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Speaker 1: Apodjay production.

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Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the

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Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects

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Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect

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Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.

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Speaker 3: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level

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Speaker 3: up together.

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Speaker 1: Let's go deep, let.

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Speaker 3: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and glow.

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Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow, and

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Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. Welcome back to the

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Speaker 1: potty guys, Grow and Glow. We have another amazing guest

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Speaker 1: that you guys already know and you absolutely loved her

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Speaker 1: last two episodes, So welcome back. Chris.

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Speaker 4: Hi, girls, thanks so much for having me. I'm excited

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Speaker 4: to be here. It's going to be a lot of fun.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like we spoke about so

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Speaker 1: much in our last two episodes, but there's always so

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Speaker 1: much more to talk about. So today we're going to

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Speaker 1: be covering a lot about wellness, but then we're going

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Speaker 1: into trauma. Yeah, Jo, Now, it's a very trendy word.

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Speaker 1: But there's just it's so important and I think someone

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Speaker 1: think they don't have trauma, but you're lying to yourself.

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Speaker 1: We'll have it. So when we go deep into that,

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Speaker 1: but before we do, as you know, every Monday episode,

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Speaker 1: we have a share of the week.

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Speaker 4: So this is something my mentor said to me on

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Speaker 4: our session at the start of the week, and it

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Speaker 4: was this, chaos can be destructive and can render everything

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Speaker 4: a new. So when we think about chaos in our

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Speaker 4: life and how like messy it is and then we're

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Speaker 4: like so overwhelmed, we feel like we're falling apart, it

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Speaker 4: actually creates a new slate. It's like a tornado, Like

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Speaker 4: it wipes everything clean. Like think about it in that

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Speaker 4: sense and through that lens, and what a different perspective

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Speaker 4: it actually can be when you like lean into that

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Speaker 4: in your own life and own experience.

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Speaker 1: Can you say it again, chaos.

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Speaker 4: Can be destructive and can render everything a new It.

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Speaker 1: Is so true, right, I love that tornado analogy because

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Speaker 1: it's right, it like gets rid of whole towns. They've

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Speaker 1: got a clean slate to start and rebuild again.

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Speaker 4: Got any natural disaster and like that's so destructive, But

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Speaker 4: like and then map it into your life and it's like, wow,

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Speaker 4: it actually just cleans it.

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Speaker 1: Like get to start again.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Reminds me a little bit of that quote the breakdown

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Speaker 3: before the breakthrough it everything has to be chaos before

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Speaker 3: you can get back to the calm.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes, or when you're about to manifest something really big,

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Speaker 1: like you go through a lot of fear and uncomfort first,

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Speaker 1: then you know something huge is about to happen.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I find energetically when I'm going through like a

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Speaker 4: quantum leap, either like in my business, which would always

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Speaker 4: map into relationships. Hells all the things I go through,

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Speaker 4: like an upgrade internally, which is like the flu, so

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Speaker 4: it appears symptoms of the flirt and I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 4: so sick, what's happening? And then something people happen.

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Speaker 1: Like Oh that's wow. Self awareness that you like realize

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Speaker 1: like this is like happening right before. Yeah, just a

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Speaker 1: cool way to look at life. Yeah, Like you don't

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Speaker 1: ever get a victim them being like oh I'm so

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Speaker 1: say you're like, oh.

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Speaker 4: That wasn't Yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 1: That's really cool. Let's get started a wellness because I

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Speaker 1: want to start with saying I feel like we always

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Speaker 1: hear it takes twenty one days to break have it.

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Speaker 1: I'm assuming that you believe this because you have a

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Speaker 1: twenty one day wellness like reset course that you do

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Speaker 1: why twenty one days and walk us through what that

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Speaker 1: program is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So I've always believed it takes twenty days to

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Speaker 4: make or break a habit, and to go backwards to

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Speaker 4: a time in my life where I wasn't the healthiest

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Speaker 4: version of myself. I smoked and the thing that got

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Speaker 4: me off smoking, which is so disgusting to consider now,

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Speaker 4: but it's like I got myself out of that space

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Speaker 4: by going just twenty one days to just get to

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Speaker 4: the end of these twenty one days. You can do it.

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Speaker 4: Once you're there, it's done, and that's what got me

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Speaker 4: off that terrible, disgraceful habit that I had as well

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Speaker 4: so with any other thing in my health, in movement,

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Speaker 4: in whatever fad I try or start. Over the last decade,

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Speaker 4: it's been that twenty one day mentality for me because

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Speaker 4: you get to probably day forty. Sometimes I think with

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Speaker 4: some things that we tried and there's resistance.

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Speaker 1: The motivation drops off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't really want to do it anymore. You

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Speaker 4: look for the evidence way you shouldn't. Maybe you get

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Speaker 4: your period, maybe sick, like whatever, and you're like, don't

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Speaker 4: have to permission to stop. But for me, it's pushing

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Speaker 4: past that restrictive part there and just leading into the

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Speaker 4: momentum and continuing to twenty one. And then for me

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Speaker 4: in my personal experience, I've always finished the thing. I've

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Speaker 4: always stuck it out. It's then ingrained as a habit

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Speaker 4: in my life, like journaling, breath work, like all these

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Speaker 4: things I just do. I don't think it's like brushing

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Speaker 4: my teeth, right, because there was a time in our

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Speaker 4: lives where brushing your teeth was forced. You're told and

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Speaker 4: you have to keep doing it, and it's like have

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Speaker 4: you done it? No, I haven't done it. Why do

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Speaker 4: I have to do it? Because you've got to do

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Speaker 4: it before you get like that that thing, it's just

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Speaker 4: a habit. So for me, yeah, twenty one days is

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Speaker 4: just the timeline that has always given me results.

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Speaker 1: That's really cool. So can you walk us through a

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Speaker 1: little bit of your program? Like what do you take

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Speaker 1: everyone through?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: So it's a free ebook and it has been designed

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Speaker 4: by myself, signed off by a dietitian as well as

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Speaker 4: a personal trainer, and there's twenty one days of movement

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Speaker 4: and recipes and self love affirmations, as well as a

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Speaker 4: really simple checklist, like a daily checklist that just goes

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Speaker 4: either on the back of your phone, like on the

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Speaker 4: wallpaper or on the fridge, right, so it's just three

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Speaker 4: liters of water. It's turning your screen time off at

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Speaker 4: eight thirty at night. It's little things like that I

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Speaker 4: believe that have supported my journey and my health and

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Speaker 4: my growth. Simplifying it and bring it back to basics.

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Speaker 4: I created it in a time where it was around

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Speaker 4: the seaword, the COVID time right, and I had a

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Speaker 4: newborn and a toddler. And after my first child, after

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Speaker 4: my son, I went all in back to health and fitness,

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Speaker 4: got the body back, got married sixteen weeks later, like

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Speaker 4: I was the fittest I've ever been in my life.

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Speaker 4: And then I had my daughter, completely separate experience. I

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Speaker 4: gained all this weight. I couldn't shake it as quickly.

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Speaker 4: We're in lockdown. I was isolated, I was lonely. I

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Speaker 4: had a home gym, like fully equipped home gym, and

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Speaker 4: I had all the tools from resources essentially because I'd

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Speaker 4: trained for a really long time, so I knew what

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Speaker 4: I had to do, but I didn't have the capacity

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Speaker 4: emotionally or energetically to go and get stuck in and

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Speaker 4: get it done. And that's I guess where the twenty

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Speaker 4: one day when as reset was born, because I'm like,

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Speaker 4: if I'm feeling like this, and I just know that

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Speaker 4: other moms are too in this same position. So the

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Speaker 4: exercise component of it, because my mentality was quite all

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Speaker 4: or nothing back then as well, so it's like I'd

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Speaker 4: never finish it. I'd just give up on my sets,

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Speaker 4: walk back in the door, or there's Washington to.

