1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:24,801 Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production, welcome back to you another episode of 2 00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: Am I A Bad Mom? 3 00:00:26,481 --> 00:00:27,361 Speaker 2: Podcast? 4 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,081 Speaker 1: That's the question we constantly ask three times a week. 5 00:00:31,201 --> 00:00:35,600 Speaker 1: We're also really interested to get your feedback and thoughts. 6 00:00:36,001 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 1: I think we're going to put a link in the 7 00:00:37,961 --> 00:00:41,880 Speaker 1: show notes, but also you can DM us on Instagram 8 00:00:41,921 --> 00:00:43,681 Speaker 1: as well at am I A Bad Mum? We're really 9 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:47,521 Speaker 1: interested to know the content that you enjoy hearing, the 10 00:00:47,561 --> 00:00:50,241 Speaker 1: topics that you like to listen to. Is it just 11 00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:53,561 Speaker 1: mum stuff? Do you like the other stuff we chat about. 12 00:00:53,761 --> 00:00:56,761 Speaker 3: We've got another podcast, Girl's Gone Wild, Don't listen with 13 00:00:56,801 --> 00:00:59,041 Speaker 3: the kids in the car. And if there's that sort 14 00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:01,881 Speaker 3: of content you want, just let us know what kind 15 00:01:01,881 --> 00:01:04,001 Speaker 3: of gruesome stuff do you want or is it just 16 00:01:04,081 --> 00:01:08,081 Speaker 3: the mum stuff? Which is toat it's fine, but at 17 00:01:08,081 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 3: the same time, that's where this thought process has come from. 18 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was listening to you. 19 00:01:12,321 --> 00:01:15,881 Speaker 3: I don't actually like I don't actually like it. 20 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,281 Speaker 2: I'm like, we need to switch it up. 21 00:01:18,321 --> 00:01:21,161 Speaker 1: Then, I think I don't like scrolling through other people's 22 00:01:21,161 --> 00:01:21,761 Speaker 1: social media. 23 00:01:22,961 --> 00:01:26,321 Speaker 3: I mean, you do follow the Kardashians, So need I 24 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 3: say it more? 25 00:01:27,161 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: Well, it's aspirational. 26 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,521 Speaker 2: It's not fucking as there's nothing like them. 27 00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:34,441 Speaker 1: No, it doesn't doesn't have to be real. I want 28 00:01:34,481 --> 00:01:36,001 Speaker 1: to live in a house like that, I don't. 29 00:01:36,121 --> 00:01:39,321 Speaker 2: I want to go to holiday, Yeah, I'll take the holiday. 30 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,601 Speaker 2: They clean those houses. No, they've got people that clean it. 31 00:01:41,721 --> 00:01:41,961 Speaker 3: Yeah. 32 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: Right, see, but do you really want their life, like, 33 00:01:45,681 --> 00:01:48,961 Speaker 1: really really want I had this conversation with someone else 34 00:01:49,001 --> 00:01:50,441 Speaker 1: the other day and there was sort. 35 00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:51,041 Speaker 2: Of like that whole. 36 00:01:51,321 --> 00:01:55,521 Speaker 3: It was very generic, it was very surface level. I'm like, yeah, 37 00:01:55,521 --> 00:01:56,561 Speaker 3: I just want to be rich and. 38 00:01:56,521 --> 00:01:58,841 Speaker 2: Famous, and I went, I'd rather be rich, not famous. 39 00:01:59,561 --> 00:02:02,881 Speaker 3: I'd rather be private and have lots of money, yeah, 40 00:02:03,041 --> 00:02:06,121 Speaker 3: than to be in the spotlight everything. 41 00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:08,361 Speaker 1: But the other part with the money part is you 42 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:11,321 Speaker 1: don't want too much that it changes your life too much. 43 00:02:11,401 --> 00:02:14,121 Speaker 1: And the reason I say that is because if you 44 00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:18,921 Speaker 1: imagined winning ten million dollars tonight on Lotto, right, imagine 45 00:02:19,161 --> 00:02:22,081 Speaker 1: and then you've maybe moved house, you probably have moved 46 00:02:22,121 --> 00:02:25,201 Speaker 1: past with ten million dollars. Yeah, so you've moved house. 47 00:02:25,721 --> 00:02:29,401 Speaker 1: Things are changing, people are noticing, you know, you're spending money. 