WEBVTT - 7. Letters From  A Killer

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<v Speaker 1>Approache production.

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<v Speaker 2>I now come to sentence the two of you, miss Edwire,

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<v Speaker 2>you might stand up, miss Dwire. You are to be

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<v Speaker 2>imprisoned for life, but with a single non parole period

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<v Speaker 2>with respect to both offenses of twenty one years backdated

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<v Speaker 2>to commence from when you were taken into custody on

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<v Speaker 2>the twenty sixth of August twenty sixteen. I emphasize that

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<v Speaker 2>your release at the expiration of the non parole period

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<v Speaker 2>will not, by any means be automatic. Your release and

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<v Speaker 2>the conditions of any release will depend on how you

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<v Speaker 2>behave and your progress towards rehabilitation during the period you

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<v Speaker 2>are in custody. That is all Mistwire. You may leave.

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<v Speaker 3>Ryan Whitwell Dowai's sister, Britney, stabbed their granddad to death

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<v Speaker 3>for one hundred thousand dollars that was hidden and he shed.

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<v Speaker 3>She never felt the money and left with her accomplice

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<v Speaker 3>and just one thousand dollars and some other valuables. She's

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<v Speaker 3>serving life imprisonment. She's been in jail since November twenty seventeen.

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<v Speaker 3>Since then, her brother Ryan has made contact with her

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<v Speaker 3>a few times. I think you've answered this, but do

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<v Speaker 3>you think your sister was sorry or is sorry?

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<v Speaker 4>I think from the last time I spoke to her

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<v Speaker 4>via the letters, No, she wasn't sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think she was remorseful.

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<v Speaker 4>Those words might have physically been there, but I the

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<v Speaker 4>contacts of the whole letters, No, I didn't feel that.

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<v Speaker 4>Whether or not she feels that now, I mean she's

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<v Speaker 4>written to my mom many times in forms of Christmas cards,

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<v Speaker 4>Birthday cards, full letters, and it took my mother a

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<v Speaker 4>long time to even be able to read them, let

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<v Speaker 4>alone reply to them.

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<v Speaker 3>When was the first time you sent a letter to

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<v Speaker 3>your sister? All spoke to her after she was incarcerated.

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<v Speaker 4>The first time I spoke to her was she had

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<v Speaker 4>just gone to Adelaide Women's prison and she was heavily

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<v Speaker 4>medicated for depression and bipolar sort of disorder. The counselor

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<v Speaker 4>inside the jail, like the therapist, I guess, thought it

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<v Speaker 4>would be a good idea to make contact for her benefit,

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<v Speaker 4>and so I did, and we set up a call,

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<v Speaker 4>and she was allowed to go into the therapist's office

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<v Speaker 4>and make this.

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<v Speaker 5>Call a next monitor and recording.

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<v Speaker 4>It was a very generic call, and I think this

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<v Speaker 4>would have been in twenty sixteen, It would have been

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<v Speaker 4>pretty close after she went in and it was just, yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>what is she doing? I found out that she works

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<v Speaker 4>in there.

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<v Speaker 1>She what does she do? She like is like a janitor.

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<v Speaker 1>She cleans up. And then she moved from there into

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<v Speaker 1>the kitchen.

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<v Speaker 4>And so she was kitchen because they get paid obviously

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<v Speaker 4>to do little jobs. But then if on good behavior,

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<v Speaker 4>she was allowed to participate in like CrossFit tournaments and

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<v Speaker 4>they actually let you out of the jail to go

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<v Speaker 4>and do this, and then like they're allowed to study

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<v Speaker 4>and stuff like that from there as well. So that

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<v Speaker 4>was the program that they had already set up for her.

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<v Speaker 4>But when I was talking to her on the phone,

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<v Speaker 4>it was all about those sorts of things.

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<v Speaker 3>Not mentioning your granddad or you know.

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<v Speaker 4>I did ask questions and the therapist would step in

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<v Speaker 4>and be like, she doesn't want to talk about that.

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<v Speaker 4>Like you could tell there was a break, there was

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<v Speaker 4>a pause, and obviously there's a facial expression that I

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<v Speaker 4>can't see something like that, and it would get pushed.

