WEBVTT - Everyone has beauty within 0:00:05.921 --> 0:00:13.161 Apologie production. Hi, my name's Beck Wodbine, and welcome to 0:00:13.241 --> 0:00:14.441 Tenderness for Nurses. 0:00:15.041 --> 0:00:18.841 I'm grateful for the person that I had the opportunity 0:00:18.881 --> 0:00:19.241 to be. 0:00:19.961 --> 0:00:23.681 So I hid it and parked it for Nelly four years. 0:00:24.121 --> 0:00:26.361 We always have free will, We always get to choose. 0:00:26.481 --> 0:00:27.841 We are autonomous. 0:00:28.401 --> 0:00:31.721 Good afternoon everyone, Thank you for tuning back in to 0:00:31.841 --> 0:00:35.040 Tenderness for Nurses. I am very privileged to have a 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:39.881 lovely colleague of mine, Simon Rita Alexander, who I met 0:00:40.281 --> 0:00:46.440 not that long ago, actually at a skincare meeting. It 0:00:46.561 --> 0:00:50.801 was a lastin, wasn't it that we were mar the 0:00:50.801 --> 0:00:53.121 Galderma product, which I just have to say, and this 0:00:53.161 --> 0:00:55.961 isn't a plug for anyone, but it is remarkable. But 0:00:57.041 --> 0:01:00.481 you particularly love it because your background is in wound 0:01:00.601 --> 0:01:02.121 care as an endorsed and rold nurse. 0:01:02.441 --> 0:01:02.841 Correct. 0:01:02.921 --> 0:01:05.201 Yeah, so just give us a little bit of the 0:01:05.441 --> 0:01:09.361 back of how long or when did you do your eens? 0:01:09.801 --> 0:01:14.000 So about eight years ago now, and I did my 0:01:14.121 --> 0:01:18.920 graduar at a private hospital in post op plastic and 0:01:18.961 --> 0:01:23.681 reconstructive wing care. Sure, so, dealing with lots of gender 0:01:23.721 --> 0:01:29.920 reaffirming surgeries, neckfash wounds, lots of stuff. So that's probably 0:01:30.321 --> 0:01:34.281 what got me really into not only wind cabit, how 0:01:34.321 --> 0:01:37.961 the skin heels, how to protect the skin barrier, all 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:39.681 the things that have kind of led me to the 0:01:39.721 --> 0:01:40.720 point where I am now. 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:47.201 So the gender affirming surgery, you now have your own practice. 0:01:47.360 --> 0:01:50.801 I do, yes, within the ascetic space. Yes, so you 0:01:50.841 --> 0:01:52.241 know your competition. 0:01:52.321 --> 0:01:54.081 I know, totally, totally. 0:01:54.761 --> 0:01:57.281 I'd like to say that, but actually we're anything but no. 0:01:57.641 --> 0:02:02.721 But do you tend to get patients now that are 0:02:02.761 --> 0:02:03.561 on that journey? 0:02:03.721 --> 0:02:09.361 I do, yes. I get patients of all varieties. Obviously 0:02:09.361 --> 0:02:13.121 we know our bread and butter is female, but I 0:02:13.161 --> 0:02:19.081 do get a wide variety of genders, socioeconomic backgrounds, lots 0:02:19.081 --> 0:02:23.281 of different people. In I try to focus on what 0:02:23.361 --> 0:02:27.481 I call it is positive aging. So I really come 0:02:27.561 --> 0:02:32.241 down to trying to bring my background in nursing and 0:02:32.281 --> 0:02:35.881 the reason why I started nursing is I want to 0:02:35.881 --> 0:02:38.921 help people and I try to bring that into cosmetics. 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:41.561 So whether it be with how they look, how they feel, 0:02:41.841 --> 0:02:44.881 if they need a chat, it's all kind of relevant. 