Speaker 1: Is the Chrissy Swan Show. Everyone take a big, deep
Speaker 1: breath in and out. It should be no surprise to
Speaker 1: anybody who is alive today that the Calm app downloads
Speaker 1: have gone through the roof since the US election result yesterday.
Speaker 2: I use that up every night, regardless, Swanny. So I
Speaker 2: am an og Calm user.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's time that I download that and have a crack.
Speaker 2: I would really recommend it.
Speaker 1: The problem is, though, lately I've been falling asleep still,
Speaker 1: like with my phone on my chest, like out of
Speaker 1: the blue, like it's so it's happening so quickly that
Speaker 1: really I wouldn't even have time to turn on an app.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: God, all right, we are here with you. We have
Speaker 1: got the next two hours fully sorted for you. So
Speaker 1: climb aboard, plase please.
Speaker 2: After three o'clock and Chrissy's queasy, there's still Mitsubishi Electric
Speaker 2: air purifiers inside the bar.
Speaker 1: What a great prize, just.
Speaker 2: One, I should say. And hey, speaking of Sabrina Carpenter,
Speaker 2: who we're about to enjoy, we're going to hear an
Speaker 2: update from her boyfriend Barry Kyogan.
Speaker 1: But there's a little piggy off before the show. This
Speaker 1: was the Crissy Swan Show Time to get Cranky People
Speaker 1: Swan's sweeping statements. I feel like we could have a
Speaker 1: US election vibe in this segment today thirteen twenty four
Speaker 1: to ten. What is your sweeping statement? What is your
Speaker 1: unpopular opinion that you know, if you were sitting at
Speaker 1: a fancy dinner party and you had the courage to
Speaker 1: say what was on your mind, would get a glass
Speaker 1: of wine thrown in your face?
Speaker 2: Swanny, I think you kick us off today.
Speaker 1: I am a lover of farmers' markets, that is a fact.
Speaker 1: I love sashang. I've got a basket that I use
Speaker 1: and I feel with sour dough bread, and you know,
Speaker 1: pick your own mushrooms. I love nothing more that makes
Speaker 1: me feel alive.
Speaker 2: Usually your idea of feeling alive is dumpster diving to
Speaker 2: pick your own mush So it thrills me that you
Speaker 2: still enjoy a farmer's market.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I got the best tap still in
Speaker 1: its box with its instructions.
Speaker 2: Anyway, tap, Why do you need a tap?
Speaker 1: Man?
Speaker 2: You've got enough?
Speaker 1: Anyway. There is a farmer's market near me which is
Speaker 1: absolutely lovely, and I drive past it on the way
Speaker 1: to work every day. Sadly, I will never go there
Speaker 1: ever again. Why because written on the sign is the
Speaker 1: following Farmer's market here every first and third Sunday. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: My sweeping statement is unless you write a date on
Speaker 1: your sign advertising your event, I will never go.
Speaker 2: Spot on Chrissy Swan, who the.
Speaker 1: Hell understands the first and third Sunday of every month?
Speaker 2: Oh, jem Janet, who's remembering that?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: One to do that? It means you have to go
Speaker 2: to your life and look at your calendar to look
Speaker 2: like it's too.
Speaker 1: Much Admins, stop it. Just write the dates agreed, Or
Speaker 1: you can shove your artisanal bread.
Speaker 2: I mean you're dumpster dive anyway for it, so they
Speaker 2: probably can.
Speaker 1: That's actually right. I have found a great life of
Speaker 1: bread once in a dumpster go.
Speaker 2: My sweeping statement is that if you and this is
Speaker 2: for people out there that maybe are expecting or currently
Speaker 2: going through the vibe of picking baby names, if you
Speaker 2: have two first names, you are superior in this world.
Speaker 2: For example, Adam Brody, who is currently sort of in
Speaker 2: the zeitgeist because of nobody wants this that Netflix show. Yeah,
Speaker 2: when I saw his name, I'm like, God, that's a
Speaker 2: sick name. We're going to be speaking to Jamie Oliver
Speaker 2: in the coming days. I'm like, that guy's got a
Speaker 2: great name.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at a headline here, Margo.
Speaker 2: Robbie, great name. Two first names, another one, Matt Damon,
Speaker 2: great name.
Speaker 1: God, oh, I've got another one, weirdly, Jack Charles.
Speaker 2: Great name, that fair thirty, Nicole Richie.
Speaker 1: You are so superior and I'm here for the Chrissy
Speaker 1: Swan Show. One Pass is now available at Priceline Pharmacy
Speaker 1: and Sister Cob members are getting exclusive access to boosted perks.
Speaker 1: Start your free thirty day trial today.
Speaker 4: Learn more at priceline dot com today U Slash one Pass,
Speaker 4: TC eligibility criteria and exclusions of line.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show. Let's do this Swan's sweeping Steamers. Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you have the audacity to tell me that your
Speaker 1: event is on every first and third of the month,
Speaker 1: you'll never see me.
Speaker 2: Nevern and you're correct in I don't even understand it.
Speaker 1: I don't even understand because also some months have five Sundays. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I digress.
Speaker 2: I think if you have two first names, you are superior.
Speaker 2: For example, Adam Brody, Nicole, Ritchie Jamie Oliver. Now, I'm
Speaker 2: just going to stop down and say here, my first
Speaker 2: and last name isn't two first names. No, I know
Speaker 2: you is Jack Charles holland the name is Jack Charles.
