WEBVTT - The morning workout that got Laura Henshaw pregnant 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.240 You have had a very big week. 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:04.480 I mean normally I would say you're on the cover 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.560 of Stella. What gets bigger than that? But you and 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.119 your husband have some baby news. 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:12.560 Yeah, we're pregnant, which is it was a very big shock. 0:00:21.120 --> 0:00:24.720 Hello and welcome to the Stella Podcast. I'm Sarah Lamarquin, your. 0:00:24.520 --> 0:00:26.920 Host, and every week I sit down with some of 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:30.120 the biggest names in the country because when Australia's celebrities 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:33.040 are ready to talk, they come to something to talk about. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:37.120 Laura Henshaw has struck a chord with many women by 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:41.320 being honest about her uncertainty about becoming a parent. Just 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:44.720 last year, she released a podcast mini series documenting her 0:00:44.760 --> 0:00:48.520 reservations about having a baby, not only the physical toll 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.120 it would take, but the impact it might have on 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:55.480 her sense of identity, her ambition, and her career. So 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:59.240 when Laura found herself unexpectedly pregnant with her first child, 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:02.560 as she says, a complete shock. 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:04.800 Today, for the first. 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:07.920 Time since announcing the news, Laura opens up about what 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:11.160 it was like to see that positive pregnancy test, and, 0:01:11.240 --> 0:01:14.920 in her characteristically candid fashion, shares why she and her 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:18.320 husband were so surprised, and also admits to her fear 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.399 that going public with her happy news this week could 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:25.600 be letting some people down. We also unpack that recent 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:29.560 headline making response to podcaster Chris Griffin, whose very retro 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:33.000 viewes on gender roles left her so concerned she felt 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:35.840 she had no choice but to speak up, sparking a 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:39.600 national conversation about the rise of the manisphere and why 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.520 trends such as tradwives and stay at home girlfriends on 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:48.000 TikTok are so dangerous. Laura Henshaw, welcome to the Stellar podcast. 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:49.800 Thank you so much for having me. 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:53.120 It's lovely to see you. You have had a very 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:53.680 big week. 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:55.880 I mean, normally I would say you're on the cover 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:59.000 of Stella. What gets bigger than that? But you and 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:01.720 your husband have somews we do. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:04.600 I don't know if you say we are pregnant or 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.440 I'm pregnant, I'm still yeah. 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.480 I think that we all tend to say we. 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:11.079 We always think before it happens. 0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:13.120 I'll never be one of those people that says we. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.320 And then you are so welcome to the first of 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:16.560 many things. 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.800 That you probably swore you'd never do when you became 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:22.280 a parent, and you're going to find yourself doing yes. 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:26.040 So, yeah, we're pregnant, which is it was such was 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:29.600 it was a very big shock. I had been on 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.040 a journey last year. I actually did a podcast series 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.559 about it because I just I was feeling so overwhelmed 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:40.160 by the thought of having children. I had thought by 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.040 the time I turned thirty. I don't know why, but 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.240 that was the age that I had in my head. 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:45.640 And I know a lot of my friends were kind 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:48.040 of similar that by the time I'm thirty, I'll want 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:51.160 to have children, like almost this light bulb or something 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.880 switch will go off in my head and I'll film 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:57.480 maternal and I'll know that I want kids. And I 0:02:57.520 --> 0:03:01.240 got to thirty, and it was actually for me, between 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:05.160 kind of thirty and thirty two, I actually felt the opposite. 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:07.160 The closer I got to the age that I thought 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.200 I should be having kids, the more that I kind 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:13.160 of was questioning the fact that actually, maybe I don't 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.840 know if I want to have kids, and I wanted 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:19.400 to talk about it. Last year. I just I felt 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.440 like so many of my friends they felt and with 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:25.560 Steph and Steph's obviously been on this wonderful podcast as well, 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:29.480 my business partner and best friend at kick. She's really 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.320 maternal and has always wanted to have kids. And I 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.120 used to think, like, well, what's wrong with me? Why 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:35.760 did you know Steph wants to have kids? And I've 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.640 got other friends that just knew that they wanted to 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.240 have them, and for me, it wasn't like that. And 0:03:40.280 --> 0:03:42.000 I had kind of all of these fears that I 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:43.760 was worried that I was going to lose myself, I 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:46.839 