1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:12,921 Speaker 1: Apodjay Production. Just a disclaimer. On today's episode, it's not 2 00:00:13,001 --> 00:00:18,361 Speaker 1: a substitute for psychological or medical advice. The podcast discussed 3 00:00:18,401 --> 00:00:22,161 Speaker 1: topics around mental health which may be triggering, so always 4 00:00:22,201 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: seek support. 5 00:00:23,281 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the 6 00:00:26,761 --> 00:00:29,601 Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects 7 00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:32,761 Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect 8 00:00:32,881 --> 00:00:36,001 Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. 9 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,921 Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara. 10 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level 11 00:00:44,521 --> 00:00:47,641 Speaker 3: up together. Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, combine 12 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,361 Speaker 3: the lessons to grow and glow. Nothing is off the 13 00:00:50,361 --> 00:00:52,161 Speaker 3: table with Grow and Glow, and we're here to be 14 00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:56,321 Speaker 3: your expander. 15 00:00:57,121 --> 00:00:59,241 Speaker 4: Hello everybody, Welcome back to Grow and Glow. 16 00:00:59,641 --> 00:01:00,481 Speaker 3: Very exciting day. 17 00:01:00,521 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 4: We have a guess, Yes, a guess that I've stalked 18 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,761 Speaker 4: out on TikTok. 19 00:01:05,121 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: Places so cool, love TikTok. 20 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,081 Speaker 4: It's so good, isn't it. Well, welcome step to the podcast. 21 00:01:10,121 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 4: We're so excited that you're here today. 22 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,800 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. I'm very excited 23 00:01:14,801 --> 00:01:18,721 Speaker 1: to be here. And yeah, very grateful, so I appreciate. 24 00:01:18,241 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 4: It before we get into the episode. Every single week 25 00:01:21,401 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 4: you do a share of the weeks, and we'd love 26 00:01:22,961 --> 00:01:26,401 Speaker 4: to ask you something that you're loving lately that's super interesting. 27 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,681 Speaker 1: Mine's a quote that I came across last week and 28 00:01:31,721 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: I just I'm obsessed with it, and the quote is 29 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,361 Speaker 1: the magic you're looking for is in the work you're 30 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,401 Speaker 1: avoiding doing love love. 31 00:01:40,441 --> 00:01:44,321 Speaker 4: That That is so true, isn't that true? Really is? 32 00:01:44,721 --> 00:01:44,921 Speaker 1: Yeah? 33 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,721 Speaker 4: Oh that's epic. So you're a psychologist and you work 34 00:01:48,721 --> 00:01:52,561 Speaker 4: in areas with mental health, eating disorders, body dysmorphia. Could 35 00:01:52,561 --> 00:01:54,241 Speaker 4: you tell us a little bit about your background and 36 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,841 Speaker 4: what led you to do this kind of work you 37 00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:56,320 Speaker 4: do today. 38 00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: Absolutely. So, I've been a registered psychologist for eight years 39 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:02,921 Speaker 1: and then I just went back and did my clinical masters, 40 00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:06,081 Speaker 1: So I'm a clinical psychologist now and I've been in 41 00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:09,041 Speaker 1: the industry for a long time. I'm also a Bard 42 00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:13,321 Speaker 1: Approof supervisor, so I supervised psychology students. A published author, 43 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:15,921 Speaker 1: so I've published a book, food Jail, Breaking the Bars 44 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:16,721 Speaker 1: of binge Eating. 45 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, amazing. 46 00:02:18,401 --> 00:02:21,321 Speaker 1: Thank you. It's been a wild journey. And also have 47 00:02:21,401 --> 00:02:24,721 Speaker 1: a podcast whereas talk about mental health topics, but I 48 00:02:24,921 --> 00:02:28,041 Speaker 1: love creating content on social media. That's my favorite thing 49 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: to do with all my four degrees. Wow. 50 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,201 Speaker 4: What is the difference between a psychologist and a clinical psychologist? 51 00:02:34,601 --> 00:02:38,081 Speaker 1: Good question. Basically more learning. It just takes a couple 52 00:02:38,081 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: more years to do clinical, but clinical psychology is more 53 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:47,321 Speaker 1: heavily focused on assessment, diagnosis, treatment planning. You know a 54 00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:51,841 Speaker 1: little bit more about medication, and also the rebates are 55 00:02:51,881 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: a little bit different if you are going through medicare. 56 00:02:54,321 --> 00:02:56,601 Speaker 4: I feel that through your tiktoks that it feels like 57 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,481 Speaker 4: you are a psychologist, but it feels like you're a 58 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,321 Speaker 4: coach as well. I like how you kind of blend 59 00:03:01,361 --> 00:03:03,321 Speaker 4: it and just make it really easy to digest all 60 00:03:03,321 --> 00:03:05,721 Speaker 4: the information because a lot of the top are quite 61 00:03:05,761 --> 00:03:08,681 Speaker 4: triggering and hard to talk about, but you make it 62 00:03:08,761 --> 00:03:11,401 Speaker 4: easy to talk about. Yeah, I guess that's why you 63 00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:13,081 Speaker 4: love doing the social media side of things. 64 00:03:13,281 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. We love to break it down, Yes. 65 00:03:15,601 --> 00:03:17,721 Speaker 4: Break it down, even for a TikTok where you opened 66 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,601 Speaker 4: up a book and you're like, whatever I land on, 67 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:23,161 Speaker 4: I'm going to see if I can like explain explain it. 68 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,761 Speaker 4: It was so interesting, learn. 69 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 1: The disorder, Learn the disorder. 70 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,201 Speaker 4: Yes, speaking of there's a lot that a lot of 71 00:03:29,201 --> 00:03:31,601 Speaker 4: people are really suffering with in today's society. You know, 72 00:03:31,761 --> 00:03:36,001 Speaker 4: that's anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD. Are you able to break 73 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:38,881 Speaker 4: them down and simplify them, because I think people kind 74 00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:41,481 Speaker 4: of say them just so willing nearly, like oh, I've 75 00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:45,001 Speaker 4: got anxiety or I'm OCD. Yeah it's my OCD, And 76 00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,001 Speaker 4: it's like, I think people actually need to have a 77 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,801 Speaker 4: deeper understanding to what each of these are. So let's 78 00:03:49,801 --> 00:03:50,921 Speaker 4: start with depression. 79 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,641 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, So basically, there's a book called the DSM 80 00:03:54,721 --> 00:03:58,761 Speaker 1: five Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, and 81 00:03:58,881 --> 00:04:01,681 Speaker 1: in that book there's different categories. So we've got our 82 00:04:01,761 --> 00:04:06,481 Speaker 1: mood disorders where depression would be and depression. Essentially, there 83 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: are different types, but the sort of most common one 84 00:04:09,481 --> 00:04:13,401 Speaker 1: we see is major depressive disorder, which is a low 85 00:04:13,481 --> 00:04:16,761 Speaker 1: mood on more days than not for most of the days, 86 00:04:17,201 --> 00:04:22,001 Speaker 1: loss of energy. Depressed mood changes to your appetite, feeling hopeless, 87 00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:25,041 Speaker 1: and that needs to happen for a minimum of two weeks. 88 00:04:25,681 --> 00:04:28,281 Speaker 1: But what makes something for disorder is that it is 89 00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:31,201 Speaker 1: affecting your day to date functioning. So people might say 90 00:04:31,201 --> 00:04:33,481 Speaker 1: I feel depressed or I feel anxious. But if it's 91 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,161 Speaker 1: affecting your day to date life, going to work, going 92 00:04:37,201 --> 00:04:41,041 Speaker 1: to school, interacting with friends and family, then that's when 93 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,001 Speaker 1: it's really classified a disorder. 94 00:04:43,481 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 4: It's hard with that word disorder because I feel like 95 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,561 Speaker 4: it can become someone's identity. Yes, And I remember when 96 00:04:50,561 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 4: I was in my early twenties, it was affecting my 97 00:04:53,161 --> 00:04:56,481 Speaker 4: everyday life, like pulling my hair out, having panic attacks, 98 00:04:56,681 --> 00:04:59,121 Speaker 4: shaking on the floor, like could not control my breath, 99 00:04:59,521 --> 00:05:01,481 Speaker 4: didn't want to go to work, like it was affecting everything. 