care about that come into conflict. So for example, just

17
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:20,800
Speaker 1: say you are finishing a big project at work, or

18
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,960
Speaker 1: maybe it's some big assignment at work, and you want

19
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:29,040
Speaker 1: to really nail it because you value excellence and reliability,

20
00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:33,040
Speaker 1: for example. But at the same time, your teenager has

21
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,040
Speaker 1: been struggling and they've just asked you if you can

22
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,080
Speaker 1: hang out with them and do something with them after school,

23
00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:44,160
Speaker 1: so you value being there for them too. So now

24
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,679
Speaker 1: you're caught. So one part if he says, right, I've

25
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,000
Speaker 1: got to stay focused, I've got to meet this deadline

26
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,000
Speaker 1: of got to do a good job. And then this

27
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,640
Speaker 1: other part of you is like, you need to be

28
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,400
Speaker 1: a good parent, you need to be present with your kids,

29
00:01:56,440 --> 00:02:00,880
Speaker 1: and right now your teenager needs you. So this is

30
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,120
Speaker 1: where many of us get stuck. And that was just

31
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,520
Speaker 1: one example, but you might sound familiar to you in

32
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,040
Speaker 1: other areas of your life as well. And what can

33
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,919
Speaker 1: happen is guilt and stress and overthinking can sneak in.

34
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:21,200
Speaker 1: But the reality of life is that values will sometimes compete.

35
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,040
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean that you're bad at balancing life.

36
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,720
Speaker 1: It just means that you're human. So what can we

37
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:33,160
Speaker 1: do in this situation. Well, when values compete, we can't

38
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,640
Speaker 1: honor both of them. We know that, and we certainly

39
00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:40,239
Speaker 1: can't honor them perfectly in every moment, but we can

40
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:45,480
Speaker 1: respond intentionally, and that is key. So choosing the behavior

41
00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:49,640
Speaker 1: that best fits the context, not one that ticks the

42
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:54,040
Speaker 1: most boxes or makes everyone happy or avoids discomfort. So

43
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,560
Speaker 1: here are three steps that can really help to really

44
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,920
Speaker 1: recognize what the value is and name that values that

45
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,320
Speaker 1: are pulling you. You know, I value doing great work,

46
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:11,000
Speaker 1: I value excellence, I value being emotionally available to my family.

47
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,840
Speaker 1: And then check the context. What's the big picture right now?

48
00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:20,600
Speaker 1: What value needs your energy in this moment, not forever,

49
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,600
Speaker 1: but right now, And then you act in line with

50
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,560
Speaker 1: that chosen value, and knowing that the guilt is there,

51
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,200
Speaker 1: but not shining that flashlight of attention on that guilt

52
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,720
Speaker 1: because you're not portraying the other value. You're just making

53
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,960
Speaker 1: a conscious choice in this moment. And that's integrity, it's

54
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,160
Speaker 1: not failure. And here is the beautiful thing is when

55
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,760
Speaker 1: we live this way, we're not trying to do it

56
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,520
Speaker 1: at all. We're trying to do what matters with intention,

57
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,520
Speaker 1: one choice at a time. So you go into your week,

58
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,680
Speaker 1: just notice when your values are in different directions. You

59
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,400
Speaker 1: take a breath and pause and tune into that and

60
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,080
Speaker 1: really recognize and ask yourself, what is important to me

61
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:14,520
Speaker 1: in this moment? Why are these emotions showing up? What

62
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:19,160
Speaker 1: matters to me? And then you choose what fits the moment,

63
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,839
Speaker 1: Because your values don't really need to compete, they just

64
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:28,719
Speaker 1: need you to choose. So I hope that's helpful. Have

65
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,040
Speaker 1: a great week everyone, and I will catch you next week.

66
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:32,600
Speaker 1: See yeah,