WEBVTT - #1929 Finding Your Purpose | Harps 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.800 Get a team. I hope you're bloody terrific. So I'm 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:06.120 not sure exactly where I'm going to go today, so 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:08.600 I'm bear with me. It could be good, it could 0:00:08.640 --> 0:00:12.760 be a train wreck. You choose keep listening or turn 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:17.160 off as always up to you your discretion. But I 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:22.760 do want to talk about an interesting topic, and that 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:26.479 is the topic of purpose. What is my purpose? What 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:28.720 is your purpose? Do we have a purpose? Do we 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:30.640 have one? Do we have many? How do we find it? 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:34.080 What is it? Is it a compelling force? Is it 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:37.040 our kind of north star? Do we default to our 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:40.839 purpose to figure out what we should do and not 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:43.640 do and what decisions we should make, an action we 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:47.839 should take, and how we should respond. And this is 0:00:48.640 --> 0:00:53.440 a conversation, just the broad purpose conversation I've been having 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:57.280 with people for a long time, people that are training 0:00:57.320 --> 0:01:00.040 with me or being mentored or coached by me, but 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.040 also you know, people that have helped me along the way, 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:05.400 and also just you know friends and family where we 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:08.480 just talk about stuff. So what I'm about to share 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:12.560 with you is definitely not, you know, the final word 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:15.800 on purpose, but it's my thoughts on it. It's my 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:21.320 thoughts on it based on you know, my research and 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.440 my work and my interactions and my journey and my 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:29.400 personal you know fuck ups and failures and breakthroughs and breakdowns, 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:33.000 and my own soul searching and my own kind of 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:37.279 you know, journey that has taken me far and wide 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:38.720 and out of that. I've got a bit of an 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:44.720 idea about for me what purpose is, so we might 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:48.440 start there. And obviously this is just my thoughts. So 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:56.640 for me, purpose is purpose is My purpose is? Well, 0:01:56.680 --> 0:02:02.120 it can be found at the what's the right term, 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.720 I don't know, at the intersection maybe of where my 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:10.880 beliefs and values and goals I should probably write nights 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:17.040 and passion and connection and contribution and meaning and growth 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:22.119 and pain and joy. It's where all that stuff kind 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:27.760 of intersects. It's not always fun like out finding our purpose, 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:34.440 being aligned to our purpose, operating within the parameters of 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:39.240 our purpose, and trying to live our purpose in the 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.240 middle of trials and tribulations and tricky situations and peaks 0:02:43.240 --> 0:02:47.760 and troughs and emotions and tough relationships and good days 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:51.800 and bad days and physical mental emotional challenges, and trying 0:02:51.840 --> 0:02:54.120 to live our purpose in the middle of all of that. 0:02:54.560 --> 0:03:00.240 Whatever our purpose is can be a challenge, and I 0:03:00.280 --> 0:03:06.840 think one of my early questions was, what is it 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.160 even like this idea of, you know, when you find 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:12.000 your kind of I think the story that I grew 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:13.799 up with and maybe you grew up with is that 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:16.320 when you find your purpose, well, your life will be 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:19.600 better and then you'll know how to live because you'll 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:23.000 live a life of purpose and a life of choices 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:26.600 and behaviors and lifestyle and relationships and all of those 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:32.120 things aligned to that purpose that you somehow figure out 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:35.520 what that is. But one, how do we figure out 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:41.280 what it is? Two? Is it one thing? Like? Do 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:47.880 you only have a purpose? Yes? My purpose is to 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:52.640 help people get in shape. Okay, well, surely there's more 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.160 to you, Craig than that. Maybe that was one of 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:58.360 your purposes. Maybe we have a bunch of not a 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:03.040 single purpose. But maybe maybe the overarching purpose for me 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.600 might be in this little example that I am valuable 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:10.120 to others, that I am at the service of others. 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:12.960 Maybe that's my purpose. And by the way, of course, 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.640 I do a lot of things in my life which 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:19.279 don't fall under the banner of you know, living in purpose. 