1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,280 Speaker 1: Oh, hello and happy a year. Welcome to Healthy Ish. 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,280 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us on our first episode of twenty 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: twenty five. Of course, this is your podcast from Body 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 1: and Soul. I I'm your host for listening, Halee. Now, 5 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 1: if you just returned from summer holidays, or perhaps you're 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: still in the throes of it, this episode is going 7 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: to inspire you to work less and play more. In 8 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, author and business coach Emma Lovell joins 9 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: us to discuss how to balance traveling the world with 10 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: work and living a life you love aka the Art 11 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: of Pleasure. Emma, Welcome to Healthy Happy new Year. 12 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 2: Happy near tear too exciting. 13 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: Oh, I can't believe it's a twenty twenty five. Do 14 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: you have a healthy resolution? 15 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 3: I don't exactly believe in resolutions, but I do set 16 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 3: an intention, and I choose a word for the year, 17 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 3: and my word is calm. 18 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: I think we all need that word. The last few. 19 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 3: Years haven't been calm, so it's a been a whirlwind 20 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,119 Speaker 3: would probably be. 21 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: The retrospective word. 22 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: With Toddler, I do with Toddler. 23 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 2: I did release a book. 24 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 3: There was a few things going on in twenty twenty four, 25 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 3: so I just I want if I have calm and 26 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 3: go into everything with calm as the intention, So having 27 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 3: a calm mindset, then you know, and the question you 28 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 3: can ask yourself will will I be calm? Or can 29 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 3: I be calm doing this? And then that kind of 30 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 3: will dictate. So calm. 31 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: I like that. I feel like that's a word so 32 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: many of us need. 33 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, the word that people tend to choose is balance, 34 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 3: and I just think balance is a fallacy and I 35 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 3: don't It's just it's it's you kind of going to 36 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 3: strive for this unachievable goal because there's never going to 37 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 3: be balanced. So the word I tend to use is harmony, 38 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 3: because things go up and down, and so if you 39 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 3: go in with calm, that kind of gets the balance 40 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 3: that you're after, but without that pressure to be like 41 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 3: everything's fifty to fifty or even because it's just never 42 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 3: going to be. 43 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: Well, good luck, I should say, all the best, get luck. 44 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 2: Let's chat in twenty twenty six about. 45 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: This word pleasure. I come across this before I saw 46 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 1: it on the front of your book. Took us through 47 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: the concept of pleasure. 48 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 3: So pleasure typically, I mean, people don't know the word. 49 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 3: I didn't create it. I own it, but I didn't 50 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 3: come up with it. It can live it, I live it. 51 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 3: So it came up in two thousand and nine. Some 52 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 3: future forecasters made up the word it's business and leisure. 53 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,799 Speaker 3: So bleasure can get confused with pleasure, which is part 54 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 3: of it, but bleisure, but I've taken it to another level. 55 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 3: I guess for me, pleasure means combining business, travel and 56 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 3: having self care. So it's that harmony of those things 57 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 3: so that I can live a life that I love. 58 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 3: And I think it's kind of you know, you go 59 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 3: on a business trip or you go on our trip 60 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 3: and at the customs desk they go, are you here 61 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 3: for work or holiday or family? And I'm kind of 62 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 3: all of the above, And so bleasure is that fusion 63 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 3: of that for me. And it's being able to include 64 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 3: your work, include your home life, include your the things 65 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 3: that you love that whatever leisure looks like to you. 66 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 2: For me, that is travel and making it work. 67 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, because when I first read it, I was thinking, 68 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: or read the introduction of your book, I thought to myself, 69 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: but it's kind of like the digital nomad, but it's 70 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: not really how is it different from that? 71 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 3: So digital nomad and I really say that I'm not 72 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 3: a digital nomad because over the years I've always looked 73 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 3: my office is a work, my laptop and my phone. 74 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 2: That's how I work. 75 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 3: I've always been remote and flexible. But I think digital 76 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 3: nomad people think in order to do that, you need 77 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 3: to pack up your life, go and live somewhere, probably 78 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 3: Bali or on a tropical island for three months, and 79 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 3: you have to have a digital online business. But the 80 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 3: thing about pleasure is it's combining your work and leisure. 