48 00:02:29,601 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: You're going on these trips to Europe every couple of months, 49 00:02:33,481 --> 00:02:37,281 Speaker 1: and at some point people are going to cotton on 50 00:02:37,401 --> 00:02:39,841 Speaker 1: to the fact that you've got loads of money, does 51 00:02:39,921 --> 00:02:43,801 Speaker 1: that affect your relationships with friends? And I know that 52 00:02:43,841 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: you would want to say no, of course, my friends 53 00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: that have always been my friends are still my friends. Yeah, 54 00:02:48,121 --> 00:02:53,201 Speaker 1: I get that, but there's still something around Are you 55 00:02:53,281 --> 00:02:56,601 Speaker 1: then expected to pay for dinner or you know, like 56 00:02:56,841 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: and then I think there's an element of being a 57 00:02:58,841 --> 00:03:02,561 Speaker 1: bit paranoid about whether people are they might not be, 58 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,041 Speaker 1: but are using you for money and things like that, 59 00:03:05,201 --> 00:03:07,441 Speaker 1: and it just gets really messy. And it's like we've 60 00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:11,321 Speaker 1: talked about before, everything that you are currently excited for, 61 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,481 Speaker 1: whether it's dinner in a restaurant on the weekend, holidays, 62 00:03:15,881 --> 00:03:18,721 Speaker 1: whatever it is, you will no longer be excited for 63 00:03:18,721 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: that if you have all the money in the world. 64 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:23,121 Speaker 3: True, I am very generous, but I am selective with 65 00:03:23,201 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 3: who I hang out with now. 66 00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,921 Speaker 2: I'm don't have all the money in the world, so 67 00:03:27,601 --> 00:03:29,201 Speaker 2: I don't think that that would change for me. 68 00:03:29,281 --> 00:03:32,121 Speaker 3: But the generosity level of knowing that I can take 69 00:03:32,201 --> 00:03:36,881 Speaker 3: my chosen circle with me to dinner and feel that 70 00:03:37,401 --> 00:03:40,641 Speaker 3: feeling of that generosity piece, I would love that. Yeah, 71 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:43,401 Speaker 3: I wouldn't feel that part of them going are you 72 00:03:43,481 --> 00:03:44,121 Speaker 3: taking the piece? 73 00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:45,841 Speaker 2: Like bit chickens will. 74 00:03:45,681 --> 00:03:48,681 Speaker 3: Buy me a champagne. I might have ten million dollars, 75 00:03:48,721 --> 00:03:52,961 Speaker 3: but hook me up. So yeah, I reckon that might 76 00:03:53,001 --> 00:03:55,361 Speaker 3: be that, but I am already like knowing who I am. 77 00:03:55,721 --> 00:03:58,201 Speaker 2: I'm very selective about my circle now. 78 00:03:58,481 --> 00:04:00,881 Speaker 1: Maybe it's this stage in life thing. I don't know, 79 00:04:01,001 --> 00:04:05,401 Speaker 1: but I'd much rather have a handful of friends that 80 00:04:05,481 --> 00:04:09,481 Speaker 1: I really love hanging out with then like heaps of 81 00:04:10,441 --> 00:04:15,921 Speaker 1: I've been friend culling rach No honestly, no, no, no, 82 00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:19,201 Speaker 1: just gener general, when I come I feel like I'm 83 00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:22,841 Speaker 1: moving away slightly from the people that I don't have 84 00:04:23,081 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: much in common with anymore. 85 00:04:24,521 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 2: That I think. 86 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:30,001 Speaker 3: I believe it is such an invigorating part of your life, 87 00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:33,001 Speaker 3: and I do believe it starts from thirty. I know 88 00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:36,281 Speaker 3: that we can say it's probably really you know, nailed 89 00:04:36,281 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 3: in now than thirty, but like, just slightly, I think 90 00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 3: it was definitely from me thirty. 91 00:04:43,521 --> 00:04:44,601 Speaker 2: I just felt the shift. 