1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Gooda. Welcome to the show. This is better than yesterday. 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 2: Useful tools and useful ideas to make your day to 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 2: day better than it was yesterday, every single week since 4 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 2: twenty thirteen. 5 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: My name is Oshi Ginsburg and I'm very very. 6 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 2: Glad you are here. I have big news around So 7 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 2: what now what? The brand new book is also a 8 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 2: brand new live show. All the technical stuff is coming 9 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,759 Speaker 2: into place, and we will have an announcement of tour 10 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 2: dates coming up at the end of next week. I'm 11 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 2: looking to a live stream to announce those tour dates, 12 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 2: hopefully show you a bit of the tech, a bit 13 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 2: of the you know, how the motion capture is working, 14 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 2: and how the animation is happening, because it's if you 15 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 2: don't know. I've got a new book out. The lead 16 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 2: character is a glove. I want to go on the road. 17 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 2: How do you go on the road when the lead 18 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 2: character is a glove? You make a puppet up like 19 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 2: life sized human puppet. No, you hack a VA headset 20 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,919 Speaker 2: and puppet it on a screen. And that's how you 21 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 2: do it. And it's looking to be pretty good so far, 22 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 2: and I can't wait to show you that. 23 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: There will be discounts. I'll offer discounts on the night. 24 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 2: Tickets will be on sale and you can also what 25 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 2: you've able to do is buy a ticket and a book. 26 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 2: Every show will be assigning After the show, Cam's going 27 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 2: to come as well. Cam Walker, who illustrated the book. 28 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 2: He will be able to sign copies of Doom and Bloom, 29 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 2: his latest book as well. So it'll be a big night, 30 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 2: me and Cam and you and it'll be really lovely. 31 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: Details coming very very soon. 32 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 2: But if you want to see something live and you 33 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 2: want to be in the same room together, we can 34 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 2: do that. On the seventh of September, story Club comes 35 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: back to Merrickville. It's the live storytelling show that I 36 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 2: put on every month. It's at the Factory Theater in Merrickville. 37 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 2: If you cannot make it to the Factory Theater in Americville, 38 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 2: if it's prohibitively far and away, if you live in 39 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 2: Bulkham Hills or Parramatta or rock Hampton and you can't 40 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 2: actually get there, fear not. We have a story Club 41 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 2: or film every show. We record every show and you 42 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 2: can get full video versions of every story on the 43 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,040 Speaker 2: substack to subscribers. You can get it right there. The 44 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 2: link is in the show notes. The next show has 45 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 2: some brilliant guests. Greta Lee Jackson is joining us. 46 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 1: You know her. 47 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 2: She's a radio host. She's a comedian. You'll amaze. 48 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: She was in an active ware video. You can't forget 49 00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: that one. She's amazing. 50 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 2: Nigel Marsh he wrote Fat forty and five, Fit fifty 51 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 2: and fantastic. He's a fucking great bloke. He's been on 52 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 2: the show before. Niger Marsh is telling an amazing story. 53 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 2: Kevin Han's on the show. He's a stand up. He's 54 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 2: a screenwriter. He's currently making it rather large TV. 55 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 1: Series in Western Sydney. 56 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 2: Sashi Pereira, a stand up chemick and an author, will 57 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 2: be there as well as John Glover and my delightful 58 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: John Glover a part of the NTNN Editing news show. 59 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,639 Speaker 1: Right now, he's on stage in Edinburgh. 60 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 2: I think as we speak he's doing the very final 61 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 2: performance of Breaking the musical, which is not at all 62 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,239 Speaker 2: anything to do with Ray Gun the Olympian who Break 63 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 2: danced and has not at all had a massive sold 64 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 2: out show every night in Edinburgh. And he's doing fantastically. 65 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 2: But he's beautiful and I love him, and he will 66 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,079 Speaker 2: be telling us the story. He told the story on 67 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 2: story Club years ago. He was but a teenager, but 68 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 2: he story clubs in running a while. It'll be a 69 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,119 Speaker 2: fantastic night, seventh September, part of Sydney Fringe Comedy. I'd 70 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 2: love you to be there linkers in the show notes. 71 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,839 Speaker 2: As a part of that, I would love to take 72 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 2: you now. I've told a couple of stories on this 73 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 2: show before, but I have never actually played you what 74 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 2: happens on the night, and so I'd like to play 75 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 2: you a story. 