WEBVTT - #1963 Failing Successfully - Kelly Smith 0:00:01.440 --> 0:00:06.440 I'll get a Champs, craig Anthy, Kelly Smith, Tiffany and Cook. Kelly. 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:11.440 What's your middle name? We should know that Marie, Kelly, Marie. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:16.800 You know Melissa of also of the typ Brigade is 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.720 also Marie. She's Melissa Marie. We've got Kelly, Maurrie. I 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.200 shouldn't forget that. We've got Tiffany, and we've got craig 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:29.800 An Sidney, you know, so same ballpark. We'll start with 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:37.280 the life force Cook, who's all over the joint, whose testosterone. 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:41.160 Is skyrocketed at tire than yours. HAPs I've been wrapped 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:42.159 on the knuckles. 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:45.360 I've been saving up for an erection for about ten years, 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:50.400 so mine is mine's fucking I think Mary's got high 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:55.160 testosterone than me. So I've got a down payment on one. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:58.680 It's coming in November, so I probably won't be able 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:04.319 to podcast that day. Oh fuck it, you know I 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:07.160 thought of that, as you know, when you like me, 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:10.800 I'm always thinking should I say this out loud? And 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:12.600 then I went a few people are going to get 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.440 pissed off. I went, fuck it, it's a joke, and 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.360 so I just there you go. It's out into the world. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:22.920 It's recorded, it's going to be released. Tell the world 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.479 or tell whatever you want, because you've been, I mean 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:30.240 you've been quite public talking about your perimenopause and your 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:35.119 your peaks and troughs of energy and strength and injuries 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:38.000 and hormones and the fucking shit fest that you've been 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:41.720 navigating with your body. Give us a kind of a 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:45.520 thirty to sixty second update, because you know, we're all 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:48.240 on the edge of our fucking medical clinical seats. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:55.440 It's a bloody festival. Strap in. So I went to. 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:55.760 Get so. 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:01.320 HRT twelve weeks on HRT four weeks after I started 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:04.280 that started on testosterone because when that got tested, that 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:09.360 was low tanked, hideous. And as I was getting to 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.440 the end of my tube of testoster, I had to 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:15.440 book my next blood test to go and see what 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:21.639 goo is. And it's over now it's it's nudged up 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.760 over the higher upper end. 0:02:25.400 --> 0:02:32.160 So now is it? Like? Sorry, nanomol's per leader, isn't it? 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:36.320 And I think in America it's nanograms per desa letter 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:37.239 or something. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.079 But different, very confusing. 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:43.160 Yeah, yeah, well on one's measured in volume as in 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:45.840 liquid volume, ones measured in weight, I think. But anyway, 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:48.280 it's the same, but they just have it is weird 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:52.320 that they have different numbers for the same thing. So anyway, 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.359 what's the range for you? And what's your actual number? 0:02:55.639 --> 0:03:00.000 So the range is one point eight to three? Yeah, 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:04.760 I started it point nine. 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:10.120 Okay, so one point eight and you started zero point nine, 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:12.760 so you're well under the bottom yep. 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.120 Yeah, and now I'm three point three. 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:20.639 Did you say the rangers up to three? Yeah, well 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:22.200 you're only just a little bit over. 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.960 And smidge it over. But I was like, oh, I'm over. 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:29.320 I should be throwing cars over people. 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:34.320 Well, I mean it's it's should. 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:36.400 You But I feel good. But yeah, I mean that's 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:39.400 good because it means I get to lower the dosage 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:40.960 because that ship's not cheap. 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.920 No, no, and it's yeah, and it's to be clear, 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:49.040 it's a it's a cream that's rubbed in. It's not 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.280 an injection. It's not a tablet. It's not a medicine 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:57.760 in the oral sense. How much is it? Like, I 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:01.800 know how much that everyone's thinking, harps ask her how 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:02.320 much it is? 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:06.920 Yeah, one hundred bucks a tube. One hundred tube tube 0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:11.160 is fifty mil take five mili use five mil a day. 