Speaker 2: So I'm not trying to up myself here, but I
Speaker 2: did change it so it sounds like two first names.
Speaker 2: Thirteen twenty four to ten. What is your sweeping statement?
Speaker 2: Give us a call and you get a Priceline pharmacy
Speaker 2: about y'all.
Speaker 1: Hello Emily, Chrissy, Hello, my baby.
Speaker 5: It should be the Crissy Jack show. Chrissy Jack is
Speaker 5: a great name.
Speaker 1: Chrissy Jack. I mean, what could we what about Chrissy
Speaker 1: and Jack? That makes better sense? Doesn't It never has
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 5: I'm just going, you know, off the back of Jack's
Speaker 5: statement that true first names of the name is a
Speaker 5: good name. I think it's great because I listened to
Speaker 5: you and Jack and I equally tune in for Jack.
Speaker 1: I love this, and also, you know we are becoming
Speaker 1: one person, we really are, so I feel like Chrissy
Speaker 1: is our new alter ego.
Speaker 2: I love you, Emma, great.
Speaker 5: Name, and I don't even like radio shows, but I
Speaker 5: do like you, and I must say always tune in
Speaker 5: I'm always in the car at this time. See you go, Christy, Jack,
Speaker 5: Jack shout out to you.
Speaker 1: Oh that's brilliant, Emily. What can we give you gift?
Speaker 2: Emily a Priceline pharmacy about Jane. Because you've been kind
Speaker 2: as well, We're going to send you a smart Sense
Speaker 2: blender combo from Mutuble, the number one personal blender brand
Speaker 2: in the world.
Speaker 5: We love you, em God, I didn't think I did anything.
Speaker 5: How about that? And how about the bumbaga You've brought
Speaker 5: them back.
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a bum bag as well
Speaker 1: because you said nice things about my friend Jack.
Speaker 2: All right, let's go to Kelly Kell. What's your weeping state?
Speaker 4: No, Kel, Hi, Christy and Jack Morest. We think statement
Speaker 4: is guys that go to the Melbourne Cup and get
Speaker 4: all dressed up and don't wear socks with their shoes.
Speaker 4: It should be canceled.
Speaker 1: Nah, now here's the theme kill. Jack is the most
Speaker 1: stylish person I know, and I feel like you and
Speaker 1: I together can approach the bench of Judge Jackie and
Speaker 1: ask the moment for shoes without socks? Has it passed
Speaker 1: or is it still a thing?
Speaker 2: Okay? I would say up until Sunday. I would have
Speaker 2: said it. I would have said it's past because for
Speaker 2: the last couple of years I've always worn socks. I
Speaker 2: really like the sock.
Speaker 1: Look, yes, but you have you have not worn socks before.
Speaker 2: But on Tuesday I ditched the sock.
Speaker 1: Did you are you bringing it back?
Speaker 2: So no, I didn't love it like looking back, so
Speaker 2: I think I have to agree.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 2: But it depends on the outfit. It's really hard, and
Speaker 2: it depends on the person.
Speaker 1: It's hard, Kelly, it's hard.
Speaker 4: But then you see them wear pants as well that
Speaker 4: look like they're too short. Yeah, they put it on
Speaker 4: like it's.
Speaker 1: Just And the reason the reason that they wear the
Speaker 1: short pants is because they want you to see that
Speaker 1: there is no sock. That's the thing. No, it's a
Speaker 1: no win situation for you, apart from on this show,
Speaker 1: because you're getting a Priceline Pharmacy voucher for that. And
Speaker 1: thanks Scott, good on your mate. Hello Vicky, let's finish
Speaker 1: with you. What is your sweeping statement?
Speaker 6: Hi, Christian Jack. My sweeping statement is aimed at Jack Charles.
Speaker 6: I think that anybody that prefixes the word phone with I,
Speaker 6: as in iPhone is a pretentious idiot.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, does he only ever say iPhone?
Speaker 2: And did I say that?
Speaker 6: You said it earlier when you were talking about Chris's
Speaker 6: bird and first Sunday you said, oh, you just need
Speaker 6: to get out your iPhone and have a look at
Speaker 6: the date. Well, why don't you just say get out
Speaker 6: your phone or look in the calendar? You say all
Speaker 6: the time, Jackie, you maybe don't notice.
Speaker 2: I I don't know this. But also because I'm not
Speaker 2: a monster that has an Android, I have an iPhone,
Speaker 2: I say an iPhone.
Speaker 1: We're gonna send you a Priceline pharmacy voucher and a
Speaker 1: little sweet cash check from Samsung. Who appreciate your comments.
Speaker 1: I feel over the last four But no, no, no, there
Speaker 1: was love ends the Chrissy Swan Show. It's the Chrissy
Speaker 1: Swan Show. Let's talk Christmas, shall we please? Because it
Speaker 1: is November and every time at about this time of
Speaker 1: the year, it surprises me how quick Christmas is coming around.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 1: And there's been two signs from the universe today that
Speaker 1: I've got to pull my finger out and ask some questions.
Speaker 2: Okay, the first.
Speaker 1: Is read it. Am I overreacting with this girl that
Speaker 1: I met on Bumble because she thinks it's weird that
Speaker 1: I spend Christmas with my parents. The text message folly
Speaker 1: between these two strangers that have met on a dating app.
