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Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, it's Katie, And just before we get into

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Speaker 2: this episode, I thought long and hard about talking about

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Speaker 2: something that's given me great shame over the years. I

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Speaker 2: chose not to talk about it on this episode. However,

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Speaker 2: on reflection, I've decided that I will share, so Rachel

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Speaker 2: and I will record that and release it in Wednesday's episode.

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Speaker 2: Enjoyed today's chat about money, life, stuff, life, parenting.

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Speaker 3: We're doing life together and we're just going to.

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Speaker 1: Tell you all about it.

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Speaker 2: I hate the word perimenopause. I can't We're not in menopause.

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Speaker 2: Like it's making me angry.

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Speaker 3: What.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode of Who even are We?

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Speaker 2: And this episode we're talking about money.

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Speaker 3: It's been a hot topic at the moment, Like I

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Speaker 3: feel like when you sort of brought this to the table,

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Speaker 3: I was like, wow, I've been listening and sort of

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Speaker 3: reading and article has been flowing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I've heard a lot about money blocks, which

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Speaker 2: I never, until quite recently even realized was such a thing.

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Speaker 2: And this even surprised me. We've been friends for years,

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Speaker 2: Rach and there was a previous episode where I said

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Speaker 2: I always worry about money. I worry about money, whether

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Speaker 2: I have it, whether I don't have it, whether it's coming,

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Speaker 2: whether it's not coming, Like it always feels stressful for me,

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Speaker 2: and you went, yeah, I feel the same, and it

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be surprising, because that's what this whole thing is about.

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Speaker 2: Is we look at other people and we go, oh,

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Speaker 2: look at them, they've got it all, as if they

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Speaker 2: can be worried about money. I've got a friend with

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Speaker 2: very very wealthy parents. She is going to be a

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Speaker 2: multi millionaire. She worries about money. I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 2: understand it. Yeah, don't understand. And it's all relative because

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Speaker 2: also what comes with it, Rach is it's not just

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Speaker 2: about money. It's about your job security. So people could

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Speaker 2: look at you or me and be like, oh, look,

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Speaker 2: you know they're doing this and they're working for themselves

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Speaker 2: and they've got this, that and the other going on.

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Speaker 2: They're fine. Yeah, And you're like, well, yeah, I understand

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Speaker 2: why you would feel like that, but my anxiety is

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Speaker 2: fucking through the roof because we don't know if it's

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Speaker 2: going to end tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think also like the job security part too, is

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Speaker 3: it always looks like, you know, it's that age old

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Speaker 3: saying of like the grass always looks greener, Like at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, when you're looking at somebody else,

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Speaker 3: you always think, oh, the grass is really green. Like

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Speaker 3: they've got it all going on, they've got it all

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Speaker 3: sort of, they'd be fine, you know, like, oh.

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Speaker 1: Look at the runners she's got on.

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Speaker 3: They're branded like you know, but really at the end

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Speaker 3: of the day, I think where it sort of can

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Speaker 3: stem from, like the job security part in itself for

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Speaker 3: all of us, for every single one of us as

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Speaker 3: human beings, is yeah, that is exactly right. It can

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Speaker 3: go tomorrow, whether you're working for yourself or whether you're

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Speaker 3: working for someone else. You know, as quickly as it comes,

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Speaker 3: it can go. And I think the one topic that

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Speaker 3: for me is like, what was your first money story

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Speaker 3: from your childhood?

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Speaker 2: Well, I remember the whole money doesn't grow on trees. Yes, yes, no,

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Speaker 2: you can't have that, and I do the same with

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Speaker 2: my kids.

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Speaker 3: That was from a programming though of your parents, right,

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Speaker 3: so then you think of your parents not knowingly, just

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Speaker 3: you know, saying these things, and then therefore you now

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Speaker 3: still as an adult, you're like, yeah, well I remember

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Speaker 3: being told money doesn't grow on trees.

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Speaker 1: But guess what, Katie, I'd the same thing.

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Speaker 2: Turn the tap off. Yeah, water isn't free. Turn the

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Speaker 2: light switch off. Yeah, it's like I remember them saying,

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Speaker 2: and this is probably an English reference, but it looks

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Speaker 2: like blackpool illuminations in here, because that was the sign

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Speaker 2: that's too many lights lights on, that's too expensive.

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Speaker 1: Exactly right.

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Speaker 3: We had like five years in a very very small

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Speaker 3: rural town in South Australia growing up as a kid,

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Speaker 3: and one of my very best friends, her parents owned

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Speaker 3: and worked and lived on this property like hundreds of

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Speaker 3: thousands of acres. I would have been probably Elsie's age,

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Speaker 3: like ten eleven, and we were always one bath, so

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Speaker 3: her and I had to use the same bath water,

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Speaker 3: and then her older brother. It was always like who

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Speaker 3: would get in there first before the other. As a kid,

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Speaker 3: it's not really you know, hitting home like it's sort

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Speaker 3: of programming, but it does because like going forward, I

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Speaker 3: say to my child, now get out of the shower.

