Speaker 1: Okay, let's go.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's lucky. It's a lucky lucky doug it time.
Speaker 2: Woofle fellow everyone, it's melon monty.
Speaker 1: Yes, love when there's an animal component.
Speaker 2: Hey, there's a koala being on one of our main
Speaker 2: roads recently, so we've got signs up. Koala was crossing
Speaker 2: and then we found We saw him up the top
Speaker 2: of a tree the other day and Odie was giddy, giddy, giddy.
Speaker 2: We had to pull over the car in the rain
Speaker 2: and go and look at this koala all curled up.
Speaker 2: Oh so baby Koala, So baby Koala.
Speaker 1: You know that's a beautiful thing about little kids. They
Speaker 1: force you to be present.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yeah, it made me excited to look
Speaker 2: up at this Koala up there. It was very cute. Anyway,
Speaker 2: So lucky dip today. Everyone, it's me doing this. Okay.
Speaker 2: So this one's like kind of a semi serious one,
Speaker 2: but I thought, okay, I'm going to do it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because on Insta I saw that a licensed counselor had
Speaker 2: five questions to ask you about your partner if you
Speaker 2: were questioning your relationship with your partner, like it's your
Speaker 2: happy sort of no, yeah, I guess if you're unsure
Speaker 2: or or five questions you ask yourself to go, Okay,
Speaker 2: is this the relationship I meant to be in? And
Speaker 2: that this because if you answer no to any of them,
Speaker 2: it's a pretty big fault in your relationship if you
Speaker 2: ask me, oh shit. So they're kind of five solid
Speaker 2: questions to go, right, is this the relationship for me?
Speaker 2: So I'm going to give them to you.
Speaker 1: Okay, I feel nervous.
Speaker 2: So the first question is if someone told you that
Speaker 2: you are a lot like your partner, would you take
Speaker 2: this to be a compliment.
Speaker 1: In some regards I would, In others, I wouldn't a
Speaker 1: love I think that there are traits in each other,
Speaker 1: especially if you've been together for a long time. You
Speaker 1: can see each other's strengths, but you see each other's
Speaker 1: weaknesses and faults too. My husband is loyal and beautiful
Speaker 1: and caring, like he's an amazing man, but he's very
Speaker 1: black and white. If he believes this, he believes it,
Speaker 1: it's done.
Speaker 2: It's frustrating.
Speaker 1: It's frustrating, you know, like that like idea of you know,
Speaker 1: people say growth mindset or a fixed mindset. He's a
Speaker 1: very fixed mindset.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so yeah, okay, so, and I reckon It
Speaker 2: all depends the inflection, like you just like your husband
Speaker 2: or so much like yours, you know what I mean? Yes, Yes,
Speaker 2: Sam is hands down a better human out of the
Speaker 2: two of us, Like he's can be the life of
Speaker 2: the party, he's loyal, he's fine, he's the rock everyone
Speaker 2: goes to. So I could only take it as a
Speaker 2: compliment if he was told he was like me, I
Speaker 2: don't need.
Speaker 1: But again, there are opposite sides too, because if someone
Speaker 1: said to him, oh god, you remind me of Katie
Speaker 1: right now, he would probably take that as and remember,
Speaker 1: these are people we're not seeing you in your home environment, right, Yes,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm fun. I'm coming out with the
Speaker 1: jokes on whatever time.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, so that one, yes, all right. The second question,
Speaker 2: are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?
Speaker 1: Oh, it's so like again, that's like a romantic question
Speaker 1: you don't see and think about so often.
Speaker 2: But I'm hands down like less lonely having him. But
Speaker 2: sometimes you feel lonely in your relationship.
Speaker 1: So but of course you do because one esther perel
Speaker 1: said this, and it's true. You can't expect one person
Speaker 1: to do everything.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, But yes, so I guess sometimes you can
Speaker 2: feel a bit lonely when you're on separate pages, but
Speaker 2: overall I feel obviously less lonely having him.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I can't imagine no go out them.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel fulfilled, other times I feel completely unfulfilled,
Speaker 2: but I don't. Again, I don't think it's just him.
Speaker 2: It's everything that's going on, Like, am I filled in
Speaker 2: with the kids? Work? Like everything like that?
Speaker 1: Because your partner in life, when you've been together for
Speaker 1: a long time, you're going through kids and all that,
Speaker 1: it gets fucking boring and monotonous and stuff. So you
Speaker 1: can also.
Speaker 2: Get soone meshed, do you know what I mean? Like that,
Speaker 2: it's hard to go, well, we are us So I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know, Okay.
Speaker 2: The third one, are you in love with who your
Speaker 2: partner is as a whole or are you only in
Speaker 2: love with their good side, their potential or the idea
Speaker 2: of them?
Speaker 1: That is again really hard because you love them, but
Speaker 1: naturally there are things about them you don't like, And I.