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Speaker 1: Do this baby crime distractions.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and nothing ever felt completed. So I felt very

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Speaker 4: unsuccessful in the day to day stuff. Right. So then

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Speaker 4: I started doing twelve minute workouts and I was just

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Speaker 4: twelve minutes of the day, so I'm like, twelve minutes,

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Speaker 4: you can get this done. If I got six minutes in, cool,

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Speaker 4: I did my best. I aimed for the twelve. I

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Speaker 4: got six minutes in, it didn't matter as much. But

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Speaker 4: if I got the twelve, I felt awesome. If I

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Speaker 4: drank my three litters of water, I felt awesome. If

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Speaker 4: I ate veggies with two out of three meals. I

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Speaker 4: felt good and it was enough for me, and I thought,

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Speaker 4: I wonder if other people are feeling this, so I

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Speaker 4: put out there on Instagram. It was the early days

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Speaker 4: of my Instagram account a couple of years back, and

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Speaker 4: people were feeling the same. And I've had over three

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Speaker 4: hundred women jump in and do this and feel great

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Speaker 4: at the end of it, whether or not they take

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Speaker 4: everything into the everyday life, Like, this is a thing

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Speaker 4: that I did not want people to feel like they

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Speaker 4: had to do. So if you have a day, or

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Speaker 4: if you have two days, that's cool, go do what

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Speaker 4: needs to be done. But then there's no wagon to

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Speaker 4: fall off. You just step back into what you know

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Speaker 4: is good for you, which is these habits and these

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Speaker 4: micro moments. I'm a big believer in the man micro

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Speaker 4: habits support macro goals.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, And.

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Speaker 4: That's what I wanted people to bring into their everyday life,

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Speaker 4: Like the micro moments are going to make you better tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: And if we can just bring some focus into what's

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Speaker 4: possible rather than what's not possible through that lens and

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Speaker 4: amplify your life in a really positive way through these

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Speaker 4: really small habits. I didn't want it to be overwhelming.

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Speaker 4: So that was how I felt going into anything that

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Speaker 4: I was trying, because I was doing every app and

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Speaker 4: different diet and different fat under the sun at that

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Speaker 4: time because I wanted to lose this weight and I

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Speaker 4: had no accountability of support either, so you know, it

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Speaker 4: was just me doing things and feeling like I was failing.

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Speaker 4: So like, how can I create it? So I'm not failing.

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Speaker 4: It's not going to get me where I need to

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Speaker 4: go in the fastest capacity, but I also get to

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Speaker 4: strip it all back and go back to basics. So

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Speaker 4: it's something I'm really passionate on for my clients as well.

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Speaker 4: So most of my clients that have worked with me

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Speaker 4: have done this program and then they've got these embedded

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Speaker 4: habits to their day to day life.

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Speaker 1: And I think when you get that progress too, then

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Speaker 1: like you're ready for the next level. So I didn't

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Speaker 1: know it's free. It's freae, So anyone listening, like you

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Speaker 1: can literally go to your website and get it the.

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Speaker 4: Resources, type down it's just and you can start like

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Speaker 4: print it off and start.

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Speaker 1: So of course once description, yeah, that's right there. Once

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Speaker 1: you do that, it's like, okay, what's my next level?

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Speaker 1: Self going to be doing like this is the beginning

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Speaker 1: and you've got those habits and now you're ready for it.

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Speaker 1: And as a mom too, you already feel like not everyone,

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Speaker 1: that's a big generalization, but I definitely think we all

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Speaker 1: have moments of feeling like we're failing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So if you're like, yeah, getting your three letters of

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Speaker 1: water and taking those little things off, you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing really well. I'm looking after me so I

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Speaker 1: can take care of you. It's important for a mom.

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Speaker 4: One of the things in the Wellness Reset also includes

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Speaker 4: the self love challenges. So there's twenty one self love

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Speaker 4: challenges and these are really simplified things because again, I

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Speaker 4: was in a stage of being like I can't go

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Speaker 4: for a holiday, I can't go to the spa for

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Speaker 4: a twenty four hour treatment. There's things I'm saying other

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Speaker 4: people doing and I want that, but I can't do

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Speaker 4: that for myself. How can I create that for myself?

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Speaker 4: And so, like an example is one of the challenges

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Speaker 4: is a glass of red wine in the bath at

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Speaker 4: midday because the baby's sleeping. You can Yeah, who said that?

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Speaker 4: You can't? Who said that you can't have the things

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Speaker 4: that you want or create that softness or nurturing to

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Speaker 4: yourself and your body that day. It's what in the

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Speaker 4: sunrise with a cup of tea in the morning, Like

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Speaker 4: little things like that that I just didn't feel like

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Speaker 4: at that time I had access to it. And then

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Speaker 4: when I started doing I'm like, oh, that's in with you.

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Speaker 3: So wellness to you. Isn't some big journal these things.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like it's all the little micro things.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely is. Yeah, absolutely Again, everything just supports the

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Speaker 4: macro goal and flows of life. Like I've been at

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Speaker 4: the height of myself in terms of the leanest, the fittest,

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Speaker 4: the strongest, the fastest, all the things. I've been there,

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Speaker 4: and I've been at the other edge of that same

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Speaker 4: scale where it's like not the healthiest version of myself

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Speaker 4: and didn't have the tools that I have now. And

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Speaker 4: now I just focus on It's a season. Some weeks

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Speaker 4: I'm at the gym six days a week, five am

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Speaker 4: every day, and I'm walking the dog as well, and

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Speaker 4: I'm getting my steps in like yeah, some weeks it's that,

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Speaker 4: and then other weeks I'm there three times and maybe

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Speaker 4: I'm not there at all. You just got to find

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Speaker 4: what works for you and stop sitting in that comparison

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Speaker 4: itis with other womens, other families, and what their experiences are,

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Speaker 4: what's support network they have? You don't know, like just

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Speaker 4: because someone's putting up online like they're at the gym

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Speaker 4: at five VM, I could do that too some weeks,

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Speaker 4: But then like this week, like this morning, I didn't go, yeah,

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Speaker 4: but you put that online, didn't go to the gym.

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Speaker 4: Like you see what you see and you see what

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Speaker 4: you want to see. And I think just taking ownership

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Speaker 4: and what you're choosing to absorb as well is a

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Speaker 4: huge part of that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so much comparison online these days as well. I

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Speaker 3: think everybody looks what everyone else is doing, going oh my.

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Speaker 1: Gosh, like how do they juggle?

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Speaker 4: Little?

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Speaker 3: But there's weeks where like holy shit, like same as me.

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Speaker 3: Like a couple of weeks ago, I was melting down

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Speaker 3: and I was like not coping with anything. So like

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Speaker 3: the last thing I felt like doing was going to

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Speaker 3: the gym have my moment. And then I was like, Okkara,

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Speaker 3: now dush yourself off, had your moment, get back into it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you know it's going to make you feel better. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you feel like being vulnerable because

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Speaker 1: this sounds all inspiring and motivating, But is there something now?

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Speaker 1: Because I like me at the moment, I definitely feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm in a fixed season of growth and working

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Speaker 1: with a coach. I have my surgery, just navigating a

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Speaker 1: lot of personal things, like I feel like I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of like drowning a little bit. Is this something that

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Speaker 1: you feel like you've got all those basic habits that

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Speaker 1: are nailed or is there still something that you really

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Speaker 1: struggle with and how do you work through that? Like

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Speaker 1: You've got a mentor, but is there something? Yeah, you'd

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Speaker 1: love to share.