100 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,081 Speaker 4: So I went to the doctor and they were like, 101 00:05:03,161 --> 00:05:06,161 Speaker 4: you have anxiety disorder, and you are that become my 102 00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:09,801 Speaker 4: identity for so long that I felt so incapable of 103 00:05:09,841 --> 00:05:13,281 Speaker 4: doing anything because I was depressed and anxious. Do you 104 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,041 Speaker 4: think there's a certain way as a psychologist with how 105 00:05:16,081 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 4: you diagnose people and that language that you use so 106 00:05:18,601 --> 00:05:20,121 Speaker 4: that doesn't happen to people. 107 00:05:20,841 --> 00:05:24,521 Speaker 1: It's such a great point to bring up because you're 108 00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:28,041 Speaker 1: right sometimes people can identify with it in a good way, 109 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: but also in a bad ways in people love to 110 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,601 Speaker 1: fit a template, right, and this is why we need 111 00:05:32,641 --> 00:05:35,481 Speaker 1: to be mindful of not self diagnosing on social media 112 00:05:35,681 --> 00:05:40,241 Speaker 1: or TikTok. So. I think the word disorder it just 113 00:05:40,361 --> 00:05:44,481 Speaker 1: helps us tack a certain criteria to meet a condition, 114 00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: and the disorder helps inform treatment. So a lot of 115 00:05:47,641 --> 00:05:50,121 Speaker 1: people might say, oh, I don't like labels or I 116 00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:52,361 Speaker 1: don't want a name for what I'm going through, but 117 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,481 Speaker 1: if you go to a doctor, you want to know 118 00:05:54,561 --> 00:05:58,601 Speaker 1: what's going on because that information, that label or that 119 00:05:58,641 --> 00:06:01,881 Speaker 1: disorder helps to inform the treatment. I agree the word 120 00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:07,241 Speaker 1: disorder isn't very helpful, especially for conditions such as ADHD, 121 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,561 Speaker 1: which we'll go into, which is brain and more neuro based. 122 00:06:11,201 --> 00:06:15,241 Speaker 1: But yeah, I can definitely see why people might feel 123 00:06:15,281 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: that identifica. 124 00:06:16,481 --> 00:06:19,001 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think something that's helpful. When I came off 125 00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:22,601 Speaker 4: my medication and then started seeing a coach as I 126 00:06:22,681 --> 00:06:25,241 Speaker 4: kind of weaned off it, I remember them saying to me, like, 127 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 4: you are more than your anxiety and depression. That's not 128 00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:32,041 Speaker 4: just who you are. You're also very capable, You're also smart, 129 00:06:32,081 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 4: You're also fun. There's so many hats that Ashly wears 130 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 4: and so many parts of you that that's not all 131 00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 4: you are. But hearing that from my doctor, that was 132 00:06:40,281 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 4: just all I became. So I just think it'd be 133 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:45,361 Speaker 4: cool if there was that added on to their diagnosis. 134 00:06:45,521 --> 00:06:49,721 Speaker 1: I agree and saying I am someone who is experiencing 135 00:06:49,801 --> 00:06:55,001 Speaker 1: and that language someone who is experiencing a depressive epersode 136 00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:58,601 Speaker 1: rather than I am depressed. I am this because then 137 00:06:58,641 --> 00:07:01,281 Speaker 1: you become the disorder and that can be hard to 138 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 1: shift for people. 139 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,441 Speaker 3: I can definitely relate to times in my life where 140 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,041 Speaker 3: I've felt like like I couldn't escape it, like it 141 00:07:07,121 --> 00:07:07,721 Speaker 3: was a part of me. 142 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:10,521 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I love what you said then, because then 143 00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:12,801 Speaker 4: it allows you to take radical responsibility. I don't want 144 00:07:12,801 --> 00:07:15,401 Speaker 4: to blame the doctors, but you're just saying that, like, 145 00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:18,881 Speaker 4: use that language on yourself, Like I am feeling depressed 146 00:07:18,961 --> 00:07:22,241 Speaker 4: right now. I'm going through really depressive season right now. 147 00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,561 Speaker 4: It helps to know that, Yeah, you can separate that 148 00:07:24,561 --> 00:07:25,561 Speaker 4: that's not just all you are. 149 00:07:25,881 --> 00:07:29,361 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it creates space to change. Yeah, aware of it. 150 00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:32,881 Speaker 4: So depression is a low state and mood for a 151 00:07:32,961 --> 00:07:35,001 Speaker 4: long period of time that it affects your day to 152 00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:38,681 Speaker 4: day living basically correct at least two weeks, at least 153 00:07:38,681 --> 00:07:39,081 Speaker 4: two weeks. 154 00:07:39,121 --> 00:07:41,761 Speaker 1: You have that for at least two years, then it's 155 00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:44,841 Speaker 1: persistent depressive disorder, also known as dysthymia. 156 00:07:44,921 --> 00:07:46,041 Speaker 4: Oh I've never heard that. 157 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:51,401 Speaker 1: Dysthym that just means a low mood, a chronic low mood. 158 00:07:51,441 --> 00:07:55,321 Speaker 1: We've got em which is being elevated end is damn. 159 00:07:55,401 --> 00:07:56,361 Speaker 4: I've never heard of that. 160 00:07:57,281 --> 00:08:00,601 Speaker 1: It's more of like a long term, long standing depression. 161 00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:03,801 Speaker 4: Okay, And most people that experienced depression for a long 162 00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:06,281 Speaker 4: period of time, would you say that they are receiving 163 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,561 Speaker 4: help and support emotionally or they just medicate it and 164 00:08:09,561 --> 00:08:11,601 Speaker 4: like that's just what they advise to do. 165 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:15,321 Speaker 1: Every case is different, but what we do know is, 166 00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,481 Speaker 1: you know, one in four women will experience a depressive 167 00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:22,361 Speaker 1: episode in their lifetime, and if left unmanaged, there is 168 00:08:22,361 --> 00:08:24,641 Speaker 1: a fifty percent chance that it will come back. 169 00:08:24,801 --> 00:08:25,281 Speaker 4: Makes sense. 170 00:08:25,401 --> 00:08:27,721 Speaker 1: That's why it's so important to seek help even if 171 00:08:27,721 --> 00:08:30,521 Speaker 1: you're not sure, you know, go to the doctor or 172 00:08:30,681 --> 00:08:33,881 Speaker 1: speak to someone someone you trust to get that support 173 00:08:33,921 --> 00:08:35,001 Speaker 1: so it doesn't come back. 174 00:08:35,441 --> 00:08:39,841 Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, let's unpack anxiety disorder, because that is one 175 00:08:39,881 --> 00:08:42,961 Speaker 4: that I just think majority of females. I know, I 176 00:08:42,961 --> 00:08:44,721 Speaker 4: don't think men speak about it as much, but I 177 00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:47,521 Speaker 4: do feel like more females stuffer with Is that true females. 178 00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,681 Speaker 1: Females are more likely to seek help. So when we 179 00:08:50,721 --> 00:08:53,361 Speaker 1: look at the statistics. We know, you know, one in 180 00:08:53,401 --> 00:08:56,081 Speaker 1: six people will have a mental health condition. Anxiety is 181 00:08:56,121 --> 00:08:59,241 Speaker 1: one of the more common ones. But I think there's 182 00:08:59,241 --> 00:09:02,081 Speaker 1: still a bit of stigma around men getting that support 183 00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:06,321 Speaker 1: or men recognizing it, because men can in turn symptoms 184 00:09:06,361 --> 00:09:09,041 Speaker 1: more whereas women we talk and we express it, and 185 00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:11,441 Speaker 1: we're more in tune with our feelings, so I think 186 00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:15,241 Speaker 1: it can be a bit trickier to identify in men. 187 00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:20,561 Speaker 1: But anxiety, there's six different types of anxiety. We've got 188 00:09:20,841 --> 00:09:24,201 Speaker 1: generalized anxiety disorder, which is the most common. So this 189 00:09:24,401 --> 00:09:29,641 Speaker 1: is having persistent, consistent worry for at least six months 190 00:09:29,641 --> 00:09:32,001 Speaker 1: in adults, So you worry about a number of things, 191 00:09:32,401 --> 00:09:35,721 Speaker 1: feel like you're losing control. You might get the physiological 192 00:09:35,761 --> 00:09:40,561 Speaker 1: symptoms racing heart, sweaty, sweaty, shaky, etc. You find it 193 00:09:40,601 --> 00:09:43,801 Speaker 1: hard to control the worry, and the worry occurs on 194 00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:47,681 Speaker 1: more days than it doesn't, and that impacts your day 195 00:09:47,681 --> 00:09:52,681 Speaker 1: to day functioning again, work relationships, being present for your family. 196 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:55,961 Speaker 4: That's the first one, Okay, can we do the other thing? 