Speaker 1: Apoday production.
Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome
Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level
Speaker 2: up together.
Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let.
Speaker 2: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and glow.
Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and
Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. Hello everybody, welcome back.
Speaker 1: And today we're talking about just slowing it right down.
Speaker 1: This has been so relevant for both Kiara and I
Speaker 1: feel like we're on very similar paths, which is really
Speaker 1: nice to be surrounded by women who just get it.
Speaker 1: And we're trying to listen more, read more, be around
Speaker 1: more beautiful feminine energies and just women that really embody
Speaker 1: their feminine essence and are slowing down and nurturing themselves
Speaker 1: and are open and magnetic, and that's what we're wanting
Speaker 1: more of. So we've really been focusing on it and
Speaker 1: it's been so beautiful and so like, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Just it's an exciting journey too.
Speaker 1: It's really exciting, but it's also there's been moments of
Speaker 1: discomfort as I like change and navigate through. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's been really cool and excited to see where we
Speaker 1: both are in six months time and how we're showing
Speaker 1: up and how we're doing things differently. So we thought
Speaker 1: we'd talk about it today because anytime you talk about
Speaker 1: it on socials or I mentioned little things on socials,
Speaker 1: like our dms explode with wanting more, which shows us
Speaker 1: that so many women are struggling with this. And you know,
Speaker 1: for so long we were pushing for equal rights and
Speaker 1: for women to be empowered and like we can lead
Speaker 1: the way and we can be directors and CEOs and
Speaker 1: all this stuff, which is so empowering and so cool,
Speaker 1: but also we're still mums, we're still managing household, we're
Speaker 1: still carrying all it and wearing all these hats fucking burn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's so praised and celebrated, but then like, at
Speaker 1: what cost the cost of our energy, the cost of
Speaker 1: our relationships, the cost of our house, our nervous system,
Speaker 1: our sleep, skin, at dijustive issues like everything that we
Speaker 1: value is because we're so fucking busy. Yeah, we need
Speaker 1: to just put a pause for a moment and take
Speaker 1: a breath. But it's hard because now we're all kind
Speaker 1: of stuck in these ruts.
Speaker 2: You've committed to things, and you're if you really want
Speaker 2: to change your life, you're having to make drastic moves.
Speaker 1: Yes, we've all bitten off a little bit more than
Speaker 1: what we can do. Yeah, and sometimes it takes a
Speaker 1: big health scare or something to happen to make us go, oh,
Speaker 1: this does not feel good anymore. And then it's also
Speaker 1: having that realization, Like I remember realizing like I don't
Speaker 1: want to do this business anymore. But it's like, but
Speaker 1: I'm stuck. How do I get out of this? I've
Speaker 1: committed to this. I feel like I owe my audience
Speaker 1: to keep going. I feel like I own my staff
Speaker 1: members to keep going. I owe it to myself. I
Speaker 1: want to show my kids like you can do all
Speaker 1: the things. Yeah, but at what costs?
Speaker 2: Isn't it amazing for your kids to see you actually
Speaker 2: listen to your heart intuition. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I loved having in this conversation with Taj about closing
Speaker 1: Baseline because he was even like, but why, Mom, that's
Speaker 1: your business. It makes money. I was like, yeah, it does, honey,
Speaker 1: it does, but I don't enjoy it anymore. And I
Speaker 1: hope you know right now you want to be a
Speaker 1: police officer. If you go and study and get qualified
Speaker 1: and you're a police officer for six months and you go,
Speaker 1: why don't mum, I don't like this? Cool, Go be
Speaker 1: a painter, you know, whatever you want to do. I
Speaker 1: want you to try different things. And when you're twenty
Speaker 1: to twenty five, you might do one job, and then
Speaker 1: you know, twenty six to twenty eight, you might do
Speaker 1: another job. Like whatever, I just go with the flow,
Speaker 1: do it, set your heart and fire, try new things.
Speaker 1: Never think that you just have to stay in one
Speaker 1: box and remain as you are. Yeah, which is really cool.
Speaker 2: It's a cool conversation, really cool conversation, an important one
Speaker 2: for us to have in this day and age, and
Speaker 2: also this whole movement of us wanting to slow down,
Speaker 2: both having daughters as well, like I don't want Tarlet
Speaker 2: to put on a masculine shield and mask from an
Speaker 2: early age, and like feel that she needs to be
Speaker 2: moving the pace that women are these days, because it's
Speaker 2: exhausting and it doesn't feel good. It's not where our
Speaker 2: natural energy is, you know, a natural feminine we are
Speaker 2: slow and we receive, and we're flowy, and we're creative
Speaker 2: and we're nurturing. We can't embody all of that when
Speaker 2: we're running at the pace that we are. We cannot
Speaker 2: be that. When we're hustling, going, we're goal orientating. We're
Speaker 2: so stuck in our head.