81 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 3: So work for you could be anything. My husband drives boats, say, like, 82 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 3: he could drive a boat anywhere people go and ski 83 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 3: go and work in ski fields, you know, or fruit 84 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 3: picking or house and pet sitting. 85 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 2: You know. Work can look like anything. 86 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 3: And so I don't want people to think that, oh, well, 87 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 3: I don't have an online business, I can't do pleasure, 88 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,679 Speaker 3: or because I'm not working and traveling at the same time, 89 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 3: I'm not doing pleasure. There's a confusion between pleasure trip 90 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 3: and pleasure life. And one of my colleagues made this, like, 91 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,359 Speaker 3: had this profound aha moment because she kept trying to 92 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 3: think about how she could work and travel at the 93 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 3: same time, not how she could look at this as 94 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 3: like the rest of her life, how she could harmonize 95 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 3: how she worked and brought in travel and leisure and 96 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 3: things she found fun. 97 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: So how do you make it work? How do you 98 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: bring your business? Perhaps tell us a bit about what 99 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: you actually do traveling the world and having a gorgeous family. 100 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, look, I guess that we should probably take 101 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 3: a back step. I've been running my business for fifteen years. 102 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 3: My business started because I broke my back in a 103 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 3: snowboarding accident. I thought I could just run a business. 104 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 3: I was in UNI, you know, just I'll just start 105 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 3: a business. 106 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: Anyone could do anything when they're in UNI. 107 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, studying PR and marketing. I'll just start mo own company. 108 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 3: But I was never gonna have time. I was already 109 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 3: kind of, I guess, racing towards burnout at twenty two, 110 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 3: and so the universe decided to stop me. And it 111 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:23,160 Speaker 3: was in that rest forced rest time, lying there not 112 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,359 Speaker 3: able to do much that I was like, Oh, that 113 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 3: business thing I was thinking about I could do. So 114 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 3: I got an ABN, I told people I was running 115 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,280 Speaker 3: a business, started getting clients, and off I went. 116 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 2: I mean, I converted. 117 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 3: I was working in an office doing some PR and 118 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,159 Speaker 3: marketing for them, so I just got them to pay 119 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 3: me via invoice, so I had a client. So originally 120 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,920 Speaker 3: I was doing PR, marketing and social media. I mean, 121 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 3: and that's done from a computer, so wherever my laptop was, 122 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 3: I was going to be so and it's something I 123 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 3: established from day one, and it's one of the top 124 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 3: tips I give is that you don't need to kind 125 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 3: of have an office or if you tell your clients 126 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 3: this is how I work, there's no kind of oh 127 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 3: my gosh, I'm in Hawaii. 128 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 2: They can't know. 129 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: You're still delivering. You're delivering what they want and doing 130 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: your work. 131 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. 132 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 3: It's only maybe for the time zones that you needed 133 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 3: to say, but it shouldn't matter because I've always yes 134 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 3: delivered my work. 135 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 2: So over the years it evolved a little bit. 136 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 3: And I ended up going to coaching, personal brand coaching, 137 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,720 Speaker 3: combining that sort of brand expertise. And then it was 138 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 3: actually in twenty twenty three that I kind of realized 139 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 3: I'd been separating this travel side of my life even 140 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 3: though I'd made an income from travel. I'm a travel 141 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 3: partner of a company in India. I write articles on travel. 142 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 3: I had made money from travel, but I still had 143 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 3: this kind of belief you can't make money from travel, 144 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 3: and then that the business was separate, even though I 145 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 3: was running my business and traveling. And it was somebody 146 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,640 Speaker 3: asking me that question, looks seriously, how do you do it? 147 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 3: You have a kid, you run a business, how do 148 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 3: you do it? And I said, well, it's a choice, 149 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 3: and I choose to do it, and I choose to 150 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 3: make it work. Because if I'm not having fund in 151 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 3: my business, if I'm not traveling, which is like one 152 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 3: of my highest priority I just love it and what 153 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,559 Speaker 3: it gives to me, then it's not worth it. And 154 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 3: so it's a choice. And then I kind of went, oh, 155 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 3: to people, not is this a thing? People don't know 156 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 3: how to do this? And I realized I'd been doing 157 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 3: it all along. I've been doing it for my entire 158 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 3: business journey. So then the pleasure term was said to me. 159 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 3: And typically pleasure was like going to a conference and 160 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 3: staying on, like going from flying into Melbourne for a 161 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 3: meeting and then staying on for a few days. But 162 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 3: I just have taken it, yeah that way step further. 