WEBVTT - Ex-Commando Damien Thomlinson on Surviving an IED Attack 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:03.400 We'd like to acknowledge that traditional custodians of the land 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:06.840 on which this podcast was produced the Gadigel people of 0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:10.440 the orination. We pay our respects to Elder's past and present. 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:15.480 This episode contains discussion of suicide. If this raises any 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.400 issues for you, support is available through the links and 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:20.040 phone numbers in the show notes. 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:25.200 It's April two thousand and nine and we're in southern Afghanistan. 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.280 Twenty eight year old Damien Tomlinson is here with the 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:31.680 Australian Defense Force. 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:33.440 He's here. 0:00:33.760 --> 0:00:35.279 He's made it, just four. 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:39.400 Years after ticking off his goal becoming a commando. This 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:43.440 elite group is tasked with the most physically demanding, mentally 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:49.280 challenging and dangerous roles in the armed forces. He's working 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:53.160 a night patrol when his unit drive over a Taliban 0:00:53.280 --> 0:01:00.080 ied The bomb explodes, leaving Damien fighting for his life. 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:03.400 He loses both of his legs and doctors say it's 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:09.360 a miracle he wasn't killed. I'm Ad Middleton and this 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:15.160 is head Game today, Damian Tomlinson with his extraordinary story 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:23.280 of reclaiming his life on his own terms. Damian Tomlinson, 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:25.720 it's an absolute pleasure to have you on my podcast 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.800 head Game. It's an honor to speak with one of 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:32.760 my own former Australian Defense Force two commando an elite 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:37.319 soldier tours of Afghanistan right up my street. I know 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.040 that we're going to get on like a house on fire. 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.679 Talk to me about your childhood and your upbringing. Were 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:47.640 there any military roots for you to be pushed down 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:49.680 when you were young or did you just decide right, 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:51.520 I'm going to join the military at a young age 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.360 and you just cracked on or was there an influence 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:54.880 in your life? 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:55.880 Where did that all start? 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.440 Well? So I grew up a an hour and a 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:04.400 half Sydney, a place in the central Coast called terrible 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:07.240 for those that are in Australia, those that aren't lovely 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:12.120 place to visit, not to stuff out. And I don't know, 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:14.239 I didn't feel like there was a lot of opportunity. 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.639 I didn't feel to inspire. But also sort of I 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:22.480 like got confused a little bit between my passion and 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.680 my hobby. You know, sport was a hobby as opposed 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:28.720 to being like a passion or something that I should 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:34.160 find to really work towards and in strive at. And 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:38.959 I just had the moment I think where I'd gone through, 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:42.079 made a couple of bad decisions. You know, I had 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.040 a good group of friends, I had really support a 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.920 group of people around me, but I sort of just 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.240 made choices that I think, you know, you get, you know, 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:50.760 you kind of want to go against the grain a 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.120 little when you're young, kind of like I'm going to 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.760 do my own thing, and then realize that the further 0:02:56.840 --> 0:03:00.880 on you get, you know, you make the people around 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:03.519 you that have got you know, sixty plus years experience 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:05.960 a right and that's. 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.200 That rebellious side that we all have until it's not down. Yeah, 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.600 it's got to get now to you somehow. 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:15.720 And the really good influence in my life's always been 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:16.160 my dad. 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:19.359 You know, He's always been great for me. But here 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.160 are growing up, but we're very different people. You know, 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:26.040 we got totally different skill sets. Like the things that 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:28.839 I go really well out at school and saw as 0:03:28.919 --> 0:03:32.080 really easy things to do, you know, I saw him 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:35.920 as simple. He then saw like they were to him, 0:03:35.920 --> 0:03:37.800 they were the bits that took a lot of effort. 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:41.120 So he'd gone through getting his masters in applied science, 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:45.040 and to me, I was making physics feel easy. So 0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:47.680 it was that that sort of thing, but then not 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.240 putting the effort. I just didn't apply myself to anything, 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.640 which I mean now I look back at kind of 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.640 it frustrates me because that's the only like sort of 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.040 what if, Like it was in me that I wanted. 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.520 Something that was bigger, you know, like I thought I could. 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.400 I don't know, I always thought, like I've I you 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:08.920 can call the delusion to grandeur, but it doesn't matter 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.080 what room I walk into a way as shoom I can. 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:12.120 Belong there, you know what I mean. 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.640 And let's face it, a majority of the rooms that 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:16.440 you walk into, as long as you look like you 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:18.640 should be there and have an attitude like you should 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:20.040 be there, no one's going to ask you a way. 