Speaker 1: When we're in our head, we're not in our body,
Speaker 1: and then our body can't relax and flow. Then we
Speaker 1: can't surrender, Then we can't receive. Then we build resentment
Speaker 1: for the masculine as well. And the polarity is just
Speaker 1: like head butting. It's a downward spiral. But we didn't
Speaker 1: see it until we kind of pull ourselves out and
Speaker 1: go ah.
Speaker 2: I said to Ashi, I feel like a big thing
Speaker 2: for us too with starting this journey was actually eateen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because I started reading those feminine energy books. So I
Speaker 2: feel like for us and just being in the wavelength
Speaker 2: of being able to completely tune in slow down, there'd
Speaker 2: be no rush is having four days of life really
Speaker 2: going at your body's pace. Yes, it was like, how
Speaker 2: the hell can I incorporate this more into my life,
Speaker 2: because man, I've missed actually like feeling myself, Like you
Speaker 2: get so busy you don't even check in with yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. The pace we're running at, it's like we
Speaker 1: were running a marathon, running at the pace of your
Speaker 1: not even live line.
Speaker 2: You're not living for you, No, you're living for fucking
Speaker 2: everything else but yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The rate that we're running at, our mind, our
Speaker 1: body just is not keeping up, but we're forcing it to. Hence,
Speaker 1: while we feel so burnt out, exhausted, stressed, resentful, digestive
Speaker 1: issues like whatever's going on. I think if we actually
Speaker 1: slowed down and when at the pace of our body,
Speaker 1: not our minds, so much of our issues and problems
Speaker 1: would be resolved so quickly. Like I don't know about you,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I'm just scratching this serve. It's
Speaker 1: like I'm just at the beginning of my journey and
Speaker 1: I've already learned so much and incorporated so much and
Speaker 1: felt so different. But I can't wait for the next
Speaker 1: six months. Yeah, exciting, so cool.
Speaker 2: Something else that I've really noticed as well, that I've
Speaker 2: focused on, which I feel like I've noticed it in
Speaker 2: you too, is my talking pace.
Speaker 1: As we said, that's a previous episode.
Speaker 2: But I feel like it's something I've consciously been doing.
Speaker 2: Rather than like just being in my head and splurting
Speaker 2: out everything I'm thinking, I'm actually taking a second to
Speaker 2: be like, well, how does that feel? How do I
Speaker 2: want to respond, rather than like just reacting and saying
Speaker 2: every little thing that's coming to my mind. So that's
Speaker 2: been a big one for me that I feel like
Speaker 2: has been really cool and been a bit more of
Speaker 2: a challenge because we are fast talkers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're talking to water.
Speaker 2: I've noticed a walking pace, babe. This is another thing
Speaker 2: that's cool because I can see these things in you
Speaker 2: as well. Like when we came up here, I think
Speaker 2: it was a couple times ago. We're walking somewhere we're
Speaker 2: going to like dinner, and I remember I had like
Speaker 2: high heels on and I'm like just cruising.
Speaker 1: And You're like, I'm I trying to keep up with you,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm a lot taller than you,
Speaker 1: remember to my strips, a lot larger than your spend
Speaker 1: this trip. You've just been like cruiser.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing is it also is just the
Speaker 2: way you sh show up and it doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be all the big things.
Speaker 1: It can also be all the little things.
Speaker 2: How are you walking from place to place? Are you
Speaker 2: rushing and frantic and grabbing this and grabbing that and
Speaker 2: blah blah blah, Or are you like I can take
Speaker 2: five extra seconds to get somewhere and actually be in
Speaker 2: my body, Yeah, and not in my head.
Speaker 1: I caught myself the other day grocery shop. I think
Speaker 1: I was telling you on the way up here, and
Speaker 1: I was rushing around getting the groceries, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I just stopped in the middle of grocery store and
Speaker 1: I was like, soe down, Sis, you don't have to
Speaker 1: keep rushing through, take your time. And I'm having this
Speaker 1: internal conversation, like you love grocery shopping, You love checking
Speaker 1: out the new foods and going down each aisle. Like
Speaker 1: grocery shopping for me is really therapeutic. I love it.