was going to lose my career, and that I would 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.880 really struggle. And so I went on this journey last 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.360 year to work through like is this something that I 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:54.920 want to do, and then also of course for my 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:57.640 husband as well, and we came out at the end 0:03:57.640 --> 0:04:00.880 of it and decided that we did want to have children, 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:04.800 but we weren't one hundred percent sure when, but also 0:04:04.840 --> 0:04:07.160 we were not ready kind of last year we did 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.320 the miniseries in May, when I kind of did the 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:12.480 exploration journey, And I think with a big decision like 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:14.960 this as well, you never I kind of this is 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:17.880 probably a shocking thing to relate it to or compare 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.680 it to, but I feel like it's kind of like 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:22.160 a breakup. You're never one hundred percent sure if you 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:23.800 should break up with someone or not right. Well, I 0:04:23.800 --> 0:04:26.080 don't know anyone unless something really, really bad has happened. 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:29.200 But in a serious relationship, it's a big, serious decision. 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:31.039 It's like people that I know that have moved overseas, 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.839 they always have this questionable you know, am I doing 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:36.520 the right thing? And I kind of felt like this 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:38.320 for this. Even though I'd gone through the journey and 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.320 I'd thought, no, we do want to have them, I 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.120 still have this fear in the back of my mind 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.320 that well, what if when we do feel pregnant, if 0:04:45.360 --> 0:04:49.560 we have the privilege of being able to that. I 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:53.039 don't want to be pregnant and I'm not happy. And 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:56.520 so we had planned to start trying later this year. 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:00.360 I was actually booked in for a laproscopy I think 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.720 that's how you say it, in the middle of May. 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:04.880 So my plan was to kind of do the I 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:08.240 was booked in to do the London Marathon, then have 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:11.719 a laproscopy, and then after that start thinking about kids 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:15.200 I have had. And sorry, this is probably a bit 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.039 too TMI, but my husband and I and for my 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.480 whole and this is not advice for anyone, you should 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.440 not do this, but I have been having unprotected sex 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:25.479 for a very long time, and I've never had a 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:30.320 pregnancy scare for ten years, and so I had spoken 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:33.360 to a gynecologist about it and she had said, look, 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.880 I also think I have endometriosis. So she's like, look, 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:38.599 we can do a laproscopy. We'll go in and have 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.560 a look for endo, and then also just see what's 0:05:40.600 --> 0:05:43.520 going on, because if you have had unprotected sex in 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:46.479 your population period for that long, there might be something 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.080 you know, we don't know. So I had had that 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.720 booked in. I was planning training for the marathon, and 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:56.880 then all of a sudden, I missed. My period has 0:05:56.880 --> 0:06:00.159 always been very regular, and I think that's as well. 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.239 I've never had a pregnancy scare in my life because 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:04.039 it comes, you know, the kind of I have a 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.720 twenty seven to twenty eight day cycle, so it's always come, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:10.360 and I get quite bad period pain, and I've been 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:13.200 doing all these different things to try and navigate the 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:17.680 pain and how to reduce it. And I got I 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:20.760 had a little bit of blood, and I thought, oh, 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:25.040 no pain, I have cured period pain, which I had 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.320 not not. But I was like, oh, this stuff mu's 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.560 been working anyway. And then I ended up the next 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:32.680 then nothing else kind of came and I thought, oh, 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.719 maybe I also used to have a really heavy period, 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:40.840 so maybe I've also fixed that, which obviously not. And 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:43.919 so we did a pregnancy test the next day. My 0:06:43.960 --> 0:06:46.240 husband was so funny. He was like, Laura, I think 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:48.520 you're pregnant. And I was like, we can't be pregnant. 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.360 Like we literally had had sex once the month before. 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.880 I was like, it was a morning quickie, like it 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.599 was very sorry ta am I it was. So I 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.680 was like, there's no way, no way. And we did 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:04.240 the test and it my husband actually was still in 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:06.560 the shower because I was like, honey, I'm not pregnant. 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:09.720 There's you know, turn the test around and I was like, 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:15.080 oh my goodness, we're pregnant. I'm pregnant. And it was 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:17.680 such a shock, and it definitely wasn't one of those 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:20.000 I'd seen so many videos on Instagram where people have 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:23.040 found out they're pregnant and they you know, are crying 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.280 and their partners crying and they're really happy. And it 0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.640 wasn't in any way that I wasn't grateful, I wasn't happy. 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:32.480 I was just in complete shock. So I actually didn't 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.200 get emotional at all. I think until I told Steph 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:38.600 about five days later, and her reaction was so beautiful. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.320 She was sobbing, and it made me. Then I was like, oh, 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.800 it kind of hit me that you know it's happening, 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:47.240 and I actually was. I was grateful. I feel really 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.360 happy because that was yeah, as I said, kind of 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:50.880 a fear that I had, I didn't know how I 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.680 would feel, But I do feel really happy. 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.480 I can only imagine what a surprise it was, because 0:07:57.520 --> 0:07:59.880 every component that you've said there, there was really no 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:02.800 reason that you would have thought. You're thinking, I've been 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:04.720 solving my period. 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.400 Pain and solving the heavy periods. 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:11.160 You were preparing for a marathon, the London Marathon. Now 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:15.520 you're obviously preparing for a marathon of a whole other kind. Laura, 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:20.000 you are entering your second trimester as we speak. How 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:23.640 are you feeling now you've had some weeks for you 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.400 and your husband to process it. 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:29.480 Oh, it feels it feels really exciting now. The first 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:33.439 trimester for me, I actually had about six weeks where 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:38.200 I felt really depressed and it was I was talking 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.360 to I can laugh about it, and now obviously feeling 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:42.840 depression is it's not something that's funny at all. But 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.280 I had a catch up with Mish from Shameless, and 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:48.480 she was actually about to have her baby the next day. Now, 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:50.679 obviously we both were not drinking alcohol. We're in a 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:54.800 wineber and I said to her, Oh, did you feel 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:57.559 so depressed in the first trimester, Like is that and 0:08:57.880 --> 0:08:59.640 she just looked. I said, I've just I felt so 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.920 down and must be normal though, and she just looked 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:05.920 at me and she was like no. And then it 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:07.920 was nice like she didn't want to be she didn't 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:11.040 want to lie to me, of course, but I was like, oh, okay, 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.160 that's interesting. I thought everyone kind of felt that way. 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.800 But I do think that thinking that everyone felt that 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:19.079 way was helpful in the time. And I just felt 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:23.920 really not like myself. I had no motivation to do anything, 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.480 even it sounds so ridiculous, but even to charge my phone, 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:30.040 Like I just was like, I had no motivation. No, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.280 I didn't exercise. The only thing that was kind of 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.120 getting me through that time was going to work or 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:36.840 if I found I was really busy in the day, 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:38.440 it would take my mind off it. And then I 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:41.599 just felt really kind of numb for the rest of 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.360 the time, which for me is someone who usually feels 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:49.920 quite happy and motivated. Was quite confronting. But what I 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:53.480 was very grateful for was that I in my mind 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.200 it was separated from being pregnant, so it didn't feel 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:59.800 like I'm depressed because I'm pregnant. It was like, no, 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:03.240 I'm maybe this is obviously just the crazy hormone increase 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:05.600 that you've never like, if you haven't been pregnant, you 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:09.720 will never have gone through before. And I'm very grateful 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:13.520 that that's now passed. And I think the other thing 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:19.400 that really surprised me is the anxiety around if the 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:22.199 child is okay. Because in the first trimester you have 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.240 a few scans. It's amazing, Like in talking to my 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.400 mom about when she had me and how different I 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.199 think she said she had one scan for her entire pregnancy, 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:35.200 but we're so lucky now there's so many. But you 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.200 can't feel the baby until I'm not sure, maybe twenty 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.360 weeks or something. So there's this feeling of and there's 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:43.520 so much information out there and things you should and 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:45.439 you shouldn't be eating and you have to worry about 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:48.600 and so that actually really surprised me. I didn't think 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:51.800 I would have any anxiety around that. But I did, 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:54.280 and I think now that I'm in the second trimester, 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:58.160 I'm feeling a lot better and we're just feeling really, yeah, 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:00.600 really excited. And it's been beautiful as well to see 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:04.560 my husband kind of go through the journey as well 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:09.880 and just how happy and excited he is, And yeah, 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:11.280 it's been it's really special. 