WEBVTT - How has it taken me this long to realise?!!

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad

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<v Speaker 1>Mum Podcast? It feels like it was just Christmas holidays.

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<v Speaker 2>And now we're in and these holidays in particular are

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit like all over the shop, aren't they,

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<v Speaker 2>because like Easter is so far yes, after like they

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<v Speaker 2>almost come back or do they come back after?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Easter? Oh no, we go Easter and then the

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<v Speaker 1>Easter Monday and then they're back at school on the Tuesday.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So also Katie going into this particular set of holidays,

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<v Speaker 2>We've got my forty yeth Yeah, Elsie's turning ten, Gracey's

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<v Speaker 2>turning twelve, and it's going to be the birthday week.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like literally their birthday week. It goes for a week. Yeap.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you know what I've committed to? What fucking sleep?

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<v Speaker 2>I said yes, because like I haven't done a party

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<v Speaker 2>for so long, And when I say so long, I

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<v Speaker 2>think it's been been like three years. I took them

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<v Speaker 2>away for last year's birthday and said they could bring

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<v Speaker 2>a friend each and we'll go away for a week

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<v Speaker 2>and stay down the Gold Coast and do some fun stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>So they were happy with that. Would much refer to

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<v Speaker 2>be doing that then sleepovers.

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<v Speaker 1>Is actually, I know it feels like a big thing,

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<v Speaker 1>taking extra kids on holiday with you, but I find

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<v Speaker 1>it's so much better. If the girls bring a friend,

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<v Speaker 1>they're off, they're doing stuff, they're entertained.

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<v Speaker 2>We literally had a three bedroom unit. I was in

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<v Speaker 2>the main bedroom, and then they both had double beds,

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<v Speaker 2>so then they both slept with their latle mates. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and so it was just all girls. One of the

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<v Speaker 2>easiest sort of holidays I've done ever. Yeah, bring a friend,

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<v Speaker 2>bring a friend, b wayo friend. So holiday said holiday.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, so that's what we've got ahead of us.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sitting here saying it like I'm really contained and

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<v Speaker 2>like everything's planned and everything's organized.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not Sleepovers are fucked. She They are fucked because

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<v Speaker 1>they stay up all night.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Then the next couple of days it's just tired and horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>You end up arguing, they get embarrassed in front of

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<v Speaker 1>their friends. It's a lose lose situation all round. For

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<v Speaker 1>a sleepover. The only part of a sleepover that's enjoyable

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<v Speaker 1>is the part where they say, oh my god, MoMA

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<v Speaker 1>says you can come for a sleepover. That's the enjoyable part.

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<v Speaker 1>That's it, and they're happy with you for that five

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<v Speaker 1>minutes and that's the only part that's good. And then

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<v Speaker 1>it just all goes downhill from there.

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<v Speaker 2>Racy's got new friends, so I have to have like

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<v Speaker 2>new people over and I mean that means new parents.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Also haven't heard back from any of them.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you tell them to RSVP?

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<v Speaker 3>But I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I allowed Gracie to design her own invite and

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<v Speaker 2>then send them, so I've really had nothing to do.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't even know if my name and numbers on it.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually have no idea proof read. She didn't even

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<v Speaker 2>let me proofread the invite. I thought about this the

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<v Speaker 2>other day, going, you have no control over this. You've

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<v Speaker 2>got no fucking idea, no, genuinely. Whoever the poor parents

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<v Speaker 2>are that have received this emailed invite.

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<v Speaker 1>That's high school for you. Now they do it all themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't get to know about anything. I get told

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<v Speaker 1>where I need to be in my taxi. That's all

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<v Speaker 1>that happens. You need to be here, and then often

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<v Speaker 1>tell me half an hour before they go somewhere. How

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<v Speaker 1>about my plans?

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<v Speaker 3>You don't have any your mum?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, am I a bad mum for not doing it enough,

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<v Speaker 1>deterrenting in general. This is about one on one time,

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<v Speaker 1>which I have been terrible at. And I think because

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<v Speaker 1>they're twins and they've always done not just because of twins.

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<v Speaker 1>I know there's any of twins who do different activities

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<v Speaker 1>and have different friends and the rest of it. My

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<v Speaker 1>twins are particularly close and have always done everything together.

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<v Speaker 1>So I have tried to encourage different after school activities.

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<v Speaker 1>Why don't you do gymnastics and you do DearS And no,

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<v Speaker 1>They've always wanted to do the same thing and go together,

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<v Speaker 1>to the point where if one says they're interested in something,

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<v Speaker 1>the other one will go, oh, yeah, I am. And

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<v Speaker 1>then if one says they're interested in the other one

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<v Speaker 1>says they're not interested, the first one goes on, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not interested in that.

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<v Speaker 2>They yeah, it's just been a thing, right, But then

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<v Speaker 2>that makes it really hard doing individual time with them

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<v Speaker 2>makes it really tough.

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<v Speaker 1>I would say they are completely lost when they're not together.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want it so interesting because now they're both

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<v Speaker 1>working at macas and they have different shifts and more

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<v Speaker 1>so this way around, this is not going to be

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<v Speaker 1>the way around you think. Come say, but Amelia will

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<v Speaker 1>go off and do a shift and Holly's just hanging

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<v Speaker 1>around like she's completely lost. She doesn't know what to do.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't expect that.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I no, I know because she acts like the

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<v Speaker 1>confident one. So anyway, on the weekend, we needed to

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<v Speaker 1>go out and get shoes, a bag and some jewelry

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<v Speaker 1>for semi formal.

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<v Speaker 3>This spending for this thing, Okay, yeah, keep going.

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<v Speaker 1>The never end a money pit. Start saving, because honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>it's ridiculous. There's a pre so they do a pre

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<v Speaker 1>I told you this the actual thing a post.