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:21.680 That might be I'm you know, it might be I'm 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:23.720 going to the gym or I'm riding my motorbike, and 0:04:23.760 --> 0:04:25.760 I ain't part of my purpose. It's just shit that 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:27.560 I do. But if I go, well, what is my 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:32.240 compelling force? What is the thing that really drives me 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:34.839 to learn and grow and evolve and to serve? What 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:39.480 does that look like? And so for me, you know 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.240 that part of my purpose at the very least is 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:49.320 serving others and learning and teaching, and I guess, I 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:56.040 guess helping people to understand their own potential. And that's 0:04:56.040 --> 0:05:01.800 something that I've really been what's the word, not frustrated, 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:07.080 but almost frustrated with almost anxious, not anxious, sad about 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:12.480 with people where I see people's potential. I see people's 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:16.800 capacity to do great things often when they don't see it. 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.719 And you know, so often especially when I'm for example, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.040 doing a mentoring group, like I'm in the well, I'm 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:26.400 not in the middle. I'm week nine. I finished week 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:28.880 nine of ten weeks last night with a group that 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:31.599 I'm with and they're great and we have a good time. 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:37.120 And you know, essentially in a mentoring group, there's there's 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.320 some interaction, there's some Q and A, there's some back 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:43.240 and forth. But a lot of it is me sharing 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:47.240 thoughts and ideas and strategies and messages and downloading hopefully 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:53.280 a bit of inspiration and information and education. But ultimately, 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.200 what I am giving them all I can give them 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:59.640 on an interactive zoom call to people all around Australia 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.280 and around the world. All I can share is the 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:06.960 theory of whatever it is we're talking about. All I 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:12.200 can do is provide the theory of you know, food 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:15.600 or exercise, or lifestyle, or self management or self awareness 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:19.600 or self regulation or building a business, or overcoming addiction, 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:23.040 or being the calm and the chaos equanimity, or all 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.440 of these great things that we talk about, you know, 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:30.080 creating change, creating positive and lasting change. You know, reprogramming 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:33.320 our mind, creating a new normal and new default setting, 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:35.640 and you know who we want to become and our 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:38.320 reason and our drivers and all of those things. Right, 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:42.400 And I'm constantly doing what I'm doing now, which is 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:47.520 I'm talking to someone or someone's But my frustration, on 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:54.960 my my angst lies in how do I actually get 0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:58.560 people too? And I know I can't, but how do 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:01.160 I talk in a way, How do I anyway even 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:03.000 in this moment, how do I share these thoughts and 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:07.000 ideas around purpose that's going to be valuable to people, 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:10.320 to you the listener, and then more importantly, perhaps not 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.080 only how do I make it valuable and how do 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:17.680 I make it relevant and meaningful and understandable, but how 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:22.880 do I increase the chances of you doing something with 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:27.440 the theory that you hear right now? And so that's, 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:29.920 you know, that's one of my ever present thoughts is 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:34.720 how do I get people to lean into their own ability, 0:07:34.800 --> 0:07:38.760 to be courageous, be brave, step out of the little 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.240 safety in it that they live in or the little 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:43.240 box that they live in, and try new things and 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.560 do new things and fall down and get back up 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:49.120 and be okay and get embarrassed and all of that 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:52.120 stuff that's part of the human experience. And so I'm 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:57.480 always thinking about how do I help others find their 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:00.960 purpose and live purpose? And I guess their purpose and 0:08:01.480 --> 0:08:04.400 I guess, you know, part of my purpose is to 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:07.360 help others live their purpose. That's interesting, isn't it. I 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:12.200 just thought that now as I'm going so, and I 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:15.440 think another question is, and forgive me if I'm rambling, 0:08:15.480 --> 0:08:23.240 but is my purpose the same forever or is the 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:26.600 thing that drives me, my north star, my internal sat nab, 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:30.880 my reasons, whatever, whatever that all kind of intermingles with purpose. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:35.960 Is that the same when I'm twenty five or thirty five? 