197 00:09:57,041 --> 00:10:00,681 Speaker 1: So that we have got social anxiety disorder, which people 198 00:10:00,761 --> 00:10:03,841 Speaker 1: think is just being anxious in social situations, but it's 199 00:10:03,841 --> 00:10:07,161 Speaker 1: more than that. It's two main things. It's the fear 200 00:10:07,321 --> 00:10:12,241 Speaker 1: of being negatively evaluated or judged in social settings, or 201 00:10:12,281 --> 00:10:16,121 Speaker 1: the fear of embarrassing yourself. And again that comes with 202 00:10:16,161 --> 00:10:19,801 Speaker 1: the physiological symptoms, needs to be present for at least 203 00:10:19,881 --> 00:10:23,761 Speaker 1: six months, and it's also associated with a lot of avoidance. 204 00:10:23,761 --> 00:10:28,001 Speaker 1: So any anxiety disorder will come with avoidance, avoiding social situations, 205 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,641 Speaker 1: avoiding opportunities, saying exactly. 206 00:10:31,201 --> 00:10:32,721 Speaker 4: Which is actually intimacy? 207 00:10:33,121 --> 00:10:37,241 Speaker 1: Is it intimacy things that are scary job opportunities? 208 00:10:38,161 --> 00:10:38,961 Speaker 4: What's the third one? 209 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:43,361 Speaker 1: What's the third one? We've got phobias, so fear of spiers, 210 00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:48,321 Speaker 1: fear of flying, go yes. And then there's separation anxiety disorder. Yeah, 211 00:10:48,401 --> 00:10:51,201 Speaker 1: we see more in children, so the fear of separating 212 00:10:51,281 --> 00:10:55,881 Speaker 1: from a parental figure. They might be the main ones. 213 00:10:56,361 --> 00:11:00,681 Speaker 1: Illness anxiety disorder used to be called hyperchondriasis known as 214 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:04,921 Speaker 1: health anxiety. Now, so this is a preoccupation that some 215 00:11:05,161 --> 00:11:07,721 Speaker 1: thing is wrong with you. So you might get a 216 00:11:07,761 --> 00:11:10,201 Speaker 1: sore throat and you think immediately I've got throat cancer. 217 00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:13,681 Speaker 1: You start googling, you start checking all the symptoms, and 218 00:11:13,681 --> 00:11:16,241 Speaker 1: because you're fixated on these symptoms, they can start to 219 00:11:16,281 --> 00:11:20,441 Speaker 1: feel a bit more intense and yeah, more aware. So 220 00:11:20,961 --> 00:11:23,361 Speaker 1: that's a big one, especially after COVID healths are. 221 00:11:23,481 --> 00:11:26,121 Speaker 4: Yes, I didn't realize how big it was. But even 222 00:11:26,161 --> 00:11:29,201 Speaker 4: me talking about my brain aneurysm so openly and calmly, 223 00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,721 Speaker 4: I can't count the amount of DMS that I've got, Like, 224 00:11:31,921 --> 00:11:33,881 Speaker 4: how do you not have anxiety? You didn't know you 225 00:11:33,921 --> 00:11:35,681 Speaker 4: had this a newism, You've been living with it for years. 226 00:11:35,681 --> 00:11:38,321 Speaker 4: And I could feel their panic through the DMS. I'm like, Wow, 227 00:11:38,401 --> 00:11:41,001 Speaker 4: this is a real thing. Like you said, they get 228 00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:43,721 Speaker 4: one little thing wrong and they automatically think. Like one 229 00:11:43,761 --> 00:11:45,121 Speaker 4: girl and she's like, oh my god, i've lost my 230 00:11:45,201 --> 00:11:47,361 Speaker 4: sight before and have blank vision. Does that mean I 231 00:11:47,361 --> 00:11:49,321 Speaker 4: have a brain in newism? Too scared to go get checked, 232 00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:51,961 Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, let's just take a breath. 233 00:11:52,761 --> 00:11:54,561 Speaker 4: You might just have a migraine. It's okay, let's not 234 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,721 Speaker 4: jump to there. But it's a real thing for a 235 00:11:56,761 --> 00:11:57,321 Speaker 4: lot of people. 236 00:11:57,561 --> 00:11:59,721 Speaker 3: I had a really hard pregnancy with my first daughter, 237 00:12:00,361 --> 00:12:03,321 Speaker 3: and then in my second pregnancy with Lincoln, I was 238 00:12:03,521 --> 00:12:06,321 Speaker 3: so stressed. I was so worried, constantly worried that I 239 00:12:06,361 --> 00:12:08,681 Speaker 3: was doing the wrong thing, that like he wasn't okay. 240 00:12:09,121 --> 00:12:11,521 Speaker 3: So yeah, I definitely can relate to those feelings of 241 00:12:11,761 --> 00:12:13,961 Speaker 3: and even waiting in the like my blood pressure was 242 00:12:13,961 --> 00:12:15,881 Speaker 3: always super high and they're like, it's because you're just 243 00:12:16,001 --> 00:12:18,481 Speaker 3: here like to get checked, And I was just so 244 00:12:18,521 --> 00:12:20,361 Speaker 3: anxious to make sure he was safe and he was okay. 245 00:12:20,481 --> 00:12:22,481 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so interesting. 246 00:12:22,761 --> 00:12:24,161 Speaker 1: They're the main ones. 247 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:27,001 Speaker 4: The separation anxiety with children. I'd love to unpack that 248 00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:28,561 Speaker 4: a little bit more because a lot of our audience 249 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:31,921 Speaker 4: are mums and both my kids don't like going to 250 00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:34,441 Speaker 4: strangers and they like love to be close to us. 251 00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:37,241 Speaker 4: But where do you think that stems from? Like how 252 00:12:37,281 --> 00:12:39,681 Speaker 4: do some children feel safe to go to strangers and 253 00:12:39,681 --> 00:12:42,481 Speaker 4: others don't? What happens in the family dynamic to have 254 00:12:42,481 --> 00:12:44,361 Speaker 4: such different Because I have some friends that the kids 255 00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:46,481 Speaker 4: will go to anyone and everyone, And I'm like, if 256 00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,081 Speaker 4: I tried to hand my daughter to you, she'd be like, 257 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:48,921 Speaker 4: no fucking way. 258 00:12:48,961 --> 00:12:51,441 Speaker 1: It's a case by case approach. But then there's also 259 00:12:51,921 --> 00:12:55,201 Speaker 1: a disorder where children go to strangers too much and 260 00:12:55,201 --> 00:12:58,241 Speaker 1: they have no sort of inhibition and not aware of 261 00:12:58,321 --> 00:13:01,441 Speaker 1: it at all. I think it's called a reactive attachment disorder. 262 00:13:01,521 --> 00:13:04,161 Speaker 4: Yeah, the hell Stix psychologist breaks these down. Yeah, made 263 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,801 Speaker 4: me feel better about my kids not wanting to go 264 00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,681 Speaker 4: to strangers. She said, it means they've got a healthy 265 00:13:07,681 --> 00:13:08,961 Speaker 4: attachment with their primar. 266 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:11,801 Speaker 1: Caref Yeah, they're aware and at the end of the day, 267 00:13:11,961 --> 00:13:15,521 Speaker 1: just remember, you know, if it's happening more often than not, 268 00:13:15,681 --> 00:13:18,681 Speaker 1: and it's causing distress and it's causing problems, and okay, 269 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,201 Speaker 1: be aware of it. But no, I don't think there's 270 00:13:21,241 --> 00:13:24,081 Speaker 1: anything wrong with that at all. Like, it's good that 271 00:13:24,201 --> 00:13:26,921 Speaker 1: children are aware, and I think it's important that they 272 00:13:26,961 --> 00:13:29,201 Speaker 1: feel comfortable and safe with you. 273 00:13:30,321 --> 00:13:33,121 Speaker 4: I'm also glad that they're like that because I feel 274 00:13:33,121 --> 00:13:35,561 Speaker 4: like they would be approached by strangers, they'd be running 275 00:13:35,601 --> 00:13:37,641 Speaker 4: for the head. Yeah, they would be like, yeah, I'll 276 00:13:37,681 --> 00:13:41,001 Speaker 4: take your candy. Is there a specific. 277 00:13:40,601 --> 00:13:43,641 Speaker 3: Age where with the separation anxiety it really starts to 278 00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:45,761 Speaker 3: kind of tend to happen, Like is it around school 279 00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:46,641 Speaker 3: age or is it? 280 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:50,881 Speaker 1: Yeah, good question. We definitely see school age. I think 281 00:13:50,921 --> 00:13:53,681 Speaker 1: that's the most common because that's when they really start 282 00:13:53,721 --> 00:13:58,401 Speaker 1: to separate, go to school and separation anxiety. It is normal. 283 00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:00,481 Speaker 1: You know, if you're dropping your kids off and they cry, 284 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:04,961 Speaker 1: that's fine. It's more the child cannot be a lot 285 00:14:05,401 --> 00:14:09,041 Speaker 1: for you know, small periods of time. I'm very distressed, 286 00:14:09,121 --> 00:14:12,041 Speaker 1: they're crying out, and there's more to that. It's more 287 00:14:12,081 --> 00:14:14,961 Speaker 1: there's a fear that something bad is going to happen 288 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:18,121 Speaker 1: to the parents. So the children might say, Mummy, I'm scared, 289 00:14:18,281 --> 00:14:21,001 Speaker 1: you know, you're going to die, or they have nightmares 290 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,361 Speaker 1: or something bad happening to the parent. So it's his 291 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:26,081 Speaker 1: fear that something bad is going to happen to the parent. 292 00:14:26,321 --> 00:14:29,841 Speaker 4: Oh that's so heartbreaking, broken down like that. 293 00:14:30,321 --> 00:14:32,881 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it might come from experience, if the parents 294 00:14:32,881 --> 00:14:37,441 Speaker 1: spent prolong time in hospital and more true around and yeah, 295 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,001 Speaker 1: it just really is a case by case. 296 00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:43,241 Speaker 4: I've heard energetically age seven this might be a bit wooo, 297 00:14:43,721 --> 00:14:47,601 Speaker 4: but age seven is when they energetically unplugged their umbilical 298 00:14:47,641 --> 00:14:50,401 Speaker 4: cord from you, and that's when they like separate a 299 00:14:50,401 --> 00:14:52,081 Speaker 4: bit more and they feel more comfortable to be on 300 00:14:52,081 --> 00:14:54,041 Speaker 4: their own. They're their own person, they have their own voice. 