Speaker 1: Today we're recording on Gadigul Country and.
Speaker 2: We'd like to pay our respects to the traditional custodians
Speaker 2: of the Gati. Girl people, I know you're going to
Speaker 2: dig this. It's like I've been given like an extra
Speaker 2: sprinkle of something.
Speaker 3: You've got layers, Yeah, I've got layers.
Speaker 1: I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers.
Speaker 2: You're making a lot of sense to that girl. No,
Speaker 2: I'm done.
Speaker 1: Let's I've been too honest to go. Okay, So how's
Speaker 1: your seventy five challenge going?
Speaker 2: I failed?
Speaker 1: No, I do no no.
Speaker 3: I refuse to take their way back.
Speaker 2: What I will take it back because I am the
Speaker 2: king of the reframe. Kiki Palmer put out a video
Speaker 2: the other day and I feel so in.
Speaker 1: A Linema Brook. I don't know who Palma.
Speaker 2: This is one of those moments where you've just asked
Speaker 2: if Mariah Carey is black, and I'm really fuck keep
Speaker 2: Kikei Palmer is amazing, like she is an actor, singer,
Speaker 2: a host. You well know k Kei Palmer. Trust me.
Speaker 2: So she's the queen of reframe. I'm the king of reframe.
Speaker 2: I'm taking it from her.
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my God, a screenshot of her all the time.
Speaker 2: She's the best, isn't she just great? Like her energy,
Speaker 2: her vibe, it's just all there. So I love her.
Speaker 2: And so when I realized I had failed seventy five hard,
Speaker 2: I was disappointed. Honestly. I got to like fifty fifty
Speaker 2: days in, and the things that I failed at weren't
Speaker 2: the key priorities of mine in the challenge. So it
Speaker 2: wasn't that I drank alcohol, wasn't that I ate bad food.
Speaker 2: It wasn't that I didn't work out. It wasn't even
Speaker 2: that I didn't drink the water. It was that I
Speaker 2: didn't journal and read the book every day, So that
Speaker 2: they were the elements that I failed in. Okay, And
Speaker 2: once I had sort of realized, you know, I didn't
Speaker 2: journal that day, I didn't journal the next day, I
Speaker 2: was finding it hard to actually journal. And I'll tell
Speaker 2: you why, because it was like, it seems like such
Speaker 2: a simple task, but for me to go with a
Speaker 2: pen and paper every day and to sit there and
Speaker 2: try and reflect and think about how I was feeling,
Speaker 2: I was finding that I was quite i would say.
Speaker 1: Like resentful of it, or like.
Speaker 2: It seems like a task. It yeah, it seems like
Speaker 2: it didn't come second nature to me. So I failed.
Speaker 1: It isn't at the point of the challenge is that.
Speaker 2: That's right, Well, you should be able to build up
Speaker 2: a habit and get through that. But look, I've still
Speaker 2: I'm still implementing the seventy five Hard challenge. I'm still
Speaker 2: drinking my water working out. I have an injury at
Speaker 2: the moment. My left foot is like a bit fucked up,
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna, you know, heal that before I go.
Speaker 2: So the answer is that it is that I failed,
Speaker 2: but overall I succeeded.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: So that's the little update with seventy five Hard. I
Speaker 2: don't feel bad about it, honestly. And last night I
Speaker 2: went to Messina and I ate like ice cream and
Speaker 2: that brings me so much joy. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you get the same joy from.
Speaker 1: Ice cream me personal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like does ice cream fulfill your soul, your whole
Speaker 2: your world? For me, it really is like it goes
Speaker 2: Beyonce and then ice cream.
Speaker 3: There's no in between.
Speaker 2: There's no in between, Like Beyonce and ice cream. There
Speaker 2: are two things in my world that I'm like cream
Speaker 2: Dela Creme.
Speaker 1: We were I get such fulfillment out of cooking random,
Speaker 1: but like, I love cooking at home and I think,
Speaker 1: like when I cook a meal, when we sit down
Speaker 1: and have like dinner, I think that's probably the same
Speaker 1: as ice cream. I know it sounds pretty lame.
Speaker 2: No, it's the same feeling, probably, But yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm not like a huge I'm as sweet tooth, but
Speaker 1: like in small dosages. Okay, yeah, I can't like eat
Speaker 1: a whole tub of ice cream.
Speaker 2: See I could easily.
Speaker 3: Do you know what my thing is? Yo chi?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think probably similar.
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, well, tell me your girlfriend has
Speaker 2: moved to Melbourne for a month because she's doing her prack.
Speaker 2: You're currently in Sydney doing you know, your work. How
Speaker 2: has it been? Like this is a whirl wind. You're
Speaker 2: right on the edge of three months, which is like
Speaker 2: three years in lesbian relationship.
Speaker 1: I know, three months is three years, and let's be
Speaker 1: in a relationship, Like, let's be honest. I honestly feel
Speaker 1: like I have a wife. Yeah, I feel like I
Speaker 1: am living in my wife era and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: know that seems so silly. It's like three months like
Speaker 1: chill out, But like I feel like we've Me is
Speaker 1: in her third week of her school prack and we've
Speaker 1: got into like routine and structure is really important to me,
Speaker 1: and I think her coming to Melbourne, I wanted to
Speaker 1: incorporate and make sure that we sort of day on
Speaker 1: that routine of like because we've got two dogs now,
Speaker 1: Like it's crazy, we're great training, we've got two dogs
Speaker 1: to manage, we're living together, Like it's a crazy world
Speaker 1: to be like in each other's space now. But I
Speaker 1: feel like it's been so good. It's been such a
Speaker 1: learning process for both of us, Like we're learning how
Speaker 1: to fight, which not.