Speaker 1: So I took my sweet ass time walking through the aisles.
Speaker 2: Checking the ingredients.
Speaker 1: Yeah, checking everything out, just like I didn't need to
Speaker 1: rush back. No, so he's coming home with the kids.
Speaker 1: Why am I rushing?
Speaker 2: But that's time differends. This is the thing, like we
Speaker 2: think if you rush, you're going to actually do something
Speaker 2: so much faster. But it's like if you go at
Speaker 2: a bit of a slower pace, it might add an
Speaker 2: extra five or ten minutes to the whole trip.
Speaker 1: Like it's not much, yeah, is it. It's just the
Speaker 1: experience of it making it more slow, more enjoyable, and
Speaker 1: every single day too, Like it's those micro moments you're
Speaker 1: missing if you're rushing that actually can be really enjoyable,
Speaker 1: like cooking your dinner, putting the creams on your body,
Speaker 1: doing your skin care, taking a slower shower, like feeling
Speaker 1: the fabric of the pajamas that you're putting on. Just
Speaker 1: like taking more slow moments with your kids. Yeah, looking
Speaker 1: at the ingredients of the shopping list, like just breathing
Speaker 1: and going at the pace of your body, not your mind.
Speaker 1: That's the big takeaway I think too.
Speaker 2: By slowing down, I feel like I've been loving on
Speaker 2: myself more so when I'm putting like my skin care
Speaker 2: on rather than just like slopping wo whack, she's done
Speaker 2: for the day, actually taking time and like massaging it
Speaker 2: so it actually feels nice. It feels like an experience.
Speaker 2: It's doing the exact same task, but making something. I
Speaker 2: guess it's kind of a little bit like romanticizing your life.
Speaker 1: I feel it was like a trend, but it's actually
Speaker 1: so true. That's it.
Speaker 2: It's like massaging the stuff into your skin, taking your time,
Speaker 2: appreciating all the things about yourself, and you really feel
Speaker 2: like you get just so much more connected and in
Speaker 2: touch with yourself, and it's a really good way to
Speaker 2: show yourself self love as well.
Speaker 1: I saw a stat the other day and was talking
Speaker 1: about kids that are more likely to have anxious tendencies
Speaker 1: can also be stemmed from parents that are always in
Speaker 1: a rush, because it puts their little bodies in flight
Speaker 1: or flight instead of them just like going with the
Speaker 1: flow and going at a nice pace that feels good
Speaker 1: for their body. You like rushing them along, that energy
Speaker 1: and that intensity like freezes their body and like, over time,
Speaker 1: you can see how that makes them anxious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're anxious.
Speaker 1: Oh exactly, carry up, Come on, you can't spend that
Speaker 1: long quickly. Yeah, So when we're moving so fast, your
Speaker 1: body is really really tense, and that means your energy
Speaker 1: is also tense. So then your kids feel that and
Speaker 1: then we continue the cycle of their not being able
Speaker 1: to soften and feel safe.
Speaker 2: So true, right, definitely.
Speaker 1: They can start to feel anxious or on fight or flight,
Speaker 1: or have trouble sitting still and being able to sit
Speaker 1: with their own feelings because they're always on the go.
Speaker 1: So it's I have to ask to break these cycles
Speaker 1: and just do it differently. And the main thing that
Speaker 1: I would try to focus on is just stop during
Speaker 1: the day and just get your breath back. We forget
Speaker 1: to breathe. And this is something I've spoken about for
Speaker 1: a long time, Like a lot of people think they
Speaker 1: don't have time to meditate or do breath work. Call
Speaker 1: I get it. We're all busy in the micro moments,
Speaker 1: whether it's when you're doing a Wii, when you're at
Speaker 1: the grocery store waiting in line, when you know, just
Speaker 1: the first thing you do when you wake up, just
Speaker 1: sit at the end of your bed and just take
Speaker 1: ten intentional slow breaths in the sparless morning while you're
Speaker 1: editing your real I just took five big breaths. It
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to look
Speaker 1: a certain way. You don't have to be in a
Speaker 1: corner meditating like a monk. Like you can literally just
Speaker 1: take micro moments where you stop and breathe, and that's
Speaker 1: something I've been really trying to incorporate whenever I can.