301 00:14:54,201 --> 00:14:57,761 Speaker 4: And I definitely saw a massive shift in Taj. I 302 00:14:57,761 --> 00:15:00,201 Speaker 4: think he was a little bit anxious attached at the start, 303 00:15:00,721 --> 00:15:03,441 Speaker 4: but I feel like now he's just so independent and 304 00:15:03,561 --> 00:15:06,921 Speaker 4: strong and his own person. I've felt that like unpluck 305 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:12,561 Speaker 4: heard that before. Yeah, I believe it too interesting. Can 306 00:15:12,601 --> 00:15:15,321 Speaker 4: we go over body dysmorphia? I think this is this 307 00:15:15,521 --> 00:15:17,001 Speaker 4: something that's relatively new. 308 00:15:17,921 --> 00:15:21,361 Speaker 1: Good question. I think it's become more common and more 309 00:15:21,401 --> 00:15:25,361 Speaker 1: people are aware of it. Okay, So body dysmorphic disorder, 310 00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:32,241 Speaker 1: it's actually from the sort of obsessive, impulsive type of disorder. 311 00:15:32,241 --> 00:15:35,361 Speaker 1: It's not an eating disorder, but it does have links 312 00:15:35,481 --> 00:15:39,281 Speaker 1: to eating disorders. So body dysmorphic disorder is the preoccupation 313 00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:43,361 Speaker 1: with a real or perceived flaw in your appearance or 314 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,521 Speaker 1: a minor defect. So, for example, you might have a 315 00:15:45,561 --> 00:15:48,681 Speaker 1: bump in your nose and you're so self conscious of 316 00:15:48,721 --> 00:15:52,201 Speaker 1: that that you spend hours a day mirror checking hiding 317 00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:55,441 Speaker 1: your nose, or you spend no time looking in the mirror. 318 00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:59,361 Speaker 1: So you've either got frequent checkers frequent avoids. And these 319 00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:01,441 Speaker 1: are the people you see on those TV shows like 320 00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:05,041 Speaker 1: that get all these plastic surgeries, and it's very extreme, 321 00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:09,241 Speaker 1: and it usually isn't figured out until this person has 322 00:16:09,281 --> 00:16:12,161 Speaker 1: had all these nose jobs and then adoptor's like, hey, 323 00:16:12,401 --> 00:16:16,201 Speaker 1: I think there's something psychological here that's going on. So 324 00:16:16,201 --> 00:16:19,521 Speaker 1: it's more than just your body thin, overweight, whatever it 325 00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:22,201 Speaker 1: might be. It's an actual part. It could be skin, 326 00:16:22,361 --> 00:16:25,121 Speaker 1: it could be hair, it could be your ears, it 327 00:16:25,121 --> 00:16:28,161 Speaker 1: could be your calves, it could be any part of 328 00:16:28,201 --> 00:16:31,521 Speaker 1: your body. But it causes significant distress. 329 00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:34,121 Speaker 4: Right because I think that is one that gets thrown 330 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,481 Speaker 4: around quite casually, like I've got body dysmorphia, Like I 331 00:16:37,521 --> 00:16:39,161 Speaker 4: think I look skinny, it think it looks fat, and 332 00:16:39,161 --> 00:16:41,081 Speaker 4: it's just almost joked about. 333 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,841 Speaker 1: Yeah it does, and look. People can definitely have traits 334 00:16:44,961 --> 00:16:48,161 Speaker 1: of disorders. You can definitely have days where you feel 335 00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:50,201 Speaker 1: larger than you actually are and. 336 00:16:50,401 --> 00:16:51,321 Speaker 4: Wait before your period for. 337 00:16:51,361 --> 00:16:54,401 Speaker 1: Yet, I think you know, it's normally okay to have 338 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,681 Speaker 1: traits of all these different things we're talking about today, 339 00:16:56,721 --> 00:17:00,321 Speaker 1: but it's the level of distress and impact on your life. 340 00:17:00,401 --> 00:17:04,241 Speaker 1: And body dysmorphic disorder actually has one of the highest 341 00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:07,681 Speaker 1: mortality rates because people do take their life because they've 342 00:17:07,681 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 1: had the nose job or they've had the operation. They 343 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: still feel the same. They don't know it's psychological. 344 00:17:12,521 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 4: Wow, that's how serious it is. I mean, like so 345 00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:18,521 Speaker 4: many of these are so normalized and joked about, but 346 00:17:18,561 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 4: it's not something to joke about. 347 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: Research has shown that people who spend at least thirty 348 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,360 Speaker 1: minutes a day on social media, are more likely to 349 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: see their own body in a negative light wow, and 350 00:17:29,321 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: be more aware of their body. So I think the 351 00:17:31,321 --> 00:17:35,441 Speaker 1: rise of social media has definitely contributed and reinforced people's 352 00:17:35,561 --> 00:17:40,321 Speaker 1: dissatisfaction with their appearance, especially with filters, especially with you know, 353 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:43,120 Speaker 1: all the things that people do to look effective and 354 00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:47,921 Speaker 1: look beautiful on social media. I think it's not reported 355 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: enough because people think it's not a psychological thing. I 356 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,961 Speaker 1: just hate my nose, I just hate my forehead, so 357 00:17:55,001 --> 00:17:57,761 Speaker 1: they won't go seek help. So I think it's underreported, 358 00:17:58,441 --> 00:18:02,281 Speaker 1: but it's definitely more common than we think. It's just 359 00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:05,561 Speaker 1: normalized because everyone's like, oh, yeah, I hate this, Yeah, 360 00:18:05,561 --> 00:18:09,160 Speaker 1: I hate this. You know in Mean Girls, the movie 361 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,041 Speaker 1: how they all like, what are you not like about yourself? 362 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: And the girls like, I have really bad breath in 363 00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:17,120 Speaker 1: the morning and she couldn't identify it. So it's so 364 00:18:17,201 --> 00:18:19,681 Speaker 1: normal for us to pick on flaws in our appearance 365 00:18:19,721 --> 00:18:21,041 Speaker 1: and we almost bond over that. 366 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 4: Yes, I wouldn't think that would be ever something I 367 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,120 Speaker 4: would go to a psychologist about. Is like, oh I 368 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,561 Speaker 4: don't like my stomach. Yeah, So that's important for people 369 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,481 Speaker 4: to hear that if you are struggling with this, and 370 00:18:32,721 --> 00:18:35,481 Speaker 4: like you said, all of these disorders and mental health issues, 371 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 4: if it's affecting your day to day life and for 372 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,041 Speaker 4: a long period of time, you should be seeking help, 373 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 4: right absolutely, yes, yeah, And let's move on to OCD ah. 374 00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:50,321 Speaker 1: Yes. Obsessive compulsive disorder. So this comes from the obsessive 375 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,321 Speaker 1: and compulsive category of the DSM five and it's characterized 376 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:59,921 Speaker 1: by having intrusive thoughts or obsessive thoughts which cause anxiety, 377 00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:02,281 Speaker 1: and then in an attempt to get rid of that anxiety, 378 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:07,561 Speaker 1: people engage in rituals or behaviors trying to neutralize or 379 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,281 Speaker 1: get rid of the anxiety. So, for example, you might 380 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 1: touch a doorhandle and think, oh my gosh, I've got germs, 381 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,481 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get sick and need to do something otherwise 382 00:19:16,521 --> 00:19:19,441 Speaker 1: I'm going to die, and so you wash your hands 383 00:19:19,481 --> 00:19:22,561 Speaker 1: to get rid of the anxiety that the thought brings. 384 00:19:23,321 --> 00:19:27,521 Speaker 1: But again, this causes so much distress. People can spend 385 00:19:27,721 --> 00:19:31,360 Speaker 1: up to six hours a day thinking about this or more. 386 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 1: I've had people washing their hands sixty nine times a day, 387 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 1: you know. And there's different categories. So you've got germophobia, 388 00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:43,281 Speaker 1: which is the percupation of gems and contamination. You can 389 00:19:43,321 --> 00:19:47,161 Speaker 1: have hoarding disorder, you can have you know, religious OCD. 390 00:19:47,481 --> 00:19:49,360 Speaker 1: You can have intrusive thoughts. 391 00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 4: Around religious OCD. What's that? 392 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, just having sort of strange preoccupations and thoughts around 393 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,281 Speaker 1: doing certain things, having specific rituals, and if you don't 394 00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:02,801 Speaker 1: do that, something bad's going to happen. 