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:23.280 There, so it could meet in effect, right, Yeah, it's just. 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.960 Like just just walk into it with a quiet confidence 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:27.960 that if the guy asks you a question about why 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.200 you're there, he's going to get escorted out. And I'd 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:34.280 always I always got to add that, but it was 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:38.080 it was more and more it was getting reinforced that 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:41.159 it was totally unjustified, you know, like I just hadn't 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:43.119 proven it. I hadn't proven I didn't have the runs 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:46.359 on the board, and I remember going to him after 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.640 like him a few of his prophecies about me being 0:04:50.640 --> 0:04:53.320 a laborer and doing whatever coming true. 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:54.920 I remember going and speaking to. 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.760 Him about it and tell me your story about wanting 0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:00.680 to be an architect and that he didn't have the 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:05.560 right mass scores and you know you master's degree and 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:06.320 applied science. 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.320 There's mass involved, you know what I mean. 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:11.120 So and then he sort of finished it by going 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:12.440 and see, no one can tell you what you want 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:16.760 to do. I was like, okay, so what what should 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:22.800 I do? Just absolute crickets. There was nothing in the room. 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:24.720 You know, we had just at this moment of like 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:28.719 looking at each other. You know, when you've known something 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:32.720 all along, you just haven't wanted to face it. I 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:35.120 think that was the moment where I decided, right now 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:39.240 is my time to to really like to face this one, 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.239 you know, to make some form of difference. 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:45.400 And step up or to step forward, Yeah. 0:05:45.360 --> 0:05:46.800 To give to you to really do it. 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.159 I don't know. I like, I look at who I 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:53.359 was before this next moment, and you know, it was 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:55.279 really easy to it was. It was easy for me 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:57.599 to go, oh, that's just not for me, you know, 0:05:58.279 --> 0:06:00.880 you know, it's just not my thing. Well, I'll find 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:05.520 something else, like all just a quita's mentality. And I 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:08.280 remember when I went into the computer, I was too 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:10.479 ashamed of use dad, so I used mums in the 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:12.680 study and went in and sat down at it. And 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:16.039 there's this really cool picture of my granddad eighty three 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:18.240 rats that are Brooks thing with his rack of metals. 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:21.680 It's a little grin on his face. And I just 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:23.680 looked at it and I was so proud, And then 0:06:23.800 --> 0:06:27.719 in the next second I was just super ashamed, you know, 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:31.840 like I had done nothing that was even remotely close 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:34.599 to being worthy. You know those people who they go 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:36.400 who would you speak to if you had the chance 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:38.919 that was two thousand and one had happened. 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:39.599 This is in two. 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:42.920 Thousand and three, I think late two thousand and three, 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:45.359 And I thought, like, if I had the chance to 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:46.839 talk to him, what am I going to talk about? 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.760 You know, like, what am I gonna? I can't really 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:53.080 impress him with scoring at first grade hundred. I mean, 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.600 like that's not it really doesn't make it, you know, 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:58.599 it's not the type of I don't know. 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:00.280 I just felt like, sosh. 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:01.919 You feel feel a bit worthless? 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.640 Yeah, well, I think so like, and I think it 0:07:04.680 --> 0:07:07.919 was sort of like as well, you know, I'd like 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:12.120 to believe I'm pretty overwhelmingly positive person, you know, like 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:15.560 I tend to believe the positive thing regardless of how 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:20.080 bad the circumstances in front of me is. And there 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.480 was more and more evidence that it was mounting that 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.760 I was really wrong, you know, like that I was, yeah, 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:28.960 that I was the person who And this is the 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:31.760 funny thing, like it took what happened later for me 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:37.119 to understand that all of that was happening inside my head. 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:41.760 None of it reflected reality, you know, like I don't 0:07:41.800 --> 0:07:42.760 know what someone's. 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:44.960 Opinion of me is and I don't care, and I 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:47.720 shouldn't have then, you know, like I was premeditating what 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:51.800 strangers I was working for thought or something of the sort. 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:53.960 When it was, you know, all of it was just 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:57.880 happening internally. So I looked at the looked at the computer. 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:02.600 There was a Special Forces direct recruiting scheme and at 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:06.280 that thing, I literally remember looking at the screen. Four 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:09.440 guys they're on rotation wonder Afghanistan, I find out later, 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:13.360 just walking away from the screen, like just picture of 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:17.320 their backs, and I was like that's it. That will 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:21.080 prove everyone who's said the thing like this. Not everyone 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.840 can do that. But I'm going to keep going until 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:25.280 it's done. 