163 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: How do you make it work? Like perhaps getting a 164 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: bit more granular, like, how where's your house? How is 165 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: you Charlie? You're not having a child in school yet, 166 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: you know, how how do you perhaps how do you 167 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:46,120 Speaker 1: make it work before your son versus after sun? 168 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, before I could kind of just pack up and go. 169 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 3: I mean even since I've been with my partner now 170 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 3: my husband for ten years, so even. 171 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: Well, yes, yeah, you know your permanent job. 172 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he works at SeaWorld, so the sharks can't 173 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 3: so't go with us, they have to stay there. 174 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: Way to have a dad work like amazing to have 175 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: a dad working at SeaWorld. Yeah, he's very cool. 176 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 2: I think that's normal. 177 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 3: And when I, like six year old me is like, oh, 178 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 3: I'm married the dream guy, living the dream. But yeah, 179 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 3: so his job is very fixed, but we do get 180 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 3: flexibility in terms of he can take longer periods off. 181 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,040 Speaker 3: So that's how we made it work. So I've had 182 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 3: to learn how to make it work with him. A 183 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 3: lot of it's communications, So when we would travel together, 184 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 3: it's just it's communicating to my clients, it's communicating to him, Hey, 185 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 3: these are the times I'm working. So say, one of 186 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 3: the best trips we did, we went to Europe. I'd 187 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 3: wake up at six or seven in the morning, do 188 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 3: three or four hours of work. I was like, I 189 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 3: don't care what you do, but do something I'm working, 190 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 3: and I really enjoyed that focus. Then we went out 191 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 3: and explored Rome for the rest of the day, you know, 192 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 3: and if I needed to catch up on a few things, 193 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 3: check in at night, that's fine. But having that dedicated 194 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 3: block and communication that this is when I'm available when 195 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 3: I'm not And so then I think when then I 196 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 3: had my son, you just get really clear with your 197 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 3: boundaries and you get really clear with your time. And 198 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 3: I probably worked a lot more than I do now, 199 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 3: but funnily enough, my income stayed the same, my hours 200 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 3: went down, and then I've managed to increase my income 201 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 3: at the same hours because you just like, I don't 202 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 3: have the time. And I think that was with travel too. 203 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,719 Speaker 3: It's like I want to enjoy the city, so I've 204 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 3: got four hours get it done. And the same with 205 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,959 Speaker 3: you know, he's in childcare, or he's with somebody, or 206 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 3: he's napping. You got four hours work and so you know, 207 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 3: my priority now is spending time with him, is spending 208 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 3: time with my husband. If you cross that line, oh 209 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 3: mama bear comes out, and so I think it's just 210 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,079 Speaker 3: it's priority. And it's like, I don't want my travel 211 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 3: time interrupted, I don't want my family time interrupted. So 212 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 3: if I have work time, then do the work. And 213 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 3: there's occasions where, say this year creating the book, or 214 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 3: in the past year creating the book, that there were 215 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 3: things that were on deadline and I needed to make 216 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 3: it work. But again it's just communication. Hey, they need this, now, 217 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 3: I need an hour off. You go go and do 218 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 3: your thing. We do have childcare, we do have family support, 219 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 3: even though they live in a separate state. And I 220 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 3: just think, I just keep coming back to communication. It's 221 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 3: this is what I need in order to do this, 222 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 3: and I'm asking for your help, and you can't do 223 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:15,679 Speaker 3: it without the village. And whether that village is family, friends, 224 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,959 Speaker 3: or paid very happy to pay. 225 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 2: In order to live this life. 226 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 1: And I suppose also, you and your husband sound like 227 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: you're on the same page. 228 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 2: Sometimes we all Yes, I'm not gonna I'm not going 229 