WEBVTT - The disturbing trend we need to shut down... 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.560 Welcome back to another episode of Sugar Mamma's Fireplay. I 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:06.960 am your host financial planner Canna Campbell, and today I 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:09.320 want to talk to you about a concerning trend that 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:12.840 is currently circulating on social media right now. That is 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:16.520 the idea that a single woman should find a financial 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:22.040 provider if they want realistic financial security in their lives. Now, 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:25.880 my blood is actually boiling right now, and my heart 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:29.440 is racing at the thought of this and how absolutely 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.720 disgusting and degrading this is. But just to give you 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.440 a bit of a background, this trend is actually suggesting 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:40.280 that women should rely on a partner for financial stability, 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:46.640 even going as far as giving tips, instructions and traps 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:50.640 and even tests as to how to achieve it. That is, 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:55.560 how to find the perfect financial provider. Now, as someone 0:00:55.600 --> 0:01:00.800 who has dedicated my entire working life to help and 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:05.959 that is everyday people achieve financial independence security, I find 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:12.000 this trend deeply troubling and deeply troubling for so many 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:16.600 different reasons that I feel that we have to break 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:20.440 this down and discuss this further. So whilst I just 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:23.640 catch my breath, let my heart rate calm down, and 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:27.280 hopefully let my blood pressure reduce. Let's take a quick 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:40.680 ten second break with some music before we begin. All right, 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:44.600 deep breaths, canna. Okay, apologies for my passion here, but 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:48.440 I just am beside myself that this is actually something 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:53.800 that's being entertained. So first and foremost, let's talk about 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:57.400 the pride and the satisfaction that comes from working on 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:01.400 your own financial goals, your own financial goals that are 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:06.760 focused around building your own financial freedom and independence. There 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:10.440 is an incredible sense of accomplishment that comes from earning 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:15.520 your own money, managing your own finances, taking control and 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:18.799 deciding where you would like to invest and what financial 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.280 goals are important to you, and when you like to 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:25.320 achieve those financial goals. And then of course, proudly, and 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.519 I say proudly because this is so important. It is 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:29.919 not until you start doing it you actually feel how 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:33.400 valuable that sense of priety is. Watching your wealth grow 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:37.359 as a result of all of your hard work and 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:41.639 your smart, intelligent decisions with the money that you have earned. 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.920 And even along the way, I will admit some sacrifices, 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:50.160 but well worth sacrifices along the way. Let me tell 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:55.560 you this, doing the hard work is what builds character, strength, 0:02:55.800 --> 0:03:01.000 and resilience, and those things last a lifetime, and those 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.519 things will also help you face other challenges in other 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:07.480 areas of your life. Trust me on that I have 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:12.680 been there and experienced this multiple times. So if you 0:03:12.800 --> 0:03:15.799 go and just try and bank a financial provider, you're 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:18.919 going to miss out on building your character, building your 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:22.520 own strength, and building your own resilience. That to me, 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:26.120 I would rather have an empty bank account but have character, 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:29.480 strength and resilience. Now, when you rely on someone for 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:34.000 your own financial wellbeing, you miss out on those fundamental 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:40.320 aspects for personal growth. Financial independence is not just about money. 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.320 I know that sounds crazy coming from a financial planner. 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:46.400 That's all about investing and building up passively incommon, having 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.200 financial freedom and the right amount of emergency money. But 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:55.000 financial wellbeing and financial independence is about dignity. It's about 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:59.840 self respect, and it's about empowerment. Why in the hell 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:04.040 would you ever want to compromise on this. Imagine their 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:07.040 freedom to make your own choices without having to seek 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:11.680 approval from a financial provider, whether it be pursuing further education, 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.560 changing careers, starting a business or a hobby, or maybe 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:19.880 even something fabulous like traveling the world. When you have 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:23.720 your own financial independence and freedom, These are your decisions 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:27.120 and you get to make them on your own terms. 