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Speaker 1: I'll get a Champs, craig Anthy, Kelly Smith, Tiffany and Cook. Kelly.

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Speaker 1: What's your middle name? We should know that Marie, Kelly, Marie.

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Speaker 1: You know Melissa of also of the typ Brigade is

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Speaker 1: also Marie. She's Melissa Marie. We've got Kelly, Maurrie. I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't forget that. We've got Tiffany, and we've got craig

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Speaker 1: An Sidney, you know, so same ballpark. We'll start with

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Speaker 1: the life force Cook, who's all over the joint, whose testosterone.

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Speaker 2: Is skyrocketed at tire than yours. HAPs I've been wrapped

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Speaker 2: on the knuckles.

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Speaker 1: I've been saving up for an erection for about ten years,

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Speaker 1: so mine is mine's fucking I think Mary's got high

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Speaker 1: testosterone than me. So I've got a down payment on one.

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Speaker 1: It's coming in November, so I probably won't be able

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Speaker 1: to podcast that day. Oh fuck it, you know I

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Speaker 1: thought of that, as you know, when you like me,

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Speaker 1: I'm always thinking should I say this out loud? And

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Speaker 1: then I went a few people are going to get

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Speaker 1: pissed off. I went, fuck it, it's a joke, and

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Speaker 1: so I just there you go. It's out into the world.

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Speaker 1: It's recorded, it's going to be released. Tell the world

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Speaker 1: or tell whatever you want, because you've been, I mean

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Speaker 1: you've been quite public talking about your perimenopause and your

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Speaker 1: your peaks and troughs of energy and strength and injuries

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Speaker 1: and hormones and the fucking shit fest that you've been

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Speaker 1: navigating with your body. Give us a kind of a

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Speaker 1: thirty to sixty second update, because you know, we're all

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Speaker 1: on the edge of our fucking medical clinical seats.

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Speaker 2: It's a bloody festival. Strap in. So I went to.

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Speaker 3: Get so.

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Speaker 2: HRT twelve weeks on HRT four weeks after I started

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Speaker 2: that started on testosterone because when that got tested, that

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Speaker 2: was low tanked, hideous. And as I was getting to

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Speaker 2: the end of my tube of testoster, I had to

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Speaker 2: book my next blood test to go and see what

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Speaker 2: goo is. And it's over now it's it's nudged up

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Speaker 2: over the higher upper end.

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Speaker 1: So now is it? Like? Sorry, nanomol's per leader, isn't it?

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Speaker 1: And I think in America it's nanograms per desa letter

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Speaker 1: or something.

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Speaker 2: But different, very confusing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well on one's measured in volume as in

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Speaker 1: liquid volume, ones measured in weight, I think. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: it's the same, but they just have it is weird

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Speaker 1: that they have different numbers for the same thing. So anyway,

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Speaker 1: what's the range for you? And what's your actual number?

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Speaker 2: So the range is one point eight to three? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I started it point nine.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so one point eight and you started zero point nine,

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Speaker 1: so you're well under the bottom yep.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and now I'm three point three.

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Speaker 1: Did you say the rangers up to three? Yeah, well

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Speaker 1: you're only just a little bit over.

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Speaker 2: And smidge it over. But I was like, oh, I'm over.

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Speaker 2: I should be throwing cars over people.

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Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's it's should.

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Speaker 2: You But I feel good. But yeah, I mean that's

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Speaker 2: good because it means I get to lower the dosage

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Speaker 2: because that ship's not cheap.

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Speaker 1: No, no, and it's yeah, and it's to be clear,

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a cream that's rubbed in. It's not

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Speaker 1: an injection. It's not a tablet. It's not a medicine

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Speaker 1: in the oral sense. How much is it? Like, I

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Speaker 1: know how much that everyone's thinking, harps ask her how

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Speaker 1: much it is?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred bucks a tube. One hundred tube tube

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Speaker 2: is fifty mil take five mili use five mil a day.

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Speaker 2: So it's one hundred uses. I calculated today that I've

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Speaker 2: been a little bit generous because.

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Speaker 1: It's just stupid. Didn't you just say use five mil

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Speaker 1: a day.

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Speaker 2: Zero point five? Did I say five mil point five?

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Speaker 1: And it's one hundred meal tube.

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Speaker 2: It's a fifty meal tube, all right, So.

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Speaker 1: That's one hundred days one hundred bucks. That's a dollar

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Speaker 1: a day. Yeah, not even It's not even a quarter

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Speaker 1: of a coffee.

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Speaker 2: Do you know how much I'm spending on supplements to

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Speaker 2: support this bullshit? Then I've got to buy estrogen, Then

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Speaker 2: I've got to buy progesterone, and I've got three dollars

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Speaker 2: thirty a day worth of detoxificication detoxification supplements to support

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Speaker 2: my fucking body to process this Stuff's got about fifteen

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Speaker 2: hundred to two grand a year, just so I don't

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Speaker 2: feel like an asshole.

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Speaker 1: Wow, wow statements. Yeah, it's a good investment because you're

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Speaker 1: not at all up and down and your emotions are

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Speaker 1: just great. You're not grumpy at all. So whatever you're doing, yeah,

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Speaker 1: keep doing that. A friend of mine, not me. I know,

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Speaker 1: people might go, oh, that's just you know, literally, a

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Speaker 1: friend of mine is on growth hormone growth hormone. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it were, you know, but what it's

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Speaker 1: it varies a little bit, I guess on price, but

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Speaker 1: they pay three hundred and fifty dollars per thing. And

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Speaker 1: you know, so the the little kind of vial, it

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Speaker 1: has one point five mil in it, so one point

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Speaker 1: five milli liters. So in other words, you know, think

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Speaker 1: a teaspoon is five meal, so it's one point five mil.

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Speaker 1: It's three hundred and fifty dollars. Three. Well, I think

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Speaker 1: they're meant to use it more sparingly than they do.

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Speaker 1: But a a week whoa, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well they could almost pay my rent instead.

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Speaker 1: And also might I say regrets, I've had a few, No,

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Speaker 1: that's seth song. Might I say that? How do I

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Speaker 1: say this without getting anyone in trouble? You know, once

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Speaker 1: you open that door that some people open in that

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Speaker 1: kind of bodybuilding realm, you know what I'm saying there,

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Speaker 1: all of those special supplements that some people take thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars a week is not even towards the upper end.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and yes, and I do know a few people

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Speaker 1: in that, and especially once you get up towards the

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Speaker 1: pointy end. Yeah, very very expensive.

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Speaker 2: I thought you bickuanol at fifty cents a day was expensive.

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Speaker 1: What's your big one? I should know that. What is that?

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Speaker 2: It's an active form of co q ten It coq.

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Speaker 1: Ten coenzyme q ten.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, right right right. I have to have

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Speaker 2: that form because I've got I don't know, a whole

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Speaker 2: bunch of crap scens going on.

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Speaker 1: People ask me what I take. I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: like four disclosure. This is what I take. I take

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Speaker 1: one out of PRO a day, which is a blood

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Speaker 1: pressure tablet, and that's purely because that's genetic. Thanks Mum,

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Speaker 1: and thanks Dad. I take creatine. I take what else

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Speaker 1: do I take? I take trimethyl glycine, I take glue

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Speaker 1: to mine, and I take L R jentine and they're

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Speaker 1: they're all SUPs. Shout out to Maxis, by the way,

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Speaker 1: thanks Maxis. So I pay let's see seven over the

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Speaker 1: four zero, which is good. And yeah, they're the only

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Speaker 1: SUPs I take. And so it costs me whatever ever procost.