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.000 See that's what I love about you, Damen, is that 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.240 you looked at that and you didn't choose just an option. 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:38.560 You chose the hardest option, the most elite option, and 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.679 you just decided to jump in the deep end. How 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:44.480 did you get on? Did you did you struggle? Were 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:48.000 you treading water? Or did you thrive in that environment? 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:51.880 I quite liked it, Like, I mean, part of it 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.440 was me. You know, you're kind of like, you know, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.559 it's going to be hard, like it belt everyone. If 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:59.319 anyone ever says, oh, special Forces, the selection didn't belt me, 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.719 you're like, cool, I've never done it. 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:04.880 It's it's just one of those things. 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.200 But I think just like accepting the fact that it's 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.280 going to be really difficult and it's going to stretch, 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:13.320 Like I enjoyed the fact that every single thing that 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:15.040 I did was something that you can be proud of, 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:19.080 you know, like I wasn't and if you didn't, like 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.720 it's one of those no lose situations because if you're 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:23.760 not perfect that at the first time, it's harder than 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:25.319 anything else you've ever done in your life. 0:09:26.240 --> 0:09:28.120 You don't have to be perfect that at first go. 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:32.000 It's the effort of trying to like maintain, like build 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:35.480 and maintain those standards the entire way through your career, 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:37.680 which makes the difference, you know, when you start seeing 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:40.080 those small bits of progress. And I just learned it 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:44.000 was just this like positive reinforcing style thing. And I mean, 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:48.400 you know, it's it's obviously it's passable. It's doable, you know, and. 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.560 They're looking for for attributes, which I think Team Sport 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:56.240 sets you up for, you know. I mean part of 0:09:56.280 --> 0:10:00.280 it is like just for me, there was no way 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:01.760 that I was ever no matter. 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:04.040 How much it hurt. That's what a special force to 0:10:04.080 --> 0:10:06.600 soldier has to go through. To me, that was it. 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.800 That's like it's turning up every day committing every day 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:13.880 I sacrifice. People don't realize the sacrifice. And when I 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:16.040 say sacrifice, I mean personal sacrifice. 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.240 Yeah, And I mean the reality of that, the realities 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:22.640 that you faced during it. Like it's I remember I 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:26.600 was pretty like lucky when I did it. The only 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.959 person who you know, I was looking out for this 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:34.200 stage was me, So like I can't I still blows 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.720 my mind now because I've got a family now and 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:39.360 I love them more than anything. But I didn't have 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:41.080 at that stage. I didn't have a girlfriend, I didn't 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:44.720 have kids. There was just me in this battle of 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:47.160 going okay, cool, I've got it, like I got to 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.959 turn up here, and like some of the things are 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:55.600 such like gifts to the way that you handle adversity 0:10:55.679 --> 0:10:57.920 because you've got no choice at the time. It's a 0:10:57.960 --> 0:11:01.200 controlled environment, right, so you know you're not to like die. 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:04.160 If you do, you're pretty unlucky. But I remember like 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:06.040 doing things like on our hands. Of course we did 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:08.440 it and it was freezing cold. We've done this mud 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:12.720 run at five in the morning. Everyone had steam off them, 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:16.440 like mud and steam. It was down in Melbourne, which 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:19.360 is like Australia cold. It's not UK cold, but it's 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.240 you know, so sort of cold. We're getting closest to 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:25.880 the zeros and the water just oh god. I remember 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.920 the dad has jumping the water. Straight after it, we 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.160 get out and they go all right, go draw yourself off. 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:34.640 You know, you've got an unachievable time to get back 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:35.600 in that room ready to. 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:36.319 Start your lessons. 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:38.960 So everyone's like, ah, you know, you're run it, you're 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:40.880 doing all your different stuff and you're standing out there 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:42.160 and you're ready to go in and they. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.960 Said, why are you guys dry? Get in the water. 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:50.120 And you're like, all right, bag there's and then back 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:52.000 out of the water, straight into the license trying to 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:57.280 like write what you yeah, just everything wet, going oh 0:11:57.320 --> 0:11:59.160 my god, like why trying. 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.280 To retain the information that you've you thought it and 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:01.959 out in it. 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:06.840 Like you don't get those sort of chances to stretch 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:10.439 yourself in many places, you. 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:12.120 Know what I mean, normal walks of life. 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:13.839 There's no way in a million years you get pushed 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.880 outside of your comfort zone like that not a chance. 