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<v Speaker 1>Past post that call. Did you then send a letter

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<v Speaker 1>or yeah, she tried to call me again. Obviously you

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<v Speaker 1>can't call them, they call you.

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<v Speaker 4>And so it was pretty tricky at work, and whatnot

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<v Speaker 4>I'd miss it, but so yeah, I decided to send

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<v Speaker 4>a letter, and it was more. The letter was about

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<v Speaker 4>like the first one, was certainly a lot of questions

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<v Speaker 4>that I had for her around why did you make

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<v Speaker 4>up that he raped you or molested you? You know

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<v Speaker 4>what happened? Like how long has this been going on?

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<v Speaker 4>For all of those sorts of questions. I got a

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<v Speaker 4>reply and it was very She picked and choosed what

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<v Speaker 4>she wanted to answer back to and then maybe a

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<v Speaker 4>year later I'd send another one. But she would always

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<v Speaker 4>send me like a birthday car and a Christmas card.

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<v Speaker 4>And it was that last letter that I got back

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<v Speaker 4>from her that I'd decided I didn't want to send

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<v Speaker 4>another one. When was there twenty eighteen and I've never

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<v Speaker 4>heard from her since.

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<v Speaker 6>To Mom, I am so sorry that it has been

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<v Speaker 6>so long since I wrote you. The last letter Ryan

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<v Speaker 6>mentioned that you needed time and that you hadn't read

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<v Speaker 6>any of the last letters that I had sent. I'm

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<v Speaker 6>so sorry that I couldn't be the daughter you and

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<v Speaker 6>Dad deserved to have. I did not mean to live

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<v Speaker 6>this life or to continue lying to both of you

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<v Speaker 6>about having a job, a house, and committing a crime.

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<v Speaker 6>To live. Once I moved out of home, my life

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<v Speaker 6>started to spiral downwards and I was ashamed to come

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<v Speaker 6>to you for help. I became highly dependent on alcohol

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<v Speaker 6>and ice. Honestly, I did not think that you would understand.

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<v Speaker 6>For years, you made me feel like I had to

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<v Speaker 6>live up to Ryan and I just couldn't. I was

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<v Speaker 6>never enough. I knew that if I had come clean

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<v Speaker 6>that our relationship would have become more distant, And all

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<v Speaker 6>I ever wanted was to feel loved by you and

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<v Speaker 6>have a healthier mother daughter relationship.

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<v Speaker 3>How did that make you feel like? Because it felt

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<v Speaker 3>like she was admonishing herself with.

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<v Speaker 4>Any Yeah, I certainly feel that as well reading that,

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<v Speaker 4>and it's I don't understand particularly that component because when

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<v Speaker 4>I was growing up, didn't have any money, and so

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<v Speaker 4>everything that my parents gave us was to better our

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<v Speaker 4>lives and particularly try to help us succeed in life.

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't have much. I'll give you an example. I

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<v Speaker 4>went to public school, which was great. I had if

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<v Speaker 4>I wanted to have new clothes or go out with

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<v Speaker 4>my friends on the weekend, whilst their parents would be

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<v Speaker 4>like twenty dollars his thirty dollars. Off you go my

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<v Speaker 4>parents didn't have the ability to do that, so I

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<v Speaker 4>had to come up with that money.

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<v Speaker 1>Flash forward to.

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<v Speaker 4>When Britney was going through school and growing up, and

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<v Speaker 4>again there is that five years different. The means for

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<v Speaker 4>my parents had completely changed. She had the ability to

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<v Speaker 4>go to private school, She got a pretty hefty allowance

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<v Speaker 4>per week for not doing a great deal. They bought

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<v Speaker 4>her first car. But my parents gave her so much

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<v Speaker 4>and it actually probably did the opposite with her and

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<v Speaker 4>made her not want to strive. She didn't want to

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<v Speaker 4>try and get a job, bill start to build on

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<v Speaker 4>a career. She had no interest in any of that

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<v Speaker 4>because why would you You get to live at home

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<v Speaker 4>and it's a free ride where that was not the

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<v Speaker 4>same for myself. So to say you can't live up

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<v Speaker 4>to Ryan, that wasn't their doing. If anything, that was

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<v Speaker 4>my doing.

