1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 1: I think reality gets shut in a lot in media, right, 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: Like if as a reality data, everyone goes, oh fuck, 3 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: it's a lowest form television. 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,400 Speaker 2: And I have a few thoughts on that. 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: Obviously, there's all these conversations that can be had just 6 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,599 Speaker 1: from quote unquote stupid drama. So I think that the 7 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: consumer reality is amazing. I also think to be able 8 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: to make a reality show is incredibly difficult. 9 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 3: That is Abbi Chatfield, and this is better than yesterday, 10 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 3: making it better every single episode since twenty thirteen. My 11 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 3: names Osha Ginsberg. Thanks for being a part of the show. 12 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 3: It's Monday morning and what are you doing Monday morning? 13 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 2: You look at the highlights. 14 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,120 Speaker 3: You look at the highlights, maybe not football or the basketball, 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 3: but we're looking the podcast highlights today juicy bits from 16 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 3: an episode you might have missed, episode. 17 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 2: Five hundred and fifteen. 18 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 3: If you missed that one, you're in for a treat 19 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 3: because our guest on that day was the remarkable Abbi Chatfield. 20 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 2: You'll hear some of it today. 21 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 3: Abby is one of the most exciting figures in Australian media, 22 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 3: without a doubt, and she is just getting started. Trust 23 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 3: me on that. Abby and I spoke for this podcast 24 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 3: at the start of twenty twenty four. We've spoken since, 25 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, but we recorded a conversation that 26 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 3: started twenty twenty four, and when we did have that chat, 27 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 3: she was single. She was feeling quite hopeless about her 28 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 3: love life, and we got real about it. There were 29 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 3: tears today. When I look at Abby, She's in what 30 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 3: looks to be a great relationship. She's made a man 31 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 3: who helps her, who helps her feel very happy, but 32 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 3: when we spoke, she was a long way from that. 33 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,199 Speaker 3: So I asked her, what is it that she wants 34 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 3: in a relationship. 35 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 2: I don't know. 36 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: It's actually it's actually hard question for me to answer 37 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: because I used to really I might cry, but tears 38 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: get ticks. I used to always be really proud of 39 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: myself for still being able to get into relationships and 40 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: still love people fully after how other people had treated 41 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: me and after my childhood and all that. But like 42 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: the start of this year, for the first time ever, 43 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: I just don't think that I even have it in 44 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: me to even comprehend being happy with. 45 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 2: Someone really. 46 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: Wow, or like someone being nice to me, Oh you 47 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: do sorry, Like I just I think I'm just kind 48 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: of like, oh, there's no point trying anymore. So I 49 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: just don't even it's not even like a comprehension. But 50 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: I used to basically really proud that. I was like, look, 51 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: I can go to therapy and I can get through it, 52 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,920 Speaker 1: and I can still have capacity to trust people. And 53 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: I'm just suddenly just like so like not in working 54 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: order to even comprehend that. So I wouldn't even know. 55 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 2: Where to start with the list of things. 56 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:36,840 Speaker 3: Well, let's find that. 57 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 2: But just. 58 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 3: Trust me that it is possible. It's not like you're 59 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 3: a very special person, but you're not that special that 60 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 3: you're the only woman in the world who cannot find this. Okay, 61 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 3: Well fucking everyone eventually figures it out, do they though, 62 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 3: if they want to, if they want, if they realize 63 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 3: that there's a piece in their life by transcending the 64 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 3: shit that happened to them when they were younger and 65 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,920 Speaker 3: having a long hour look at themselves and long I 66 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 3: look at their part. And that part includes who they choose, 67 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:12,079 Speaker 3: and the part includes you know, ways it frame thing, 68 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 3: automatically framing things that they might not realize is happening. 69 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 3: It's work, it's work, but it's worth it, you know. 70 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it is a lot of work. 71 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: It's I think I'm just going through the like I've 72 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: hit rock bottom and I'm trying to go through the 73 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 1: healing part of it. 74 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 3: I'm going to call this, I'm going to call it. 75 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:33,359 Speaker 3: I wish I had a piece of a sarba cake 76 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 3: to put an extramation of pointing on them. 77 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 2: You can have something avite. 