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:17.880 And how did you feel when you passed selection? What 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.720 was your moment like when you got when you passed 0:12:21.120 --> 0:12:22.040 your selection process? 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:26.640 It was this was like probably the most relief I've 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:28.080 felt in ages. 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:28.959 Now you're sitting in this. 0:12:29.000 --> 0:12:33.800 Room and you know, part of building tension is, you know, 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.080 sensory deprivation, you know what I mean. So it's just 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:38.880 sitting in silence while something you feel like it should 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.559 be happening. You learn that should is a word that 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:42.200 you can leave. 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.640 Out of your vocabulary. It's pointless. 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:47.520 But I remember sitting in there and they're counting names 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:50.920 off and there's good operators standing up, walking out of 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:52.520 the room, and then you're sort of looking back at 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:58.080 who's left, going ah, he fell asleep doing this. I 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.560 made a mistake on that this guy did this. That 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:05.640 guy was awesome, but could complain a bit like you know, 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:07.560 you had all these little bits that you sort of 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:09.600 looking at it, and you didn't you genuinely didn't know. 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.320 I remember Hans Fleer, he's a legend of the Australian 0:13:13.360 --> 0:13:17.560 Special Forces, was doing his reading is what we've done, 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:19.760 and this is the you know, as we know the 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.319 Special Force selection course and blah blah blah, and this 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:25.360 is that went through it and then go and it's 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:28.240 my pleasure to say that the attributes that I've just 0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:32.520 listed all of your men possess. Congratulations blah blah blah. 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.800 And I remember like, ah. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:43.320 It's it's indescribable, I think, because and that's at that 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:47.320 mean that moment, it wasn't about everyone else. It was 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:50.880 just like to me, it was me getting across the 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.640 line for me a bit, if that makes sense. And 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:57.800 I started to realize like, okay, so you've now proven 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:01.760 yourself because you start to this task, you stayed with it, 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:04.480 and now you know you've come out the other end. 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.560 And I remember ringing, Mum, she was just over the moon. 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:08.880 You know, both the folks were. They thought it was great. 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:11.120 Like every time that's me, you could see that was 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.400 so proud and it meant something. And the more the 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.760 further I went through my career, you learn just wearing 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:20.080 the flag is such an honor, you know. Like then 0:14:21.080 --> 0:14:24.680 like everyone's just walking the same direction, you know, for 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.240 the same goal. And for you to achieve that goal, 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:29.720 everyone around you has to be good. Does that saying 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.080 you know your can or doesn't burn brighter if you 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:34.600 burn the blow the one next to you out. The 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:36.480 military's job is to light up a room. So if 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.240 you're the type of character that blows a candle out, 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:41.720 you're not wanted, you know what I mean, Like pack 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:45.480 your bags and go home. So and like I remember 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:51.120 like having my expectations changed, I think because you don't 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.400 know what to expect. You know, you've got guys all 0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:57.840 shape sizes, building, we got guys with degrees, and you 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:00.880 know you've got guys who were tradesmen. You've guys who've 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.760 just chosen that path, you know, and then you've got 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:05.160 guys like me who sort of thought it was their 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.560 last chance, which now I look back, it's wild because 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:10.520 I was like twenty four. 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.640 It is insane right now You've got that pros and 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:16.920 that mindset, and but ultimately, is that mindset that pushed 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:22.479 you into something as extreme and as elite as the Commandos? 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:22.680 Right? 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:22.960 Yeah? 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.600 Well I think it, and it almost it had to be, 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.280 I think, you know, I just don't think it would 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:32.320 have been fulfilling if it wasn't, you know what I mean? Like, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:34.760 it's you get that I've noticed this, and would you 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.280 would have noticed this? With as your career progressed as well, 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.880 you meet a lot of people that have achieved enormous amounts, 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:44.960 are wildly successful, amazing what they do, and they're all 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.080 really cool. 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:48.240 You know what I mean, Like none of them. 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:50.920 You just like, how is this guy doing everything so 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:54.520 amazingly effortlessly? And the only thing I can put it 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.680 down to is because they found something that is their 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:58.840 passion that they've got nothing to prove. 0:15:59.320 --> 0:15:59.920 Yeah, that's right. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:01.720 They have scored the runs. They don't have to worry 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:02.080 about it. 