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<v Speaker 3>Then you'll do a post. You'll need a cartoon from.

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<v Speaker 1>Then they do another post the next day.

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<v Speaker 3>No, that's a new thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I was talking to my dad last night and he

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<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, what are you doing. I was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>we're going to go for dinner. He said, oh, well

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<v Speaker 1>you all go back together. I was like, no, we'll

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<v Speaker 1>be done way earlier than what they will see them

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<v Speaker 1>in there and they can jump in an uber and then.

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<v Speaker 3>All going well with plans of the partners. Still, I'm

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<v Speaker 3>so fucking excited about this.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll get to meet them right.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh good, Yeah, that's good.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what weird because I'm allowed. This is going a

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<v Speaker 1>real shock.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm shocked.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm allowed to go to the pre. I'm allowed to

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<v Speaker 1>go there.

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<v Speaker 3>That's where the parents go and take photos of the

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<v Speaker 3>group photos. Yes, yeah, And who's hosting that?

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<v Speaker 1>A friend of theirs?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay? Cool?

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<v Speaker 2>So then their dates are getting dropped off to the

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<v Speaker 2>pre okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I took them right, I decided, and I

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<v Speaker 1>never ever do this. I took them separate to go

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<v Speaker 1>and get shoes. So I took Holly on the Saturday,

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<v Speaker 1>went around the shop's churm side. That's another fucking story.

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<v Speaker 1>I've never been there. It's been so busy in my life.

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<v Speaker 3>I was going. I was there on Sunday and it

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<v Speaker 3>was horrible.

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<v Speaker 1>No, Saturday was like it was even on the news.

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<v Speaker 1>It was taking people two hours to get out of

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<v Speaker 1>the car park. I got caught in a line. I

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<v Speaker 1>had been waiting in this line for thirty minutes. I

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<v Speaker 1>was trying to get a space. They were trying to

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<v Speaker 1>get out, And so there's two cars in front of

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<v Speaker 1>me rate and they're like, everyone's just stationary. But in

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<v Speaker 1>between the two cars there's a car park, a free

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<v Speaker 1>car park on the left, but no one can get

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<v Speaker 1>to it because the line of cars is in the

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<v Speaker 1>way and I'm behind. I ended up getting out of

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<v Speaker 1>my car and saying to the girl in front of me,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, do you mind if I come around you?

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<v Speaker 1>Can you just reverse so I can just get into

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<v Speaker 1>that car park. She's like, yeah, no worry.

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<v Speaker 3>She was waiting to get out.

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<v Speaker 1>She was waiting to get out. So anyway, Saturday, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, the only positive that came out of that

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<v Speaker 1>is they had to do free parking for everyone and

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<v Speaker 1>kick the barriers up so that people could get out faster.

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<v Speaker 3>It's crazy, crazy, crazy. So she found shoes Saturday.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, so we got the shoes, We've got the jewelry,

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<v Speaker 1>we got the clutch. She was super happy. I realized

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<v Speaker 1>then the next day did the same with Amelia. What

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<v Speaker 1>I realized was separately taking them out. They cared about

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<v Speaker 1>what I thought. They were mindful of how much things

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<v Speaker 1>were going to be, They were grateful. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>why do I not do this more often? Because together

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<v Speaker 1>it's like two bullies gang up on me, make me

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<v Speaker 1>feel shit about not spending more money or not doing

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<v Speaker 1>more or not going don't give a shit about my opinion.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just there to be the bank yeah, and the

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<v Speaker 1>ATM and the chauffeur. Whereas what I realized out of this,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like it was a million times better. And

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<v Speaker 1>I actually got to the end of both days, like

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<v Speaker 1>I spent my whole fucking weekend at the shops. There

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<v Speaker 1>was a part where I walked past chic and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like looking in the window and Amelia went, you

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<v Speaker 1>want to go in, mom? And I was like no, No.

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<v Speaker 1>I was thinking to myself, No, I want this day

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<v Speaker 1>to be about you.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And I also be bothered it was too busy.

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, if it's so bad, try and I'd

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<v Speaker 3>every rue for it.

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<v Speaker 1>But I got to the end of the weekend and

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<v Speaker 1>I not only was I and this doesn't happen very

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<v Speaker 1>often where they go thank you so much, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>you are welcome and you were so grateful and you

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<v Speaker 1>were so nice to be around, Like that doesn't happen

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<v Speaker 1>very often?

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<v Speaker 3>Is split them up?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>I sort of realized.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, how did I not know this? So

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<v Speaker 1>why did this take me sixteen years to go? Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Just split them up and it would be so much nicer.

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<v Speaker 2>You've got jewelry, shoes, bag, dress, hairs, organized makeups, organized

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<v Speaker 2>on are those other things after? But surely the boys

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<v Speaker 2>are buying them. They wear a flower still.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh one of the boys did text, so, the one

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<v Speaker 1>Amelia's going with text her and said, just wondering what

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<v Speaker 1>color addresses?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah for the flower. Yeah, that's also a good sign

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<v Speaker 3>that he's definitely turning up.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't know about the other one. The other

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<v Speaker 1>one bothers.

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<v Speaker 3>Me why because you haven't met them.

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<v Speaker 1>Amelia's guy is asking her questions and being friendly and

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<v Speaker 1>having a conversation. He's not saying anything. She's like, Mom,

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<v Speaker 1>I will even say how'd your day, and he'll just

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<v Speaker 1>go good. I don't know about him.

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<v Speaker 2>What happens if one person turns up and with the

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<v Speaker 2>other person to take both of them?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh god, I can't even like. It makes my heart

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<v Speaker 1>her because I need to And you just remember though,

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<v Speaker 1>hope Jay's got a suit ready, Holly, how about your date?

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<v Speaker 3>Good night,