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<v Speaker 6>I want you to blame yourself. I know that you

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<v Speaker 6>did the best you could and you always made sure

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<v Speaker 6>that we never went without. I have been broken and

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<v Speaker 6>dealing with my demons for years and years, and I

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<v Speaker 6>eventually became very good at keeping them a secret from everybody.

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<v Speaker 6>Once I became addicted to the drug ice, I could

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<v Speaker 6>no longer control the flashbacks and pain this led to

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<v Speaker 6>my imprisonment. I regret each and every action that I

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<v Speaker 6>ever did. I live with the remorse and the regret

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<v Speaker 6>every day, and I just want you to know that

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<v Speaker 6>I am completely and utterly sorry for all of it.

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<v Speaker 6>You and the rest of the family did not deserve

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<v Speaker 6>to feel pain for an action that I regret deeply,

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<v Speaker 6>and I am so sorry for inflicting that sort of

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<v Speaker 6>nightmare onto you all. And I understand that's sorry simply

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<v Speaker 6>does not go back and change the past that I

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<v Speaker 6>have created. But I miss having you in my life, Mum,

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<v Speaker 6>and I need you to know that what I did

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<v Speaker 6>torments me every day, and if.

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<v Speaker 1>I could go back, I would go back.

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<v Speaker 6>But I can't and I can't change anything.

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<v Speaker 4>That I've done.

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<v Speaker 6>You are still my mother, and I honestly need you

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<v Speaker 6>now more than ever. Every occasion, every Birthday, and every

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<v Speaker 6>Christmas that goes by without hearing from you honestly is

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<v Speaker 6>killing me inside. I know that I have not been

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<v Speaker 6>the daughter you deserve to have, but I am honestly

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<v Speaker 6>so broken without my Mum. I cannot start moving on

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<v Speaker 6>with my life in here without you. I truly do

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<v Speaker 6>not expect your forgiveness, and I do not believe that

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<v Speaker 6>I deserve such leniency, but I do need my mum

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<v Speaker 6>being in my life. I love you, Mum, Brittany.

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<v Speaker 3>How did you feel reading that for the first time?

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<v Speaker 4>Ugh, it actually makes me want to cry. To be fair,

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<v Speaker 4>it's I it's I didn't realize. I haven't read that

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<v Speaker 4>letter for a long time, and actually that was the

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<v Speaker 4>first time I physically read it in years, since twenty nineteen.

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<v Speaker 1>And to be fair, I think I blocked.

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<v Speaker 4>A lot of that out because in my communication with her,

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't ever really feel like she was properly remorseful.

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<v Speaker 4>And then I read that the original time, and it

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<v Speaker 4>made me feel like she was sorry because it was

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<v Speaker 4>convenient for her to be sorry and she needed something

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<v Speaker 4>out of that, which is mum to communicate to her.

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<v Speaker 4>But reading that again now does make me quite emotional,

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<v Speaker 4>very hard to read.

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<v Speaker 3>That letter was sent to you and you your mom.

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<v Speaker 3>Did your mum read it?

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<v Speaker 1>She did?

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>How did she react?

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<v Speaker 1>She got very upset, very emotional. She didn't like the letter.

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<v Speaker 4>I think she felt again there was blame to be

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<v Speaker 4>passed and that she never compared her to myself. I

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<v Speaker 4>think the only thing that ever really happened, is like,

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<v Speaker 4>why aren't you trying to get your life on track?

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<v Speaker 4>That would have been a comment that Mum or dad

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<v Speaker 4>would have made.

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<v Speaker 1>For sure. But they gave her everything anything.

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<v Speaker 4>She wanted to make sure that she had a good

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<v Speaker 4>life because growing up it was not the same for me.

