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Speaker 1: Apogie Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Am I A Bad

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Speaker 2: Mum Podcast? We have bad mum content three times a week.

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Speaker 2: That's how bad we are. I think yourself lucky we're

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Speaker 2: not doing it seven times a week in.

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Speaker 1: The amount of stuff that comes out of our mouths

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Speaker 1: about parenting. Definitely don't follow this parenting podcast for worldly

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Speaker 1: advice for education or education or how to. Speaking of

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Speaker 1: how to, you would have been so impressed with me.

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Speaker 1: We're at that time of year, which you know very

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Speaker 1: well about because you've been in and done it. But

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Speaker 1: we are at dance concert end of the year and

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Speaker 1: timely of the dance concert preparations. You go into a

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Speaker 1: full photo day on one weekend, the following weekend full

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Speaker 1: rehearsal day, and then I think it's like two weekends

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Speaker 1: after that is their full concert.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, give you miss it, don't.

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Speaker 4: See miss it.

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Speaker 1: So last night I was up until late because it

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Speaker 1: happens to be the photo day this weekend and I'm away.

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Speaker 1: I did this also last year. It was the same weekend.

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Speaker 1: Photo day fell on the same weekend that I happened

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Speaker 1: to be away last year. So hair makeup, yeah, hairpectress,

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Speaker 1: and then full kit We've got seven uniforms, like seven

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Speaker 1: different outfits.

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Speaker 3: Now the last two came home only last night.

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Speaker 1: And then they're expecting you to have it all like yes,

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Speaker 1: so you've got to take it from that.

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Speaker 3: Then you've got to put it into the proper like

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Speaker 3: oub on the stuff.

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Speaker 1: And one of the seven is like a oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: so your daughter has been put into this character.

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Speaker 3: You need to source the whole thing. Oh shit, you

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Speaker 3: know what I'm like. I was like, what the hell?

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Speaker 1: This is the twentieth anniversary year. So they're doing some

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Speaker 1: remakes of some of their top songs, and we'd done

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Speaker 1: this routine I think only.

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Speaker 3: Two years ago. Katie.

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Speaker 1: I've turned the house upside down. I cannot find this uniform.

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Speaker 1: I don't even throw uniforms out. I have no idea

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Speaker 1: where this is gone. But I found the vest to it,

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Speaker 1: so I was like, that's fine. And then from another one,

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, take that white shirt from that

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Speaker 1: because that'll look like that. I'll just color it a

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Speaker 1: little bit and really make it look disheveled. And then

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Speaker 1: guess what I did. I took another black pair of

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Speaker 1: pants from another uniform that we had, hoping to God

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Speaker 1: that we don't ever need to revisit these ones. She's

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Speaker 1: meant to be like the sort of like street kids,

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Speaker 1: kind of back in the olden days tree kids. So

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Speaker 1: at the time when I put them on her last night,

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Speaker 1: Gregsy's gotten into them and.

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Speaker 3: She goes, oh, a bit tight around my bum. I

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Speaker 3: had a look, someone's just pinned it like soda. It

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Speaker 3: was probably nan a d was definitely not me, but

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Speaker 3: obviously at the time bit tight.

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Speaker 1: So got like the scissors and hacked at it and

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Speaker 1: then they fit and then you know what I did,

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Speaker 1: cut the legs off, but whilst the child was still

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Speaker 1: in the pants.

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Speaker 3: Katie, don't do that, Katie, don't ever do that.

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Speaker 1: Don't come to me for worldly advice about how to

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Speaker 1: make a costume with your daughter.

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Speaker 3: What dickhead? She's like, mommy almost cutting me. I was like,

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Speaker 3: probably just take them off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe, Why why.

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Speaker 3: Are you making me do it?

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Speaker 4: Week on?

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Speaker 2: No, I understand where you work is like, then you

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Speaker 2: can make them the right length, then you can see

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Speaker 2: where they're gonna be.

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Speaker 4: I mean, couple of cuts to the leg I mean,

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Speaker 4: it's not gonna kill you, see what I mean?

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Speaker 3: For the non dance skilled I was like, it makes sense.

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Speaker 1: To me, and I'm like looking up at her, going

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Speaker 1: makes sense because now I can see the high I

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Speaker 1: don't understand.

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Speaker 3: What your problem is.

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Speaker 1: I put like three fingers as the gap below your knee,

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Speaker 1: and then I was just doing three fingers below you

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Speaker 1: get It's totally fine, you'll be fine.

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Speaker 3: I won't nick you.

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Speaker 4: And she was like, Mum.

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Speaker 5: Just said that moment where I was like, it's nearly

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Speaker 5: bugging nine o'clock at night. I also don't want to

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Speaker 5: be making costumes, let alone fucking packing seven uniforms into

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Speaker 5: this duffel bag and then I'm trying.