Speaker 2: We don't fight in terms of fight styles, yeah, fight style,
Speaker 2: And what is me.
Speaker 1: Is to address it when it's happening and to point
Speaker 1: out the elephant in the room.
Speaker 3: And she is great.
Speaker 1: She is a little avoidant, but she's aware of it,
Speaker 1: so she's working on it and she has. We've both
Speaker 1: been like so busy that we haven't lived in like
Speaker 1: fought or anything like that. But there's been moments where
Speaker 1: I've been really overly stressed and I've been like, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to do everything because as I would, and I'm
Speaker 1: not leaning into my partner support, and I'm doing it
Speaker 1: all and thinking that I need to do it all.
Speaker 1: And that's been a learning thing for me to like
Speaker 1: actually rely on the people that are there and she
Speaker 1: It's not like I don't trust her to do it,
Speaker 1: but that reliance is really hard for me giving.
Speaker 3: So that's been really.
Speaker 2: About like also not relinquishing. Yeah, it's knowing you can
Speaker 2: take some of the load.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: But it's been really joyful, like I yeah, like I
Speaker 1: feel really excited about you know, if we were to
Speaker 1: live together, how it would work. And the dogs have adapted.
Speaker 1: There were two pieces in a podest no, honest to god,
Speaker 1: Like wow, Clover has been really difficult in terms of
Speaker 1: her habits, like breaking the habits that she's asked.
Speaker 2: Do you keep that dog in the bedside table?
Speaker 3: So the bedside tables are crates?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is that safe for the dog?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks like a dungeon that you would keep
Speaker 2: like Dobby in where's the light?
Speaker 3: They're only in it for bedtime.
Speaker 2: And they're in both sides. Yeah, oh my god, Okay, no,
Speaker 2: there there obviously is. But I want you to put
Speaker 2: up a video of these dog crates. I want to
Speaker 2: see what people think.
Speaker 1: I'll literally show you like, no, I will show you
Speaker 1: a photo of Clover last night.
Speaker 2: So maybe they're happy.
Speaker 3: They are happy, I tell you now.
Speaker 2: Here, I am like, what is she doing to the dog?
Speaker 1: That's what she looks like in her crate mind you
Speaker 1: on her back laying she's happy.
Speaker 2: They're really little dogs, aren't they.
Speaker 1: Melbourne is freezing. It just dropped temperature and so it's
Speaker 1: so fucking cold.
Speaker 2: So they're not draw They're not cupboards that you turned
Speaker 2: into crates made for dogs. At what I thought was
Speaker 2: it was a cupboard that you just had a mesh
Speaker 2: thing over and the dogs were in theres.
Speaker 1: No, It's like it's like anyone who knows how to
Speaker 1: look after a dog and has done research on how
Speaker 1: to train a dog crate training wash and it teaches them.
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, it's like I want Clover
Speaker 1: to have her space, but not Koba's. It's her space
Speaker 1: and the same with Kloba. They're together all the time.
Speaker 1: And like you know, when I said to me about
Speaker 1: great training, she didn't have. She had many doubts that
Speaker 1: Clover would adapt. She's been phenomenal.
Speaker 2: Sho now like she's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, say good bye, like good night at bedtime, they
Speaker 1: jump both and sometimes that you get into the fucking
Speaker 1: same crate because they want to be stuck together.
Speaker 3: Wow, So like, yeah, it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2: Oh well that's cute, Okay.
Speaker 1: I think because I imagine Cosmo, because I.
Speaker 2: Had a forty five kilo dog, I just couldn't imagine.
Speaker 1: You know, well, this is a thing, and this is
Speaker 1: so crazy. And I think like anyone in a new relationship,
Speaker 1: especially in a same sex relationship, right, Like, we've had
Speaker 1: so many messages from people being like, it's so nice
Speaker 1: to see you guys adapting. And they know MIM's relationship
Speaker 1: through TikTok, and they know my relationship through Instagram okay,
Speaker 1: and the watching it unfold, right, And they know MIM's
Speaker 1: dog as Clover being with her ex, right, and they're
Speaker 1: seeing now Clover, who is the child of that divorce,
Speaker 1: per se in a new mum relationship and she's thriving,
Speaker 1: And they're actually sending Mim messages being like, it's so
Speaker 1: nice to see Clover thriving in her step mom, you
Speaker 1: know energy, And I think that's really fucking wholeset.
Speaker 2: How much work have you put in with Clover?
Speaker 1: Lot a lot, a lot for good reason. Right, I'm
Speaker 1: so madly in love with mim. It's ridiculous, like I've
Speaker 1: never loved it's kind of gross, but like, I'm so lucky.
Speaker 1: I don't know how the fuck I landed this woman.
Speaker 1: I had no idea she would even like fall for
Speaker 1: me in any sense and being with her, like, I
Speaker 1: don't see our life as a period of time.
