1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: I get a team. I hope you're bloody terrific. A 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 1: few updates before I get underweight. So I had a 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: couple of people send me feedback about episodes. It was 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,079 Speaker 1: all good, by the way, and a few people. I 5 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: get lots of emails about different things, So I thought, 6 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: rather than rather than answering all of those individually and 7 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: keeping people guessing. I'm sure most of you are not guessing, 8 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: maybe don't even care. But for those of you who 9 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: want to know what the show, the new project might 10 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: look like in twenty twenty five, and my plans moving forward, 11 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: keeping in mind that we're heading towards two thousand shows, 12 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: and I'm always thinking about like, I don't want to 13 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: do shows for the sake of doing shows. I don't 14 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: want to have conversations that are not adding value or 15 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: not potentially adding value. Having said that, of course, I 16 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: acknowledge that over the course of seventeen hundred and eighty 17 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: odd shows or whatever, at as of this episode, of course, 18 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: some conversation is going to be more and less engaging, 19 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: more and less valuable to you the audience. Have I 20 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: loved every conversation that I've had, of course I haven't 21 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: have I disagreed with people that I've had on of course, 22 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: that's part of the human experience, and I will continue 23 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: to and we don't need to align or agree do 24 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: I think every work that I've put out here has 25 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: been a masterpiece. Far from it, Probably very few, if 26 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: any masterpieces. But I'm always conscious of trying to be 27 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: authentic with what I do, trying to share content that 28 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: is going to be hopefully valuable and relevant to the 29 00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: biggest percentage of people that listen as possible. Having said that, 30 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: sometimes I feel compelled to talk about a particular topic. 31 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,640 Speaker 1: It's like sometimes I write a whiteboard post. If you 32 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: follow me on Instagram, you know exactly what I'm talking about. 33 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,799 Speaker 1: I write things on my whiteboard, take a photo of it, 34 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: like I might be a thought, an idea, a message, 35 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: a strategy, and then I post it. And some of those, 36 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: some of the cheeky, funny ones that have got a 37 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: fuck or a shit or some kind of you know, 38 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: swearing word in it, or some kind of humorous idea 39 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: or you know, something that's a little bit controversial. Quite 40 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: often that's the stuff that takes off. Not always. Sometimes 41 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: I'll write something which for me is really important and 42 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: profound and relevant and powerful for me, and I write it, 43 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: I put it on the whiteboard, and I know that 44 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 1: it's not going to be well, it's not going to 45 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 1: get the same level of attention as a lot of 46 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: others or the same level of approval I guess, you know, 47 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: ticks and likes and feedback and comments from one of them. 48 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: But nonetheless, it kind of aligns with who I am 49 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,919 Speaker 1: and how I am, and I just think I always 50 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: think there's going to be someone, even if it's one 51 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 1: or two people that needed to hear this or read this. 52 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: And with that in mind, I did an episode the 53 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 1: other day, Episode seventeen, one hundred and seventy five. I 54 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,679 Speaker 1: think it was called the Proximity of Death or yeah, 55 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: the Proximity of Death in the Proximity of Death, Yeah, 56 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: And I got a lot of feedback. I got a 57 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: lot of dms, I got a lot of messages through 58 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: Facebook and through Insta and some emails. And it's interesting 59 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: because I think overall it probably wasn't any more popular 60 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: or well received overall, but you know, it's something that 61 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: has been in front of mine, just dealing with death 62 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: and dying and people who were sick and unwell and 63 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: just thinking about, you know, not obsessing about or worrying about, 64 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: but being mindful of, you know, my own mortality and 65 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:03,119 Speaker 1: other people's mortality, and the fact that in our culture 66 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: we tend not to talk about it a lot, and 67 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: probably we don't need to talk about it a lot, 68 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: but maybe there are times when we do need to 69 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: talk about it a bit more than we do. And anyway, 70 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: so I did this, I did this monologue, and for 71 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: some people it really resonated. So moving forward, and so 72 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: thank you for the feedback. Thank you for the feedback. 