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Speaker 3: You were wasting water.

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Speaker 2: What you just said about the bath that brought back

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Speaker 2: an immediate memory and it was the whole I'll leave

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Speaker 2: the bath water in for you and then you get

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Speaker 2: in after that person, I mean, how gross? You can help.

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Speaker 1: We did it.

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Speaker 2: We did it the bar then you share the water.

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Speaker 3: And so that first story that you remember of your

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Speaker 3: childhood when it attaches to something financially, is around those

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Speaker 3: crucial like stories for you. For me, it was like,

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Speaker 3: if you want money, you've got to work hard for it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now I have a really high work ethic.

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Speaker 3: Because I was ingrained from early that if you want

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Speaker 3: nice things, you get to pay for them, and if

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Speaker 3: you want to pay for them, you got to work

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Speaker 3: hard for them.

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Speaker 1: That's my marker.

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Speaker 3: I don't think that's healthy, you know, like, if you

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Speaker 3: were to really sit there and unpack with your very

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Speaker 3: first story that you learn about financial security, almost is

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Speaker 3: we're coming from pretty dire learnings of that. But at

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Speaker 3: the same time, that's not a reflection on my parents

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Speaker 3: or your parents. It was they did the best that

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Speaker 3: they could teaching us at that time with the best

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Speaker 3: knowledge that they had. Right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting when they talk about money blocks, because

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Speaker 2: money blocks come from beliefs like I'm bad with money

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Speaker 2: or I never have enough money, two of sentences that

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Speaker 2: I say often previously, I think I've been bad with money,

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Speaker 2: and to be honest, like I'll tell you a little

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Speaker 2: story about when Jay and I both lost our jobs

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Speaker 2: during COVID and I went straight to catastrophize it. And

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Speaker 2: the reason I did that rche was because we didn't

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Speaker 2: save any money. So we had good salaries and great jobs,

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Speaker 2: and we spent it all. We drove nice cars, we

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Speaker 2: went on nice holidays. And then it came to the

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Speaker 2: point where it was all ended immediately, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: fuck that feeling of panic of going I have not

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Speaker 2: given myself a safety net at all. I went straight

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Speaker 2: to We're going to have to move house, kids are

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Speaker 2: going to have to change schools. They're not going to

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Speaker 2: be able to do dance like all things that you do.

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Speaker 2: You go, fuck, that's it. We are completely over, like

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Speaker 2: that's the end of us. We're fucked like and it's

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Speaker 2: so stressful.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well, remind me not to be with you at

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Speaker 3: the end of the world, because I'm not.

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Speaker 1: We wouldn't cope.

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Speaker 2: Like I remember Jay saying one day, I'll just sign

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Speaker 2: up for Uber, I'll drive Uber.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you're a terrible driver. I am now

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Speaker 2: big on It takes a while, because it takes a

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Speaker 2: while for you to change your mindset about money. But

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Speaker 2: for me, now, saving is not about saving for something,

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Speaker 2: saving for a holiday, saving for a new outfit, whatever.

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Speaker 2: Saving for me is a safety blanket, and that's about

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Speaker 2: my mental health because I find it so stressful thinking

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Speaker 2: about money and where it's coming from next that if

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Speaker 2: I know I've got a little buffer, it makes me

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Speaker 2: feel a little bit less stressed and a little bit

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Speaker 2: more secure.

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Speaker 3: There's a marker on it to say, like how much

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Speaker 3: you need to save in order to feel comfortable to

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Speaker 3: have that safety blanket there. Because each and every one

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Speaker 3: of us and our situations are different, the jobs are different,

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Speaker 3: and everything you know is different kind of thing, but

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Speaker 3: you know, every one of us, if we were to

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Speaker 3: sit back and you had a little bit of that

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Speaker 3: buffer in those hard times, it would take off the

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Speaker 3: pressure of having to like catastrophize or go into that like,

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Speaker 3: you know, just say you're breaks down kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: You're not going to go holy like how am I

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Speaker 1: going to pay for this?

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Speaker 3: As well as like oh my god, and now I

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Speaker 3: need a new like and you'd already have that peace

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Speaker 3: of mind taken care of. It would just go into

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Speaker 3: the logic of Okay, well I've got to get it

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Speaker 3: towed and then I'll probably have to look at that

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Speaker 3: and maybe I'll put it into there because they're a

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Speaker 3: bit cheaper or like whatever it is. But that piece

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Speaker 3: of mind blanket, I think is probably an important one

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Speaker 3: that most of us could probably take away with.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and look, it's hard to save, especially in right

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Speaker 2: now when everything's so bloody expensive, like you get one

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Speaker 2: electricity bill and your savings are gone.