Speaker 3: I think I.
Speaker 1: Do see it as like being together and building a
Speaker 1: life together. So clover coming into my life. It wasn't
Speaker 1: like she's my step child and I'm like, she's my daughter.
Speaker 1: I'm taking care of her and I want to make
Speaker 1: sure she has the most like fulfilled life, right, And
Speaker 1: I think, like, I know, these are fucking dogs at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, there's a dogs like like
Speaker 1: I'm not like and you know your your child is
Speaker 1: a separation like you lost custody.
Speaker 2: I lost custody the dog, and you know what I'm
Speaker 2: The thing is that I loved Cosmo enough to leave
Speaker 2: Cosmo behind. And Cosmo was so happy in the house,
Speaker 2: in his comfortability. He was very much going to be
Speaker 2: going here, there, and everywhere if he was to share
Speaker 2: time with me, which meant that I would have to
Speaker 2: then stay in contact with the ex. And for me,
Speaker 2: Cosmo now still lives that great life. He's forgotten about me,
Speaker 2: and that's okay. I really accept that.
Speaker 1: I don't think he has forgotten about it.
Speaker 2: But dogs, you know, dogs only know what they know.
Speaker 2: Dogs do, Dogs don't because I think what happens. If
Speaker 2: I walked past him and he smelled me, he would
Speaker 2: be like, oh my gosh, all those memories will come back.
Speaker 2: But right now he's licking his own asshole, taking great
Speaker 2: big ships on his long walks and he's fine.
Speaker 4: We're talking about it, talking guys, Matthew's ex boyfriend doing it,
Speaker 4: but subtle shade.
Speaker 3: No, you're hilarious. But mind you.
Speaker 1: We did have to go pick up something at MIM's
Speaker 1: ex partner's house and we took Clover, and Clover knew
Speaker 1: exactly did you meet. No, no, no no. But I'm really, like,
Speaker 1: you know, supportive of the fact that Mim got to
Speaker 1: take Clover and she's adapted so well, and it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, and Mim says to me, I feel like
Speaker 1: this is seeing you how you take care of them,
Speaker 1: is showing me how you would be as a mother.
Speaker 1: And I think that's really important to like practice, right. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: She says that I'll be really hard because in a
Speaker 1: good way. Obviously I'll probably play bad cop rather than
Speaker 1: like fun mum, which is fine. I'm more diligent and
Speaker 1: a bit more like structured and retained. But you know,
Speaker 1: like I thrive in that. I like my my family
Speaker 1: to be, you know, all working serendipitously and doing things
Speaker 1: and like working together and like kind of thriving in that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, well, speaking of parenthood.
Speaker 1: I know, what's the update on yours.
Speaker 2: We have decided which agency we're going through.
Speaker 3: That's big.
Speaker 2: Embryos are being created in December, so.
Speaker 1: Oh, hang on with.
Speaker 2: I will have a baby next year. Holy, We've got
Speaker 2: the budget. We know exactly how much it costs this.
Speaker 2: It'll be my sperm and the sister's egg, so and
Speaker 2: we'll have a surayet carry the baby. Okay, So to
Speaker 2: be both Denny and I's DNA, we met with agency
Speaker 2: from Colombia and the sister has to go through a
Speaker 2: two month process to get all her tests done. But
Speaker 2: if that all goes well, we'll use her egg, and
Speaker 2: if it doesn't, we will use a donu's egg. But
Speaker 2: hoping that everything goes well with the sister. She's the
Speaker 2: best candidate, she's the perfect age. Yeah, she's you know,
Speaker 2: Denny's DNA, you know, blood relative. And we will embed
Speaker 2: the embryos in December.
Speaker 1: That's crazy, I know.
Speaker 2: Which means that nine months from December the baby will
Speaker 2: be a virgo.
Speaker 3: So September, Yeah, from.
Speaker 2: December, nine months from yeah, December is September. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: a virgo. I've got so many virgos in my family.
Speaker 2: You know, you're talking about star signs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, I know't, but like.
Speaker 2: So Beyonce's virgo, which is great. My brother's a virgo,
Speaker 2: my mum's a virgo, my.
Speaker 1: Dad's a virgo.
Speaker 2: There you go. They're great people. They're very driven. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm really excited because I really wanted to be, you know,
Speaker 2: biologically connected to my child as a dad, and this
Speaker 2: is going to be the best process for Denny and
Speaker 2: I in this scenario.
Speaker 3: Do you feel a bit nervous, like I guess.
Speaker 2: I feel like I have time now. Yeah, really get prepared.
Speaker 3: This is okay, this is the best thing.
Speaker 1: And I feel like being in a queer relationship is
Speaker 1: that it's a baby, isn't just like, oh shit, okay,
Speaker 1: we're pregnant.
Speaker 2: It's a huge it's a conversation deal. Many things you
Speaker 2: have to think about. There's no accidents.
Speaker 1: Time and money and you have that time is huge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think about investment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you actually like think about it. It's not
Speaker 1: just like something that can just you know, in an
Speaker 1: ideal world, it would be great, just happened, but it's not.
Speaker 1: And it just I love the process of taking the
Speaker 1: time out. Because Mim and I just had like a
Speaker 1: brief chat about children, just like you know, roughly when
Speaker 1: we're talking about motherhood and stuff, and she said, look,
Speaker 1: I am like five years off even thinking about it.