73 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: And by the way, we have we have a Facebook 74 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: page that I've told you about before, and if you 75 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: want to contribute to or maybe inform or influence what 76 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: might come up on the project. And I'm not promising 77 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: anything other than I definitely read everything. I definitely take 78 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: it on board. And my main I guess factor or 79 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: consideration is will this idea or this top be generally 80 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: will it be relevant to a fair few people? And 81 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: there are things that fascinate me, but I wouldn't do 82 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,799 Speaker 1: a podcast on it because I know it's not going 83 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: to be relevant to too many people. And while you know, 84 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: I just said a minute ago that there are some 85 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: that might not be of interest. But even like, for example, 86 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,200 Speaker 1: I knew when I did the episode on the in 87 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: the Proximity of Death, Put your Teeth in Harps, I 88 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 1: knew that while some people might not press play because 89 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 1: they don't want to think about it or hear about 90 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,560 Speaker 1: it death, some would And then I knew that for 91 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: a So if it's that, if it's kind of that, 92 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 1: you know, dynamic, then I think I'll go ahead with it. 93 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: But there are other things that I could talk about 94 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: that are passionate or a passion project or an area 95 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: of passion for me that I know is not generally 96 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: relevant or particularly helpful, So I'll probably never do podcasts 97 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: on that stuff. Somebody asked me about how I choose guests. 98 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 1: So I get a constant, pretty constant stream of emails 99 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: from people and contact from people who want to be 100 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 1: on the show. And we're not you know, we're not 101 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 1: the Joe Rogan experience, we're not NBC, we're not each 102 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 1: Channel seven or nine, but we have a pretty good audience. 103 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: We have thousands of listeners a day, and we have 104 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 1: a very loyal listener base. Thank you, and I'm for me. 105 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: It's really about what's going to be good for the audience, 106 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: and so at this time of the year, like right now, 107 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 1: it is difficult to get people that because a lot 108 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: of people are away, a lot of people are not 109 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: available or contactable understandably, So getting what I would call 110 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: high quality guests at this time of the year, as 111 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: in brand new people that you've never met through the 112 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: Youth Project, it's tricky. So I've changed my model a 113 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: little bit this year, and we're going to continue to 114 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: have new people, but we're going to also tap into 115 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: the pre existing typ regulars in a more significant way. 116 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: So some of them that you know, like David Gillespie 117 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: that we get pretty much only good feedback about. Doesn't 118 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: mean everyone likes him, but most people do. Most of 119 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: you find him interesting, a little bit provocative. He doesn't 120 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: get everything right, like none of us get everything right, 121 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: but he you know, I really enjoy the conversations with him, 122 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: even though he shoots me to bits half the time. 123 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,080 Speaker 1: That's that's good for my ego, isn't it. But I 124 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: like that. And doctor Denise Finess that we had on 125 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 1: Oh I think she's up today As I record this 126 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: twenty six of the first which is a Sunday, and 127 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: a lot of our regular guests doctor Bill Sullivan from 128 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: the States, people that are really good at what they 129 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: do and they kind of provide insight into things that 130 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: are broadly relevant fast, So we're going to have lots 131 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: of those people on. I feel like I'm waffling now, 132 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: I apologize. I'm going to keep doing solo ones. Sometimes 133 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: I feel a bit awkward in that I'm like, do 134 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: people really want to listen to me talk essentially to 135 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: myself or to of course I'm talking to you, but 136 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: you know, me just banging on doing basically a fucking 137 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: thirty minute monologue. And if it was only up to 138 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: what I think, I probably would not do many at all. 139 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: But every time I do a not every time, but 140 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 1: nearly every time I do one of these, I have 141 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: several people say, Craig, I prefer those over interviews. I 142 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,240 Speaker 1: like the teaching, I like the workshop kind of vibe. 143 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: I like you, I like kind of being mentored by you. 144 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,520 Speaker 1: That's what it feels like for me, So please keep 145 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 1: those up. And then other people understandably like, nah, I 146 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: want to hear other people. I'm fucking sick of you. 147 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: And whichever camp you're in or maybe you're in another camp. 148 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: That's all good. So but for this year, we're going 149 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,839 Speaker 1: to use tap into our regulars. That's going to happen 150 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 1: a little bit more people that I know that you enjoy, 151 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 1: people that don't know that bring value. I'm going to 152 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: do some solo ones, and of course we're going to 153 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: be talking to brand new people and people that have 154 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: never insected with the U Project. So if you're