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Speaker 3: I've gone and done some workaround money and your relationship

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Speaker 3: with money, because the relationship with money has such an

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Speaker 3: attachment piece to who you are and your identity. There's

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Speaker 3: so much in money and your identity of money that

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Speaker 3: comes down to basic things like self worth yeah and ego.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So for me, when you say those blocks, I'm one

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Speaker 3: hundred percent with you on I probably to do what

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Speaker 3: you're saying with the safety net, because I also do

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Speaker 3: what you do, which is worry. I'm a money warrior

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Speaker 3: because that is where I've grown up from, and that's

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Speaker 3: my relationship with money, taught from my mum that basically

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Speaker 3: had none. My dad chose to support himself and then

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Speaker 3: we grew up on the bears of our ars basically,

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Speaker 3: so when we had money, you know, you worked hard,

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Speaker 3: for it and then you saved it or you spent

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Speaker 3: it on the things that meant the most to you.

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Speaker 3: So that was my learnings, which is why then I

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Speaker 3: have that attachment piece of like worry, worry, where's.

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Speaker 1: It going to come from? What if this?

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Speaker 3: And like you know, I constantly have that piece of

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Speaker 3: the puzzle where Sam complete opposite.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's interesting because he's very laid back and you

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Speaker 2: know it will come, whereas you're the hustler. It's like, no,

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Speaker 2: we need to make it come. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's really interesting. There is a like a worthiness piece

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Speaker 2: that you touched on a minute ago of am I

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Speaker 2: worthy of money? Am I worthy of those things? Because

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Speaker 2: if deep down you don't feel like you're worthy of

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Speaker 2: those things. And I feel like that you know, has

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Speaker 2: some times to do with what comes to you and

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Speaker 2: what doesn't come to you. It's understanding that you are

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Speaker 2: worthy and it's okay to want more. And I think

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Speaker 2: one of the important things.

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Speaker 1: For I wish Sam was here right now.

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Speaker 3: I would love to say you say that I'm the

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Speaker 3: person that just likes to know that there's enough coming

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Speaker 3: in in order to cover the base of just life.

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Speaker 3: When I got to a certain age where I could

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Speaker 3: get my own job, my very first job. I had

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Speaker 3: to get my job because otherwise I didn't have any money,

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Speaker 3: and not having the money, man, I couldn't go on

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Speaker 3: any of the netball trips that I made all these

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Speaker 3: rep teams for, and I you know, and then you

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Speaker 3: need the uniforms, and then you need to pay for

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Speaker 3: the trips, and then you need to pay for your

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Speaker 3: brand new shoes because you're playing consistently for a whole

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Speaker 3: entire year. If I didn't have a part time job,

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Speaker 3: I didn't get to do that stuff. That was as

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Speaker 3: simple as it was. Mum couldn't afford it. So that's

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Speaker 3: where I think my worrying came from. Was like I

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Speaker 3: started hustling and earning money from a very early age

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Speaker 3: because I wanted the nice things. I wanted the assets

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Speaker 3: for my nettle shoes, and I wanted so desperately to

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Speaker 3: be a part of these teams to go away and

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Speaker 3: do all of that. But my mum was working her

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Speaker 3: ass off and a very low paying job. So that's

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Speaker 3: where my came from. Sam's is another whole kettle of fish,

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Speaker 3: where that laid back nature of that belief system of like.

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Speaker 2: No it's gonna be.

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Speaker 1: It just comes. And I do not operate like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm the same as you. I don't operate

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Speaker 2: like that either, And I wish I could, like I

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Speaker 2: would love to be able to be like that. But

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Speaker 2: what's interesting is that when we do have those hard times,

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Speaker 2: and everybody has them at some point or another, it

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Speaker 2: does always work out. And yes, you could go through

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Speaker 2: some fucking horrible times and all the rest of it,

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Speaker 2: but it does work itself out in the end. And

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Speaker 2: there are always ways of making money. And I try

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Speaker 2: and say to myself to calm myself down on you know,

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Speaker 2: occasions where I've felt a bit overwhelmed by it. You

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Speaker 2: can always go and work at Woolli's. There are always jobs,

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Speaker 2: and there are always ways of making money. One of

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Speaker 2: the things that I try and look at now is so, yes,

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Speaker 2: it's okay to want more. But I've certainly been to

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Speaker 2: places where I have started feeling like I'm not happy

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Speaker 2: because I thought I would have more at this age, right,

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Speaker 2: And then when I actually unpack that and start looking

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Speaker 2: at what I do have, I'm like, why am I

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Speaker 2: thinking like that? Yes, it's okay to want more. I

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Speaker 2: do believe that. However, it's not okay to want more

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Speaker 2: if I'm not going to allow myself to feel grateful

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Speaker 2: for what I do have. And actually, if I was

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Speaker 2: to go back ten years and look at my life now,

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Speaker 2: I would go, oh my god, that's all I've ever wanted.