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:15.680 So it's one hundred uses. I calculated today that I've 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:17.840 been a little bit generous because. 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:20.480 It's just stupid. Didn't you just say use five mil 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:21.000 a day. 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.799 Zero point five? Did I say five mil point five? 0:04:25.600 --> 0:04:27.240 And it's one hundred meal tube. 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:29.760 It's a fifty meal tube, all right, So. 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.040 That's one hundred days one hundred bucks. That's a dollar 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.599 a day. Yeah, not even It's not even a quarter 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:35.320 of a coffee. 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:37.719 Do you know how much I'm spending on supplements to 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:40.480 support this bullshit? Then I've got to buy estrogen, Then 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:43.320 I've got to buy progesterone, and I've got three dollars 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:48.599 thirty a day worth of detoxificication detoxification supplements to support 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:51.760 my fucking body to process this Stuff's got about fifteen 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:53.920 hundred to two grand a year, just so I don't 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:55.360 feel like an asshole. 0:04:56.400 --> 0:05:01.240 Wow, wow statements. Yeah, it's a good investment because you're 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.680 not at all up and down and your emotions are 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:09.080 just great. You're not grumpy at all. So whatever you're doing, yeah, 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:13.360 keep doing that. A friend of mine, not me. I know, 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.760 people might go, oh, that's just you know, literally, a 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:22.839 friend of mine is on growth hormone growth hormone. I 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:27.160 don't know what it were, you know, but what it's 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:29.599 it varies a little bit, I guess on price, but 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:38.200 they pay three hundred and fifty dollars per thing. And 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:42.800 you know, so the the little kind of vial, it 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:48.320 has one point five mil in it, so one point 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.760 five milli liters. So in other words, you know, think 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:56.040 a teaspoon is five meal, so it's one point five mil. 0:05:56.120 --> 0:06:02.800 It's three hundred and fifty dollars. Three. Well, I think 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:05.560 they're meant to use it more sparingly than they do. 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:13.040 But a a week whoa, yeah. 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:16.480 Well they could almost pay my rent instead. 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:22.960 And also might I say regrets, I've had a few, No, 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:27.279 that's seth song. Might I say that? How do I 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.360 say this without getting anyone in trouble? You know, once 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.880 you open that door that some people open in that 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:36.200 kind of bodybuilding realm, you know what I'm saying there, 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:40.480 all of those special supplements that some people take thousand 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:42.800 dollars a week is not even towards the upper end. 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:44.000 Wow. 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:49.920 Yeah, and yes, and I do know a few people 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:52.520 in that, and especially once you get up towards the 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:57.360 pointy end. Yeah, very very expensive. 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:01.040 I thought you bickuanol at fifty cents a day was expensive. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.680 What's your big one? I should know that. What is that? 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:09.920 It's an active form of co q ten It coq. 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:11.000 Ten coenzyme q ten. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:13.440 Yes, yeah, yeah, right right right. I have to have 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.600 that form because I've got I don't know, a whole 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:17.600 bunch of crap scens going on. 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:21.360 People ask me what I take. I'm going to be 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:23.480 like four disclosure. This is what I take. I take 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:25.840 one out of PRO a day, which is a blood 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:30.280 pressure tablet, and that's purely because that's genetic. Thanks Mum, 0:07:30.320 --> 0:07:36.680 and thanks Dad. I take creatine. I take what else 0:07:36.720 --> 0:07:41.880 do I take? I take trimethyl glycine, I take glue 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:46.160 to mine, and I take L R jentine and they're 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.360 they're all SUPs. Shout out to Maxis, by the way, 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.520 thanks Maxis. So I pay let's see seven over the 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:58.080 four zero, which is good. And yeah, they're the only 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:02.320 SUPs I take. And so it costs me whatever ever procost. 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.520 That's it. But anyway, we probably didn't need to open 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:08.120 this door Kell because Kel's like this is in the 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.600 fucking conversation we spoke about having. 