92 00:04:44,641 --> 00:04:46,841 Speaker 3: I felt the change, I felt the flow of life 93 00:04:46,961 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 3: just start to like shift with me. 94 00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:51,880 Speaker 1: And I went on, you're different to the friends that 95 00:04:51,921 --> 00:04:54,321 Speaker 1: you had at like high school for example, or in 96 00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:57,841 Speaker 1: your teen's early twenties. If any of my friends are 97 00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:00,121 Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. By the way, this is not you. 98 00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:02,761 Speaker 1: It's not you. 99 00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:16,841 Speaker 2: I'm not your child. You're next. Just be careful. Am 100 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,081 Speaker 2: I a bad mum for just walking away? 101 00:05:20,081 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: Oh? You have to. 102 00:05:21,361 --> 00:05:23,601 Speaker 3: I was gonna play you, Craig David just then like 103 00:05:23,641 --> 00:05:26,241 Speaker 3: as we over, I'm walking away. Yeah. No, that was 104 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,481 Speaker 3: me at netball training last night with else like she 105 00:05:29,601 --> 00:05:32,681 Speaker 3: does a bit of like solo work on different occasions 106 00:05:33,161 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 3: with a particular coach who's amazing, And we were waiting 107 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 3: for her, and so Elsa and I were just mucking 108 00:05:38,521 --> 00:05:40,121 Speaker 3: around shooting hoops. 109 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 2: I don't know what a problem was. 110 00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 3: She was happy to be there, so it wasn't that 111 00:05:43,681 --> 00:05:44,921 Speaker 3: she was being forced to be there. 112 00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:48,001 Speaker 2: She's just being a bitch to me. And I thought 113 00:05:48,041 --> 00:05:48,561 Speaker 2: of you. 114 00:05:48,761 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 3: Like afterwards, because she kept getting a ball and hitting 115 00:05:51,201 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 3: my ball, so my ball would go I said, oh, 116 00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 3: go and get my ball. Now that was not kind. 117 00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:59,721 Speaker 2: So, you know, shooting, she'd shoot, I'd shoot. 118 00:05:59,841 --> 00:06:02,241 Speaker 3: The ball would bounce kind of thing, and both of 119 00:06:02,281 --> 00:06:04,601 Speaker 3: our balls bounce and she knocked mine so it went 120 00:06:04,641 --> 00:06:05,601 Speaker 3: flying over the court. 121 00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:07,361 Speaker 2: She gets, go and get it. 122 00:06:07,481 --> 00:06:09,761 Speaker 1: Were you in competition with who was getting nice? 123 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 3: No? 124 00:06:10,001 --> 00:06:12,041 Speaker 2: No, we were just killing time. 125 00:06:11,961 --> 00:06:14,681 Speaker 1: Because otherwise I would say that absolutely has got you 126 00:06:14,721 --> 00:06:17,481 Speaker 1: written all over it because you like to win. 127 00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:19,961 Speaker 2: No, no, that was the thing. There was no competition. 128 00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:23,961 Speaker 3: But like happened once, I laughed it off and got 129 00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:26,241 Speaker 3: it the first time, did it again, not. 130 00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,841 Speaker 1: Laughing, No, it's annoying. 131 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:28,921 Speaker 2: Now you go over and she. 132 00:06:28,961 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 3: Was like no. 133 00:06:30,401 --> 00:06:31,401 Speaker 2: I said, go and get the ball. 134 00:06:32,121 --> 00:06:33,601 Speaker 3: No to your ball. 135 00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:36,041 Speaker 2: She goes, well, you shouldn't have shot it in my way. 136 00:06:36,801 --> 00:06:39,761 Speaker 3: Oh it's like that volcanic like, oh my god, I'm 137 00:06:39,761 --> 00:06:41,001 Speaker 3: about to rupt. I can't. 138 00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:42,961 Speaker 2: I'm in public place, and I say, go and get 139 00:06:43,681 --> 00:06:47,121 Speaker 2: my fucking ball now. And she walked over. 140 00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 3: She got it. We kept on going and I was 141 00:06:49,121 --> 00:06:54,041 Speaker 3: like like, okay, diffused and then we're still carrying on. 142 