0:02:44.481 --> 0:02:45.081 It isn't that. 0:02:45.321 --> 0:02:47.840 Yeah, So do you say no? Lots? 0:02:48.201 --> 0:02:50.601 Me too? Oh my god, all the time? 0:02:50.761 --> 0:02:54.841 Do you yeah? Me too? And I'm surprised at the 0:02:54.921 --> 0:02:58.201 amount of other nurses that say, oh you say no, 0:02:58.561 --> 0:02:59.081 and I'm like. 0:02:59.121 --> 0:03:02.761 Yeah, it's a scary part of our industry. And I 0:03:02.841 --> 0:03:06.121 have to say, there seems to be two types of 0:03:06.161 --> 0:03:08.601 people within the aesthetic space. There seems to be the 0:03:08.601 --> 0:03:12.921 one that I'm medically ethically orientated and the ones that 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:16.881 are financially orientated. Would that be your take. 0:03:17.201 --> 0:03:21.001 I definitely think so. I think. Look to be real, 0:03:21.161 --> 0:03:25.481 I got into the industry because initially I was financially 0:03:25.561 --> 0:03:28.841 motivated because I got really down about what I was 0:03:28.841 --> 0:03:32.201 getting paid for a really long week at the hospital, 0:03:33.921 --> 0:03:38.761 and not only was the compensation not sufficient, the support 0:03:38.921 --> 0:03:44.761 wasn't sufficient. The emotional burnout just from doing the job, 0:03:45.041 --> 0:03:47.361 no matter what level of nursing you are, just from 0:03:47.441 --> 0:03:51.721 that patient interaction had really gotten to me. And this 0:03:51.921 --> 0:03:55.321 was a way I thought maybe I could solve some 0:03:55.401 --> 0:03:56.161 of those issues. 0:03:56.401 --> 0:03:58.241 So do you still work within the hospital? 0:03:58.321 --> 0:04:02.321 I do, yeah, so casually. Yeah, I work in day 0:04:02.361 --> 0:04:04.561 surgery and postop recovery. 0:04:05.081 --> 0:04:08.161 Awesome. So doing plastics still. 0:04:08.121 --> 0:04:12.961 Lots plastics is obviously one of your biggest operating theater 0:04:13.441 --> 0:04:15.681 time consumers, so we do look after a lot of 0:04:15.681 --> 0:04:20.440 plastic patients. But also autho IVF, a very small amount 0:04:20.481 --> 0:04:24.320 of gender reaffirming and a lot of fertility. Actually, is 0:04:24.361 --> 0:04:24.761 that right? 0:04:25.841 --> 0:04:28.761 I actually started when I went and worked at s 0:04:28.961 --> 0:04:33.241 Andrew's Hospital. I did my post grad year after I'd 0:04:33.241 --> 0:04:40.161 done my registered nursing, my degree in nursing at s 0:04:40.361 --> 0:04:44.361 Andrew's Hospital, and I started off doing lots of IVF. 0:04:44.601 --> 0:04:46.520 Guyany and ies believe it. 0:04:46.521 --> 0:04:48.201 Or not, Oh my god, this so much. 0:04:48.561 --> 0:04:50.880 So so much, and I loved it. And then I 0:04:50.921 --> 0:04:53.081 moved across and worked for Quins and Fertility Group for 0:04:53.721 --> 0:04:58.840 numerous years. But I did everything, you know, like theater, recovery, anesthetics, grubbing, scouting, 0:04:58.921 --> 0:04:59.681 admissions like. 0:04:59.641 --> 0:05:01.921 We just you do kind of have to be a 0:05:02.201 --> 0:05:02.921 jack of all train. 0:05:03.081 --> 0:05:05.880 Yeah. And I loved it. I really loved it. The 0:05:06.001 --> 0:05:09.400 hours were great. You know, we didn't think about pay 0:05:09.401 --> 0:05:11.481 back then. It was just nurses just got great. 0:05:11.801 --> 0:05:15.440 I didn't. I don't know one nurse that said I 0:05:15.481 --> 0:05:20.241 got into nursing the pay No, I'll let. 0:05:20.121 --> 0:05:22.401 Me thinking about that. Yeah, i'd have to say. I 0:05:22.521 --> 0:05:24.401 can't say I've ever heard that either. 0:05:24.561 --> 0:05:28.641 No, So you know, I'm sure there might be some, 0:05:28.801 --> 0:05:30.520 but yeah, definitely not me. 0:05:31.041 --> 0:05:33.440 What did you do before you became a nurse. 0:05:33.961 --> 0:05:39.561 So I actually was. I was a full time drag queen. 0:05:41.001 --> 0:05:45.361 What are you now? There I was, and then I 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:49.080 was a hairdresser for ten years. So here in Brisbane, 0:05:49.521 --> 0:05:50.681 both here in Brisbane. 0:05:50.761 --> 0:05:54.081 Yeah, and where did you where did. 0:05:53.961 --> 0:05:57.721 You all all the local clubs from here to the 0:05:57.721 --> 0:06:03.081 Gold Coast for quite a few years, namely one club 0:06:03.761 --> 0:06:08.481 in the valley. That's quite so. I enjoyed it at 0:06:08.481 --> 0:06:11.641 the time, I was it anymore? No too much effort? 