395 00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 4: I spoke about an episode when Steve goes away and 396 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 4: how nervous I get. I suppose I have traits of 397 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 4: OCD because I go around and lock the doors a 398 00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:12,880 Speaker 4: million times, and when I lay there, I go and 399 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,880 Speaker 4: check them again, feeling paranoid that I haven't locked the doors. Yes, 400 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 4: And then my whole night I just don't sleep when 401 00:20:18,681 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 4: he's not there because I'm constantly worried if something's going 402 00:20:21,441 --> 00:20:24,360 Speaker 4: to happen, and I think of these crazy scenarios and 403 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,481 Speaker 4: things that can happen, and I'll go lock the doors again, 404 00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 4: I'll check on the kids again, and it's just so consuming. 405 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,281 Speaker 4: But it only happens when my husband goes away. 406 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,120 Speaker 1: And I think a really important thing to ask yourself, 407 00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: And this is what I tell all the people I 408 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:40,360 Speaker 1: work with, is given the circumstance, is it reasonable? And 409 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,961 Speaker 1: I think, given the circumstance that your husband's away, it's 410 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,001 Speaker 1: reasonable to want to check the doors. Yeah, but say 411 00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: you're checking the doors three times a day when there's 412 00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:52,321 Speaker 1: been no reason to and it's causing distress, then okay, 413 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,120 Speaker 1: maybe it's not reasonable given the circumstances. Similar with your 414 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,201 Speaker 1: pregnancy story earlier. Given the circumstances, I think it's really 415 00:21:00,241 --> 00:21:01,561 Speaker 1: reasonable to have a bit of help. 416 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 4: That's very validating, I think for people to hear. And 417 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,961 Speaker 4: there's also like, I mean, simple solution for me is 418 00:21:07,961 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 4: when he goes away, I have girlfriends stay open now 419 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,920 Speaker 4: and like when they're there, I don't even think about it. 420 00:21:11,961 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 4: I might like have a moment to get scared and 421 00:21:14,001 --> 00:21:15,961 Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I'm okay, someone else is here. I've 422 00:21:15,961 --> 00:21:18,120 Speaker 4: got a new neighbor and I feel safe of just 423 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,961 Speaker 4: having his number. So I've put things in place that 424 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,561 Speaker 4: helps like ease it a little bit now, which is. 425 00:21:22,521 --> 00:21:25,961 Speaker 1: Cool, perfect and just being aware of it. And yeah, 426 00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:27,401 Speaker 1: I think what you said earlier, I think we can 427 00:21:27,441 --> 00:21:30,880 Speaker 1: throw around the term oh it's my OCD or. But 428 00:21:30,921 --> 00:21:34,521 Speaker 1: what PHO don't realize is just how debilitating it is. 429 00:21:35,041 --> 00:21:38,681 Speaker 1: You know, people are not leaving their houses. People are 430 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:43,121 Speaker 1: carrying around certain sanitizers or things to just be able 431 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:44,880 Speaker 1: to take their kids to the park. 432 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,961 Speaker 4: Consuming, right, just consuming. 433 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:52,281 Speaker 1: Especially for loved ones and partners if left unmanaged, Yeah, 434 00:21:52,281 --> 00:21:54,120 Speaker 1: that can turn into a goraphobia and not wanting to 435 00:21:54,201 --> 00:21:54,840 Speaker 1: leave your home. 436 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,200 Speaker 3: So even the effects on your body itself through so 437 00:21:59,281 --> 00:22:00,001 Speaker 3: much stress. 438 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,841 Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah. 439 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:04,241 Speaker 4: When I spoke about that episode with the intrusive thoughts, 440 00:22:04,241 --> 00:22:06,681 Speaker 4: I had one mom so that she totally relates, but 441 00:22:06,761 --> 00:22:08,761 Speaker 4: on a whole new level of like she won't take 442 00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 4: her kids to the park, she won't go grocery shopping. 443 00:22:10,681 --> 00:22:13,241 Speaker 4: She does like the auder online it's delivered because she's 444 00:22:13,241 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 4: so scared of something happening to her children. Then imagine 445 00:22:16,521 --> 00:22:18,281 Speaker 4: her kids growing up with that. They're now going to 446 00:22:18,281 --> 00:22:20,321 Speaker 4: be too scared because they think the world's so scary, 447 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 4: thing's going to happen, Like it's a role on effect. 448 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,441 Speaker 1: And they witness these and there's strong genetic vulnerability as 449 00:22:26,481 --> 00:22:29,001 Speaker 1: well if a parent has OCD. But I think the 450 00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:32,641 Speaker 1: main difference is people can have intrusive thoughts and like, oh, 451 00:22:32,761 --> 00:22:34,920 Speaker 1: that was a bit uncomfortable. Ninety percent of people do 452 00:22:35,041 --> 00:22:39,041 Speaker 1: have intrusive thoughts, but it's the fear that it's actually 453 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,041 Speaker 1: going to play out or you're going to act on it, 454 00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:43,521 Speaker 1: like you might have an intrusive thought of with your 455 00:22:43,521 --> 00:22:46,161 Speaker 1: mother in law or something. But people are worried they're 456 00:22:46,201 --> 00:22:48,400 Speaker 1: going to actually act it out or they are going 457 00:22:48,481 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 1: to do something to their baby or their child. 458 00:22:51,321 --> 00:22:54,041 Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's when once again you would seek help exactly. 459 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:54,360 Speaker 2: Yes. 460 00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:56,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, and then we've got ADHD. 461 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,200 Speaker 4: Yeah. I have a lot of like questions around this 462 00:23:00,281 --> 00:23:02,321 Speaker 4: because this is just all over social media. I feel 463 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:04,241 Speaker 4: like everyone is self diagnosing. I don't know if it's 464 00:23:04,281 --> 00:23:06,680 Speaker 4: been over die knows to children as well, But I 465 00:23:06,681 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 4: would love to unpark this a lot deeper with you. 466 00:23:09,561 --> 00:23:10,601 Speaker 4: What is it to start with? 467 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, So, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a type of 468 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 1: neuro developmental disorder, which means it happens in the brain 469 00:23:20,041 --> 00:23:22,680 Speaker 1: and you're born with it. So all that means is 470 00:23:22,921 --> 00:23:25,241 Speaker 1: we have this part of our brain here frontal lobe, 471 00:23:25,241 --> 00:23:29,600 Speaker 1: which is responsible for executive functioning, our organizing, our planning, 472 00:23:29,721 --> 00:23:34,441 Speaker 1: our processing, speed, ability to do tasks, get started on tasks, 473 00:23:34,801 --> 00:23:38,921 Speaker 1: and people with ADHD struggle with this because the way 474 00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:43,201 Speaker 1: the brain was you know, typically expected to develop developed 475 00:23:43,321 --> 00:23:46,681 Speaker 1: a bit differently, and this is why it's called neurodivergent 476 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,761 Speaker 1: because the brain has developed in a different way, and 477 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:57,640 Speaker 1: people with ADHD struggle with these parts of life organizing, planning, cooking. 478 00:23:57,681 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: It's called your executive functioning. So if you think of 479 00:24:00,041 --> 00:24:02,001 Speaker 1: that part of your brain as the CEO, it's the 480 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: executive to get stuff done. And people that actually have 481 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:11,721 Speaker 1: lower levels of access to dopamine and not epinephrin. 482 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, what's that second one? 483 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,281 Speaker 1: Yeah, So not epinephrine is the neurotransmitter that helps you 484 00:24:17,321 --> 00:24:20,041 Speaker 1: get started on tasks, that says, Okay, we need to go, 485 00:24:20,201 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 1: we need to initiate. So that's why they procrastinate, and 486 00:24:24,241 --> 00:24:27,201 Speaker 1: then the procrastination leads to anxiety and then that leads 487 00:24:27,201 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 1: to a whole self worth spiral. Yeah yeah. Whereas dopamine 488 00:24:31,241 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: is the feel good hormone, it's that pleasure seeking and 489 00:24:36,001 --> 00:24:39,041 Speaker 1: because people that actually have lower levels, they're searching for 490 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:43,121 Speaker 1: it in other places, so food, you know, risky behavior, 491 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: there's impulsivity there, substance use disorders, and that's sort of 492 00:24:48,281 --> 00:24:50,441 Speaker 1: the main characteristics of it. 493 00:24:51,681 --> 00:24:57,041 Speaker 3: Hey again, you get that from doing coal plunges, don't you. 494 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,121 Speaker 3: Doesn't that give me because that's why when I'm struggling 495 00:24:59,160 --> 00:24:59,640 Speaker 3: to focus or. 496 00:24:59,681 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 4: Jump in the pool because I heard. 