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Speaker 1: That's it. But anyway, we probably didn't need to open

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Speaker 1: this door Kell because Kel's like this is in the

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Speaker 1: fucking conversation we spoke about having.

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Speaker 3: No But it's a good conversation though, And what's so

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Speaker 3: interesting about what you said before, Tiff, is that there's

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Speaker 3: so many women that can't afford any of what you're taking. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and they have to ride through all of this perimenopause,

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Speaker 3: menopause hell, because they've got you know, three or four kids,

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Speaker 3: or they might not be employed, or it's a choice

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Speaker 3: between food, rent or the drugs. It's horrendous, absolutely horrendous.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is true. That is true, and it's

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Speaker 1: it's like, what do it? There's no quick fix for that,

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Speaker 1: is there? And so many people are in that position too,

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Speaker 1: kel like so many It's not like, oh yeah that's rare. No,

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Speaker 1: that's that's pretty common. That's pretty common. All right, So

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Speaker 1: you're back, You're back. You're becoming You're becoming quite part

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Speaker 1: of the furniture, aren't you.

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Speaker 3: Seems like it, do you know?

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Speaker 1: The good thing about having you is well, one, you're

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Speaker 1: good at this. Two I don't have to think. I

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Speaker 1: mean I have to think when we're doing it, but

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Speaker 1: I don't have to plan because you go, I got

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Speaker 1: a question, awesome questions. I'm like, good, what time You're

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Speaker 1: like whatever, I'm like, all right, let's do that. So alrighty,

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Speaker 1: So did you want to talk about failure or something?

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Speaker 3: I yeah, I did so. I was reading something this morning,

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Speaker 3: so full disclosure, I've seen this somewhere else today, and

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Speaker 3: I thought, that's a question that I'm going to borrow

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Speaker 3: and reappropriate and ask Craig and now Tiff as well.

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Speaker 3: And it kind of backs onto what we were talking

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Speaker 3: about last week, which we called, you know, aiming for average.

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Speaker 3: So what what do you consider to be your biggest

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Speaker 3: failure and what did you learn from it? And then

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Speaker 3: I thought, let's take that a little bit further and

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Speaker 3: is anything actually a failure or just the harder way

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Speaker 3: of learning something?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're great questions, you know when you you kind

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Speaker 1: of I think in your SMS earlier today. Sorry I've

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Speaker 1: looked at one hundred SMSs, but I think you said yes,

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Speaker 1: something like what was your biggest failure? And I thought,

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Speaker 1: I really couldn't literally just name one, and there's nothing

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Speaker 1: that stands out. But I mean, although I've had Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's backtrack. I reckon failure is a construct right failure.

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Speaker 1: The term it's an idea, it's a story, it's an

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Speaker 1: interpretation of something that happens in our world. And I

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Speaker 1: think we need to use that word if we're on

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Speaker 1: the self improvement, not delusional, but the self improvement, self help,

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Speaker 1: personal development, positive psychology. I want to think better, do better,

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Speaker 1: be better. I don't want to be deluded. But you know,

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Speaker 1: if we're always saying, oh, I did I tried that,

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Speaker 1: but I failed, I did that, I was a failure,

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Speaker 1: that if we're always calling things that don't work out

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Speaker 1: the way we want a failure or a failed attempt,

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Speaker 1: then we're calling ourselves by virtue of that, we're calling

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Speaker 1: ourselves a failure. Now that's not to say we'll never

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Speaker 1: fuck up, we'll never get stuff wrong, we'll never get

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Speaker 1: the outcome that you know we didn't want. We'll often

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Speaker 1: get the outcome we didn't want, and we sometimes will

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Speaker 1: get the outcome we do want. But I just think

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Speaker 1: it's like, how do we navigate and move through that

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Speaker 1: mentally and emotionally? And you know what I was Stop me,

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Speaker 1: either of you if you want to interrupt, But I

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Speaker 1: was thinking about at what age do we understand this

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Speaker 1: concept of failure? Because you think babies don't experience failure,

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Speaker 1: babies don't fail at anything, because they don't they haven't

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Speaker 1: yet been taught, oh you can fail, So they don't fail.

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Speaker 1: They don't label anything of failure. They just have experiences.

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Speaker 1: They haven't yet learned that what they do and how

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Speaker 1: they do it can be evaluated as good or bad,

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Speaker 1: or worthy or unworthy, or a failure as success. And

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Speaker 1: if we unpack that through a psychological lens, we're talking

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Speaker 1: about like the developmental window before self conscious emotions and

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Speaker 1: socially constructed evaluated frameworks or evaluative frameworks kick in. So

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Speaker 1: like this is a social construct, Oh you can fail,

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Speaker 1: you can win, you can be a success. And of

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Speaker 1: course in the real world there is you know, a

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Speaker 1: course we can I guess technically fail at things. Of course,

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Speaker 1: so you wanted to run, you wanted to win the race,

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Speaker 1: and you came last, So you could we understand You

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Speaker 1: might say that that was a failure. I understand it also,

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Speaker 1: or you could just say I wanted this outcome, I

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Speaker 1: didn't get it. This was the outcome. I go, what

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Speaker 1: does that mean? What can I learn? What can I

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Speaker 1: do better? What did I learn from my competition? So

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Speaker 1: I think that while not pretending that we're in you know,

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Speaker 1: Disneyland and acknowledging the practical reality that in a real world,

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Speaker 1: experiential sense, failure and success are constructs that we live

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Speaker 1: around and live by. I think on a personal level

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Speaker 1: while being able to recognize I didn't get the outcome

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Speaker 1: that I want. We can reframe things you know there

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Speaker 1: are like for example, I could say, and I do

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Speaker 1: say this sometimes say it more for effect than anything else.

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Speaker 1: I could say the first six hundred episodes of the

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Speaker 1: upre U project were a failure because I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a big audience. For at least the first hundred or

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Speaker 1: two hundred or three hundred, I lost money, I didn't

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Speaker 1: have sponsors, there were times when it wasn't a great product,

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Speaker 1: and so on and so on. And it wasn't until

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Speaker 1: I was in the six hundreds that I actually started

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Speaker 1: to succeed. In inverted commas, if we call success something

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Speaker 1: being commercially viable, or you could go, I did six episodes.

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Speaker 1: It was so much fucking fun, six hundred episodes. I

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Speaker 1: should say so much fun. I learned so much. I

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Speaker 1: met cool people, I got to develop skill and awareness,

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Speaker 1: and I learned lots of new things. I opened new doors.

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Speaker 1: I had all of these experiences that I would not

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Speaker 1: have had if not for this vehicle called the U Project.

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Speaker 1: How lucky am I? Now that's two interpretations of exactly

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Speaker 1: the same thing. While intellectually understanding I could have done better,

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Speaker 1: I also could have done worse. I could have done

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Speaker 1: twenty episodes and gone fuck this, this will never work

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Speaker 1: and give given up? You know what I mean? So

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Speaker 1: I think that you know that like coming back to kids,

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Speaker 1: like understanding that there will come a point in time.

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Speaker 1: Usually the point in time is around eighteen to twenty

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Speaker 1: four months. It's that you both heard me talk about

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Speaker 1: theory of mind. Theory of mind is where we start

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Speaker 1: to have an awareness of other people's thinking, and kids

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Speaker 1: start to vaguely understand this social construct that they could

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Speaker 1: do things that are good or bad, like, oh, aren't

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Speaker 1: you a beautiful? Look at your dancing? Your dancings are amazing. Right, Well,

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Speaker 1: that's a judgment. It's a nice judgment, But no one's

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Speaker 1: going to look at the two year old dancing and

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Speaker 1: go fucking hell, what are you doing with your feet?

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Speaker 1: Get your shit together like you're not following the corry,

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Speaker 1: Try harder, go to your room, and when you come

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Speaker 1: back out, we expect you to be in time and

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Speaker 1: on point. Right, But there's the.

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Speaker 3: Flip side to that, though, isn't there in terms of

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Speaker 3: like kids development, and sometimes they just have really asshole

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Speaker 3: parents that do actually project a form of that and

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Speaker 3: then you know, hello, yuse of therapy.

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Speaker 1: Later, but enough about your childhood. So all right, you

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Speaker 1: can't dance. So that was an insight. Thanks for that. No,

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Speaker 1: you're exactly right. You're exactly right, And I think, but

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Speaker 1: then here's the other side to bring into that, Curl

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Speaker 1: and Tiff, how I mean, how much do we go

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Speaker 1: You're amazing, You're amazing, that's beautiful, You're the best answer

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Speaker 1: in the world. Just thing like, how much do we

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Speaker 1: do that when maybe it's not true? But also we

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Speaker 1: don't want to go fuck and hell, you sound like

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Speaker 1: a cat suresh. You know, we don't want to do that,

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Speaker 1: but we want them to learn that the world's not

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Speaker 1: always going to love or approve of, or endorse or

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Speaker 1: embrace everything about them, you know. So it's a it's

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Speaker 1: an interesting you know, I'm not a parent, of course,

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Speaker 1: so I don't I'm speaking purely out of my buttom

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Speaker 1: My theoretical, but tom but I would imagine that that

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Speaker 1: is a really a challenging kind of emotional social psychological

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Speaker 1: tightrope for parents to walk, like how much do I

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Speaker 1: you know? And at what age do I start to

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Speaker 1: give them more informed feedback while still being loving and

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Speaker 1: compassionate and kind. And at what point is another bit,

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Speaker 1: at what point there's telling? And we'll get back to

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Speaker 1: the failure conversation, But at what point does telling kids

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Speaker 1: that they're amazing? When does that start to become a negative?

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Speaker 1: Because when they step out of home, you know, the

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Speaker 1: amazing zone, and they other people treat them and talk

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Speaker 1: to them wildly differently, and they don't they're not prepared

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Speaker 1: for life beyond the amazing bubble. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Interesting, and I guess that would I was going to say,

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Speaker 3: in a sense set them up for failure in that

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Speaker 3: societal construct, right, because they're coming out of home and

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Speaker 3: they've been told that forever, you know, even though they

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Speaker 3: sound like a cat, that they're amazing and they can

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Speaker 3: sing like Celene Doon, And then they get to school

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Speaker 3: and they've got people in the schoolyard going shut up

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Speaker 3: like you know you Yeah, it's that would be a

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Speaker 3: very harsh reality for a young kid to face.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think for me, because I know I say

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Speaker 1: this too much. It's just true, and it's on point

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Speaker 1: for the conversation. But because I didn't win stuff when

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Speaker 1: I was a kid, Like, I wasn't great at stuff,

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Speaker 1: and no, I wasn't atrocious, but yeah, I wasn't the

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Speaker 1: kid winning things. I wasn't the kid winning academic things

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Speaker 1: or creative things, or sporting things, or athletic things, or

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Speaker 1: you know. I wasn't that kid. And so I dealt

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Speaker 1: with a lot of what you could call failure. I

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Speaker 1: mean literally, when I was in year seven, we had

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Speaker 1: a cross country run that was compulsory every week. I

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Speaker 1: was the fattest kid in school. My name was Jumbo.

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Speaker 1: Every week, out of one hundred and thirty kids, I

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Speaker 1: came one hundred and thirtieth week in, week out, one

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Speaker 1: hundred and thirtieth, So one hundred and twenty nine kids

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Speaker 1: in front of me every week, ninety two or three

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Speaker 1: kilo Jumbo who's thirteen years old, who's morbidly obese, who

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Speaker 1: can't fucking run. He does the five k run in

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Speaker 1: about an hour because he's not running, and I come last.

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Speaker 1: And so that's and there's no self pity in that.

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Speaker 1: I don't need anything for that. That's just my you know,

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Speaker 1: that was my experience, and it's like, then you can,

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Speaker 1: I guess for some people that's going to be almost

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Speaker 1: like an emotional anchor for the rest of their life,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know what determines whether or not that

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Speaker 1: is or that then becomes maybe a platform for you going, well, fuck,

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Speaker 1: what if I actually what if I actually tried, like

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Speaker 1: what if I change my thinking and my habits and

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Speaker 1: what if I, you know, tried to move away from

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Speaker 1: this current reality? Like what could I do? And so

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Speaker 1: for me, not being good at stuff eventually became almost

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Speaker 1: like my motivational superpower And what really was a massive

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Speaker 1: reframe from me was going from I'm shit at stuff

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Speaker 1: to oh, I've actually got quite a lot of potential.

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Speaker 1: I just haven't used my potential. When I started to run,

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Speaker 1: when I started to live weights, when I when I

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Speaker 1: started to play football at a decent level, when I

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Speaker 1: started to train, you know, I'd go out by myself

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Speaker 1: because I wasn't naturally skilled, but I would kick a

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Speaker 1: footy both sides of the body, I would handball both hands.

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Speaker 1: I would go to footy training and train. Then I

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Speaker 1: would do at least that much football training by myself.

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Speaker 1: That my my friends didn't do right because I didn't

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Speaker 1: have their natural ability. And so I think that over

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Speaker 1: time you can leverage off that failure or that disappointment

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Speaker 1: or those outcomes that you don't want or enjoy done

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Speaker 1: the right way, you know. And it's while I understand

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Speaker 1: the embarrassment, and I even understand the self pity, and

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Speaker 1: I get all of it. But at some stage, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you want to move beyond that, you probably got to,

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Speaker 1: you know, feel that pain anyway and make different decisions.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which is exactly that, you know? Is it fail

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Speaker 3: or just a hard way of learning the lesson and

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Speaker 3: appreciating it? Which it's quite interesting, Like when as soon

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Speaker 3: as I thought of, like posing that question to you,

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Speaker 3: I thought this was going to be an absolute flip

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Speaker 3: side to this in that failure doesn't really exist for

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Speaker 3: a lot of people because they will pivot from it,

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Speaker 3: they'll learn from it, they'll grow from it. When you

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Speaker 3: were talking before about the first six hundred versus.

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Speaker 1: Beyond that, what.