0:06:12.481 --> 0:06:19.121 Oh you like beautiful? Oh? Thank you? Absolutely stunning us 0:06:19.121 --> 0:06:21.041 some of the drag. 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:24.121 Queens, aren't they. Yeah. And that's the amount of effort 0:06:24.161 --> 0:06:25.401 that is a lot, is it? 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:25.601 Oh? 0:06:25.601 --> 0:06:29.841 My god? And money really just to keep up makeup, wigs, costuming, 0:06:30.801 --> 0:06:34.241 and to be honest, I'm you know, I'm almost forty. 0:06:34.281 --> 0:06:35.481 I can't stay up that late. 0:06:37.521 --> 0:06:38.681 My god, Yes, I'm anana. 0:06:39.121 --> 0:06:40.721 I'm ready for bed at seven thirty. 0:06:41.241 --> 0:06:43.361 Well, I have to say almost forty. You don't look 0:06:43.361 --> 0:06:43.561 at that. 0:06:43.761 --> 0:06:45.721 Oh, well, you know perks of the industry. 0:06:45.961 --> 0:06:50.121 Do you miss that? Do you miss the camaraderie? Well? 0:06:50.201 --> 0:06:55.041 Interesting you say that, because yes, but I've developed a 0:06:55.081 --> 0:07:00.001 different camaraderie in the cosmetic space. I've gotten a real 0:07:01.481 --> 0:07:04.441 partnership and a real sense of community that I never 0:07:04.561 --> 0:07:10.641 had in surgical nursing. So with a very small cohort, definitely, 0:07:10.801 --> 0:07:15.401 I find that the support in the cosmetic space is 0:07:16.281 --> 0:07:20.561 tenfold better than it was in hospital nursing. Not only 0:07:20.641 --> 0:07:25.241 the support professionally, but the support emotionally, the support with 0:07:25.641 --> 0:07:31.201 adverse events, the support in growing your business. It's all there, 0:07:31.241 --> 0:07:33.921 and it's all quite easily accessible. 0:07:34.201 --> 0:07:36.641 Actually, we were meant to do this podcast last week 0:07:36.681 --> 0:07:40.721 and I had to go and help a colleague with 0:07:40.881 --> 0:07:43.961 a significant vascular exression and it was so lovely you 0:07:44.041 --> 0:07:46.961 just meant, yeah, no, go for going, of course, you know, 0:07:47.441 --> 0:07:51.041 but I love the fact that there are people that 0:07:51.121 --> 0:07:54.081 can reach out to me no judgment. It can happen 0:07:54.081 --> 0:07:57.721 to the best injector, and it has on stage, I 0:07:57.761 --> 0:08:00.361 want to say, but you would never know because they're 0:08:00.401 --> 0:08:01.361 just so calm. 0:08:01.841 --> 0:08:04.801 Well, it's not a reflection of you personally or professionally. 0:08:05.761 --> 0:08:07.721 As we all know, it can happen. 0:08:08.241 --> 0:08:13.161 Without a doubt. And I think the more time we 0:08:13.201 --> 0:08:16.281 spend understanding and the research is there, the more we 0:08:16.321 --> 0:08:20.641 know anatomically less likely we are to have a VEO. 0:08:20.801 --> 0:08:24.281 But as you know, and so you guys understand that 0:08:24.361 --> 0:08:30.081 we are taught anatomy facial anatomy, but thirty percent of 0:08:30.121 --> 0:08:35.241 that now we know, diverges from what we know to 0:08:35.281 --> 0:08:38.241 be true, if not maybe more than thirty percent. So 0:08:38.441 --> 0:08:42.601 when we are injecting people's faces, in our minds, we 0:08:42.721 --> 0:08:47.961 have a map of where the major vessels are ar, trees, muscles, ligaments, 0:08:48.441 --> 0:08:53.881 bone structure, everything is, but on some people it's completely different. 0:08:54.001 --> 0:08:57.241 Or one side might be the norm and the other 0:08:57.321 --> 0:08:59.041 side is completely different. 0:08:59.521 --> 0:09:02.921 Yet to encounter a patient that is symmetrical, no one 0:09:03.081 --> 0:09:04.761 is no, No one is no. 0:09:05.201 --> 0:09:13.561 So it I know there are medical and nursing groups 0:09:13.561 --> 0:09:18.961 out there that look at our industry as fluffy, but 0:09:19.001 --> 0:09:21.921 I can tell you it is anything but especially when 0:09:22.001 --> 0:09:29.401 you add wound care, lasers, skin dermatology, and injectibles, it 0:09:29.521 --> 0:09:34.041 is an that incorporates so many other health concerns. 