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 2: to sugarcate that. 230 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: But from the outlook, you know, from looking forward to 231 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: the future, to the future, yeah, you obviously have the 232 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,839 Speaker 1: same sort of values when it comes to traveling or 233 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 1: living this pleasure life. 234 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,599 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he sometimes he's a little bit more. He 235 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 3: likes it when we're doing it. I think he doesn't 236 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 3: like the thought of it, or the planning of potentially 237 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 3: the money spending. But once we're there and sometimes I 238 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 3: think I was just saying to my friend yesterday, sometimes 239 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 3: it's really hard to have a big conversation at home 240 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 3: when we're traveling. Like, we do talk about the future. 241 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 3: We do talk about it dreams, we do talk about opportunities. 242 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 3: We were in Mongolia camping and there were beautiful animals 243 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 3: out in the nomadic wilderness, and we both realize that 244 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 3: we want to have animals, and we kind of want 245 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 3: to have a bit of land. And so now our 246 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 3: future home that we want to have is going to 247 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:16,840 Speaker 3: have a bit of land. 248 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 2: You know. 249 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 3: We came to that vision because we were there and 250 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 3: we saw it together. And so sometimes if you need 251 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 3: to have a tough conversation, Yes you can't go to 252 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,920 Speaker 3: Mongolia every day, but we go out for a walk, 253 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,079 Speaker 3: or we go and have a coffee date, we try 254 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 3: a new restaurant, so that we can have those dreaming, planning, 255 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 3: future discussions. Because when you're in the house, you just 256 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 3: you get stuck in the data. 257 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: That's a really valuable point because when you're in the 258 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 1: weeds of daily life, you don't have those deep conversations. 259 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: But when you're sitting on a plane in Mongolia, yeah, 260 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: like a plane. 261 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,840 Speaker 2: As in an ol plane. 262 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 1: And plane not a plane, then you can have these 263 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 1: and be more vulnerable. There's a sense of vulnerability I 264 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: think that comes with traveling as well that doesn't surface 265 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 1: when you're in at home. 266 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 3: It's the way you're so I host retreats and I 267 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 3: feel like the locations do the heavy lifting because when 268 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 3: you're homing, you're trying to think about your goals and 269 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:08,960 Speaker 3: what you want for your. 270 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 2: Life and what you need. 271 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 3: It's really oh, they need this, and they need that, 272 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 3: and the house needs this. It's really hard to get 273 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 3: outside of it. When you go to a place like 274 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 3: India or Sri Lanka and everything is new and it's 275 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 3: like sensory overload. 276 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 2: You're stripped of all that, all. 277 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 3: Those anchors back to day to day life and you 278 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 3: are forced into kind of going, well, what actually do 279 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,599 Speaker 3: I want? And you get to remember, oh, actually, I 280 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 3: had a plan, I had a goal, I had a dream, 281 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 3: I had something that I wanted to do, and like 282 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 3: the main thing that comes from the book and my 283 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 3: mission is to live a life you love. And that's 284 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 3: a question you can ask yourself every day. Am I 285 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 3: living a life I love? And you know, the answer 286 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 3: sometimes for me is no. But then that's like a 287 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 3: compass point, right, and I just go, Okay, Well, then 288 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 3: what am I not loving? And how can I what 289 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 3: can I change about that? It doesn't mean that that's Fixeday, 290 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 3: I feel amazing. It's like, well, if I'm not happy 291 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 3: with the way my work is, how can I change 292 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 3: my business? If I'm not happy with how my health is, well, 293 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,160 Speaker 3: I need to get some more exercise, I need to 294 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 3: eat better. I'm not happy with the time I'm spending 295 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 3: with my son. Great, put the phone down, let's go 296 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 3: do something together. 