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Speaker 4: So and I'm more than happy to share this. Honorability,

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Speaker 4: as I've said before, is our superpowers?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Absolutely. On Monday with my mentor, I was reflecting with

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Speaker 4: her and I was like, the projection that's playing out

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Speaker 4: in my life is drama. My son is very dramatic,

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Speaker 4: darling boy, He's so dramatic in his tantrums, and I'm

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Speaker 4: just like, God, you're a drama queen. And then because

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Speaker 4: I'm so self aware, I'm like, Wow, where am I

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Speaker 4: the drama queen? How am I creating this? How's this

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Speaker 4: my projection? How's this a mirror to me? And how

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Speaker 4: much I love drama. I love to find it, I

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Speaker 4: love to be in it, but in a way that

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Speaker 4: I don't want that. So it's like when we talk

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Speaker 4: about victim mentality we talked about last time. Yes, so

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Speaker 4: that's my wound. But on the other end of that,

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Speaker 4: it's like drama I'm attracted to as well in humans

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Speaker 4: and girlfriends. Yeah, either victim or their drama. Right, just

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Speaker 4: playing into that projection of myself. So noticing that now

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Speaker 4: that's self aware part of me that struggles to have

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Speaker 4: boundaries with drama, right, and have boundaries with people who

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Speaker 4: are dramatic, And where can I start implementing that into

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Speaker 4: my own Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I love that. Where do you think drama has served you?

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Speaker 1: Because you know, there's always the shadow and the live.

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Speaker 1: Where do you think it's served you?

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Speaker 4: It's literally gotten me everything I want.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you're put your foot down.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And that might sound a bit like selfish to

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Speaker 4: some people that can only hear my voice and don't

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Speaker 4: know me well enough to sort of know where I'm

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Speaker 4: coming from. But being dramatic has literally taken me everywhere

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Speaker 4: I needed to be in life. I was reflecting recently

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Speaker 4: about a teacher in year seven or eight, and his

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Speaker 4: words to me were that mouth is going to get

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Speaker 4: you nowhere in life. And I only had this memory

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Speaker 4: pop up and I was like, Oh, this mouth actually

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Speaker 4: got me a few places place.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's literally my job now that I love to do.

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Speaker 1: It's talking with my mouth.

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Speaker 4: And talk to people all day every day. That's my

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Speaker 4: favorite thing ever. And I'm like, how interesting that that

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Speaker 4: was said to me, But just noticing how that could

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Speaker 4: have been something that I decided to have as a

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Speaker 4: limiting belief, and it could also have been the thing

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Speaker 4: that drove me forward and I always want to drive forward.

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Speaker 4: That's something that I've just having grain since I was

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Speaker 4: really young. My mom worked really really hard and really

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Speaker 4: practice what she preached in that regard, so I think

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Speaker 4: that's been imprinted from her. But yeah, being attracted to

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Speaker 4: drama is something.

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Speaker 1: That I think a lot of girls can relate. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think it's females. Had this discussion with my husband

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Speaker 1: a little while ago that, like, I was just telling

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Speaker 1: you about the show that The Secret Lives of the Mormons.

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Speaker 1: It's so dramatic, it's so drama and I but I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I stopped watching the Kardashian because I just I felt

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Speaker 1: like it wasn't authentic anymore, Like I felt like it

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Speaker 1: was a bit put on a bit stage and it

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Speaker 1: was a lot of drama, And for a season there,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want any drama. But then this show I

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Speaker 1: really enjoyed, So I get it. Like females, we are

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Speaker 1: kind of drawn to that, but it must bring connection

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Speaker 1: as well. But sometimes relatability may yeah.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes a secondary gain in terms of the emotional scale

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Speaker 4: that we're going to gain from something that's having a

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Speaker 4: negative impact. So let's say I'm attracted to drama in friendship,

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Speaker 4: like in female friendship, and the secondary emotion to that

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Speaker 4: for me is that it gives me permission to sit

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Speaker 4: in my victim.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 4: He either said that or I get to feel like

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Speaker 4: I'm being the good person by helping them through their thing.

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Speaker 1: I've got someone that I used to be close with,

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Speaker 1: and I felt like when she would talk about drama

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Speaker 1: and gossip, I felt like it made her feel better

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Speaker 1: about her situation because their situation was more dramatic and worse.

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Speaker 1: So then she felt like hers was like not that bad,

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Speaker 1: whereas I could see that her situation wasn't serving her

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Speaker 1: and she didn't want to take ownership. But when she

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Speaker 1: talked about these people just like so much worse in mine,

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Speaker 1: Like I thought my life was dramatic, but these girls,

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Speaker 1: and I could just feel I could feel this is

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Speaker 1: more about her than what it was to other people.

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Speaker 1: So I could see it wasn't serving her, but I

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Speaker 1: could see why she was drawn to that.

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Speaker 4: And it's also the dopamine hit that we get from it.

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Speaker 4: So it's like some people do drugs, some people watch porn,

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Speaker 4: some people do this girls chaste drama, interesting we get

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Speaker 4: from it. Right, So we might call in a friendship

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Speaker 4: where there's a huge misalignment because ia you might have

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Speaker 4: completely different lives and hers is filled with toxic drama

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Speaker 4: stories and crap, and you sit there soaking it in,

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Speaker 4: and you know, you might even be like, why are

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Speaker 4: we in friends? Like we've got nothing in common, even

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Speaker 4: if you do have a lot in common, but very

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Speaker 4: like different value your life, but you want to soak

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Speaker 4: her in all the time. Notice what you're getting if

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Speaker 4: you walk away feeling drained and continue to go back.

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Speaker 4: The pattern is that you're getting something from it, and

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Speaker 4: sometimes not for all females, but sometimes it is that

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Speaker 4: don't mean him, right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a cool conversation to talk about too.

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Speaker 1: We're kind of going a little bit of track, but

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Speaker 1: like with trolls online, because I remember years ago when

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Speaker 1: I had an actual hate page dedicated to my name

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Speaker 1: and we ended up taking legal action and we got

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Speaker 1: it taken down. But there was five women on a

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Speaker 1: rotating roster to like screenshot on my snapchats and post

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Speaker 1: it into forums and then all go, let's all go

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Speaker 1: comment this and blah blah blah. But this isn't to

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Speaker 1: put down single ones, but they were all single mums.

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Speaker 1: And three of them actually came forward and just said,

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Speaker 1: like after they had realized what they had done, they'd

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Speaker 1: apologized and like had said that we didn't have anything

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Speaker 1: else going on our life. It was like you were

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Speaker 1: our reality TV show. One of them compared me to

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians of like you are our reality TV show,

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Speaker 1: And it was just like addictive. And I could see

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Speaker 1: how it was meeting their need of significance. It's meeting

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Speaker 1: their need of community and like connection. Yeah about it,

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Speaker 1: And when she explained it like that, I was like this,

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Speaker 1: it's awful that I've been through that, but I can

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Speaker 1: understand as a lonely single mum. How that could be

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Speaker 1: quite addicted to, like being amongst something that's like growing

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Speaker 1: and it's gossiping and it's drama. I could really like

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Speaker 1: see from their side. I don't think it's right, but

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Speaker 1: I could have passionate, ouvererstanding.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's almost easier to connect with someone over something

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Speaker 3: negative like that too, right, Like it's harder to go

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Speaker 3: deep and find like those meaningful connections where you talk

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Speaker 3: about hard things or but to take gossip and have

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Speaker 3: those sorts of conversations like I don't know, I feel

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Speaker 3: like it takes bravery to like some of the I

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Speaker 3: mean we talk about on the podcast, but the ship

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Speaker 3: we talk about, you know it.

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Speaker 1: Is and gossip is deflecting, it's pointing out words, whereas

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Speaker 1: when you go inwards taking ownership, Like I had a

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Speaker 1: really bad argument with you know whatever, I had to

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Speaker 1: argue with my partner, and I did not show up

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Speaker 1: the way I want to be, Like, that's hard to

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Speaker 1: talk about.

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Speaker 4: It's so hard.

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Speaker 1: It's easy to be like, did you hear what this

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Speaker 1: person said? To hear what she was wearing?