not 155 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: on the Facebook page, our Facebook page, of course, it's 156 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 1: just the U Project Facebook page, jump in there. If 157 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: you want to be part of that, feel free to 158 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,679 Speaker 1: send a message, leave a message. We have over three 159 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 1: and a half thousand people in there, and to be honest, 160 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: it gets used and people comment, and I would love 161 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: it to be used even more than it is, and 162 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: not because there's any commercial reason for that. There's no hooks, 163 00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 1: catches or agendas. There's no cost, there's no sales pictures, 164 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: not more than there is on any other thing anyway 165 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: of mine. I try not to do too many sales 166 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 1: pictures or promos because I want it to be just 167 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,080 Speaker 1: a genuine I want that to be a place where 168 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: people like minded people can go and go, hey, i'm 169 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: reading this book that's fucking amazing. Has anyone else read 170 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: this book? Or I read this book because anyone got 171 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: another suggestion for me in the area of xyz? Or 172 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 1: can someone recommend what I should watch on Netflix that's 173 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: going to be a little bit uplifting and funny? Or 174 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: Craig did this conversation called the Proximity of Death? What 175 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: did you think about that? Had it? You know whatever? 176 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,599 Speaker 1: I don't know a little bit of an online community 177 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 1: for people to get together who, in general terms, might 178 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: have a similar energy and focus in that we want 179 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 1: to do better, think better, be better humans. I would 180 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: love to create a space which is more positive, a 181 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: more positive online space than is what we see a 182 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 1: lot of in that kind of virtual world these days. 183 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 1: Having said all of that, my last thing before I 184 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: actually talk to you is what is it? Oh? Yes, 185 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: feb three, which is not too far away, is my news. 186 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 1: So not Monday, you might well, it's a Monday night 187 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: as I record, It's Tomorrow night week so eight days 188 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: from now. But February three is my new mentoring program. 189 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 1: It might be for you, it might not be for you. 190 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: It's not cheap. We're not giving that shit away. But 191 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: a lot of people that have done it have really 192 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,440 Speaker 1: got a lot out of it and gone on to 193 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:38,520 Speaker 1: do bigger and better things. There's no sales pitch in that. 194 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: There's just me telling you what's coming up. If you 195 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: want to see what that looks like. There's a ten 196 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: week overview. It's ten weeks, it's Monday nights. There's literally 197 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 1: a syllabus that I've created so for me, quite the 198 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: groundbreaking approach because I'm bloody, you know, Freddie freestyle. So 199 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: I've actually created a syllabus for the next one. So 200 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: every week we're going to work on focus on talk 201 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: about explore a predetermined area or topic relating to the 202 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: human experience. Just go to my website, Craikcarpa dot net, 203 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: go to education, have a look at that. All right, 204 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:15,319 Speaker 1: today we're talking about and thanks for still being here, 205 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: the three of you that are talking about this propensity 206 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:27,120 Speaker 1: that we have to be proactive, not reactive. Sorry, sorry, 207 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: say that again, harps. Reactive not proactive. In other words, 208 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: why we often not all of us, but often we 209 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: wait for shit to go bad, or for shit to break, 210 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: or for the catastrophe to happen before we do something, 211 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: Before we take action on the thing that we knew 212 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 1: we should have taken action on. And that could be 213 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: a thing with our career, it could be a thing 214 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: with our money. It could be a thing with our body, 215 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: or our fitness more specifically, or our diet more specifically, 216 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: or a relationship not necessarily thoroughly a romantic one. I'll 217 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: say that again with my teeth in not necessarily a 218 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:11,200 Speaker 1: romantic one. But the truth is that you and I 219 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: are always getting data. And if you think about your 220 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 1: life as like an ongoing kind of experiment, which in 221 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,440 Speaker 1: a way it is, because we're trying things and learning things. 222 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: We're doing things and getting outcomes, and the outcomes our results. 223 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: That is our data that is telling us well. Craig, 224 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: For example, I know there was a time in my 225 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 1: life when my behavior, my operating system, my protocol was 226 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 1: eating way too much food and eating way more food 227 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: or putting way too much energy into my body than 228 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 1: my body needed. Now that was my behavior, that was 229 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:53,839 Speaker 1: my operating system, and the outcome of that was obesity. 230 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 1: The outcome of that was that I was morbidly obese. 