Speaker 1: I mean, the good thing about it is you see
Speaker 1: the red flags early.
Speaker 2: So wait, who wants to spend Christmas with their family?
Speaker 1: There's a guy and a girl. The guy responds to
Speaker 1: a question what are you doing this Christmas? And he says,
Speaker 1: I'm spending it with my family. That's what I do.
Speaker 1: The girl loses her mind.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: They don't know each other properly, by the way, I
Speaker 1: don't think they've even met. They at the initial stages
Speaker 1: of getting to know each other.
Speaker 2: If I was a chick, I would think that's the
Speaker 2: biggest green flag that a guy has a relationship with
Speaker 2: his parents and family where he likes to spend it
Speaker 2: with them.
Speaker 1: I agree. And he's saying things like I love spending
Speaker 1: with my Christmas with my family. Is that a problem?
Speaker 1: She goes, that's nice for you. What do you need
Speaker 1: from me? Then? I mean, I'm a family first sort
Speaker 1: of person and Christmas Day is kind of sacrisanct.
Speaker 2: I agree. Do you remember last year I was going
Speaker 2: to have my first like I was really calling it
Speaker 2: an awphuan Christmas. My sister was living in London, my
Speaker 2: parents were going away to Queensland, and I was going
Speaker 2: to have my first Christmas.
Speaker 1: Alone and that feels sad.
Speaker 2: It felt weird and sad, and I felt like it
Speaker 2: would be wrong not seeing my parents.
Speaker 1: Are you not ready to grow up yet? No, baby Jack.
Speaker 2: I flew up in surprise them and had Christmas Day
Speaker 2: with them because I'm like, this just feels wrong.
Speaker 1: And they were in Queensland. They so did you have
Speaker 1: prawns and all that?
Speaker 2: Literally that's all we had for lunch, just bulk prawns
Speaker 2: and seafood.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, the good news is that you are
Speaker 1: not overreacting. Strange guy off Reddit and you need to
Speaker 1: stick to your guns.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's one day you can do that. Also, like
Speaker 2: these days, don't people do like brunch with their family
Speaker 2: then go and see their girlfriends or boyfriends or vice versa, Like.
Speaker 1: Come on, Yeah, This text folly ends with the girls
Speaker 1: saying go f yourself able, you are so shitty and dumb.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, marry Christmas. But this inspired me to
Speaker 1: send the text message to my sister. Yeah, because you
Speaker 1: won't know this, it'll come later on in your life,
Speaker 1: when your sister gets married and whatever. When your siblings
Speaker 1: get married, it's like you've got one year off, one
Speaker 1: year on with their family. You're with their It's just confusing.
Speaker 1: So you've got to find out whose year it is.
Speaker 1: So I asked that question this morning. Turns out it's
Speaker 1: her year. I get to spend Christmas with her. Our
Speaker 1: mum is going to be in Bali with my other sister,
Speaker 1: so she's out of the equation. My sister and I
Speaker 1: sorted Christmas in about four texts.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is good, yes.
Speaker 1: Menu, I said, Look as long as there's a salmon
Speaker 1: bleanie involved, I don't care if it's sausages in bread
Speaker 1: on the barbecue. Very low key, she said, I'd be
Speaker 1: very happy with that. We took our entire Christmas day
Speaker 1: from this to this. Low key Christmas for the wind,
Speaker 1: make you call people ask whose Christmas it is. The
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan Show, we've got some sad news in clickbait
Speaker 1: about everybody's favorite dancer.
Speaker 2: Chrissy's click bait Britney spears, ha ha.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, she's still dancing. She's got the
Speaker 1: knives out in that giant travitine foyer which never involves
Speaker 1: another human being ever. I want to know. I've got
Speaker 1: some questions about Britney Spears's social media. Does sheare one
Speaker 1: of those kmart ring lights.
Speaker 2: Out everyonelutely and a tripod? She must have a tripod?
Speaker 1: She must because there's never another human being there.
Speaker 2: I think once I clocked like a gardener. I remember
Speaker 2: seeing a shadow behind her.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, really, Well, of course we're not speaking about
Speaker 1: our second favorite dancer, Britney Spears, our favorite dancer Ray Gun.
Speaker 1: Do we have some sad, sort of funereal.
Speaker 2: Music here, Yeah, I can find something, find.
Speaker 1: Something, because it's a really sad day for those that
Speaker 1: want to express their joy in life through the power
Speaker 1: of dance. Rachel Gunn, also known as Ray Gun, who
Speaker 1: set the world on fire at the Paris Olympics with
Speaker 1: her extraordinary.
Speaker 2: Performance one word to describe it, and.
Speaker 1: Take what you will from the word extraordinary. She is
Speaker 1: hanging up her dancing shoes for yes. Actually, I just
Speaker 1: want to clarify she's hanging up her public dancing shoes forever.
Speaker 1: But she has vowed that she would continue to dance,
Speaker 1: but only for her own enjoyment and frankly, that's selfish.
Speaker 2: No, I think it's for the best.
Speaker 1: No, I don't, because I'm gonna have to like peek
Speaker 1: through her window to get some joy. I want to
Speaker 1: see her dance. Don't keep that, don't hide your light
Speaker 1: under a.
Speaker 2: Bushel, ray Gun, I think. But if you want to
Speaker 2: see some good dancing, I can send you some people.