78 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 3: Well, I'm trying to guess how old you are? 79 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 2: You twenty night, twenty eight and a half bayit twenty nine? 80 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 3: All right, I will be marrying you by your thirty 81 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 3: third birthday. Three you reckon, before the age of thirty three, 82 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 3: you will have spent enough time with yourself and with someone, 83 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 3: and you will have got Oh man, this is fucking 84 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 3: heat you call Remember that podcast where you see You're 85 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 3: going to marry me? 86 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: I said, yeah, and we can play it at the well. 87 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 3: I don't care to talk about that, but you get 88 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 3: you get there, You get there because unfortunately, people understand 89 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 3: to change when the pain of saying the same becomes 90 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 3: more frightening than change. 91 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what's happened. I'm just I'm so sick 92 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: of doing this to myself. It's just it's just exhausting. 93 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: And boring and why am I putting myself with this 94 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: over and over again? 95 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 2: The main thing is I'm. 96 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: Like, this is so boring, these these men over and 97 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: over again that are just. 98 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 2: Not good for me. And I think the issue is what's. 99 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: Happened is I've now had it a bad relationship in 100 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: every way you possibly can have a bad relationship. 101 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 3: Boy, that's a lot, I think. So you've collected the 102 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:53,599 Speaker 3: whole set, whole set. 103 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 2: Which is really exciting, but you'll put it down. Yes. 104 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: Now, I'm like, even with this new crusher, I'm like, oh, 105 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: I'm actually frightened from every angle about if for some 106 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: reason we end people it won't but for some reason 107 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: ends up going well. See even that, I'm like, oh, 108 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: there's my point even thinking about it going well. But 109 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 1: if it goes well, I think at any moment you 110 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: could turn around and do something really fucked up to me, Like, like, 111 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 1: from any angle, well. 112 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 3: I certainly don't think you were alone in that experience. 113 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 2: And that's that's a lot of that's a lot of 114 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 2: self awareness. 115 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 3: There's a lot of understanding within yourself like ah, this 116 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 3: is that thing that might not belong in this relationship 117 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 3: I had. 118 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: I diated it someone really lovely last year but didn't 119 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: work out for whatever reason. 120 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 2: But I was trying to. 121 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 1: Be more aware because I was having this really big 122 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: because he was so nice that I was having these 123 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,359 Speaker 1: really big reactions of things that in the scheme for 124 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: how being treated before was so small. Like one time 125 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: he was forty minutes late to get from the airport. 126 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:56,039 Speaker 1: I was sobbing, like, which, I've had people ignore me 127 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: for five days and tell me they're going to go 128 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,280 Speaker 1: and kill themselves and then come back and go, what 129 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 1: are you talking about it? 130 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,480 Speaker 2: And say that, like, so I've had like and it's 131 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 2: like one of the many. 132 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 1: Things you know, I've gotten adds from boyfriends. 133 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. So then that was when I was twenty. 134 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: But it was actually good that I had the forty 135 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: minutes because I was so upset that he was me 136 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: forty minutes late, and I knew that it was irrational. 137 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: I was in there and I was like, I know, 138 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: this isn't rational to be this upset because it was 139 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: because he was. 140 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 2: Teaching kids something and. 141 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,280 Speaker 1: It was school holidays, and I was like, I know, 142 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: I'm not angry. I was like, but I'm feeling so 143 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 1: upset and I'm sobbing at the airport and I don't 144 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,280 Speaker 1: know why. And then I eventually was able to do 145 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 1: some somatic work and figure out where that upset was 146 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,279 Speaker 1: in my body. 147 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 2: And by the time the forty minutes was up and 148 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,360 Speaker 2: he was at. 149 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 1: The airport, I was still crying, but I was able 150 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: to explain to him. I was like, look, that actually 151 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: upset me, and it's because my ex would always ignore 152 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: me and forget. Also, my dad left when I was born, 153 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: So having all these abandonment issues as well and these 154 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: insability of men, I feel like you're proving You're now 155 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: showing to me that you are same as every other 156 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: manner of the dated. So that proves to me that 157 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: I should just probably get back on and planning about 158 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: to Sydney rather than being in Melbourne in alvious conversation, 159 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: And it ended up being one of the moments for 160 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: us really. 