Speaker 1: I have a moment. Even coming back from Eden, I
Speaker 1: haven't been doing the twenty minute meditations in my car,
Speaker 1: but I say to myself, even if you've just got
Speaker 1: time for five minutes, and sometimes I'll just put on
Speaker 1: relaxing music and I'm not even taking massive breasts, but
Speaker 1: I'm just closing my eyes and being still. Being still
Speaker 1: allows your body to rest. And the more we carry
Speaker 1: that energy, and the more our kids see that as well,
Speaker 1: that becomes their normal. I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: I don't want my kids to feel like they always
Speaker 1: need to rush and be achieving and being busy and
Speaker 1: not sitting and listening to their body, listen to how
Speaker 1: they feel, because when you also do that too, you
Speaker 1: actually get time to get clarity on what you actually want.
Speaker 1: When you're rushing, you don't know, you're just doing anything.
Speaker 1: You're doing the things you've always done, regardless if it
Speaker 1: feels good or not, and even if it doesn't feel good,
Speaker 1: you're not asking yourself, so you just keep doing the
Speaker 1: same shit, getting the same result, and you wonder when
Speaker 1: you end up feeling burnt out.
Speaker 2: Definitely.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I also heard that when we experience traumates from something
Speaker 2: happening too fast, too too quickly, or feeling like it's
Speaker 2: too much. And what happens is when we're constantly rushing
Speaker 2: through life, we're not regulated. We're actually almost like retraumatizing ourself.
Speaker 2: Feel like, put yourself in the same experience, the same
Speaker 2: experience again. So by slowing right down as well and
Speaker 2: regulating our nervous system. I can't even start to explain
Speaker 2: how nice it feels to have a more regulated nervous
Speaker 2: system when you wake up each morning.
Speaker 1: And each time you do that, you are then rewiring
Speaker 1: your brain to know and to tell your body it's safe.
Speaker 1: And the more experiences you have of safety, the more
Speaker 1: overall you're healing.
Speaker 2: Within yourself, getting in touch with yourself, checking in with yourself,
Speaker 2: being still being slow, giving yourself like the love it needs.
Speaker 2: Like it's just crazy that we live at such a
Speaker 2: frantic pace. I feel like so many of my friends
Speaker 2: when I chat to them and have this conversation like,
Speaker 2: when was the last time you like just stopped and
Speaker 2: checked in with yourself?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I can't even remember because it's celebrated to
Speaker 1: be busy. Yeah, the busy hustlegirl era is over or
Speaker 1: it's coming to an end. I really feel like it is,
Speaker 1: and I'm really excited for the women of the next generation.
Speaker 1: So I think it's up to us. But it's hard
Speaker 1: because we've been living in it for so long. We
Speaker 1: really have. But like we had that conversation with Brad,
Speaker 1: like I won't go over again and go listen to
Speaker 1: the episode. Basically I got a pushback comment that was, like,
Speaker 1: you've glorified the hustle, you know, and maybe maybe some
Speaker 1: people have interpretated like that, but there's different seasons of
Speaker 1: your life. And I don't regret any of that because
Speaker 1: it felt good for me until it didn't feel good,
Speaker 1: and then when it didn't feel good, I had patterns.
Speaker 1: And it's only now that I've actually like taken a
Speaker 1: step back and going oh and reflected and seeing what's happening.
Speaker 1: And now I'm creating the change. And you're all going
Speaker 1: to go through that, Like there might be someone that's
Speaker 1: twenty two listening to this right now and you do
Speaker 1: not relate at all you were in your Like I've
Speaker 1: got a girlfriend at the moment. She's twenty seven. She's
Speaker 1: a life coach, and I talked about all of this,
Speaker 1: but she's in a completely different area. She's got no kid,
Speaker 1: she's in a hustle stage. She is building her business,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, go girl, But she's also like, I'm
Speaker 1: super aware that I also want to be taken care of.
Speaker 1: I also want to nurture, you know, my man and
Speaker 1: my family, and you know when that happens. So whatever
Speaker 1: is feeling good for you right now. But your work
Speaker 1: and your hustle can still be feminine and slow, definitely,
Speaker 1: And that's what I wish I learned earlier, is to
Speaker 1: be able to do all the things, because being femine
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you can't work and have goals and run
Speaker 1: a business. It's making that work more slow, from your heart,
Speaker 1: more intentional that will keep you in your feminine essence.
Speaker 2: Definitely.
Speaker 1: That's tricky. I don't actually know how to do that yet.
Speaker 1: Like that's what I'm learning, But I think our work too.