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:15.400 I really love also, Laura, that you have been so 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:19.440 candid about the rollercoaster of emotions and when you were 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:24.200 talking about how you told Michelle, I've been feeling this way, 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:26.760 what about you? And she hadn't had that experience. There 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.280 will be so many women listening that will feel that way, 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:35.720 and I know that here today that will really resonate 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:38.200 with a lot of people. But every part of your 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.080 life that you have chosen to share with your audience 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:44.440 and your followers, and obviously that's a huge part of 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:49.080 the Kick brand. It really is great for women to 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.800 be seen whatever their experience is, whether it's your experience, 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:56.320 or whether it's how your co founder, Steph Claire Smith 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:58.760 feels about things, or whether it is then other women 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:03.280 that you're working with in the wider industry, like Michelle Andrews. 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:08.080 The more variety of experiences we have, the more likely 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:11.880 everyone's going to feel a little bit less alone and isolated. 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:16.000 So I love that that candor and that ambiguity that 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:18.800 you've been so honest about it doesn't go away. I mean, 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.960 life is complex and messy and it's still it's always 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:23.200 the best of times. 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:25.040 And that doesn't mean that it looks perfect and is 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:26.160 wrapped up with a little bow. 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.400 No, So thank you. That means a lot, and it's 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.920 so true. I think that's something that I go through 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:35.959 roller coasters with social media and my I mean, I've 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:39.079 been doing it now for well Kick is this We're 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.520 going into our tenth year for Kick, and so I've 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:44.680 been doing social media maybe three years before that, so 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:48.280 thirteen years of sharing my life online and also sharing 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:51.400 a lot of content of obviously, if you build a 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:55.040 personal brand, the content is of you. And so I think, 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.000 and I know a lot of people go through this. 0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.480 You kind of go through stages where you feel like 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.079 what is this for? Like is this just this platform 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:05.080 where I'm not a narcissist per se, but it's just 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:07.480 about me? And it's like all these photos and videos 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:10.959 of me? And I think something that I find when 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.280 I do go through that is when I'm then able 0:13:13.320 --> 0:13:16.400 to use my platform to be able to help. If 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:19.280 I can help one person feel not alone in what 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.679 they're going through, then it's it's worth it. 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:22.640 Absolutely. 0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:25.839 That is definitely social media at its best. And on 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:31.160 that note, Laura, announcing this news this week, there's obviously 0:13:31.240 --> 0:13:35.720 going to be huge outpouring of support and that response 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:38.680 that you had from Steph for instance, You're probably going 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.600 to see that and feel that being replicated from loved ones, 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.600 people that in your circle who don't know the news yet, 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.480 but also of course people that have never met you. 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:52.400 The quintessential parasocial relationship, but people that will really feel 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:52.960 for you. 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:56.400 It's hard for me to ask you. I suppose to preempt. 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:58.600 That, but I would still be curious to know how 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.760 you're feeling about that. But also the flip side of 0:14:01.800 --> 0:14:05.200 that and that parasocial relationship, Laura, which is something that 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:07.600 I know you've spoken about in the past, which is 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.120 you've also had to deal with people asking, oh, are 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.640 you pregnant? And I know you've called that as being 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.640 a really inappropriate question, And of course how you're feeling 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:19.960 about the outpouring of. 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:24.960 Love but also probably unsolicited but well meaning but still 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:28.920 not necessarily wanted advice that will be coming your way 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:30.040 over the coming weeks. 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:32.800 Yes, And I mean I know from Steph and other 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.800 mothers that I speak to, the unsolicited advice around motherhood 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.880 is absolutely crazy. I think for me, it's interesting. I'm 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.880 really excited to announce it and share it with people, 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:47.240 but I think I also have a fear inside me 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.160 when I share it and then I'm letting people down 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:53.240 because I think last year what I found was in 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:56.280 doing the miniseries and navigating that a lot of people 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:58.600 that also kind of followed the journey with me and 0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:01.800 made a decision decided not to have children. And obviously 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:03.960 it's my have to remember it's my life and I 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.080 need to decide for myself what I want to do. 