297 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 2: You know. 298 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 3: It's just what does living a life I look love 299 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 3: look like? Every day I can ask myself and then 300 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 3: realign to that. 301 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: Well, I was going to ask you how do we 302 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: live a pleasure life? But perhaps you've answered the first 303 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,320 Speaker 1: part of it in that answer that you just gave 304 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: is asking yourself, am I living the life that I love? 305 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 1: And then actioning it? Because often we can ask ourselves 306 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: but actually actioning it is another hurdle often, so how 307 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: do we go from you know, having a whiteboard at 308 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: the beginning of the year, going right, this is the 309 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: life I love? How am I not living this? Where 310 00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: can I you know, what can I change? How do 311 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: you actually go from that whiteboard to living it? 312 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 3: Well? One of the you know, it's something I included 313 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 3: in the book was like that reflection piece at the 314 00:13:57,559 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 3: end of each chapter. It's like, go and ask yourself 315 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 3: these questions. Journaling is such a powerful thing because you're 316 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 3: writing it down, seeing it black and white, you go, oh, like, 317 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,880 Speaker 3: the answer comes pretty clearly. You sort of see a 318 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 3: pattern of what's not good, And that was such a 319 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 3: great point. Sometimes it's hard to say. What do you 320 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 3: want is a big question? What does living a life 321 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 3: you love look like? I mean, travel for me is 322 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 3: pretty you know, it comes to mind, but not everyone 323 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 3: has that, and so you go, Okay, what do I 324 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 3: not want? And I don't want that? Which then can 325 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 3: kind of determine what you do want. And then it's 326 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 3: got to be small steps. Like I said, it's not 327 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 3: just going to magically change overnight, but you can kind 328 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 3: of gravitate towards it. And I think the misconception to 329 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 3: people see my life and they're like, oh, it's all 330 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 3: the jet setting, and it's all the big trips. Sometimes 331 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 3: like a two nights or three nights away is so 332 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 3: much more refreshing and rejuvenating than a ten day holiday. 333 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 3: And I just don't want to subscribe to this whole work, work, work, 334 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 3: And then we get four weeks away, and then we 335 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 3: come back and you do it all again, and you 336 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,920 Speaker 3: get to yourself to that point of exhaustion to have 337 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 3: this fabulous holiday, only to get anxious towards the end 338 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,080 Speaker 3: because you've got to come back and do it all again. 339 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 3: Like I just think the land of the long weekend 340 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 3: is such a place to hang finding ways to bring 341 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 3: in self care or things that you love every day 342 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 3: and it's just remembering. And for some people the look 343 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 3: of my life is like horrendous. And so I'm not 344 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 3: saying yeah, to go get on the market. 345 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: I want to travel the world and live out of suitcases. 346 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 3: And some you know, to be honest, over this summer break, 347 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 3: I haven't wanted to either. I've wanted some time at home. 348 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 3: So then it's like, well, what does that look like? 349 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 3: It's it's being able to go to the pool whenever 350 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 3: I want. It's being able to go for a walk. 351 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 3: It's being able to sit in color with my son. 352 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 3: It's being able to try that new restaurant that we 353 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 3: haven't been to. It's being able to have a quality 354 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 3: conversation with my husband, not being ships in the night. 355 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 3: You know, it is actually this always the simpler things, 356 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 3: and when you're getting those things right and you're feeling good. 357 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 3: I think for a lot of people, especially women, choosing 358 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 3: to do those things for yourself. If you can't even 359 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 3: do that, how are you going to go and do 360 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 3: a ten day trip overseas gallivanting and working from your laptop. 361 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 3: You're not, so you've got to do Maybe taking a 362 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 3: night away for you is a huge deal. One of 363 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 3: my clients, one of the biggest things for her was 364 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 3: leaving her laptop behind. She was running business for ten years. 365 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 3: She never not had her laptop. She came on a 366 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 3: retreat and that sounds awful, but that's where she was 367 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 3: at right And for her, the win was she brought 368 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 3: the laptop, but she didn't open it for five days. 369 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: Good for her. 370 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 3: And you know, so it's a small thing. Yeah, I 371 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 3: think it's and for her. Then that then kind of 372 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,400 Speaker 3: meant she could do it more. She got that more time. 373 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 2: With their kids. She said the priority was family. 