231 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 1: I was overweight, I was un healthy, I was unhappy. 232 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: And not only was there this physical consequence as a 233 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,559 Speaker 1: result of the things that I've been doing, But there 234 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:13,319 Speaker 1: was also an emotional and psychological and behavioral consequence. Now 235 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: I knew, And I'm just using me as an example set, 236 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: don't get upset, And it doesn't need to be about 237 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: body weight or fat or obesity, if it can be 238 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: about anything. But I'm just using this as a practical example, right, 239 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 1: And I think back, Now, I think about why did 240 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: I Why was I doing that thing that didn't work? 241 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: And I think all of us and am I right 242 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: now in my life? Am I currently doing something that 243 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: doesn't work? Or am I currently doing something which is 244 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: perhaps not optimal for me? Yes? I am? I am 245 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm sure nothing right now springs to mind, but I 246 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 1: know I'm not doing everything optimal. But there are times 247 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: when I've got There have been times in my life 248 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: where I was actually doing stuff that I knew fucking stupid. 249 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 1: I knew that over the long term, this is bad, 250 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: This is not good, this is unhealthy. This is not 251 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: aligned with my values or my goals. This doesn't sit 252 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: right with who I want to be and how I 253 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: want to be. And there were times when as an 254 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: exercise scientist and jim owner and person with a profile 255 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 1: where I was and I've said this before, but I 256 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: was literally telling people to do things that I couldn't 257 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: even fucking manage to do myself. So what I was 258 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: pretending to be that the persona of me, the high performance, disciplined, 259 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: in control, you know, educated exercise science guy, away from 260 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: the persona of that, the actual person, the human, the psychological, emotional, 261 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 1: you know, physiological creature that is me. I was eating 262 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: shit and doing dumb shit and producing bad outcomes. And 263 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: in the middle of that was self loathing and shitty 264 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: self esteem and embarrassment and fear that people would find 265 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 1: out in all of that and that may or not 266 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: in some way relate to you. And so the thing is, 267 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: why do we do this? Like, why do we do 268 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: dumb shit that doesn't work? And why do we wait 269 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: for shit to break? Why do we wait for things 270 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 1: to fall apart? Often not all of us, not all 271 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: of the time, but why do so many of us 272 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: so often wait for the shit to hit the fan 273 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: or the catastrophe to actually go, Oh I'm that fuck, 274 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 1: I'm changing, I'm doing it. What is that about? And 275 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: so I want to unpack that a little bit because 276 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: I think you know there are a bunch of reasons. 277 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,080 Speaker 1: And again, this is not what I'm giving you. Is 278 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: not a three step plan, it's not a cure, it's 279 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: not a miracle anything. As always, this is just me 280 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: thinking out loud. This is me just talking to you 281 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 1: about how I think this stuff works based on my 282 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 1: own flawed nature and behavior and journey, my own experience 283 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: of fucking up and getting up, and also on a 284 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 1: professional level, my experience working with thousands of people who 285 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,480 Speaker 1: all want the same thing on a level, and that 286 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: thing is to be better. Now, of course, better means 287 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,919 Speaker 1: different things for different people, but better in terms of 288 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be healthy. 289 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: Everyone wants to be happy. Nobody wants to be miserable, 290 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,920 Speaker 1: Nobody wants to be unhealthy, nobody wants a shit job, 291 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,160 Speaker 1: nobody wants to be broken. Right, So we all on 292 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,400 Speaker 1: a level. And I'm not saying necessarily that a great 293 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: body or a great bank account equals nirvana or happiness. No, 294 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 1: but I think there's a commonality across the board of 295 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 1: the things that we want, and we want to be 296 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: physically and mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially in a good place. 297 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 1: But Nonetheless, so many of us, so much of the 298 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:08,879 Speaker 1: time self sabotage. That is, we do shit which is stupid. 299 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 1: I could make it more complicated, I'm not going to. 300 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: But based on who and how we want to be 301 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 1: and what we know matters, we do stuff that is 302 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: somewhat somewhere between stupid and toxic and self destructive. An 303 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,679 Speaker 1: obvious one being, you know, putting crap in our body, 304 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: and whether or not that crap is booze or drugs 305 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 1: or low quality, high sugar food like it is what 306 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,680 Speaker 1: we do, but we know that it is not good 307 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: for us. But what it does do, what it does do, 308 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 1: and this is one of the reasons that you know, 309 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: we delay and we deny and we avoid. What it 310 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: does do or what it can do, is those toxic things, 311 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: the you know, the high sugar, low nutritional value, highly 312 00:18:55,000 --> 00:19:00,480 Speaker 1: processed crap, the drug cigarette, the twenty cups of coffee. 