0:09:34.601 --> 0:09:37.881 Do you know what I as a cosmetic nurse, we 0:09:37.921 --> 0:09:42.961 see our patients sometimes monthly, but you know, at a 0:09:43.001 --> 0:09:45.921 minimum three to six monthly, So we're seeing them more 0:09:45.961 --> 0:09:50.761 than their primary care giver, physician, their GP, their you know, 0:09:51.041 --> 0:09:56.081 specialist surgeon. So I think it's our responsibility to not 0:09:56.161 --> 0:10:01.481 only do what they ask cosmetically. But I'm always getting 0:10:01.481 --> 0:10:06.561 asked what's this or you know, I've said, hey, have 0:10:06.681 --> 0:10:11.881 you had that checked out? I've done blood services, PRP, biophila. 0:10:11.921 --> 0:10:16.001 When I've discovered the plasma is not looking good, not 0:10:16.121 --> 0:10:18.801 looking great, I've sent them to the doctor. Straight after 0:10:19.241 --> 0:10:22.721 I've called the doctor, I've explained what's going on and yeah, 0:10:23.281 --> 0:10:25.281 super high and calcium yep. 0:10:25.881 --> 0:10:28.721 And mind you, I've also done that and said you 0:10:28.881 --> 0:10:30.121 partied a bit too hard on the. 0:10:30.041 --> 0:10:32.001 Correct you know, it could have been one, it could 0:10:32.001 --> 0:10:33.961 have been the Oh my god, how did you know? 0:10:34.081 --> 0:10:36.161 And I was like, well, I just saw your plasma. 0:10:36.321 --> 0:10:38.721 I think maybe we stopped this treatment and you know, 0:10:40.121 --> 0:10:41.601 drink fair bit of water and we'll see you in 0:10:41.601 --> 0:10:44.361 a couple of yeah, correct time. However, it is true, 0:10:44.401 --> 0:10:48.361 And because I have another nurse practitioner that comes into 0:10:48.361 --> 0:10:52.201 the clinic that does skin cancer management and I have 0:10:52.241 --> 0:10:55.241 a great relationship with germs in Brisbane as well as 0:10:55.241 --> 0:11:00.081 plastics as I know you do. Yes, I've got a 0:11:00.081 --> 0:11:03.401 client recently that you know, if youdex on one spot, 0:11:03.401 --> 0:11:07.641 oh my god, the BCC was horrific. And then from 0:11:07.681 --> 0:11:10.721 there we've gone on. You know, she's now got other 0:11:10.761 --> 0:11:16.961 BCCs on her face. But we're not just putting needles 0:11:16.961 --> 0:11:21.241 in people's faces. No, And you know I've told my 0:11:21.361 --> 0:11:23.761 story on the podcast about not drinking. I can't tell 0:11:23.761 --> 0:11:27.401 you now how many people ask me about how they 0:11:27.401 --> 0:11:29.161 can give up alcohol. Now. 0:11:29.721 --> 0:11:34.361 Oh, it's you know, it's systemic in the way we 0:11:34.481 --> 0:11:37.161 have to look after our patients, as in we've got 0:11:37.201 --> 0:11:41.761 to not only do skincare, but where they're talking cosmetics, 0:11:41.801 --> 0:11:47.161 we're talking general mental health. You know, not that maybe 0:11:47.241 --> 0:11:50.721 all of us have the qualifications to give, you know, 0:11:51.761 --> 0:11:55.521 professional advice, but we're certainly a sounding board and. 0:11:55.561 --> 0:11:58.681 We know who to refer on to correct, because I'm assuming, 0:11:59.161 --> 0:12:03.521 as an endorsement raw nurse with the upper guidelines, did 0:12:03.521 --> 0:12:04.641 you have a registered nurse? 0:12:05.041 --> 0:12:08.481 So I do have registered nurse employed. She's employed and 0:12:08.521 --> 0:12:13.561 contracted for both indirect and direct supervision. So just depending 0:12:13.681 --> 0:12:17.001 on what procedure is booked in and what area of 0:12:17.041 --> 0:12:20.041 the face, and what medication I'm using of course, so 0:12:21.281 --> 0:12:25.201 you're doing everything right. Oh, correct. I found being an 0:12:25.241 --> 0:12:30.361 endorsed in ROLD nurse and a slightly competitive person by nature, 0:12:31.761 --> 0:12:39.241 I overstudy. So when I first got into cosmetics, I 0:12:39.281 --> 0:12:42.001 and I've seen you speak about this. I had definite 0:12:42.081 --> 0:12:47.481 imposter syndrome. I thought, what am I doing? How? You know? 0:12:47.761 --> 0:12:51.961 And I just had been fortunate enough to have the 0:12:52.001 --> 0:12:57.401 background in plastic surgery that I was accepted, But I 0:12:57.441 --> 0:12:59.681 didn't feel like I was like, what are you doing? 