Speaker 1: We were having this conversation as well. Running Baseline was
Speaker 1: very masculine. Grow and Glow is so fat, so feminine.
Speaker 2: We get to like talk with people, we get to
Speaker 2: be around to help community.
Speaker 1: Get to nurture community connection. We can take our own pace.
Speaker 1: There's no pressure, there's no deadlines. No, there's structure around it,
Speaker 1: but it's such flowy structure it is, and that's why
Speaker 1: it feels so nice. It never feels exhausting or hard
Speaker 1: or I don't know. It's just such a different feeling.
Speaker 1: And it's been so cool since closing that to see
Speaker 1: how different it was and be like, oh, I can
Speaker 1: see how I don't ever want to go back to that.
Speaker 1: I probably do more work, but I want more of
Speaker 1: this flowy, beautiful work that feels really good to my
Speaker 1: heart and my body.
Speaker 2: And even like you know, when you were doing Baseline before, yeah,
Speaker 2: Grow and Globe, probably the energy that you were giving
Speaker 2: all areas of your life was more that energy because
Speaker 2: that was bringing with that energy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Whereas when you let go of those things, then you
Speaker 2: can bring a beautiful energy into everything else.
Speaker 1: It feels different to do the work, and even as
Speaker 1: a parent, like it feels so different to parent in
Speaker 1: my masculine, to parent in my feminine, and parenting can
Speaker 1: be very masculine. It can be very structured and routine,
Speaker 1: and you're keeping a human alive that requires your brain
Speaker 1: being on. But when you're coming from your feminine it's
Speaker 1: so nurturing and soft and patient and playful, playful, and
Speaker 1: you can see the tone and the energy that you
Speaker 1: bring to a room. You can see how much that
Speaker 1: your kids feel that definitely, it's so beautiful.
Speaker 2: I'm saying to Ashy that, like, since I've been really
Speaker 2: leaning into and focusing on this work, Kurt says to
Speaker 2: me in the morning, is like when you come down
Speaker 2: stairs now, he goes, you just bring this calm energy
Speaker 2: with you. And I'm like, yes, because it's not every day.
Speaker 2: You know, we have our off days and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't have my calm energy today, but I can
Speaker 2: feel the difference. You know, Ashley and I aren't here
Speaker 2: and we aren't perfect. It's a process, and that's the
Speaker 2: exciting part is it's a journey for us to go
Speaker 2: on and to try to embody more of and listen
Speaker 2: to our intuition more and get more in touch with ourselves.
Speaker 2: And you know, this is the fun part of life
Speaker 2: is discovering these different layers to us.
Speaker 1: And we are talking about this as we're going through it,
Speaker 1: so like we are not keep saying that I want
Speaker 1: to keep saying that out loud, that I'm at the
Speaker 1: start of this journey, like I'm just scratching the service,
Speaker 1: the service, and I can't wait to take you guys
Speaker 1: along this journey with us as we learn and grow.
Speaker 1: And we were also reflecting on an episode that we did, yes,
Speaker 1: only a couple of months ago, and this goes to
Speaker 1: show how much can change in a small amount of time.
Speaker 1: As we were doing episode, it was about Sky Wheatley
Speaker 1: and just like wearing all the hats, and we were like, wow,
Speaker 1: it's incredible. She does it also well and like so inspiring.
Speaker 1: But if you look on a social she's having so
Speaker 1: many like hard times and breakdowns. And I'm saying this
Speaker 1: out loud because she's spoken about on a social media
Speaker 1: so obviously you know she's happy to talk about it.
Speaker 1: But so many women are juggling and wearing all the
Speaker 1: hats at the cost of their energy and feeling burnt
Speaker 1: out and not thriving. They're literally surviving each day, definitely,
Speaker 1: and that is not a way that I want to
Speaker 1: live anymore. No done that, yeah no more, no, no
Speaker 1: thank you.
Speaker 2: How much better does it feel to be living this way?
Speaker 1: So much better. And I felt like too, when you're
Speaker 1: wearing all the hats, like how much of those hats
Speaker 1: that you're actually doing well? Like, yes, I was juggling lots,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I could only give them each
Speaker 1: twenty percent of my actual proper energy and efforts. So
Speaker 1: it was a half past effort definitely, and a half
Speaker 1: last result.