Speaker 2: And I said, great, because you're on the same page.
Speaker 3: We are on the same page.
Speaker 1: I mean, i'll be thirty five, so i'll be a
Speaker 1: little bit older and she'll be just hitting thirty two.
Speaker 1: And that's okay. I mean, there's so much time to
Speaker 1: think about it.
Speaker 2: That's what I will be when the baby comes, probably
Speaker 2: thirty one, you know. So the thing is we're going
Speaker 2: to have to live in Columbia for a little bit.
Speaker 2: So at the end of that.
Speaker 1: We're going to do the podcast from Colombia.
Speaker 2: Well, there you go.
Speaker 3: It's first takes Columbia.
Speaker 2: Columbia, Yeah, Mia, more.
Speaker 3: Change.
Speaker 2: But look, I'm really excited to actually live in Columbia
Speaker 2: and get that support from Denny's family. So we will
Speaker 2: live there for up to four months after the baby's born.
Speaker 2: And you know, his tight knit family as many sisters,
Speaker 2: his mummy's aunties will be really hands on. So having that,
Speaker 2: you know, support and then bringing baby back and take
Speaker 2: I know. And the thing is you can select everything.
Speaker 1: How long wait, how long do you have the baby
Speaker 1: over there until you can bring the baby back?
Speaker 2: Well, I will realistically as long as we want because the.
Speaker 1: Baby want to bring a newborn straight back.
Speaker 2: Well for four months we'll be there. So we'll be
Speaker 2: there for four months from September until January. If it
Speaker 2: all goes to plan, and this is you know, this
Speaker 2: all unfolds, it unfolds in the timeline that we're looking at,
Speaker 2: it could be later than that, but we'll be there
Speaker 2: for four months once the baby is born. So we'll stay.
Speaker 2: We'll get all the documentation done, we'll get the passports done.
Speaker 1: Is it expensive?
Speaker 2: It is?
Speaker 1: How much?
Speaker 2: So all up around sixty thousand dollars wow, yeah, So
Speaker 2: around the deposit from sixty to seventy thousand dollars. And
Speaker 2: this is in Colombia where the pricing is actually quite good,
Speaker 2: so we're we're looking around sixty. We're actually budgeted, you know,
Speaker 2: between sixteen eighty. And that's a big investment, massive investments.
Speaker 1: As an investment for your lives, for our life.
Speaker 3: And just like buying a car, you might only need.
Speaker 2: One baby, and I don't mind that because I think
Speaker 2: giving that child all of my love and attention will
Speaker 2: be my life.
Speaker 1: Still, what do you think the benefits of being like
Speaker 1: having two dads is? Because we often think because I don't,
Speaker 1: I never had my mom growing up like you know,
Speaker 1: and I think, wow, imagine if I had two moms
Speaker 1: like I would.
Speaker 2: Be in all forms. And I think that it doesn't
Speaker 2: need to be the nuclear family that we all once saw,
Speaker 2: you know. I think that having two dads is the
Speaker 2: equivalent as having a mom and a dad. And I
Speaker 2: have motherly instincts. I know that sounds weird as a
Speaker 2: man to say, but I have I wouldn't say motherly instincts,
Speaker 2: It's more like feminine traits. And I think that I'll
Speaker 2: be able to bring that into being that sort of
Speaker 2: dual mother father figure for the child, and also the
Speaker 2: mother being Denny's sister, always be connected to the child.
Speaker 2: So we will go back to Columbia every year. We
Speaker 2: might have been live in Columbia for some period of
Speaker 2: time in the future, we don't know. So the baby
Speaker 2: being biologically a part of Danny's family and having that
Speaker 2: connection is super important. So we we're not going to
Speaker 2: choose the gender. There's all these options. Did you know
Speaker 2: you can choose the gender. You can choose the eye color,
Speaker 2: you can like you can legit if you're going through IVF, and.
Speaker 3: You can shop a baby if.
Speaker 2: You're not choosing the egg. Like say, for instance, if
Speaker 2: I was going to go through their catalog and choose
Speaker 2: a donor, there's like you see the eyes of the woman,
Speaker 2: you see like the features of the woman. It's like
Speaker 2: fully like design a baby.
Speaker 1: So odd going through and being like, yeah.
Speaker 3: I would like it gonna come by extra ketchup? Can
Speaker 3: I get blue with six five?
Speaker 2: And we would just like we don't want to create
Speaker 2: a product, Like so whatever this baby's gender is, we're
Speaker 2: happy with. Like, it's not like we're going to choose
Speaker 2: a boy. You know. It's like if we have a
Speaker 2: little girl, we'll be girl dads and that's cool. So
Speaker 2: it's so exciting, Like I can't even tell you how
Speaker 2: excited I am. Like I feel almost emotional when I
Speaker 2: think about like my life in a year because I'll
Speaker 2: be on the you know, on that path of like being.
Speaker 1: So talking about babies and like you know, legal legalities
Speaker 1: and everything, like is there marriage.
Speaker 3: On the cards?
Speaker 2: Well, I don't, you know, I've always wanted to do.
Speaker 1: You guys want to get married first of.