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Speaker 2: But what I don't like and what I need to

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Speaker 2: work on is the feeling of going, oh, but I'm

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Speaker 2: not where I'm supposed to be in life, and this

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Speaker 2: was supposed to happen. I was supposed to have this

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Speaker 2: and forget about all the stuff that I do have,

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Speaker 2: because when you talk about wealth, I'm like, I'm fucking

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Speaker 2: so rich. I've got two children. Yeah, we've got a house,

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Speaker 2: I'm married, I'm working, I'm healthy. That's actually all that matters.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to find when we get to the end

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Speaker 2: of this episode, I'm going to read you a post

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Speaker 2: that Steve Jobs wrote, and he wasn't a very liked

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Speaker 2: person I've heard, but I do really like what he

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Speaker 2: said about money. But yeah, it's allowing yourself to have

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Speaker 2: a moment to look back on where you've come from

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Speaker 2: and what you have now and going actually, like, how good.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's like you know that sits within

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Speaker 3: that gratitude piece as well though, like being grateful for

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Speaker 3: what you've achieved this far and what you've got already. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and those things, like you said, like those finite pieces

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Speaker 3: that make up the bigger picture, which is your healthy wealth.

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Speaker 3: You know, like the wealth is built from around your health,

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Speaker 3: your body physically being able to do it, your mental health,

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Speaker 3: you know, still being here and being present. It's all

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Speaker 3: good to be functioning at such a high level and

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Speaker 3: earning all the money in the world, but if you're

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Speaker 3: not present, then what are you? Like, you know, you've

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Speaker 3: missed all the moments of what counts. Yeah, that makes

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Speaker 3: sense to you, going off that gratitude piece and what

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Speaker 3: you're just saying, Katie, I have a question, which is

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Speaker 3: do you think people earn to the level they believe

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Speaker 3: they deserve. Now this comes off the back of, say,

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Speaker 3: for instance, me being a personal trainer. If you look

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Speaker 3: around within the personal training world, the rates change so much, Katie,

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Speaker 3: my self worth, I go, why do I undercharge myself

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Speaker 3: within my you know, real of work. I feel like

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Speaker 3: it has something to do with financial self worth and

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Speaker 3: the attachment style to money. Yeah, so I put myself

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Speaker 3: out there and I see all of these other personal

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Speaker 3: trainers and then I go, oh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I can't charge that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I don't know where it comes from. And

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Speaker 3: I don't know why I do it, but I do it.

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Speaker 2: I would love to do some work on that too,

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Speaker 2: because I'm the same I will be pressing a job

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Speaker 2: where I'm putting my time and your time, and so

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Speaker 2: that's what it is too. Yeah, And I'll go, I

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Speaker 2: don't really want to charge them that. I'll just charge it,

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Speaker 2: and Jay will go whine on and I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: because I just feel bad because I feel bad, and

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Speaker 2: this is the thing, right, So you as a personal trainer,

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Speaker 2: that's your business, that's your skill, that's what you're offering someone.

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Speaker 2: It's a service.

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Speaker 1: It's a service.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, same as me, same as you, And yet we

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Speaker 2: don't feel like we could charge what we deserve to charge.

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Speaker 2: And for me, I then pum it off on other people.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, you build them because I don't

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Speaker 2: want to do it. I think there's a kind of

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Speaker 2: a maybe slightly people pleasing. There's definitely a feeling of

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Speaker 2: I feel bad, but rage. I feel bad chasing unpaid invoices.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know if I was like.

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't feel bad. They owe the money.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you've done the work.

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Speaker 2: I've done the work. Yeah, they owe the money, and

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Speaker 2: I feel bad. I'm like, I don't want to ask them.

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Speaker 2: I feel like a pain, Like I'm the pain.

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Speaker 3: I think for me, I look at it and go,

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Speaker 3: why do some people actually feel guilty about like charging

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Speaker 3: those rates? Well, why do people like you know, feel

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Speaker 3: guilty about essentially what it is is making money? So

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Speaker 3: I look at that and go, why is the guilt

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Speaker 3: part attached to making money for some people?

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Speaker 1: But I think that that comes for me. I go.

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Speaker 1: I would strip it back and go.

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Speaker 3: I think that there would unpack for me like a

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Speaker 3: little bit of that you know, self worth and why

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00:16:58,961 --> 00:17:02,961
Speaker 3: you see yourself less of an earning capacity than any

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Speaker 3: other person within that industry.

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Speaker 1: That's where I would take it.

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Speaker 2: I think it is that.