Speaker 2: And I want to go back as well. When we're
Speaker 2: talking before about us starting this journey and being on
Speaker 2: this journey, I think as well, sometimes people look at
Speaker 2: other people when they're doing certain things and feel like
Speaker 2: they're perfect. No matter how amazingly great someone is, they
Speaker 2: could have done all of the work. We're all still
Speaker 2: human beings and we're all still gonna fall off or
Speaker 2: wheel around, or even when we're chatting to Brad about
Speaker 2: you know, how he's wrong about his car on the
Speaker 2: road and how it like pulls you back in if
Speaker 2: you guys have one of those cars, and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you go off track, and yeah, I just wanted to
Speaker 2: say as well, like that is completely okay and part
Speaker 2: of the journey.
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. But it's just having that self awareness
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, interesting, that's still there, Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: let's rain it back in. And I'll notice myself too,
Speaker 1: Like if I'm busy on my phone working whatever, and
Speaker 1: I get agitated with the kids and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: hang on a second, no, I'm not doing that anymore.
Speaker 1: Take a big breath, get back in my body. Who's
Speaker 1: the mum that I want to be? Okay, let's go.
Speaker 2: One other thing that I really want to say as well,
Speaker 2: is like, what are these outcomes all worth? If we
Speaker 2: are feeling overwhelmed and stressed? So you know, all these
Speaker 2: things that everyone is doing, right, these businesses that all
Speaker 2: this money that you're making, it's like, yeah, that's all great,
Speaker 2: but you're spending it and you're miserable.
Speaker 1: For what exactly?
Speaker 2: And like it's just such a good little thing to
Speaker 2: think about. It's like, actually the time to be like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: so maybe I need to do this, maybe I need
Speaker 2: to do that, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But it's like, but what's it all for? What's it
Speaker 1: all worse? Literally? And that's the questions I was asking
Speaker 1: myself when closing down Baseline, and Steve was like, can
Speaker 1: you see yourself doing this in five ten years? I
Speaker 1: was thinking about it. I'm like even if it's making money, Like,
Speaker 1: for what, what does the money mean? Is that more
Speaker 1: important to me than having time with my kids or
Speaker 1: working on something that truly lights me up? Drains my energy,
Speaker 1: stressed me all the time I ever get a break
Speaker 1: from for what? I still couldn't give you an answer
Speaker 1: why I would continue doing that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love active wear, I love designing clothes. I love
Speaker 1: photo shoots for sure, But it's like twenty percent of
Speaker 1: it for what, there's no answer I get, or you'll
Speaker 1: have bills to pay. But even does a change of
Speaker 1: job one hundred percent?
Speaker 2: Does a change of job just going you know what?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Or changing a role, like if you're in like a
Speaker 2: really high up CEO role, maybe get paid a bit more,
Speaker 2: Maybe it's worth going, Like maybe I want to just
Speaker 2: go down a notch and have that been more flowy,
Speaker 2: less pressure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, BII. There's a girl on social media that I've
Speaker 1: told you about. Her name's Ellie, Yeah, and she was
Speaker 1: an assistant to a influencer and business owner and she
Speaker 1: had an amazing career and then she left that and
Speaker 1: then she started an online business where she was helping
Speaker 1: other CEOs find personal assistance. And it looked like it
Speaker 1: was doing amazing and she was busy and living this
Speaker 1: cool life and then she could it all and went
Speaker 1: back to being a brewster. And I loved hearing her
Speaker 1: talk about it because I was like, this is so
Speaker 1: cool that she can fully just be like that wasn't
Speaker 1: serving me. And yes, society might think I've failed or
Speaker 1: I'm taking a step back, but for me, I'm taking
Speaker 1: a step forward because it looks after my health, I'm
Speaker 1: more happier. I want to just go to work and
Speaker 1: then finish and come home and live my life and
Speaker 1: be a twenty two year old. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't relate Because'm obviously a lot older in that sense,
Speaker 1: but it's similar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she just wants to be able to enjoy a life.
Speaker 2: She had so much pressure, so much going on, that
Speaker 2: she was busy, she didn't have time to actually enjoy
Speaker 2: a life.
Speaker 1: I remember there's one video she was like, I just
Speaker 1: don't actually like sitting in front of a computer all
Speaker 1: day every day by myself at home running a business.
Speaker 1: And I was like, that alone coffee shop is enough
Speaker 1: to say no more. I felt the same. I'm sitting
Speaker 1: in my office like on a computer all day every day,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. No, I don't even
Speaker 1: like being said it true where I'm sitting all day. No, Like,
Speaker 1: it's just so cool to ask yourself those questions. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe it's a role, or maybe it's the environment of
Speaker 1: your work feels so fast paced and you just want
Speaker 1: to be in the same role in a smaller company.