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Speaker 3: Are you more appreciative of the first six hundred or

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Speaker 3: where that's let you go?

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Speaker 1: Oh, such a good question. I hadn't thought about that,

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Speaker 1: But I mean, I probably don't want to the obvious

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Speaker 1: what people think are the first six hundred of course, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just a real opportunity to grow and learn and evolve,

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Speaker 1: and not really, I mean all of it, all of it.

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Speaker 1: That's not one more than the other. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: good when things are going good and you're making a

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Speaker 1: few dollars and you know, you get a bit of

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Speaker 1: like a decent brand and reputation and people with high

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Speaker 1: profiles want to be on your show, and that's certainly

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Speaker 1: fucking helped. So that's fun. But definitely for me, the

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Speaker 1: first six hundred episodes weren't painful. And it's like you

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Speaker 1: think of a you two could say the same, Tiff

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Speaker 1: could say the same. Like Tiff right now has gone

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Speaker 1: from baby steps presenter no fucking idea to a bit

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Speaker 1: of an idea, to being in front of audiences, to

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Speaker 1: developing insight and skill to starting to refine and hone

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Speaker 1: and she'll you know, and now she's i would say,

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Speaker 1: quite a good speaker at a professional level. But in

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Speaker 1: five years she's going to be better. In two years,

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Speaker 1: she's going to be better, you know. But it's not

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Speaker 1: like where she is like where she is now is

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Speaker 1: a huge development from where she was three years ago.

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Speaker 1: And when I started, I was shit, and you go, well,

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Speaker 1: I can't get good without being shit. And you know

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Speaker 1: when people go, oh, you were never shit, that that's

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Speaker 1: actually not true. I did presentations that were terrible. I

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Speaker 1: lost my way, I forgot what I was going to say,

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Speaker 1: I got fucking in the middle of a sentence, lost

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Speaker 1: you know, my train of thought, and told stories that

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Speaker 1: didn't land, and you know, pissed people off because I

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Speaker 1: used a term that I didn't mean to be, you know, insensitive,

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Speaker 1: but to them it wasn't insensitive. And then I realized

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Speaker 1: halfway through, and then I got nervous because now that

396
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Speaker 1: lady or that man over there are fucking grumpy at me,

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Speaker 1: and they've given me daggers, and I'm like, oh fuck,

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Speaker 1: this shit is hard, you know, and it just takes

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Speaker 1: That's where you got to go. You know. It's the

400
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,359
Speaker 1: old how to become a black belt. You get punched

401
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Speaker 1: in the face and kicked in the dick as a

402
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Speaker 1: white belt a million times, and eventually you get a

403
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Speaker 1: new belt. Then after a decade you're a black belt.

404
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Speaker 1: Then you can kick others in the dick and punch

405
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Speaker 1: them in the face or whatever, you know. But it's

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Speaker 1: just like, how do you get to that level of

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Speaker 1: mastery or excellence or competence. You go through all the

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Speaker 1: stages of being you know, terrible at something too good,

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Speaker 1: And that's the climbing of the mountain, you know, And

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Speaker 1: the black belt is the top of the mountain, or

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Speaker 1: the metaphoric black.

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Speaker 3: Belt or the mustering, the kick in the dick what ebbs?

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Speaker 1: What ebbs? Like I reckon? Sometimes life is about how

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Speaker 1: much shit can you put up with? Because some people

415
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Speaker 1: have a high shit threshold, right, I mean, you know

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Speaker 1: tif you know Johnny kel You've seen Johnny in the gym.

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Speaker 1: That little motherfucker has the highest shit threshold of anyone

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Speaker 1: I've ever known. You know, today he was in the gym.

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Speaker 1: I trained with him. I love him so much. I

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Speaker 1: squish his face and fucking sit on him and he goes,

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Speaker 1: you know, I can't feel you because he can't feel

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Speaker 1: in his legs right, and he he just gets in

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Speaker 1: so much pain sometimes. For those who don't know who

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Speaker 1: John is, he had a terrible accident. He is meant

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Speaker 1: to die. He selfishly didn't die. He lived on and

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Speaker 1: he's got a brain traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury.

427
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 1: He's got a you know, he can't go to the

428
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:13,679
Speaker 1: toilet either end. So he's you know, all that's taken

429
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 1: care of and he's just his life is hard. But

430
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: you can ask him any time how he is. He

431
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 1: will not complain. Like and for me, that context, you know,

432
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 1: that that perspective, that awareness being around that person, like

433
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,199
Speaker 1: I've never had one day in my life, which is

434
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: which has been as hard as every day of his life.

435
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 1: Every day he's in pain all day. He has no reprieve,

436
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: you know, And so it's really just the number. I

437
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: say what's the number, and he goes seven or eight

438
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: or nine, you know, sometimes he says ten, but he

439
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 1: never says anything below two or three or four. And

440
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: he's he's not a winger, you know. So yeah, I

441
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 1: think so much of all of this stuff. What is hard,

442
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: what is easy? What is failure? What is success? What

443
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 1: is a problem? What is a lesson? This is all

444
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,760
Speaker 1: just stories that we tell ourselves.

445
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's it's almost very redundant to talk about

446
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: it in the sense that we have been knowing that.

447
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 3: Like I've seen John at the gym with you, and

448
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 3: if he's saying that it's a nine or ten, but

449
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 3: he's still there showing up for training. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

450
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 1: Do you know what I love about him? It's like

451
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 1: him and the Crab are at the opposite ends of

452
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 1: the emotional development scale. The crab is essentially a fucking

453
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 1: kettle belt, right with long hair, with good hair, right, yeah,

454
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,199
Speaker 1: with fucking he man hair. If you don't know what

455
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: we're talking about. Everyone, for some unknown reason, the Crab

456
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: just stopped cutting his hair, I think to pisce off

457
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 1: his wife and which he's achieved, and now he looks

458
00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 1: like some fucking old rock, a misfit with the biggest

459
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 1: in the world. But anyway, enough about the Crab. But Johnny,

460
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 1: Johnny will send me a message and say what time

461
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 1: are you at the gym today? Because he hasn't seen

462
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: us for a day or two. You'll send it to

463
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: me and the Crab and he'll go, I miss you both,

464
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: and he'll put a heart right, I miss you both,

465
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I go, well, I love you, john

466
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 1: I go. The Crab won't tell you that, because he's

467
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: a fucking emotional misfit. I go, But he does love you,

468
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: so I'll say it on behalf of both of us,

469
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: and he just writes, thanks, right, Yeah, I love that.

470
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: I love that relationship with him. And this sounds cheesy

471
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: and podcasting and nap, but one hundred percent I get

472
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: more benefit from John than he gets from me. And

473
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: he's taught without even trying to teach me anything. He's

474
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: taught me so much about being you know, for me,

475
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: about being a man, and about being responsible, about being

476
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 1: a solution focused, about not complaining, about being resilient, you know,

477
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: and about having a purpose. You know. It's like, yeah,

478
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 1: it's been great anyway, I feel like we've deviated, but

479
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: nonetheless it's perspective though.

480
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 3: Like I learned the biggest lesson around how I wanted

481
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 3: to treat people when my dad was dying, And yeah,

482
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 3: it was it was huge. It was things like, just

483
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 3: be really open with my emotions with my closest people

484
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 3: because you just don't know how much time you have.

485
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 3: Always I'm not a hugger, but always hug my friends. Yeah,

486
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 3: and that lesson came from seeing somebody going through something

487
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 3: extremely hard.

488
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,719
Speaker 1: You know, I'm just looking right now, which is terrible

489
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: to do on a podcast, but you sent me a

490
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: message today and I Nellie fell over and you said

491
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,959
Speaker 1: because you when you first met me, you were like

492
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: a little fucking wallflower and you were like, hello, It's

493
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 1: like that was you, that was you being outrageous.

494
00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 3: It wasn't even that. It was a glance across the

495
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 3: gym and then I look away.

496
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I was like, oh fuck, Craiger harp it,

497
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 1: don't look at me, look at me, but don't look

498
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: at me. Acknowledge me, but don't say lo because I don't,

499
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: you know, like I could see the fucking terror because

500
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: I am terrifying. And then you wrote this morning, good

501
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 1: morning sunshine exclamation mark. I'm like, who the fuck is

502
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: hijacked to her phone? There we go. So couldn't be

503
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: couldn't be prouder. But yeah, so I was going to

504
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: tell you just quickly, like so I've told this once

505
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 1: or twice on maybe three times tiv Weigo it's actually

506
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 1: seven but anyway, most of our listeners wouldn't have heard it.

507
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: But so one of my first ever gigs was a

508
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: teaching the vic Fit course to Certificate three, so not

509
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: even personal trainer, just fitness instructor students, and I had

510
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: to This was the first time i'd done a fitness

511
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: industry lecture. It was students, so they didn't know a lot.

512
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: I knew more than them, but I was still wasn't

513
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: a great teacher, you know. I certainly wasn't an academic

514
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 1: at that stage. I actually didn't have a degree, but

515
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 1: I'd owned gyms and I'd train lots of people and

516
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: work with clubs and teams, and it was pre my

517
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: exercise science degree. But anyway, I was very experienced at

518
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 1: writing programs and all that shit. Anyway, so I went

519
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: in and I did this. I had to do this

520
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: talk on basically designing programs, writing programs, bah blah blah

521
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: blah bah, you know. And it was two hours, and

522
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: I planned for the talk for two weeks. I planned

523
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 1: every day. I spent hours every day, maybe an hour

524
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: or two every day. So I would say I did

525
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:03,239
Speaker 1: it at least twenty twenty five hours of preparation for

526
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: this two hour lecture. And this is how long it ago.

527
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: It was. There was I didn't have a computer. I

528
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: had those little office cards, you know, those little white

529
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: cards that they'd have in a plastic box, and you'd

530
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: fiddle through the fucking cards and you'd pull out, oh,

531
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: missus Smith yeah, we've got your account here. I had those, right,

532
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: So I wrote all of these notes, wrote them, re

533
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: wrote them, highlighted them, and then I went in to this. Firstly,

534
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: I was doing it at a gym in Armidale called Recreation,

535
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: and I stupidly wore jeans, boots and a light blue shirt.

536
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 1: Now then have you heard this tip? Maybe not so anyway. Anyway,

537
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: so I'm doing this presentation and I'm twenty six, twenty five.

538
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm definitely not a professional speaker. I think I

539
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: got paid fifty dollars for the two hours or something.

540
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:06,959
Speaker 1: Thought I was fucking Hollywood. And anyway, I was sitting

541
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 1: in my Honda Integra in High Street, Armadale, chick Pulla,

542
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: of course, and I'm going I'm there an hour early.

543
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 1: So I just sit in the car and I'm going

544
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: over my notes and I'm reading my cards. I'm reading

545
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: my cards. I'm fucking sick. I'm so scared. Right anyway,

546
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: I finally go in at about quarter two. I'm speaking

547
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 1: on the hour. I go in fifteen minutes early. I

548
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: go in to have a WII, of course I do,

549
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: and then I go into the Chaine rooms. Then I

550
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 1: turn around and I look at myself and my light

551
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: blue shirt. Half of it's dark blue because I've just

552
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: sweated like a fucking I was going to say a

553
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: terrible thing. I'll tell you too. Off air, I'd sweat

554
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 1: it a lot, right, I'd sweat it a lot, And

555
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: so I had these big I'm showing the girls here,

556
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: but I had these big sweatstains going down to pretty

557
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: much my waist, and I'm like, I can't so light blue,

558
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: dark blue, no other shirt. So I'm in the change rooms. Now.

559
00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: I've got like nine minutes. I can't even think about

560
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: the presentation of my fucking cards because I look like

561
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 1: I've just run a half marathon in a suit, right,

562
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 1: So I'm basically a fucking five foot ten perspiration and

563
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 1: so pilot water. So I go fuck it. So I'm

564
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 1: in the I'm in the change rooms. I take off

565
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: my shirt and then I'm standing. I turn up the

566
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: air dryer, so I've got the air dryer upside down,

567
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: blowing it must have been early days of air dryers,

568
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,240
Speaker 1: but blowing hot air up and I'm like a fucking

569
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: you know, like my mum, I'm drying the shirt. So

570
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm semi nude in a public place, drying my sweat

571
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: stained shirt so so sexy, such a beautiful like beginning,

572
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: and then I finally get it dry. I don't know

573
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: if you know this, but when you're dry sweat stained

574
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,160
Speaker 1: blue shirts, there's like all this white stuff which is

575
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 1: fucking so good. Like look like now I had a

576
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:22,879
Speaker 1: tied dye T shirt. And then of course I get

577
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:29,279
Speaker 1: in there and I start sweating again. So and then

578
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: I was so bad. I'm not even being I'm not

579
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: even putting Mayo on this. I was so bad. I

580
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: was so bad. And I remember looking up and just

581
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: if you could read faces, they're like, oh god, how

582
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: much longer? Right? So anyway, I think I pulled the

583
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:53,720
Speaker 1: pin a bit early and I just now and thanks everyone,

584
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 1: you know, I see ya. And this one girl kind

585
00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,480
Speaker 1: of waded around and I went, oh, maybe she's got question.

586
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: Maybe she didn't think I was that shit. And she

587
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: comes up to me kind of, you know, reasonably, like

588
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, friendly, approachable, and she goes hi. I

589
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 1: go hi, and she goes, can I just ask are

590
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 1: you here next week? And I go yep, And she

591
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 1: just looked like somebody just kicked her in the guards, right,

592
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 1: She just she just went ah and walked off. She

593
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 1: went ah and walked out the door with an extreme

594
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: disappointment on her face. I'm like, yeah, I'm a gun

595
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 1: at this, right, I'm a gun. I'm so good at this,

596
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 1: and I did. That's not the only one. I had

597
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 1: multiples of those. Like, so when people go, oh, you're

598
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 1: a natural, you just fucking nah nah. I think that's

599
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: just an excuse for people to rationalize why they don't

600
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 1: keep going, Like, of course it's fucking hard. I've been humiliated, embarrassed,

601
00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 1: I've been criticized. I still get people who send me

602
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,760
Speaker 1: shit and tell me they hate me. It's like, yeah,

603
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 1: welcome to the fucking club. Of course it's hard. Of

604
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: course it's hard. Like as if you're going to be

605
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:14,240
Speaker 1: a raving success, as if you're not going to fail,

606
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,839
Speaker 1: as if you're not going to fuck up, as if

607
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 1: you're not going to be humiliated, as if you're not

608
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: going to be bad at things, like just if you

609
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,959
Speaker 1: know that's just where it happens, and you go all right,

610
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 1: like if you were got that result, you know, for

611
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: five years in a row, you might want to think

612
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: your strategy. But yeah, so welcome to sweat City. That

613
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 1: was it.

614
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 2: Do you think that there's an element of it being

615
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 2: easier when you're paving your own way or you're naive

616
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 2: to a process.

617
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: I think it can be. And I think, look, I

618
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,479
Speaker 1: think some people start off great. Like I've known people

619
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 1: who have done their first one or two or three

620
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 1: gigs and they've almost hit the ground running. They're like,

621
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: fucking hell, and look, I'm like, fuck, I did one

622
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: hundred presentations before I was that good. And then they

623
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: fuck up. Then something happens, like I tell you, when people,

624
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 1: some people like they lose their shit is when someone

625
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: in the audience goes, no, I don't think so, I

626
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: don't think so, and they fucking fall apart. Like if

627
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 1: somebody actually disagrees with a thought or a message all

628
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: they say, and I've had this, I've had a bloke

629
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: go yeah, well that's not true. Now that is very

630
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: That's like you being a comedian and someone going you're

631
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: not funny, you know, and you just gotta you can't

632
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 1: go hey, fuck off, you can't. You just gotta you know,

633
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: Like that happened to me early days, and I went, well,

634
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 1: I said, how about this, how about you and I

635
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,440
Speaker 1: get together at the end and we'll pack that. But

636
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: you and me, you and me having a debate in

637
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 1: front of a hundred people is not going to happen.

638
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: So thanks for the feedback. But you know, and of

639
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 1: course it rocked me. Of course it was like, but

640
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 1: you can't go ah ah fuck I give up and

641
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: walk out, or you can. But you know what I mean,

642
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,959
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, it's hard. Some people won't like you,

643
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: you know, shardenfreuder. Some people want you to fail. Some

644
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 1: people revel in your discomfort and your pain and you're

645
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: fucking ineptitude that makes them happy. Don't ask me why.

646
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: That's another episode. But if you think, if you think

647
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 1: the majority of people will be happy for you to succeed,

648
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:48,359
Speaker 1: you don't understand people. And that's a fucking sad thing

649
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: to say. To not say everyone wants you to fail,

650
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: of course, but you know, like I've done a few

651
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 1: good things, and yeah, the amount of people that I

652
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: know were genuinely re happy, it ain't that many. It

653
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 1: ain't that many bothers them.

654
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's far more people that are waiting for you

655
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,760
Speaker 3: to fall over than there is people that are willing

656
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 3: to say, hey, what you're doing is really good.

657
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 1: Yes, it's yes, yeah, sorry, Kel, I think that's a

658
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,240
Speaker 1: challenge for all of us. If I'm being honest, It's like, yeah,

659
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 1: it's it is sometimes hard when you know there's someone

660
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: that you and you and them are about the same

661
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: level and now they're fifteen levels up. You're like, like

662
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: the human part of you is like or part of

663
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: you is like wuck. But I want to celebrate that

664
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 1: for them, genuinely, And you know, that's something that I

665
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,919
Speaker 1: have had to work on. Like it's not like, oh, yeah,

666
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 1: Craigs is fucking outstanding human with all these amazing values

667
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 1: and morals and and that's not at all true. I'm

668
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 1: just as fucked up as everyone. And there's been jealousy,

669
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 1: and there's been resentment, and there's been in aptitude, and

670
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: there's been fuck up And like, one of the funny

671
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 1: things that happens in personal development is that I'll shut

672
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 1: up after this and you can ask me another question, Kel.

673
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 1: But we talk about, you know, the shortcomings of us

674
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 1: as a conscious beings, and we're always talking about someone else.

675
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 1: Don't you hate it when people I'm like, you're a people, motherfucker,

676
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: Like it's like, oh he is. Everyone talks about how

677
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,880
Speaker 1: much hard work she is, or how much hard work

678
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: he is, or how my boss is this, or my

679
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: colleagues are that, or nobody goes. Just thought i'd let

680
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: you know I'm a count, just a heads up. You know,

681
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 1: I'm difficult, I'm fucking hard work. Nobody does that, but

682
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: it's true for all of us at a time, right.

683
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 3: Absolutely, it is. What did I read this morning? It

684
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 3: was it was like it was a meme and it says,

685
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 3: send this to your partner, and the swipe through was

686
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 3: I know that I'm really difficult, but you love me anyway.

687
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 3: And it got me thinking about my partner and how

688
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 3: she gives me so much space to do all of

689
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 3: this work on myself and at every turn all I

690
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 3: get is encouragement. And I know that I'm hard work,

691
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,600
Speaker 3: like I'm such a little shit sometimes, but yeah, I

692
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 3: own that. I know that, and I'm grateful that I

693
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 3: have somebody who is in my corner one even though

694
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 3: i'm a little shit. I'm very very grateful for that.

695
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: So that's that is. If you if you're genuine and

696
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm sure you do, if you genuinely have a person

697
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 1: that is you know, there fore you like that. That's

698
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: a gift. So I'm going to turn it round. So

699
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you some think music. Both of you.

700
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: I want you to tell me a failure. We'll start

701
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: with TIFFs, so tif you get ready. But so something

702
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:56,520
Speaker 1: that that was for you, or could have been from

703
00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 1: the outside looking in perceived as a failure, that that

704
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: turned out to be a lesson or a growth opportunity,

705
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: or something that in the moment you were like, fuck,

706
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 1: this is a disaster. This is not what I wanted.

707
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 1: But looking back, so yeah, I think I think that

708
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: before either you jump in, I'll let you think a

709
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,479
Speaker 1: little bit. But I just wanted to so you both

710
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: have your thinking time. I'm just going to talk to

711
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: the audience for a moment. So I wrote something down

712
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: before that I want to read, and that is failure

713
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 1: is not an objective reality. Hang on, sorry, I'm trying it. Yeah,

714
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: failure is not an objective reality. It's a human made category.

715
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 1: An outcomes happened. An outcome happens, and we decide, based

716
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: on our expectations, values, and cultural narratives, whether to call

717
00:43:51,120 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 1: it a failure or something else. Psychologically, the label activates emotion, shame, disappointment, frustration, sophically,

718
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 1: it's a judgment, not a truth. In one frame, it's

719
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 1: evidence you weren't good enough. In another, it's data that

720
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: refines your approach. In reality, it's simply an event stripped

721
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 1: of any meaning, doesn't have a meaning, or it doesn't

722
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: have a meaning for you until you give it one

723
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: or some The same outcome can be a catastrophe or

724
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: a catalyst, depending on the story you tell yourself. So

725
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,960
Speaker 1: it's not a fact. It's a label. It's a destination.

726
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 1: It's not a destination. It's a detour. It's not a

727
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:35,080
Speaker 1: death sentence. It's feedback. What you call failure is just

728
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: an outcome you didn't want, wrapped in a meaning that

729
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 1: you choose to give it. Someone else will call the

730
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:45,240
Speaker 1: same outcome a lesson, a launchpad, or a plot twist.

731
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: So maybe it's not failure at all. Maybe it's progress

732
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: wearing an ugly outfit. So I kind of for me,

733
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even really, I don't really know.

734
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: I don't see the value you even in business calling

735
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: things that was a failure, I think recognizing that we

736
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: didn't get the outcome we wanted, acknowledging it, saying well,

737
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: we wanted a ten. We got a seven. Not sure why,

738
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: but let's lean into that. So rather than getting into

739
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 1: the emotion of we failed, let's get into the curiosity

740
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:24,760
Speaker 1: of how come we got a seven? Because whatever label

741
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 1: you come up with, that's going to be your experience.

742
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: If you go, we failed, then that means I am

743
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 1: a failure. We are failures. And now we're in a

744
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 1: failure mindset because we just described the thing that we created.

745
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 1: Whereas when I go, Wow, that wasn't the outcome we

746
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: wanted or expected. I wonder what we could do different.

747
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 1: I wonder what I could learn. I wonder how that

748
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: group over there got a great outcome and we didn't.

749
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 1: We can learn from our own experience and also what

750
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: they did. So TIF, let's go, what do you got?

751
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,280
Speaker 2: One was the businesses and you know a lot about

752
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 2: that period of time with me, But I've never called

753
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 2: it a failure. It was a massive, massive lesson in

754
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 2: a lot of ways.

755
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: But can you just explain to the audience as much

756
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 1: or as little as you want, because some of them going,

757
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 1: what did you?

758
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 2: Twenty eighteen, I went into partnership with three other people

759
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 2: for Boutique Fitness Studios, So we opened up two of

760
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 2: them they got shut down in COVID. Over the period

761
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:38,359
Speaker 2: of time of being in COVID and away from it,

762
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,560
Speaker 2: I realized that I was in a pretty toxic situation

763
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 2: personally and professionally in that situation. So I decided I

764
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 2: didn't want to be in that. And when I look

765
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 2: at how I executed the being in that and then

766
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 2: getting away from that, like, I lost a lot and

767
00:46:58,200 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 2: it was hard. It was one of the hardest times

768
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:04,000
Speaker 2: life that had a big knock on effect. But even

769
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 2: in the middle of it, I had this gratitude for

770
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 2: the lessons I went into that, going if this end badly,

771
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 2: will I learn enough or grow enough to warrant maybe

772
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: losing everything, Because if I lose, it'll be every you know,

773
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 2: get I don't have a fallback plan. And so when

774
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,840
Speaker 2: that was my choice, I knew I hadn't learned a

775
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,720
Speaker 2: thing I expected to learn about business, But I learned

776
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 2: so much more about my own values and values that

777
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 2: I was They were hard to learn.

778
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 1: But.

779
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 2: They changed my life, like to learn that my values

780
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 2: were more important to me than money or business or

781
00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 2: all of the material things was And then I had

782
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: to do hard conversations and I had to deal with

783
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 2: hard situations and you helped me a lot. But that

784
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 2: was that was massive.

785
00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think you. I mean, and as an

786
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:06,680
Speaker 1: observer of you through that time and now, albeit shit

787
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 1: and painful and unpleasant and unwanted, like, I think you

788
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: developed a lot in that. And apart from being able

789
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: to you know, dealing with hard stuff and building resilience

790
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: and learning how to have difficult conversations with difficult people

791
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: and all of that, what it did give you was

792
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:26,760
Speaker 1: it gave you absolute clarity about what you don't want. Yes,

793
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? It's like, oh fuck, no, no, no,

794
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean I'll relate to all business partnerships and like,

795
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 1: but it's like, yeah, no, I'm pretty clear. It's like

796
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: I did, you know, thirty five years of gyms and

797
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:45,160
Speaker 1: I loved it and then and then but now like

798
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: I don't want It's not that that's bad, it's not

799
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 1: what I want. I'm very clear. I want a very

800
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 1: simple business model. I do not want thirty, forty, fifty,

801
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 1: sixty or even ten staff. And you go, yeah, And

802
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 1: I think for you now now you've got much more

803
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,879
Speaker 1: clarity around what you want to do, who you want

804
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 1: to be how you want to be and your business

805
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: model than you know, even then a couple of years ago,

806
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 1: you seem much clearer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, perfect, cal

807
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: same thing.

808
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:21,359
Speaker 3: Really a moment of clarity and if we spoke about

809
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 3: this on your podcast. So for a very long time

810
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 3: I thought that my job or career was going to

811
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 3: be the most defining thing about who I am, and

812
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 3: so I was always striving for more and for bigger

813
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 3: and better and the labels, but so scared of breaking

814
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,760
Speaker 3: out of my comfort zone and actually getting a job

815
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 3: in the field that I had studied, which so I

816
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 3: studied screenwriting and then communication design as well. So I

817
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 3: finally built up the courage to leave a very secure.

818
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 1: Safe job.

819
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 3: And on the day that I had my farewell, the

820
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 3: other place called and said it's not going to work.

821
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 3: So it was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and I remember it.

822
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 3: I did not know that, yeah, and like I'd signed everything.

823
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 3: It was all going through And a friend later said

824
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 3: to me, I wish I had have known you because

825
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 3: we would have seen them. But it was it was huge.

826
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 3: It was like I was punched in the guards, like

827
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 3: it was horrible, and I thought, out of all of

828
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 3: the people that this could happen to like me, you know,

829
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: finally had this moment of going, yep, I'm gonna I'm

830
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 3: going to step in there. I'm going to prove that

831
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 3: to my owly, to myself. I'm going to prove to

832
00:50:42,560 --> 00:50:46,960
Speaker 3: myself that I can do this. And I thought, I can't.

833
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 3: I'm not good enough. I'm never going to be good enough.

834
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 3: I've I've tried to do it, it hasn't worked. And

835
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 3: then as I've spoken about my shrink many times, she's like, nope,

836
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,439
Speaker 3: we keep going. And also because I've got a fair

837
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,359
Speaker 3: amount of stubbornness, I thought I can't go back. I

838
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 3: need to keep going forward. So I applied for I

839
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 3: think ten jobs, and the first two I applied for

840
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 3: they both offered me positions. Took the first one, yeah,

841
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:20,439
Speaker 3: and like I mean, I found out a few weeks later,

842
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,479
Speaker 3: so I'd still gone through this kind of whole six

843
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,359
Speaker 3: week period of so shit, I'm never going to get

844
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 3: another job. I'm going to be you know, doing something

845
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 3: like picking up rubbish on the beach. I don't know,

846
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 3: my mind just went to really really dark places, but

847
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 3: a lot of it was just I'm not good enough.

848
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 3: I'm really not good enough. I tried. I failed. I'm

849
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 3: not good enough. Started in the job and it was fine,

850
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 3: it was good, the people were people were fine. And

851
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 3: then yeah, my dad got sick, and I thought, what

852
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 3: are my values? Do I want to be working for

853
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 3: someone else?

854
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 2: Who?

855
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,360
Speaker 3: You know, the owner of this business would up in

856
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 3: his Mercedes and sign of clothes and nice enough guy.

857
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 3: But I just didn't want to be working for that.