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Speaker 3: To cut my child's leg off.

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Speaker 4: Nailed it probably got another one.

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Speaker 3: Just hop.

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Speaker 2: My bad Mum for hiding what I'm watching now. I

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Speaker 2: don't really need to do this anymore. We've had conversations

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Speaker 2: in the past where been on an aeroplane with little

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Speaker 2: kids yea, and I was watching something that was inappropriate

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Speaker 2: and I could see Holly.

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Speaker 4: Keep looking at my screen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're watching cartoons or something or something.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and then.

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Speaker 2: I've got like the safety card up against someone stop

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Speaker 2: watching my thing. I don't really need to do that

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Speaker 2: anymore because they have watched probably stuff.

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Speaker 4: Than I have.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea what they even watch. They recommend

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Speaker 2: stuff us so like, oh, Mum, I think you'd like

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Speaker 2: this on Netflix. Oh no, Mom, it's way too much

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Speaker 2: for you.

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Speaker 3: Why thank you?

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Speaker 1: Now?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Have you watched Swingers?

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Speaker 3: It's a movie or a TV show.

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Speaker 1: It's a documentary, a doc Okay, yeah, no, I definitely

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Speaker 1: haven't watched it.

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Speaker 3: I'm still trying to get through the other one that

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Speaker 3: we talked about wayward.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, it's a documentary called Swingers, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Which is set in the UK.

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Speaker 2: And I initially I was like, oh, that'd be really interesting,

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Speaker 2: like I'm so interested to see how it all goes on,

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Speaker 2: and had this image in my mind that it was

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Speaker 2: going to be like really quite glamorous and like sexy

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Speaker 2: and like high end. I really thought it was gonna

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Speaker 2: be and then it just wasn't. Like it was like

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Speaker 2: kind of townhall vibes, sausage rolls, get your peanot, gretiow

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Speaker 2: and a plastic carp like it was. And then and

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Speaker 2: then there are people right like it's all.

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Speaker 1: Walks of life okay, And this was like an insightful

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Speaker 1: doco about how swingers work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like the night a killer company and you know

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Speaker 2: you get invited and you come along and there's like

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Speaker 2: drinks and nibbles to start with.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, definitely like sausage roll kind of vibe.

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Speaker 3: Just your faces at all. No, everyone likes the sausage roll.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, smoke salmon blini.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like Champagne on arrival.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's just that's the image I had. I think it's

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Speaker 2: going to be super glamorous. Yeah, and it wasn't, but

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Speaker 2: it was entertaining him by this stage.

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Speaker 4: I was like invested, you're already there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, but it's.

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Speaker 2: Not that my kids, it's not that it's inappropriate for

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Speaker 2: them to see stuff like that, like sixteen. But it

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Speaker 2: wasn't shame that's the wrong word. But it was almost

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Speaker 2: like a oh God, I don't.

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Speaker 4: Want them to know that I'm watching this.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that it comes from a place of

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Speaker 1: not you feeling shame towards watching it, but like sort

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Speaker 1: of that moment in time where you don't want to

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Speaker 1: be shamed by them for watching it.

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Speaker 2: Because they definitely would have been like why you watch

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Speaker 2: that you're into?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, is that you don't want to be shamed by

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Speaker 1: them thinking that you want to partake in something like

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Speaker 1: this right, I mean, I mean you love a sausage roll.

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Speaker 2: When we think when we think of the like logistics

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Speaker 2: of that, I was like, we like to watch fucked

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Speaker 2: up true crime shows on Netflix. Doesn't mean I want

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Speaker 2: to go out and be a murderer.

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Speaker 1: No, But it is like a topic that allows that

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Speaker 1: lexibility around people's perception, which could be your kids as well.

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Speaker 1: But it does allow just being the topic that it is,

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Speaker 1: it does allow like such an openness towards like, oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe that's what you're into.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And they definitely would have been a bit like,

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Speaker 2: oh god, mum's a weirdo, like, look at what she's watching.

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Speaker 2: And Dave was watching it too, like it was interesting,

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Speaker 2: like it was fascinating, and then it was also like

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Speaker 2: oh really. Then one of the girls came down the stairs.

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Speaker 2: They'd gone into the kitchen to like top up their

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Speaker 2: water or whatever, and Jay like quickly pressed pause. We

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Speaker 2: knew that they were ready to come in, and I went, Jay, like,

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Speaker 2: you've just pressed paws and at the top it says

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Speaker 2: swingers and he went, oh yeah, and so we've turned

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Speaker 2: it off. He's turned it off.