497 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:06,640 Speaker 1: Someone talk about that before. And focus, focus, concentrate, maintaining 498 00:25:06,681 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: your focus. They're a big part of ADHD. So people 499 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,321 Speaker 1: with ADHD struggle with that. There's three types. So there's 500 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: the inattentive ADHD profile, which is more struggling to focus 501 00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:23,881 Speaker 1: maintain that awareness. And then there's the hyperactive impulsive one 502 00:25:23,921 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: and that's sort of the kids you see jumping on 503 00:25:26,281 --> 00:25:29,200 Speaker 1: the chairs, and it was under diagnosed back in the 504 00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:32,720 Speaker 1: day because it looks different in women. They may not 505 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:37,321 Speaker 1: have this hyperactive impulsive type of presentation. And then there's 506 00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: the combined which is inattention and hyperactivity impulsivity combined. 507 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,961 Speaker 4: Wow, how is it diagnosed? 508 00:25:45,521 --> 00:25:45,761 Speaker 1: Yeah? 509 00:25:45,921 --> 00:25:47,041 Speaker 4: Really good, that's a good question. 510 00:25:47,761 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 1: So who can diagnose it? A psychologist and a psychiatrist 511 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,921 Speaker 1: In adults, I'm gonna speak more about adults ADHD. It's 512 00:25:55,001 --> 00:25:59,201 Speaker 1: diagnosed by doing a clinical interview. So first your clinician 513 00:25:59,241 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: will go through your history, your schooling, understanding your symptoms, 514 00:26:03,721 --> 00:26:06,041 Speaker 1: is there ADHD in your family, and this is a 515 00:26:06,041 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: pretty standard process for any diagnosis, any assessment, and then 516 00:26:10,681 --> 00:26:14,200 Speaker 1: we use a range of questionnaires and assessments so that 517 00:26:14,321 --> 00:26:17,280 Speaker 1: look at how your brain is operating the way you 518 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:22,241 Speaker 1: think impulsivity focus. But it has to have been occurring 519 00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:25,160 Speaker 1: for a long time. So if you're someone who's just 520 00:26:25,201 --> 00:26:29,001 Speaker 1: noticed you're struggling with attention and focus, but it hasn't 521 00:26:29,041 --> 00:26:33,001 Speaker 1: really been a problem, it's probably likely to be something else. Yeah, 522 00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:35,880 Speaker 1: So when we do those assessments, we look at the data, 523 00:26:36,321 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 1: we're able to track it back. It's been present since 524 00:26:39,561 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: childhood and it's still affecting your day to day life 525 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,241 Speaker 1: as well. 526 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,561 Speaker 4: Yeah, so hearing some of the traits that these people 527 00:26:47,561 --> 00:26:51,041 Speaker 4: are suffering with, is that why do you think people 528 00:26:51,041 --> 00:26:53,441 Speaker 4: are self diagnosing because they're just like, oh, I can't concentrate, 529 00:26:53,521 --> 00:26:54,400 Speaker 4: I've got ADHD. 530 00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:57,801 Speaker 1: Many people who do think they have it do have 531 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,281 Speaker 1: it a lot of the time, and the reason is 532 00:27:01,321 --> 00:27:06,481 Speaker 1: because it wasn't picked up on anywhere. Right children, as 533 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,561 Speaker 1: young women, you sort of sit at the back of 534 00:27:08,561 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 1: the classroom, you like, don't pick me, don't pick me. 535 00:27:10,961 --> 00:27:14,001 Speaker 1: You sort of get by, and especially in the younger years, 536 00:27:14,041 --> 00:27:16,481 Speaker 1: you know, kids are sort of pushed through and encouraged 537 00:27:16,481 --> 00:27:20,921 Speaker 1: and if you don't have that overly hyperactive presentation, then 538 00:27:21,001 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 1: it's not really picked up on. Women can internalize a 539 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: little bit more that impulsivity in hyperactivity is more in 540 00:27:28,001 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: your thoughts, overthinking, you know, analyzing, going back over your steps. 541 00:27:33,801 --> 00:27:36,241 Speaker 1: And to answer your question Ash. 542 00:27:36,281 --> 00:27:39,961 Speaker 4: Which was just about having a self diagnosing because they 543 00:27:40,001 --> 00:27:43,681 Speaker 4: have one symptom of a concentrator, I'm so unproductive. 544 00:27:44,001 --> 00:27:46,801 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and I think it's important to know that, yes, 545 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,761 Speaker 1: we all have those symptoms at some point in your life, 546 00:27:50,041 --> 00:27:53,321 Speaker 1: retired and if we have it. But this causes a 547 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:57,321 Speaker 1: lot of distress. There's also emotion, just regulation, struggling to 548 00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 1: control your emotions. It affects your relationships because you're impulsive. 549 00:28:02,201 --> 00:28:06,321 Speaker 1: You might jump from relationship to relationship. Your jobs, people 550 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,321 Speaker 1: might jump from job to job. It affects your self worth. 551 00:28:09,441 --> 00:28:13,640 Speaker 1: And eighty percent of people with ADHD have another comorbid 552 00:28:13,681 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 1: mental health condition such as anxiety or depression. 553 00:28:16,921 --> 00:28:20,041 Speaker 4: Yeah, I know this is controversial, but do you think 554 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 4: that our lifestyle and diet contributes to this? 555 00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:28,521 Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. I think it is a controversial, 556 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:34,161 Speaker 1: challenging topic. But we are so overstimulated in today's. 557 00:28:33,801 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 4: Society, over consuming so much. 558 00:28:36,120 --> 00:28:39,041 Speaker 1: My tension span has changed and I don't have ADHD. 559 00:28:39,201 --> 00:28:42,681 Speaker 1: You know, even just watching a video, I put it 560 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,281 Speaker 1: on fast speed, like why are they talking so slow? 561 00:28:45,961 --> 00:28:47,761 Speaker 4: You know podcasts too. 562 00:28:47,881 --> 00:28:51,641 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it plays a big role, especially your upbringing. 563 00:28:51,681 --> 00:28:54,561 Speaker 1: You know, if you were around our parents, or you 564 00:28:54,601 --> 00:28:58,521 Speaker 1: were you know, witnessing I guess in attention or you 565 00:28:58,561 --> 00:29:00,921 Speaker 1: know food. Yes, it can all play a role, but 566 00:29:00,961 --> 00:29:04,281 Speaker 1: we need to remember that there's usually multiple things that, yeah, 567 00:29:04,481 --> 00:29:05,401 Speaker 1: contribute to it. 568 00:29:05,481 --> 00:29:07,801 Speaker 4: They have done studies with some children when they change 569 00:29:07,841 --> 00:29:10,801 Speaker 4: their diet that like so many of the symptoms decrease, 570 00:29:10,881 --> 00:29:12,961 Speaker 4: and then they don't actually put them on medication because 571 00:29:12,961 --> 00:29:15,721 Speaker 4: it is manageable through a lot of their lifestyle choices, 572 00:29:15,761 --> 00:29:17,601 Speaker 4: which is pretty cool, I think for people to explore 573 00:29:17,681 --> 00:29:18,961 Speaker 4: before they go on medication. 574 00:29:19,321 --> 00:29:19,641 Speaker 1: Yeah. 575 00:29:19,681 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 4: Absolutely, I'm saying that with such a question because I'm 576 00:29:21,521 --> 00:29:23,561 Speaker 4: wondering and it's. 577 00:29:23,401 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: A tricky one, right because ADHD medication is very different 578 00:29:26,961 --> 00:29:31,001 Speaker 1: to say, antidepressants and anti anxiety. Oh okay, how yeah, 579 00:29:31,081 --> 00:29:36,761 Speaker 1: So ADHD medication are usually stimulants. So stimulants stimulate the 580 00:29:36,801 --> 00:29:39,921 Speaker 1: frontal lobe and they quieten the noise, so people they 581 00:29:39,961 --> 00:29:42,761 Speaker 1: actually can focus on one thing at a time, similar 582 00:29:42,801 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 1: to caffeine. Right, you feel a bit like more switched on. Right, 583 00:29:46,521 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: You're ready to go? And with ADHD meds, and I 584 00:29:49,801 --> 00:29:51,761 Speaker 1: just want to put a disclaimer. I'm not a psychiatrist. 585 00:29:51,801 --> 00:29:55,001 Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor, but have studied psychopharmacology so I 586 00:29:55,041 --> 00:29:57,881 Speaker 1: know a bit about it. You don't need to take 587 00:29:57,921 --> 00:30:01,601 Speaker 1: it every single day like an antidepressant. With antidepressants or 588 00:30:01,601 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: anti anxiety, it needs to be really consistent, whereas your stimulate. 589 00:30:05,401 --> 00:30:07,041 Speaker 1: If you've got a really busy day at work, you 590 00:30:07,121 --> 00:30:09,801 Speaker 1: can take it and it's kind of like Cinderella at 591 00:30:09,841 --> 00:30:11,881 Speaker 1: twelve o'clock, you can go back to being a pumpkin. 