Speaker 2: I can show you some break dances I don't have.
Speaker 2: Ray Gun is one of them.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see good dancing, that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: I want to see her particular delusional, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like, it's really rare to see somebody that funny.
Speaker 2: The thing is, she's a one trick pony. If you
Speaker 2: watched that Olympics performance, so all you'll need to do,
Speaker 2: Swani is jump on YouTube and watch that performance on loop.
Speaker 2: It's a bit of is what it is?
Speaker 1: Okay? Yeah, No, I officially missed it. I officially missed it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to send myself a text message to make
Speaker 1: sure that I recheck it. Now. There was a scandal
Speaker 1: earlier on this week. I believe it was. It's all
Speaker 1: blurring into one, but Travis Kelsey's brother Jason beat up
Speaker 1: somebody who.
Speaker 2: He didn't, but he's swatted. People trolled us on Monday
Speaker 2: for saying that he beats he punched someone. He didn't.
Speaker 2: He swatted a phone.
Speaker 1: He showed, but he engaged in an act of violence.
Speaker 1: There was aggression there, There was aggression, and he used
Speaker 1: a homophobic slur which he threw back at this idiot
Speaker 1: that was attacking him. Anyway, they've got a podcast, the
Speaker 1: two brothers, and they have addressed this situation. First, we're
Speaker 1: going to hear from Jason the swatter.
Speaker 7: Me reacting gave him the time of day, and it
Speaker 7: also gave this situation notoriety. The thing that I regret
Speaker 7: the most is saying that word. To be honest and
Speaker 7: the word he used, it's just ridiculous and it takes
Speaker 7: it to another level. It's just off the wall and
Speaker 7: over the line. In the heat of the moment, I
Speaker 7: thought in my head, Hey, what can I say back
Speaker 7: to him. I'm gonna throw that right back in his
Speaker 7: face because Kim okay.
Speaker 1: Good statement. What I take from that is that he
Speaker 1: will defend his family forever and will not apologize for that.
Speaker 1: But he was upset that that awful word came out
Speaker 1: of his mouth, and I understand that appreciated. Now it's
Speaker 1: Travis's turned to weigh in.
Speaker 8: You had some clown come up to you and talk
Speaker 8: about your family, and you reacted in a way that
Speaker 8: was defending your family, and I think you owning it
Speaker 8: and you speaking about it shows how sincere you are
Speaker 8: to a lot of people in this world. You don't
Speaker 8: choose hate, you know, that's just not who you are.
Speaker 1: I just figure though, like these are Southern boys. Of
Speaker 1: course they are going to defend their family.
Speaker 2: I agree. I get that he sort of snapped in
Speaker 2: the heat of the moment. I feel like one of
Speaker 2: them maybe could have the rest of the word they
Speaker 2: use and maybe like given a shout out to the
Speaker 2: to the gays.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, probably that would have made it
Speaker 1: even sweeter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that would have looked good for Taylor.
Speaker 1: I feel like we can close the door on that
Speaker 1: and that is done. But you know, don't swat people
Speaker 1: or take it. Never choose violence.
Speaker 9: Never.
Speaker 1: This is the Chrissy Swan Show, breaking news children under
Speaker 1: sixteen are going to be banned from using social media.
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts, Swannie, Well, I.
Speaker 1: Don't need it in my house, but that doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that it is not essential, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And I think Albo said that a great line, which was, no,
Speaker 1: one's going to get in trouble if you know they
Speaker 1: do have it.
Speaker 2: No, the social media companies would be in trouble. That's trouble.
Speaker 1: But it is very the sentence sorry, mate, it's against
Speaker 1: the law is very powerful around the dinner table.
Speaker 2: That'd be pretty cool as a mum or dad to say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because because the thing is, you know, as kids
Speaker 1: get older in those teen years or in the tween years,
Speaker 1: it's it's very normal to go yes. So what what
Speaker 1: do you think. I don't care that says you. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So it's actually fabulous to say it's against the law.
Speaker 2: Cal albow. If you've got an issue with it, I've
Speaker 2: used it.
Speaker 1: I've used that before. It's against the law. When they
Speaker 1: don't want to go to school. I'm like, I'd be
Speaker 1: all for it, don't. I don't care if you go
Speaker 1: to school or not. But it is actually against the
Speaker 1: law for you not to go.
Speaker 2: And what do they say, shut up, mam, I'll go
Speaker 2: to jail.
Speaker 1: No, it's the end of the discussion. So please, parents,
Speaker 1: enjoy that line if you haven't already started it?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Hey, next increases quizzy. We have a Mitsubishi Electric
Speaker 2: Air purifier. The Mitsubishi Electric Air purifier helps improve indoor
Speaker 2: air quality and reduce exposure to asthma and allergy triggers
Speaker 2: including dust, pollen, pet allergens, and some gas.
Speaker 1: Since the Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show, you know,
Speaker 1: I like to keep you updated on the pink songs
Speaker 1: that I like. I like that one too, you like
Speaker 1: this one?
Speaker 2: Yes, that's when I don't like show. Let's give away
Speaker 2: from video is awful as well.
Speaker 1: Chrissy's Quizzy. You say you don't like it, but you
Speaker 1: knew every word and you were singing along with it.
Speaker 1: Have your video evidence of it.
