WEBVTT - Brooke & Matty's Wedding Plans...

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<v Speaker 1>Today we're recording on Gadigul Country and.

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<v Speaker 2>We'd like to pay our respects to the traditional custodians

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<v Speaker 2>of the Gati. Girl people, I know you're going to

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<v Speaker 2>dig this. It's like I've been given like an extra

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<v Speaker 2>sprinkle of something.

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<v Speaker 3>You've got layers, Yeah, I've got layers.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers.

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<v Speaker 2>You're making a lot of sense to that girl. No,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm done.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's I've been too honest to go. Okay, So how's

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<v Speaker 1>your seventy five challenge going?

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<v Speaker 2>I failed?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I do no no.

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<v Speaker 3>I refuse to take their way back.

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<v Speaker 2>What I will take it back because I am the

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<v Speaker 2>king of the reframe. Kiki Palmer put out a video

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<v Speaker 2>the other day and I feel so in.

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<v Speaker 1>A Linema Brook. I don't know who Palma.

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<v Speaker 2>This is one of those moments where you've just asked

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<v Speaker 2>if Mariah Carey is black, and I'm really fuck keep

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<v Speaker 2>Kikei Palmer is amazing, like she is an actor, singer,

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<v Speaker 2>a host. You well know k Kei Palmer. Trust me.

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<v Speaker 2>So she's the queen of reframe. I'm the king of reframe.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm taking it from her.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, Oh my God, a screenshot of her all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>She's the best, isn't she just great? Like her energy,

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<v Speaker 2>her vibe, it's just all there. So I love her.

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<v Speaker 2>And so when I realized I had failed seventy five hard,

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<v Speaker 2>I was disappointed. Honestly. I got to like fifty fifty

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<v Speaker 2>days in, and the things that I failed at weren't

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<v Speaker 2>the key priorities of mine in the challenge. So it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't that I drank alcohol, wasn't that I ate bad food.

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<v Speaker 2>It wasn't that I didn't work out. It wasn't even

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<v Speaker 2>that I didn't drink the water. It was that I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't journal and read the book every day, So that

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<v Speaker 2>they were the elements that I failed in. Okay, And

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<v Speaker 2>once I had sort of realized, you know, I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>journal that day, I didn't journal the next day, I

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<v Speaker 2>was finding it hard to actually journal. And I'll tell

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<v Speaker 2>you why, because it was like, it seems like such

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<v Speaker 2>a simple task, but for me to go with a

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<v Speaker 2>pen and paper every day and to sit there and

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<v Speaker 2>try and reflect and think about how I was feeling,

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<v Speaker 2>I was finding that I was quite i would say.

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<v Speaker 1>Like resentful of it, or like.

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<v Speaker 2>It seems like a task. It yeah, it seems like

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<v Speaker 2>it didn't come second nature to me. So I failed.

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<v Speaker 1>It isn't at the point of the challenge is that.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right, Well, you should be able to build up

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<v Speaker 2>a habit and get through that. But look, I've still

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<v Speaker 2>I'm still implementing the seventy five Hard challenge. I'm still

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<v Speaker 2>drinking my water working out. I have an injury at

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<v Speaker 2>the moment. My left foot is like a bit fucked up,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm gonna, you know, heal that before I go.

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<v Speaker 2>So the answer is that it is that I failed,

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<v Speaker 2>but overall I succeeded.

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<v Speaker 1>I like that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's yeah, that's good.

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<v Speaker 2>So that's the little update with seventy five Hard. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't feel bad about it, honestly. And last night I

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<v Speaker 2>went to Messina and I ate like ice cream and

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<v Speaker 2>that brings me so much joy. I don't know if

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<v Speaker 2>you get the same joy from.

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<v Speaker 1>Ice cream me personal.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like does ice cream fulfill your soul, your whole

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<v Speaker 2>your world? For me, it really is like it goes

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<v Speaker 2>Beyonce and then ice cream.

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<v Speaker 3>There's no in between.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no in between, Like Beyonce and ice cream. There

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<v Speaker 2>are two things in my world that I'm like cream

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<v Speaker 2>Dela Creme.

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<v Speaker 1>We were I get such fulfillment out of cooking random,

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<v Speaker 1>but like, I love cooking at home and I think,

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<v Speaker 1>like when I cook a meal, when we sit down

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<v Speaker 1>and have like dinner, I think that's probably the same

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<v Speaker 1>as ice cream. I know it sounds pretty lame.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it's the same feeling, probably, But yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not like a huge I'm as sweet tooth, but

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<v Speaker 1>like in small dosages. Okay, yeah, I can't like eat

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<v Speaker 1>a whole tub of ice cream.

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<v Speaker 2>See I could easily.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you know what my thing is? Yo chi?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I think probably similar.

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<v Speaker 2>I love that. Yeah, well, tell me your girlfriend has

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<v Speaker 2>moved to Melbourne for a month because she's doing her prack.

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<v Speaker 2>You're currently in Sydney doing you know, your work. How

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<v Speaker 2>has it been? Like this is a whirl wind. You're

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<v Speaker 2>right on the edge of three months, which is like

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<v Speaker 2>three years in lesbian relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, three months is three years, and let's be

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship, Like, let's be honest. I honestly feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I have a wife. Yeah, I feel like I

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<v Speaker 1>am living in my wife era and I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 1>know that seems so silly. It's like three months like

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<v Speaker 1>chill out, But like I feel like we've Me is

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<v Speaker 1>in her third week of her school prack and we've

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<v Speaker 1>got into like routine and structure is really important to me,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think her coming to Melbourne, I wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>incorporate and make sure that we sort of day on

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<v Speaker 1>that routine of like because we've got two dogs now,

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<v Speaker 1>Like it's crazy, we're great training, we've got two dogs

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<v Speaker 1>to manage, we're living together, Like it's a crazy world

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<v Speaker 1>to be like in each other's space now. But I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like it's been so good. It's been such a

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<v Speaker 1>learning process for both of us, Like we're learning how

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<v Speaker 1>to fight, which not.

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<v Speaker 2>We don't fight in terms of fight styles, yeah, fight style,

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<v Speaker 2>And what is me.

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<v Speaker 1>Is to address it when it's happening and to point

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<v Speaker 1>out the elephant in the room.

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<v Speaker 3>And she is great.

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<v Speaker 1>She is a little avoidant, but she's aware of it,

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<v Speaker 1>so she's working on it and she has. We've both

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<v Speaker 1>been like so busy that we haven't lived in like

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<v Speaker 1>fought or anything like that. But there's been moments where

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<v Speaker 1>I've been really overly stressed and I've been like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>trying to do everything because as I would, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not leaning into my partner support, and I'm doing it

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<v Speaker 1>all and thinking that I need to do it all.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's been a learning thing for me to like

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<v Speaker 1>actually rely on the people that are there and she

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<v Speaker 1>It's not like I don't trust her to do it,

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<v Speaker 1>but that reliance is really hard for me giving.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's been really.

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<v Speaker 2>About like also not relinquishing. Yeah, it's knowing you can

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<v Speaker 2>take some of the load.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's been really joyful, like I yeah, like I

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<v Speaker 1>feel really excited about you know, if we were to

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<v Speaker 1>live together, how it would work. And the dogs have adapted.

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<v Speaker 1>There were two pieces in a podest no, honest to god,

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<v Speaker 1>Like wow, Clover has been really difficult in terms of

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<v Speaker 1>her habits, like breaking the habits that she's asked.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you keep that dog in the bedside table?

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<v Speaker 3>So the bedside tables are crates?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that safe for the dog?

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<v Speaker 3>Well?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it looks like a dungeon that you would keep

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<v Speaker 2>like Dobby in where's the light?

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<v Speaker 3>They're only in it for bedtime.