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Speaker 4: Like he did that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I like, oh, I probably shouldn't have said that Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 4: It's just an easy thing that we've all been subscribed to,

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Speaker 4: especially our swomen since you are quite young.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so being a busy mum running a business, doing

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Speaker 1: all the things that you do, like wellness, it is

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Speaker 1: so important. But we have a large mum audience and

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Speaker 1: we definitely get feedback a lot of like, how do

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Speaker 1: you guys fit it Allien? So we've spoken about it

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Speaker 1: on the podcast. What I'd love to hear from you

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Speaker 1: because you're even traveling heats for work now, you're speaking

435
00:17:35,481 --> 00:17:37,801
Speaker 1: at events on all these different podcasts, like how do

436
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 1: you fit in all your wellness habits whilst being the

437
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,680
Speaker 1: mum you want to be the part you want to

438
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 1: be the friend you want to be, Like, how do

439
00:17:43,281 --> 00:17:43,801
Speaker 1: you do it all?

440
00:17:43,921 --> 00:17:46,241
Speaker 4: Strip it back to the basic needs, right, what of

441
00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:49,041
Speaker 4: my kids need time? They just want me cool. Don't

442
00:17:49,041 --> 00:17:50,801
Speaker 4: make it fancy. We don't have to go to the park.

443
00:17:50,961 --> 00:17:52,881
Speaker 4: We can grab the magnets. It's on the launch room floor.

444
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,920
Speaker 4: We watch Matilda for the first time the other night,

445
00:17:54,921 --> 00:17:56,481
Speaker 4: which is the cutest thing ever. There at an age

446
00:17:56,481 --> 00:17:58,680
Speaker 4: where they can watch an actual like TV yeah show

447
00:17:59,241 --> 00:18:01,321
Speaker 4: sorry movie which was really sweet. So like, in terms

448
00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:03,961
Speaker 4: of balancing the mum and a business hat. You can

449
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 4: do it all, and you can have it all, but

450
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,521
Speaker 4: you need to recreate what all is to you and

451
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,400
Speaker 4: how that's going to feel. Because if you want to

452
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,640
Speaker 4: feel present, be fucking present. Just be present. Start with that.

453
00:18:13,681 --> 00:18:15,801
Speaker 4: Give it ten minutes. It doesn't have to be ten hours.

454
00:18:15,801 --> 00:18:18,160
Speaker 4: It can be ten minutes. Same with movement. It doesn't

455
00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 4: have to be at a gym in a class perfect

456
00:18:20,481 --> 00:18:23,281
Speaker 4: one hundred percent of the time. We are humans, and

457
00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:27,481
Speaker 4: humans are supposed to progress, and sometimes we see progression

458
00:18:27,521 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 4: as it's too hard, it's too overwhelming, or we've got

459
00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:31,681
Speaker 4: to do it in a certain way that someone else

460
00:18:31,721 --> 00:18:33,561
Speaker 4: is doing it right, where it's strict and it's instruction.

461
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,200
Speaker 4: I'm out of routine, so oh my gosh, I just

462
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:37,681
Speaker 4: can't do anything. So like the wellness reset I've used

463
00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 4: on holidays because I don't want to be away from

464
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 4: the kids on holidays and I don't want miss out

465
00:18:41,241 --> 00:18:42,761
Speaker 4: on the fun. But I want to move my body,

466
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 4: and there's a gym or that, you know, I don't

467
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,441
Speaker 4: want to go travel around without my kids if I'm

468
00:18:47,441 --> 00:18:49,201
Speaker 4: doing a big walk or anything like that. So I'll

469
00:18:49,201 --> 00:18:52,321
Speaker 4: just do fifteen minutes of exercise, super back to what

470
00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:55,640
Speaker 4: is good for you? Same for food, what is good

471
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,281
Speaker 4: for you? To back to the basics. You can have

472
00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 4: it all if you choose to look through the lens

473
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:02,441
Speaker 4: of what does all mean for me? Like us three

474
00:19:02,521 --> 00:19:06,041
Speaker 4: sitting here, we have completely different lives, completely families, completely

475
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 4: different children. You're all to my all the two different things,

476
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 4: and that's okay. Like, give yourself permission as a mom

477
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,001
Speaker 4: and as a woman to do the journey in the

478
00:19:15,041 --> 00:19:17,401
Speaker 4: way that you need to do it. Because we've all

479
00:19:17,441 --> 00:19:20,801
Speaker 4: come from different walks. We've all had different experiences, different trauma's,

480
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,321
Speaker 4: different paying, different wounds that we're dealing with on a

481
00:19:23,441 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 4: day to day basis, Like our husbands will do different things,

482
00:19:26,681 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 4: Like how can we say we can all go to

483
00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:30,241
Speaker 4: the gym at this time and it's going to work

484
00:19:30,281 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 4: and this is what makes us healthy or this is

485
00:19:32,201 --> 00:19:34,281
Speaker 4: what makes us feel good because it's not going to

486
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,561
Speaker 4: be the same em Like your kid might have had

487
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,561
Speaker 4: gastro last week, might be like flying high and being

488
00:19:39,561 --> 00:19:41,521
Speaker 4: the best bloody kid in the world, But it doesn't

489
00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:43,521
Speaker 4: mean that you can't move your body one day and

490
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:45,521
Speaker 4: you can't do an hour here, or you can't do

491
00:19:45,681 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 4: twelve minutes there. Yeah, I think it's really important that

492
00:19:48,201 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 4: you've got to do what's good for you. Stop comparing.

493
00:19:51,201 --> 00:19:53,801
Speaker 3: Yes, And we're even speaking on the way up about

494
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 3: how with your kids all they need is twelve minutes

495
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,801
Speaker 3: a day of like your present time, which is crazy,

496
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,721
Speaker 3: and I think it just takes so much pressure off,

497
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 3: knowing if you have twelve minutes of like complete present

498
00:20:03,241 --> 00:20:05,561
Speaker 3: time with your kids and that's enough for them to

499
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,561
Speaker 3: feel you know, fine.

500
00:20:07,521 --> 00:20:09,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and you can break that up like we

501
00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:11,561
Speaker 1: were saying three to five minutes in the morning, three

502
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,121
Speaker 1: to five minutes in the middle of day, thirty five

503
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,521
Speaker 1: minutes of bedtime or like if you've got the capacity

504
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,000
Speaker 1: like to be doing that all at once. But like

505
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,721
Speaker 1: research is saying twelve minutes of a solid present time

506
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,161
Speaker 1: with phone away and playing, like because that's how they

507
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 1: connected through play, doing what they want on their terms.

508
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,360
Speaker 1: That's like that's all they need. That's the minimum anyway, Like,

509
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: of course we want to do more, yeah, but just

510
00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:32,001
Speaker 1: to take that pressure off. You get that in each day,

511
00:20:32,041 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: like you're doing an amazing job.

512
00:20:33,201 --> 00:20:35,041
Speaker 3: Those days when you're busy and you've got so much

513
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 3: stuff on and you feel like, oh my gosh, if

514
00:20:37,521 --> 00:20:38,761
Speaker 3: you know, like at the end of day, I'm going

515
00:20:38,801 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 3: to sit down and I'm going to go play like

516
00:20:40,201 --> 00:20:42,321
Speaker 3: our kids love caping go, so you know, like just

517
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 3: do something like that. It's just nice to be like, Okay,

518
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,841
Speaker 3: I've done enough to like I've given everything I've got

519
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 3: today and today my capacity might be twenty percent and

520
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,961
Speaker 3: tomorrow it might be eighty.

521
00:20:50,681 --> 00:20:52,241
Speaker 1: And I can give them so much more.

522
00:20:52,521 --> 00:20:54,120
Speaker 3: But it kind of just takes a pressure off thinking

523
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,401
Speaker 3: of it as that sort of amountain Hey deerfinitely.

524
00:20:56,801 --> 00:20:57,521
Speaker 4: Absolutely.

525
00:20:57,761 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 1: When I've been consuming your content lately and your website

526
00:21:00,201 --> 00:21:02,761
Speaker 1: and everything, we love talking about trauma. I've had another

527
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,321
Speaker 1: guest on like talk all that trauma. But obviously everyone

528
00:21:05,321 --> 00:21:07,241
Speaker 1: has the different views and different way they do things.

529
00:21:07,281 --> 00:21:09,561
Speaker 1: But this is something that you help your clients with,

530
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,441
Speaker 1: and we believe everyone has trauma. In your own words,

531
00:21:13,481 --> 00:21:16,001
Speaker 1: what is trauma and how do you help your clients

532
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:16,400
Speaker 1: through it?