313 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 1: Coffee is not bad, but twenty cups not good, you know, 314 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: the drugs, the booster, all that stuff. What it does 315 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: do is it puts us temporarily in a state where 316 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 1: in that moment, in that moment of consuming that thing 317 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: or having that thing in our system, for a while after. 318 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: It makes us feel good. We love instant gratification, we 319 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,919 Speaker 1: love feeling good in the moment, And so we have 320 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: this real addiction. And I mean addiction because you know 321 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: why it's an addiction because it's almost impossible to stop 322 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:41,199 Speaker 1: for so, like how many people who are unhealthy essentially 323 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 1: know what to do but don't do it, I would 324 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: say the vast majority. How many people who are unhealthy 325 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: don't want to be unhealthy, all of them. Everyone who's 326 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:59,520 Speaker 1: unhealthy wants to be healthy. Everyone who's got an addictive 327 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,879 Speaker 1: or an addiction that's toxic, that's destructive, that's fucking up 328 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:09,160 Speaker 1: their life, they don't want that addiction. But it's easier 329 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 1: said than that. And I, by the way, I'm acknowledging 330 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,679 Speaker 1: this is not easy. So I'm not saying try harder, 331 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 1: be disciplined. No, what I'm trying to do is to 332 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: help us all understand the psychology and the physiology and 333 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: the nature of addiction and also the nature of habitual behavior. 334 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,359 Speaker 1: When we do something for long enough, that just becomes 335 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:36,160 Speaker 1: a hard, wide, subconscious operating system that now you think 336 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: about when you've been and forget addiction for the moment 337 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 1: or drugs or booze or that harder end of the scale. 338 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,640 Speaker 1: But just you know, it might just be that every 339 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 1: time somebody says something nice to you, you put yourself down. Now, 340 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,239 Speaker 1: if you deflect and you self low, then you have 341 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:59,640 Speaker 1: all of these sociological kind of behaviors that are really 342 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: fuck looking you up psychologically and emotionally and sociologically. But 343 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,479 Speaker 1: when you've been putting yourself down and calling yourself a 344 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 1: piece of shit and hating on yourself for thirty years 345 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 1: and then Craig Harper does a podcast and he says, hey, 346 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,600 Speaker 1: that's no good for you. You know that's bad for you. 347 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,000 Speaker 1: You know that. Well, that doesn't fix anything, does it. 348 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: All it does is maybe make you think or maybe 349 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: open the awareness door or the curiosity door a little bit. 350 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 1: So I'm fully acknowledging that it is not easy to 351 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: change these things. But I'm also fully acknowledging that it's possible. 352 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,639 Speaker 1: And that's the good bit. That's the good bit. The 353 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: challenge for us is in overcoming these things and being 354 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: the person who doesn't wait for things to fall apart, 355 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: who doesn't wait to be diagnosed with some kind of 356 00:21:55,119 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: medical condition that's potentially life shortening or life ending. The 357 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:05,199 Speaker 1: challenge for us is to be able to start, be 358 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 1: able to make the decisions, and to be able to 359 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,400 Speaker 1: change our behavior. What I'm about to say is crucial 360 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:15,360 Speaker 1: when we don't feel like it. We don't feel like it, 361 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 1: and so often we don't feel like it because who 362 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: the fuck wants to do something that's hard and uncomfortable 363 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: and unfamiliar and is wrapped in uncertainty. We don't know 364 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,719 Speaker 1: what the absolute outcome is going to be. But what 365 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: I do know is if I eat this piece of cake, 366 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: what I absolutely know is I'm going to feel good 367 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,199 Speaker 1: for a little while. It's going to give me a 368 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 1: dopamine response, is going to make me my taste buds 369 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 1: come and fucking come alive, and I'm going to feel 370 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: awesome for about ten minutes, and then probably in fifteen 371 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 1: minutes I'm going to feel shit and guilty in all 372 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: of that. But nonetheless, I know what's coming. And by 373 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: the way, I'll give up the cake, or I'll give 374 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 1: up the self loathing, or I'll give up the gambling habit, 375 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,720 Speaker 1: or I'll get out of the toxic relationship, or I'll 376 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: do that soon. But I'm not doing it today. I'm 377 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 1: not doing it today and then tomorrow comes. In course, 378 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 1: tomorrow is now, it's today, and of course it's not today, 379 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:07,120 Speaker 1: it's not today, but again it's soon. And by the way, Craig, 380 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,120 Speaker 1: you don't understand my situation, You don't understand my genetics. 