374 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,800 Speaker 3: So now she's doing more stuff with the family, she's 375 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 3: able to finish at. 376 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 2: Work at that time. 377 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 3: You know, it's kind of a stacking and a domino effect, 378 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 3: but it comes with a choice, and it comes with 379 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 3: you have to do it from a place of what 380 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 3: do I want. 381 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 2: I don't. 382 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 3: I love the time with my husband's son, but I 383 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 3: don't do it for them. You do it for me 384 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 3: so I can be there with them and then be 385 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 3: there for them. 386 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: It sounds to me that you're very clear on what 387 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: brings you joy and what and the importance of play 388 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,879 Speaker 1: and being very clear about that and then intentional in actually, 389 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 1: as I said, before actioning it and doing it. 390 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, because otherwise we get resentful, we get burnt out, 391 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 3: We can't live for others that way, and it just 392 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,120 Speaker 3: I have gone so I broke my back going too hard. 393 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 3: That was a little sign. Okay, by the way, Yeah, 394 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 3: I climbed mountain. Since I snowboarded nine months after, I 395 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 3: still love snowboarding. I'm totally fine. Yeah. 396 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 2: Great. 397 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 3: Australian healthcare is amazing, no permanent damage. But then a 398 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 3: year later, I mean essentially had a breakdown or my 399 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 3: mind burnt out because I didn't learn the lesson and 400 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 3: I went hard again. And one of the things I 401 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:51,919 Speaker 3: talk about the book is like you can kind of 402 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 3: bleasure too hard. And I've done that. I've tried to 403 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 3: combine too many things in a trip. I've work, work, worked, 404 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 3: and then earn all this money and then had weeks away. 405 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 3: I've done that, and I'm saying you don't do that, 406 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 3: you know, and self care was the biggest piece that 407 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 3: was missing in my younger years, and it's the thing 408 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,199 Speaker 3: that now my body just won't allow it, you know, 409 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,439 Speaker 3: just it just tells me. 410 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,200 Speaker 2: It's it's like you've got to rest. And that happened 411 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 2: for me in November when away my retreat. 412 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 3: Thought i'd come back inspired and rejuvenated, and I came 413 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 3: back depleted and exhausted, and it I was forced into rest. 414 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 3: And so I just I think I read the signs 415 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 3: a lot earlier now. But that also can come from resentment, 416 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 3: doing things you don't want to do and living life 417 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,199 Speaker 3: on somebody else's agenda or terms. 418 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,120 Speaker 1: We'll be back after this short break with more from Emma. 419 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: How do you say no when you are away like 420 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 1: to work, I mean and even home, you know, to 421 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,000 Speaker 1: manage the business and the leisure. How do you implement 422 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: your boundaries. 423 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,120 Speaker 3: I think it's got easier over the years. Like I said, 424 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 3: having you know, if it's going to impact my time, 425 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 3: it's going to take time away from me, away from 426 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 3: my family, away from the thing that I love, then 427 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 3: it's a no. When before I did have all the 428 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 3: time in the world, so I could say those yes is. 429 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,960 Speaker 3: But one of the things I say is say no 430 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 3: to their needs so you can say yes to yours. 431 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 3: And you know, as a soul trader in freelancer, early 432 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 3: in my business, you did feel like that was if 433 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 3: I don't take this opportunity, especially media, if you don't 434 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,120 Speaker 3: take this opportunity, it's never going to come again. It's 435 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 3: not true. You know, there are other things and everything's 436 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 3: a choice. You know, I've gone on to troop and 437 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 3: I've missed a wedding. I've come back early from a 438 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 3: troop and then missed out on seeing a new location. 439 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 3: We have to make choices. It's always a choice. 440 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: So how are you okay with dealing with the missing 441 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,880 Speaker 1: the wedding or missing the location. How do you? Oh, 442 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: I just mentally deal with that. 443 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 2: Oh. 444 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 3: I mean, originally I had a chapter in the book 445 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 3: called sacrifices, but we changed it to choices because it's 446 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 3: a choice, and it's like which one. You know, one year, 447 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 3: I did choose not to go to a friend's wedding, 448 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 3: and I do have a still that was twelve years ago, 449 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 3: and I still sort of pine for that dear friend. 450 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 3: But I would have depleted my income. I would have 451 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 3: depleted my energy, and at that time I ended up 452 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 3: getting a really great client and kind of growing my business. 453 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,879 Speaker 3: So I can see it's like that sliding doors moment. 