161 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 2: Way closer together. 162 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: And I was sobbing the whole car ride, but I 163 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: was able to actual deconstruct what I was feeling and 164 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: how I was and how much those things hurt me. 165 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 2: It was very healing knowing that. 166 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: And then he said, well, okay, well from now on 167 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: I will I will try my best never be late again. 168 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,440 Speaker 2: I can't promise it, but I know it's a trigger 169 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 2: for you, so I'm going to try harder. 170 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 3: One of the many projects that Abby is absolutely crushing 171 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 3: is her work as the host of f Boy Island. 172 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 3: If you haven't seen it, I recommend it is one 173 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,239 Speaker 3: of the most perfectly made reality shows that's ever been created, 174 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 3: and she at the time we recorded this, she was 175 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 3: just starting to film the most recent season, and I 176 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,239 Speaker 3: wanted to know how that made Abby feel. 177 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: I am giddy at the thought of going to work. 178 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: It's like I'm was shooting for a short amount of time. 179 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: I'm sad that it's only a short shoot, but it's 180 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: going to be so much fun. 181 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 2: It's so. 182 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 1: It's such a strange thing to have a borderline, not 183 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: that it's scripted, but it's it's obviously a heavily produced 184 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: heavily I mean the Limb the Limbros Is scripted. Having 185 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: such a strange format that is a comedy, satire, almost 186 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: scripted reality show. 187 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 2: It's such a it's the weirdest thing to be part 188 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 2: of it. 189 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, and the crew are the same crew as Bachelor, 190 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: so you know all of them and they're all the funniest. 191 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: They literally call me and I like giggle on the 192 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,559 Speaker 1: phone to them for half an hour about their silly 193 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: ideas for day. It's yea, And I'm so lucky to 194 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,680 Speaker 1: be a part of it because I think it's the 195 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 1: best show not only to be part of, but it's 196 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: the only show that I watch myself back on, Master Singer, 197 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: I can't watch yourself back on because. 198 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: I just Hey, also, we know what happens, so the 199 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 2: thrill there. It's nice to see what makes the cut. 200 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 2: It's a good point actually to see what to see what. 201 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,559 Speaker 3: They left a couple of Like, they left a couple 202 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 3: of things in the cut this time. I didn't think 203 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 3: they were. 204 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 2: Like your Miranda curve the cut. 205 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 3: They left it in the cut then, and they left 206 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:06,079 Speaker 3: it in the timing that it played out as well. 207 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 3: Oh really, it played out very similar timing to how 208 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 3: it actually happened. 209 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 2: That was great. It was beautiful. I think about that 210 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 2: probably once a week. I God, that was good for 211 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 2: my shot. It was good for you because you took it. 212 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 2: You took it in the way it was intended. It 213 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,080 Speaker 2: was so good. I wasn't trying to go but it was. 214 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 2: It was not to not jump that from you. It 215 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 2: was actually it was so amazing. Come from a place 216 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:33,400 Speaker 2: of love, come for places. Yeah, like yeah, you know, 217 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:33,959 Speaker 2: I'll tell you why. 218 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 3: The other reason I love it, and I think I 219 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 3: love it, there's maybe I don't know twenty people in 220 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 3: the world who get to love it the way that 221 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:43,839 Speaker 3: I love it, maybe less because I also I know you. 222 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 3: I know a number of the people who work on 223 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 3: it as camera operators and audio operators, and I also 224 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 3: know the creative editorial team behind it, and I know 225 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,720 Speaker 3: that I can see on screen it's like, oh. 226 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 2: Pete Dean is It's incredible. When he's done, he's amazing. 227 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 2: And Spence they're just artist, fucking artists. 228 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 3: And I think people quite get how incredibly difficult that 229 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 3: he is to be able to make a show like 230 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 3: that come out the way it is. You don't just 231 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 3: put hot people in a villa and start filming. It's 232 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 3: really difficult to make it become what it is. 233 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: I think reality gets shatter in a lot in media, 234 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: right Like if as a reality data, everyone goes, oh fuck, 235 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: it's a lowelles form television. 