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Speaker 3: I then go one step further, and when things start

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00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,400
Speaker 3: feeling like they're getting.

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Speaker 1: A roll on or they'll feel.

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Speaker 3: Like they're somewhat becoming okay with then my success bucket

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Speaker 3: of like money, I'll start to self sabotage.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why I do it, but I start

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Speaker 1: to self sabotage a little bit of going. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why they'd choose me.

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Speaker 3: If I just lessen myself a little bit, I'll just

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Speaker 3: stay in the background, and then I don't have to

353
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:36,241
Speaker 3: worry about, you know, putting myself out there a little

354
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Speaker 3: bit more, because then they'll want more of me, which

355
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 3: will mean more of my time, which will mean that

356
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Speaker 3: I have to then charge more. Like and there's all

357
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Speaker 3: these other things that just start layering upon layer.

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Speaker 2: And then so you almost don't want to do any

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Speaker 2: of it.

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00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:51,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like really getting deep into what I

361
00:17:51,721 --> 00:17:54,281
Speaker 3: go from that guilt process of like I'm not worth it?

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Speaker 1: Why would I? Why would they want me? Like what

363
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Speaker 1: have I got to offer?

364
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Speaker 3: And then I'll self sabotage, try and take myself completely

365
00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 3: out of the picture of it. But I know that

366
00:18:03,321 --> 00:18:07,001
Speaker 3: it all has strings attached to my learnings of money

367
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Speaker 3: early on in my lifetime.

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Speaker 2: I think I do the same as you. I don't

369
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Speaker 2: think I do the self sabotage part. I think I

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Speaker 2: end up doing the work, but doing it at a

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Speaker 2: lesser value than I'm probably worth. And it is around

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Speaker 2: that whole worthiness. One of the things I wanted to

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Speaker 2: touch on with this conversation of money as well, is

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Speaker 2: because I think we have an unrealistic view of what

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Speaker 2: other people go through in life. Because I think money

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Speaker 2: is the one thing that we don't talk about.

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Speaker 1: Do you mean you've been taught that way, right, because

378
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Speaker 1: taught not to ask you.

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Speaker 2: No, it's rude. Don't ever ask anybody what they earn.

380
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Speaker 2: The shame around money, I think is one of the

381
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Speaker 2: biggest things. At some point, everybody's gone through some sort

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00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,921
Speaker 2: of money worry, but you don't talk about it at

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Speaker 2: the time. You might talk about it afterwards, you might

384
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:04,120
Speaker 2: talk about it years later. I didn't ever tell anybody

385
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,521
Speaker 2: back when we lost jobs in twenty twenty that Jay

386
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,041
Speaker 2: was filling out uberforms at the dining room table. I

387
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:13,801
Speaker 2: didn't tell anyone that because there was a shame around that,

388
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:19,401
Speaker 2: and that was around the failure of losing our jobs,

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Speaker 2: the full from grace of going from the jobs we

390
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:30,281
Speaker 2: had to the jobs we were facing. I felt really

391
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Speaker 2: fucking stupid for not saving any money rage. I wasn't

392
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Speaker 2: going to start telling people that. I think what's.

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Speaker 1: Interesting very harsh on yourself.

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Speaker 2: You go through things like that, and look, that was

395
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Speaker 2: six years ago. I'm not saying for one second I

396
00:19:44,201 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 2: haven't been back there again because I have plenty of times.

397
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,801
Speaker 2: I will talk now about JA filling out the ubiform

398
00:19:50,961 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 2: and the fact that we had no money. But you

399
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:57,881
Speaker 2: don't talk about that to anyone at the time. If

400
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,080
Speaker 2: you're going through a health problem, I've talked to you

401
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 2: about health problems. When you're going you can talk to people,

402
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 2: you can rely on your friends and all the the

403
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,680
Speaker 2: rest of it. When you're going through money issues, you

404
00:20:07,761 --> 00:20:08,681
Speaker 2: keep it to yourself.

405
00:20:08,921 --> 00:20:10,001
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.

406
00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 2: And it's so interesting because I didn't even want to

407
00:20:13,241 --> 00:20:16,880
Speaker 2: talk to my family, my dad, yeah, anyone. I find

408
00:20:16,921 --> 00:20:18,481
Speaker 2: that's so much shame around that.

409
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Speaker 3: Yeah.

410
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

411
00:20:19,681 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 3: And the shame is more from our own person to

412
00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 3: ourselves if there's not anything else, because like I've you know,

413
00:20:25,721 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 3: I will speak about that definitely within our family circle.