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:13.960 No But it's a good conversation though, And what's so 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:17.000 interesting about what you said before, Tiff, is that there's 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.960 so many women that can't afford any of what you're taking. Yeah, 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:24.720 and they have to ride through all of this perimenopause, 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:29.120 menopause hell, because they've got you know, three or four kids, 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:31.640 or they might not be employed, or it's a choice 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:37.360 between food, rent or the drugs. It's horrendous, absolutely horrendous. 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:41.800 Yeah, yeah, that is true. That is true, and it's 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.920 it's like, what do it? There's no quick fix for that, 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:49.960 is there? And so many people are in that position too, 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:52.920 kel like so many It's not like, oh yeah that's rare. No, 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:58.880 that's that's pretty common. That's pretty common. All right, So 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:04.320 you're back, You're back. You're becoming You're becoming quite part 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:05.480 of the furniture, aren't you. 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:08.040 Seems like it, do you know? 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.160 The good thing about having you is well, one, you're 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:14.920 good at this. Two I don't have to think. I 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:16.920 mean I have to think when we're doing it, but 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.839 I don't have to plan because you go, I got 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.360 a question, awesome questions. I'm like, good, what time You're 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:29.280 like whatever, I'm like, all right, let's do that. So alrighty, 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:33.120 So did you want to talk about failure or something? 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:37.840 I yeah, I did so. I was reading something this morning, 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.679 so full disclosure, I've seen this somewhere else today, and 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:42.960 I thought, that's a question that I'm going to borrow 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:47.280 and reappropriate and ask Craig and now Tiff as well. 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:51.520 And it kind of backs onto what we were talking 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:54.920 about last week, which we called, you know, aiming for average. 0:09:55.400 --> 0:10:00.920 So what what do you consider to be your biggest 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.839 failure and what did you learn from it? And then 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.000 I thought, let's take that a little bit further and 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:13.160 is anything actually a failure or just the harder way 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:14.160 of learning something? 0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:20.640 Yeah, they're great questions, you know when you you kind 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:23.400 of I think in your SMS earlier today. Sorry I've 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.800 looked at one hundred SMSs, but I think you said yes, 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.000 something like what was your biggest failure? And I thought, 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:33.600 I really couldn't literally just name one, and there's nothing 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:37.720 that stands out. But I mean, although I've had Okay, 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:41.880 let's backtrack. I reckon failure is a construct right failure. 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:45.199 The term it's an idea, it's a story, it's an 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:49.600 interpretation of something that happens in our world. And I 0:10:49.640 --> 0:10:52.480 think we need to use that word if we're on 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:57.199 the self improvement, not delusional, but the self improvement, self help, 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:03.080 personal development, positive psychology. I want to think better, do better, 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:06.000 be better. I don't want to be deluded. But you know, 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:08.880 if we're always saying, oh, I did I tried that, 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:11.080 but I failed, I did that, I was a failure, 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.880 that if we're always calling things that don't work out 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:18.360 the way we want a failure or a failed attempt, 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.959 then we're calling ourselves by virtue of that, we're calling 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.640 ourselves a failure. Now that's not to say we'll never 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:26.840 fuck up, we'll never get stuff wrong, we'll never get 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:32.040 the outcome that you know we didn't want. We'll often 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:34.839 get the outcome we didn't want, and we sometimes will 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:36.640 get the outcome we do want. But I just think 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:41.880 it's like, how do we navigate and move through that 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:47.080 mentally and emotionally? And you know what I was Stop me, 0:11:47.200 --> 0:11:50.040 either of you if you want to interrupt, But I 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.959 was thinking about at what age do we understand this 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:59.880 concept of failure? Because you think babies don't experience failure, 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:04.280 babies don't fail at anything, because they don't they haven't 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:09.160 yet been taught, oh you can fail, So they don't fail. 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:13.480 They don't label anything of failure. They just have experiences. 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:19.920 They haven't yet learned that what they do and how 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:24.360 they do it can be evaluated as good or bad, 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:28.920 or worthy or unworthy, or a failure as success. And 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:33.520 if we unpack that through a psychological lens, we're talking 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:40.680 about like the developmental window before self conscious emotions and 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:48.480 socially constructed evaluated frameworks or evaluative frameworks kick in. So 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.720 like this is a social construct, Oh you can fail, 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.280 you can win, you can be a success. And of 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:59.840 course in the real world there is you know, a 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.800 course we can I guess technically fail at things. Of course, 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:07.360 so you wanted to run, you wanted to win the race, 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.079 and you came last, So you could we understand You 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:13.120 might say that that was a failure. I understand it also, 0:13:13.760 --> 0:13:16.320 or you could just say I wanted this outcome, I 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:18.400 didn't get it. This was the outcome. I go, what 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:20.680 does that mean? What can I learn? What can I 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:24.240 do better? What did I learn from my competition? So 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:29.400 I think that while not pretending that we're in you know, 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:37.160 Disneyland and acknowledging the practical reality that in a real world, 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:42.680 experiential sense, failure and success are constructs that we live 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:46.319 around and live by. I think on a personal level 0:13:47.640 --> 0:13:50.480 while being able to recognize I didn't get the outcome 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:55.360 that I want. We can reframe things you know there 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:58.800 are like for example, I could say, and I do 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:02.000 say this sometimes say it more for effect than anything else. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.800 I could say the first six hundred episodes of the 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:11.440 upre U project were a failure because I didn't have 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:13.760 a big audience. For at least the first hundred or 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:17.679 two hundred or three hundred, I lost money, I didn't 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:21.640 have sponsors, there were times when it wasn't a great product, 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.200 and so on and so on. And it wasn't until 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:26.800 I was in the six hundreds that I actually started 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:32.400 to succeed. In inverted commas, if we call success something 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:37.760 being commercially viable, or you could go, I did six episodes. 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.440 It was so much fucking fun, six hundred episodes. I 0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.360 should say so much fun. I learned so much. I 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:48.120 met cool people, I got to develop skill and awareness, 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:52.200 and I learned lots of new things. I opened new doors. 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.120 I had all of these experiences that I would not 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.920 have had if not for this vehicle called the U Project. 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:03.600 How lucky am I? Now that's two interpretations of exactly 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:08.960 the same thing. While intellectually understanding I could have done better, 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:11.880 I also could have done worse. I could have done 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:15.280 twenty episodes and gone fuck this, this will never work 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:18.640 and give given up? You know what I mean? So 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:24.400 I think that you know that like coming back to kids, 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:30.160 like understanding that there will come a point in time. 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:34.000 Usually the point in time is around eighteen to twenty 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:37.400 four months. It's that you both heard me talk about 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.880 theory of mind. Theory of mind is where we start 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:46.320 to have an awareness of other people's thinking, and kids 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:53.720 start to vaguely understand this social construct that they could 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:57.240 do things that are good or bad, like, oh, aren't 0:15:57.240 --> 0:16:01.560 you a beautiful? Look at your dancing? Your dancings are amazing. Right, Well, 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.320 that's a judgment. It's a nice judgment, But no one's 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:05.840 going to look at the two year old dancing and 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:07.840 go fucking hell, what are you doing with your feet? 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:11.120 Get your shit together like you're not following the corry, 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:13.920 Try harder, go to your room, and when you come 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.240 back out, we expect you to be in time and 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:19.200 on point. Right, But there's the. 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:21.440 Flip side to that, though, isn't there in terms of 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:27.240 like kids development, and sometimes they just have really asshole 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:30.360 parents that do actually project a form of that and 0:16:30.400 --> 0:16:32.160 then you know, hello, yuse of therapy. 