454 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 3: I could have kept that pattern up of work, work, work, 455 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 3: spend all my money, come back start again. Instead, I 456 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 3: chose to like kind of build a bit more foundation, 457 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,719 Speaker 3: and you know, twelve years later, I'm still doing it. 458 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: So now I have a question for you. It's well 459 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: from me. Yeah, personally, I mean, bleasure sounds amazing and definitely, 460 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: you know, as you've explained it, I feel like I 461 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: kind of live some of it. But I'm also I 462 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,479 Speaker 1: love travel, and often I go away and you know, 463 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 1: write stories. But it takes a hell of a lot 464 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,880 Speaker 1: to actually get away, a lot of stress, a lot 465 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: of planning, and then when I'm fine, and then also 466 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 1: the guilt of leaving, you go, oh, you know, I 467 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 1: hope they're going to be okay for the week that 468 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: I might. I went to Vietnam earlier this year, when 469 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: I'm away and nothing's going to happen, and dealing with 470 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 1: all that, and then when I'm actually on the plane, 471 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, I am wrecked. Yeah, how can one manage 472 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 1: all that? 473 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 3: You got to trust and empower those around you. I 474 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 3: mean I talk about the village as well, getting that support. 475 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 3: Asking for help. Sometimes people say no or they're not 476 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 3: a capacity, but don't stop asking. Keep reaching out. People 477 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 3: actually do want to support you and help you. And 478 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 3: early on I think I felt like my husband moved, 479 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 3: wasn't capable and I had to do a lot of 480 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 3: that stuff and it would be stressful in the early days. 481 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,639 Speaker 3: And then one time he turned around to me and 482 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 3: I was like, I got to get my mum up here. 483 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,800 Speaker 3: I've got to figure out your parents or someone's got 484 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 3: to come and support. He's like, hey, like, you know, 485 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 3: I can actually do that, And I went, all right, 486 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,239 Speaker 3: if you're saying that, and now it's like, if you 487 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 3: continue to make all the meals and do all the plans, well, 488 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 3: they're just going to keep accepting that. And again with 489 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,919 Speaker 3: that client who left our laptop, that was also a 490 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 3: big thing going away from the family and the business. 491 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,880 Speaker 3: But what happened was they stepped up. My husband steps up, 492 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 3: my in law step up. You know, the childcare helps out, 493 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,640 Speaker 3: the friends step up, the community steps up. But if 494 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 3: you keep doing it, then they won't. And again, you know, 495 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 3: it's all the choice. And I will miss my son 496 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,720 Speaker 3: when I go away. That's never going to. 497 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: Stop the guilt. So I think the other thing that 498 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 1: flies into this for me when I go away is 499 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: just the guilt. 500 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's an emment, Like it's a feeling in 501 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 3: its emotion. How people say you choose it, I still 502 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 3: get it, Like I'm not going to say that I don't. 503 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 3: But then I know I'm going to be a better person. 504 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 3: I'm going to be more fulfilled. And unfortunately it's like 505 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 3: the anti hero of the martyrs, right, you know, I 506 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 3: had come from a long line of martyrs. They're my 507 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,919 Speaker 3: anti heroes in that. I'm like, I've seen how that 508 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 3: plays out. I don't want to live that. I don't 509 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 3: want that for my family, I don't want for the 510 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 3: people around me. So yes, I feel a bit guilty sometimes. Yes, 511 00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 3: the initial going away might be feel like there's a 512 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,199 Speaker 3: lot to organize, but I know ultimately I went just 513 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,680 Speaker 3: to it to host an event in Manly, and I thought, 514 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 3: why am I doing this? Why am I going to 515 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 3: the hotel? Why didn't I just stay with my son 516 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 3: and my in laws and just run it for the day. 517 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,880 Speaker 3: But I walked in through those doors at that hotel 518 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 3: and I did the sigh of relief, and I just thought, Oh, 519 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 3: because this is for me, and this is so that 520 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 3: I can be the best for my clients Tomorrow. He's 521 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,560 Speaker 3: having the best time with his grandparents, and what a 522 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 3: great thing gift for them. Right My husband gets the 523 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 3: time with my son, my in laws get the time, 524 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 3: quality time, whereas if I'm around. And it keeps coming 525 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 3: to me that you're helping them build relationships, You're helping 526 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 3: them build resilience, You're empowering them to choose things for themselves. 