Speaker 2: It's an ear word, but I don't. I wouldn't pick
Speaker 2: that song to listen to. It's just not It's just
Speaker 2: a bit that Nate dude get like. We don't need
Speaker 2: a song of those two together.
Speaker 1: Oh you are harsh? Hello Amy, how are you? I'm
Speaker 1: very very well. You've just knocked off work.
Speaker 2: Well done, Yes, I have finished.
Speaker 1: Do you what do you use for your chai lates?
Speaker 1: To use the powder or like you know, the tea bags,
Speaker 1: we use the tea bag.
Speaker 2: What do you mean, Oh, she's a brewster. So seeing
Speaker 2: that randomly, probably should I probably should have been a
Speaker 2: context would have helped as a barrista. And that's why
Speaker 2: we went with that teacher.
Speaker 1: What is your I love barristas they do God's work.
Speaker 1: What is your least favorite order that comes out of
Speaker 1: the mouth of your customers?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 9: We get so many green teas and I'm just like boring.
Speaker 1: What put a bag in a hot water that's beneath you.
Speaker 2: Also make that at home?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Okay, let's move on to Luke.
Speaker 2: Hello, Luke Hello, how are you?
Speaker 1: You're waiting for a tire puncture to get repaired? And
Speaker 1: how smart do you feel?
Speaker 2: Mate?
Speaker 1: I feel really smart. I just love it. I just
Speaker 1: love it. When you get a flat tyrant, it's the
Speaker 1: end of the world. And then you take it to
Speaker 1: the shop and they go, that's okay, it's just a puncture.
Speaker 1: I can fix Saturday to replace the whole tire. That's
Speaker 1: a good feeling. Yeah, it's a good feeling. Let's see
Speaker 1: if we can give one of you an even better feeling,
Speaker 1: because not only is there a bum bag up for grabster,
Speaker 1: there's also a Mitsubishi Electric Air Purify gosh. I wish
Speaker 1: we could give one to everybody.
Speaker 2: It helps improve indoor air quality and reduce exposure to
Speaker 2: asthma and allergy triggers including dust, pollen, pet allergens, and
Speaker 2: some gases. Now, after my day off yesterday, I really
Speaker 2: could have used with one of these, because, let me
Speaker 2: tell you, I'm eighty percent gastro stop right now.
Speaker 1: Really, anyway, your names are your buzzes, Amy and Luke.
Speaker 1: It's the best of five, meaning the first one of
Speaker 1: is to get three answers correct wins this amazing Electric
Speaker 1: air Purify. Question number one, what is the name of
Speaker 1: Travis Kelsey's brother, Amy? Yes, Amy, Jason. Correct. Every time
Speaker 1: I say your name, a very rude title from the
Speaker 1: latest Taylor Swift album comes into.
Speaker 3: My Oh yes, oh I.
Speaker 1: Know, I'm so sorry. Question number two red leaf, iceberg,
Speaker 1: and butterhead. Yes, says here is they are types of letters.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that butterhead was one from.
Speaker 2: One point to Amy, one point to Luke. Question number three, Lord.
Speaker 1: From New Zealand is celebrating her twenty eighth birthday today.
Speaker 1: Can you name any one of her songs? Amy? Yes, Amy,
Speaker 1: please please say my favorite one so that we get
Speaker 1: to play a bit. Yes, enjoy this for us we
Speaker 1: create a different kind of bus. Let me be your broom.
Speaker 1: Tom's up and dancing. You can go the Quinton be
Speaker 1: all right, let's move on.
Speaker 2: Two points to Amy one to Luke. Question four is
Speaker 2: for the win. Amy.
Speaker 1: If you are a race goer, if you have not
Speaker 1: said en up to the cuff, you would know that
Speaker 1: today is Oaks Day, commonly known as Luke. Yes, Luke,
Speaker 1: it's lady. It is Lady's day.
Speaker 2: Helloallola. Question number five it is even Stephen. This is
Speaker 2: for the win for either of you.
Speaker 1: With Steria Lane is the name of a fictional street
Speaker 1: at the center.
Speaker 6: Yes, Amy, did you say with Steria Lane?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 5: Oh that's from what I know.
Speaker 1: That Yeah, which TV show is? Amy? You have won
Speaker 1: the Mitsubishi Electric air purifier and the bum bag, and
Speaker 1: Luke you have won an early mark leave leave work now. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's just that's from me actually, Chrissy, Yes, my darling,
Speaker 1: can I have your neutrable?
Speaker 3: What's it called?
Speaker 1: The christ One show? I have a situation that I
Speaker 1: need to flag with you. It's popped up on Reddit
Speaker 1: which is one of my favorite It's my new favorite
Speaker 1: time waster.
Speaker 2: You've really embraced it.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've sort of come to the end
Speaker 1: of Instagram.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've finished it.
Speaker 1: Yes, I've clocked that. And Reddit is it's sort of
Speaker 1: voyeuristic because A it gives you insight into what's going
Speaker 1: on in other people's lives, and b it asks for
Speaker 1: your opinion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great. And they're generally crazy Americans.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, I know, which are rare a breed all
Speaker 1: of their own.
Speaker 2: Correct.
Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to you about breaking furniture when
Speaker 1: you live in a bigger body thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 1: If it's happened to you, I know that there is
Speaker 1: nothing more humiliating. You just want the ground to open
Speaker 1: up and swallow you hole. And I'm going to tell
Speaker 1: you about the situations that I have had with me
Speaker 1: and my ass and broken furniture. Am I person says
Speaker 1: this question on Reddit for demanding that my friend pays
Speaker 1: for the chair she broke. I'm going to give you
Speaker 1: a little synopsis of this. I'm not going to read
Speaker 1: it word for word. This girl, I'm sure means well,
Speaker 1: she has a friend who lives in a bigger body.
Speaker 1: She bought a brand new this this the reddit contributor
Speaker 1: bought a brand new dining setting. It obviously was not
Speaker 1: strong enough for her friend, and which most things aren't,
Speaker 1: by the way, and her friend broke the chair. Okay,
Speaker 1: so a the chair breaker would be so deeply humiliated
Speaker 1: that she would never want to see anybody that saw
Speaker 1: that ever. Ever, again, let's keep that in mind. Let's
Speaker 1: park that this girl, this friend says. I really love
Speaker 1: my friend, We're really close, but I want her to
Speaker 1: pay for the broken chair. She says. The chair creaked
Speaker 1: and then the leg bent and broke, and my friend
Speaker 1: crashed to the floor.
Speaker 2: Sorry. Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's
Speaker 2: just the way you were describing it. I didn't mean
Speaker 2: to do that. I forgot for on air. Keep going,
Speaker 2: keep keep reading.
Speaker 1: Or girl crashed to the floor with the broken chair.
Speaker 1: She hurt her elbow, and everyone was all over her
Speaker 1: trying to make her feel good, including me, her friend.
Speaker 1: She had to have an ice pack. Such was the injury.
Speaker 2: You're just really good at storytelling, so it's painted a
Speaker 2: visual like when you said she didn't she hurt her elbow.
Speaker 2: I'm seeing like an elbow stuck in floorboard now, like
Speaker 2: as if she's pierced the floor. That's because you're so
Speaker 2: good at telling stories.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is a sweet try and get out of child.
Speaker 1: So this girl goes on to say, I'm only sixty
Speaker 1: kilos and like, I love her, But why would I
Speaker 1: have to buy only chairs.
Speaker 2: That Oh so the friends kim kardashit.
Speaker 1: But why would I have to buy chairs that can
Speaker 1: support thrice my own way? Uh, that's not how it works, savage.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be asking her for two hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty Oh it's euros. She's English. Ah, damn, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be asking her for two hundred and fifty euros
Speaker 1: for the damaged chair, and it can't be replaced. Okay.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing. Do not ever speak of this
Speaker 1: moment that you witnessed ever again. If you really love
Speaker 1: your friend, really love her, pretend it never happened. Never
Speaker 1: speak of it again. Replace the chair, crowdfund, start up,
Speaker 1: start up and go fund me. Suddenly live with a
Speaker 1: three piece set, not a four piece. Under no circumstances
Speaker 1: must you ask your beloved friend to replace this chair?
Speaker 1: All right? Never ever, I.
Speaker 2: Think that goes definitely this story, but even obviously here
Speaker 2: we're talking about when you've lived, when you live in
Speaker 2: a bigger body and this happens, I think just generally, Swanny,
Speaker 2: if I invite you over to my home and you
Speaker 2: break I agree of ours.
Speaker 1: I knocked something.
Speaker 2: This happened to me three weeks ago with my best
Speaker 2: friend Christine Okad. I knocked a really expensive I'm talking expensive.
Speaker 2: I knocked it how much justercause she's rich, just five
Speaker 2: hundred dollars right, And I was like, well, I was
Speaker 2: a bit sassy. I was like, well, you put it
Speaker 2: in a silly position. It shouldn't be there. We're eating
Speaker 2: sushi and I'm trying to lean over here.
Speaker 1: You're panicking because you know that's your minimum repayment per
Speaker 1: month on your credit.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: She was very like humble about and said, you don't
Speaker 2: need to pay for that. It's happened in my apartment
Speaker 2: where someone's spilter drink and damage something. Yes, I'm like,
Speaker 2: you don't need to pay for that because I'm hosting
Speaker 2: you in my home. It's on me.
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. Yeah, there is there is nothing.
Speaker 1: You could burn my house down to the ground.
Speaker 2: You'll do that because you're a part of Maine.
Speaker 1: Believing just rubble, and I would never ever ask you
Speaker 1: to replace it. I have replaced things that have been
Speaker 1: broken by people that live in bigger bodies, that live
Speaker 1: in smaller bodies, but particularly those people that break things
Speaker 1: as I have broken. I broke a camp bed on
Speaker 1: national television in Big Brother because I weighed more than
Speaker 1: the capacity that it would hold. And it is the
Speaker 1: most humiliating moment of your life. You never feel less
Speaker 1: than the human when that happens. And I've broken couches, Mike,
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: What were you doing on the couch when you broke it?
Speaker 1: Oh? Just like I just yeah right now, I just
Speaker 1: jumped on it.
Speaker 2: When have you broken furnit? Jackson?
Speaker 1: I've told you that in compact.
Speaker 2: I know. That's why I expose you. And if you
Speaker 2: live in a bigger body, we want to hear from
Speaker 2: you as well. Thirty twenty four teen, talk to.