533
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 4: So trauma is stored in the body, and we can

534
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 4: suppress our trauma and we know that, but it's almost

535
00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:23,641
Speaker 4: like it's a buzzword at the moment in your space.

536
00:21:23,761 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 4: And yes, everyone does have it, but I think you

537
00:21:26,481 --> 00:21:28,801
Speaker 4: need to be really cautious about how you're using that

538
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,001
Speaker 4: word in a space where there's some traumas that are

539
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 4: massive and horrific, and it doesn't make the ones that

540
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 4: are smaller any less important. But trauma has become something

541
00:21:38,721 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 4: that's just a bit of a buzzword, like trigger was

542
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,321
Speaker 4: a buzzword for a minute there, and now we're talking

543
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:45,360
Speaker 4: about trauma, right, So don't flex it if you're not

544
00:21:45,441 --> 00:21:47,841
Speaker 4: willing to either be really vulnerable and how you're supporting

545
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 4: yourself with it or vulnerable around wanting to change it.

546
00:21:50,521 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 4: That's something that that's a good point passionate on speaking to.

547
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 4: So I support my clients with bringing the unconscious conscious.

548
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 4: So a lot of shadow work involved with what I

549
00:22:00,241 --> 00:22:02,721
Speaker 4: do and what that allows and can look like is

550
00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:05,761
Speaker 4: suppressed memories and events and experience, and they can be

551
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,400
Speaker 4: really big things. Well they could be things that we

552
00:22:08,441 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 4: look at that are quite simple. I have a past

553
00:22:11,201 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 4: client of mine who, when we did a process, brought

554
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 4: a memory forward. She was around six or seven. She

555
00:22:16,521 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 4: was plating her little sister's heir. She's learning to plat,

556
00:22:18,441 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 4: and then her mom comes over and her mom's just like,

557
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,561
Speaker 4: we're in a rush, We've got to go hurry up,

558
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:23,801
Speaker 4: Like I'll do it. She's goes, no, no, no, I

559
00:22:23,801 --> 00:22:25,321
Speaker 4: can do it, Mom, I can do it, and she's like, no, no, no,

560
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 4: got to get out the door. And that was the

561
00:22:27,441 --> 00:22:29,041
Speaker 4: first time that she thought that she wasn't good enough

562
00:22:29,041 --> 00:22:31,801
Speaker 4: to do something, and so her unconscious mind went and

563
00:22:32,041 --> 00:22:34,121
Speaker 4: seek to evidence for the rest of her human life

564
00:22:34,241 --> 00:22:36,041
Speaker 4: to confirm she wasn't good enough. And that's the first

565
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,960
Speaker 4: time that she felt that way. Now this is a

566
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 4: really my kids this way, like we'll create trauma for

567
00:22:41,481 --> 00:22:44,561
Speaker 4: our kids. It's a part of the process. Unfortunately it sucks,

568
00:22:44,561 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 4: but it's a part of it. And I think that

569
00:22:45,961 --> 00:22:48,521
Speaker 4: there's that moment there that was locked in for her

570
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 4: and was such a simple thing that may have created

571
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 4: a bigger traumas and experiences and events in other areas

572
00:22:53,921 --> 00:22:56,241
Speaker 4: of her life down the track. So it can look

573
00:22:56,281 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 4: like that, and it can be things that are really

574
00:22:57,801 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 4: big and horrific that are already there that you already

575
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,561
Speaker 4: know that you need to work through. But I think

576
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 4: that trauma are memories that you store in your body.

577
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:08,041
Speaker 4: And that might not be the proven scientific answer, but

578
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,880
Speaker 4: that's what I feel it is, and that's how it

579
00:23:09,961 --> 00:23:12,001
Speaker 4: is for my clients, and that's how we work through it,

580
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,801
Speaker 4: because it's stored in your body, so we will release

581
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,721
Speaker 4: that through emotional change therapy as well as shadow work

582
00:23:16,721 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 4: and energetics and unpacking these parts of you and sometimes

583
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:24,761
Speaker 4: not good enough being the limited belief, it's deeply embedded.

584
00:23:24,761 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 4: Like it took us a few sessions to get to

585
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,321
Speaker 4: that point to bring that memory forward. And once it

586
00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 4: came up, like you know, that was emotions and tears

587
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,880
Speaker 4: and things, and she was just like this seems so silly,

588
00:23:32,961 --> 00:23:35,521
Speaker 4: Like this really is this how I feel like remembering

589
00:23:35,561 --> 00:23:38,041
Speaker 4: that little version of me that thought she could do something,

590
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,521
Speaker 4: she was so sure of herself, and then to be

591
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,521
Speaker 4: told no, you can't. And then where that influenced other

592
00:23:42,561 --> 00:23:43,921
Speaker 4: areas of her life.

593
00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:46,241
Speaker 3: You know how you say trauma stored in the body,

594
00:23:46,281 --> 00:23:49,401
Speaker 3: Is there a common area that you find where it's stored?

595
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,561
Speaker 4: Great question. So different emotions are stored in different locations

596
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 4: from the work that I do. But for the women,

597
00:23:56,801 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 4: and this is a huge generalization for women who I

598
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 4: work with, it would usually be fear, shame and guilt

599
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,361
Speaker 4: and stored between the chest in the stomach. Yeah, it's

600
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 4: not often like a shoulder or like you know, your

601
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 4: legs and things like that, which it can be for sure,

602
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 4: but as a generalization, the heaviness is in here, the

603
00:24:15,201 --> 00:24:15,761
Speaker 4: guilt is.

604
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:22,441
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely throat, yeah, being heard things like that,

605
00:24:22,681 --> 00:24:25,281
Speaker 1: and most trauma do you think comes from those first

606
00:24:25,321 --> 00:24:27,441
Speaker 1: seven years or is it just different for everyone?

607
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,281
Speaker 4: I think that our limiting beliefs are created in those

608
00:24:31,321 --> 00:24:34,801
Speaker 4: first seven years. Then we seek evidence to affirm the

609
00:24:34,801 --> 00:24:40,041
Speaker 4: limiting belief and sometimes again huge generalization here, and sometimes

610
00:24:40,041 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 4: those traumas can be created by us putting ourselves in

611
00:24:42,921 --> 00:24:48,041
Speaker 4: situations that could potentially be due to our limiting beliefs, right,

612
00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 4: because we're seeking evidence, so we go down that path

613
00:24:50,681 --> 00:24:54,121
Speaker 4: that's a least resistance to confirm the evidence. Let's say,

614
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 4: as an example for myself, putting myself in awful relationships

615
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,601
Speaker 4: when I was younger, right where I was treated horrifically

616
00:25:00,921 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 4: because I didn't think I was good enough. There's an

617
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:05,001
Speaker 4: ownership for me in that right, like I put my

618
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 4: self there. I allowed that to continue. And not that

619
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,481
Speaker 4: I'm saying that that's justifiable but for anyone, But I'm

620
00:25:11,561 --> 00:25:13,441
Speaker 4: saying that that is because I had a limited belief

621
00:25:13,441 --> 00:25:16,041
Speaker 4: of I'm not good enough between zero and seven that

622
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,281
Speaker 4: then my body and my mind went and seek evidence

623
00:25:18,321 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 4: to confirm.

624
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 1: Because that's what you thought you were worth. So you

625
00:25:21,441 --> 00:25:24,281
Speaker 1: don't know to get any more than that. Yeah.

626
00:25:24,321 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 4: Wow.

627
00:25:25,281 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: I would love to talk about the different processes because

628
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,561
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people will get scared to

629
00:25:29,561 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: go and book a session about trauma. What are the

630
00:25:32,201 --> 00:25:33,321
Speaker 1: process that you take them through?

631
00:25:33,321 --> 00:25:33,440
Speaker 3: Like?