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:08.480 I mean, that's what the miniseries kind of came down to, 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:10.600 and making this huge decision. You have to make it 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:12.600 for yourself. You can't make it for anyone else. But 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:18.040 I think, and I know, as someone who didn't know 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.200 if they want to have children and wasn't ready to 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.840 have children, that I and I've had this with some 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.720 friends that I've told, and I totally understand. There's friends 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.840 that are very maternal and like Steph for example, that 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.520 was so excited and I was so grateful for that. 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:35.520 But then there's also people that I think was me, 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:37.920 Like last year when my friends were telling me they 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:42.720 were pregnant. It's almost this feeling of grieving a friendship 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.960 that you know is going to change and they're not 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:48.200 in the same stage as you because they either might 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:51.760 not want to have kids or they're not ready. And 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.080 so I think that for me is something that I'm 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:56.520 really conscious of in the announcement, is for the people 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.120 that decided maybe they didn't want to have kids and 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:02.680 felt that maybe they related to me because of the miniseries, 0:16:03.160 --> 0:16:06.760 that this could be something that they feel disconnected from 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:09.320 me from and I meaning there's nothing we can we 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:11.160 can do about that, right, It just it is what 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:13.640 it is. But I do feel that, and I think 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:16.600 I in there when I've told people you kind of 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.560 have well maybe three reactions per se. There's the ones 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:21.200 that are people that are really happy that have kids 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.120 and are like, welcome to the club. I'm so excited, 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.680 Like Steph was like, it's so funny. She always text 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:29.080 me about baby stuff and I always try to reply 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.280 like in an understanding way, but she's like, you just 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.880 don't get it, you know, and I was like, I 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:37.640 totally I don't know. I don't have kids. And then 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.320 there's there's the group of people that maybe don't want 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.280 to have kids, aren't ready that it's like that grief 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:46.480 of grieving of a friendship. And then there's which I 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:49.880 think it's interesting, I think it that doesn't necessarily have 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.760 to happen. I think that's something that I went through 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.840 last year and that you know, I don't It's totally 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:58.560 fine for people that want to make motherhood their entire identity, 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.080 but for me, I think that that actually wouldn't be 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.320 serving myself. And then the third group of people is 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:07.119 the people that have tried really hard to have children 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.720 and then haven't been able to and that kind of 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.399 that feeling of you know, you know, they're so happy 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.240 for you, but they also it's heartbreaking every single time 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:20.680 they find out that someone is pregnant, and so that's 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:23.440 probably how I'm feeling about announcing. And then in terms 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:28.119 of the unsolicited stuff that comes through, I mean, I 0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:30.560 think that the biggest one, as you said, is when 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:34.199 people had said to me, are you pregnant? And that 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:36.679 was actually to do with the way that my body looked. 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:39.159 And I got a few messages saying like, oh, you know, 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:42.280 you've got a little pot beally, and I just it 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.399 just made me think, like, are you pregnant or you know, 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:47.400 I probably shouldn't think this, but I wanted to send 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:49.399 the message through. And I think if you're ever going 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:53.119 to write to someone, I probably shouldn't think this, but 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:55.200 I just wanted to send it through. Like I think 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:58.399 it's probably a time not to send that through. 0:17:58.640 --> 0:17:59.919 Listen to your first instinct. 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.480 Exactly right, exactly right. And as you said, it's a 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:05.479 question that we should not ask women. We should never 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:08.200 assume you never know what anyone is going through behind 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.640 the scenes. But I think it is with social media. 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:15.200 I've actually I've got a lot better at not taking 0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:18.560 on other people's stuff, Like I'm able to separate myself 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:20.399 from that, which has taken quite a long time, but 0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:23.680 I think after quite a long time on the platform 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:25.720 it does get a little bit easier. 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:30.040 Laura really found what you said so interesting. I can 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:34.159 feel the genuine empathy knowing how your news might affect 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:39.480 different people. And I was thinking about a parallel in 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:44.000 the culture which the risk of hopefully not sounding flippant 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:46.840 here with Sex and the City, and of course it's 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.680 spin off and just like that. But obviously Sarah Jessica 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:55.199 Parker's character was a quintessential single girl, Carrie Bradshaw, and 0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.399 then at the end of the original Sex and the 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:01.919 City series, she famously ended up coupling up with the 0:19:02.000 --> 0:19:03.959 character of Big and then at the end of it 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.800 some women felt betrayed that she then had ended up 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.800 coupled up. I wonder if what you think about that 0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:13.560 as sort of a similar parallel. In some ways, someone 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:17.600 like you is feeling this responsibility because you had gone 0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:21.120 public and been generous with that ambiguity with the series. 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.320 Do I want kids that you're clearly feeling a sense 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:28.840 I think of misplaced responsibility for what it's worth or 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.840 not misplaced. But I don't think you're letting anyone down. 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:35.399 Do you think that comparison. Does that resonate with you 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:35.800 at all? 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:39.320 I think that's such a great parallel, and it's very true. 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:41.960 I think sometimes that and this is something that I've 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:46.320 got a lot better at navigating. And I think also 0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:49.840 society as a whole, like especially on socials, has got 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:53.200 better at navigating on social media, and that is that 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:56.480 people can change their mind. I think for a very 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:58.879 long time I lived in fear, and I think it 0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:01.440 did hold me back a lot from speaking up and 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:03.520 you know, speaking my mind and standing up for what 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:06.680 I believed in, because there was always this fear of well, 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:08.520 what if I change my mind in three years? What 0:20:08.560 --> 0:20:10.280 if I change my mind in you know, two years, 0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:12.840 five years, whatever it might be. And then someone pulls 0:20:12.840 --> 0:20:15.479 this clip up and says that you're a liar and 0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:19.199 you're inauthentic. And for me, with building my like my 0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.080 personal brand, being authentic is one of the most important 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.920 things to me, and so that was such a fear. 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:27.240 I think work I can't speak up about anything because 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:29.679 what if? What if I change my mind or what 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.920 if I get it wrong? And I think something that 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.440 we've got a lot better at as a society is 0:20:36.119 --> 0:20:38.840 allowing people's space to change their mind. And I think 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.080 for me, I know that we only know what we know, 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:43.840 and so if I feel with what I know right now, 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:46.119 I want to speak about something and or you know, 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:51.359 have a thought or an opinion on something like that's okay, 0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:53.320 And in five years I might know so much more. 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:55.879 I might experience more and if that changes, like, that's 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.320 that's good. Right, Like we if we're like from to say, 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:01.080 from the age of two while but whatever it is, 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:04.160 if we held exactly the same opinions for the rest 0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:09.160 of our lives, what a shallow life we would have, right, 0:21:09.800 --> 0:21:12.240 So I think for me, that's something that really helps 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:16.640 with that feeling of responsibility for what you kind of Yeah, 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:18.399 what you explained and it's so true. 0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:23.760 And up next, Laura on taking on the Manisphere, her 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:27.840 maternity leave plans and why she's scared for women's bodies. 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:33.240 You recently made a lot of headlines. The clip went viral. 0:21:34.080 --> 0:21:39.440 Australian podcaster Chris Griffin was on his podcast was talking 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:43.679 about what he perceives as the ideal relationship in a 0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:47.960 heterosexual dynamic that men go off to work and conquer 0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:50.320 the world and the women stay at home so when 0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:51.720 he gets home, they're there to go. 0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:54.080 Yes, I had a wonderful day. I've been waiting for 0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:55.920 you to come home, he said. 0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:58.720 A man that's got a busy life that's chasing his dreams, 0:21:58.760 --> 0:22:02.119 you know, really needs that harmony of the stay at 0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:06.280 home girlfriend or wife. Laura, you called this out for 0:22:06.520 --> 0:22:08.040 look obviously you can tell from my. 0:22:08.080 --> 0:22:09.560 Tone what I think about him. 0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:12.160 You called it out, I got a huge response. 0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:12.480 I know. 0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:14.280 Tell me a little bit about that. 