Speaker 2: Or maybe you can start to slow the pace down. Yeah,
Speaker 2: maybe just start moving slower and see what people do,
Speaker 2: see what the reaction is.
Speaker 1: Or if it's not your work, maybe it's your home
Speaker 1: life and just like like you said, the small things
Speaker 1: like how your play skincare, just see where in your
Speaker 1: life you can pull it back a couple of steps,
Speaker 1: Just take it a bit slower, breathe, get back in
Speaker 1: your body, and then just see where it takes you,
Speaker 1: because you'll get clarity and you'll actually think more about
Speaker 1: what's serving and what's not. What's feeling good. It's all feeling,
Speaker 1: isn't It really is feeling into your body.
Speaker 2: Always doing stuff, you're not listening to yourself.
Speaker 1: And always doing hustling in your head. You're not feeling
Speaker 1: you're out of your body. Yeah, and you're in your
Speaker 1: masculine Yeah, getting back to that feminine essence is so beautiful,
Speaker 1: so beautiful.
Speaker 2: It feels so good, well aligned, because that's your core.
Speaker 1: Baby. Yeah. And the polarity of the relationship as well,
Speaker 1: it helps. Regardless of gender, we will have masculine and
Speaker 1: feminine energy. If both of you are running in your
Speaker 1: masculine energy too much, your butt heads and it won't
Speaker 1: feel good. The polarity of one being feminine, one being
Speaker 1: more masculine, it just flows more. Feels so good for
Speaker 1: both parties. And to feel that in your relationship is
Speaker 1: so nice. If you are butting heads and you are disconnected,
Speaker 1: then this is something to look into.
Speaker 2: And the crazy thing is like with this as well
Speaker 2: as a lot of people that go like, but my
Speaker 2: husband's like not being masculine, blah blah blah. You can
Speaker 2: lead the way, you can hold the true lean more
Speaker 2: into your feminine and I guarantee you he will start
Speaker 2: to move more into his masculine role because you're leaning
Speaker 2: into your feminine. It only takes one of us to
Speaker 2: make that initial.
Speaker 1: Move, definitely, And it's so easy, isn't it so interesting?
Speaker 1: It's so easy to put the blame on the other
Speaker 1: person and say, well, he's not masculine. He's not doing this,
Speaker 1: I have to do it. It's like we you're don't.
Speaker 1: Actually you're don't. And there's ways to communicate, and it
Speaker 1: can be like a little ikey at the start while
Speaker 1: you're both navigating it. But just have those open conversations
Speaker 1: explain how certain things make you feel or how you
Speaker 1: want to feel. Most masculine men want to fix, want
Speaker 1: to make you happy, want things to flow. They want
Speaker 1: to be nurchure and take care for. They want to provide.
Speaker 1: It can flow, but we both might have been living
Speaker 1: out of your core energies. So now you've got to
Speaker 1: communicate and work together to be dancing definitely flow.
Speaker 2: In this book that I read, it was talking all
Speaker 2: about polarity and it had a really cool way to
Speaker 2: communicate to your husband because men obviously always want to help,
Speaker 2: they want to protect, they want to fix. If you
Speaker 2: come to them and being like you're not being on
Speaker 2: your masculine blah blah blah, obviously that's going to just
Speaker 2: create fire and you're going to criticized if you go
Speaker 2: to them and you're like, I'm feeling really disconnected from you.
Speaker 2: I'm feeling like I'm wanting to make you feel more
Speaker 2: like this, and I wanted to feel more flowy, and
Speaker 2: you know, I'm wanting to be that person a shop
Speaker 2: in this way for you. How can we do this together?
Speaker 2: But when you go to your feeling or say a
Speaker 2: feeling first, or even you know off a situation happens,
Speaker 2: rather be like you may be so fucking angry because
Speaker 2: of this, you can go I'm feeling really upset. I'm
Speaker 2: feeling really sad because I felt like maybe you didn't
Speaker 2: like me, or maybe I don't feel worthy right now
Speaker 2: because of the way that we spoke to each other before.
Speaker 2: So when you can speak from the way that you feel,
Speaker 2: and that again is pausing and going internal and responding
Speaker 2: rather than reacting. Yeah, but if you can go to
Speaker 2: them with a feeling, they want to help.
Speaker 1: It's a simple switch of instead of saying you, it's
Speaker 1: I you how it makes you feel? You did this,
Speaker 1: You've done that, you're not doing this, It's like, I
Speaker 1: feel this, I would like this. Do you think you
Speaker 1: could help me with this? Yes, it's all about you
Speaker 1: bringing on yourself so they don't feel criticized or blamed
Speaker 1: or like it's their fault. They then want to step
Speaker 1: up and be like okay, and.
Speaker 2: They feel so great because they're like, holy.
Speaker 1: Crad help you, I helve you. Yeah I can do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's been something that Kurt and I have
Speaker 2: been practicing a lot, and he really likes it because
Speaker 2: he likes fixing things. And I feel like that was
Speaker 2: something that I used to always kind of do. I
Speaker 2: would just like jump in and try to do it
Speaker 2: for myself.
Speaker 1: I'll just do it whatever. I'm quicker anyway, and.
Speaker 2: Even like if I'm going through a situation like I
Speaker 2: just I have space and time and you know, see
Speaker 2: how I feel now, I'm actually going to him to
Speaker 2: break it down because it's not this thing. It's like
Speaker 2: more so I'm asking for his help rather than I
Speaker 2: don't need your help, yeah, and I'm spending to him.
Speaker 2: It's more like, no, I do want your help, Like
Speaker 2: we can do this together.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2: That was a really cool thing that I read in
Speaker 2: a book.
Speaker 1: That's nice and even for the masculines too, like allowing
Speaker 1: them to lead. I think as mums we can be
Speaker 1: a bit overbearing and overpowering sometimes because we think we
Speaker 1: know best, and you know what, most of the time.
Speaker 1: We probably can't change that. We can probably do things
Speaker 1: a lot quicker and more efficiently and better because we
Speaker 1: do it a lot more than them majority of the time.
Speaker 1: If you're the primary care gifer and you're with your
Speaker 1: kids more, and I'm definitely with the kids more than
Speaker 1: what Steve is now, we really do it better. But now,
Speaker 1: like I'll catch myself and I'm like, just let him
Speaker 1: do it how he wants to do it. You have
Speaker 1: to jump in there, let him lead, let him learn,
Speaker 1: let him do what feels good for him. They can
Speaker 1: have their own way to do things. It's not right
Speaker 1: or wrong, but just take a step back and just
Speaker 1: trust your man. They want to feel trusted. That helps
Speaker 1: them feel respected and helps them stay in their masculine energy.
Speaker 1: If you are criticizing, putting them down, and trying to
Speaker 1: change everything that they're doing, they will just step back.
Speaker 1: Then they won't step up how you want them to.
Speaker 1: You want them to lead. It makes you feel safe,
Speaker 1: and it helps you to drop in, helps you to soften.
Speaker 1: It helps you to receive. We want to receive being
Speaker 1: a feminine. But if you're constantly on them and controlling them,
Speaker 1: you're not in your receiving and.
Speaker 2: Doesn't that go back to rushing again? Does hate? Because
Speaker 2: if you're like not in a rush and you're like
Speaker 2: okay with it being ten minutes later that you leave
Speaker 2: or whatever, you're not caring about how long they take.
Speaker 1: To change, they take to do a poo in the toilet.
Speaker 2: Or whatever it may be that they're doing right when
Speaker 2: you're But when you're not in a rush and you're
Speaker 2: more like okay, it's just slowing down your pace.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, there's an incredible book that I actually
Speaker 1: I think I skim read years ago because she was
Speaker 1: actually a friend of mine and met her on a
Speaker 1: Tony Robins event. But Libby Weaver's that last name. She's
Speaker 1: got a book called The Rushing Woman's Syndrome. Oh I
Speaker 1: want to read I need to read it again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll actually get her on the podcast. She'll come on. Oh,
Speaker 1: yeah's incredible, woman's hormones, health, mental health, sex, hormones, like,
Speaker 1: she's health, so holistic, she's incredible.
Speaker 2: We'll get her own mate, especially for right now.
Speaker 1: But yeah, she's got a book about the rushing women's
Speaker 1: syndrome and the effect that it has on our bodies
Speaker 1: and our health. So let's get her on to talk
Speaker 1: about that. But in the meantime, Yeah, that's an incredible book.
Speaker 1: I'd recommend. I need to read it. I think I
Speaker 1: skim read it because I actually got to go and
Speaker 1: talk to her about stuffes like I dond't need the book.
Speaker 1: I do need the book. But yeah, let's get her on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she'd be awesome.
Speaker 2: I'd love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. Now,
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