Speaker 1: Us about the chairs that have broken, Chrissy Swanshow is
Speaker 1: it ever okay for some to ask someone to pay
Speaker 1: for something that they broke in their house because they
Speaker 1: were too big, they're over capacity? Equally, have you ever
Speaker 1: broken something with your ginormous juicy bum like I have. Leah, Hello, Hi,
Speaker 1: how are you? What got broke at your place?
Speaker 3: So I had a similar incident where my friend actually
Speaker 3: sat down on a timber patio piece of furniture and
Speaker 3: she is enjoying life as we'd like to call it,
Speaker 3: and she sat down and it broke. But my initial
Speaker 3: reaction was just to lie and say, oh my god,
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I thought we fixed that. I just
Speaker 3: cannot comprehend how you could ask someone to pay for
Speaker 3: something when they are mortified. You can tell on their
Speaker 3: face they are so embarrassed, exactly.
Speaker 1: It's the worst moment of her life. She has never
Speaker 1: felt less than. And then her friend, who she's supposed
Speaker 1: to love and be loved in return, is saying this
Speaker 1: air is more important than you.
Speaker 3: Yes, And it's such a materialistic thing and everything is
Speaker 3: cheap anyway these days, Like, I just cannot comprehend how
Speaker 3: you could ask for friends to do it. It's the
Speaker 3: meanest thing in the world.
Speaker 1: It is the mainest thing in the world.
Speaker 2: Priceline pharmacy voucher for you, Leah. Let's go to Matthew.
Speaker 1: Hello, Matthew, what did you bright?
Speaker 8: It was Christmas Day.
Speaker 2: It was a trampoline, but it was the neighbor at
Speaker 2: the back of us. Kim, I jumped over on Christmas station.
Speaker 10: Yeah, come on, jump on the trampoline first, I said, Okay,
Speaker 10: did a few jumps straight through or broken?
Speaker 7: You never got to use it, So, Kim, if you're
Speaker 7: out there, sorry.
Speaker 1: Like straight through the campas of it.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I've broken two more as well, especially one
Speaker 2: of those ones that they're using a gym. Jumped straight
Speaker 2: through that one.
Speaker 1: I mean, they're not designed for human bodies.
Speaker 2: No, and those barriers they hurd around and that's nothing.
Speaker 1: Oh, forget about it.
Speaker 2: I see also.
Speaker 1: I see also the white capacity in lifts. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not good at maths, but I look at it
Speaker 1: and I go, okay, so this lift can hold eleven
Speaker 1: people or five hundred killers. I'm like, what person weighs
Speaker 1: fifty kilos?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: What you carry that around in my backpack?
Speaker 2: Most lifts are eleven hundred kilos surely.
Speaker 1: Yes, or like twenty people. It is off. It's off.
Speaker 2: What's what I hate in the lift? In those scenarios
Speaker 2: when it starts beeping and you look at you're looking around,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not getting out mate, got places to.
Speaker 1: Cod, I know, and it brings back very bad memories
Speaker 1: of public weigh ins when I was in grade five
Speaker 1: in front of women called faith all right, pharmacy voucher
Speaker 1: for you. Luckily they don't sell trampolines there. Hello, Amanda,
Speaker 1: Hey guys, how are you going? What'd you break? Would
Speaker 1: you break?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 6: What wasn't me?
Speaker 9: I had a friend come over for some alone time
Speaker 9: and the bed ended up breaking. And the sad part
Speaker 9: was it was a brand new bed, twelve hundred dollars
Speaker 9: half for half of the money. No, sorry, not my problem.
Speaker 1: Listen. I'm sorry to tell you this, Manda, but it
Speaker 1: takes two to tango, and it is not. If there's
Speaker 1: two of you on the bed and the little one
Speaker 1: says roll over, you are equally complicit in the breaking
Speaker 1: of that mattress of the base. Correct.
Speaker 9: You're probably right, Christy, probably right?
Speaker 1: Right? Was it worth it, Amanda? Would you go back
Speaker 1: and do it all again? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what we like to hear. See.
Speaker 1: Life is more important than a bed, bas.
Speaker 2: I would say, who was Actually I'm not going to
Speaker 2: say that, Jacinta. Let's finish with you.
Speaker 1: Don't say that I'll just sit up, Hi, Chrissy, Hi Jack,
Speaker 1: talk to me about what you have broken and where
Speaker 1: and who saw it and thank God that you can
Speaker 1: talk about it.
Speaker 11: Yeah, I can only just talk about it, Christy Eve
Speaker 11: than it was about twenty years ago. It was in
Speaker 11: rays outdoors and I sat on one of those camping tables,
Speaker 11: you know the ones that's like a square table.
Speaker 6: It's got the four little squared.
Speaker 2: Oh god, the chairs are like attached to the table.
Speaker 11: Yeah, yes, with the metal they're quite climsy. And on
Speaker 11: that and the whole table collapsed to the ground and
Speaker 11: oh my family just scattered and left me. And I
Speaker 11: was laughing so much with embarrassment.
Speaker 1: It up because you do what were you thinking? You
Speaker 1: turned it into a sea saw with no one on
Speaker 1: the other end. The Chrissy Swan Show. Let's do this,
Speaker 1: Chrissies click clearly out of here for a Thursday. I
Speaker 1: hope you're feeling okay after the election result. Everyone's a
Speaker 1: bit flat. I've got lots of I mean, I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm one of these people that like buries my head
Speaker 1: in the sand and just doesn't deal with anything. So
Speaker 1: I don't really know what it means.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a lot of.