632
00:25:33,561 --> 00:25:37,761
Speaker 1: Is it breath work? Is it visualizations? Like combination and

633
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:41,281
Speaker 1: combination like that's do you have one thing that you

634
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:43,521
Speaker 1: do or is it like every client's going to be different.

635
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,921
Speaker 4: I think that, well, every client can be different from

636
00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,401
Speaker 4: when we start the process. But act the emotional change

637
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,001
Speaker 4: therapy that ire utilizing my coaching. I definitely utilize that

638
00:25:52,481 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 4: and breath and meditation and just coming back into your

639
00:25:55,441 --> 00:25:58,881
Speaker 4: body and your unconscious mind is so available to give

640
00:25:58,921 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 4: you the information you need to move forward, Like it

641
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,841
Speaker 4: could just be getting them really grounded and anchored. As

642
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,561
Speaker 4: an example, I did this client last week and we

643
00:26:06,561 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 4: were unpacking something and I was like, okay, first answers

644
00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:11,401
Speaker 4: that come forward, I'm going to ask you a question.

645
00:26:11,441 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 4: I would provoke the question and we were able to

646
00:26:14,241 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 4: determine the root cause of where she was feeling, but

647
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,761
Speaker 4: it would connect to a part in her body. She's like,

648
00:26:17,801 --> 00:26:19,681
Speaker 4: I feel that like through here, and then we're like, okay,

649
00:26:19,721 --> 00:26:22,041
Speaker 4: what's that mean to you? And then we chunk down

650
00:26:22,201 --> 00:26:25,721
Speaker 4: on what that actual emotion is and then where that's stored.

651
00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:28,041
Speaker 4: And then the answer could be I don't know, right,

652
00:26:28,521 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 4: so then I'll reflect back. If you were to know,

653
00:26:30,561 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 4: what would you say? And it's like you have an answer, right,

654
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,601
Speaker 4: So unconsciously you want to protect. So it's like I say,

655
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 4: I don't know, so I can protect because you always know,

656
00:26:38,201 --> 00:26:39,161
Speaker 4: you always have an answer.

657
00:26:39,201 --> 00:26:40,761
Speaker 1: That's really interesting you say that because I feel like

658
00:26:40,801 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: I've had that in sessions. I just don't know. But

659
00:26:43,321 --> 00:26:45,521
Speaker 1: then yeah you do, Okay, Well if you didn't know,

660
00:26:45,561 --> 00:26:47,561
Speaker 1: what would you assume? What would you guess? It's like

661
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,081
Speaker 1: when you think this, yeah.

662
00:26:48,921 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 4: When you flip it for a decision and if it

663
00:26:51,681 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 4: lands on the wrong side and you're disappointed, like, well

664
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,001
Speaker 4: now no, yeah, I think, but it's like you actually

665
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,801
Speaker 4: already know three two one. When you're like making decision

666
00:26:59,921 --> 00:27:03,761
Speaker 4: or you're having an issue internally, three two one, what's

667
00:27:03,761 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 4: the answer.

668
00:27:04,321 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 3: As soon as it's don't overthink it.

669
00:27:06,001 --> 00:27:08,321
Speaker 4: Don't let your self overthink it, don't let self protect it.

670
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,321
Speaker 1: There's a lot of people just are so not connected

671
00:27:10,321 --> 00:27:13,001
Speaker 1: with themselves as well that they don't believe the intuitional

672
00:27:13,001 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: they don't trust it. So that's why they say, I

673
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,161
Speaker 1: don't know. It's when you're also connected to yourself.

674
00:27:17,281 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 5: Yes, you do know, absolutely trust that otherwise yes, absolutely, Yeah,

675
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,641
Speaker 5: and on that journey, like, you've got to confirm that

676
00:27:24,761 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 5: brick wall of evidence to know that you're good enough

677
00:27:27,441 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 5: to have that self belief.

678
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:30,641
Speaker 4: So if that wall is built and constructed of only

679
00:27:30,681 --> 00:27:32,640
Speaker 4: a lack of self love and lack of self belief,

680
00:27:33,041 --> 00:27:35,321
Speaker 4: of course it's really hard to draw forward that answer

681
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 4: in yourself to know what you want to do to

682
00:27:36,801 --> 00:27:39,241
Speaker 4: move the needle. But you've just got to keep building

683
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:41,241
Speaker 4: that brick wall, build again and again and again until

684
00:27:41,241 --> 00:27:42,281
Speaker 4: it's bigger than the other.

685
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,640
Speaker 1: One, but like overtowering it and solid.

686
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,641
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it's massive, but for most of us, we're

687
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,481
Speaker 4: only starting the work around now in the last few years. Yeah,

688
00:27:51,761 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 4: before that was a shit shows. Yeah, so it's like

689
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,281
Speaker 4: that brick wall's got some time.

690
00:27:58,521 --> 00:28:01,360
Speaker 1: The twenties are almost like your warm up. Hey, I've

691
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: got a staff member who just turned twenty and she's like,

692
00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: these are my serious year, Like this and I'm going

693
00:28:05,681 --> 00:28:06,641
Speaker 1: to find someone that have kids.

694
00:28:06,681 --> 00:28:09,801
Speaker 3: And I was like, don't you you believe when you're

695
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:11,441
Speaker 3: twenty Like, oh, I'm getting my line.

696
00:28:11,241 --> 00:28:15,041
Speaker 1: Now fully got it sorted. But I said, dressed, you're

697
00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:16,401
Speaker 1: going to get to know who you are. You need

698
00:28:16,441 --> 00:28:18,681
Speaker 1: to know who your true friends are. When you hit thirty,

699
00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:20,681
Speaker 1: that's when I feel like you're more centered in ground

700
00:28:20,681 --> 00:28:22,481
Speaker 1: and you're like, Okay, now I know what I want.

701
00:28:22,761 --> 00:28:24,801
Speaker 1: I don't about forties and not there yet. But that's

702
00:28:24,801 --> 00:28:26,561
Speaker 1: why I felt twenties or a warm up thirty. I

703
00:28:26,561 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, now I'm really clear on what I

704
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:29,281
Speaker 1: want and who I want around.

705
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:31,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like I turn thirty and I was like,

706
00:28:31,481 --> 00:28:34,001
Speaker 4: oh yeah, this guy's open up.

707
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: That's what I felt.

708
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:37,001
Speaker 4: I get it now. Also, my knees changed. I don't

709
00:28:37,001 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 4: know about it.

710
00:28:37,921 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: You feel you Yes, my gewl's changed so much change.

711
00:28:44,801 --> 00:28:49,481
Speaker 3: Yes, you were saying before e c T. Did you

712
00:28:49,521 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 3: say can we chat a little bit more about that?

713
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 3: Because I think you touched on that in the last episode,

714
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:55,521
Speaker 3: didn't you, But just in case I haven't heard that episode.

715
00:28:55,681 --> 00:28:58,321
Speaker 4: Yeah, cool. So it's very similar to timeline therapy. I'm

716
00:28:58,321 --> 00:28:59,921
Speaker 4: not sure if you guys have heard of that before

717
00:28:59,961 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 4: that was invented, and no one come at me if

718
00:29:01,961 --> 00:29:03,721
Speaker 4: I'm getting this wrong. It's been a while since I lonely.

719
00:29:04,081 --> 00:29:06,521
Speaker 4: That was invented in nineteen seventy by a guy called

720
00:29:06,561 --> 00:29:08,041
Speaker 4: Tad James. I'm nervous now saying.

721
00:29:07,841 --> 00:29:09,401
Speaker 1: That, because that's just where you go back in time

722
00:29:09,441 --> 00:29:10,761
Speaker 1: to find the memory and feel it.

723
00:29:10,841 --> 00:29:11,321
Speaker 4: Essentially.

724
00:29:11,481 --> 00:29:12,241
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.