00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:56,761 Speaker 3: And then she turned around and she was so rude. 143 00:06:57,401 --> 00:06:59,481 Speaker 3: She just said something that just sort of like just 144 00:06:59,521 --> 00:07:00,921 Speaker 3: shot me in the heart. And I thought of you 145 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 3: because you were like, you know, if you're starting to 146 00:07:03,201 --> 00:07:06,361 Speaker 3: navigate the older years of children, you've got to actually 147 00:07:06,401 --> 00:07:08,721 Speaker 3: really have your own back, because no one's going to 148 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,561 Speaker 3: protect you from your child. Yeah. 149 00:07:11,001 --> 00:07:13,681 Speaker 1: The other day, I wanted to make a meme. I 150 00:07:13,721 --> 00:07:16,761 Speaker 1: had this intention to I don't know who makes memes, Like, 151 00:07:16,841 --> 00:07:20,801 Speaker 1: do they just you just make when I see them 152 00:07:20,801 --> 00:07:24,441 Speaker 1: on like written out people. I wanted to make a 153 00:07:24,481 --> 00:07:26,361 Speaker 1: meme and it was going to go something like this. 154 00:07:26,481 --> 00:07:30,041 Speaker 1: It was going to go, dear mom, I hate you, 155 00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:33,721 Speaker 1: You're a bitch. I wish you weren't here. Fuck you. 156 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:37,561 Speaker 1: But also, can I have all of your money, all 157 00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:41,321 Speaker 1: of your time, drive me around, do my washing, make 158 00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:46,321 Speaker 1: my dinner, clean the house, and then I will still 159 00:07:46,521 --> 00:07:46,921 Speaker 1: hate you? 160 00:07:47,281 --> 00:07:50,801 Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, love you. I was me. 161 00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:53,321 Speaker 3: I just literally looked at her and was like, are 162 00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:56,281 Speaker 3: you serious? I said, mate, you're going to have to 163 00:07:56,321 --> 00:08:00,001 Speaker 3: be really mindful about where you are right now because 164 00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:03,441 Speaker 3: it's a long way home and you are walking my 165 00:08:03,521 --> 00:08:08,401 Speaker 3: friend it and sprayed me again and Katie, this is 166 00:08:08,441 --> 00:08:08,961 Speaker 3: really hard. 167 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:09,881 Speaker 2: We've just drove there. 168 00:08:09,961 --> 00:08:12,441 Speaker 3: Everything was nice in the car, like, so for me, 169 00:08:12,521 --> 00:08:14,321 Speaker 3: I'm going, sorry, when. 170 00:08:14,201 --> 00:08:15,841 Speaker 2: Did the devil spawn arrive? 171 00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:16,201 Speaker 3: Like? 172 00:08:16,721 --> 00:08:18,561 Speaker 2: What is this about? You know what I did? 173 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:23,601 Speaker 3: Instead of reacting again, because I really wanted to, I 174 00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:26,201 Speaker 3: had to be the bigger person and just walk away 175 00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,801 Speaker 3: rach And so I just walked over to the basket, 176 00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:31,521 Speaker 3: put the netball back in there, picked up my keys, 177 00:08:31,521 --> 00:08:34,641 Speaker 3: picked up my phone, and started walking out. And she 178 00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,161 Speaker 3: came racing up, mum, where are you going? 179 00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:36,881 Speaker 2: You can't leave? 180 00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:40,521 Speaker 3: And I went, yeah, no, I can just leave me be. 181 00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:43,241 Speaker 3: You go back in there, you do your lesson. 182 00:08:43,841 --> 00:08:44,521 Speaker 2: I'll be back. 183 00:08:45,561 --> 00:08:47,321 Speaker 3: No, but you can't like no one's here. And I 184 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,921 Speaker 3: was like, you'll be fine, everything's on, just wait for 185 00:08:49,961 --> 00:08:50,361 Speaker 3: your coach. 186 00:08:50,841 --> 00:08:51,761 Speaker 2: And I just kept walking. 187 00:08:51,881 --> 00:08:54,241 Speaker 3: I could feel her staring me down, and I was like, 188 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,681 Speaker 3: just kept walking. But as I'm walking, I'm like. 189 00:08:56,761 --> 00:08:59,881 Speaker 2: How did we get there? I didn't even know how 190 00:08:59,881 --> 00:09:00,441 Speaker 2: we got there? 