Speaker 1: Text messages from friends feeling very sad and depressed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I've noticed that on Instagram as well a
Speaker 2: lot of people in their stories. I'm like, it's something
Speaker 2: wrong with me that I am not caring.
Speaker 1: You know, we are dead insight, which is that you know,
Speaker 1: generally is not a great thing, but on big emotional
Speaker 1: days like today, I think it works for us.
Speaker 2: It does.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about Ariana Grande. By the way, are you
Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing the new Wicked film?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 9: I am.
Speaker 1: Are you going to see it at the same time?
Speaker 1: I am?
Speaker 2: I am. I'm going to those beautiful industry premiere nights.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to go. You do realize that you
Speaker 1: have to wear pink and green and that is not
Speaker 1: a color combination. I knew that you didn't read that
Speaker 1: part since why because they're the colors of wickeds and
Speaker 1: you must do it.
Speaker 2: You can over the edge today. I've got a green
Speaker 2: Carqui suit that.
Speaker 1: I will that's not the right green?
Speaker 2: Well does it specify what color green?
Speaker 6: You know?
Speaker 1: But you know, the Wicked green?
Speaker 2: Who do they want us to give it a good
Speaker 2: review or not?
Speaker 1: If you don't turn up like Jim Carrey from the mask.
Speaker 1: Then you are official disowned. No, I'm very excited, but
Speaker 1: I don't have anything to wear either. Let's talk about
Speaker 1: it around a grande she I mean, obviously you know,
Speaker 1: as previously mentioned, I have not seen the film, but
Speaker 1: she's going to be amazing. I've seen enough of the trailer.
Speaker 1: She has announced a surprising change of Korea, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to play you a grab of her statement, and
Speaker 1: then I want to talk to you about everything. Jack.
Speaker 10: I'm going to say something so scary it's gonna scare
Speaker 10: my fans and everyone. I'm always gonna make music, I
Speaker 10: pinky promise, but I don't think doing it at the
Speaker 10: rate that I've been doing it for the past ten
Speaker 10: years is where I see the next ten years. I
Speaker 10: think I love acting, I love musical theater. I think
Speaker 10: finding roles to use these parts of myself and some
Speaker 10: songs like it really does in a different way than songwriting.
Speaker 1: So there you go. I'm sad because I love her
Speaker 1: pop music.
Speaker 2: So do I Swanny. That does make me sad. Like
Speaker 2: her last album positions, I love nearly every song.
Speaker 1: Did say though that I mean that the caveat there
Speaker 1: is that she's not going to record. At the rate
Speaker 1: that she has been.
Speaker 2: Her label will almost making her push out an album
Speaker 2: every two years, so maybe it'll just be every three
Speaker 2: or four.
Speaker 1: So when it's not a complete loss, I can cop
Speaker 1: that later on in this podcast that she did, it's
Speaker 1: called Las Culturistasy.
Speaker 2: I love saying strong name and with that guy from
Speaker 2: SNL who we love, Magic Bowen Yang He she.
Speaker 1: Did an impersonation of Hermione Granger. Enjoy it. And then
Speaker 1: I'm going to comment, you do your harmonium pression.
Speaker 9: Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 2: Wrongs spleech. Wrong's speech.
Speaker 1: Is that no, you can't. So here's the thing. She
Speaker 1: is so talented. She's an incredible mimic. She's an incredible singer,
Speaker 1: she's an incredible dancer. She's really funny, she's a comedian.
Speaker 1: She can act beautifully. Remember how impressed we were with
Speaker 1: her on Saturday Night Life. It was extraordinary.
Speaker 2: The media abilities were fantastic.
Speaker 1: I can see how someone with her enormous breadth of
Speaker 1: talent looks at pop music and goes, I've got more
Speaker 1: to give. Yeah, I've got more to give, and I
Speaker 1: want to give it.
Speaker 2: And I've also given so much to pop music already,
Speaker 2: Let's try something new man that.
Speaker 1: Is correct, So go well, Ariana Grande, Let's start check
Speaker 1: in with Barry Kagan and our favorite girl, Sabrina Carpenter.
Speaker 1: They are still going out and here is proof.
Speaker 2: Are you in a relationship with Sabrina carr I you
Speaker 2: do this. You don't have to, and that's why I
Speaker 2: ask permission for listen.
Speaker 1: I'm incredibly blessed such a strong, independent lady who's massively
Speaker 1: talented and very special. Lua, you got me.
Speaker 10: You're not a vampire.
Speaker 1: Also, what is that video clip where they are all
Speaker 1: over each other like nsfw is it tastes?
Speaker 2: Is it taste? Or please? Please please please, please please please.
Speaker 1: You got to take one look at that and you
Speaker 1: know that they're in a relationship. For God's sake, you
Speaker 1: don't act that horny.
Speaker 2: That was like six months ago. Maybe they've broken up.
Speaker 2: You'll never leave him? Have you seen saltburn? Come on?
Speaker 2: Regulates Tim and joeler up next. Thank you for filling
Speaker 2: in for me yesterday. Black is have a beautiful nightswanting.
Speaker 1: Love your seat tomorrow. The Chrissy Swan Show is a
Speaker 1: Nova podcast for more great comedy shows like this Head
Speaker 1: to novapodcast dot com. Do you