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:39.040 Does it evolve? Does it change? Is the thing that 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:42.120 was really could it be that the thing that was 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:45.840 really important to me to do, to be, to create, 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.800 to live when I was thirty that at sixty one 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:51.280 that's not the same anymore? And is that bad? Or 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.160 is that just an evolution or is it something else? 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:59.960 And my suggestion is that for most of us, our purpose, 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:06.360 our reason, our primary driver will evolve over time. It 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:10.480 won't be the same necessarily, and that's not good or bad. 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:15.840 But many things, most things, I would think, within the 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:20.440 context of the human experience, are fluid, They are dynamic, 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:24.800 They evolve, they change, and as you change, as you 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:28.000 learn it and grow and evolve and become more self 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:31.800 aware and open new doors and have greater understanding and 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:35.959 greater insight and greater resilience, and you learn new things, 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:38.480 and you have perhaps a different focus and a different 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:42.400 kind of lens through which you view the world, and 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:46.600 you've had new experiences and new encounters and different moments. 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:50.480 Maybe maybe in the middle of all of that, your 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:56.720 purpose is evolving, if not completely transforming. Maybe the thing 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.520 that was really important to you twenty years ago is 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:05.880 completely unimportant now. Maybe your focus, maybe your reason for being, 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:13.600 maybe your purpose is completely changed. Maybe it's come out 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:17.960 of an experience you had, Maybe you've seen something. Maybe 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:21.120 you've been in the middle of a situation, a circumstance, 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:27.840 an event happening that you had a revelation, and in 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:30.520 the middle of that experience, in the middle of that thing, 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:34.880 you realize that you wanted to do something about that. 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:38.800 Maybe you had a bad experience, and maybe you don't 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:41.080 want to have that bad experience again, and maybe you 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:44.080 want to help others not have that bad experience. And 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.720 in the middle of all of that, some passion grew, 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:51.800 some awareness grew, some inspiration and motivation grew, and this 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:55.280 became your new focus. This became your new reason, This 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:59.400 became your focus. But ten years ago, you hadn't yet 0:10:59.480 --> 0:11:06.160 had that experience, you hadn't yet had that revelation. I think, 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:11.440 like many things, you know, purpose is something that is 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:17.760 cultivated and grows and evolves, and it's kind of sometimes 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.320 you know, sometimes there might be a lightning bolt. I 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:25.320 don't think often. I think I think people think they're 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.800 going to, you know, they're going to find their purpose 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.040 one day, like they're going to find their car keys. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:32.400 It's like, in a moment, what here it is found? 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:35.520 It's over here. It's just it's just down here next 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.280 to my coffee cup. Here's my purpose, you know. And look, 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:41.760 maybe people do that, not in my experience, not with 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:45.000 the people that I've worked with. I think that it's 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:48.800 something that almost reveals itself. It kind of finds you, 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:57.640 It reveals itself over time. And I think in general terms, 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:02.760 purposes something that expands beyond the self. In the middle 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.560 of your life, it's bigger than you, it's bigger than me. 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:07.840 It's not about you necessarily. That doesn't mean that you 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:11.800 don't benefit from it, or that you can't at all 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:14.520 be looking after you. It doesn't mean that, of course, 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.400 it doesn't mean that. But I think for most people 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:20.480 it's you know, when we talk about the role of 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:27.000 surface service, that purpose often expands beyond self interest. And 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:33.439 I think I think we also confuse, you know, things, 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:37.840 certain things with purpose, like career purpose. I would argue 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:44.000 that that career does not equal purpose. I would argue 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:50.520 that career is a vehicle to perhaps live your purpose, 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:56.560 that your career could be a vehicle and purpose is 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:01.440 the destination. A career can help you express your purpose 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.640 or it can completely derail you from your purpose, depending 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:09.559 on what it is. I think also, especially in the 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:13.400 days of you know, social media and podcasts and Instagram 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.800 and all the things you know, is that people if 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:19.800 you look at how some people live, you would think 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:23.600 that their purpose was to become more and more popular. 