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<v Speaker 4>And so to have that, I guess slapped in your face,

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<v Speaker 4>I think it really I think it pissed my mother

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<v Speaker 4>off about those particular comments. I think it was finally

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<v Speaker 4>nice for Mum to hear that she was showing some

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<v Speaker 4>sort of remorse. But she's never specifically pinpointed that she's

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<v Speaker 4>sorry about what she physically did, just sorry about all

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<v Speaker 4>of it and more around the drug taking and that

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<v Speaker 4>sort of thing, which I think also upset mum.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Not once in that letter does she mention that

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<v Speaker 3>she murdered your granddad. No, that she stabbed him with

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<v Speaker 3>a knife four times and watched him bleed out on

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<v Speaker 3>the floor.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she doesn't in any of the letters.

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<v Speaker 5>It's the perfew letters and cards Mother's Day card and

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<v Speaker 5>birthday cards. And then it was probably a year after

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<v Speaker 5>I read those letters that I decided to write her

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<v Speaker 5>a letter. So I did write her a letter. No,

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<v Speaker 5>I didn't ask questions because Ryan had already done that

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<v Speaker 5>in previous ones, and we did get some answers back then.

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<v Speaker 5>It was more that I said, we need to lay

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<v Speaker 5>all our cards out and be honest with each other

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<v Speaker 5>and not hold back on anything. I wanted the truth,

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<v Speaker 5>and I sort of said, I really don't know what

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<v Speaker 5>kind of mother that I could ever be to her. Again,

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<v Speaker 5>I just I don't know. I don't know what kind

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<v Speaker 5>of mother I could be now, especially knowing that I

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<v Speaker 5>probably could never forgive what she's done. But I don't

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<v Speaker 5>have all the answers, so it's hard to speculate on that.

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<v Speaker 5>But I think I laid it all out and it

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<v Speaker 5>wasn't a lovey dovey kind of letter. It was, but

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<v Speaker 5>you know, she knows me. I was always tough love

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<v Speaker 5>and you know that's how I raised the kids, and

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<v Speaker 5>I don't think she'd expect anything else from me. Really,

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<v Speaker 5>it's just I want the truth. I want to hear

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<v Speaker 5>it from her. And that was about eighteen months ago,

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<v Speaker 5>and I haven't heard. I never got a response from

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<v Speaker 5>my letter, so I really don't even know if she

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<v Speaker 5>actually got it in jail or if she just has

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<v Speaker 5>written me off and doesn't want anything to do with me,

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<v Speaker 5>So that to.

0:14:33.161 --> 0:14:34.521
<v Speaker 1>Me shows she's not sorry.

0:14:35.121 --> 0:14:38.641
<v Speaker 4>She's been seeking this attention from my mother since she

0:14:39.281 --> 0:14:42.961
<v Speaker 4>decided that she's ready to speak to her, and then

0:14:43.241 --> 0:14:46.601
<v Speaker 4>finally when she gets a response, and it was a

0:14:46.641 --> 0:14:48.441
<v Speaker 4>well balanced response, I.

0:14:48.441 --> 0:14:50.441
<v Speaker 1>Must say for my mother no reply.

0:14:53.481 --> 0:14:57.201
<v Speaker 4>Do you miss her? I missed the idea of her.

0:14:58.161 --> 0:15:02.721
<v Speaker 4>I miss having a sibling. It's the little things, like

0:15:04.081 --> 0:15:07.481
<v Speaker 4>you know, a year ago I started a new job

0:15:08.401 --> 0:15:10.681
<v Speaker 4>and as colleagues do, they try to get to know

0:15:10.761 --> 0:15:14.321
<v Speaker 4>you and they say, do you have any siblings?

0:15:15.441 --> 0:15:16.201
<v Speaker 1>What do you say?

0:15:16.761 --> 0:15:19.481
<v Speaker 4>Because if you say yes, then they ask more questions

0:15:20.521 --> 0:15:23.121
<v Speaker 4>and then that obviously leads into a whole other thing.

0:15:24.641 --> 0:15:28.841
<v Speaker 4>So we've received a Christmas card in twenty twenty from Brittany.

0:15:28.841 --> 0:15:33.521
<v Speaker 4>It was addressed to my Mum and I and it says, too,

0:15:33.521 --> 0:15:36.041
<v Speaker 4>dear Mum and Ryan, I hope you both are having

0:15:36.081 --> 0:15:39.481
<v Speaker 4>a wonderful day spent together and filled with so much love.