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:03.760 And I don't know what it's like for the Aussie 0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:07.160 Defense Force, but where I stepped up from the Marines 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:10.760 into a special Forces role, it's like, wow, the responsibility 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.240 you're taking on different roles and you know, more responsible 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.440 roles and roles that are just like giving you to 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:18.320 go right, We don't want to know what goes on, 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.280 just go get the job done. 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:21.000 You just do it. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:23.040 Have to be able to do it unsupervised, and you 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:25.120 don't need orders to do it like you kind of 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:27.720 expected to know what to do with it or to 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:29.440 work it out, you know what I mean, And to 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.440 do it in a way where it's you could have 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:35.400 the highest ranking official in the military watching you the 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:36.920 whole time, you. 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:38.480 Know what I mean. That's the level of trust. 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.720 And I found that like really empowering when we're going 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:42.600 through the cycles. 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:44.680 But also it lifts your game, you know what I mean. 0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.440 You hang out with people who have similar interests and 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:50.320 who are all striving to be better, your game just lifts, 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:53.080 you know what I mean, Your attitude changes. It's something 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:56.320 that you know it's and that's one of the things 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.840 that that world sort of does. But when I first 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.640 got there was just too I was I'm still young. 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:03.040 You know, I still had plenty of. 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:05.560 Young naive keen. You know, yeah, you. 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:07.880 Think you think it's the toughest guy. You know, you're 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:09.480 in a thing that's going to ask a lot of 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.680 you when it comes to combat. So I've got to 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:15.120 be ready to We've all got to be ready type thing. 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.919 And you're like, it's not that, It's like EQ is 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.800 the new tough. You've now got to know how to 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:25.480 control your emotions and use them effectively in each environment, 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:28.479 which I think is that alpha plus mindset is like, 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:30.600 you know, you've got to be willing to go there, 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:33.680 but you've also got to have the intelligence to know 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:37.680 when you have to go there, because like most people 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.439 that you can see that will go there, there's like 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:42.520 one time in a thousand that you might need to. 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:45.439 And also I think what's super powerful about you know, 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:50.240 emotional intelligence is when positive people around you take charge 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:52.359 of your emotions, you know, to push you through that 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:54.560 door to get you, you know, the other side of 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:59.680 where you need to be. But also being emotionally intelligent 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:03.639 enough to realize when someone else is struggling emotionally and 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.760 you come along and you you you help them, you know, 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:10.640 Harness that emotion to achieve whatever's in front of you. God, 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.800 that's when trust. That's when a bond takes place. That's when, 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:17.760 I truly believe when emotional intelligence is fused, that's when 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:19.920 you start you can really trust that person. Well, I've 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:23.200 let that person or that person's taking control of my emotions. 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.320 There's that bond, there's that trust bang is sealed. 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:27.800 Yeah, yeah, they're in there. 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:29.720 And I mean, like I think a big hurdle for 0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:33.080 me when it came to that was it's almost like 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:35.320 as a person, I'd changed before I was going in, 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:36.679 and I'd accepted that change. 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:40.480 I was now going to be Damian the soldier, you know. 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:43.520 And then and that guy had to be tough, you know, 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:45.440 he had to have all these different attribu We had 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:47.520 to do all the things that made that which just 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:49.880 you know, it's you're just kind of wearing a mask 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:50.440 the whole time. 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.320 And I think it was a defense mechanism, isn't it? 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:52.640 Yeah? 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:56.520 Essentially? And I was I mean, the fans is probably. 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.359 Putting on your body armor, You're putting on your mask. 0:18:58.440 --> 0:18:59.960 You yeah, ready to go. 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:01.880 But like I learned when we were we were on 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:07.119 my first apply, second deployment. We've done a little to Fiji, 0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:11.480 but I was on my deployment to each team or 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:14.880 and I just kind of got tired of the tough thing, 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:19.880 you know. When we It's ease team was gorgeous. It's 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:22.960 in Indonesian Island, just north of Australia, coral refall around it. 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:27.000 We were doing a pretty pedestrian like peacekeeping, tight style job, 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.600 so we're just working out a lot. It was near 0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:32.640 a beach, and I kind of I slipped back into 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:36.040 just being the surfer from the Central Coast. Like that's 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:38.879 I stopped talking in a military way. I started just 0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:41.240 unless I needed to. You know, you obviously got to 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:43.960