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:17.280 When you first saw that, you were obviously very fired up. 0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:20.439 Was there a moment that you thought, do I speak 0:22:20.560 --> 0:22:24.000 up about this or not? Because you're not only taking 0:22:24.160 --> 0:22:26.679 on a big topic, you know that you're going to 0:22:26.720 --> 0:22:29.480 have the Manisphere coming for you as well. 0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:32.960 Yeah, I mean yeah. When I saw the video, so 0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:36.040 Steph actually sent it to me in the morning and 0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:40.479 I watched it, and I just felt this combination of 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:45.680 kind of rage and also like what the like, what 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:48.440 the heck is going on here? Like how was this content? 0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:50.199 Because for me, in my algorithm, I think that's the 0:22:50.200 --> 0:22:53.199 scariest thing with social media. And now, in all the 0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:55.600 research that I have done over the past few weeks, 0:22:56.640 --> 0:22:59.000 I have found out that the Manisphere content is actually 0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:02.280 in our mainstream. That's really scary. But it hadn't hit 0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:05.080 my algorithm. It's obviously not what I'm interested in watching, 0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:08.920 nor an opinion that I align with. So I got 0:23:08.920 --> 0:23:10.760 the video and I just thought, oh my goodness. And 0:23:10.760 --> 0:23:14.480 then over the day I thought, I think the first 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:16.919 thing you kind of feel is defeat in like we 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:19.880 have come. So now we are not in equal society 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:22.200 in any way from a gender perspective. We've got such 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:24.960 a long way to go, but we are getting closer, right, 0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:27.000 We are making progress. I know it's slow, but we 0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:31.040 are making it. And so when you see content like that, 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:34.200 especially from a don't I can't. I don't know exactly 0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:35.959 how old he is twenty one, twenty two, twenty three 0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:39.600 year old male that isn't in a relationship talking to 0:23:39.640 --> 0:23:42.199 another male of the same age or similar age that 0:23:42.280 --> 0:23:47.359 also is in a relationship, hasn't experienced, you know, having children. 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:48.840 I don't know if he does well. Actually, he has 0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:51.439 said he wants to have children, because he said that 0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:54.800 he wouldn't want a stranger to raise his children. So 0:23:54.880 --> 0:23:57.480 the expectation is that, and of course he doesn't. He 0:23:57.520 --> 0:23:59.159 won't do it because he's going to go to work. 0:23:59.640 --> 0:24:01.479 So he expects his partner to be able to do 0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:04.439 that as her role in this kind of traditional gender 0:24:04.760 --> 0:24:09.040 roles that he is pushing. And I just felt defeated, 0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:11.680 Like goodness me this content. I was reading through the 0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:14.000 comments and there was no comments pushing Maybe there was 0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:16.280 one pushing back on him. The rest of it was like, Wow, 0:24:16.359 --> 0:24:20.600 you're amazing, and I just thought this is insane. And 0:24:20.640 --> 0:24:22.159 so I thought about it through the day, and I 0:24:22.960 --> 0:24:25.679 think the first thing, I'm very conscious of calling people. 0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:28.800 I really tried to call him in. I don't think 0:24:28.800 --> 0:24:31.320 I've ever tagged someone on my story and said like 0:24:31.400 --> 0:24:35.040 this is not good enough. But the way that I felt, 0:24:35.080 --> 0:24:37.879 I think for me as well with pushing the fact 0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:41.000 that in the content, and I did listen to the 0:24:41.000 --> 0:24:43.000 full episode, I'm very conscious that you don't want to 0:24:43.480 --> 0:24:46.439 make a judgment on a one minute video. So I 0:24:46.480 --> 0:24:48.679 listened to the full one hour and forty five minutes, 0:24:48.720 --> 0:24:51.399 and it was, in my opinion, was worse than the 0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:53.800 clip in terms of that the theme was throughout the 0:24:53.840 --> 0:24:57.000 whole thing. It was not just that one clip. And 0:24:57.080 --> 0:25:00.000 for me, as someone who grew up in a household 0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:03.080 where my parents separated when I was twelve, my mum 0:25:03.200 --> 0:25:05.800 was not working full time, she did not have super 0:25:05.920 --> 0:25:10.240 it was invested in something else between my parents, and 0:25:10.280 --> 0:25:12.520 then had to go out and find a full time 0:25:12.640 --> 0:25:17.439 job and be a single mum. I have kind of 0:25:17.520 --> 0:25:21.720 experienced firsthand what happens when you kind of have these 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:25.000 traditional gender roles at home. You don't have the conversations 0:25:25.040 --> 0:25:29.399 about finances, their ears. And I think within my parents, 0:25:29.400 --> 0:25:31.320 they you know, they do they did the best they can. 0:25:31.359 --> 0:25:33.720 I always it's so important. I always remember that they 0:25:33.760 --> 0:25:36.280 were parents for the first time, right, But there was 0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:39.960 unintended equality within that relationship, and so I have seen 0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:43.160 what happens. We know that women retire with way less 0:25:43.160 --> 0:25:45.959 super than men. We have a huge super gap. We 0:25:46.000 --> 0:25:48.480 know that women, when they take time off to raise children, 0:25:48.520 --> 0:25:50.679 if that's the expectation within their household and that's what 0:25:50.720 --> 0:25:54.680 they want to do, they don't. It's very it's very 0:25:54.760 --> 0:25:57.080 rare for their partner to contribute to their super They 0:25:57.080 --> 0:25:59.240 don't get paid for that. It's we know that motherhood 0:25:59.320 --> 0:26:04.600 is one of the most undervalued jobs in society. And 0:26:05.359 --> 0:26:07.320 so as the more I thought about it, I just 0:26:07.359 --> 0:26:10.240 thought this message is so dangerous because the other thing 0:26:10.320 --> 0:26:13.760 is this video was in this beautifully litz studio. It 0:26:13.880 --> 0:26:17.440 had this violin music or piano whatever it was behind it, 0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:20.560 and so it made it seem like it was motivational, 0:26:20.640 --> 0:26:22.480 like this is the life that you want to live, 0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:24.200 This is you know, you need to follow this person. 