725
00:29:12,281 --> 00:29:15,240
Speaker 4: And then the spin on that is emotional change therapy

726
00:29:15,241 --> 00:29:17,041
Speaker 4: that was invented by Elizabeth and Walker, who I did

727
00:29:17,121 --> 00:29:19,321
Speaker 4: my training with on the Gold Coast. It's a much

728
00:29:19,441 --> 00:29:22,521
Speaker 4: faster process in terms of getting the result and releasing

729
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:23,481
Speaker 4: stagnant trauma.

730
00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:24,921
Speaker 1: So what do you do with that?

731
00:29:26,201 --> 00:29:29,041
Speaker 4: I read from a specific script and I include the

732
00:29:29,081 --> 00:29:33,001
Speaker 4: limiting belief or the emotion negative emotion that we're releasing,

733
00:29:33,641 --> 00:29:36,721
Speaker 4: which takes people back to a time. Act is done

734
00:29:36,841 --> 00:29:40,041
Speaker 4: with connection. So breath. We'll ground you into it with

735
00:29:40,041 --> 00:29:42,561
Speaker 4: a meditation and then we'll go through that process. And

736
00:29:42,601 --> 00:29:45,041
Speaker 4: it's just really about connecting to you and allowing your

737
00:29:45,121 --> 00:29:48,081
Speaker 4: unconscious mind to come forward. Some people will want to

738
00:29:48,121 --> 00:29:50,761
Speaker 4: protect it to the end, so quite often it will

739
00:29:50,801 --> 00:29:53,841
Speaker 4: be I only see black, Chris, don't see anything else somewhere?

740
00:29:53,921 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 4: Is that just the ego coming up, not wanting concept

741
00:29:56,241 --> 00:29:58,921
Speaker 4: and not wanting to be vulnerable. Yeah, it's a scary thing.

742
00:29:59,241 --> 00:30:01,841
Speaker 4: If you've not ever been shown that vulnerability was safe,

743
00:30:02,001 --> 00:30:04,761
Speaker 4: you will protect it all costs. Right. You will sit

744
00:30:04,801 --> 00:30:06,641
Speaker 4: there and you'll tell me that you don't know the answer,

745
00:30:06,681 --> 00:30:08,841
Speaker 4: that it's black. There's nothing there, there's nothing there, and

746
00:30:08,881 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 4: we can do this for six hours. But there is

747
00:30:11,281 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 4: something there. But you've got to trust it, and you've

748
00:30:13,201 --> 00:30:16,201
Speaker 4: got to be vulnerable enough to go into that. Yeah.

749
00:30:16,881 --> 00:30:18,761
Speaker 1: I had a girlfriend once say to me, I said,

750
00:30:18,801 --> 00:30:21,001
Speaker 1: I first started my self development years and years ago,

751
00:30:21,041 --> 00:30:23,001
Speaker 1: but it always stuck with me because it maybe first

752
00:30:23,041 --> 00:30:24,801
Speaker 1: of all made me feel like, fuck, something a lot's

753
00:30:24,801 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: wrong with me. But we were talking about Truman like

754
00:30:27,601 --> 00:30:29,121
Speaker 1: child or stuff, and she was like, I don't have

755
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,441
Speaker 1: any of that. Like I had great parents, they never

756
00:30:31,521 --> 00:30:33,401
Speaker 1: hit me. Like I went to great school. I didn't

757
00:30:33,401 --> 00:30:35,321
Speaker 1: miss out on anything. I got to do all the sports,

758
00:30:35,441 --> 00:30:38,401
Speaker 1: Like we've got amazing cousins. Like I just don't have

759
00:30:38,561 --> 00:30:41,161
Speaker 1: anything bad that happened, Like I just must be the

760
00:30:41,201 --> 00:30:43,761
Speaker 1: lucky one. I remember just thinking fuck, like, well I'm

761
00:30:43,801 --> 00:30:47,481
Speaker 1: really unlucky. Then I'm really fucked up. But like as

762
00:30:47,521 --> 00:30:50,441
Speaker 1: our friendship continued, I definitely saw things and I was like, yeah,

763
00:30:50,441 --> 00:30:52,601
Speaker 1: it might not have been a huge event, but there

764
00:30:52,721 --> 00:30:55,401
Speaker 1: is micro trauma's I think for everyone. Do you agree

765
00:30:55,681 --> 00:30:59,121
Speaker 1: we all have stored energy, Like, there's got to be moments.

766
00:30:59,161 --> 00:31:01,481
Speaker 4: It could be in the way that she people pleases people. Yeah,

767
00:31:01,681 --> 00:31:05,761
Speaker 4: she compensates or she always says sorry. You know, trauma.

768
00:31:05,881 --> 00:31:08,641
Speaker 4: Why are you saying sorry for everything and apologizing profusely.

769
00:31:08,921 --> 00:31:11,681
Speaker 4: That's not how we live. And it's the fear of

770
00:31:11,721 --> 00:31:13,601
Speaker 4: acknowledging that too, Like if you had grew up with

771
00:31:13,601 --> 00:31:15,401
Speaker 4: a perfect little life that you thought was a perfect

772
00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:17,601
Speaker 4: little life, the perfect parents of this that there's no

773
00:31:17,681 --> 00:31:19,681
Speaker 4: human ing in the humans, right, so you know, you

774
00:31:19,761 --> 00:31:22,121
Speaker 4: might not know that your mum or dad had an

775
00:31:22,121 --> 00:31:24,121
Speaker 4: affair because that was kept from you. But we did

776
00:31:24,161 --> 00:31:27,401
Speaker 4: have the perfect life, Touze, because you weren't taught vulnerability.

777
00:31:27,441 --> 00:31:30,081
Speaker 4: You weren't shown about the human experience and change and

778
00:31:30,081 --> 00:31:32,801
Speaker 4: people making mistakes. You didn't actually get to feel any

779
00:31:32,841 --> 00:31:34,841
Speaker 4: of that. So when you do fuck up, well, you

780
00:31:34,881 --> 00:31:37,601
Speaker 4: do make a mistake. I'm speaking from this friend's maybe perspective.

781
00:31:38,121 --> 00:31:39,681
Speaker 4: It's the end of the world. So let's say that

782
00:31:39,721 --> 00:31:42,561
Speaker 4: she failed a driver's test or whatever. She might have

783
00:31:42,601 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 4: felt like that was the end of the world for

784
00:31:44,241 --> 00:31:46,481
Speaker 4: her at that time because there hadn't been a lot

785
00:31:46,481 --> 00:31:49,361
Speaker 4: of mistakes in her life that was acceptable of vulnerability.

786
00:31:49,561 --> 00:31:51,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've seen it played out in her life

787
00:31:51,361 --> 00:31:54,921
Speaker 1: in that like the perfectionism. And she's also food is

788
00:31:54,961 --> 00:31:57,561
Speaker 1: her coping mechanisms. She's gained like a lot of weight,

789
00:31:57,961 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I think she's trying to keep up

790
00:31:59,521 --> 00:32:02,601
Speaker 1: this persona that like I'm perfect, My life's everything's perfect.

791
00:32:02,841 --> 00:32:04,841
Speaker 1: So I'm like, there's got to be stored something in

792
00:32:04,881 --> 00:32:06,761
Speaker 1: there out otherwise, like you wouldn't be turning to food

793
00:32:06,761 --> 00:32:08,761
Speaker 1: and you wouldn't always be putting on this front that

794
00:32:08,841 --> 00:32:11,841
Speaker 1: everything's perfect. So it was just interesting. I just feel

795
00:32:11,881 --> 00:32:13,841
Speaker 1: like sometimes people think they don't have anything, but if

796
00:32:13,841 --> 00:32:16,081
Speaker 1: you would actually be with the right coach, the right person, like,

797
00:32:16,241 --> 00:32:18,561
Speaker 1: they will bring it up and nothing's wrong with you.

798
00:32:18,641 --> 00:32:20,521
Speaker 1: It's just as part of the human experience. And even

799
00:32:20,561 --> 00:32:23,641
Speaker 1: our kids, like we're conscious parents, but definitely there'll be

800
00:32:23,681 --> 00:32:26,241
Speaker 1: somewhere where fucked the mound that they will need help

801
00:32:26,321 --> 00:32:29,361
Speaker 1: with later on with you know, work through because none

802
00:32:29,361 --> 00:32:31,321
Speaker 1: of us are perfect, no, and they have their own

803
00:32:31,361 --> 00:32:32,441
Speaker 1: experiences to go.