0:16:31.920 --> 0:16:38.200 Later, but enough about your childhood. So all right, you 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:43.640 can't dance. So that was an insight. Thanks for that. No, 0:16:43.760 --> 0:16:47.560 you're exactly right. You're exactly right, And I think, but 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:51.720 then here's the other side to bring into that, Curl 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:57.720 and Tiff, how I mean, how much do we go 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.360 You're amazing, You're amazing, that's beautiful, You're the best answer 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.320 in the world. Just thing like, how much do we 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:05.040 do that when maybe it's not true? But also we 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:07.600 don't want to go fuck and hell, you sound like 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.560 a cat suresh. You know, we don't want to do that, 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.359 but we want them to learn that the world's not 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:17.080 always going to love or approve of, or endorse or 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:21.440 embrace everything about them, you know. So it's a it's 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:26.120 an interesting you know, I'm not a parent, of course, 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:29.400 so I don't I'm speaking purely out of my buttom 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:36.199 My theoretical, but tom but I would imagine that that 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:44.480 is a really a challenging kind of emotional social psychological 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:50.000 tightrope for parents to walk, like how much do I 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.439 you know? And at what age do I start to 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:56.840 give them more informed feedback while still being loving and 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:00.240 compassionate and kind. And at what point is another bit, 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:03.199 at what point there's telling? And we'll get back to 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:06.160 the failure conversation, But at what point does telling kids 0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:09.760 that they're amazing? When does that start to become a negative? 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:12.480 Because when they step out of home, you know, the 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:16.720 amazing zone, and they other people treat them and talk 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.880 to them wildly differently, and they don't they're not prepared 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:24.080 for life beyond the amazing bubble. Yeah. 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:28.080 Interesting, and I guess that would I was going to say, 0:18:28.200 --> 0:18:32.040 in a sense set them up for failure in that 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:36.239 societal construct, right, because they're coming out of home and 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.040 they've been told that forever, you know, even though they 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:41.600 sound like a cat, that they're amazing and they can 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.280 sing like Celene Doon, And then they get to school 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.040 and they've got people in the schoolyard going shut up 0:18:47.440 --> 0:18:51.600 like you know you Yeah, it's that would be a 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.280 very harsh reality for a young kid to face. 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:59.400 Yeah, I think for me, because I know I say 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:02.040 this too much. It's just true, and it's on point 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:05.600 for the conversation. But because I didn't win stuff when 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:07.600 I was a kid, Like, I wasn't great at stuff, 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:10.920 and no, I wasn't atrocious, but yeah, I wasn't the 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:15.320 kid winning things. I wasn't the kid winning academic things 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:19.040 or creative things, or sporting things, or athletic things, or 0:19:19.520 --> 0:19:23.600 you know. I wasn't that kid. And so I dealt 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:26.800 with a lot of what you could call failure. I 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.080 mean literally, when I was in year seven, we had 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:33.520 a cross country run that was compulsory every week. I 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:35.480 was the fattest kid in school. My name was Jumbo. 0:19:35.600 --> 0:19:37.480 Every week, out of one hundred and thirty kids, I 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:39.679 came one hundred and thirtieth week in, week out, one 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:42.800 hundred and thirtieth, So one hundred and twenty nine kids 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.800 in front of me every week, ninety two or three 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:51.040 kilo Jumbo who's thirteen years old, who's morbidly obese, who 0:19:51.080 --> 0:19:54.080 can't fucking run. He does the five k run in 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:57.800 about an hour because he's not running, and I come last. 0:19:57.800 --> 0:19:59.800 And so that's and there's no self pity in that. 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.840 I don't need anything for that. That's just my you know, 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:08.240 that was my experience, and it's like, then you can, 0:20:08.400 --> 0:20:11.200 I guess for some people that's going to be almost 0:20:11.280 --> 0:20:13.719 like an emotional anchor for the rest of their life, 0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:16.240 and I don't know what determines whether or not that 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:21.040 is or that then becomes maybe a platform for you going, well, fuck, 0:20:21.080 --> 0:20:25.320 what if I actually what if I actually tried, like 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.119 what if I change my thinking and my habits and 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:32.280 what if I, you know, tried to move away from 0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:34.879 this current reality? Like what could I do? And so 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:39.679 for me, not being good at stuff eventually became almost 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:47.280 like my motivational superpower And what really was a massive 0:20:47.320 --> 0:20:51.320 reframe from me was going from I'm shit at stuff 0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:54.840 to oh, I've actually got quite a lot of potential. 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:59.000 I just haven't used my potential. When I started to run, 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:01.560 when I started to live weights, when I when I 0:21:01.600 --> 0:21:04.439 started to play football at a decent level, when I 0:21:04.480 --> 0:21:07.800 started to train, you know, I'd go out by myself 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.159 because I wasn't naturally skilled, but I would kick a 0:21:10.200 --> 0:21:12.600 footy both sides of the body, I would handball both hands. 0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:15.000 I would go to footy training and train. Then I 0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:17.680 would do at least that much football training by myself. 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:21.399 That my my friends didn't do right because I didn't 0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:25.640 have their natural ability. And so I think that over 0:21:25.720 --> 0:21:31.399 time you can leverage off that failure or that disappointment 0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:36.200 or those outcomes that you don't want or enjoy done 0:21:36.280 --> 0:21:40.119 the right way, you know. And it's while I understand 0:21:40.200 --> 0:21:43.840 the embarrassment, and I even understand the self pity, and 0:21:44.160 --> 0:21:48.359 I get all of it. But at some stage, you know, 0:21:48.520 --> 0:21:51.040 if you want to move beyond that, you probably got to, 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:55.679 you know, feel that pain anyway and make different decisions. 0:21:57.320 --> 0:21:59.960 Yeah, which is exactly that, you know? Is it fail 0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:02.919 or just a hard way of learning the lesson and 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:08.000 appreciating it? Which it's quite interesting, Like when as soon 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.719 as I thought of, like posing that question to you, 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:12.679 I thought this was going to be an absolute flip 0:22:12.760 --> 0:22:16.720 side to this in that failure doesn't really exist for 0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:20.199 a lot of people because they will pivot from it, 0:22:20.240 --> 0:22:24.520 they'll learn from it, they'll grow from it. When you 0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:27.560 were talking before about the first six hundred versus. 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:29.040 Beyond that, what. 0:22:30.520 --> 0:22:35.440 Are you more appreciative of the first six hundred or 0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:37.040 where that's let you go? 0:22:37.640 --> 0:22:41.200 Oh, such a good question. I hadn't thought about that, 0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:45.280 But I mean, I probably don't want to the obvious 0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:48.840 what people think are the first six hundred of course, Yeah, 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:51.800 it's just a real opportunity to grow and learn and evolve, 0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:55.479 and not really, I mean all of it, all of it. 0:22:55.600 --> 0:22:57.520 That's not one more than the other. I mean it's 0:22:57.560 --> 0:22:59.359 good when things are going good and you're making a 0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:01.879 few dollars and you know, you get a bit of 0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:04.960 like a decent brand and reputation and people with high 0:23:05.040 --> 0:23:07.360 profiles want to be on your show, and that's certainly 0:23:07.359 --> 0:23:10.960 fucking helped. So that's fun. But definitely for me, the 0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:14.919 first six hundred episodes weren't painful. And it's like you 0:23:15.000 --> 0:23:17.119 think of a you two could say the same, Tiff 0:23:17.119 --> 0:23:19.880 could say the same. Like Tiff right now has gone 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.760 from baby steps presenter no fucking idea to a bit 0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:26.240 of an idea, to being in front of audiences, to 0:23:26.240 --> 0:23:29.960 developing insight and skill to starting to refine and hone 0:23:30.359 --> 0:23:34.840 and she'll you know, and now she's i would say, 0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:37.600 quite a good speaker at a professional level. But in 0:23:37.640 --> 0:23:40.000 five years she's going to be better. In two years, 0:23:40.040 --> 0:23:41.520 she's going to be better, you know. But it's not 0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:43.760 like where she is like where she is now is 0:23:43.920 --> 0:23:46.440 a huge development from where she was three years ago. 0:23:46.880 --> 0:23:51.040 And when I started, I was shit, and you go, well, 0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:54.879 I can't get good without being shit. And you know 0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:57.320 when people go, oh, you were never shit, that that's 0:23:57.480 --> 0:24:01.479 actually not true. I did presentations that were terrible. I 0:24:01.560 --> 0:24:04.240 lost my way, I forgot what I was going to say, 0:24:04.440 --> 0:24:08.240 I got fucking in the middle of a sentence, lost 0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:13.359 you know, my train of thought, and told stories that 0:24:13.400 --> 0:24:17.879 didn't land, and you know, pissed people off because I 0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:21.920 used a term that I didn't mean to be, you know, insensitive, 0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:24.400 but to them it wasn't insensitive. And then I realized 0:24:24.440 --> 0:24:26.480 halfway through, and then I got nervous because now that 0:24:26.600 --> 0:24:29.080 lady or that man over there are fucking grumpy at me, 0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:32.080 and they've given me daggers, and I'm like, oh fuck, 0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:35.240 this shit is hard, you know, and it just takes 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.159 That's where you got to go. You know. It's the 0:24:38.240 --> 0:24:40.359 old how to become a black belt. You get punched 0:24:40.400 --> 0:24:41.960