Speaker 2: All, honestly, we both do. And I think that whether
Speaker 2: it happens before or after, I've got a bit of
Speaker 2: a timeline in my hand, in my head. And Denny
Speaker 2: listens to them. I don't think he listens to the
Speaker 2: pod every week. So it's sad, but for me, I'm
Speaker 2: actually like thinking.
Speaker 5: The producers apologize for this interruption. We'll be right back
Speaker 5: with Maddie and Broke as soon as possible.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you do you want to get married, which
Speaker 1: is great, but you don't know when So that's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well you mean you don't have to get married obviously
Speaker 1: before you have a baby, Like, there's plenty of time.
Speaker 2: And if I do, I want to make sure that
Speaker 2: we you know, I'm very aware that Denny's here by himself.
Speaker 2: You know, he doesn't have any family here, so I
Speaker 2: want I'm very conseed I'm the Denny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I'm thinking of moving to Sydney so i
Speaker 1: can be closer to Mm's family because she has a
Speaker 1: really supportive.
Speaker 2: Family and I think, like beautiful.
Speaker 1: They've taken me in. Her dad calls me, So her
Speaker 1: dad calls me, and because he I don't know from
Speaker 1: the get go, like I've been so invested in Mm's
Speaker 1: family because you know, obviously all families have their dynamics,
Speaker 1: and you know, there has been like you know, some
Speaker 1: not hostility, but you know, they haven't really been in
Speaker 1: the same roy close. Yeah, and like I my family
Speaker 1: are you know, send me close in a sense, and
Speaker 1: I would love that. You know, one Mim and I
Speaker 1: did definitely get married that they can be in the
Speaker 1: same room, and everyone was sort of you know, is
Speaker 1: there for us. So I've actually said to Mim, like,
Speaker 1: I will make it my mission to get them in
Speaker 1: the same room because I owe that to them, I
Speaker 1: owe it to ourselves and I owe it to you know,
Speaker 1: being how I am like family. So is it like
Speaker 1: it's so important to me in community, Like I don't
Speaker 1: have anyone in Melbourne. I'm like, why am I there?
Speaker 1: I agree, honestly, why the a Everyone says this to
Speaker 1: me and I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, a reason to be here.
Speaker 1: So I think the penny has actually we probably put
Speaker 1: this as a video. I think the penny has actually clicked.
Speaker 1: And I think I will move to Sydney in the summer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I will live out the rest of my
Speaker 1: sea because it's nice having housemates. You know, at the
Speaker 1: moment I have to give them some notice, of course,
Speaker 1: but like at the same time, you know, I've been
Speaker 1: weighing this decision.
Speaker 2: I've not you know, from thinking about it for a while.
Speaker 2: Now you have a reason, well, yeah, or you wouldn't
Speaker 2: live in the Shire.
Speaker 1: Well she wants to live in the Shire.
Speaker 2: Well I think you have to. You have to make
Speaker 2: a compromise and come halfway in.
Speaker 3: Okay. This is from Maddie's perspective.
Speaker 2: From my perspective, I think a compromise is like San
Speaker 2: Susi Brighton, there's you know that area is sort of
Speaker 2: twenty minutes this way and twenty minutes to the city,
Speaker 2: twenty minutes to Southern Shire. That's a good compromise. Maybe
Speaker 2: buy out an apartment together there.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's kind of like the next it's weirdly
Speaker 1: right next.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great. I mean you're invested. I love it.
Speaker 1: This is the most exciting part when I have listened
Speaker 1: to you talk about Denny over the time, and I'm
Speaker 1: sure most of our listeners have been on that journey
Speaker 1: with your relationship.
Speaker 3: Like they haven't.
Speaker 1: You know, that's been ins and outs of peapable for me,
Speaker 1: And that sounds really bad, but it's just like I
Speaker 1: generally had feel I felt like I honestly manifested mim
Speaker 1: like if I was going to be with anyone, it's
Speaker 1: it's the sound of her voice, It's the way she looks,
Speaker 1: it's the way that she is in personality. Like she
Speaker 1: is everything that I envisioned with being with a person.
Speaker 1: And I'm glad that I went through having to like
Speaker 1: go through all those shitty people over the time of
Speaker 1: the podcast. And I'm sure everyone who has listened to
Speaker 1: me complain and bitch and morown about previous partners. It's
Speaker 1: part of the journey. It's part of the life journey,
Speaker 1: and like it's led me to be with someone who
Speaker 1: is so compassionate and so.
Speaker 3: Just beautifully there for me.
Speaker 1: I'm finding the fact that I feel like I need
Speaker 1: to always still be so independent and that's really hard,
Speaker 1: but it's exciting talking about, you know, hearing your life
Speaker 1: plans around babies and stuff like that and just knowing
Speaker 1: that that's also something that is in my life plan.
Speaker 3: Is that weird?
Speaker 2: No, But I think that's super exciting. I also love
Speaker 2: that you're visioning, envisioning a future, you know, like it's
Speaker 2: not I think that temporary.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think when you've had like your small stints in
Speaker 2: relationships with different people, maybe you didn't believe that there
Speaker 2: was that future there with them. Now so now you
Speaker 2: see it and so your mind is going to these
Speaker 2: other other ways, and I think that's great.