414
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,681
Speaker 3: Like if I lend Luke money, I know it's coming

415
00:20:34,721 --> 00:20:37,321
Speaker 3: straight back, and vice versa. If he was to lend

416
00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,281
Speaker 3: me money, he knows that I'm good for it. And

417
00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 3: I think that's where the relationship forms and grows and

418
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,441
Speaker 3: trust in order to be able to talk to each

419
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Speaker 3: other about financials because I'm with you, I'm one hundred

420
00:20:47,001 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 3: percent with you. It's something that is absolutely unspoken about

421
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,160
Speaker 3: because I feel there is that question upon yourself that

422
00:20:55,241 --> 00:20:58,321
Speaker 3: if you go and speak to someone about it, as

423
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,961
Speaker 3: in a friend or family member or something like that,

424
00:21:01,481 --> 00:21:03,281
Speaker 3: if you don't know how they react to money, and

425
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:06,401
Speaker 3: you don't know what their relationship is money, you don't

426
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,761
Speaker 3: know if they're going to go, well, what are you

427
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:09,721
Speaker 3: talking to me for about it? Do you want money

428
00:21:09,721 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 3: from me? Because money is such a it has a

429
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,761
Speaker 3: lot of power. Yeah, it has a lot of talk

430
00:21:14,961 --> 00:21:19,121
Speaker 3: behind it. Right, no matter what financial situation or position

431
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 3: that any human being is in, it's got power.

432
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,761
Speaker 2: I don't know why I buy a lotto tickets. I've

433
00:21:23,801 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 2: got an automatic.

434
00:21:24,961 --> 00:21:28,161
Speaker 3: Because what happened because what an a lotto ticket brings

435
00:21:28,801 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 3: freedom is freedom.

436
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:34,561
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I have definitely heard Kylie Jenner do an

437
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,001
Speaker 2: interview where she goes, I can buy any house I want,

438
00:21:38,281 --> 00:21:41,481
Speaker 2: and it's exciting for ten minutes and then it's not exciting.

439
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,160
Speaker 2: And I think of everything that we save or buy.

440
00:21:45,561 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 2: You buy a new outfit, you go have a facial,

441
00:21:48,201 --> 00:21:51,880
Speaker 2: you book a holiday, you're excited for it. If you

442
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 2: could do that stuff every single day whenever you want it,

443
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,761
Speaker 2: it's not exciting anymore. So then what is exciting? Which

444
00:21:57,761 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 2: is why I think so many celebrities end up you know,

445
00:22:01,281 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 2: depressed or on drugs or whatever.

446
00:22:03,201 --> 00:22:06,121
Speaker 3: Well, it's just going to say it's because when someone

447
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 3: who wea view as being successful and they take their

448
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,681
Speaker 3: own lives, which is fucking horrendous to think that they're

449
00:22:13,681 --> 00:22:16,641
Speaker 3: in that place where they feel so alone that they

450
00:22:16,681 --> 00:22:17,481
Speaker 3: take their own lives.

451
00:22:17,481 --> 00:22:19,921
Speaker 1: They choose to leave this earth. But they had all

452
00:22:19,961 --> 00:22:22,041
Speaker 1: of that. Most people will go but they had everything,

453
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,481
Speaker 1: They had everything, why would they want?

454
00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 3: But at the same time, that just shows that having

455
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 3: everything at your disposal, through money and power and status

456
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 3: and ego and those sorts of things, it's interesting to

457
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,321
Speaker 3: go that it still wasn't enough. So then I would

458
00:22:39,321 --> 00:22:42,281
Speaker 3: say to you, well, then what is enough? I feel

459
00:22:42,281 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 3: like if I had all the money in the world,

460
00:22:44,961 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 3: I think I would be probably similar to them.

461
00:22:46,961 --> 00:22:48,961
Speaker 1: I'd still be looking going but it's not enough.

462
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,841
Speaker 3: Yeah, But I know what my personality type is, Katie,

463
00:22:52,961 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 3: is it's probably not about the money fulfillment more so

464
00:22:56,921 --> 00:22:59,321
Speaker 3: than what is inside that I'm lacking.

465
00:22:59,441 --> 00:23:00,281
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

466
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? And I think when you go back to the

467
00:23:03,201 --> 00:23:10,121
Speaker 2: reasons why we want money and so you go security, freedom, status,

468
00:23:10,561 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: I don't think that should be a bad word status.

469
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 2: A lot of us enjoy wearing nice clothes or having

470
00:23:18,001 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 2: something a little bit flashy, or we joke about women

471
00:23:21,561 --> 00:23:25,401
Speaker 2: and diamonds and you know, but it's because there are

472
00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:27,881
Speaker 2: genuine things that were like, oh, look at me, it

473
00:23:27,961 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 2: feels good. It feels for a short amount of time,

474
00:23:33,521 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 2: and I reckon the more that you have, the shorter

475
00:23:35,761 --> 00:23:38,160
Speaker 2: that amount of time are feeling good about it is.

476
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 2: I would love to be one of those people that

477
00:23:41,961 --> 00:23:45,321
Speaker 2: is just happy with how they are where they are,

478
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,161
Speaker 2: and then is saving money for their future.