592 00:30:12,081 --> 00:30:16,121 Speaker 1: You know, not thank you, but the effects will wear off. 593 00:30:16,321 --> 00:30:19,641 Speaker 1: But everyone is such a case by case approach. Some 594 00:30:19,721 --> 00:30:23,161 Speaker 1: people may not need or want medication. Some people may 595 00:30:23,241 --> 00:30:27,161 Speaker 1: find it really useful. So yes, if you can notice 596 00:30:27,241 --> 00:30:30,321 Speaker 1: changes without having to go on meds, that's amazing. But 597 00:30:30,401 --> 00:30:32,561 Speaker 1: I also think there's a lot of stigma around medication 598 00:30:32,681 --> 00:30:33,081 Speaker 1: as well. 599 00:30:33,401 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, because I've got a girlfriend who recently got diagnosed, 600 00:30:36,761 --> 00:30:40,161 Speaker 4: and she's recently gone on medication, and she has tried 601 00:30:40,241 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 4: being really healthy and doing all these things, but exactly 602 00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:44,281 Speaker 4: how you explain. Now, she doesn't take it every day, 603 00:30:44,761 --> 00:30:46,361 Speaker 4: but most days she does, and now she's like I 604 00:30:46,401 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 4: can actually concentrate and finish one task and then move 605 00:30:49,761 --> 00:30:51,240 Speaker 4: on to the next where she felt like she had 606 00:30:51,481 --> 00:30:53,921 Speaker 4: one hundred tabs open all the time, and just then 607 00:30:53,961 --> 00:30:56,241 Speaker 4: we'll get overwhelmed and throw it all and go distract 608 00:30:56,281 --> 00:30:58,440 Speaker 4: and watch TV yes, or like go party or go 609 00:30:58,521 --> 00:31:00,641 Speaker 4: do something because it was just too much. Because now 610 00:31:00,721 --> 00:31:02,601 Speaker 4: she feels like a brain can be like, Okay, I've 611 00:31:02,641 --> 00:31:04,321 Speaker 4: got to get this task done. I can get it done. 612 00:31:04,561 --> 00:31:04,761 Speaker 3: Yeah. 613 00:31:05,201 --> 00:31:07,281 Speaker 4: Interesting it is and what works, you. 614 00:31:07,281 --> 00:31:09,921 Speaker 1: Know, if you find it's helpful. And I'm all about 615 00:31:10,481 --> 00:31:12,961 Speaker 1: using other strategies as well, but if someone does have 616 00:31:13,041 --> 00:31:16,641 Speaker 1: stigma around medication, I really encourage them to explore it 617 00:31:16,841 --> 00:31:18,361 Speaker 1: and explore Wedthers has come from. 618 00:31:18,961 --> 00:31:19,081 Speaker 3: You know. 619 00:31:19,121 --> 00:31:21,681 Speaker 1: I had a DM recently from a girl saying I'm 620 00:31:21,841 --> 00:31:24,121 Speaker 1: really sure I have it, but my mum's very spiritual 621 00:31:24,201 --> 00:31:25,801 Speaker 1: and doesn't believe in it, and I don't know how 622 00:31:25,841 --> 00:31:28,401 Speaker 1: to navigate that, so it's tricky. 623 00:31:28,641 --> 00:31:30,121 Speaker 4: Another one I just thought of that i'd love you 624 00:31:30,201 --> 00:31:33,401 Speaker 4: to talk about is binge eating. Yeah, that seems really 625 00:31:33,641 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 4: really common, so. 626 00:31:35,241 --> 00:31:38,960 Speaker 1: Common with people with ADHD, but also not with ADHD, 627 00:31:39,041 --> 00:31:41,521 Speaker 1: and I think there was a rise the number of 628 00:31:41,561 --> 00:31:45,641 Speaker 1: people who struggled with binge eating throughout COVID escalated because 629 00:31:45,641 --> 00:31:48,441 Speaker 1: we didn't have access to things that gave us dopamine, 630 00:31:49,081 --> 00:31:51,841 Speaker 1: the gym, we couldn't see our friends. We go out 631 00:31:51,841 --> 00:31:57,801 Speaker 1: to restaurants, so food became that dopamine sensation seeking thing. 632 00:31:58,001 --> 00:32:01,521 Speaker 1: It's easily accessible. There's a lot less judgment around that 633 00:32:01,761 --> 00:32:05,841 Speaker 1: compared to say drugs or alcohol, isn't it? That's so true? Yeah, 634 00:32:06,281 --> 00:32:10,321 Speaker 1: but a large percentage of people, women especially do struggle 635 00:32:10,521 --> 00:32:13,801 Speaker 1: with binge eating. And then we've got binge eating disorder, 636 00:32:13,841 --> 00:32:16,521 Speaker 1: which comes in the eating disorder category. 637 00:32:16,961 --> 00:32:18,841 Speaker 4: What kind of help is that out there for binge eating? 638 00:32:18,881 --> 00:32:20,601 Speaker 4: Like it's obviously not medication you can go on? 639 00:32:20,721 --> 00:32:23,481 Speaker 1: Or is it with binge eating disorder? It's one of 640 00:32:23,481 --> 00:32:26,161 Speaker 1: those eating disorders. It's not always about weight, shape and size. 641 00:32:26,521 --> 00:32:29,281 Speaker 1: People might be binge eating because there's trauma. 642 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:32,681 Speaker 4: It's like a distractional way to a coping mechanism, right. 643 00:32:32,881 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 1: Copin mechanism. Maybe something happened when they were younger, and 644 00:32:35,281 --> 00:32:39,561 Speaker 1: they're eating to make themselves be what they perceive is undesirable. 645 00:32:39,641 --> 00:32:42,121 Speaker 1: So they don't get attention because something might have happened 646 00:32:42,121 --> 00:32:44,641 Speaker 1: when they were young. But in terms of treatment, it's 647 00:32:44,841 --> 00:32:48,361 Speaker 1: really important to focus on eating structure, making sure the 648 00:32:48,441 --> 00:32:51,401 Speaker 1: person's eating throughout the day, because many people will not 649 00:32:51,681 --> 00:32:54,401 Speaker 1: eat throughout the day and then the binge eating happens 650 00:32:54,441 --> 00:32:58,521 Speaker 1: at night. Right. Emotion regulation, making sure they've got strategies 651 00:32:58,721 --> 00:33:01,361 Speaker 1: so they're not using food to self regulate, and then 652 00:33:01,441 --> 00:33:03,841 Speaker 1: just working on body image and self worth because that 653 00:33:04,161 --> 00:33:06,641 Speaker 1: really enforces dissatisfaction. 654 00:33:07,001 --> 00:33:10,561 Speaker 4: Beautiful, and that's probably working with someone like yourself for 655 00:33:10,681 --> 00:33:13,641 Speaker 4: a longer period of time. Yes, it's not a one session. 656 00:33:15,121 --> 00:33:19,681 Speaker 1: Disorders take one to six years to really really manage. 657 00:33:21,321 --> 00:33:24,121 Speaker 4: And say, in the last six months twelve months, what 658 00:33:24,201 --> 00:33:26,601 Speaker 4: would you say is the most prominent issue that women 659 00:33:26,681 --> 00:33:27,361 Speaker 4: are struggling with. 660 00:33:27,681 --> 00:33:30,721 Speaker 1: Oh, that's a good one. Initially you want to say 661 00:33:30,841 --> 00:33:36,201 Speaker 1: anxiety depression, but I believe there's symptoms of other things. Yes, 662 00:33:36,561 --> 00:33:38,801 Speaker 1: because obviously when you see a doctor, they have to 663 00:33:38,841 --> 00:33:41,041 Speaker 1: put something on your mental health plan to see a 664 00:33:41,121 --> 00:33:45,401 Speaker 1: psych and anxiety and depression is sort of the really 665 00:33:45,441 --> 00:33:50,001 Speaker 1: standard symptoms we get. But I think eating disorders are 666 00:33:50,201 --> 00:33:53,401 Speaker 1: so prominent. One in four women who go on a 667 00:33:53,481 --> 00:33:56,761 Speaker 1: diet or restrict at some point will go on to 668 00:33:56,841 --> 00:34:00,441 Speaker 1: develop disordered eating or an eating disorder, but they don't 669 00:34:00,481 --> 00:34:03,241 Speaker 1: often get help for that. It's the side effects, the anxiety. 670 00:34:03,601 --> 00:34:07,521 Speaker 1: It's the depression, which very common. But again, what is 671 00:34:07,561 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 1: the most common eating disorder versus what are people going 672 00:34:10,561 --> 00:34:11,201 Speaker 1: to get help for? 673 00:34:11,681 --> 00:34:15,241 Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I remember seeing a start. I can't remember 674 00:34:15,281 --> 00:34:17,681 Speaker 4: what it is. You might know it, but I think 675 00:34:17,721 --> 00:34:20,681 Speaker 4: it was up in the high eighties eighty something percent 676 00:34:20,881 --> 00:34:24,361 Speaker 4: of women or maybe men too, that haven't eaten, sort 677 00:34:24,361 --> 00:34:28,201 Speaker 4: of like anorexia is from being sexually assault when they're younger, 678 00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:32,361 Speaker 4: like most of it stems from a sexual assault when 679 00:34:32,401 --> 00:34:33,121 Speaker 4: they were a little girl. 680 00:34:33,681 --> 00:34:38,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, there definitely are some links between sexual assaults or 681 00:34:38,761 --> 00:34:42,041 Speaker 1: abuse as a young person and then the later development, 682 00:34:42,321 --> 00:34:47,321 Speaker 1: particularly of anorexiinivosa even binge eating disorder as well, But 683 00:34:47,441 --> 00:34:50,241 Speaker 1: again case by case approach, But it could be people 684 00:34:50,361 --> 00:34:53,921 Speaker 1: just wanting to relinquish control over some part of their life. 685 00:34:54,241 --> 00:34:57,921 Speaker 1: I worked with a lady who had severe anorexia, and 686 00:34:58,081 --> 00:35:02,081 Speaker 1: she had significant trauma, and in that trauma, she was told, 687 00:35:02,161 --> 00:35:04,361 Speaker 1: if you ever put on weight, you know we're going 688 00:35:04,441 --> 00:35:07,761 Speaker 1: to come find you. And she had to stay thin 689 00:35:07,801 --> 00:35:10,361 Speaker 1: because she thought she wouldn't be seen. So it's very 690 00:35:10,441 --> 00:35:12,961 Speaker 1: powerful how you can be brainwashed as a young person. 691 00:35:14,161 --> 00:35:16,201 Speaker 4: Yeah, I had a girlfriend that had it. She was 692 00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,361 Speaker 4: in and out of hospital and now she's out the 693 00:35:18,401 --> 00:35:21,001 Speaker 4: other side. She said it was just she felt like 694 00:35:21,081 --> 00:35:23,001 Speaker 4: she was losing control of everything in her life. She 695 00:35:23,161 --> 00:35:24,881 Speaker 4: was sexually decided when she was younger, and she felt 696 00:35:24,921 --> 00:35:28,241 Speaker 4: like she lost her power then and then through taking 697 00:35:28,281 --> 00:35:30,601 Speaker 4: control of her food and getting as skinny as possible, 698 00:35:31,001 --> 00:35:33,401 Speaker 4: the only things she could control. She couldn't control what 699 00:35:33,481 --> 00:35:35,521 Speaker 4: that person did to her. She couldn't control the anxious 700 00:35:35,561 --> 00:35:38,441 Speaker 4: thoughts she had, the shame she was carrying. But food, 701 00:35:38,681 --> 00:35:40,201 Speaker 4: you bet you, I can control that, and that makes 702 00:35:40,241 --> 00:35:42,161 Speaker 4: me feel like I'm in my power and no one 703 00:35:42,201 --> 00:35:43,561 Speaker 4: can take that from me because no one can force 704 00:35:43,601 --> 00:35:45,961 Speaker 4: me to eat. So that's what it was addictive for 705 00:35:46,081 --> 00:35:48,841 Speaker 4: her to stay skinny and have that power. I was like, 706 00:35:48,921 --> 00:35:52,361 Speaker 4: that makes so much sense. I can totally see. Yeah, 707 00:35:52,801 --> 00:35:53,241 Speaker 4: for sure. 708 00:35:54,401 --> 00:36:01,241 Speaker 1: It's also reinforced in today's society. Look, yeah, I don't know. 709 00:36:01,361 --> 00:36:05,841 Speaker 1: Someone could lose weight because of trauma, stressed, they're unwell. 