191 00:09:00,481 --> 00:09:03,281 Speaker 3: And then you start to like almost like gaslight yourself, 192 00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:06,361 Speaker 3: like did I just do that? Was I the instigator 193 00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:09,241 Speaker 3: of that? Was I not being like fun and doing 194 00:09:09,281 --> 00:09:12,721 Speaker 3: something interactive with her, like active. I could have just 195 00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:14,841 Speaker 3: been like the other mums that just sit there and 196 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,721 Speaker 3: on their phone, but I didn't. And I was like, oh, 197 00:09:16,761 --> 00:09:18,961 Speaker 3: I'll get up shoot with her, just you know, I 198 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:21,841 Speaker 3: don't know where I went wrong, Katie. And then just 199 00:09:21,841 --> 00:09:24,361 Speaker 3: to top it off, I became one of those mums. 200 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,361 Speaker 3: I came back in and they'd started. 201 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,401 Speaker 2: That was fine, I said, hi, the coach. I sat down. 202 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,441 Speaker 3: Then I just got on my phone and she noticed, Yeah, 203 00:09:32,561 --> 00:09:35,401 Speaker 3: she really noticed. They'd do a little thing that she 204 00:09:35,441 --> 00:09:37,481 Speaker 3: has a drink and then on the second time over, 205 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,561 Speaker 3: she said, did you see that then? 206 00:09:39,921 --> 00:09:41,361 Speaker 2: And I said no, sorry, I didn't. 207 00:09:41,401 --> 00:09:42,281 Speaker 3: I'm busy on. 208 00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:45,561 Speaker 2: She says, I know, Well could you put your phone 209 00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:48,081 Speaker 2: down and watch? And I said, well no, I can't. 210 00:09:49,361 --> 00:09:52,641 Speaker 3: Really sorry, And then I was like, okay, you're being childish, Rachel. 211 00:09:53,081 --> 00:09:55,521 Speaker 3: I was so angry, Katie. And then I was going 212 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:59,201 Speaker 3: to bed. I was still angry and felt so guilty. Yeah, 213 00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:03,521 Speaker 3: and so again gaslighting myself over my own. 214 00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:06,281 Speaker 2: Like why was I so triggered? I was so upset? 215 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,561 Speaker 3: What was it that she exactly said that made me 216 00:10:08,561 --> 00:10:11,841 Speaker 3: feel like shit in myself because it's more about my feelings, 217 00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:13,961 Speaker 3: Like I laid there for at least forty five minutes 218 00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:14,521 Speaker 3: thinking about that. 219 00:10:14,721 --> 00:10:17,601 Speaker 1: I get it, Like, I definitely do that. Sometimes you've 220 00:10:17,641 --> 00:10:20,921 Speaker 1: just got to accept the fact that they're being assholes. Yeah, 221 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,761 Speaker 1: you're probably overthinking it. 222 00:10:22,961 --> 00:10:24,521 Speaker 3: When I woke up this morning, I thought, I just 223 00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:27,681 Speaker 3: need to check myself into a fucking straight jacket somewhere. 224 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,921 Speaker 2: Do you have any other No, I don't, But I 225 00:10:30,961 --> 00:10:32,161 Speaker 2: really want you to excuse me. 226 00:10:32,241 --> 00:10:35,081 Speaker 1: I need to be sectioned. What are you doing about? 227 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,921 Speaker 1: What do I need to do? Do you want me 228 00:10:36,961 --> 00:10:38,761 Speaker 1: to act like a lunatic outside. 229 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,441 Speaker 3: How do you accept me as a patient but you're 230 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:41,961 Speaker 3: not unwell? 231 00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:45,601 Speaker 2: I know, but I just really I'm going to be. 232 00:10:48,201 --> 00:10:49,201 Speaker 2: I just need a break. 233 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,521 Speaker 3: So if I'm in here, I guess it's an excuse 234 00:10:51,841 --> 00:10:55,961 Speaker 3: like can I come in please? That's I was like, 235 00:10:56,161 --> 00:10:58,721 Speaker 3: I receeve id net a holiday or something. I don't know.