0:13:00.241 --> 0:13:03.161 You know, you're literally one of maybe a handful of 0:13:03.201 --> 0:13:07.681 ians that are allowed to What makes you think you're 0:13:07.761 --> 0:13:08.681 going to be good enough? 0:13:09.721 --> 0:13:10.961 And how did you overcome that? 0:13:12.321 --> 0:13:15.881 The support of the community, mutual friends which we know 0:13:17.001 --> 0:13:22.881 other like doctors, have been so supportive and so encouraging. 0:13:23.001 --> 0:13:28.761 Nurse practitioners like yourself, fellow nurses in and out of 0:13:28.801 --> 0:13:33.321 the industry, have just really given me that confidence that, hey, 0:13:34.081 --> 0:13:37.441 you know, I am good at what I do. Yes, 0:13:38.041 --> 0:13:41.281 I'm fortunate that I do have an aesthetic eye, which 0:13:41.321 --> 0:13:44.921 has worked hand in hand with the cosmetic field. 0:13:45.361 --> 0:13:50.521 Well, you know what, I really believe the best aesthetic 0:13:51.401 --> 0:13:55.161 practitioners have an aesthetic and not everyone does. I know 0:13:55.281 --> 0:13:59.401 when I trained for Galderma, I could go in and 0:13:59.441 --> 0:14:03.601 I could see this gaping hole in someone's cheek and 0:14:03.641 --> 0:14:06.801 I'm like, going, you need we have to put something here, 0:14:07.361 --> 0:14:11.081 and they people can't see it. I couldn't understand it. 0:14:11.361 --> 0:14:12.561 How they couldn't see it. 0:14:12.721 --> 0:14:15.401 And maybe because I look at things in symmetry, I 0:14:15.441 --> 0:14:19.721 just couldn't understand how they couldn't treat someone in a 0:14:19.761 --> 0:14:23.281 symmetrical manner. You don't want to be you know, people 0:14:23.321 --> 0:14:26.841 aren't exactly the same. But if there's a whole, surely 0:14:26.881 --> 0:14:27.481 you can see that. 0:14:27.481 --> 0:14:31.081 Whole, well, correct you? Well one would hope, wouldn't you. 0:14:31.121 --> 0:14:38.001 But they can't know, And maybe they're blinded by financial gain, 0:14:38.121 --> 0:14:42.441 blinded by he is in the industry. Who knows. I 0:14:42.441 --> 0:14:42.801 don't know. 0:14:42.841 --> 0:14:47.121 It's a really interesting thing, and I certainly know there 0:14:47.121 --> 0:14:50.601 are certain clinics out there that you really know what 0:14:50.721 --> 0:14:53.841 clinics someone's gone to because of how that person looks, 0:14:53.881 --> 0:14:55.681 because they reject everyone exactly. 0:14:55.281 --> 0:14:58.521 The same correct or it's one area, yeah. 0:14:58.281 --> 0:15:00.481 And it's an interesting thing where if you really want 0:15:00.481 --> 0:15:05.801 a beautiful, bespoke treatment, it's usually little bit every correct. 0:15:06.321 --> 0:15:08.721 And one of the first things I say to my patients, 0:15:08.761 --> 0:15:12.361 especially if they're new, is, first of all, I affirmed 0:15:12.441 --> 0:15:16.721 that they should feel beautiful and confident in themselves without 0:15:17.001 --> 0:15:21.961 our help, because again, coming from someone that has struggled 0:15:22.161 --> 0:15:27.561 with self confidence, mental health, all of those kind of 0:15:27.561 --> 0:15:30.761 struggles that we all do my whole life. I like 0:15:30.881 --> 0:15:33.841 to make sure people know that no matter what we do, 0:15:34.361 --> 0:15:38.241 they should feel beautiful in their own skin. And that's 0:15:38.241 --> 0:15:41.641 why I really try and reinforce. Instead of calling an 0:15:41.681 --> 0:15:44.761 anti aging, I like to refer to it as positive aging. 