710 00:36:06,361 --> 00:36:09,281 Speaker 1: So I think as a society we need to be 711 00:36:09,361 --> 00:36:11,041 Speaker 1: aware of commenting on and vice. 712 00:36:11,121 --> 00:36:13,001 Speaker 4: First, Oh, like I get it all the time, like 713 00:36:13,121 --> 00:36:15,241 Speaker 4: other too musty, I'm too skinny, I'm too fat, I'm 714 00:36:15,281 --> 00:36:17,361 Speaker 4: too this. And I was like you can't be saying 715 00:36:17,401 --> 00:36:18,921 Speaker 4: that to people. I get ask when I'm pregnant. 716 00:36:18,921 --> 00:36:22,641 Speaker 3: I got asked like last week, Oh, that's right, are pregnant, 717 00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,201 Speaker 3: And I was like, no, I'm actually a woman, and 718 00:36:24,321 --> 00:36:25,961 Speaker 3: I'm right before my period and this is how my 719 00:36:25,961 --> 00:36:26,681 Speaker 3: body changes. 720 00:36:28,001 --> 00:36:30,001 Speaker 4: I kind of saying that's normal and all of us 721 00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:32,241 Speaker 4: have a flat stomach twenty four hours a day, three 722 00:36:32,281 --> 00:36:35,241 Speaker 4: and sixty five days of the year. Yeah, it's sad 723 00:36:35,281 --> 00:36:37,001 Speaker 4: the comments get thrown around, and it could be that 724 00:36:37,121 --> 00:36:39,561 Speaker 4: one comment. So people when they say, what was this 725 00:36:39,641 --> 00:36:42,561 Speaker 4: saying sticks and stones may break my bones, but words 726 00:36:42,561 --> 00:36:45,121 Speaker 4: will never hurt me, kay, But words actually gosh so 727 00:36:45,401 --> 00:36:49,561 Speaker 4: much so damaging. Your comment could be the one comment 728 00:36:49,601 --> 00:36:51,041 Speaker 4: that tips someone over the edge or puts them on 729 00:36:51,081 --> 00:36:53,921 Speaker 4: a path. Now, for anyone who's listening who has never 730 00:36:54,081 --> 00:36:56,961 Speaker 4: gone to psychologists, I've never seen anyone for help, Like 731 00:36:57,241 --> 00:36:59,961 Speaker 4: it is scary. Yeah, it is foreign to one put 732 00:36:59,961 --> 00:37:02,241 Speaker 4: your hand up and say hey, I need help, to 733 00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:05,481 Speaker 4: actually acknowledge that, but to act on actually booking session 734 00:37:06,081 --> 00:37:09,561 Speaker 4: and then thirdly actually going and turning up. What advice 735 00:37:09,641 --> 00:37:12,561 Speaker 4: do you have for people that are just so shit scared? Like, 736 00:37:12,681 --> 00:37:14,881 Speaker 4: you're not scary, You're very friendly, but you know, it. 737 00:37:14,961 --> 00:37:18,041 Speaker 1: Is a scary, scary. When I was going through my 738 00:37:18,161 --> 00:37:21,440 Speaker 1: own eating disort of growing up, I didn't seek help 739 00:37:21,681 --> 00:37:25,081 Speaker 1: for ages because no one spoke about it. I had 740 00:37:25,161 --> 00:37:27,561 Speaker 1: this idea that I needed to sort it out. And 741 00:37:27,681 --> 00:37:29,881 Speaker 1: I think as well as women, we just think we 742 00:37:29,921 --> 00:37:31,521 Speaker 1: should be able to sort it out, we should be 743 00:37:31,601 --> 00:37:34,921 Speaker 1: on top of it. But the good thing is step 744 00:37:35,001 --> 00:37:37,881 Speaker 1: one is identifying that something's not right. And you know 745 00:37:38,001 --> 00:37:40,041 Speaker 1: what's the cost if you keep going down this path 746 00:37:40,121 --> 00:37:43,761 Speaker 1: and you don't get help Versus it's an initial scary 747 00:37:44,481 --> 00:37:48,481 Speaker 1: cost of seeing someone. I'd recommend that people research online, 748 00:37:48,681 --> 00:37:51,961 Speaker 1: find someone you connect with important. Yeah, you can do 749 00:37:52,081 --> 00:37:54,201 Speaker 1: that nowadays. You know, back in the day a doctor 750 00:37:54,281 --> 00:37:57,041 Speaker 1: just referred to to anyone. But you can actually go online, 751 00:37:57,321 --> 00:38:00,201 Speaker 1: find someone with you know what you're looking for. Do 752 00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:03,201 Speaker 1: they deal with anxiety, do they deal with depression? And 753 00:38:03,241 --> 00:38:05,201 Speaker 1: then see if they have availability and you can be 754 00:38:05,281 --> 00:38:09,161 Speaker 1: referred to them specifically. And the third thing is write 755 00:38:09,241 --> 00:38:11,281 Speaker 1: things down, so at least when you go in there, 756 00:38:11,281 --> 00:38:13,241 Speaker 1: if you do have a mental blank or you're anxious, 757 00:38:13,561 --> 00:38:15,481 Speaker 1: you can say, you know what, I wrote some notes, 758 00:38:15,721 --> 00:38:16,761 Speaker 1: I just want to go over it. 759 00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:21,041 Speaker 4: Such good advice. That's great, such good advice. Thank you 760 00:38:21,201 --> 00:38:23,361 Speaker 4: so much for joining us. That was so informative. Like, 761 00:38:23,401 --> 00:38:25,241 Speaker 4: I've learned so much. There's some big words in that 762 00:38:25,321 --> 00:38:29,361 Speaker 4: I can't actually say say, but I've learned so much. 763 00:38:29,401 --> 00:38:30,721 Speaker 4: I feel like I want to go back and listen 764 00:38:30,761 --> 00:38:32,801 Speaker 4: to this and actually write some notes down myself, because 765 00:38:32,801 --> 00:38:35,841 Speaker 4: it's so important that we open up these conversations and 766 00:38:36,121 --> 00:38:38,841 Speaker 4: normalize talking about this and being educated so that if 767 00:38:38,841 --> 00:38:40,681 Speaker 4: we meet someone or our kids develop something, we know 768 00:38:41,041 --> 00:38:41,441 Speaker 4: what to do. 769 00:38:42,201 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, Just you know, know that you're trying 770 00:38:45,041 --> 00:38:48,721 Speaker 1: your best and mental health it's not easy. It takes work, 771 00:38:48,961 --> 00:38:52,121 Speaker 1: it takes dedication. But even if people are listening to this, 772 00:38:52,201 --> 00:38:55,201 Speaker 1: well done on investing this time to learn, yes and grow. 773 00:38:57,361 --> 00:38:58,961 Speaker 4: And if anyone wants to book a session with you, 774 00:38:59,161 --> 00:39:00,961 Speaker 4: or do you have other psychologists that work with you 775 00:39:01,041 --> 00:39:02,201 Speaker 4: as well, where can they find you. 776 00:39:02,281 --> 00:39:04,561 Speaker 1: We've got a fantastic team. They can just click the 777 00:39:04,601 --> 00:39:09,921 Speaker 1: link my profile or visit Mindfoodpsychology dot com. And we 778 00:39:10,001 --> 00:39:13,041 Speaker 1: don't just do eating disorders. We see everyone. It's easy, 779 00:39:13,121 --> 00:39:16,161 Speaker 1: it's in the comfort of your own home. Medicare rebates 780 00:39:16,321 --> 00:39:18,641 Speaker 1: oh beautiful. Yeah, just get in touch even if you've 781 00:39:18,641 --> 00:39:19,681 Speaker 1: got a question will help. 782 00:39:20,081 --> 00:39:22,161 Speaker 4: And I don't know if you mind sharing, but what 783 00:39:22,361 --> 00:39:24,401 Speaker 4: is the cost of a session with you or with 784 00:39:24,481 --> 00:39:26,041 Speaker 4: one of your team members? Because that's a question we 785 00:39:26,161 --> 00:39:27,841 Speaker 4: get asked in the forum all the time, and I 786 00:39:27,961 --> 00:39:29,961 Speaker 4: answered it and I said, I feel like it can 787 00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:32,601 Speaker 4: be one hundred to seven hundred dollars, like depending on 788 00:39:32,681 --> 00:39:35,841 Speaker 4: who the person is, the coach, the qualifications, how in 789 00:39:35,921 --> 00:39:36,561 Speaker 4: demand they are. 790 00:39:37,161 --> 00:39:40,561 Speaker 1: Yeah, good question, and it does depend. A general psychologist 791 00:39:40,681 --> 00:39:43,121 Speaker 1: usually will start at around two hundred and fifty dollars. 792 00:39:43,681 --> 00:39:46,401 Speaker 1: Clinical psychologist might be a little bit more than that, 793 00:39:47,121 --> 00:39:49,801 Speaker 1: and then the rebates, so you do get about one 794 00:39:49,921 --> 00:39:52,281 Speaker 1: hundred and forty one, but that's great medicare with a 795 00:39:52,321 --> 00:39:55,441 Speaker 1: clinical and then I think around ninety four with a 796 00:39:55,561 --> 00:39:59,601 Speaker 1: general site as well. You've got a mental health care plan, And. 797 00:39:59,641 --> 00:40:02,201 Speaker 4: Do you recommend people seeing you for a minimum of 798 00:40:02,241 --> 00:40:04,361 Speaker 4: three months or is it just like go with the flow. 799 00:40:05,121 --> 00:40:08,921 Speaker 1: I really believe the reason people may not see a 800 00:40:09,001 --> 00:40:11,281 Speaker 1: difference or get better with psychologists is because they don't 801 00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:14,481 Speaker 1: go consistently enough. It's like going to the gym. But 802 00:40:14,641 --> 00:40:17,481 Speaker 1: depending on what the issue is, it does need to 803 00:40:17,521 --> 00:40:22,841 Speaker 1: be consistent. But case by case approach, my insta and 804 00:40:23,001 --> 00:40:25,841 Speaker 1: TikTok is mind food Steph. 805 00:40:26,121 --> 00:40:29,721 Speaker 4: So cool because that's where I consume your content on TikTok. Yeah. Yeah, 806 00:40:29,881 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 4: you've got a book and a podcast as well. 807 00:40:31,681 --> 00:40:33,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on over check it out. It's called the 808 00:40:33,561 --> 00:40:36,921 Speaker 1: What's Eating You? Podcast and the book is Food Jail, 809 00:40:37,201 --> 00:40:38,721 Speaker 1: Breaking the Bars of binge Eating. 810 00:40:39,041 --> 00:40:41,641 Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so much for joining us. It's not 811 00:40:41,721 --> 00:40:43,721 Speaker 4: the end of you though. We're having you back on Wednesday, 812 00:40:43,841 --> 00:40:44,921 Speaker 4: which is really exciting. 813 00:40:45,841 --> 00:40:46,121 Speaker 1: Cool