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.600 Wherein truth and by the way, being popular, not that 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:30.720 being popular is a bad thing, but I don't know 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:38.520 that popularity is the idea that popularity equals purpose. I 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.840 don't think that's a healthy idea. I don't think that 0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:48.840 ends well. So perhaps popularity is a metric, and perhaps 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:56.520 purpose is a mission chasing validation about being liked and 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:03.920 versus living on purpose is a out being aligned. I 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:07.959 think also some people I reckon I was going to 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:09.800 say I was one of I don't think I was. 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:12.240 I think I was close to this, and that is 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:16.720 money being our purpose, Like my purpose is to make money. 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.880 Nothing wrong with making money, nothing wrong with being incredibly wealthy, 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:24.360 building a brand, building a business. Having all more dough 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.360 than you can spend, knock yourself out. Nothing bad about that. 0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:30.640 But for me, money is a resource, not a reason. 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.320 You know, money is a tool. Purpose is a truth. 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:39.400 Money can fund your mission, but it can't be your mission. 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.360 I'm going to say that again. Money can fund your mission, 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.320 but it probably shouldn't be your mission. It can be 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:50.000 a resource to help you do awesome stuff, to serve others, 0:14:50.720 --> 0:14:55.400 to create change, to be of value, to get the 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:59.360 needle moving on the things you want to move the 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:01.880 needle on. So it can be a valuable resource, but 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:05.600 it's probably not a reason for your existence. And we've 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:10.760 seen time and time again with people whose identity is 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:15.760 completely intertwined with their wealth. Well, that never ends well 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:20.160 because they never get to a number where the number 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:27.240 is satisfactory. Oh I've got two billion. I'm done. I'm happy, 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:31.560 I'm content, I'm fulfilled. I'm financially set, and I'm spiritually 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:35.800 and emotionally and socially and physically. I'm set. I'm good. 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:39.040 I got to the number. All I wanted was two billion, 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:41.200 All I wanted was two million, All I wanted was 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.000 two hundred grand. Whatever the number is, I'm at the number, 0:15:44.040 --> 0:15:48.400 and now I'm good because money is not purpose. Money 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:52.760 is a tool, money is a resource, and maybe maybe 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.120 part of your mission is to create lots and lots 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.440 and lots of dough so you can help lots and 0:15:58.480 --> 0:16:01.400 lots of people. And I'm not trying to sound judge 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:05.160 you here, and as I'm saying, I'm thinking, maybe it 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.080 does sound a bit judge. I don't think there's anything 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:11.320 wrong with making lots of money. I make reasonable money. 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.560 I get paid quite well for my corporate speaking all 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:16.840 of those things, and I'm very grateful. But in the 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:19.280 middle of all of that, I realize what it is 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:21.160 and what it isn't and what money is for me, 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:24.120 And I think what money probably should be for most 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:28.040 of us is something that we can use to do good, 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.640 do good for ourselves, or do good for others. That's 0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:37.280 just my slightly moralistic take on money. Do with what 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:39.440 you will. And I think the last one, so we've 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:43.160 got career, money, popularity. The last one on the you 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:50.760 know kind of purpose, fake purpose kind of list is 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:56.880 comfort And you know, comfort is a state and purpose 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:00.640 is a compass. Like we don't find perp in the 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:05.840 comfort zone generally. Again, nothing wrong with being comfortable. But 0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:08.919 when our mission in life is to take the easy path, 0:17:10.040 --> 0:17:14.239 when our reason for choosing anything is because it's the 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:18.879 most comfortable route, very very likely that we're going to 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:20.879 be fulfilled, that we're going to grow, that we're going 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:24.359 to evolve, that we're going to become a better version 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:31.080 of us. And back to the matter of how do 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:38.359 we find or identify or cultivate our purpose. I think 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.439 this is a weird saying, but I think the clues 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:45.119 are in the pain. I think the clues are in 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:49.960 the pain. Think about, like what breaks your heart, think 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:55.720 about what upsets you, think about what pisces you off, 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:57.800 What do you want to fight for? What do you 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:02.280 want to fix? As I said before, you know, purpose 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:08.320 often grows from or a rises out of adversity or 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:15.600 deep emotion. And as I intimated before, for me, it's 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:23.480 painful watching people suffer that I know don't need to suffer. 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:26.119 I know they've got the potential to rise above that, 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:30.719 to do better, create better, produce better. People that I 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:35.800 see who are wasting their body, they're wasting their genetics 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:40.240 because they're doing bad, self destructive things to their body. 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.200 And I'm not being judgmental I'm being compassionate. I don't 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.960 care what they look like or what they weigh. There's 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:51.040 no judgment in terms of you know, aesthetics or anything like. 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.960 It's only about I want you to have a healthy 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.160 body to live in for as long as possible. And 0:18:57.280 --> 0:19:00.840 I'm watching you and I'm seeing you destroy your body 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:04.840 with bad behaviors and bad choices, and it makes me 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.520 sad because I know that you can be healthy and 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:10.919 amazing and so too, you know, with other habits and 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:16.080 other you know, people who have talked themselves into a 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:21.040 corner where they have convinced themselves that they're useless, that 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:24.119 they're hopeless, that they are inept, that they are unlovable, 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:27.639 that they are untalented, that they don't have the potential 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:32.919 to create something special. And I see more potential in 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:35.400 them than they've ever seen. I see more in five 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:39.640 seconds than they've seen in themselves in five decades sometimes. 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.199 And so for me that you know, the clues are 0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:45.600 in the pain. That's where part of it came from. 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:47.480 For me, for being the fat kid, the kid that 0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:51.439 was picked last, all those boring Craig Harper stories, all 0:19:51.480 --> 0:19:53.960 of that bullshit, right, But at the same time, that 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:57.520 bullshit was real. That bullshit was painful, It was uncomfortable, 0:19:57.840 --> 0:20:01.560 it was emotional, you know, falling down and failing and 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:04.720 being embarrassed and humiliated and all of that kind of 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.480 you know, marginalized somewhat at times, all of that shit, 0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:09.600 which is part of the human experience, of course, but 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:15.440 for me, that really compelled me to one do better 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:19.000 for myself and then off the back of that, help 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:25.800 others do better also. So all right, heading towards the end, 0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:28.199 I want to weave in a couple of kind of 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:36.320 psychological and vaguely research based well not vaguely research psychology threads, 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.320 not high level science. But you know, one of my 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:45.520 favorite authors was Victor Frankel, who of course wrote Man's 0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:51.280 Search for Meaning and also developed logo therapy, form of 0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:59.280 kind of existential psychology, psychotherapy based on the based on 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:03.679 the idea that the primary human driver is not as 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:09.199 much pleasure or power, but meaning, and so he was 0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:12.920 all about this purpose and meaning. Victor Frankel, of course, 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:17.560 he was a survivor of being a prisoner of war 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:23.440 in the Second World War, and he was an Austrian psychiatrist. 