858
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 3: And so it was a huge reframe. Looking back on

859
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 3: it now, easily the biggest lesson I've ever learned was that,

860
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 3: you know, you can put yourself out there and you

861
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,359
Speaker 3: can fall flat on your face and then stand back

862
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 3: up and realize what you want and start moving towards it.

863
00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 3: And that was it for me.

864
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 1: Well, that's resilience. I mean, that's resilience. That's you know,

865
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: if you I mean, let's assume obviously there needs to

866
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 1: be a modicum of talent and aptitude and ability to

867
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,759
Speaker 1: do the thing. It's like, it doesn't matter how many

868
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 1: how many times I applied to NASA, I'm probably not

869
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 1: going to get in. I mean, you know, one, I'm

870
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:54,919
Speaker 1: not an astronaut, not a physicist. You know, I'm old

871
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 1: as fuck. I can't see shit other than that I'm

872
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 1: a fucking oh back's rooted that I'm a natural, right,

873
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:05,320
Speaker 1: So yeah, but I mean if we're talking about things

874
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: that kind of you know, we could do given the opportunity,

875
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 1: which I think is a lot of things for most people. Yeah,

876
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 1: I yeah, that ability to be able to get rejected

877
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,840
Speaker 1: or you know, feel like you rejected and just go, oh,

878
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 1: keep going anyway, Like, like, even do you know what

879
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,680
Speaker 1: is when those times when if you threw it in

880
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 1: or you gave up, people would understand that go fuck,

881
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 1: I don't blame you, that's shit, right, there are the

882
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: times when you definitely want to step up, not give up,

883
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:44,399
Speaker 1: because it's in those moments I reckon where people might

884
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 1: think fuck and now how will she respond or he

885
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: respond or? And you're like, yeah, I look, I feel crap.

886
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 1: I genuinely feel sad, I feel disconnected, feel I feel frustrated.

887
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 1: I feel all these things. But you know, me going

888
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 1: home and just sitting on all these feelings still ain't

889
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 1: going to get me anywhere. So the question is do

890
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: I have the capacity to feel shit but nonetheless keep going?

891
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 1: Like that's in the middle of all of that. It's

892
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 1: like Tiff and I have spoken many times about the

893
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 1: real challenge with self help is not when you're all

894
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:24,240
Speaker 1: pumped and up and about, you know, you motivated, your inspired,

895
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 1: Oh look at me self help one oh one, personal growth,

896
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:32,760
Speaker 1: positive psychology, fucking winning, ticking the boxes, hustling, grinding. Yeah,

897
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 1: what about when you feel fucking horrible? What are you

898
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 1: doing then, Like when you can still do the work

899
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 1: when everyone around you would give up and you cannot

900
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 1: give up. I think that is what is going to

901
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: separate sometimes the people who fulfill their potential or get

902
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: close to it and those who wake up at fifty

903
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,399
Speaker 1: and go fucking hell, this wasn't my plan right now.

904
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that, you know, the odd thrown in

905
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: the towel or giving up momentarily is not you know,

906
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 1: not acceptable, of course it is. There's been plenty of

907
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: times where I've gone fuck this, but the next day

908
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 1: I picked it back up. You know. So I think

909
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: going into your cave for three years and going fucking

910
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,319
Speaker 1: you know, things aren't going to work. Life's not fair

911
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: and fucking everyone's against me. I understand how that feels real,

912
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: But the truth is, it's like I had this lady

913
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 1: come into the gym once, should I have said that now. Anyway,

914
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:34,880
Speaker 1: was a lady. She did come into the gym and

915
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,239
Speaker 1: it all ended well. She came in. She was really big.

916
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 1: She wanted to be not big, tiff. What are you

917
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: looking at me like that?

918
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 3: For?

919
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:42,880
Speaker 1: Do you think I'm going to get I'm going to

920
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 1: put my foot in my fucking mouth for the ten

921
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 1: millionth time?

922
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:46,919
Speaker 2: Yeah?

923
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 1: Probably. But anyway, she came into the gym and she

924
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 1: was like, I, you know, I'm really uncomfortable here because

925
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 1: I know everyone's looking at me and I know everything.

926
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 1: I go, hey, there not. I go, you know what, like,

927
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 1: they don't give a fuck about you? I go, you

928
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: want the actual, real truth. I don't care. You know what,

929
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 1: they care about themselves. I don't care. They're not looking

930
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 1: at you. You're all this that's all the fucking story

931
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 1: in your head, you know, And all I had to do.

932
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 1: I said that. I said, one, that's a story in

933
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:22,680
Speaker 1: your head. I understand the story, but it's not real.

934
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 1: Like I do this all the time. And by the way,

935
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:29,439
Speaker 1: we've had people who needed to do way more work

936
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,320
Speaker 1: than you currently need to do. And she's like, really,

937
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 1: I go, yes, definitely, I go, of course, you've got

938
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,320
Speaker 1: work to do. And you want to lose a few pounds,

939
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:40,879
Speaker 1: you want to get fit, you want to change how

940
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 1: you look, feel function. I get it, But there's we've

941
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 1: had many people who've got more of a challenge ahead

942
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 1: of them, ahead of them than you currently do. Right.

943
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:53,800
Speaker 1: And then they go from everyone's looking at me, everyone's

944
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,359
Speaker 1: judging me, everyone's I shouldn't be here, Da da da,

945
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 1: that's all and inner dialogue, it's not actually what's going

946
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 1: going on. What's actually going on as everyone in the

947
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:06,720
Speaker 1: gym is doing their own thing, thinking about themselves, thinking

948
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 1: about dinner, thinking about that bloke across the other side

949
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:12,799
Speaker 1: of the gym, or chick across you know, it's like

950
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: what you think is happening in your head in the gym,

951
00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 1: it's not true. And the anxiety is coming from you,

952
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: not the gym, you know, So it's like ah, And

953
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 1: then that understanding, and again this all leads into like U, Kelly,

954
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 1: being able to manage your mind and utif in the

955
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:36,480
Speaker 1: middle of outcomes that you didn't want, like being able

956
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 1: to manage yourselves to be able to go well fuck it,

957
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 1: which you both kind of did. What can I learn?

958
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 1: How can I do better? How can I keep going

959
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 1: you know, that's the that's the that's the magic that's

960
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:56,520
Speaker 1: the magic pill. So ah, anything you too, No, We're good,

961
00:57:57,120 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: cal always good. We appreciate you you. Oh gee, did

962
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 1: we do an hour? What happened to? Just a quick one?

963
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 3: You said it was a hard finish tonight?

964
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 1: Great, Harper bangs on, doesn't he? How much better would

965
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 1: my show be without me? Let's be honest, probably a

966
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:20,800
Speaker 1: bit cookie, Thank you, thanks, Harps, look after that.

967
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 4: Body of yours, and maybe just tone back a little

968
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 4: bit on the testosterone, because you know the fact that

969
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 4: you keep asking me for another raisor you know, he Harps,

970
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 4: do you reckon my next bit?

971
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 1: Hairy is still? You know there's that? And kel look

972
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 1: at you just coming out of your shell. You keep

973
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 1: emerging from that shell. We love it.

974
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 3: Good. Well, thanks for letting me.

975
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 1: All right, we'll say goodbye affair, but thank you ladies,