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<v Speaker 2>And they're in both sides. Yeah, oh my god, Okay, no,

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<v Speaker 2>there there obviously is. But I want you to put

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<v Speaker 2>up a video of these dog crates. I want to

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<v Speaker 2>see what people think.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll literally show you like, no, I will show you

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<v Speaker 1>a photo of Clover last night.

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<v Speaker 2>So maybe they're happy.

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<v Speaker 3>They are happy, I tell you now.

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<v Speaker 2>Here, I am like, what is she doing to the dog?

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<v Speaker 1>That's what she looks like in her crate mind you

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<v Speaker 1>on her back laying she's happy.

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<v Speaker 2>They're really little dogs, aren't they.

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<v Speaker 1>Melbourne is freezing. It just dropped temperature and so it's

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<v Speaker 1>so fucking cold.

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<v Speaker 2>So they're not draw They're not cupboards that you turned

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<v Speaker 2>into crates made for dogs. At what I thought was

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<v Speaker 2>it was a cupboard that you just had a mesh

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<v Speaker 2>thing over and the dogs were in theres.

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<v Speaker 1>No, It's like it's like anyone who knows how to

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<v Speaker 1>look after a dog and has done research on how

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<v Speaker 1>to train a dog crate training wash and it teaches them.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think, you know, it's like I want Clover

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<v Speaker 1>to have her space, but not Koba's. It's her space

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<v Speaker 1>and the same with Kloba. They're together all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>And like you know, when I said to me about

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<v Speaker 1>great training, she didn't have. She had many doubts that

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<v Speaker 1>Clover would adapt. She's been phenomenal.

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<v Speaker 2>Sho now like she's.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, say good bye, like good night at bedtime, they

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<v Speaker 1>jump both and sometimes that you get into the fucking

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<v Speaker 1>same crate because they want to be stuck together.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, So like, yeah, it's pretty funny.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh well that's cute, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I think because I imagine Cosmo, because I.

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<v Speaker 2>Had a forty five kilo dog, I just couldn't imagine.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, well, this is a thing, and this is

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<v Speaker 1>so crazy. And I think like anyone in a new relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>especially in a same sex relationship, right, Like, we've had

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<v Speaker 1>so many messages from people being like, it's so nice

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<v Speaker 1>to see you guys adapting. And they know MIM's relationship

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<v Speaker 1>through TikTok, and they know my relationship through Instagram okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and the watching it unfold, right, And they know MIM's

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<v Speaker 1>dog as Clover being with her ex, right, and they're

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<v Speaker 1>seeing now Clover, who is the child of that divorce,

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<v Speaker 1>per se in a new mum relationship and she's thriving,

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<v Speaker 1>And they're actually sending Mim messages being like, it's so

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<v Speaker 1>nice to see Clover thriving in her step mom, you

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<v Speaker 1>know energy, And I think that's really fucking wholeset.

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<v Speaker 2>How much work have you put in with Clover?

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<v Speaker 1>Lot a lot, a lot for good reason. Right, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so madly in love with mim. It's ridiculous, like I've

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<v Speaker 1>never loved it's kind of gross, but like, I'm so lucky.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how the fuck I landed this woman.

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<v Speaker 1>I had no idea she would even like fall for

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<v Speaker 1>me in any sense and being with her, like, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't see our life as a period of time.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I.

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<v Speaker 1>Do see it as like being together and building a

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<v Speaker 1>life together. So clover coming into my life. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>like she's my step child and I'm like, she's my daughter.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm taking care of her and I want to make

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<v Speaker 1>sure she has the most like fulfilled life, right, And

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<v Speaker 1>I think, like, I know, these are fucking dogs at

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, there's a dogs like like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not like and you know your your child is

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<v Speaker 1>a separation like you lost custody.

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<v Speaker 2>I lost custody the dog, and you know what I'm

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<v Speaker 2>The thing is that I loved Cosmo enough to leave

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<v Speaker 2>Cosmo behind. And Cosmo was so happy in the house,

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<v Speaker 2>in his comfortability. He was very much going to be

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<v Speaker 2>going here, there, and everywhere if he was to share

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<v Speaker 2>time with me, which meant that I would have to

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<v Speaker 2>then stay in contact with the ex. And for me,

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<v Speaker 2>Cosmo now still lives that great life. He's forgotten about me,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's okay. I really accept that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think he has forgotten about it.

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<v Speaker 2>But dogs, you know, dogs only know what they know.

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<v Speaker 2>Dogs do, Dogs don't because I think what happens. If

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<v Speaker 2>I walked past him and he smelled me, he would

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<v Speaker 2>be like, oh my gosh, all those memories will come back.

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<v Speaker 2>But right now he's licking his own asshole, taking great

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<v Speaker 2>big ships on his long walks and he's fine.

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<v Speaker 4>We're talking about it, talking guys, Matthew's ex boyfriend doing it,

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<v Speaker 4>but subtle shade.

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<v Speaker 3>No, you're hilarious. But mind you.

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<v Speaker 1>We did have to go pick up something at MIM's

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<v Speaker 1>ex partner's house and we took Clover, and Clover knew

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<v Speaker 1>exactly did you meet. No, no, no no. But I'm really, like,

0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:36.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, supportive of the fact that Mim got to

0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:41.160
<v Speaker 1>take Clover and she's adapted so well, and it's like,

0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, and Mim says to me, I feel like

0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.840
<v Speaker 1>this is seeing you how you take care of them,

0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.240
<v Speaker 1>is showing me how you would be as a mother.

0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:54.319
<v Speaker 1>And I think that's really important to like practice, right. Absolutely,

0:11:55.120 --> 0:11:58.360
<v Speaker 1>She says that I'll be really hard because in a

0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:01.839
<v Speaker 1>good way. Obviously I'll probably play bad cop rather than

0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:06.560
<v Speaker 1>like fun mum, which is fine. I'm more diligent and

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 1>a bit more like structured and retained. But you know,

0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:15.200
<v Speaker 1>like I thrive in that. I like my my family

0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:20.800
<v Speaker 1>to be, you know, all working serendipitously and doing things

0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:24.480
<v Speaker 1>and like working together and like kind of thriving in that.

0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:27.760
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, well, speaking of parenthood.

0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:29.560
<v Speaker 1>I know, what's the update on yours.

0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 2>We have decided which agency we're going through.

0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:35.560
<v Speaker 3>That's big.

0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:38.720
<v Speaker 2>Embryos are being created in December, so.

0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:39.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh, hang on with.

0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:45.679
<v Speaker 2>I will have a baby next year. Holy, We've got

0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.880
<v Speaker 2>the budget. We know exactly how much it costs this.

0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:51.959
<v Speaker 2>It'll be my sperm and the sister's egg, so and

0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:55.240
<v Speaker 2>we'll have a surayet carry the baby. Okay, So to

0:12:55.280 --> 0:13:00.720
<v Speaker 2>be both Denny and I's DNA, we met with agency

0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:03.800
<v Speaker 2>from Colombia and the sister has to go through a

0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:07.440
<v Speaker 2>two month process to get all her tests done. But

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.400
<v Speaker 2>if that all goes well, we'll use her egg, and

0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:12.720
<v Speaker 2>if it doesn't, we will use a donu's egg. But

0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.480
<v Speaker 2>hoping that everything goes well with the sister. She's the

0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.520
<v Speaker 2>best candidate, she's the perfect age. Yeah, she's you know,

0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:26.280
<v Speaker 2>Denny's DNA, you know, blood relative. And we will embed

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:27.600
<v Speaker 2>the embryos in December.

0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 1>That's crazy, I know.

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Which means that nine months from December the baby will

0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:33.320
<v Speaker 2>be a virgo.

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:36.600
<v Speaker 3>So September, Yeah, from.

0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:41.560
<v Speaker 2>December, nine months from yeah, December is September. Yeah, so

0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:45.320
<v Speaker 2>a virgo. I've got so many virgos in my family.

0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.400
<v Speaker 2>You know, you're talking about star signs.

0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, no, I know't, but like.

0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:52.439
<v Speaker 2>So Beyonce's virgo, which is great. My brother's a virgo,

0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:53.600
<v Speaker 2>my mum's a virgo, my.

0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.160
<v Speaker 1>Dad's a virgo.

0:13:55.400 --> 0:14:00.720
<v Speaker 2>There you go. They're great people. They're very driven. So yeah,

0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm really excited because I really wanted to be, you know,

0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.720
<v Speaker 2>biologically connected to my child as a dad, and this

0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.480
<v Speaker 2>is going to be the best process for Denny and

0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:14.760
<v Speaker 2>I in this scenario.

0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 3>Do you feel a bit nervous, like I guess.

0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I have time now. Yeah, really get prepared.

0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:23.800
<v Speaker 3>This is okay, this is the best thing.

0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:27.160
<v Speaker 1>And I feel like being in a queer relationship is

0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:31.120
<v Speaker 1>that it's a baby, isn't just like, oh shit, okay,

0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:31.800
<v Speaker 1>we're pregnant.

0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:36.040
<v Speaker 2>It's a huge it's a conversation deal. Many things you

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 2>have to think about. There's no accidents.

0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Time and money and you have that time is huge.

0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:44.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think about investment.

0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:48.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, you actually like think about it. It's not

0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:51.560
<v Speaker 1>just like something that can just you know, in an

0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:55.280
<v Speaker 1>ideal world, it would be great, just happened, but it's not.

0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:59.240
<v Speaker 1>And it just I love the process of taking the

0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.480
<v Speaker 1>time out. Because Mim and I just had like a

0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:05.080
<v Speaker 1>brief chat about children, just like you know, roughly when

0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 1>we're talking about motherhood and stuff, and she said, look,

0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 1>I am like five years off even thinking about it.

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.400
<v Speaker 2>And I said, great, because you're on the same page.

0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:15.440
<v Speaker 3>We are on the same page.

0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:17.200
<v Speaker 1>I mean, i'll be thirty five, so i'll be a

0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:20.440
<v Speaker 1>little bit older and she'll be just hitting thirty two.

0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.880
<v Speaker 1>And that's okay. I mean, there's so much time to

0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 1>think about it.

0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.760
<v Speaker 2>That's what I will be when the baby comes, probably

0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:31.200
<v Speaker 2>thirty one, you know. So the thing is we're going

0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:32.560
<v Speaker 2>to have to live in Columbia for a little bit.

0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:34.440
<v Speaker 2>So at the end of that.

0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:37.080
<v Speaker 1>We're going to do the podcast from Colombia.

0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Well, there you go.

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:41.640
<v Speaker 3>It's first takes Columbia.

0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:43.920
<v Speaker 2>Columbia, Yeah, Mia, more.

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:47.320
<v Speaker 3>Change.

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.040
<v Speaker 2>But look, I'm really excited to actually live in Columbia

0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:56.360
<v Speaker 2>and get that support from Denny's family. So we will

0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:59.240
<v Speaker 2>live there for up to four months after the baby's born.

0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:02.480
<v Speaker 2>And you know, his tight knit family as many sisters,

0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:06.520
<v Speaker 2>his mummy's aunties will be really hands on. So having that,

0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, support and then bringing baby back and take

0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:13.800
<v Speaker 2>I know. And the thing is you can select everything.

0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.040
<v Speaker 1>How long wait, how long do you have the baby

0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:17.880
<v Speaker 1>over there until you can bring the baby back?

0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, I will realistically as long as we want because the.

0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.360
<v Speaker 1>Baby want to bring a newborn straight back.

0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 2>Well for four months we'll be there. So we'll be

0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:28.880
<v Speaker 2>there for four months from September until January. If it

0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:30.720
<v Speaker 2>all goes to plan, and this is you know, this

0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.840
<v Speaker 2>all unfolds, it unfolds in the timeline that we're looking at,

0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:35.680
<v Speaker 2>it could be later than that, but we'll be there

0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.160
<v Speaker 2>for four months once the baby is born. So we'll stay.

0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:41.160
<v Speaker 2>We'll get all the documentation done, we'll get the passports done.

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:42.040
<v Speaker 1>Is it expensive?

0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:42.680
<v Speaker 2>It is?

0:16:42.960 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 1>How much?

0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 2>So all up around sixty thousand dollars wow, yeah, So

0:16:49.240 --> 0:16:53.280
<v Speaker 2>around the deposit from sixty to seventy thousand dollars. And

0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:56.440
<v Speaker 2>this is in Colombia where the pricing is actually quite good,

0:16:56.480 --> 0:17:01.640
<v Speaker 2>so we're we're looking around sixty. We're actually budgeted, you know,

0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:08.160
<v Speaker 2>between sixteen eighty. And that's a big investment, massive investments.

0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:09.080
<v Speaker 1>As an investment for your lives, for our life.

0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:11.600
<v Speaker 3>And just like buying a car, you might only need.

0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:13.520
<v Speaker 2>One baby, and I don't mind that because I think

0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:17.360
<v Speaker 2>giving that child all of my love and attention will

0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:17.880
<v Speaker 2>be my life.

0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.119
<v Speaker 1>Still, what do you think the benefits of being like

0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:23.600
<v Speaker 1>having two dads is? Because we often think because I don't,

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.679
<v Speaker 1>I never had my mom growing up like you know,

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:29.760
<v Speaker 1>and I think, wow, imagine if I had two moms

0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:30.520
<v Speaker 1>like I would.

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Be in all forms. And I think that it doesn't

0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.400
<v Speaker 2>need to be the nuclear family that we all once saw,

0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.840
<v Speaker 2>you know. I think that having two dads is the

0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:43.080
<v Speaker 2>equivalent as having a mom and a dad. And I

0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 2>have motherly instincts. I know that sounds weird as a

0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:48.159
<v Speaker 2>man to say, but I have I wouldn't say motherly instincts,

0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:50.840
<v Speaker 2>It's more like feminine traits. And I think that I'll

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 2>be able to bring that into being that sort of

0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:57.560
<v Speaker 2>dual mother father figure for the child, and also the

0:17:57.560 --> 0:18:01.440
<v Speaker 2>mother being Denny's sister, always be connected to the child.

0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.320
<v Speaker 2>So we will go back to Columbia every year. We

0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:05.000
<v Speaker 2>might have been live in Columbia for some period of

0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:08.240
<v Speaker 2>time in the future, we don't know. So the baby

0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.119
<v Speaker 2>being biologically a part of Danny's family and having that

0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.960
<v Speaker 2>connection is super important. So we we're not going to

0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.119
<v Speaker 2>choose the gender. There's all these options. Did you know

0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.120
<v Speaker 2>you can choose the gender. You can choose the eye color,

0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 2>you can like you can legit if you're going through IVF, and.

0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:24.560
<v Speaker 3>You can shop a baby if.

0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:26.760
<v Speaker 2>You're not choosing the egg. Like say, for instance, if

0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:30.240
<v Speaker 2>I was going to go through their catalog and choose

0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.720
<v Speaker 2>a donor, there's like you see the eyes of the woman,

0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.280
<v Speaker 2>you see like the features of the woman. It's like

0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:38.399
<v Speaker 2>fully like design a baby.

0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.640
<v Speaker 1>So odd going through and being like, yeah.

0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.240
<v Speaker 3>I would like it gonna come by extra ketchup? Can

0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 3>I get blue with six five?

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.840
<v Speaker 2>And we would just like we don't want to create

0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:54.760
<v Speaker 2>a product, Like so whatever this baby's gender is, we're

0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:56.600
<v Speaker 2>happy with. Like, it's not like we're going to choose

0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:58.119
<v Speaker 2>a boy. You know. It's like if we have a

0:18:58.119 --> 0:19:00.800
<v Speaker 2>little girl, we'll be girl dads and that's cool. So

0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:04.840
<v Speaker 2>it's so exciting, Like I can't even tell you how

0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 2>excited I am. Like I feel almost emotional when I

0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:10.320
<v Speaker 2>think about like my life in a year because I'll

0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:14.440
<v Speaker 2>be on the you know, on that path of like being.

0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:20.360
<v Speaker 1>So talking about babies and like you know, legal legalities

0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:24.200
<v Speaker 1>and everything, like is there marriage.

0:19:23.840 --> 0:19:24.600
<v Speaker 3>On the cards?

0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't, you know, I've always wanted to do.

0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:30.919
<v Speaker 1>You guys want to get married first of.

0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:36.119
<v Speaker 2>All, honestly, we both do. And I think that whether

0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:39.119
<v Speaker 2>it happens before or after, I've got a bit of

0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.160
<v Speaker 2>a timeline in my hand, in my head. And Denny

0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:45.240
<v Speaker 2>listens to them. I don't think he listens to the

0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:50.680
<v Speaker 2>pod every week. So it's sad, but for me, I'm

0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:52.480
<v Speaker 2>actually like thinking.

0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:57.920
<v Speaker 5>The producers apologize for this interruption. We'll be right back

0:19:57.920 --> 0:19:59.720
<v Speaker 5>with Maddie and Broke as soon as possible.

0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:07.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so you do you want to get married, which

0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:10.000
<v Speaker 1>is great, but you don't know when So that's like, yeah,

0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:12.200
<v Speaker 1>well you mean you don't have to get married obviously

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:14.520
<v Speaker 1>before you have a baby, Like, there's plenty of time.

0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:16.920
<v Speaker 2>And if I do, I want to make sure that

0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:21.360
<v Speaker 2>we you know, I'm very aware that Denny's here by himself.

0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:24.119
<v Speaker 2>You know, he doesn't have any family here, so I

0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:25.960
<v Speaker 2>want I'm very conseed I'm the Denny.

0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:29.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because I'm thinking of moving to Sydney so i

0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:31.399
<v Speaker 1>can be closer to Mm's family because she has a

0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:32.640
<v Speaker 1>really supportive.

0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:34.359
<v Speaker 2>Family and I think, like beautiful.

0:20:34.000 --> 0:20:37.119
<v Speaker 1>They've taken me in. Her dad calls me, So her

0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:39.600
<v Speaker 1>dad calls me, and because he I don't know from

0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:42.200
<v Speaker 1>the get go, like I've been so invested in Mm's

0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:45.800
<v Speaker 1>family because you know, obviously all families have their dynamics,

0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:48.119
<v Speaker 1>and you know, there has been like you know, some

0:20:48.640 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 1>not hostility, but you know, they haven't really been in

0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:55.720
<v Speaker 1>the same roy close. Yeah, and like I my family

0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:57.800
<v Speaker 1>are you know, send me close in a sense, and

0:20:57.880 --> 0:21:00.840
<v Speaker 1>I would love that. You know, one Mim and I

0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:02.720
<v Speaker 1>did definitely get married that they can be in the

0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:05.639
<v Speaker 1>same room, and everyone was sort of you know, is

0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:08.119
<v Speaker 1>there for us. So I've actually said to Mim, like,

0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:10.840
<v Speaker 1>I will make it my mission to get them in

0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:14.960
<v Speaker 1>the same room because I owe that to them, I

0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.879
<v Speaker 1>owe it to ourselves and I owe it to you know,

0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:22.600
<v Speaker 1>being how I am like family. So is it like

0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:25.680
<v Speaker 1>it's so important to me in community, Like I don't

0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 1>have anyone in Melbourne. I'm like, why am I there?

0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:31.679
<v Speaker 1>I agree, honestly, why the a Everyone says this to

0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:32.360
<v Speaker 1>me and I'm.

0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:34.480
<v Speaker 2>Like, yeah, a reason to be here.

0:21:35.280 --> 0:21:37.600
<v Speaker 1>So I think the penny has actually we probably put

0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:39.679
<v Speaker 1>this as a video. I think the penny has actually clicked.

0:21:39.680 --> 0:21:42.640
<v Speaker 1>And I think I will move to Sydney in the summer. Yeah,

0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:44.440
<v Speaker 1>I think I will live out the rest of my

0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:50.000
<v Speaker 1>sea because it's nice having housemates. You know, at the

0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:52.879
<v Speaker 1>moment I have to give them some notice, of course,

0:21:52.920 --> 0:21:56.640
<v Speaker 1>but like at the same time, you know, I've been

0:21:57.040 --> 0:21:58.040
<v Speaker 1>weighing this decision.

0:21:58.600 --> 0:22:01.440
<v Speaker 2>I've not you know, from thinking about it for a while.

0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:04.199
<v Speaker 2>Now you have a reason, well, yeah, or you wouldn't

0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:04.800
<v Speaker 2>live in the Shire.

0:22:05.640 --> 0:22:07.200
<v Speaker 1>Well she wants to live in the Shire.

0:22:07.600 --> 0:22:09.320
<v Speaker 2>Well I think you have to. You have to make

0:22:09.359 --> 0:22:11.040
<v Speaker 2>a compromise and come halfway in.

0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:13.360
<v Speaker 3>Okay. This is from Maddie's perspective.

0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:16.600
<v Speaker 2>From my perspective, I think a compromise is like San

0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Susi Brighton, there's you know that area is sort of

0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:24.440
<v Speaker 2>twenty minutes this way and twenty minutes to the city,

0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:27.600
<v Speaker 2>twenty minutes to Southern Shire. That's a good compromise. Maybe

0:22:27.640 --> 0:22:29.320
<v Speaker 2>buy out an apartment together there.

0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:32.000
<v Speaker 1>Well, yeah, that's kind of like the next it's weirdly

0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:32.600
<v Speaker 1>right next.

0:22:33.440 --> 0:22:36.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's great. I mean you're invested. I love it.

0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:43.200
<v Speaker 1>This is the most exciting part when I have listened

0:22:43.240 --> 0:22:45.080
<v Speaker 1>to you talk about Denny over the time, and I'm

0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:47.680
<v Speaker 1>sure most of our listeners have been on that journey

0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:49.479
<v Speaker 1>with your relationship.

0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:49.760
<v Speaker 3>Like they haven't.

0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:53.600
<v Speaker 1>You know, that's been ins and outs of peapable for me,

0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:57.080
<v Speaker 1>And that sounds really bad, but it's just like I

0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:02.480
<v Speaker 1>generally had feel I felt like I honestly manifested mim

0:23:02.520 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 1>like if I was going to be with anyone, it's

0:23:05.359 --> 0:23:08.040
<v Speaker 1>it's the sound of her voice, It's the way she looks,

0:23:08.160 --> 0:23:10.720
<v Speaker 1>it's the way that she is in personality. Like she

0:23:10.840 --> 0:23:15.840
<v Speaker 1>is everything that I envisioned with being with a person.

0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:19.959
<v Speaker 1>And I'm glad that I went through having to like

0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:22.119
<v Speaker 1>go through all those shitty people over the time of

0:23:22.119 --> 0:23:24.159
<v Speaker 1>the podcast. And I'm sure everyone who has listened to

0:23:24.160 --> 0:23:29.400
<v Speaker 1>me complain and bitch and morown about previous partners. It's

0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:32.000
<v Speaker 1>part of the journey. It's part of the life journey,

0:23:32.080 --> 0:23:34.000
<v Speaker 1>and like it's led me to be with someone who

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:36.240
<v Speaker 1>is so compassionate and so.

0:23:38.760 --> 0:23:40.639
<v Speaker 3>Just beautifully there for me.

0:23:41.119 --> 0:23:43.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm finding the fact that I feel like I need

0:23:43.119 --> 0:23:46.040
<v Speaker 1>to always still be so independent and that's really hard,

0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.960
<v Speaker 1>but it's exciting talking about, you know, hearing your life

0:23:50.000 --> 0:23:53.800
<v Speaker 1>plans around babies and stuff like that and just knowing

0:23:53.840 --> 0:23:57.680
<v Speaker 1>that that's also something that is in my life plan.

0:23:58.160 --> 0:23:58.760
<v Speaker 3>Is that weird?

0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:02.200
<v Speaker 2>No, But I think that's super exciting. I also love

0:24:02.400 --> 0:24:07.040
<v Speaker 2>that you're visioning, envisioning a future, you know, like it's

0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:09.159
<v Speaker 2>not I think that temporary.

0:24:09.440 --> 0:24:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:24:09.600 --> 0:24:12.119
<v Speaker 2>I think when you've had like your small stints in

0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:16.240
<v Speaker 2>relationships with different people, maybe you didn't believe that there

0:24:16.320 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 2>was that future there with them. Now so now you

0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:20.360
<v Speaker 2>see it and so your mind is going to these

0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:22.520
<v Speaker 2>other other ways, and I think that's great.

0:24:22.800 --> 0:24:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I just haven't ever like no disrespect, like in even

0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:30.320
<v Speaker 1>when I was meant to be the person that I'm

0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:33.320
<v Speaker 1>picking up the end of this show, Like even with them,

0:24:33.440 --> 0:24:37.119
<v Speaker 1>I could not picture them forever. Yeah, like I was

0:24:37.160 --> 0:24:39.240
<v Speaker 1>building a life, but it felt like I was building

0:24:39.280 --> 0:24:42.399
<v Speaker 1>a life for a period of time. Yeah, it didn't

0:24:42.400 --> 0:24:43.760
<v Speaker 1>feel like you and forever.

0:24:44.480 --> 0:24:47.479
<v Speaker 2>An interesting thing is about that whole experience, though you

0:24:47.480 --> 0:24:50.120
<v Speaker 2>were limited, and when I'm what I mean by limited

0:24:50.280 --> 0:24:52.600
<v Speaker 2>is that you had to select from a group of

0:24:52.600 --> 0:24:56.040
<v Speaker 2>people that's not life. So it's really hard to find

0:24:56.080 --> 0:24:58.720
<v Speaker 2>your perfect person in that in that cohort.

0:24:58.600 --> 0:25:01.560
<v Speaker 1>So and other people are car stined for me that's right,

0:25:01.600 --> 0:25:04.840
<v Speaker 1>and they don't know that's right. So yeah, that's when

0:25:04.840 --> 0:25:09.240
<v Speaker 1>I found Mim. Yeah, and I I shot my shot.

0:25:09.560 --> 0:25:10.240
<v Speaker 1>I won.

0:25:12.040 --> 0:25:13.280
<v Speaker 2>The rose, the Final Rose.

0:25:13.520 --> 0:25:13.879
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:17.560
<v Speaker 1>But like it's crazy because yeah, the journey of hearing

0:25:17.840 --> 0:25:19.920
<v Speaker 1>your stuff and then my stuff and being like excited

0:25:19.920 --> 0:25:22.400
<v Speaker 1>about all these things, it's crazy. It gives you such

0:25:22.400 --> 0:25:28.240
<v Speaker 1>a new life perspective of like you get I'm seeing

0:25:28.280 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 1>like colors, I'm seeing excitement, I'm seeing joy, Like I'm

0:25:31.800 --> 0:25:35.760
<v Speaker 1>really like fully experiencing that on like a full forty

0:25:36.080 --> 0:25:37.280
<v Speaker 1>five D experience.

0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:37.959
<v Speaker 2>I love that.

0:25:38.080 --> 0:25:40.160
<v Speaker 1>Like I don't feel so.

0:25:41.760 --> 0:25:45.280
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, like stale or stagnant.

0:25:44.760 --> 0:25:47.840
<v Speaker 1>Like I feel like I'm excited about It could be

0:25:47.920 --> 0:25:51.560
<v Speaker 1>just the smallest of things of like going and getting

0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:54.560
<v Speaker 1>our morning coffee and like I have Mim my dad. Actually,

0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:58.280
<v Speaker 1>this is so beautiful if you know Pete, guys, you

0:25:58.280 --> 0:26:00.760
<v Speaker 1>know Pete always says the right things and it's so beautiful.

0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:03.640
<v Speaker 1>But when I called him after the book launch on Saturday.

0:26:03.760 --> 0:26:07.199
<v Speaker 1>He goes, Oh, I'm so glad Mims with you and

0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:10.359
<v Speaker 1>you're together because you can now debrief together and you

0:26:10.400 --> 0:26:14.480
<v Speaker 1>can decompress and you can talk about how that was

0:26:14.520 --> 0:26:17.360
<v Speaker 1>a big moment of my life. And she's there with

0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:20.280
<v Speaker 1>me as my partner and like supporting me. Oh my god,

0:26:20.280 --> 0:26:23.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get so emotional. But it's just like holy shit,

0:26:23.960 --> 0:26:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm like, I have a family, but I'm starting

0:26:29.600 --> 0:26:31.919
<v Speaker 1>my own and this isn't that crazy? And you probably

0:26:31.960 --> 0:26:36.760
<v Speaker 1>feel like this too, Like you're you're starting your own family,

0:26:37.800 --> 0:26:42.359
<v Speaker 1>like it's yours, yeah, and you're creating it and it's

0:26:42.600 --> 0:26:48.520
<v Speaker 1>everything that you want for yourself and it's not like

0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:49.720
<v Speaker 1>you have control.

0:26:50.000 --> 0:26:51.800
<v Speaker 3>But I mean, if you're ever.

0:26:51.600 --> 0:26:54.320
<v Speaker 1>Been one of those people that has felt like you

0:26:57.119 --> 0:27:00.479
<v Speaker 1>like you are a lone wolf and you're doing life

0:27:00.640 --> 0:27:06.240
<v Speaker 1>by yourself, and you know you've been you know, estranged

0:27:06.280 --> 0:27:10.280
<v Speaker 1>from your family or you've been fostered or you've been

0:27:10.680 --> 0:27:15.120
<v Speaker 1>adopted or whatever your circumstances, it's like you honestly do

0:27:15.160 --> 0:27:17.680
<v Speaker 1>feel like that is not something that I'll ever have.

0:27:18.320 --> 0:27:20.359
<v Speaker 1>And I think like when you get to a point

0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:26.920
<v Speaker 1>where you're envisioning a life having this family and creating

0:27:26.960 --> 0:27:29.879
<v Speaker 1>it yourself. You're like, oh my god, I never thought

0:27:30.040 --> 0:27:33.080
<v Speaker 1>this would be real. You kind of do feel like

0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:34.040
<v Speaker 1>you're in a dream.

0:27:33.880 --> 0:27:34.879
<v Speaker 3>State in a sense.

0:27:35.240 --> 0:27:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I think the beautiful thing that you're going to experience

0:27:37.400 --> 0:27:40.360
<v Speaker 2>to is the ebbs and flows a relationship like this

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:42.560
<v Speaker 2>relationship when you when you get to that level of

0:27:42.600 --> 0:27:44.760
<v Speaker 2>investment where you're like, yeah, this is the person who

0:27:44.800 --> 0:27:47.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be with. I think you also get

0:27:47.920 --> 0:27:50.480
<v Speaker 2>to an understanding that it's not always going to be

0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:56.119
<v Speaker 2>like you know and happy times. And I think what

0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I learned along the way with Denny is that understanding

0:27:59.760 --> 0:28:03.040
<v Speaker 2>my part and really understanding them. See how they feel

0:28:03.040 --> 0:28:05.760
<v Speaker 2>when you say certain things, See how they react to

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:08.960
<v Speaker 2>certain things, See how they conflict, Like what's their fight

0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:13.080
<v Speaker 2>style or stresses them out? All of those little things

0:28:13.280 --> 0:28:16.600
<v Speaker 2>really taking in because then you can react in a

0:28:16.640 --> 0:28:21.399
<v Speaker 2>way that or diffuse something that might end up being huge,

0:28:21.480 --> 0:28:22.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, much easier.

0:28:23.280 --> 0:28:26.560
<v Speaker 1>And so like you're using all the life skills as

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:30.560
<v Speaker 1>well that you've built and you've like unpacked and relearned

0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:33.760
<v Speaker 1>and unlearned and all that stuff you're putting it into

0:28:33.920 --> 0:28:37.040
<v Speaker 1>like a practical sense in a relationship, you're looking at

0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:39.600
<v Speaker 1>someone where it's like you're not just looking at yourself

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:41.200
<v Speaker 1>and being like what do I want and what am

0:28:41.200 --> 0:28:43.720
<v Speaker 1>I doing? You're like looking at your partner being like

0:28:44.120 --> 0:28:46.280
<v Speaker 1>they're not feeling good? What can I do to make

0:28:46.320 --> 0:28:49.440
<v Speaker 1>them feel good? Like it's it's shifting. I've always been

0:28:49.440 --> 0:28:52.000
<v Speaker 1>a loving and a very giving person, but I feel

0:28:52.000 --> 0:28:55.520
<v Speaker 1>like my generosity and my love is being received and

0:28:55.560 --> 0:28:59.800
<v Speaker 1>it's being received and it's being felt and it's given

0:29:00.080 --> 0:29:03.280
<v Speaker 1>back to me in the ways that I need. And

0:29:03.560 --> 0:29:05.400
<v Speaker 1>we talk about this all the time, Like my love

0:29:05.520 --> 0:29:07.920
<v Speaker 1>love language is just like I'm an access service girl,

0:29:07.920 --> 0:29:09.400
<v Speaker 1>Like I love taking care of my family and I

0:29:09.440 --> 0:29:12.280
<v Speaker 1>love it, but Memes is not. And how I need

0:29:12.320 --> 0:29:15.480
<v Speaker 1>to love her is she needs to feel the love.

0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:18.000
<v Speaker 1>She needs to feel it physically, and that's so fine,

0:29:18.040 --> 0:29:22.280
<v Speaker 1>and I will yeah, yeah, And I think we're still learning.

0:29:22.360 --> 0:29:25.040
<v Speaker 1>Obviously it's only been three months, guys, but it does

0:29:25.120 --> 0:29:30.240
<v Speaker 1>feel like something building and I just, yeah, I agree

0:29:30.280 --> 0:29:31.080
<v Speaker 1>with you in that sense.

0:29:31.120 --> 0:29:32.640
<v Speaker 3>It's like you.

0:29:34.120 --> 0:29:38.600
<v Speaker 1>The shift of your mindset is it's not about me anymore.

0:29:38.840 --> 0:29:42.520
<v Speaker 1>It's about us, and it's about what we can do

0:29:42.640 --> 0:29:46.200
<v Speaker 1>for each other to live such a more fulfilling life

0:29:46.240 --> 0:29:49.960
<v Speaker 1>and relationship, you know, And I think I've always wanted that.

0:29:50.160 --> 0:29:55.000
<v Speaker 1>I've always like dreamt of it, and I thought as well,

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:58.440
<v Speaker 1>like I've challenged myself so many times with other things,

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:04.520
<v Speaker 1>and I always feel like when I get to an obstacle,

0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:07.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, it's too hard, I can't go. But this

0:30:07.840 --> 0:30:10.360
<v Speaker 1>just doesn't feel like that, Like, yeah, I'm.

0:30:11.200 --> 0:30:12.160
<v Speaker 3>Ready for the fights.

0:30:12.240 --> 0:30:14.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm ready for the challenges because I'm like, how are

0:30:14.480 --> 0:30:15.920
<v Speaker 1>we going to get through it? Because we are going

0:30:15.920 --> 0:30:17.160
<v Speaker 1>to get through it. I know that we are.

0:30:17.240 --> 0:30:19.680
<v Speaker 2>I think that's a beautiful place to like be. Is

0:30:19.720 --> 0:30:23.440
<v Speaker 2>where you see that you're a partner. Isn't your enemy

0:30:23.440 --> 0:30:23.840
<v Speaker 2>in a fight?

0:30:24.120 --> 0:30:25.120
<v Speaker 1>No, you're a team.

0:30:25.280 --> 0:30:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're a team. So it's like, how do you

0:30:26.800 --> 0:30:29.080
<v Speaker 2>get to the other side. It's actually something I learned

0:30:29.080 --> 0:30:30.880
<v Speaker 2>in the book that you gave me about j J

0:30:31.200 --> 0:30:34.160
<v Speaker 2>Loves Like one of the things that I learned is

0:30:34.200 --> 0:30:37.120
<v Speaker 2>that when you're having conflict, don't see yourself as on

0:30:37.160 --> 0:30:40.480
<v Speaker 2>opposing teams. And that's been super helpful for me. Like

0:30:40.600 --> 0:30:43.479
<v Speaker 2>I'm like the ego then has to bow down and

0:30:43.520 --> 0:30:45.640
<v Speaker 2>be like, actually, this isn't about who's going to win.

0:30:45.960 --> 0:30:48.960
<v Speaker 2>This is about how do we both win, because if

0:30:49.000 --> 0:30:50.280
<v Speaker 2>one of us wins, we both lose.

0:30:50.920 --> 0:30:51.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:30:52.240 --> 0:30:54.560
<v Speaker 1>Like, it's like this thing as well, like all right,

0:30:54.560 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 1>we've spoken about it before as well, like X. Yeah,

0:30:57.920 --> 0:31:01.400
<v Speaker 1>I think X kind of come from a place of

0:31:01.880 --> 0:31:04.840
<v Speaker 1>you've made me feel uncomfortable, but I haven't addressed it

0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:06.160
<v Speaker 1>with you, and it's manifested.

0:31:06.360 --> 0:31:06.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:31:06.760 --> 0:31:10.360
<v Speaker 1>And I that was a big reflection for me because

0:31:10.720 --> 0:31:13.600
<v Speaker 1>in past relationships, I would get the ick so easily. Yeah,

0:31:13.720 --> 0:31:15.920
<v Speaker 1>and I'd be like, how can I Why am I

0:31:15.960 --> 0:31:18.480
<v Speaker 1>not getting over this? Why do I feel like? And

0:31:18.560 --> 0:31:22.000
<v Speaker 1>it is a feeling, but it's a feeling of uncomfortableness.

0:31:22.040 --> 0:31:24.600
<v Speaker 1>And I think, like there's these little pet peeves that

0:31:24.640 --> 0:31:28.080
<v Speaker 1>you have, like if someone doesn't click their toenails, disgusting, gross,

0:31:28.120 --> 0:31:31.240
<v Speaker 1>that is ikey, But you can change that.

0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:32.640
<v Speaker 3>It's not a deal breaker.

0:31:32.800 --> 0:31:36.680
<v Speaker 1>But sometimes people God, look at me full circle moment

0:31:36.720 --> 0:31:39.160
<v Speaker 1>about the perspective of an ick when I would I

0:31:39.200 --> 0:31:40.040
<v Speaker 1>have a whole list of it?

0:31:40.160 --> 0:31:41.040
<v Speaker 3>Yes, right, this.

0:31:41.080 --> 0:31:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Is great, it's great. Yeah. I actually was asked what

0:31:44.160 --> 0:31:46.400
<v Speaker 2>my EQ was the other day of a partner. Yeah,

0:31:46.600 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 2>and I found it really hard to find one. I

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:53.320
<v Speaker 2>found it really hard to find an eke. I was

0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:55.240
<v Speaker 2>going maybe this, maybe that, maybe this, But then I

0:31:55.280 --> 0:31:55.600
<v Speaker 2>was going.

0:31:55.520 --> 0:31:57.560
<v Speaker 1>No, why are you creating it exactly?

0:31:57.600 --> 0:31:59.720
<v Speaker 2>So I was looking for what my EQ was with

0:31:59.800 --> 0:32:02.680
<v Speaker 2>at and I couldn't find it. Like one of the

0:32:02.720 --> 0:32:07.040
<v Speaker 2>things that came to mind was the lack of opinion.

0:32:07.480 --> 0:32:10.160
<v Speaker 2>But that's not an ick, you know, like when you

0:32:10.200 --> 0:32:12.760
<v Speaker 2>ask someone like their opinion and I don't give it

0:32:12.800 --> 0:32:16.400
<v Speaker 2>to you and they like surface level m like. But

0:32:16.520 --> 0:32:18.480
<v Speaker 2>I was I think I created that in my mind

0:32:18.520 --> 0:32:20.240
<v Speaker 2>as a big problem when it's like that isn't a

0:32:20.240 --> 0:32:22.600
<v Speaker 2>big problem. Who cares if they don't have a huge opinion.

0:32:22.280 --> 0:32:24.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, why do they need to?

0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:24.680
<v Speaker 2>That's right?

0:32:24.880 --> 0:32:25.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:32:25.160 --> 0:32:29.560
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, from the days of sitting in the hotel

0:32:29.600 --> 0:32:34.720
<v Speaker 2>of all LaRue creating out EQ lists, remember on TikTok, Wow,

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:35.480
<v Speaker 2>we've matured.

0:32:36.000 --> 0:32:36.920
<v Speaker 3>I know, look at us.

0:32:37.000 --> 0:32:37.960
<v Speaker 2>Go No.

0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:40.280
<v Speaker 3>I feel like this is the evolution of like.

0:32:40.480 --> 0:32:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Getting older and being more mature and then being able

0:32:44.960 --> 0:32:48.720
<v Speaker 1>to realize things. And I reached that yeah, yeah, less judgmental.

0:32:48.800 --> 0:32:52.280
<v Speaker 1>And I think we don't really teach our young generation

0:32:52.400 --> 0:32:54.720
<v Speaker 1>about these things. And I think because it's not the

0:32:54.800 --> 0:32:57.840
<v Speaker 1>time yet, like they need to come to it later.

0:32:58.120 --> 0:32:59.720
<v Speaker 1>And I think I needed to come too late. I

0:32:59.720 --> 0:33:01.200
<v Speaker 1>think and I went to New York. I think that

0:33:01.280 --> 0:33:02.800
<v Speaker 1>was a huge thing for me because I did that

0:33:02.840 --> 0:33:05.680
<v Speaker 1>for me, and I'd been doing so much stuff for

0:33:05.760 --> 0:33:07.760
<v Speaker 1>other people in the year, and I was like, no,

0:33:07.800 --> 0:33:09.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to do this for me. And I felt like,

0:33:09.840 --> 0:33:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I just it's so weird how I could come to

0:33:12.160 --> 0:33:15.400
<v Speaker 1>myself at a place that wasn't my home, you know.

0:33:15.680 --> 0:33:17.240
<v Speaker 1>And I think that's kind of me as well, Like

0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:19.760
<v Speaker 1>I make home wherever my people are, and right now

0:33:19.840 --> 0:33:24.000
<v Speaker 1>my people is mim and my life and it's her family.

0:33:25.880 --> 0:33:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I like, yeah, I just I can't describe the feeling

0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:34.280
<v Speaker 1>of like being like, well, I've just gained two moms

0:33:34.280 --> 0:33:34.640
<v Speaker 1>and two.

0:33:34.600 --> 0:33:37.200
<v Speaker 2>Dads, you know, Like it's a beautiful I know what

0:33:37.240 --> 0:33:37.880
<v Speaker 2>that feels like.

0:33:37.960 --> 0:33:40.080
<v Speaker 1>And another dad, and you know, my dad's gray and

0:33:40.120 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 1>I love him so much and like he you know,

0:33:42.560 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 1>I adopted him. He didn't adopt me, but I adopted him.

0:33:45.160 --> 0:33:48.400
<v Speaker 1>But then, you know, and I'm making these I'm healing

0:33:48.400 --> 0:33:50.720
<v Speaker 1>my other family, like you know, I took him to

0:33:50.880 --> 0:33:54.080
<v Speaker 1>Easter break. I told you this, but I hadn't seen

0:33:54.120 --> 0:33:56.720
<v Speaker 1>my stepmom for ages, and I went and saw them

0:33:56.720 --> 0:33:59.680
<v Speaker 1>and my grandparents, who have been married for fifty years.

0:33:59.680 --> 0:34:02.480
<v Speaker 1>Who are my stepmom's parents? And I'm starting to hear

0:34:02.520 --> 0:34:06.120
<v Speaker 1>those little parts of my my life, my feelings. I

0:34:06.120 --> 0:34:08.600
<v Speaker 1>don't know, because I feel like one day we're all

0:34:08.640 --> 0:34:12.040
<v Speaker 1>going to be, you know, at the wedding, and I'm

0:34:12.040 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 1>going to be like, these are all the people that

0:34:14.160 --> 0:34:16.560
<v Speaker 1>changed my life and got me to this, you know,

0:34:16.880 --> 0:34:18.640
<v Speaker 1>to be with this beautiful woman.

0:34:18.960 --> 0:34:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Ye?

0:34:19.640 --> 0:34:23.640
<v Speaker 1>God, after three months, it's kind of crazy, feel lesbian?

0:34:24.040 --> 0:34:26.520
<v Speaker 3>Well you are so bad?

0:34:26.280 --> 0:34:27.240
<v Speaker 2>Did you get married?

0:34:28.239 --> 0:34:31.040
<v Speaker 5>The producers are extremely sorry for this interruption.

0:34:31.640 --> 0:34:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh well that is exciting. I'm like, okay, that's that's.

0:34:35.800 --> 0:34:39.880
<v Speaker 5>Like, oops, it happened again. The producers are incredibly sorry

0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:43.239
<v Speaker 5>and embarrassed by this new interruption. We'll be right back

0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:45.560
<v Speaker 5>with Maddie and Brooke as soon as possible.

0:34:47.640 --> 0:34:48.839
<v Speaker 2>All right, let's wrap it there.

0:34:49.280 --> 0:34:50.160
<v Speaker 3>Do you want to wrap it there?

0:34:50.280 --> 0:34:50.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:34:50.640 --> 0:34:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to do like your wedding non negotiables? Like?

0:34:54.040 --> 0:34:54.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:57.200
<v Speaker 2>Like what is okay? I'll tell you right now.

0:34:57.320 --> 0:34:58.920
<v Speaker 3>Are you doing something blue?

0:34:59.600 --> 0:35:01.160
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm doing Are you.

0:35:01.080 --> 0:35:01.800
<v Speaker 3>Wearing a suit?

0:35:02.239 --> 0:35:02.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:35:03.120 --> 0:35:05.160
<v Speaker 1>Are you wearing a black or you're going to do

0:35:05.200 --> 0:35:06.000
<v Speaker 1>white suits?

0:35:06.239 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 2>I think that we could do white and black?

0:35:10.960 --> 0:35:13.080
<v Speaker 1>Are you getting like eloped? And then having a bit

0:35:13.120 --> 0:35:15.520
<v Speaker 1>big party or are you doing a ceremony and a reception.

0:35:16.280 --> 0:35:19.759
<v Speaker 2>I think the perfect plan and I'm going to be

0:35:19.800 --> 0:35:22.240
<v Speaker 2>doing nine percent of the planning here, but I would

0:35:22.760 --> 0:35:23.280
<v Speaker 2>I would.

0:35:23.160 --> 0:35:26.920
<v Speaker 1>Wait wait because like will Danny have like because his.

0:35:27.320 --> 0:35:29.879
<v Speaker 2>Input, but he will have input in the Columbia side

0:35:29.880 --> 0:35:32.960
<v Speaker 2>of things. I think we might have a massive wedding

0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:36.000
<v Speaker 2>celebration in Columbia and it might be in like a

0:35:36.000 --> 0:35:37.720
<v Speaker 2>farm and do a huge celebration.

0:35:37.840 --> 0:35:39.520
<v Speaker 3>Or his family is a location wedding, the.

0:35:39.680 --> 0:35:42.919
<v Speaker 2>Location wedding, but we would have two weddings, one here

0:35:42.960 --> 0:35:43.520
<v Speaker 2>and one there.

0:35:44.680 --> 0:35:45.000
<v Speaker 3>Slay.

0:35:45.360 --> 0:35:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So that's the first thing about like I guess

0:35:48.560 --> 0:35:52.600
<v Speaker 1>having like a partner who is like culturally diverse or

0:35:52.600 --> 0:35:56.319
<v Speaker 1>anything like that, because I think like weddings aren't enough,

0:35:56.480 --> 0:35:58.879
<v Speaker 1>like in mod like when do we have weddings? More

0:35:58.920 --> 0:36:00.760
<v Speaker 1>funerals and weddings us to God.

0:36:00.680 --> 0:36:03.319
<v Speaker 2>Like can somebody get married already and we can go

0:36:03.360 --> 0:36:04.560
<v Speaker 2>to a wedding? Like come on.

0:36:04.840 --> 0:36:08.080
<v Speaker 1>It's so funny because like I had my acting friends

0:36:08.080 --> 0:36:10.400
<v Speaker 1>come to the book launch on Saturday and we're all

0:36:10.440 --> 0:36:12.960
<v Speaker 1>talking and I was like, guys, I'm really excited that

0:36:13.040 --> 0:36:15.160
<v Speaker 1>we all just became so close blah, blah blah, you know,

0:36:15.200 --> 0:36:17.520
<v Speaker 1>as you do in friend groups, like because some people

0:36:17.680 --> 0:36:19.720
<v Speaker 1>just grow up with each other from high school and

0:36:19.400 --> 0:36:21.440
<v Speaker 1>they and everyone sort of gets married and has children

0:36:21.440 --> 0:36:22.040
<v Speaker 1>at the same time.

0:36:22.080 --> 0:36:23.160
<v Speaker 3>Like I don't have that.

0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:26.479
<v Speaker 1>But like I feel like I said, oh, I can't

0:36:26.480 --> 0:36:28.480
<v Speaker 1>wait for you know, one of us actually to get

0:36:28.560 --> 0:36:30.480
<v Speaker 1>married and we can all be at each other's weddings.

0:36:30.960 --> 0:36:32.000
<v Speaker 3>And then they just looked at.

0:36:33.480 --> 0:36:36.160
<v Speaker 1>Girl. Yeah, I was like, guys three months and then

0:36:36.200 --> 0:36:37.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm like the late little kid.

0:36:38.080 --> 0:36:39.879
<v Speaker 2>Well, look, love is a is a big thing.

0:36:40.560 --> 0:36:43.080
<v Speaker 1>We love love, love love.

0:36:43.239 --> 0:36:44.759
<v Speaker 2>But I'm excited for you.

0:36:44.960 --> 0:36:47.719
<v Speaker 1>I love for your journey with Surrogancy. It's going to

0:36:47.760 --> 0:36:50.000
<v Speaker 1>be so beautiful. I can't wait to be Auntie Brooke

0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:52.560
<v Speaker 1>and I know I'm going to be a heart I

0:36:52.560 --> 0:36:55.759
<v Speaker 1>mean with other people who's like being an auntie it

0:36:55.800 --> 0:36:58.000
<v Speaker 1>is like the coolest thing, like being like here, have

0:36:58.120 --> 0:36:58.560
<v Speaker 1>them back.

0:37:00.400 --> 0:37:02.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be such a helicopter parent in the beginning.

0:37:02.400 --> 0:37:04.959
<v Speaker 2>I just know this about myself, Like that's not good,

0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I know, but I'm gonna have to work on it.

0:37:07.640 --> 0:37:09.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to have that kid in therapy at age too.

0:37:10.800 --> 0:37:13.440
<v Speaker 1>Maybe we should have like I mean, there's no manual

0:37:13.480 --> 0:37:14.560
<v Speaker 1>to parenting is there?

0:37:14.600 --> 0:37:16.080
<v Speaker 3>Like we all fuck it up?

0:37:16.120 --> 0:37:16.440
<v Speaker 1>We all?

0:37:16.640 --> 0:37:20.319
<v Speaker 2>I mean, do you think of the name manual e manual? No,

0:37:20.480 --> 0:37:25.000
<v Speaker 2>just manual? M A and you e l manual because

0:37:25.000 --> 0:37:29.440
<v Speaker 2>it's Maddie and Daniel or is that just lame? I

0:37:29.480 --> 0:37:31.520
<v Speaker 2>don't Manuel Manuel Manuel?

0:37:31.719 --> 0:37:34.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Manuel's nice Manuel.

0:37:34.680 --> 0:37:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Manual car not a manual car. No, it's a you

0:37:38.280 --> 0:37:39.680
<v Speaker 2>eat el trust you.

0:37:39.560 --> 0:37:43.359
<v Speaker 1>To put manual because he's in like I like it

0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:43.839
<v Speaker 1>but I do.

0:37:44.040 --> 0:37:49.080
<v Speaker 2>But it's growing up and a girl Amelia a m

0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:49.680
<v Speaker 2>no e.

0:37:50.239 --> 0:37:52.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah that's nice.

0:37:52.400 --> 0:37:54.080
<v Speaker 2>That's very like Colombian.

0:37:54.320 --> 0:37:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Well that's all we have time for today. Guys,

0:37:56.640 --> 0:37:58.879
<v Speaker 1>thanks so much for listening, because like, we haven't given

0:37:58.920 --> 0:38:00.560
<v Speaker 1>you much of a life update for a while, and

0:38:00.640 --> 0:38:01.720
<v Speaker 1>now that's right, we haven't.

0:38:01.800 --> 0:38:02.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, what's going on.

0:38:02.920 --> 0:38:05.680
<v Speaker 1>We've been interviewing, having some really good guests on. But

0:38:05.880 --> 0:38:08.400
<v Speaker 1>it's nice to have a little unpark with you, guys.

0:38:08.560 --> 0:38:10.400
<v Speaker 1>Maddie's leaving us soon, so it's just going to be

0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:11.759
<v Speaker 1>you and I soon, that's right.

0:38:11.800 --> 0:38:14.520
<v Speaker 2>Actually, while this is out, I'm probably on the plane

0:38:14.840 --> 0:38:17.480
<v Speaker 2>you are, I mean Europe. You'll be seeing my update

0:38:17.600 --> 0:38:19.920
<v Speaker 2>on social media. But if you want to hear anything,

0:38:19.920 --> 0:38:21.520
<v Speaker 2>from us, or you want us to cover anything on

0:38:21.560 --> 0:38:23.839
<v Speaker 2>the pod, make sure you hit us up. On social media.

0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:25.600
<v Speaker 2>You can find Brook at Brook dot bloat and me

0:38:25.800 --> 0:38:30.160
<v Speaker 2>at It's Maattie Meals and follow my European journey on socials.

0:38:30.960 --> 0:38:33.359
<v Speaker 2>But if you want to hear other podcasts as well,

0:38:33.400 --> 0:38:35.040
<v Speaker 2>you can check out and Over podcast Official.

0:38:35.400 --> 0:38:40.960
<v Speaker 1>See you guys next week. Bye,