0:15:44.921 --> 0:15:45.401 I love that. 0:15:45.801 --> 0:15:50.601 I might use that myself. Why not, because if you 0:15:50.681 --> 0:15:53.681 don't feel good in your skin, what are you doing? 0:15:54.921 --> 0:15:59.001 Oh? I wouldn't agree more. You would find, as I've found, 0:16:00.041 --> 0:16:04.761 particularly women that having a marriage breakdown or a relationship 0:16:04.801 --> 0:16:07.801 break out, and they come in, they go, just fill 0:16:07.881 --> 0:16:12.081 me up. I want to feel better, yep. And if 0:16:12.081 --> 0:16:15.681 it's a new client, I won't. No, I might, I 0:16:15.841 --> 0:16:23.641 might do a little bit of yeah, but I won't 0:16:23.721 --> 0:16:28.281 do a lot or I'll focus on this skin correct 0:16:28.441 --> 0:16:32.641 first and foremost skin because I just think it's a 0:16:32.681 --> 0:16:36.081 real knee jerk reaction and there's more obviously going on. 0:16:36.281 --> 0:16:39.961 And I'm not about to take a lot of money 0:16:39.961 --> 0:16:44.041 from someone who's about to be paying for financial legal 0:16:44.081 --> 0:16:47.441 services and lord knows whatever else because they feel like 0:16:48.481 --> 0:16:51.561 shit because their partner's just up and you know, gone 0:16:51.561 --> 0:16:52.681 off with an eighteen year old. 0:16:53.641 --> 0:16:56.361 Do you get I'm sure you do. But I get 0:16:56.401 --> 0:16:59.961 a lot of people sometimes regular patients, they come in 0:17:00.001 --> 0:17:05.521 and they go, let's just do something. I need something. 0:17:06.681 --> 0:17:10.080 And then after consultation, I'm like, well, what are we 0:17:10.120 --> 0:17:14.640 wanting to work on? What can you see? Oh? I 0:17:14.761 --> 0:17:17.681 just want something. I always go back to skin, let's 0:17:17.681 --> 0:17:18.400 work on skin. 0:17:18.761 --> 0:17:21.160 So my I mean, I've been doing this for fifty 0:17:21.521 --> 0:17:25.760 twenty years. My clients now know not to ask that question, 0:17:26.360 --> 0:17:29.321 and they will never come in and go. And they 0:17:29.360 --> 0:17:36.561 also know now I won't treat too soon between anti 0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:40.921 wrinkle treatments because I explained to them that the product 0:17:40.961 --> 0:17:44.281 is still sitting between the nerve and the muscle, and 0:17:44.321 --> 0:17:47.640 therefore the product that is injected gets washed away and 0:17:47.681 --> 0:17:50.360 then the old one falls away, and then you start 0:17:50.360 --> 0:17:52.520 getting into that what they people used to call as 0:17:52.561 --> 0:17:56.440 a top up or a dosa just and I go, no, 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.961 don't do that, No, I send them away. And then 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.480 they come back and you know what, my clients now know. 0:18:03.521 --> 0:18:06.880 They will go, I just need to reschedule for a 0:18:06.921 --> 0:18:08.840 month's time because I know that's going to send me 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:12.321 away and I'm not quite jue yet. And it's so 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:16.481 wonderful because it's a about education, and no one ever 0:18:16.521 --> 0:18:19.160 comes in now and asks for unless it's a new patient. 0:18:19.281 --> 0:18:20.360 No one ever asked. 0:18:20.400 --> 0:18:22.521 I mean, the new patients always ask for top ups. 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:27.041 But I hate that phrase. 0:18:27.241 --> 0:18:31.041 It's yes, correct, and it's only two weeks and I'm. 0:18:30.921 --> 0:18:36.001 Sorry, it's exactly three weeks max. And for me it's 0:18:36.360 --> 0:18:39.680 I'm an underdoser. I think that's the safest way to 0:18:39.721 --> 0:18:41.960 play it, especially with me being an endorsed in ye 0:18:41.961 --> 0:18:47.641 old nurse, but speaking more as a whole as you'd 0:18:47.681 --> 0:18:51.881 know anti wrinkle, we can't take it back. No, no, 0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:55.920 And coming from a point of view of someone that 0:18:56.041 --> 0:19:00.080 inherently cares about people, I would not want that to 0:19:00.201 --> 0:19:02.721 happen to any of my patients or anyone. 