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:31.039 When you're aligned on a financial provider, you have no control, 0:04:31.560 --> 0:04:35.120 you have a very restricted say, and you have absolutely 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:39.440 no sense of financial independence because essentially you are relying 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:43.040 on someone else for your financial survival. You're restricting yourself 0:04:43.120 --> 0:04:46.279 in so many ways, so many ways that you probably 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.960 won't realize how bad those ways are until you are 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:52.520 knee deep and pretty much lost so much about yourself 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:56.080 along the way. You become completely dependent on their goodwill, 0:04:56.560 --> 0:04:59.080 their moods, and you lose the autonomy to be able 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:02.560 to shape your own future. This is not about money. 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:05.120 This is about your freedom and your right to live 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:09.840 a life, your life on your own terms. Another critical 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:13.880 aspect to consider is the financial risk involved in relying 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:17.080 on a partner for financial stability, that is, your financial provider. 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:21.760 Relationships can change. Life is unpredictable, can change in the 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:25.400 blink of an eye. What happens if that relationship ends? 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:30.280 What happens if your partner faces financial difficulties and makes 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:34.080 some bad financial decisions and loses at all You're now 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:37.000 both stuck with no money. Or if something happens to them, 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:38.880 maybe from a health point of view, and they are 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:41.279 no longer able to work or to earn the type 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.280 of income that they previously were. That skill maybe has 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:48.360 been superseded. Their earning capability is now void, and you 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.880 are now completely reliant on someone who is unreliable themselves 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:54.800 and can't even necessarily provide for you, let alone themselves. 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:58.520 By relying on someone else, you're putting yourself into such 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:03.440 a financially and emotionally vulnerable position. Not only do you 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:05.880 lose the control and security that comes with managing your 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:10.320 own finances, you miss out on the education, the advice, 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:13.960 the wisdom that is gained from doing it yourself. Building 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:17.160 your own financial foundation is the only way to protect 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:21.280 yourself and to PreTect your future and the excitement, empowerment 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:26.360 and drive that is, in my opinion, incredibly attractive, regardless 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.880 of whatever sex you choose to identify with. Now, whilst 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:32.039 I'm on my soapbox, I also want to talk about 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:36.320 dignity and self worth. As women, we should never feel 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.800 that our value is tied to our ability to attract 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:44.320 a financial provider. Our worth is inherent and not dependent 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:48.560 on our financial situation or our relationship status. For the 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.719 last decade, women and even men have fought so hard 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:57.960 to help create equality, fight salary gaps, superannuation gaps. And 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:01.320 whilst our progress, I will admit, is small, the best 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:04.760 is yet to come. We are certainly making progress, and 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:08.120 that progress is only going to get bigger and happen faster. 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:11.840 So do we really want to show such disrespect and 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.240 disregard for all those people who have been trying to 0:07:15.280 --> 0:07:19.240 help build a fairer world for our daughters, our granddaughters, 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.400 and our great granddaughters by selling yourself and your freedom 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:26.800 short by being reliant and looking for a financial provider. Now, 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:29.960 on that note of daughters and granddaughters, would you actually 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.520 want them to settle themselves in their lives for a 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:35.080 partner just because they have money. Would you really look 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:36.840 them in the eye and be happy that they found 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.120 someone who's got money? Or would you want them to 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:43.920 find a partner that will love them unconditionally, support and 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:48.280 encourage each other both ways, and make each other feel safe, 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:52.880 protected and respected at all times, regardless of money. If 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.800 your answer is yes, which I seriously hope is, then 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:59.960 why the hell would you settle for anything less your self? 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:04.800 If my daughters, Tiger and Apple and Rocco. Happen to 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:08.640 choose a partner that has money, great, that is a bonus, 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:12.000 but that doesn't mean or matter at all. What matters 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:14.800 is what's inside. Are they going to be a great team. 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.200 Are they going to love each other? Are they going 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:19.600 to make each other smile, make each other feel safe, 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.560 support and encourage each other to chase their goals and 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:26.840 dreams Regardless of the financial interest there that is what's important, 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:31.280 and that's what creates happiness, stability, and fulfillment in life. 