236 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 2: And I have a few thoughts on that. 237 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 3: Obviously, I have a twenty four our shopping channel that 238 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 3: I would have liked to introduce you to it. So 239 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 3: bear in mind I would fucking host a ship out 240 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 3: for twenty four shopping Channel and I fucking nail it, you. 241 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,599 Speaker 1: Revive it, you bring it back, it's watch all day. 242 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 2: So I feel like with the reality it's shut on 243 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 2: for a figure. 244 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 1: As a consumer, I think it's really valuable in the 245 00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: way that like pul Housewards for example, and Maths and Bachelor, 246 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: I think it's quite sexist to say that it's bullshit 247 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: because I think a lot of women are the main 248 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 1: participants and the main drama for the show often except 249 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 1: for in Bachelorette. But I also think that it's incredible 250 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: to figure out. 251 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 2: Who your friends are and if their values aligned with you. 252 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: So if you're both watching The Bachelor and something happens 253 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: like the dog Hunt saga for example, beautiful beautiful television, 254 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: I'm sure everyone be very excited. 255 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 2: Kids, Maybe it's fantastic such money Jesus fucking Grist. 256 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: I mean, I want to say, wrong move from me, 257 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: but probably the right move. But so like with that, 258 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: for example, watching at home, if you're seeing that, you 259 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: can have a discussion with your friends even the next day, 260 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 1: you're saying, would you have dobbed? 261 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 3: Like? 262 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 2: Would you have told someone that someone was calling you 263 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 2: a dog? Cunt? 264 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 1: Like? 265 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,439 Speaker 2: And I think it creates all these conversations like. 266 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: In Real Housewives, one of the housewives, Erica, her husband 267 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 1: was scamming people. Basically, he was a He took money 268 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,199 Speaker 1: from orphans and widows that died in the plane. 269 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 3: Look, if you're going to take money, if that's the 270 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,719 Speaker 3: group you want to take back going to Aim for 271 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 3: the Stars, Reach for the Moon, Hit for the Stars. 272 00:12:07,559 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: He was imitted and it was a huge The whole 273 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 1: season was conversations around whether she is liable for his 274 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: actions as what well she also had been benefiting with 275 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,199 Speaker 1: the money and being living a lifestyle, And it's a 276 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: conversation around like, if you're married to someone, are you 277 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:22,719 Speaker 1: as bad of. 278 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 2: A person as that person? Is she an idiot for 279 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 2: having no idea about the finances? Or is she. 280 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,559 Speaker 1: Manipulative and a villain because she did know? Like those 281 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 1: are the two options. And it was a whole conversation 282 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,679 Speaker 1: around like as well, like women taking on their husband's 283 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 1: actions whereas men don't really have the same thing with it, Like. 284 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 2: There's all these conversations that can be had just. 285 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: From quote unquote stupid drama. So I think that the 286 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,559 Speaker 1: consumer reality is amazing. I also think to be able 287 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: to make a reality show is incredibly difficult. 288 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,440 Speaker 2: From casting to cast the right people. 289 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: You could have if you had like twenty knees in 290 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: a room, it would be it would make no fucking sense. 291 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,040 Speaker 1: Like you have to have not just people who are interesting, 292 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 1: but also people that are able to like have that 293 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: have that personality projected onto them and will react in 294 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: a certain way. You have to almost kind of like 295 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: curate like. 296 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 2: A Petri dish of people to create. 297 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,800 Speaker 3: For every person that is you that gets cast, there 298 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 3: needs one person to your side who makes you you're 299 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 3: you more you. And there needs another person that side 300 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,680 Speaker 3: who will bring out something that you never show. Yes, 301 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 3: and you have that there be the vulnerability. It might 302 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,440 Speaker 3: be upset, who knows, but it needs there has to 303 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 3: be another person in there who will get you to 304 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 3: do a thing you otherwise, you know, push you outside 305 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 3: of the version of you that is the public version 306 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 3: of you. And it is all for the purpose of 307 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 3: the final result, and that is to you know, fast 308 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 3: track with the discovery that needs to go on for 309 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,599 Speaker 3: a lasting relationship to take place in a quite a 310 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 3: shorter time out of time. 311 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,839 Speaker 1: Even that element on dating show, this is the thing 312 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,560 Speaker 1: it isn't Bachelor especially isn't just about drama. There's also 313 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: the element of having to try and curate relationships together, 314 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:10,679 Speaker 1: like matchmaking someone. 315 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 2: And I just think the reality gets shut. 316 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 1: On all way too much because I think that it's 317 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 1: actually obviously haven't done drama and actors are amazing, and 318 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: it's incredibly difficult to create a good reality show. 319 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 3: And that is a fact that I can attest to. 320 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 3: We need to play some ads. We're back in a moment. 321 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 3: If there is one thing that Abby Chatfield has in abundance, 322 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 3: it is possibility. She's very open to new ideas, but 323 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 3: she's also very calculated. She does a lot of homework, 324 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 3: and when she executes, she does it with all rockets firing. 325 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 3: And this is why her success looks like it does. 326 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 3: I've had a front row seat to watching this woman 327 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 3: become what she is and where she's going. Between her 328 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,320 Speaker 3: podcast work, the TV hosting, numerous other businesses that she's 329 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 3: involved in them she started. She's kicking heaps of goals. 330 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 3: But even with all the right things in play, sometimes 331 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 3: even the best ideas don't work. So I'm quite grateful 332 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 3: that she was open to discussing her thoughts on what 333 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 3: happens when the clothing brand that she started didn't play 334 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 3: out the way she thought it was going to play out. 335 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 1: I feel like though both the clothing brand my sister 336 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: was designing it, so I kind of with that, and 337 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,600 Speaker 1: that's why it also didn't quite work with my schedule, 338 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: was because it was my sister's passion and then I 339 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: was so busy. What I've discovered is my passion is 340 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: actually media and hosting and podcasting and producing and you know, 341 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 1: maybe writing in the future. 342 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 2: So I think with that it was kind of like, Okay, 343 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 2: it wasn't. 344 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: A very well fought through plan, except for like I 345 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: happening to start this, my sister can do this, I 346 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: have business partners, and off we go, and that's fine. 347 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: I think where that went wrong was that I got 348 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: burnout from it because I wasn't passionate about it. I 349 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: think with ADHD, you can do I can film for 350 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: seventeen hours in a row of fifteen hours in a 351 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 1: row every day for weeks, get up six being radio 352 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 1: and podcasting, and then go on set and I'm like 353 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: a bit tired, but I'm not losing my mind. And 354 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: then as soon as I get something that I'm not 355 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:24,400 Speaker 1: obsessed with a hyper fixating on, then it will burn 356 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,040 Speaker 1: me the fuck out. 357 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 2: That'll be the thing that's sent me of the edge. 358 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,520 Speaker 1: So what I did with that was not take that 359 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: into account, and therefore the burner happened really easily, really quickly. 360 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 2: It was making money. 361 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 1: I could have kept going, we were selling out everything, 362 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 1: but I just needed to I need to stop. 363 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 2: So what my I guess I didn't have a process 364 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 2: in the past, and now I process. 365 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 1: Is more like, if everything else went away, could I 366 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: do this by itself? 367 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 2: Do I care enough about this thing by itself? And 368 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 2: I think when it comes down to it, all I 369 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,400 Speaker 2: really care about is doing what I already do. So 370 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 2: now I need to put on my energy into what 371 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 2: I'm already doing. 372 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 1: And maybe that's more podcasting, but that would be I 373 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: guess I have a few podcast ideas. I loved your 374 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 1: twenty four ideas because honestly, I. 375 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 2: Was like, this is literally my brain these ideas. I go, 376 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 2: that'd be great. Never gonna do it, but that would 377 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 2: be great. 378 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,679 Speaker 3: Tell me I've never started a business with anybody in 379 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 3: my family. I work with my brother a little bit. 380 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 3: But how did that play out? Because I know plenty 381 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 3: of people listening would be in business with you know. 382 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was my sister and I've always got along. 383 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 1: But the issue was that it was a lot of 384 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: pressure to be not supporting her because she was working, 385 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 1: but like to be like when I was like, we 386 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,719 Speaker 1: can't do this anymore, it was a lot of like 387 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: I felt really guilty for letting her down because she'd 388 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: moved to Sydney to do it. From her visa endine 389 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: in London, she came back to Australia and when she 390 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: was between Sydney and Melbourne, I was like, moved to Sydney, 391 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 1: you can work for this thing that I'm starting. 392 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 2: But did you figure it out? 393 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 3: Like was Christmas? 394 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 2: Okay? Oh we're so fine. 395 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like we didn't have fights, like literally she 396 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: was like, oh, Abby and I go. 397 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 2: Our fights are literally there's Abby and I go. So 398 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 2: that's kind of fight. 399 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 3: That's what That's what I was kind of. Yeah, no, 400 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 3: that sort of thing people learn't talk for twenty years. 401 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, if it goes My family is very like you 402 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,280 Speaker 1: know how your family's find about wills and stuff like 403 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: doing weird shit like that, Like my family's just. 404 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 2: So, not like like we're just so because my grandma 405 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 2: was an orphan. 406 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 1: So I think that maybe we're just instilled in us 407 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: never fight with your family anything stupid, you know what 408 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 1: I mean. 409 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think that it was like we obviously 410 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 2: have fights because they we're human. 411 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 1: It's mainly political, to be honest, it's mainly like political differences. 412 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,120 Speaker 2: It's not really and then we go anyway, like we're 413 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:49,880 Speaker 2: screaming at. 414 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: Christmas and then be like anyway, That's why I got 415 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: my political interests from actually moment I had a fight 416 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: over Christmas, even a fight. 417 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,439 Speaker 2: It was like, it's like a debate. 418 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 1: It's an aggressive debate, ye with your mum, so you 419 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,360 Speaker 1: can say shut the fuck up, you know. And after it, 420 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 1: after we'd said sorry and love for you, that was 421 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 1: silly to have a huge fight about kind of was thinking. 422 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 2: I was like, this is why I'm so good at debating. 423 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 4: It's I've been sharpening my skills since I was four 424 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 4: years old about how to get what I want, about 425 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 4: about how to properly have an argument that is going 426 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 4: to get through to a baby boomer about different pical issues. 427 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,160 Speaker 2: But so, yeah, my family don't really fight about those things. 428 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: But the butt plug, that's what I'm passionate. 429 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 3: But this is wonderful. Yeah, to have passionate about something, 430 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,360 Speaker 3: it's important. You've got to have a purpose. You've got 431 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 3: to have a purpose, and if that purpose is helping 432 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 3: people have some pleasure, then that's okay. 433 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 2: Exactly, so I realized. So in contrast to the clothing, 434 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 2: the butt plug a line. Okay, it works for a 435 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:52,280 Speaker 2: few reasons. 436 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: Well, it physically works, but it works because it aligns 437 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,880 Speaker 1: with what I actually like, enjoy speaking about and enjoy doing. 438 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 1: I enjoy making content about and enjoy educating people on, 439 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: and also what I enjoy learning about. So even in 440 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: this process, it was created with a sex therapist, Georgia Grace, 441 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: as well us doing education and me learning things from her, 442 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,439 Speaker 1: even on set while we were taking photos of the 443 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:17,520 Speaker 1: thing that we've created together. 444 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 2: And it also works because it aligns with my brand. 445 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 3: That's just a tiny little snippet a taste of how 446 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 3: this incredibly inspirational woman goes through life. We spoke for 447 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 3: a while and we cover a lot. We talked about 448 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 3: mental health, her career, the trajectory that she's on, and 449 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 3: I make a bold prediction. I throw out a vision 450 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 3: that I have for her at thirty three. So far 451 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,440 Speaker 3: it's looking pretty good. Scroll back to episode five hundred 452 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 3: and fifteen to hear the whole chat. Thank you so 453 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 3: much for listening. If you like this, please tell a friend. 454 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,480 Speaker 3: If you want to get a touch, just simply clicking 455 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 3: the link in the show notes. Osha Ginsburg got substack 456 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,399 Speaker 3: dot com. That's where I'm putting a lot more writing 457 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 3: at the moment, as also all the updates about live 458 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 3: gigs and things like that, of which they're There are 459 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,959 Speaker 3: many on the way, including story Club, the Triumphant Return 460 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 3: the story Club. Thanks to everyone that helped me make 461 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 3: this show. Abby Bano's my executive producer. Audio post production 462 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 3: by the great and powerful Andy Maer DEXIAD did all 463 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 3: the video posts. Mike Mills aka Towhider made the music, 464 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 3: and my executive function assistant is spectacularly talented Monica Chapman, 465 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 3: who can tetris the calendar better than the tetris person. 466 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 2: She's the best. 467 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,920 Speaker 3: Thanks for being a part of it. See you Wednesday.