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Speaker 1: Yeah, approache production.

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Speaker 2: For the record. I'm done trying to make you all

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Speaker 2: comfortable for the record. You ain't trying to grow downy

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Speaker 2: stuff for your ride for the record, lab on me

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Speaker 2: going all the way for the record. Ain't trying to

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Speaker 2: link no time to waste for.

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Speaker 3: The record, for the record, for the for the record,

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Speaker 3: for the right, for the record, for the record.

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Speaker 2: For the record. I don't trying to make you uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: And then next thing, he said, mister Kane, and he

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Speaker 4: looked at me, he said, this will probably be the grid.

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Speaker 4: Assumed that will be chined a lot. Let's put it handcuffs.

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Speaker 4: I was taking out the courthouse. I was walked around

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Speaker 4: to the Muli police station, which was not far away,

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Speaker 4: and I was putting themselves at the back on my own,

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Speaker 4: and I was put myself.

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Speaker 1: How were you twelve thirteen thereabouts when.

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Speaker 5: You were put into a prison cell, an adult cell with.

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Speaker 4: No whs into an adult tell out the back of

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Speaker 4: the PlayStation.

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Speaker 6: See that right there is against everything right there.

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Speaker 4: Oh well, so if you think that's bad, you know,

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Speaker 4: wait a wee get going broke. You know, sadly it

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Speaker 4: untolds a lot worse than that, and a lot deeper

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Speaker 4: than that. And you know, and that's the sad part

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Speaker 4: of it. You know, it's just I'm looking place. Look,

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Speaker 4: my story is not unique, and this is a sad

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Speaker 4: part of it. New said it before. There are a

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Speaker 4: lot of men around my age now in their late

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Speaker 4: fifties and sixties that were abused inside institutions that were

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Speaker 4: run by the government. It was wrong. It was so wrong. Now,

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Speaker 4: the abuse that we were put through was disgusting. And

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Speaker 4: then they locked us up in a place called Padrides.

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Speaker 1: But we'll get there later.

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Speaker 4: But look, at the end of the day, I remember

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Speaker 4: they put me in this police van and I still

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Speaker 4: remember the trip. I still remember the old highway before

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Speaker 4: they put the new highway in.

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Speaker 1: It was about three and a half hour drive. They

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Speaker 1: let me.

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Speaker 4: Out once they have a piss, and then we pulled

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Speaker 4: up outside this place and it was called Toronto Youth

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Speaker 4: Training Center in Park Street, Parkville, Victoria, and they took

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Speaker 4: me out the back of the van and they took

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Speaker 4: me upstairs. They stripped me down, they put me in

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Speaker 4: their clothing. They made it quite clear to me by

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Speaker 4: their words that you are no longer you no longer

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Speaker 4: have an identity, You are now a ward of the

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Speaker 4: state to the Victorian government. You do not have parents,

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Speaker 4: do not have anyone else who now belonged to the

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Speaker 4: Victorian government.

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Speaker 5: Is of age, and you're getting told this that right

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Speaker 5: there is traumatic ah, mentally traumatic.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, oh look, I still carry all these scars today. Man,

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Speaker 4: that's the truth of it. I'm just one of the

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Speaker 4: blessed men or women that went through all this trauma

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Speaker 4: that have learned to be able to get to the

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Speaker 4: other side.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 4: There's a lot of our men and women that were

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Speaker 4: abused back in them days that are dead today.

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Speaker 5: Yes, and I'll say it again, I'm truly blessed to

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Speaker 5: have been able to have once yourself here now and

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Speaker 5: many other survivors around your age, both men and women.

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Speaker 5: We've been on the clink and been able to share

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Speaker 5: the truths and the atrocities of what took place back

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Speaker 5: in these times because unfortunately, there is a lot that

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Speaker 5: couldn't make it, because there is I just couldn't see

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Speaker 5: way out.

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Speaker 4: And that's right, and that's why I'm we're having a

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Speaker 4: voice today, broke and that's what it's about, you know.

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Speaker 1: So But yeah, look.

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Speaker 4: But it just they locked me up, They put me

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Speaker 4: in this dormitory, which is just a big, huge concrete room.

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Speaker 1: It had I would gather probably.

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Speaker 4: Anywhere between fifteen to twenty single bunks in it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it had a toile block stuck in the middle of it,

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Speaker 4: just and by that I mean just a three concrete walls,

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Speaker 4: no door. I don't I can't remember a door, and

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Speaker 4: just a toilet in there where you sat and pissed

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Speaker 4: or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And that was it.

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Speaker 4: I was in there for four days and I was

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Speaker 4: severely sexual abused by other inmates. That's one of the ways.

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Speaker 4: That's one of the reasons my life turned out so violent.

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Speaker 4: I didn't have a good start to that life. On

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Speaker 4: the fourth day, I lost it.

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Speaker 1: I lost it.

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Speaker 4: I got up and there was this kid in the

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Speaker 4: bed next to me, and I'll never forget him. He

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Speaker 4: had red hair and his name was Roy. And I

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Speaker 4: said to him, I said, bros, how do I fucking

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Speaker 4: stop this ship man? And he said, You've just got

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Speaker 4: to go hard, bro, and don't you ever lay down

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Speaker 4: if someone's going to stick it up your ass. And

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Speaker 4: on the fourth morning, they put us in this room

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Speaker 4: as they did every day, that had a black and

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Speaker 4: white TV up there, chairs they used to give us.