Speaker 1: I just haven't ever like no disrespect, like in even
Speaker 1: when I was meant to be the person that I'm
Speaker 1: picking up the end of this show, Like even with them,
Speaker 1: I could not picture them forever. Yeah, like I was
Speaker 1: building a life, but it felt like I was building
Speaker 1: a life for a period of time. Yeah, it didn't
Speaker 1: feel like you and forever.
Speaker 2: An interesting thing is about that whole experience, though you
Speaker 2: were limited, and when I'm what I mean by limited
Speaker 2: is that you had to select from a group of
Speaker 2: people that's not life. So it's really hard to find
Speaker 2: your perfect person in that in that cohort.
Speaker 1: So and other people are car stined for me that's right,
Speaker 1: and they don't know that's right. So yeah, that's when
Speaker 1: I found Mim. Yeah, and I I shot my shot.
Speaker 1: I won.
Speaker 2: The rose, the Final Rose.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But like it's crazy because yeah, the journey of hearing
Speaker 1: your stuff and then my stuff and being like excited
Speaker 1: about all these things, it's crazy. It gives you such
Speaker 1: a new life perspective of like you get I'm seeing
Speaker 1: like colors, I'm seeing excitement, I'm seeing joy, Like I'm
Speaker 1: really like fully experiencing that on like a full forty
Speaker 1: five D experience.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 1: Like I don't feel so.
Speaker 3: I don't know, like stale or stagnant.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like I'm excited about It could be
Speaker 1: just the smallest of things of like going and getting
Speaker 1: our morning coffee and like I have Mim my dad. Actually,
Speaker 1: this is so beautiful if you know Pete, guys, you
Speaker 1: know Pete always says the right things and it's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: But when I called him after the book launch on Saturday.
Speaker 1: He goes, Oh, I'm so glad Mims with you and
Speaker 1: you're together because you can now debrief together and you
Speaker 1: can decompress and you can talk about how that was
Speaker 1: a big moment of my life. And she's there with
Speaker 1: me as my partner and like supporting me. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get so emotional. But it's just like holy shit,
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, I have a family, but I'm starting
Speaker 1: my own and this isn't that crazy? And you probably
Speaker 1: feel like this too, Like you're you're starting your own family,
Speaker 1: like it's yours, yeah, and you're creating it and it's
Speaker 1: everything that you want for yourself and it's not like
Speaker 1: you have control.
Speaker 3: But I mean, if you're ever.
Speaker 1: Been one of those people that has felt like you
Speaker 1: like you are a lone wolf and you're doing life
Speaker 1: by yourself, and you know you've been you know, estranged
Speaker 1: from your family or you've been fostered or you've been
Speaker 1: adopted or whatever your circumstances, it's like you honestly do
Speaker 1: feel like that is not something that I'll ever have.
Speaker 1: And I think like when you get to a point
Speaker 1: where you're envisioning a life having this family and creating
Speaker 1: it yourself. You're like, oh my god, I never thought
Speaker 1: this would be real. You kind of do feel like
Speaker 1: you're in a dream.
Speaker 3: State in a sense.
Speaker 2: I think the beautiful thing that you're going to experience
Speaker 2: to is the ebbs and flows a relationship like this
Speaker 2: relationship when you when you get to that level of
Speaker 2: investment where you're like, yeah, this is the person who
Speaker 2: I'm going to be with. I think you also get
Speaker 2: to an understanding that it's not always going to be
Speaker 2: like you know and happy times. And I think what
Speaker 2: I learned along the way with Denny is that understanding
Speaker 2: my part and really understanding them. See how they feel
Speaker 2: when you say certain things, See how they react to
Speaker 2: certain things, See how they conflict, Like what's their fight
Speaker 2: style or stresses them out? All of those little things
Speaker 2: really taking in because then you can react in a
Speaker 2: way that or diffuse something that might end up being huge,
Speaker 2: you know, much easier.
Speaker 1: And so like you're using all the life skills as
Speaker 1: well that you've built and you've like unpacked and relearned
Speaker 1: and unlearned and all that stuff you're putting it into
Speaker 1: like a practical sense in a relationship, you're looking at
Speaker 1: someone where it's like you're not just looking at yourself
Speaker 1: and being like what do I want and what am
Speaker 1: I doing? You're like looking at your partner being like
Speaker 1: they're not feeling good? What can I do to make
Speaker 1: them feel good? Like it's it's shifting. I've always been
Speaker 1: a loving and a very giving person, but I feel
Speaker 1: like my generosity and my love is being received and
Speaker 1: it's being received and it's being felt and it's given
Speaker 1: back to me in the ways that I need. And
Speaker 1: we talk about this all the time, Like my love
Speaker 1: love language is just like I'm an access service girl,
Speaker 1: Like I love taking care of my family and I
Speaker 1: love it, but Memes is not. And how I need
Speaker 1: to love her is she needs to feel the love.
Speaker 1: She needs to feel it physically, and that's so fine,
Speaker 1: and I will yeah, yeah, And I think we're still learning.
Speaker 1: Obviously it's only been three months, guys, but it does
Speaker 1: feel like something building and I just, yeah, I agree
Speaker 1: with you in that sense.
Speaker 3: It's like you.
Speaker 1: The shift of your mindset is it's not about me anymore.
Speaker 1: It's about us, and it's about what we can do
Speaker 1: for each other to live such a more fulfilling life
Speaker 1: and relationship, you know, And I think I've always wanted that.
Speaker 1: I've always like dreamt of it, and I thought as well,
Speaker 1: like I've challenged myself so many times with other things,
Speaker 1: and I always feel like when I get to an obstacle,
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's too hard, I can't go. But this
Speaker 1: just doesn't feel like that, Like, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3: Ready for the fights.
Speaker 1: I'm ready for the challenges because I'm like, how are
Speaker 1: we going to get through it? Because we are going
Speaker 1: to get through it. I know that we are.
Speaker 2: I think that's a beautiful place to like be. Is
Speaker 2: where you see that you're a partner. Isn't your enemy
Speaker 2: in a fight?
Speaker 1: No, you're a team.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're a team. So it's like, how do you
Speaker 2: get to the other side. It's actually something I learned
Speaker 2: in the book that you gave me about j J
Speaker 2: Loves Like one of the things that I learned is
Speaker 2: that when you're having conflict, don't see yourself as on
Speaker 2: opposing teams. And that's been super helpful for me. Like
Speaker 2: I'm like the ego then has to bow down and
Speaker 2: be like, actually, this isn't about who's going to win.
Speaker 2: This is about how do we both win, because if
Speaker 2: one of us wins, we both lose.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like, it's like this thing as well, like all right,
Speaker 1: we've spoken about it before as well, like X. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think X kind of come from a place of
Speaker 1: you've made me feel uncomfortable, but I haven't addressed it
Speaker 1: with you, and it's manifested.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I that was a big reflection for me because
Speaker 1: in past relationships, I would get the ick so easily. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, how can I Why am I
Speaker 1: not getting over this? Why do I feel like? And
Speaker 1: it is a feeling, but it's a feeling of uncomfortableness.
Speaker 1: And I think, like there's these little pet peeves that
Speaker 1: you have, like if someone doesn't click their toenails, disgusting, gross,
Speaker 1: that is ikey, But you can change that.
Speaker 3: It's not a deal breaker.
Speaker 1: But sometimes people God, look at me full circle moment
Speaker 1: about the perspective of an ick when I would I
Speaker 1: have a whole list of it?
Speaker 3: Yes, right, this.
Speaker 2: Is great, it's great. Yeah. I actually was asked what
Speaker 2: my EQ was the other day of a partner. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I found it really hard to find one. I
Speaker 2: found it really hard to find an eke. I was
Speaker 2: going maybe this, maybe that, maybe this, But then I
Speaker 2: was going.
Speaker 1: No, why are you creating it exactly?
Speaker 2: So I was looking for what my EQ was with
Speaker 2: at and I couldn't find it. Like one of the
Speaker 2: things that came to mind was the lack of opinion.
Speaker 2: But that's not an ick, you know, like when you
Speaker 2: ask someone like their opinion and I don't give it
Speaker 2: to you and they like surface level m like. But
Speaker 2: I was I think I created that in my mind
Speaker 2: as a big problem when it's like that isn't a
Speaker 2: big problem. Who cares if they don't have a huge opinion.
Speaker 1: You know, why do they need to?
Speaker 2: That's right?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, from the days of sitting in the hotel
Speaker 2: of all LaRue creating out EQ lists, remember on TikTok, Wow,
Speaker 2: we've matured.
Speaker 3: I know, look at us.
Speaker 2: Go No.
Speaker 3: I feel like this is the evolution of like.
Speaker 1: Getting older and being more mature and then being able
Speaker 1: to realize things. And I reached that yeah, yeah, less judgmental.
Speaker 1: And I think we don't really teach our young generation
Speaker 1: about these things. And I think because it's not the
Speaker 1: time yet, like they need to come to it later.
Speaker 1: And I think I needed to come too late. I
Speaker 1: think and I went to New York. I think that
Speaker 1: was a huge thing for me because I did that
Speaker 1: for me, and I'd been doing so much stuff for
Speaker 1: other people in the year, and I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this for me. And I felt like,
Speaker 1: I just it's so weird how I could come to
Speaker 1: myself at a place that wasn't my home, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think that's kind of me as well, Like
Speaker 1: I make home wherever my people are, and right now
Speaker 1: my people is mim and my life and it's her family.
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, I just I can't describe the feeling
Speaker 1: of like being like, well, I've just gained two moms
Speaker 1: and two.
Speaker 2: Dads, you know, Like it's a beautiful I know what
Speaker 2: that feels like.
Speaker 1: And another dad, and you know, my dad's gray and
Speaker 1: I love him so much and like he you know,
Speaker 1: I adopted him. He didn't adopt me, but I adopted him.
Speaker 1: But then, you know, and I'm making these I'm healing
Speaker 1: my other family, like you know, I took him to
Speaker 1: Easter break. I told you this, but I hadn't seen
Speaker 1: my stepmom for ages, and I went and saw them
Speaker 1: and my grandparents, who have been married for fifty years.
Speaker 1: Who are my stepmom's parents? And I'm starting to hear
Speaker 1: those little parts of my my life, my feelings. I
Speaker 1: don't know, because I feel like one day we're all
Speaker 1: going to be, you know, at the wedding, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to be like, these are all the people that
Speaker 1: changed my life and got me to this, you know,
Speaker 1: to be with this beautiful woman.
Speaker 2: Ye?
Speaker 1: God, after three months, it's kind of crazy, feel lesbian?
Speaker 3: Well you are so bad?
Speaker 2: Did you get married?
Speaker 5: The producers are extremely sorry for this interruption.
Speaker 2: Oh well that is exciting. I'm like, okay, that's that's.
Speaker 5: Like, oops, it happened again. The producers are incredibly sorry
Speaker 5: and embarrassed by this new interruption. We'll be right back
Speaker 5: with Maddie and Brooke as soon as possible.
Speaker 2: All right, let's wrap it there.
Speaker 3: Do you want to wrap it there?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do you want to do like your wedding non negotiables? Like?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like what is okay? I'll tell you right now.
Speaker 3: Are you doing something blue?
Speaker 2: No, I'm doing Are you.
Speaker 3: Wearing a suit?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Are you wearing a black or you're going to do
Speaker 1: white suits?
Speaker 2: I think that we could do white and black?
Speaker 1: Are you getting like eloped? And then having a bit
Speaker 1: big party or are you doing a ceremony and a reception.
Speaker 2: I think the perfect plan and I'm going to be
Speaker 2: doing nine percent of the planning here, but I would
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 1: Wait wait because like will Danny have like because his.
Speaker 2: Input, but he will have input in the Columbia side
Speaker 2: of things. I think we might have a massive wedding
Speaker 2: celebration in Columbia and it might be in like a
Speaker 2: farm and do a huge celebration.
Speaker 3: Or his family is a location wedding, the.
Speaker 2: Location wedding, but we would have two weddings, one here
Speaker 2: and one there.
Speaker 3: Slay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's the first thing about like I guess
Speaker 1: having like a partner who is like culturally diverse or
Speaker 1: anything like that, because I think like weddings aren't enough,
Speaker 1: like in mod like when do we have weddings? More
Speaker 1: funerals and weddings us to God.
Speaker 2: Like can somebody get married already and we can go
Speaker 2: to a wedding? Like come on.
Speaker 1: It's so funny because like I had my acting friends
Speaker 1: come to the book launch on Saturday and we're all
Speaker 1: talking and I was like, guys, I'm really excited that
Speaker 1: we all just became so close blah, blah blah, you know,
Speaker 1: as you do in friend groups, like because some people
Speaker 1: just grow up with each other from high school and
Speaker 1: they and everyone sort of gets married and has children
Speaker 1: at the same time.
Speaker 3: Like I don't have that.
Speaker 1: But like I feel like I said, oh, I can't
Speaker 1: wait for you know, one of us actually to get
Speaker 1: married and we can all be at each other's weddings.
Speaker 3: And then they just looked at.
Speaker 1: Girl. Yeah, I was like, guys three months and then
Speaker 1: I'm like the late little kid.
Speaker 2: Well, look, love is a is a big thing.
Speaker 1: We love love, love love.
Speaker 2: But I'm excited for you.
Speaker 1: I love for your journey with Surrogancy. It's going to
Speaker 1: be so beautiful. I can't wait to be Auntie Brooke
Speaker 1: and I know I'm going to be a heart I
Speaker 1: mean with other people who's like being an auntie it
Speaker 1: is like the coolest thing, like being like here, have
Speaker 1: them back.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be such a helicopter parent in the beginning.
Speaker 2: I just know this about myself, Like that's not good,
Speaker 2: I know, but I'm gonna have to work on it.
Speaker 2: I'm going to have that kid in therapy at age too.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should have like I mean, there's no manual
Speaker 1: to parenting is there?
Speaker 3: Like we all fuck it up?
Speaker 1: We all?
Speaker 2: I mean, do you think of the name manual e manual? No,
Speaker 2: just manual? M A and you e l manual because
Speaker 2: it's Maddie and Daniel or is that just lame? I
Speaker 2: don't Manuel Manuel Manuel?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Manuel's nice Manuel.
Speaker 2: Manual car not a manual car. No, it's a you
Speaker 2: eat el trust you.
Speaker 1: To put manual because he's in like I like it
Speaker 1: but I do.
Speaker 2: But it's growing up and a girl Amelia a m
Speaker 2: no e.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah that's nice.
Speaker 2: That's very like Colombian.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well that's all we have time for today. Guys,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for listening, because like, we haven't given
Speaker 1: you much of a life update for a while, and
Speaker 1: now that's right, we haven't.
Speaker 2: You know, what's going on.
Speaker 1: We've been interviewing, having some really good guests on. But
Speaker 1: it's nice to have a little unpark with you, guys.
Speaker 1: Maddie's leaving us soon, so it's just going to be
Speaker 1: you and I soon, that's right.
Speaker 2: Actually, while this is out, I'm probably on the plane
Speaker 2: you are, I mean Europe. You'll be seeing my update
Speaker 2: on social media. But if you want to hear anything,
Speaker 2: from us, or you want us to cover anything on
Speaker 2: the pod, make sure you hit us up. On social media.
Speaker 2: You can find Brook at Brook dot bloat and me
Speaker 2: at It's Maattie Meals and follow my European journey on socials.
Speaker 2: But if you want to hear other podcasts as well,
Speaker 2: you can check out and Over podcast Official.
Speaker 1: See you guys next week. Bye,