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:06.201 Oh no, absolutely not. And at the end of the day, 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:13.160 as a prescribing nurse, it has to I have to 0:19:13.201 --> 0:19:15.521 prescribe for someone because it is. 0:19:15.441 --> 0:19:16.960 Something that they need correct. 0:19:17.721 --> 0:19:23.401 If there's no movement, then I'm prescribing for nothing exactly. 0:19:23.561 --> 0:19:28.721 So it also comes back to being an ethical prescriber. 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:29.600 I think so. 0:19:30.360 --> 0:19:35.680 And I think that's really really important. You touched on 0:19:35.801 --> 0:19:40.281 before about your own mental health journey. 0:19:40.321 --> 0:19:42.801 Are you comfortable to talk about it totally? I think 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:45.881 it's important to shed a light on that, especially in the. 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:49.841 Nursing space and especially male correct there's not many of us, 0:19:50.921 --> 0:19:52.681 so do you mind sharing. 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:59.241 Look, I've struggled my whole life. Without getting too into it, 0:20:00.921 --> 0:20:06.160 my family situation coming out was not easy. It's a 0:20:06.241 --> 0:20:09.121 very religious background there, and it caused a lot of drama, 0:20:09.521 --> 0:20:17.240 caused a lot of lack of confidence, lack of feeling worthy. 0:20:19.120 --> 0:20:23.801 I've obviously worked through that. I still struggle every day 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:31.321 with depression, and that's something that I have learned to manage, 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:40.281 obviously through the right medication, but also through mindfulness, through meditation, meditation. 0:20:40.921 --> 0:20:44.600 Oh my god, and you exercise that I do, so 0:20:44.681 --> 0:20:48.321 I try it well. I would like to exercise daily, 0:20:48.360 --> 0:20:51.680 but if I'm being honest, I exercise three times a 0:20:51.721 --> 0:20:52.600 week if I can. 0:20:55.241 --> 0:20:56.761 And do you see a psychologist? 0:20:57.201 --> 0:21:02.241 Do I see a counselor a psychologist and a psychiatrist? 0:21:03.521 --> 0:21:05.880 So yeah, the called Trio. 0:21:06.321 --> 0:21:11.920 So last week a lovely young friend of mine, she 0:21:11.961 --> 0:21:13.721 was a very good friend with my daughter and played 0:21:13.721 --> 0:21:20.080 water Apollo. She came on the podcast and Alice was 0:21:20.120 --> 0:21:23.281 talking about as an lead athlete that you know she's 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:27.240 She was laughing about her whole life. She has you know, 0:21:27.561 --> 0:21:32.001 family psychologists, sporting psychologists, another sporting psychologist like goes on 0:21:32.041 --> 0:21:34.400 and on and on, and it has got her to 0:21:34.521 --> 0:21:39.400 where it got her to the Olympics in the right headspace. 0:21:39.441 --> 0:21:42.600 But what was interesting was that she realized that she 0:21:42.681 --> 0:21:47.041 had to see a family psychologist to work on other 0:21:47.120 --> 0:21:51.801 issues that a sporting psychologist couldn't help her with. So 0:21:52.080 --> 0:21:57.080 in my mind, you saw the psychiatrist for your medications. 0:21:58.281 --> 0:22:03.200 You see the psychologist and for someone to download to 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:06.880 and to, you know, worrying you to get off your chest. 0:22:06.961 --> 0:22:09.961 And the counselor would be similar. I would have change. 