76 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,440 Speaker 1: It's got nothing to do with right now. 77 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:12,799 Speaker 2: It is August, but I'm going to bring you a 78 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 2: story from our show that we did right before Christmas. 79 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 2: But I'm going to take you to the Comedy Store 80 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 2: in Sydney right after this. 81 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the show, So. 82 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 2: Come now with me to the world favorite Sydney comedy store, 83 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 2: sitting in a big chair wearing a lovely shirt. You 84 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 2: can watch this whole story on the substack if you 85 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 2: want to be a subscriber. This will give you an 86 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 2: idea of what story Club's all about. Less than fifteen 87 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 2: hundred words and a true story on the theme the 88 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 2: most wonderful time of year. It's nearly midnight on a 89 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 2: summer's even Brisbane, somewhere, somehow, I don't know, the night 90 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 2: before Christmas in Brisbane, always moist. My elder brother and 91 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 2: I are loudly digging the bells on our brand new 92 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 2: super shiny BMX bikes as we ride them SOM's helmet 93 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 2: down our street. The Nintendo w of nineteen eighty two. 94 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 2: These freedom machines had been delivered with a wink by 95 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 2: our parents. Because look, as I am now a very 96 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 2: mature eight year old, I now of course Santa does 97 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 2: not exist. But I don't care whatsoever, because this is 98 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 2: the one night of the year that all the teasing 99 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: and the mockery that I get at my school finally 100 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 2: finally pays off. Every brutal insult based upon the umlauts 101 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 2: in my last name, or the smell when I open 102 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 2: my lunchbox is about to be vindicated. My lunchbox has 103 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 2: a particular pong which can only arrive when said lunchbox 104 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 2: is packed with the stinky cheeses and smoked meats from 105 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 2: my parents' home Guntrie, and when you leave it in 106 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 2: a school bag and the stinking Queen's Land sun. When 107 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 2: that bell rings and the lid comes off. 108 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,560 Speaker 1: Who took a shit in your lunchbox? 109 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 2: Kings Bob, Yeah yeah, laugh it up, Skippy, because come 110 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 2: Christmas Eve, I know that my Eurocentric nature would you 111 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 2: find such amusement and will pay off when, according to tradition, 112 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 2: I will get my presence on Christmas Eve, a whole 113 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 2: ten hours before you, you motherfucker. The rain from the 114 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 2: afternoon thunderstorm evaporates off the still warm tarmac. 115 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 1: My brother and. 116 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 2: I giggling and dinging our bells so much. Our similarly 117 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 2: aged neighbors from across the street come charging out in 118 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 2: their summer pajamas to investigate the ruckus. The Cruel Desire 119 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 2: Team at best and less, never really thought to put 120 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 2: a button on the fly of their summer pajamas. Young 121 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 2: man in the front rower is nodding because he knows 122 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 2: the pain. Because it's not uncommon for a pre pubescent 123 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 2: penis to come dangling out as you walk over for breakfast, 124 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 2: your mum never missing a moment to drop the line 125 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,920 Speaker 2: good morning and good morning to you morning glory. Yeah, 126 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 2: thanks mom, Yeah, you're seven, like thanks. Thankfully there were 127 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: no trouser snakes staring back at us that night, Just 128 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:21,279 Speaker 2: three kids in stunned, stunned silence with a look of envy, 129 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 2: just delicious to drink in. The only sound piercing that 130 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 2: silence the dinging bells calling into the thick night air. 131 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 2: Suck shit, dickheads getting older. Christmas meant less about presents, 132 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: and then more about cricket, then less about cricket, more 133 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 2: about booze, and then just all about booze. Moving away 134 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 2: to Sydney as a single man, I get pretty cynical 135 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 2: about the whole thing, and I start to resent Mariah's 136 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 2: early release from her crayo chamber. The day after Halloween, 137 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 2: I knew I'd gone too far with my grinchiness. The 138 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 2: day that I answered the question of the young Filipino 139 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 2: lady who'd been trained to ask ask me that question 140 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 2: working at the local IgA. Oh and how are you? 141 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 2: And I answered there, We're terrible. These carols are really oppressive. 