0:15:39.961 --> 0:15:42.521
<v Speaker 4>I'll be thinking of you both as usual, many happy

0:15:42.561 --> 0:15:45.921
<v Speaker 4>memories and special wishes to come, all wrapped up in

0:15:46.001 --> 0:15:50.521
<v Speaker 4>loving thoughts, especially for you. I love you so much, Mum,

0:15:51.001 --> 0:15:55.241
<v Speaker 4>love you so much. Ryan, Love always Brittany, did.

0:15:55.081 --> 0:15:57.521
<v Speaker 3>You send cards back to her at Christmas?

0:15:58.081 --> 0:15:58.161
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:15:58.361 --> 0:16:00.121
<v Speaker 1>I never sent a card.

0:16:00.521 --> 0:16:07.121
<v Speaker 4>Mine were always letters. I found it was easier because

0:16:07.161 --> 0:16:09.561
<v Speaker 4>I would go big periods of time. If we're not

0:16:10.761 --> 0:16:15.161
<v Speaker 4>speaking with her, I guess not writing a letter. And

0:16:15.201 --> 0:16:19.601
<v Speaker 4>I found that I would type out a letter and

0:16:19.641 --> 0:16:24.121
<v Speaker 4>I was able to share photos of what was happening

0:16:24.161 --> 0:16:28.641
<v Speaker 4>in my life by embedding them into the letter, so

0:16:28.721 --> 0:16:31.281
<v Speaker 4>I would give her updates about what I was doing

0:16:31.321 --> 0:16:33.001
<v Speaker 4>for work, or where I.

0:16:33.001 --> 0:16:35.361
<v Speaker 1>Was living at the time, which city I happened to

0:16:35.401 --> 0:16:37.881
<v Speaker 1>be in. Yeah, just that sort of thing.

0:16:38.721 --> 0:16:42.121
<v Speaker 3>It seems like a really normal type letter, like a

0:16:42.201 --> 0:16:44.441
<v Speaker 3>pen pal, where you're saying, hey, you haven't seen you

0:16:44.481 --> 0:16:48.081
<v Speaker 3>for a while. Here's a few things he's me on

0:16:48.121 --> 0:16:51.121
<v Speaker 3>the beach and stuff. I don't want to put words

0:16:51.161 --> 0:16:53.721
<v Speaker 3>in your mouth, but does it feel like that's a

0:16:53.721 --> 0:16:54.721
<v Speaker 3>bit of small talk?

0:16:55.241 --> 0:16:58.641
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely, it feels like small talk, And I think that's

0:16:58.641 --> 0:17:01.761
<v Speaker 4>a perfect way of describing it. When I was writing letters,

0:17:02.161 --> 0:17:05.801
<v Speaker 4>and particularly towards the end, I didn't I want her

0:17:05.961 --> 0:17:09.281
<v Speaker 4>to think that I cared about what she was doing,

0:17:10.481 --> 0:17:13.441
<v Speaker 4>and hearing that come out of my mouth sounds quite brutal,

0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:16.360
<v Speaker 4>and I get that, but I didn't. I was not

0:17:16.481 --> 0:17:20.041
<v Speaker 4>in a place where I wanted to be like, oh, hi, like,

0:17:20.241 --> 0:17:23.080
<v Speaker 4>how are you, what are you doing? What are you

0:17:23.120 --> 0:17:25.721
<v Speaker 4>cooking in that kitchen in jail? Like I didn't want

0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:28.480
<v Speaker 4>her to perceive that I cared, So when I was

0:17:28.481 --> 0:17:33.360
<v Speaker 4>writing the letters, I didn't ever really ask about her.

0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:36.480
<v Speaker 4>And it was more just as if I had just

0:17:36.521 --> 0:17:40.840
<v Speaker 4>done like a LinkedIn post. It was just generic points

0:17:41.481 --> 0:17:42.921
<v Speaker 4>that had happened in my life.

0:17:44.921 --> 0:17:47.041
<v Speaker 3>So why did you send the letters?

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:50.240
<v Speaker 4>I guess I had like a sense of obligation that

0:17:50.321 --> 0:17:52.481
<v Speaker 4>I felt like it was the right thing to do.

0:17:53.201 --> 0:17:59.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, for who for me to do it, for

0:17:59.481 --> 0:18:00.001
<v Speaker 1>me to.

0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:04.360
<v Speaker 4>In a way, I felt like I owed that to her.

0:18:05.120 --> 0:18:10.640
<v Speaker 4>I had already been quite harsh. It's weird saying harsh considering.

0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:11.840
<v Speaker 1>What she did, but I did.

0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:15.241
<v Speaker 4>I felt like I was being I was quite harsh,

0:18:16.441 --> 0:18:23.121
<v Speaker 4>and I do imagine how lonely I think she would

0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:27.880
<v Speaker 4>be in there. And some of the hard things to

0:18:27.961 --> 0:18:31.640
<v Speaker 4>actually get was I'd have a lot of people that

0:18:31.761 --> 0:18:34.600
<v Speaker 4>have been in jail with her that'd be let out

0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:40.120
<v Speaker 4>released and they would message me and they would say,

0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:43.600
<v Speaker 4>like how much she talked about me? And that was

0:18:43.681 --> 0:18:52.441
<v Speaker 4>really difficult. Yeah, I think that really that broke my heart. Sorry,

0:18:53.241 --> 0:19:01.641
<v Speaker 4>so I feel like it's why I was doing the letters.

0:19:02.921 --> 0:19:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Excuse me, So yeah, I think obligation was that anything.

0:19:12.360 --> 0:19:15.681
<v Speaker 4>A couple of years ago, I had my alert set

0:19:15.721 --> 0:19:19.281
<v Speaker 4>on Google, so anytime that the topic was talked about,

0:19:20.001 --> 0:19:23.000
<v Speaker 4>it pop up, which I actually had to turn off

0:19:23.001 --> 0:19:24.920
<v Speaker 4>because I didn't think that was very healthy in the

0:19:24.961 --> 0:19:25.521
<v Speaker 4>long run.

0:19:26.041 --> 0:19:27.360
<v Speaker 1>But a story was done.

0:19:28.681 --> 0:19:30.881
<v Speaker 4>I can't of remember who did it, but it was

0:19:31.001 --> 0:19:36.120
<v Speaker 4>talking about some of the most vicious killers in Australia

0:19:36.281 --> 0:19:39.561
<v Speaker 4>and what they'll be having for Christmas dinner and that

0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:43.200
<v Speaker 4>they named Brittany and what she would be expecting in

0:19:43.321 --> 0:19:45.441
<v Speaker 4>I think at that time she was at the Portagusta

0:19:46.001 --> 0:19:54.761
<v Speaker 4>Maximum Security jail. And it's such a strange thing to

0:19:54.880 --> 0:20:01.760
<v Speaker 4>talk about. But for a brother to hear, like in

0:20:01.961 --> 0:20:06.200
<v Speaker 4>literal terms and illiteral words on what her Christmas is

0:20:06.241 --> 0:20:11.801
<v Speaker 4>going to be like, Yeah, that hits very differently, And.

0:20:11.761 --> 0:20:15.080
<v Speaker 3>Then I guess Christmas rolls around and it's an impossible

0:20:15.120 --> 0:20:16.321
<v Speaker 3>image to get out of your head.

0:20:16.321 --> 0:20:16.481
<v Speaker 2>Wrong.

0:20:16.961 --> 0:20:19.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, definitely, I think we all did our best to

0:20:20.041 --> 0:20:24.881
<v Speaker 4>enjoy Christmas. And I mean at the time, earlier days

0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:29.200
<v Speaker 4>when I was still with my eggs his mum is

0:20:29.201 --> 0:20:33.480
<v Speaker 4>a fantastic cook, incredible, and she would put on a

0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:37.241
<v Speaker 4>massive Christmas Day spread, and so it was myself, my grandmother,

0:20:37.360 --> 0:20:40.481
<v Speaker 4>and my mom and we would join their family every year,

0:20:40.761 --> 0:20:44.000
<v Speaker 4>and it took the image out of your head just

0:20:45.201 --> 0:20:49.120
<v Speaker 4>long enough by being distracted by everything else and feeling

0:20:49.201 --> 0:20:52.041
<v Speaker 4>a part of a bigger family. And so that became

0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:54.961
<v Speaker 4>a bit of a tradition for a few years.