0:22:10.721 --> 0:22:16.521 Every day issues. Counselor is why did I react like that? 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:21.921 Trying to get that background of why did I get 0:22:21.921 --> 0:22:25.080 so angry? Or why did I let that person walk 0:22:25.120 --> 0:22:29.481 over me? Why didn't I say the boundary? Correct? Correct? 0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:33.641 Do you think? In And this is something I've really 0:22:33.681 --> 0:22:38.321 struggled with and caused a serious issue with burnout an 0:22:38.561 --> 0:22:42.880 alcohol few years back. I just couldn't say no. I 0:22:42.880 --> 0:22:45.720 couldn't say no any patient. I couldn't say no. I 0:22:45.761 --> 0:22:50.240 just couldn't say no because I'm so worried that you 0:22:50.281 --> 0:22:52.720 know that that go to the next person, or that 0:22:52.721 --> 0:22:59.041 I wouldn't be good enough for saying no, And sending 0:22:59.241 --> 0:23:01.241 boundaries is very hard for me. 0:23:01.241 --> 0:23:05.681 Me too. Professionally, I can say no, I can say 0:23:05.721 --> 0:23:08.321 no to piller, I can say no to other medications, 0:23:09.041 --> 0:23:13.200 but I cannot say no personally. And I don't know 0:23:13.241 --> 0:23:17.960 if that comes from that nurturing side of me. The 0:23:18.001 --> 0:23:21.080 reason why I wanted to get into nursing, the drive 0:23:21.241 --> 0:23:27.440 to help people. But my husband's also helped me understand this. 0:23:28.041 --> 0:23:33.561 I can't help people add a detriment to myself. But 0:23:33.681 --> 0:23:36.441 we do, though, but we do so. 0:23:36.441 --> 0:23:41.480 So I when what is your relationship with your family? Now? 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:45.641 It's great now. You know my dad passed away about 0:23:46.001 --> 0:23:49.841 eight years ago. Now it was a complicated relationship. Yeah, 0:23:50.640 --> 0:23:53.241 but I was very fortunate. About about a week after 0:23:53.360 --> 0:23:56.041 you passed, I met my now husband. 0:23:56.880 --> 0:23:59.681 Yeah, so it's like your dad passed. 0:23:59.321 --> 0:24:05.761 And kind of I mean I used to joke with 0:24:05.840 --> 0:24:08.880 him that, you know, I said, oh, my dad passed, 0:24:08.921 --> 0:24:10.600 So you know, you can never leave me now because 0:24:10.721 --> 0:24:11.521 I've got issues. 0:24:15.120 --> 0:24:19.801 And when you came out to your family, how old 0:24:19.840 --> 0:24:25.241 were you? So? I was eighteen, And I just want 0:24:25.281 --> 0:24:27.521 to say, I hate the idea of and it's such 0:24:27.561 --> 0:24:30.801 a I feel like it's an old fashioned term because 0:24:30.921 --> 0:24:33.961 totally someone the other week, someone young I heard them saying, 0:24:35.120 --> 0:24:36.881 what do you mean came out? What does that mean? 0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:38.281 Why don't you just always what you are? 0:24:38.561 --> 0:24:41.961 So I think in some ways it is an archaic term. 0:24:42.201 --> 0:24:45.840 I don't think as someone that identifies as a gay man, 0:24:47.561 --> 0:24:49.441 I don't think there should be a need to come out. 0:24:50.201 --> 0:24:54.161 I mean, the point of equality and inclusivity is that 0:24:54.201 --> 0:24:59.201 we're all the same. So why should one particular person 0:24:59.360 --> 0:25:03.920 from a particular group have to say, Hey, this is 0:25:03.921 --> 0:25:10.161 who I sleep with. It's not no one's business. So unfortunately, 0:25:12.321 --> 0:25:15.201 it was not as acceptable as it is now when 0:25:15.241 --> 0:25:19.041 I came out, and I didn't come out by choice. 0:25:19.041 --> 0:25:24.680 I was unfortunately outed. Oh god, yeah, and that caused 0:25:26.360 --> 0:25:29.640 a lot of drama and a lot of issues within 0:25:29.721 --> 0:25:33.121 my family and you and me and. 0:25:35.241 --> 0:25:42.441 I would assume that said ongoing issues, correct, yep? Why 0:25:42.441 --> 0:25:44.561