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Speaker 4: The girls come in with silently watching nothing sutching a

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Speaker 4: black screen.

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Speaker 3: I was like, you do it liking it more? Even

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Speaker 3: more weird. You're guilty.

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Speaker 4: It was more weird it was.

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Speaker 2: And then Jay's put the TV back on, and then

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Speaker 2: the next.

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Speaker 4: Child's come down on the same filled up a water bottle.

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Speaker 4: He's like, turn on. It's like I just turned the

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Speaker 4: chewel over.

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Speaker 2: I did go over the fucking the block.

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Speaker 4: What are you watching?

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Speaker 2: You never watched the block? Yeah, well it's better than

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Speaker 2: what we actually are watching.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but goodness of like a silent room as they

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Speaker 1: walk down as you're sitting on the couch and they're like,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: And this is a TV room, Rachel. It's like, you

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Speaker 2: don't sit there for any other purpose. You don't sit

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Speaker 2: there and talk to each other in front of the

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Speaker 2: black TV.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: They totally knew that you're watching something that you didn't

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Speaker 1: want to know that you're watching.

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Speaker 2: Oh and actually, on those streaming services you can see

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Speaker 2: what somebody else previously watched anyway.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's not like you've got the parenting locks so

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Speaker 1: that they can hardly.

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Speaker 3: Watch the kitsch profile. It is all open watch what

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Speaker 3: people are watching.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, they would be horrified if I said, oh, sorry,

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Speaker 2: eels are set to PG.

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Speaker 1: Yes, sorry, you can't watch that. Why I don't know,

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Speaker 1: because we've been watching it down that whole track of swingers,

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Speaker 1: and seeing that the doco was made in the UK,

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Speaker 1: I have to ask, is it sort of got a

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Speaker 1: vibe of like my gypsy wedding, my big fat gypsy wedding.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah it does, yeah, a little bit.

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Speaker 2: But this one there was twenty year olds and think

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Speaker 2: there were seventy year olds.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, because you can go.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to go as a couple, but you

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Speaker 2: can go as a couple like single.

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Speaker 3: I thought the whole point was to go as a couple,

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Speaker 3: so then therefore.

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Speaker 2: No, it's just like a free for all. You go in,

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Speaker 2: you get your sausage roll, you get your warm wine

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Speaker 2: and a cup, and then it's not even numbers start talking.

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Speaker 2: There was this one bit rage where this young girl

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Speaker 2: she must have been in her twenties, maybe even early thirties,

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Speaker 2: but she was very pretty, like great body, and then

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Speaker 2: you could obviously see she was getting interest from this

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Speaker 2: guy who was also young, quite hot, like they suited.

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Speaker 4: Each other perfectly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you could see it happening, and they've gotten

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Speaker 2: a hot tup, literally rage everywhere they go. This old

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Speaker 2: lady in her seventies larger old ladies, wearing like a almost.

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Speaker 4: Like a leotard mustache.

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Speaker 2: She's following them around from place to place. I was like,

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Speaker 2: she's thinking she's going to get in on a threesome

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Speaker 2: action here?

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Speaker 3: Is that what she?

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Speaker 1: Do? You? Reckon?

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Speaker 3: She was or maybe she just liked she likes the watch.

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Speaker 2: I'd honestly rate like I was watching at this part.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have even paused it for the girls coming

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Speaker 2: in because at this part I was like, read the room,

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Speaker 2: did she have?

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Speaker 3: You got what happened? She just wanted to watch?

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Speaker 4: Oh maybe Suly, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Surely you're not going to jump in on the action.

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Speaker 1: Surely too hot young male and female are not going

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Speaker 1: to turn to an older seven year old lady with

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Speaker 1: the mustache and say, hey, do you want to join in? Like,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how far deep you are into that

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Speaker 1: sort of stuff.

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Speaker 3: I can't imagine that being an invitation.

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Speaker 2: I felt like she did not have very much self awareness.

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Speaker 3: But from the fact.

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Speaker 1: She's seventy wearing Lita and has a mustache and she's

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Speaker 1: on a doco that's swingers.

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Speaker 3: I don't think there's much going on there.

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Speaker 2: Proper short curly hair perms like all the rest wasn't

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Speaker 2: trying to be younger.

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Speaker 4: I know what I'll do.

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Speaker 2: I'll sit with these two hot twenty year olds.

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Speaker 4: Surely they're going to invite me in.

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Speaker 3: I also, now go back to your situation. I also

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Speaker 3: couldn't have left it on for my girls to walk

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Speaker 3: in and.

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Speaker 2: See how they would view me like old love. That's

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Speaker 2: what they would be thinking that I would be doing.

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Speaker 2: That's gonna be mum, Oh, she's already watching it.