142 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 2: What if I don't celebrate Christmas? This is really over 143 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 2: the top. She looked at me with sadness, the enormous pity, 144 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 2: and she says, Oh, I will pray for you. I 145 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 2: got my wish. 146 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: One year. 147 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 2: I work up on December twenty fifth to the sound 148 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 2: of heavy traffic and jackhammers working on the building site 149 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 2: next door to the hotel I was staying at in 150 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 2: Tel Aviv. I was most confused. I mean, Jesus was Jewish. 151 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 2: Surely there was some nod here to the King of 152 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 2: the Jews. Apparently not. After much exploration, the only place 153 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 2: I actually found Christmas decorations was way up in Nazareth, 154 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 2: where apparently Jesus was from. 155 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: However, two things. 156 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 2: Were really incongruent with what I had been led to 157 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 2: believe for hundreds and hundreds of years. Nazareth is a 158 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 2: village with a population of Christian Arabs, so all of 159 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 2: the Christmas decorations there were in Arabic. And Secondly, the 160 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 2: Jesus that I had seen on the picture of every 161 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 2: wall of every classroom that I'd ever been in from 162 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 2: my entire life was a significantly lesser shade of brown 163 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 2: than any of the people that I saw here, whose 164 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 2: lineage goes back hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. 165 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 2: On my further adventures in this most complicated of countries, 166 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 2: I discovered a few other anomalies about the stories I've 167 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 2: been raised on, including that the very first mention of 168 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 2: the man whose Birthday. The Presents Are all for was 169 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 2: written by a bloke called Paul twenty five years after 170 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 2: this guy died. Jesus that guy is, and of course 171 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 2: Jesus a man this guy Paul had never actually met. 172 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 2: And then there was the magnificent tale of Jesus's foreskin 173 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 2: you see, being a good Jewish boy. On the eighth day, 174 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 2: after he was away in a manger with no crib 175 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 2: for a bed, Jesus was circumcised. However, when he ascend 176 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 2: it to you heaven, this was the only part of 177 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,559 Speaker 2: his body that didn't get a ticket through the pearly gates. 178 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 2: Thus was born the religious relic, the Holy Propuse. And 179 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 2: at one stage, no less this is true, no less 180 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 2: than eighteen separate churches across Europe claimed to have this 181 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 2: most sacred slice of their savior as a handy lure 182 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 2: to encourage that big fat pilgrim dollar. Until the seventeenth century, 183 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 2: all that moraarkey was put to rest when the Vatican 184 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 2: Library posed that when the Big Guy ascended, so too 185 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 2: did the Holy Propuse. And that mister Galilea, with your 186 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,719 Speaker 2: fancy new telescope, that is what you see when you 187 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 2: look up at Saturn and you see a ring around it. Sir, 188 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 2: you are actually seeing the assented into heaven foreskin of Jesus. 189 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 2: Our book is the only book. Your book is banned. 190 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 2: People are allowed to believe whatever they want to believe. 191 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: But all this really pulled the rugout from under me. 192 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 2: Like what am I supposed to do with this entire 193 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,200 Speaker 2: month of my year? Not engaged at all? Like so 194 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 2: many Christmas movies you claim to have never ever watched 195 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 2: until you're on a plane and are crying, I too, 196 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:23,439 Speaker 2: had somebody save Christmas for me. It's the end of 197 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 2: twenty fifteen and I've been with my girlfriend Audrey for 198 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 2: a little over a year, back in Australia for some work. 199 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,439 Speaker 2: Over the summer. I am staying with her and her 200 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 2: now eleven year old daughter Georgia in their apartment. It's 201 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 2: a weekend, not long before the school year ends, and 202 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 2: g says, let's put up the Christmas tree. It had 203 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 2: been nearly twenty years since I've done anything remotely like this. 204 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,839 Speaker 2: Audrey went down to the garage brought up the clip 205 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 2: top bunnings boxes containing the tree and all the tinsel 206 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 2: and the baubles and the lights, and like any long 207 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 2: standing family tradition. What happened next required no interaction, no direction, 208 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 2: Audrey and g moving as if they've rehearsed the entire 209 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 2: thing from the cupbo in her room. Gee retrieves a 210 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 2: perfectly crisp, fluffy, red and white elf hat. She dons 211 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 2: it immediately an Audrey plugged in the ox cord into 212 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 2: her phone to initiate the startup sequence which would wake 213 