479
00:23:48,921 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then what happens to you?

480
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,041
Speaker 2: I'm not that person.

481
00:23:51,201 --> 00:23:53,561
Speaker 1: But what if you don't have a future exactly?

482
00:23:54,681 --> 00:23:58,721
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's the thing. I'm like, well, great for you.

483
00:23:58,721 --> 00:24:02,041
Speaker 2: You've got a massive retirement fund and you've set yourself

484
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 2: up for the future, but what if you die tomorrow.

485
00:24:04,481 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 1: That's been a way my whole thing is like I

486
00:24:06,441 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: look at it and go and goes.

487
00:24:07,481 --> 00:24:10,041
Speaker 3: I'm saving so I can save, and then I'm going

488
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 3: to save a little bit more and I'm going to

489
00:24:11,481 --> 00:24:12,640
Speaker 3: put it away from my kids.

490
00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:19,561
Speaker 1: And I'm like, why that wasn't teaching him anything anything?

491
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,561
Speaker 3: And don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, saying that

492
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:23,641
Speaker 3: my kids don't get anything. But at the same time

493
00:24:23,721 --> 00:24:25,801
Speaker 3: I look at it and go fuck. I have a

494
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: little bit of that fuck it, book it kind of vibe.

495
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 3: I have moments in that, like I was stressed for

496
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,441
Speaker 3: ten months of the year and then the two months

497
00:24:34,441 --> 00:24:36,481
Speaker 3: where I go, fuck it, book it, spend it dollar

498
00:24:36,721 --> 00:24:39,561
Speaker 3: fucking going why, I don't know, Maybe I gonna am

499
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:40,321
Speaker 3: I going to die tomorrow.

500
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,001
Speaker 1: I don't know why.

501
00:24:41,120 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 3: I'm going to go That again, is a personality type

502
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 3: more than anything I am.

503
00:24:45,801 --> 00:24:49,281
Speaker 2: I'm the person that is stressed. Ninety nine percent of

504
00:24:49,281 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 2: the time. I am stressed about money. I am worried

505
00:24:51,681 --> 00:24:53,961
Speaker 2: where's it coming from? And then that one percent goes

506
00:24:53,961 --> 00:24:58,120
Speaker 2: fuck it, spend it all. Now, I want to read

507
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 2: out this post from Steve Jobs. So Steve Jobs obviously

508
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,201
Speaker 2: co founder, chairman, and CEO of Apple. He died. I'm

509
00:25:05,281 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 2: twenty eleven. He was fifty six years old, which is

510
00:25:08,201 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 2: pretty young. He had pancreatic cancer, and he was worth

511
00:25:12,001 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 2: ten point two billion dollars when he died. Rage I

512
00:25:16,481 --> 00:25:19,761
Speaker 2: reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In

513
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,441
Speaker 2: some other's eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However,

514
00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:27,161
Speaker 2: aside from work, I have a little joy. In the end,

515
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 2: my wealth is only a fact of life that I

516
00:25:29,721 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 2: am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed

517
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,321
Speaker 2: and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition

518
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:40,001
Speaker 2: and wealth that I took so much pride in have

519
00:25:40,201 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 2: paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.

520
00:25:44,521 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 2: You can employ someone to drive the car for you,

521
00:25:47,521 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 2: make money for you, but you cannot have someone bear

522
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,801
Speaker 2: your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found

523
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,321
Speaker 2: or replaced, but there is one thing that can never

524
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:59,681
Speaker 2: be found when it's lost, and that's life. Treat yourself

525
00:25:59,761 --> 00:26:03,401
Speaker 2: well and cherish others. As we grow older and hopefully wiser,

526
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: we realize that three hundred dollar watch or a thirty

527
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,361
Speaker 2: dollar watch both tell the same time whether you fly

528
00:26:11,521 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 2: first class or go economy. If the plane goes down,

529
00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 2: you go down with it. Don't educate your children to

530
00:26:17,921 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 2: be rich. Educate them to be happy, so when they

531
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 2: grow up they will know the value of things and

532
00:26:23,201 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 2: not the price. Eat your food as your medicine, otherwise

533
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,120
Speaker 2: you have to eat medicine as your food. The six

534
00:26:30,241 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 2: best doctors in the world are sunlight, rest, exercise, diet,

535
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:39,080
Speaker 2: self confidence, and friends, maintain them all in stages and

536
00:26:39,241 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: enjoy a healthy life. Ten point two billion dollars one

537
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:48,041
Speaker 2: of the most successful people in our era, and lying

538
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 2: on his deathbed, the money meant absolutely nothing can't save you.

539
00:26:51,481 --> 00:26:54,841
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, I love that part of the money can't

540
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: buy you health.