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:34.400 Not a financial provider as a financially independent woman, but 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.880 also a financially independent woman who has seen it all 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:40.720 and also gone through a lot myself personally, I truly 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.640 believe that empowerment comes from knowing that you can stand 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:47.720 on your own two feet, financially and otherwise. It comes 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:51.360 from the confidence that you know you can face whatever 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:55.120 challenges life throws you at you because you have the skills, 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:59.280 the knowledge, the life experience, and the financial security to 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:01.880 do so. So what can we actually do to combat 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:05.319 this troubling trend? Well, first of all, we need to 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:10.120 spread awareness, awareness of the importance of financial independence and 0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:15.480 how absolutely ridiculous and disgusting. This current social media trend 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:17.800 is and I really hope it's a trend that is 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.400 short lived. Then it is essential that we start continue 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:25.080 and increase the number of success stories of other women 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:29.280 who have achieved financial successes on their own terms. Then 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.240 we need to obviously provide education. Education is key, and 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:35.880 education is what breaks poverty and creates opportunities. And make 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:38.920 sure that we provide resources to help women take control 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:42.760 of their own finances. And this includes everything from budgeting, 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:46.800 saving to investing, investing in shares, property wherever you're that 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:51.120 person's heart desires, and of course planning for retirement and 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:55.440 understanding the importance of where superannuation fits in here. Knowledge 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:58.680 is power and financial literacy is the key to empowerment. 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:03.040 And of course we have got to change the narratives 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:05.200 it suggests that women need a financial provider to be 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:08.680 successful or to be happy. We need to be celebrating 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:12.120 and supporting each other in our own financial journeys, whether 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:15.840 they be small accomplishments or massive accomplishments, it doesn't matter. 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:19.160 Everything is a win, and everything is one step better 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:23.040 and one step closer to having true, authentic financial freedom 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:27.120 and independence. Recognizing that true successes come from within and 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:31.120 are never dependent on someone else or someone else's money. Now, 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.240 as we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:37.360 you with this thought. Financial independence is a journey, not 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.000 a destination, and part of that journey may be fast 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:42.280 and efficient with no traffic along the way, but there 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.800 will be times where you hit detours, may have to 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:46.760 pay some tolls along the way, But then you may 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:49.559 hit the open roads and can accelerate ahead. And again 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:51.560 you may need to pull over and get petrol, you 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:54.560 may need to get your car serviced. That's all okay. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:56.960 As long as you are on the path, heading in 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:00.000 the right direction, that's what's most important. So it really 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:05.200 boils down to making smart, informed decisions based on factually 0:11:05.400 --> 0:11:09.600 correct information, and making decisions and doing something every single 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.160 day so that you can move closer and closer to 0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:16.200 your financial goals. It's about building a life that reflects 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:20.120 your values, your dreams, and your potential while shining brightly 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:23.280 to inspire others along the way to have a go 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:26.480 at following your path, even if it means at times 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:30.760 feeling alone or vulnerable, because more often than not, it 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:34.160 is those darkest parts of the journey that is where 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:38.599 the richest growth is to be found, both personally and financially. 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:43.640 Trust me on that. All right, Okay, now that I've 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:45.720 got this off my chest, I feel so much better. 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:48.840 So thank you everyone for listening, and of course thank 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:52.200 you for joining me. Now, as we wrap up today's episode, 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:55.000 I want to remind you that your financial journey is 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.640 your own journey, and you have the power to shape 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:02.000 it every single day. So stay strong, stay informed, and 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:07.200 stay independent, and keep that financial fire burning bright within you. 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:09.559 This is sugar Mamma's fire.