Speaker 2: Suppose I do think these are probably questions for more
Speaker 2: when you're starting out a relationship, maybe, and if you're
Speaker 2: unsure because the thing is that a lot of people
Speaker 2: are with somebody through because of the potential of their partner,
Speaker 2: Like how many times have you heard but if you
Speaker 2: just could do this, it will be great. So you
Speaker 2: hang in there for the potential of the partner as
Speaker 2: opposed to who are they right now? Is that the
Speaker 2: person that you want to be with? Are you fulfilled
Speaker 2: being with that person or are you in love with
Speaker 2: the idea of what that person could be but it's
Speaker 2: just your idea?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. There's like, I think
Speaker 1: there's fundamental things that you have to look at in
Speaker 1: a partner, and if they aren't giving you one of
Speaker 1: those things, like if you're with someone in the early
Speaker 1: days and let's say, for example, they're rude to wait stuff,
Speaker 1: or you know, they say I hate kids and you
Speaker 1: really want kids, they're things you have to look at because.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or if they're trying to kick some shit habit
Speaker 2: and you're like, when they get rid of that habit,
Speaker 2: it will be okay, or you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: it's like that's the possibility of them, that's not the
Speaker 2: reality of them. That's rightly, I think it's a good
Speaker 2: one to ask.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: The fourth one, are you a would be unapologetically yourself
Speaker 2: or do you feel the need to show up differently
Speaker 2: to please your partner?
Speaker 1: Absolutely myself, But I do find myself, even like next month,
Speaker 1: We've been together for twenty six years, I still find
Speaker 1: myself having to explain in a way, like you know,
Speaker 1: when I and that's more about me if I say
Speaker 1: something or do something that is not the nicest because
Speaker 1: I shoot off my mouth and then think later. I
Speaker 1: do have to always be like, but, oh, but I
Speaker 1: didn't mean that or whatever, Like I over explain a
Speaker 1: lot sometimes yes, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but I'm definitely myself. But I also sometimes
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't totally be myself right now in
Speaker 2: terms of if I'm feeling really negative or something like that,
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's such a drain. So sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 2: will not just if I'm like, God, you've been like
Speaker 2: this for a while now, this is really draining on here,
Speaker 2: I will alter myself to some extent.
Speaker 1: That's you being mindful of his whatever. But I do
Speaker 1: think if people are honest with themselves, which is probably
Speaker 1: why therapy is always a good idea, there are things
Speaker 1: about each other that you don't like or that bother
Speaker 1: you or whatever, and you overlook them or whatever. You
Speaker 1: can't be honest about everything. You can't do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, you can't be honest about absolutely everything. Like imagine
Speaker 2: he looks like a pile of shit or something, and
Speaker 2: he thinks he looks all right, I'm not gonna go
Speaker 2: you look really terrible. Oh do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say that.
Speaker 1: No, although he fucking insists. It pisces me off so much.
Speaker 1: He like, he doesn't have any sort of ego about
Speaker 1: like how he looks and whatever. He's just not that person, right,
Speaker 1: whereas I am the opposite. Yes, and he like, where's
Speaker 1: tracks pants? Like when we go to Lucas footy game whatever,
Speaker 1: or even work he's got dark work pants. Anywhere's white socks?
Speaker 1: Every time I take photos and then send them to
Speaker 1: him and go, look out, fucking stupid that looks Why
Speaker 1: are you wearing good white socks? Because he's got like
Speaker 1: he'll wear black runners. It pisces me off.
Speaker 2: That is so funny. Isn't that stupid? I would never
Speaker 2: recogniz I wouldn't even notice it. Okay, and lucky, last,
Speaker 2: this one is a good one for all of us
Speaker 2: to question, whether you've been in a relationship for a
Speaker 2: long time or not, would you want your future or
Speaker 2: imagine child to date someone like your partner. Mine is
Speaker 2: hands down yes, Yes, that's where I'm like, that's almost
Speaker 2: the most important one, especially if you do have children
Speaker 2: and you're like, would I want this for my kids?
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I would.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, if your person is fundamentally a good person,
Speaker 1: that's what you want, and then you can own out
Speaker 1: all the other stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can olean out of the white sox.
Speaker 1: It's important when you're raising kid that you want a
Speaker 1: good role model for your sons and daughters and stuff too.
Speaker 1: In a man.
Speaker 2: Totally all right, big legends. Just a short one today,
Speaker 2: But pondre on those questions, those five questions. Ask your
Speaker 2: friend if they're in a shit relationship. Go, I've got
Speaker 2: these five questions for you as you need.
Speaker 1: We think your partner's a real fucking asshole.
Speaker 2: Yeah or just patronizingly. I'm just gonna ask you five
Speaker 2: questions and let me know your answers. Hey, thank you
Speaker 2: for listening to our patrons. Thank you. Every second week
Speaker 2: we give you an extra podcast over there. If you
Speaker 2: grab a membership Patreon dot com, forward La Chantelle online
Speaker 2: and we'll be chatting to you soon.
Speaker 1: Love Nes