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:26.040 But one of his famous quotes was those who have 0:21:26.119 --> 0:21:32.280 a why to live can bear almost any how. Those 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.520 who have a why, a reason, a driver, a purpose, 0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:40.000 I'm adding in some Craig words, to live can bear 0:21:40.080 --> 0:21:44.920 almost any how. And he did that. He was one 0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:49.800 of the few people that survived the most horrendous, heinous, horrible, 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:55.359 inhumane conditions. And then you know, in the middle of 0:21:56.440 --> 0:22:00.800 I can't remember if he said this or I just 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.480 thought he said this, but I'm pretty sure he said 0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:07.600 they can something like they can take everything from me, 0:22:07.680 --> 0:22:10.480 but they can't take my mind. And I love that. 0:22:10.920 --> 0:22:14.359 I love that. I love that, as hard as it is, 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:17.919 sometimes we still get to manage what goes on in 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:22.480 our head. Ain't always easy, of course. And I also 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:26.200 love a concept called icky guy, which is ikey guy 0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:30.879 spelled I k i g ai ikey guy, which is 0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:38.120 a Japanese concept. And in this concept, it's really the 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:43.120 intersection of what you love, what you're good at, what 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:46.520 the world needs, and what you can be paid for. 0:22:47.760 --> 0:22:51.360 And I love that because that's where for me, I 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:54.360 think that sentence, and I'm very grateful because it took 0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:58.960 me a very long time that that concept, that word, 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:03.439 that term iky guy, that's almost representative of my life now. 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:07.439 It wasn't for a long time. But I'll just say again, 0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:09.720 I'll just share it with you again. So ikey guy. 0:23:09.800 --> 0:23:13.359 That the Japanese term for essentially what it means is 0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:17.800 it is the intersection of what you love, what you're 0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:21.320 passionate about, what you're good at doing, what you excel at, 0:23:21.400 --> 0:23:24.000 what the world needs, as in what people need, what 0:23:24.040 --> 0:23:26.600 you're bringing to the world, remember, a purpose bigger than 0:23:26.600 --> 0:23:29.760 you and something you can make a few bucks from. 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:40.120 It exactly describes part of my life anyway. Number three 0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:43.160 on my little list here that I've got is self 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:51.160 determination theory, which is autonomy, competence, and relatedness are essential 0:23:51.359 --> 0:23:56.800 psychological needs. I'll say him again. Autonomy, competence, and relatedness 0:23:57.359 --> 0:24:03.000 are all essential psychological needs, and they often correlate with purpose. 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:07.600 Is you figuring out who you are, who you want 0:24:07.640 --> 0:24:11.440 to be, what you want to connect with, what your 0:24:11.520 --> 0:24:14.680 reason is. And in the middle of all of that 0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:21.360 sometimes we find clarity about why we're here or our 0:24:21.400 --> 0:24:24.280 ideas about why we're here and what we're going to 0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:26.359 do and who we're going to be or who we 0:24:26.400 --> 0:24:30.040 want to be moving forward and building creating I guess 0:24:30.240 --> 0:24:35.040 a purpose driven life an aligned life, a life and 0:24:35.040 --> 0:24:39.919 an operating system, a way of being, an existence that 0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:45.800 is reflective of you know, our values, our faith, our beliefs, 0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:48.640 the things that matter to us, the things we want 0:24:48.680 --> 0:24:55.560 to do, be create, change, our goals. And the last 0:24:55.560 --> 0:24:57.880 one I want to share with you is a little 0:24:57.880 --> 0:25:00.159 bit of a red herring compared to the rest, a 0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:03.479 little bit of an outlier. It's interesting though, And so 0:25:03.520 --> 0:25:08.960 there's been research looking at the correlation between or the 0:25:09.000 --> 0:25:13.600 relationship between life satisfaction. So you would think a person 0:25:13.720 --> 0:25:16.360 living their purpose would have a high level of satisfaction. 0:25:16.920 --> 0:25:20.520 So we might tie those in purpose, life satisfaction, and 0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:26.800 mortality and mortality studies, I should say. And so what 0:25:26.840 --> 0:25:30.600 we know is that purpose correlates with living our purpose, 0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:34.679 having a clearly defined purpose, executing that living in the 0:25:34.680 --> 0:25:39.639 middle of it correlates with reduced risk of Alzheimer's, of 0:25:39.720 --> 0:25:45.399 cardiovascular disease, and of depression. So living a purpose filled 0:25:45.560 --> 0:25:52.080 or purpose driven life is literally good for our health. Alrighty, 0:25:52.320 --> 0:25:57.439 So let me finish with four questions that just simple 0:25:57.520 --> 0:26:01.119 questions to think about that might help you find a 0:26:01.119 --> 0:26:05.320 little bit of clarity. Questions that I've asked myself and 0:26:05.359 --> 0:26:09.479 I ask others about this. So question one is this, 0:26:11.040 --> 0:26:16.240 if you weren't worried about money failure or judgment, what 0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:20.160 would you do more of? If you weren't worried about 0:26:20.240 --> 0:26:24.800 money failure or the judgment of others, what would you 0:26:24.880 --> 0:26:32.080 do more of? Question two, what's something that you do 0:26:32.920 --> 0:26:39.320 that energizes you but drains others? What's something that you 0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:44.560 can do that energizes you but drains others? And also 0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:50.520 I would suspect in the energizing gives you joy. I 0:26:50.520 --> 0:26:54.040 guess for me, I was thinking about that what energizes like, 0:26:54.080 --> 0:27:00.280 what energizes me is talking to an audience. And it's 0:27:00.280 --> 0:27:03.720 so funny that sometimes I can talk for three hours 0:27:04.560 --> 0:27:10.399 and I come away from that. I might get on 0:27:10.480 --> 0:27:13.119 stage at nine o'clock and finish at twelve or twelve thirty, 0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:15.120 and we've had a small break, but essentially I've been 0:27:15.160 --> 0:27:18.879 speaking for three hours, and I literally have better energy 0:27:19.080 --> 0:27:22.560 at lunchtime than I did at breakfast time, despite the 0:27:22.640 --> 0:27:26.600 fact that I've been doing something which for many people 0:27:26.640 --> 0:27:35.159 would be overwhelmingly terrorizing and also energetically very expensive, And 0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:38.760 I'm super grateful for that. So question number three is 0:27:38.880 --> 0:27:42.919 what advice do people always come to you for like, 0:27:43.040 --> 0:27:48.040