381 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: You dah da da da da. And now I'm fifty right. 382 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: I don't know how many people. I was going to 383 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,240 Speaker 1: say thousands, but I've literally had tens of thousands of 384 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,680 Speaker 1: conversations with people, but conversations with people who essentially said 385 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: to me. They didn't say these exact words, but essentially 386 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 1: said to me, I've known that I should have changed 387 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:34,439 Speaker 1: this forever, and I just haven't done it. I've wanted 388 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:39,800 Speaker 1: to change this forever. I've almost been turning my life 389 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,639 Speaker 1: around for twenty years. Or they're sitting in front of me, 390 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: they're forty five, fifty five, sixty five, and they're essentially 391 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,199 Speaker 1: saying to me, where I am is not where I 392 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 1: want to be. But I know I got here by 393 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,639 Speaker 1: my own choices or lack of choices, my own action 394 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:59,439 Speaker 1: or inaction, and where I am is not my plan. 395 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,880 Speaker 1: I didn't plan to be here. And I think it's 396 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:09,800 Speaker 1: really important that with these conversations, we be what's the 397 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:14,439 Speaker 1: word harps, we'd be pragmatic and realistic, but without hating 398 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,760 Speaker 1: on ourselves. There's a difference between self awareness and self loathing. 399 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 1: As I've said many times, I can acknowledge that I 400 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: have been the problem without throwing myself into self pity 401 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:36,479 Speaker 1: and regret and resentment and self loathing. I can do that. 402 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 1: I can say there have been many times, many times 403 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 1: in my life where I have knowingly taken the option 404 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,880 Speaker 1: that I probably shouldn't have taken, but in the short term, 405 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: that was the comfortable or the familiar or the easy 406 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 1: option for me. Have I done that? Have I done that? 407 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: Many times? Will I ever do it again? I'm sure 408 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: I will. I'm sure I will. We are not chasing perfection. 409 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:13,639 Speaker 1: We are chasing improvement, awareness, growth, personal development, authenticity, and 410 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: these these are the things that are empowering. These are 411 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 1: the things that are transformational. You know, we sometimes because 412 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: we have no symptoms, like right now, I'm doing stuff 413 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,399 Speaker 1: that's not good for me, but there's no major symptoms, 414 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,920 Speaker 1: so we tell ourselves it's all good. And it might 415 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 1: kind of be all good for the moment, but we 416 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: know it ain't going to be all good in a while, 417 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 1: because shit catches up to us and there'll be a 418 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,920 Speaker 1: period of time where you can get away with certain behaviors. 419 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,439 Speaker 1: But is that what you want? Is that what you 420 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 1: want to get away with it? And then to wait 421 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,440 Speaker 1: till it catches up to you, for you to wait 422 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: till shit breaks, the shit hits the fan, the wheels 423 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: for off, the catastrophe happens, whatever you want to call it, 424 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: Is that what you want to do? Or do you 425 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 1: want to use that brain that you have, that intellect 426 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: that you have and say, listen, I know what I'm 427 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,439 Speaker 1: doing over the long term is going to be bad 428 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: for me. It's going to be bad for me, and 429 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 1: look it is. I acknowledge. It's tough and starting when 430 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 1: you don't want to start, but you probably need to start. 431 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:31,440 Speaker 1: It's tricky because you and me are we're wired. We're 432 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: wired for comfort and certainty and safety and predictability and 433 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 1: we love insta gratification and all of that. And the 434 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: truth is that I can eat this or I can 435 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 1: do this thing. Forget food for the moment, but I 436 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 1: can do this thing, whatever the thing is. Let me 437 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 1: think of something I decide I want. I want one 438 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,479 Speaker 1: hundred inch TV. I've got a seven inch TV. I'm 439 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 1: already struggling with Bill. I don't one. I don't need 440 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,400 Speaker 1: one hundred inch TV. I just want one. And I'm 441 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 1: not really in a financial position too. But I know 442 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,720 Speaker 1: that I can make it work because I can manipulate things, 443 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,080 Speaker 1: and finance companies are happy to help me out in 444 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: bibbity bobby boo. So I do this thing that I know. 445 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,440 Speaker 1: I do this thing in the short term, which is 446 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 1: going to give me a moment or a day or 447 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,199 Speaker 1: two or three of pleasure and satisfaction. Look what I have, 448 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: Look what I own. I've got this new hundred inch TV. 449 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: And then but I know, but I know that this 450 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 1: is not a great decision. This is not a good thing. 451 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: Now I've got to find more money. Now I'm over 452 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,720 Speaker 1: the long term. I'm putting myself under more pressure because 453 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm making poor decisions around money. So the challenge for 454 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,640 Speaker 1: us is that sometimes, in fact, quite often, the things 455 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,440 Speaker 1: that we need to do to be who and how 456 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: we want to be and not the things that today 457 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:59,159 Speaker 1: we're going to enjoy. You know, I remember getting to 458 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,760 Speaker 1: a point when I was in my twenties and I'd 459 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 1: lost all this weight when I was a teenager, and 460 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: I've gotten really fit and strong, and I ended up 461 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,160 Speaker 1: owning all of these businesses and I had you've heard 462 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:14,439 Speaker 1: the story, lots of businesses, lots of stuff, and I 463 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,480 Speaker 1: kind of slipped out of elite training mode. I was 464 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: still training, but I was also eating everything that wasn't 465 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 1: nailed down. And over a period of about two years, 466 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:28,120 Speaker 1: I'd probably gone from around ninety like when I was 467 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,879 Speaker 1: at my leanest and lightest as an adult, I was 468 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 1: close to eighty helos. But at this stage, before I 469 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 1: started to slide, I was probably around ninety kilos, quite 470 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: quite muscular, quite lean, in very good shape, very disciplined, 471 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 1: and over time not proud of this. But over time 472 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: I ended up blowing up and putting on the best 473 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,680 Speaker 1: part of thirty kilos. I was nearly one hundred and 474 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 1: twenty kilos, and I was, you know, I was the 475 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 1: guy who owned the gym, who had all the knowledge, 476 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 1: who was telling people what to do, who wasn't doing 477 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,920 Speaker 1: it himself right. And then but I knew. I knew 478 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: when I was wearing bigger and baggier clothes and sweatpants 479 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,160 Speaker 1: and baggy windsheets as we did back in those days embarrassingly. 480 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 1: But when I and I was always you know, for 481 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 1: that two year period, I was ashamed of myself. But 482 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: I still love food, right, but food, food became my 483 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 1: That was like my escape clause, that was like my 484 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: safety in it. That was my like, no matter what 485 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 1: happened through the day, how much stress, how many hard decisions, 486 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:42,200 Speaker 1: how many difficult conversations, there was always ice cream, or 487 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: there was always cheesecake, or there was always pizza or 488 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 1: hamburger or pastoral, whatever it was that I was doing. 489 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 1: And I think I was doing all of it. But 490 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: I remember, I remember when I just got to the 491 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 1: point where I hated myself enough and I hated my 492 00:29:55,560 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: behavior enough where I knew that it it's going to 493 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: take me six months to really turn it around. And 494 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: I don't mean it's going to take longer than that, 495 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: but to actually get my body back in shape would 496 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 1: be a solid six months. And I remember, I remember 497 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: where I am right now, sitting in my studio. I 498 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: remember walking out the front of where I am now, 499 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 1: and across from my house is another street that goes 500 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 1: kind of straight ahead from where I'm sitting, and I 501 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,680 Speaker 1: decided I was going to go for a run I 502 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 1: knew would be hard, I knew would be horrible, had 503 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,680 Speaker 1: my big baggy, fucking everything tracksuit, you know, top all that, 504 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: and I started to run. And I'd always been pretty 505 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: good runner, you know, and I could run. I could 506 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: literally when I was younger, and not run for six 507 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 1: months and then go for run and still run five 508 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 1: k's easily and quite quickly and come back and not 509 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: blow out a candle. Well, when you're nearly one hundred 510 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 1: and twenty kilos, that is not the case. And I 511 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 1: remember thinking, well, this will be hard, but I'll just 512 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: tough it out. I'll go and run a few k's. 513 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 1: It'll be hard and horrible, and I'll tough it out. 514 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 1: Now I'm embarrassed to say this, but this is true. 515 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 1: So I was probably, I don't know, late twenties or something, 516 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 1: maybe thirty ish, and I started my run inverted Commas, 517 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: which was not a run at all, but rather a 518 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 1: fucking embarrassingly horrible plot. And I plodded about four hundred 519 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: meters and thought I was going to have a heart 520 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,600 Speaker 1: attack because I was literally running with thirty kilos more 521 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: than I had on So imagine you right now running 522 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: up the street, you come back, then you put on 523 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,720 Speaker 1: a thirty kilo vest and you try and do that 524 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,719 Speaker 1: same run. Well that's not only was I thirty kilos heavier, 525 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,320 Speaker 1: I was infinitely less fit and so on. And it 526 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:51,000 Speaker 1: was And it was in that, you know, like in 527 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: that moment and moments like that that for me, I went, 528 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,600 Speaker 1: I just I don't want to be that person anymore. 