541
00:26:56,481 --> 00:26:59,681
Speaker 2: We all laugh about money can't buy you happiness. Oh yeah,

542
00:26:59,681 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: but actually it can. Look at my new bag. But

543
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,401
Speaker 2: it's true. And so what I want people to take

544
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 2: away from this episode is that we all have money

545
00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:14,241
Speaker 2: issues and money worries and stages in our life where

546
00:27:14,281 --> 00:27:17,001
Speaker 2: it's been a bit fucked. Don't ever look at other

547
00:27:17,041 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 2: people's lives and think that they've got it all, because

548
00:27:20,321 --> 00:27:23,041
Speaker 2: actually they've been in your boat and it might not

549
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 2: be as perfect as it seems from the outside. Because

550
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 2: we have that shame and because we don't talk about

551
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,120
Speaker 2: it when it's happening.

552
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:31,641
Speaker 3: Now, I've got so much work to do on myself

553
00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 3: anyway when it comes to money and my relationship with money,

554
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,801
Speaker 3: But mine is more around like letting go of the ego,

555
00:27:37,921 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 3: and that comparison is it is the theft of joy.

556
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,481
Speaker 3: Your joy you're happy, like if we sit in comparison

557
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:49,561
Speaker 3: to everyone else and everything else then, Yeah, that would

558
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 3: be probably my take on it, and my own little

559
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,161
Speaker 3: piece on it would be having a little look into

560
00:27:55,201 --> 00:28:00,160
Speaker 3: your own habits with money and seeing where it comes from. So, like,

561
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: the ego part is huge when it comes to money,

562
00:28:02,761 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 3: and the ego in comparison for me are the two things.

563
00:28:06,561 --> 00:28:09,521
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I'm saying that because I know.

564
00:28:09,801 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 3: That that's some of the box that I have to

565
00:28:12,681 --> 00:28:17,281
Speaker 3: also work through personally myself as well. It's like I

566
00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 3: have that really bad habit of comparing. Yeah, and mine

567
00:28:20,921 --> 00:28:25,201
Speaker 3: isn't about money. One is about success and successes, comparison

568
00:28:25,321 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 3: through achievements and successes.

569
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and making more money makes you feel more successful.

570
00:28:30,521 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 3: My money to my like, and this is where I

571
00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:35,241
Speaker 3: need to be changing my self worth.

572
00:28:35,321 --> 00:28:37,921
Speaker 1: Part is I see what I do as.

573
00:28:37,761 --> 00:28:40,681
Speaker 3: A service to others and to their own health and

574
00:28:40,721 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 3: wellbeing and becoming their better potential of themselves. But I

575
00:28:45,481 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: don't then value my own. It's been really good to

576
00:28:48,241 --> 00:28:49,921
Speaker 3: sort of sit here and sit in that because I

577
00:28:49,921 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 3: look at it and go, Yeah, the way that I

578
00:28:51,521 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 3: see it is that I'm observice to others. So then

579
00:28:53,561 --> 00:28:56,841
Speaker 3: therefore I can't really charge that much and my worth

580
00:28:56,921 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 3: is not really their sort of thing.

581
00:28:58,361 --> 00:29:00,521
Speaker 1: So I would go down that path for me.

582
00:29:00,881 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 2: So I was laying on my deathbed right now, I

583
00:29:03,481 --> 00:29:06,921
Speaker 2: would not be thinking I wish I had more money.

584
00:29:07,081 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 2: I'd be thinking I wish I hadn't wasted so many

585
00:29:10,761 --> 00:29:13,681
Speaker 2: good days and years worrying about money.

586
00:29:13,921 --> 00:29:16,841
Speaker 3: If someone looked at your bank statement right now, would

587
00:29:16,881 --> 00:29:19,521
Speaker 3: they know what you value in life?

588
00:29:20,321 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Yeah. If someone looks at my bank statement

589
00:29:24,081 --> 00:29:30,001
Speaker 2: right now, they'd see Dan Murphy's come up and go really, yeah, worried. No,

590
00:29:30,161 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 2: that is how worried I am. That's how much I

591
00:29:32,481 --> 00:29:34,641
Speaker 2: have to spend because that's how much stress.

592
00:29:34,841 --> 00:29:37,361
Speaker 3: So they would definitely know what you value in life.

593
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:39,881
Speaker 3: For me, like that question unfolding.

594
00:29:39,361 --> 00:29:44,041
Speaker 1: It, I would go, there's a high percentage of caffeine

595
00:29:44,081 --> 00:29:45,281
Speaker 1: addiction in there.

596
00:29:45,521 --> 00:29:50,041
Speaker 3: The value of my bank statement is kids, wellbeing, caffeine,

597
00:29:50,441 --> 00:29:52,401
Speaker 3: a little bit of bubbles in between,