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Speaker 4: I think it was about eight smokes a day or

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Speaker 4: something at certain breaks, and we're all in this room

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Speaker 4: and on the fourth morning, I lost it. I flew

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Speaker 4: over the chairs and I grabbed this fucking dude, bro

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Speaker 4: and I just let go. And by the time I'd finished,

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Speaker 4: I'd broken his nose, I'd bitten off a bit of

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Speaker 4: his ear. I just I went sick because I just

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Speaker 4: couldn't take anymore. That was a sad day in my

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Speaker 4: life to you, because that taught me to be violent. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I had to be violent. I wasn't going to survive

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Speaker 4: if I wasn't violent.

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Speaker 6: This is this is so personal because these have been

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Speaker 6: my words in my own story, which was at the

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Speaker 6: start of the season of the monster I became after

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Speaker 6: the sexual abuse.

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Speaker 5: I'm Julie wo Man, I hear I feel you, And

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Speaker 5: to be honest.

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Speaker 6: With you, it's it's yeah, it's triggering.

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Speaker 5: We'll get through this and we're going to make this,

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Speaker 5: but but brother, fuck, I'm feeling you.

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Speaker 1: And we got triggers.

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Speaker 4: Similar We've all got triggers, all right, And I've got

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Speaker 4: trigger and you've got triggers, and this is going to

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Speaker 4: trigger me.

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Speaker 1: And it's going to trigger you.

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Speaker 4: And the first thing you do when you get off

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Speaker 4: this is going to argue your family the same as

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Speaker 4: I'm going to go and hug mine because and then

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Speaker 4: when the triggers, we go and hug them again. Bro,

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Speaker 4: all right, and we get through this because it's okay.

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Speaker 4: We've got to have a voice. It hurts. This hurts,

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Speaker 4: and we both know that. But at the end of

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Speaker 4: the day, man, if we don't stand up and have

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Speaker 4: a voice, then nothing changes. Yeah, and we need change.

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Speaker 1: So I got y, let's go.

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Speaker 4: I go for I go through that. I became that

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Speaker 4: violent person. I became that I'm taking whatever I want,

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Speaker 4: whenever I want.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing whatever I want.

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Speaker 4: And it's I sit back now and once in an

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Speaker 4: eye insight, it's not it's not made, man, it was

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Speaker 4: never made.

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Speaker 1: But as I said, you've got to do what you've

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Speaker 1: got to do to survive.

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Speaker 4: Like we're talking nineteen seventy, nineteen seventy one, nineteen seventy two,

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Speaker 4: nineteen seventy three, somewhere around that era. But of course

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Speaker 4: we all know that once all this happens and this

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Speaker 4: trauma goes on and this constant reminding you.

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Speaker 1: That you don't have an identity. You know. All I

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Speaker 1: know now is I belong to the government.

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Speaker 4: They decided to let me out and send me home

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Speaker 4: again after eight months. Someone said to me a few

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Speaker 4: weeks ago, a few months ago, so they said, was

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Speaker 4: there ever a time in your life, Steve, where you

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Speaker 4: think that if someone had to come to you and said, man,

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Speaker 4: you've got one chance to change this and it's now,

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Speaker 4: would you have taken it? And at that age, yes,

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Speaker 4: they know. I remember my mom and dad come and

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Speaker 4: seeing me after four days and they came in and said, oh,

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Speaker 4: we're getting a divorce and we're doing all this sort

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Speaker 4: of stuff. And that broke my heart too, because look,

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Speaker 4: at the end of the day, a lot of my

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Speaker 4: behavior was not right. You know, I was a lost

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Speaker 4: kick down. As I say to people, please don't judge

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Speaker 4: me for the boy I used to be, but respect

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Speaker 4: me for the man I am today.

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Speaker 1: You know, like.

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Speaker 4: I did some stuff. You know, I stole some ship man,

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Speaker 4: and that's all I did. I didn't hurt anybody. I

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Speaker 4: wasn't violent. I just stole stuff. Look, I went through

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Speaker 4: different divisions within the youth Training center. I gained a

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Speaker 4: reputation and no one's fucking me, and I made sure that.

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Speaker 4: I guess one of the nicest things to come out

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Speaker 4: that was if I seen anyone trying to fuck with

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Speaker 4: anyone else, I could have stopped it.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: It was just I wouldn't tolerate that. And there was

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Speaker 4: a lot of times over my time in Pampriage that

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Speaker 4: I actually destroyed a few people because they were trying

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Speaker 4: to assault other people. I just wasn't going to put

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Speaker 4: up that ship man. But look, you know I got

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Speaker 4: through that, but they sent me home and it didn't work.

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Speaker 1: Hope.

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Speaker 4: By now, I'm I'm I'm lost, I'm hurt, I'm confused.

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Speaker 2: For the record, I'm done trying to make you uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: for the record. You ain't trying to grow to any stuff.

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Speaker 7: For your for the record.

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Speaker 2: Lab on me going all the way way for the record.

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Speaker 7: I ain't trying to link.

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Speaker 2: No time to.

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Speaker 7: Waste stuff for the record, for the record, for the

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Speaker 7: for the record, for the record, for the record, for

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Speaker 7: the record.

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Speaker 6: H