804
00:32:32,401 --> 00:32:34,561
Speaker 3: Through, and that's a crazy thing. Like even with different

805
00:32:34,561 --> 00:32:36,081
Speaker 3: traumas that have happened in my life.

806
00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:37,201
Speaker 1: I've got three sisters.

807
00:32:37,641 --> 00:32:39,921
Speaker 3: Some of them don't find the things traumatic and then

808
00:32:40,161 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 3: some of us do. Like so true, everyone's experience is

809
00:32:43,241 --> 00:32:45,721
Speaker 3: different and everyone was in different situations or some people

810
00:32:45,801 --> 00:32:48,561
Speaker 3: might not have seen this, or you know, it'sh so different.

811
00:32:48,641 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 1: When I spoken about my stepdad once, I remember I

812
00:32:50,441 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: can't remember which brother ors. We got two brothers, but

813
00:32:52,281 --> 00:32:54,521
Speaker 1: one of them said to me, I don't remember that happening.

814
00:32:54,881 --> 00:32:56,801
Speaker 1: I was like, how do you not remember that? That

815
00:32:56,961 --> 00:33:00,161
Speaker 1: was like so clear and traumatic for me. And he's like,

816
00:33:00,201 --> 00:33:01,641
Speaker 1: but I don't think it was that bad, Like he

817
00:33:01,681 --> 00:33:03,521
Speaker 1: didn't do that, did he? And I was like, yes

818
00:33:03,561 --> 00:33:05,161
Speaker 1: he did. And I was like, maybe you can do

819
00:33:05,201 --> 00:33:06,801
Speaker 1: it to him. Or maybe he wasn't around that time.

820
00:33:07,401 --> 00:33:09,321
Speaker 1: Maybe his brain has blocked it out because it was

821
00:33:09,361 --> 00:33:12,041
Speaker 1: too painful. Like every child and person's going to have

822
00:33:12,041 --> 00:33:14,921
Speaker 1: their own experience it and store it in a certain way.

823
00:33:15,081 --> 00:33:17,121
Speaker 4: Yeah, we delete the store and generalize every bit of

824
00:33:17,161 --> 00:33:22,441
Speaker 4: information and an experience. We're all receiving that completely differently,

825
00:33:22,641 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 4: and that's so normal. I think it's in and lp

826
00:33:26,161 --> 00:33:28,601
Speaker 4: re recognize that our conscious mind takes in I think

827
00:33:28,601 --> 00:33:30,561
Speaker 4: it's one hundred and thirty four bits per second, and

828
00:33:30,681 --> 00:33:34,001
Speaker 4: our unconscious takes in two billion per second, Like something

829
00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:35,841
Speaker 4: like you don't know what you already do? You know

830
00:33:35,881 --> 00:33:37,721
Speaker 4: when you have a dream about a group of people

831
00:33:37,721 --> 00:33:39,921
Speaker 4: and you're like, who were those random people? Who dream?

832
00:33:40,321 --> 00:33:42,241
Speaker 4: You've seen their faces before, but you don't actually know

833
00:33:42,281 --> 00:33:44,361
Speaker 4: that you've seen them, like you know you've seen them

834
00:33:44,441 --> 00:33:46,081
Speaker 4: or something, and it recreates it in the dream.

835
00:33:46,481 --> 00:33:47,161
Speaker 3: So interesting.

836
00:33:47,601 --> 00:33:50,281
Speaker 1: My kids are six and a half years apart the experience,

837
00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:52,361
Speaker 1: like my son had compared to my daughter, Like, I'm

838
00:33:52,401 --> 00:33:55,001
Speaker 1: such a different person now. I'm such a different parent

839
00:33:55,161 --> 00:33:56,881
Speaker 1: to my little girl to how I was to him

840
00:33:56,921 --> 00:33:58,721
Speaker 1: when he was her age, because I was in a

841
00:33:58,761 --> 00:34:00,801
Speaker 1: different part of my life, I'd done different growth, I'd

842
00:34:00,801 --> 00:34:03,321
Speaker 1: worked three more traumas. I don't have anxiety attacks anymore,

843
00:34:03,321 --> 00:34:04,761
Speaker 1: like I've had them all the time when he was

844
00:34:04,761 --> 00:34:07,641
Speaker 1: little boy. Like it is different for the children as well,

845
00:34:07,641 --> 00:34:10,881
Speaker 1: compared to where the parents actually at as well, how much.

846
00:34:10,801 --> 00:34:13,081
Speaker 4: They remember, Yeah, when they were born, in.

847
00:34:13,081 --> 00:34:17,041
Speaker 1: Our energy, how we were coping with life. They feel definitely. Yeah,

848
00:34:17,401 --> 00:34:19,201
Speaker 1: Sometimes I like rush the kids to bed, and then

849
00:34:19,521 --> 00:34:21,601
Speaker 1: other times I like, I don't care how many books

850
00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:26,241
Speaker 1: you want to do? Yeah, opacity. If you've had a

851
00:34:26,241 --> 00:34:28,361
Speaker 1: really hard day, it's like, I don't want to read

852
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:29,441
Speaker 1: that the same.

853
00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:30,121
Speaker 4: Book four times.

854
00:34:30,721 --> 00:34:32,001
Speaker 1: I'm sick of the wonkey donkey.

855
00:34:34,881 --> 00:34:37,601
Speaker 4: Yes, my son's spelling now, so I don't know if

856
00:34:37,601 --> 00:34:40,721
Speaker 4: you guys obviously have gone through that, but spelling everything.

857
00:34:40,761 --> 00:34:42,561
Speaker 4: And I spelled out something because I was trying to

858
00:34:42,601 --> 00:34:46,041
Speaker 4: have a private conversation with my mom and and I

859
00:34:46,041 --> 00:34:50,521
Speaker 4: was like, crap. But spelling is his thing. So when

860
00:34:50,521 --> 00:34:52,321
Speaker 4: we read books, we spell everything.

861
00:34:55,161 --> 00:34:59,561
Speaker 1: Yes, there will be doing three pages of the whole book.

862
00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:06,401
Speaker 1: I feel like we've covered so much. Yeah, thank you

863
00:35:06,441 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: so much once again for being here.

864
00:35:08,361 --> 00:35:12,521
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me to have you go a different directions.

865
00:35:11,121 --> 00:35:13,761
Speaker 1: I always so much to talk about.

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Speaker 3: Hey, and Chris, where can everybody find you at?

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Speaker 4: Inside Out with Chris And that's basically me everywhere, including

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Speaker 4: the website Inside Out with Chris Kris. Jump over to

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Speaker 4: the website, go to the free resources tab to get

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Speaker 4: the twenty one day wellness reset. Also when you jump

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Speaker 4: on the website now, they'll be a little pop up

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Speaker 4: for my free shadow Work ebook, which is an introduction

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Speaker 4: to shadow work. If you heard the word before and

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Speaker 4: you want to just play into that a little bit

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Speaker 4: or learn a bit more about yourself, then definitely start there.

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Speaker 4: There's over fifty shadow work journal problems with that as well, amazing,

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Speaker 4: totally free. Just for anyone that wants to start their

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Speaker 4: journey and doesn't have the tools and resources yet to

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Speaker 4: go and get a mentor, to go and get a coach,

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Speaker 4: or they want to dabble and they're not sure of

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Speaker 4: where to start. I would definitely recommend those two things.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy, and you've got a podcast as well. Hey

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Speaker 1: Inside with Chris, Yeah, perfect.

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Speaker 4: Bloody loves It's so much fun, so good.

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Speaker 1: We'll link all your details in the description box. But otherwise,

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Speaker 1: thank you succhually big, thank you girls, and we'll see

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Speaker 1: you guys on Wednesday. Bye bye

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm