1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,880 Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back to Bounce Forward with me, Tiff Paul. 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: on which I'm recording this podcast. The wereundry people of 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: the cooler nation. I pay my respects to elders past 5 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: and present, Ebony Hay Tip. I saw you recently celebrated 6 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: your fortieth birthday. I'm not too far offrom my thirtieth 7 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: and I'm feeling a bit nervous and like I haven't 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: achieved enough. But I was thinking back to my younger 9 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: self and wondered, what would you say to your younger 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: self if you could imagine writing sixteen year old Tiff 11 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: a letter, what would it say? 12 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,040 Speaker 2: And what have you learned along the way? Oh? 13 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,959 Speaker 1: Evany, he's such a massive question. You're turning thirty. Oh 14 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: my goodness. Well I'm thirty plus ten. That's how I 15 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 1: like to frame it, and I'm in my I don't 16 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: give a error where it feels really nice to just 17 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: relax into life and not care so much what people think. 18 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: I think if I was writing a letter back to 19 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: myself when I was sixteen, poor sixteen year old Tiff 20 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: who was just so riddled with self doubt and like 21 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,320 Speaker 1: worried about what people thought and had to be perfectionists 22 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: and you know, strive for eight pluses in everything. 23 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 2: I just say relax. 24 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: I would say, enjoy your life a bit more, don't 25 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: be such a stress head. Because I can be a 26 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 1: stress head and celebrate the small wins. I would always 27 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: be like, oh, I got an A plus on this, 28 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 1: and then move on to the next thing. I must strive, 29 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 1: I must conquer, I must get perfect perfection. And I 30 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: never stopped and smelt the roses or celebrated the small winds. 31 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: I think that's a huge learning across the way. And 32 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 1: recently I had a massive win. This little podcast, Bounce Forward, 33 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: won an award from Radio Today, a Radio Today Award, 34 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,160 Speaker 1: and my team and I were just so excited. You know, 35 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: I have really stopped to celebrate that and just let 36 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: it sink in over the last week. 37 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: Usually I would just move on and. 38 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: Whatever, like you know, but I have loved every second 39 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: of relishing in that and thinking about how special it is. 40 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: We're up against some big podcasts and really established podcasts, 41 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: and you know, I'm not a podcaster. I'm a trainer. 42 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 1: I just tell you what I think and I'm very 43 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: honest about it, and it really paid off. So celebrate 44 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,600 Speaker 1: the small wins as you go along. Then, I would 45 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: say to my sixteen year old self, trust your gut, 46 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 1: trust your instincts more, because so many times I did 47 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 1: things and it felt wrong or I wanted to say no, 48 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,639 Speaker 1: but I said yes, And in saying yes to things 49 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: I didn't want to do, I said no to myself 50 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 1: and that was harmful for my personal development my self esteem. 51 00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: You know, always saying yes and always being a people 52 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: pleaser isn't good. So listen to your instincts and grow 53 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 1: that no muscle. I would say to my sixteen year 54 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: old self, flex that no muscle, and also be mindful 55 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: that thoughts become things. I had really bad self talk 56 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: when I was sixteen. I'd put myself down. I was 57 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: really not good in my head. I think talking to 58 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: myself and pumping myself up. You do have to be 59 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 1: a cheerleader for yourself, and thoughts do become things. What 60 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: you think about comes about, and you really need to 61 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: be very aware of your thought hygiene and what you're 62 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: saying to yourself. I'd also say to my sixteen year 63 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: old self to relax because ninety nine percent of what 64 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: you worry about never eventuates. And if you think about anxiety, 65 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: anxiety is thinking about a future that hasn't arrived yet. 66 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: Anxiety is something about and imagine future that you know 67 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: just doesn't exist. And I was an anxious teenager, so 68 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: I would say, don't get caught up in worrying about 69 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 1: the future. Be in the moment, tif And I'm getting 70 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: better at being in the moment, and I think having 71 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: kids has helped me do that. 72 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 2: There's a lot of negativity around aging. 73 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: Turning forty. All of my friends were like, ha ha ha, 74 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: the big four zero. You know, geriatric. You know it's time. 75 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: Everything's going to go to shit now, like your body 76 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: and this and that. 77 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 2: And I was. 78 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: Really kind of like, why why does it have to 79 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 1: be like that? You know? I found forty turning forty 80 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: very exciting and it was in a very good headspace 81 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: about it, and I think you should be in a 82 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: good headspace about turning thirty. I wasn't thinking about, oh, 83 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,919 Speaker 1: I haven't done enough, not where I want to be, 84 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: or I'm not, you know financially where I want to be, 85 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 1: or all these things that swirl around your head as 86 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: you get older. I really was proud of how far 87 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 1: I had come mentally and physically, and that's all that matters. 88 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,919 Speaker 1: Like you in your body and how far you've come. 89 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: And if you can say that you're a strong person 90 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: and proud of your character and the way you treat people, 91 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 1: then that's a really positive thing. It's not about the externals. 92 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,559 Speaker 1: I think it's about the internals. Sure, there are things 93 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: about turning forty I'm not as happy about, like wrinkles 94 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: and you know, gray hair, and you know, being judged 95 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 1: by people for not being what you used to be. 96 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 2: But that's on them. 97 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: And I really love the doctor Seuss quote that the 98 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: people that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter. 99 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: I probably said that in the wrong way, but you 100 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: get my gist. You know, it's the people that mattered 101 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: to you the most. They don't care about wrinkles, they 102 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: don't care about aging, they don't care about the gray hair. 103 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: They're not looking at you and saying, well, well, when 104 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: you're in your twenties, you were you know, had a 105 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: six pack, and you were a peak physical condition and 106 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: you did this and you did that. They're looking at 107 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: you and thinking, wow, you've gone through so much, You've 108 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: learned so much, you are so wise, and that's what 109 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: I really wanted. I felt like I was reclaiming a 110 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: bit of my old self and I was through that wisdom, 111 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. 112 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 2: So, if I had to. 113 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:41,719 Speaker 1: Say what I'm most excited about aging, it's about reclaiming 114 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 1: a bit of my life as my kids are getting 115 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: a bit older, Vader, She's going to be out of 116 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: nappy soon. That's a huge win. Any mum knows that. 117 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: It's like a big milestone. You've kept this baby alive 118 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 1: two years through you know, nappies and the feeding and 119 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: all of that, and they're now a little person walking 120 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: around talking and you kind of they're a bit more independent. 121 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: She's going to classes and she'll do a little bit 122 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: of kindo next year maybe, and you know, you start 123 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: to get your life back. I'm like, wow, I'm podcasting, 124 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: I'm doing all these amazing things. And Arnold's seven this year, 125 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 1: like he's a grown up little boy, and I adore them. 126 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: I adore them, but that when they need you so 127 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: much as little people, it is really hard to find 128 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: yourself within that. So I'm slowly navigating some more time 129 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: for me and learning what my world looks like again, 130 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: which is crazy, and I'm really looking forward to this 131 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: era of being more sure of myself. 132 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 2: You know, people, it's a liberating feeling. 133 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: I feel really comfortable and confident in my own skin. 134 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: And you know, the more that my body changes, I 135 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: see it as a positive because the more I can 136 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: actually help women going through the same thing. So sure 137 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: my body has changed through injury, through babies, I'm not 138 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 1: Sometimes I look at photos of my old self and go, oh, 139 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: that was nice back then. But I have all of 140 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: these scars and stretch marks and loose skin and all 141 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,760 Speaker 1: this stuff to help women with. And I'm actually really 142 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: excited to be entering perimenopause soon because again that's a 143 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: phase where I'll be able to connect with women and 144 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: help women through training through that phase, becoming more patient 145 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: and understanding with myself, and you know, that's a given. 146 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: Like I have had to work on my patience. I 147 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: am not a patient person. When I want something, I 148 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: want it now. When I'm doing something, I have to 149 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: get it done. Like I've had to work on my 150 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: patients and with kids. It's really helped me to become 151 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,199 Speaker 1: more patient, and I think that's really important. 152 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 2: And I think, just to wrap up. 153 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: When you're turning thirty, make sure that you're looking after 154 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: your own patch of grass. The grass always looks greener 155 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: on the other side, but look after your own grass, 156 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: make sure it's thriving, cultivate that. Don't worry about what 157 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 1: other people are thinking about saying about you. You know, 158 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 1: it's they're not even saying or thinking about you, like 159 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: they're so caught up in their own worlds. Just always 160 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: look at your own grass, your own little patch, and 161 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 1: prioritize you. You can't pour from an empty cup, and 162 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: so make sure that you carve out a little bit 163 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: of time for yourself. And don't worry about where you 164 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: need to be at thirty, you know, because who says 165 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: there's not a rule book that you need to be 166 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:45,680 Speaker 1: here at thirty. You know it's it's it's an open 167 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: ended story that you're writing. And just be proud of 168 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: how far you've come, and look at aging as an 169 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: exciting time to be wise, to level up to help 170 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 1: other people, and you'll feel really good about it. 171 00:09:59,200 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 2: You've got this. 172 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening to Bounce Forward. I love 173 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 1: having your company, so please DM me and get in 174 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 1: touch on Instagram at tip Paul Underscore XO and let 175 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: me know what topics and questions you'd love me to cover. 176 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,559 Speaker 1: Don't forget to rate and review me on your podcast 177 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: app Speak soon, Happy days,