529 00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: And it did. It took me at least six months 530 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: to get my body back to relatively lean and fit 531 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: and strong. But if I'm being honest, it's for me. 532 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: It's been a lifetime of trying to manage my mind. 533 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 1: It's been a lifetime of trying to manage me self, regulate, 534 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: you know, and to like me knowing you know, my 535 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,080 Speaker 1: mum's had a heart attack, my dad's had hurt too, 536 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 1: heart attacks. My dad's got some significant issues. My mum 537 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 1: has had cancer three times. I don't come from amazing genetics. 538 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: Like I knew early that if I wait until I 539 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 1: get diagnosed with something terrible, that could be you know, 540 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 1: you think about this. Sometimes for some people, the first 541 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:53,959 Speaker 1: sign of a problem is death. Like literally some people 542 00:32:54,080 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 1: have seemingly no symptoms, no parent health issues. I say 543 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 1: a parent, and then they die and people are like, 544 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 1: oh my god, understandably. And what I know is that, well, 545 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I know that this is the only 546 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: life I'm going to have. Maybe something happens after we 547 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 1: die and this mortal plane, maybe we go, maybe we 548 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 1: go somewhere bigger and better. Who knows, But right now 549 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 1: we don't know. We just think or believe we do. 550 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,880 Speaker 1: And that's cool as well. But what I do know 551 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: is I have this life, and I have this body, 552 00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: and I can't get another life where I can't get 553 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 1: another body, and I can't do any I can't undo 554 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 1: anything that I've done or not done so far. I 555 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 1: can only optimize what I have. Now. You know we 556 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: are You and I are constantly getting information. You and 557 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 1: I are constantly getting data. We're constantly getting results your body, 558 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 1: your relationships, your bank balance, your career, your internal sat 559 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: nab that internal wisdom that you and I can't really explain, 560 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: you know, the stuff that you just fucking know. No 561 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:11,960 Speaker 1: one taught you or told you you didn't do a course. 562 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: You don't know where it comes from, but there is 563 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 1: a knowing, there is a wisdom. I guess It's like 564 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 1: it's analogous to instinct or intuition, but to me it 565 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:28,440 Speaker 1: seems more like sometimes it's like the other day when 566 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 1: I recorded that podcast about death, I felt quite compelled, 567 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:35,400 Speaker 1: And of course I didn't know that people needed to 568 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 1: hear it. And maybe it was coincidence or not, I 569 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:42,279 Speaker 1: don't know, but I had. As of this morning, I've 570 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: had almost fifty emails or private messages from people telling 571 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 1: me that they needed to hear that, that it was 572 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:59,640 Speaker 1: like I had recorded that for them. I don't know 573 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,839 Speaker 1: where that comes from. And maybe that's just a coincidence, 574 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 1: and maybe it's just my thinking because that suits me 575 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 1: and I like the idea of that. But the bottom 576 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,880 Speaker 1: line is that you and I are always getting information 577 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: and data and feedback from what we do, from what 578 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,040 Speaker 1: we don't do, from the life that we live, from 579 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,399 Speaker 1: the way that we interact and intersect with others, and 580 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,200 Speaker 1: from what we do and don't do for our brain 581 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 1: and for our mental health and for our body, for 582 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,280 Speaker 1: our financial health, for our professional health and our career 583 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,360 Speaker 1: and so on. And so it's in our interest not 584 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: to put our head in the metaphoric sand, but to 585 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:42,239 Speaker 1: be able to turn down the emotion a little bit 586 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 1: and to turn up the logic and strategy and say, 587 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 1: all right, well, what is my life telling me? What 588 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,800 Speaker 1: is what are my results telling me? I think most 589 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:56,000 Speaker 1: of us know. I think at our core we know 590 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: what we should be doing. We know that we know 591 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: that the best behavior is this. But right now I'm 592 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,399 Speaker 1: not doing the best behavior because from where I am 593 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,239 Speaker 1: to where I need to be, it's going to be 594 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: messy and uncomfortable, and right now I'm not ready for that. 595 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: So what's the take home? The take home is we 596 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 1: don't have to be ready. We don't have to be 597 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 1: ready in that we don't have to feel like it. 598 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,360 Speaker 1: We don't have to be pumped and excited and motivated 599 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 1: and inspired to turn our life or our behaviors, or 600 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 1: our habits or our health around. We don't need to 601 00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,800 Speaker 1: be in the zone. We just need to be willing 602 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,439 Speaker 1: to own up and to step up and to do 603 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:53,280 Speaker 1: the work, even if it isn't fun, quick, easy, or painless.