0:20:55.681 --> 0:20:57.281
<v Speaker 3>Awesome, thanks man. Join some tissues.

0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:09.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, some parts you think differently about as time goes by,

0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:16.840
<v Speaker 4>but I think overall it doesn't change very much. Overall, No,

0:21:17.001 --> 0:21:19.680
<v Speaker 4>it doesn't. I don't think it changes anything for me.

0:21:20.481 --> 0:21:22.920
<v Speaker 4>But based on the day, I might be a little

0:21:22.961 --> 0:21:26.801
<v Speaker 4>less harsh and maybe a little bit more forgiving on

0:21:26.840 --> 0:21:27.680
<v Speaker 4>some other days.

0:21:28.041 --> 0:21:31.680
<v Speaker 3>Do you think about do you think about her in

0:21:31.801 --> 0:21:34.600
<v Speaker 3>jail ever? Does that picture into your mind you've not

0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:38.041
<v Speaker 3>been there, Yeah, so that's probably helpful in some ways.

0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:42.561
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I do. I think about that a lot.

0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:46.001
<v Speaker 4>And I think there was one particular moment where filming

0:21:46.120 --> 0:21:49.041
<v Speaker 4>Sunday night, we were taken to the.

0:21:49.041 --> 0:21:52.200
<v Speaker 1>Outside of her jail and.

0:21:52.201 --> 0:21:57.400
<v Speaker 4>That was hard to be very close and actually you

0:21:57.441 --> 0:22:01.681
<v Speaker 4>could see people out in the out in the garden.

0:22:01.721 --> 0:22:05.001
<v Speaker 4>If you will moving around and they're all in bay

0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:07.240
<v Speaker 4>Is to be that close.

0:22:07.441 --> 0:22:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that was really difficult.

0:22:09.681 --> 0:22:16.201
<v Speaker 4>So ever since experiencing that and actually getting a visual

0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:19.561
<v Speaker 4>of what the place looks like in real life, Yeah,

0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:21.441
<v Speaker 4>it's I think about it all the time.

0:22:24.801 --> 0:22:28.521
<v Speaker 3>Do you think Brittany is evil or unwell?

0:22:32.241 --> 0:22:37.880
<v Speaker 5>I think she was unwell. You know one of the

0:22:37.961 --> 0:22:42.600
<v Speaker 5>last letters when she is up and left home. Gary

0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:45.960
<v Speaker 5>and I were at work during the day and we

0:22:46.041 --> 0:22:48.360
<v Speaker 5>came home and she just moved out of the house

0:22:49.160 --> 0:22:53.961
<v Speaker 5>and she's left a note saying, I've got to leave

0:22:54.201 --> 0:22:58.440
<v Speaker 5>Mom and dad. You pestering me about getting a job.

0:22:59.041 --> 0:23:01.561
<v Speaker 5>It's just it's no good for my mental health. I've

0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:05.001
<v Speaker 5>just got to move away. And so I do see

0:23:05.241 --> 0:23:12.600
<v Speaker 5>she was suffering depression or something that wasn't diagnosed so much,

0:23:14.281 --> 0:23:18.360
<v Speaker 5>so I think, yeah, probably unwell. I do you know

0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:19.880
<v Speaker 5>when I think about.

0:23:19.561 --> 0:23:26.120
<v Speaker 7>Her talking in those texts, you know, sliding throats and

0:23:26.241 --> 0:23:29.801
<v Speaker 7>things like that, and the blood, I did.

0:23:29.640 --> 0:23:33.360
<v Speaker 5>Think evil then back those kind of years, I did

0:23:33.441 --> 0:23:38.160
<v Speaker 5>think that was evil, But nowadays I think it was

0:23:38.961 --> 0:23:40.120
<v Speaker 5>a small unwell