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:20,079 Speaker 2: Mariah from her deep space hyper sleep. The same song 214 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 2: which flooded my body with cynical rivers of derision only 215 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,280 Speaker 2: a few years prior, started to change meaning for me 216 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 2: quicker than Miss Carey could unnecessarily sing every note of 217 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 2: her five octive vocal range on the way toward actual 218 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,599 Speaker 2: melody before she could write her list and set it 219 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 2: off to Saint Nick. Georgia and I were dancing around 220 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 2: the living room. The twelves and kicks of my eleven 221 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 2: year old dance kiitter hard to keep up with, but 222 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 2: I masked my inability to move in a coordinated fashion 223 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,680 Speaker 2: by combining gumby pirouettes with throwing tinsel on the tree 224 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 2: and hanging baubles like a I was a lowly paid 225 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 2: extra and a soft focused karaoke video. By the time 226 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 2: we'd hit the fade on the final chorus, the tree 227 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 2: was decorated in spectacular fashion. We were both breath from 228 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:04,439 Speaker 2: dancing at Audrey breathless with laughter. A few weeks later, 229 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,600 Speaker 2: I'm back in my apartment in Venice Beach thinking about 230 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 2: these two one off of humans and exactly what the 231 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 2: fuck it is I'm doing with my life. I'd moved 232 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 2: to America ten years before to play for the Grand 233 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 2: prize hosting primetime network television, a feat that I had 234 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 2: partly accomplished. However, the expected torrent of dollars and work 235 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 2: offers never actually arrive, and the industry begins to shift 236 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 2: beneath me. I lose a live hosting gig to Mario Lopez, 237 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,079 Speaker 2: who until then had been an actor and saved by 238 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 2: the bell. Then I lose a reality competition show to 239 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 2: a wrestler, John Cena. I mean, you can't even see. 240 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: Him, Thank you. 241 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 2: I quickly pivot to pitching TV format so the very 242 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 2: same people I had recently been auditioning for. This was 243 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 2: really interesting, but much like Broadway, you can't make a living, 244 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 2: but you can make a killing. Everything's on spec until 245 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 2: you get a green light and if you get picked 246 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 2: up by the territories, well then it's moneytime, baby. So 247 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 2: I'm surprised when I realized that this is something I 248 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 2: actually no longer want. Out on a bicycle trip in 249 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 2: the mountains one day, where all of my good ideas 250 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 2: show up, I have a realization. I'd moved to America 251 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 2: to chase the dream of a twenty nine year old 252 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: version of me, but forty two year old me didn't 253 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 2: want that dream anymore. What I wanted was the breathless 254 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 2: feeling of joy dancing around the living room with g 255 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 2: just making Audrey laugh. Somewhere between a mountain and Malibu 256 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 2: and my apartment by the beach, I realized what I 257 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 2: wanted out of life had changed. I made up my 258 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 2: mind there and then to give back my green card 259 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 2: and move back to Australia. There was nothing the TV 260 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,559 Speaker 2: industry could offer me that was as good as what 261 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 2: life with these two was like. Now, this is a 262 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 2: time of year which for me has nothing to do 263 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 2: with the Jewish son of a chippy who gets born 264 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,199 Speaker 2: on the same day every year, yet curiously dies on 265 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 2: a different day every year. This is a time of 266 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 2: year to celebrate the relationships which mattered to me my 267 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,960 Speaker 2: life to ride a bicycle through the streets with my 268 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 2: son dinging my bell and dance around the room to 269 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 2: Mariah like the unco step dad that I am. Audrey 270 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:14,559 Speaker 2: and George's delight now replaced with something even more magical. 271 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 2: Their eye rolling and groans are, as far as I'm concerned, 272 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 2: the most delicious Christmas food of all. I hope you 273 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 2: enjoyed that. I hope you've got a vibe. I hope 274 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 2: you understood bit more what the show's about. It's lovely. 275 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 2: We all get together and tell stories, and it's really, 276 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 2: really lovely. It's way better than sitting around just fingering 277 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 2: your phone. You can get tickets in the show notes, 278 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 2: and I'd love to see you. Their story Club is 279 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 2: a really wonderful night and I'm grateful to be producing it. 280 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,320 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being a part of this 281 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 2: show today, and I'll see your Wednesday.