527 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 3: And I just think that the better you are in yourself, 528 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,639 Speaker 3: the better you can be, you know, give from the 529 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:30,240 Speaker 3: overflow more full. I used to be like top up 530 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,040 Speaker 3: your cup. Now it's like no, it's like completely fill 531 00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 3: the cup. And then all that overflow and love gets 532 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 3: to go to everybody else. And you can just see 533 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,399 Speaker 3: it in my photo, like when I'm traveling, my face 534 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 3: lights up, my shoulders drop, my joy comes, my inspiration, 535 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 3: my creativity. 536 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 2: That's the person I want to be. 537 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: What's your favorite pleasure trip you've been on? 538 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 3: I think look most recently, yeah, most recently. And my 539 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 3: publicists do you think it's very funny? I booked a cruise, 540 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 3: European cruise and we were going to be like pitching 541 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 3: public city for the book one on the cruise. 542 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: Oh that's fun. So where was the cruise to. 543 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:11,240 Speaker 3: Italy, Greece and Turkey? And yeah, it was just awesome 544 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,239 Speaker 3: because you've got the kids club, You've got all your 545 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 3: food taken care of, the cleaning's done, you got the gym. 546 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 3: My husband went to the gym. So a great morning. 547 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 3: My husband went to drop our son at the kids club, 548 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,119 Speaker 3: he went to the gym. I sat on the balcony 549 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 3: in my swimming costume and did three hours of work 550 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 3: looking out at the ocean. And that was a beautiful day. 551 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 3: And so it was like, okay, cruise ships, the perfect office. 552 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 3: I just had to pay for the Wi Fi plan 553 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 3: and awhere we went. 554 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: And have you got any good trips planned for this year? 555 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness, so many. 556 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 3: I'm kind of trying to look at doing a couple 557 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 3: of months away. I want to go over to the US. 558 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 3: I kind of want to do a bit more work 559 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,919 Speaker 3: in the US, but I also have a relative there. 560 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 3: I want to spend time with base ourselves in Mexico, 561 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 3: which is where we got married, and take our son 562 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 3: there and kind of lived there for a little bit. 563 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 3: And then I want to get to all the countries 564 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,560 Speaker 3: in Central America because I have a all to visit 565 00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,320 Speaker 3: every country in the world, So sort of like. 566 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,399 Speaker 1: Batch, are you far? How's your list going? Are you 567 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:07,120 Speaker 1: ticking it off? 568 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 3: Seventy six of seventy six countries I've been to and 569 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 3: sixty four out of one hundred and ninety five un recognized, 570 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:14,680 Speaker 3: so a few to go. 571 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 1: But I mean, but that's pretty impressive. 572 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 3: Good. 573 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,800 Speaker 2: It's a good bite at the cherry. 574 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:22,199 Speaker 3: So yeah, I'd like to try and see if we 575 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 3: can experiment with that. It's my son's last year before 576 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 3: he goes to school. I'm excited to see how we 577 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 3: make it work then, but I kind of want to 578 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 3: take the opportunity when we don't have those timeline restrictions 579 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,719 Speaker 3: to do a few months and to spend time, and 580 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 3: it's more cost effective to go over spend a solid 581 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,840 Speaker 3: chunk of time there, and yeah, kind of see how 582 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 3: we make it work. 583 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: And live a life of calm. 584 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 3: A calm life on the beaches of Tulhim in Mexico. 585 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:48,920 Speaker 2: It sounds cherry. 586 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,440 Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I love that place anyway, Emma, thank you 587 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,360 Speaker 1: so much for joining. 588 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 2: Us on healthy Thank you for having me. 589 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 1: Old friends. I hope this inspired you to perhaps well 590 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: set some goals around how you are going to work 591 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,920 Speaker 1: less and play more this year. If you do want 592 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: some more advice around pleasure, Emma's new book is called 593 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 1: The Art of Pleasure and it is out now. And 594 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: by the way, just a reminder that Healthy Ish now 595 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 1: drops on a Monday and Thursday. And we've wrapped up 596 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: our big sister podcast, Extra healthy Ish. If you did 597 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,399 Speaker 1: like this one, tell us you can rate and review 598 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 1: this episode. Subscribe to this podcast. For anything else, head 599 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,159 Speaker 1: to body andsoul dot com dot Are you follow us 600 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,679 Speaker 1: on socials? You can DM me at Felicity Harley if 601 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,000 Speaker 1: you have any ideas for guests, or grab our print 602 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,880 Speaker 1: edition which is out in your local Sunday paper. Thanks 603 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 1: again for listening and stay healthy is