0:26:24.240 --> 0:26:26.000 And I was like, you know what, that's it I'm 0:26:26.000 --> 0:26:28.440 going to talk about this, and I was really conscious 0:26:28.600 --> 0:26:31.200 I wanted to make sure I didn't say anything about 0:26:31.320 --> 0:26:34.719 Chris's character. It was about the actions and those words 0:26:34.720 --> 0:26:37.120 that he said, and tried to call him in to say, hey, 0:26:37.359 --> 0:26:39.560 let's have a conversation about this. How do we because 0:26:39.560 --> 0:26:43.280 he's obviously got a huge audience that are influenced by 0:26:43.600 --> 0:26:47.840 the way that he speaks the content that he does. Unfortunately, 0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:52.919 he did not respond in wanting to have a conversation. 0:26:53.720 --> 0:26:56.720 He did invite me to come on his podcast, but 0:26:57.240 --> 0:26:59.720 with his responses that he kind of had come back 0:26:59.760 --> 0:27:02.199 to me with online, I just didn't think it was 0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:05.280 going to be a productive conversation. He called himself a 0:27:05.320 --> 0:27:08.719 brick wall, and me and kind of the army that 0:27:08.800 --> 0:27:11.399 he in quotation marks of people that were standing up 0:27:11.400 --> 0:27:15.080 against him, which were mainly like amazing high profile women 0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:18.360 in the media and really just women generally that were 0:27:18.400 --> 0:27:23.520 so enraged that we were marshmallows. And I think this limiting, 0:27:23.640 --> 0:27:28.440 this limiting view of women is so so dangerous and 0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:31.119 we know now and in we actually I ended up 0:27:31.160 --> 0:27:33.600 doing a mini series on it that's just come out 0:27:33.640 --> 0:27:36.919 this week called Mi Equal. Was really important for me 0:27:36.960 --> 0:27:40.639 to do, because I think what's important if people do 0:27:40.720 --> 0:27:43.280 want to stay home, like in a heterosexual relationship, if 0:27:43.320 --> 0:27:45.400 the wife does want to stay home, or either parent 0:27:45.400 --> 0:27:47.960 wants to stay home, that is there is no judgment 0:27:47.960 --> 0:27:50.359 on that. That is absolutely fine, But they need to 0:27:50.400 --> 0:27:53.000 have all of the information. They need to have the 0:27:53.040 --> 0:27:56.680 conversations with their partner. They need to have financial control together. 0:27:56.880 --> 0:27:59.280 Not one person has financial control and then the other 0:27:59.320 --> 0:28:02.159 one is like, oh, it'll be fine, because you actually 0:28:02.200 --> 0:28:05.560 don't know if it's going to be fine, right, And 0:28:05.640 --> 0:28:07.840 so yeah, that was why it was really important for 0:28:07.880 --> 0:28:10.399 me to talk about it, because it's just something that 0:28:10.480 --> 0:28:13.480 if one person could listen to that and have a 0:28:13.520 --> 0:28:15.639 conversation and go home and have a conversation with their 0:28:15.680 --> 0:28:18.240 partner about, hey, actually i'm about to take two years 0:28:18.280 --> 0:28:20.639 off or nine months off, whatever it is. Could we 0:28:20.760 --> 0:28:23.520 jointly contribute to my super or you need to keep 0:28:23.520 --> 0:28:25.560 me up to date with the finances. I think as women, 0:28:25.640 --> 0:28:28.600 we often think that we're not good at finances. We 0:28:28.600 --> 0:28:30.520 don't have the confidence in it, we don't have the 0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:34.080 financial literacy, and that's something that a man does, and 0:28:34.119 --> 0:28:36.960 therefore we give all of that responsibility to him. That's 0:28:37.080 --> 0:28:40.160 also really dangerous for men as well to hold all 0:28:40.240 --> 0:28:43.440 of that responsibility on their shoulders. So yeah, it was 0:28:43.480 --> 0:28:46.440 a really important conversation for I think to have. 0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:50.920 Laura, what has been the response from your audience so far? Too? 0:28:51.560 --> 0:28:52.400 Am I equal? 0:28:52.520 --> 0:28:55.080 And the issues that you're canvassing there and that you 0:28:55.240 --> 0:29:00.280 also touched upon when you were responding to Chris's podcast, because, 0:29:00.720 --> 0:29:03.479 as you said, his commentary is packaged up in a 0:29:03.480 --> 0:29:06.280 certain way to the manisperit saying this is what a 0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:09.400 real man does, is done in a very strong this 0:29:09.520 --> 0:29:13.480 is what strong means. But for women, especially younger women 0:29:13.960 --> 0:29:18.640 jen Z and millennial women, we've seen hashtag trad wife, 0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:22.520 hashtag stay at home girlfriend. It's also a message that's 0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:26.880 been incredibly palatable and marketed in a very savvy way 0:29:27.280 --> 0:29:31.040 to young women, many of whom would be consuming your content. 0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:35.240 So what's the response been from them? They receptive to 0:29:36.200 --> 0:29:41.240 the conversation about how things might look right now might 0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:43.840 not be how it plays out when you're in your 0:29:43.920 --> 0:29:45.360 late fifties and sixties. 0:29:46.640 --> 0:29:48.840 Absolutely, I think as well, it's important to note with 0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:51.920 the tradwife content is stayed home girlfriends. I have no 0:29:52.440 --> 0:29:57.160 that trend. I struggled with so much because that period 0:29:57.280 --> 0:30:00.640 of our lives as women, as people in building careers 0:30:00.760 --> 0:30:05.080 is so incredibly important and fundamental to build the foundation. 0:30:05.200 --> 0:30:07.120 So we have that stability, build the skills. So we 0:30:07.160 --> 0:30:10.320 have this stability down the track in terms of trad wife, 0:30:10.360 --> 0:30:12.360 and I suppose with tradwives we usually see that they 0:30:12.400 --> 0:30:15.400 do have children. I think what's really scary with that 0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:19.240 content is it is so glamorized. It looks amazing, you know. 0:30:19.320 --> 0:30:22.240 And the thing is, these content creators, if you're creating 0:30:22.240 --> 0:30:24.440 content all day, you are you have a job. Right. 0:30:24.480 --> 0:30:27.000 So they're kind of showcasing it that they don't work, 0:30:27.040 --> 0:30:29.280 but they really do because being a content creator is 0:30:29.280 --> 0:30:31.280 a job in itself, and it looks. So they wear 0:30:31.320 --> 0:30:34.720 beautiful clothing, the cleaning looks lovely, the cooking looks lovely. 0:30:34.720 --> 0:30:37.280 They look after their husband, all of these things. You 0:30:37.400 --> 0:30:40.200 only see one percent of someone's life on social media, right, 0:30:40.240 --> 0:30:43.320 So I think that's so important to acknowledge. I think 0:30:43.360 --> 0:30:46.440 what's been really special in the response has just been 0:30:46.680 --> 0:30:50.239 the amount of women that have reached out that have 0:30:50.360 --> 0:30:52.720 either had this happen with their parents or it's happened 0:30:52.720 --> 0:30:56.040 to them. I've had so many conversations with women who 0:30:56.240 --> 0:31:00.479 devastatingly have been in relationships where they're past And this 0:31:00.520 --> 0:31:02.360 is why as well this piece of content, I wanted 0:31:02.400 --> 0:31:05.400 to call it out in terms of it being benevolent 0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:09.640 sexism in that it's control disguised as care. If they 0:31:09.680 --> 0:31:12.800 say this is really loving, this is you know, they're 0:31:12.840 --> 0:31:15.080 doing it because it's loving. They want to look after you, 0:31:15.080 --> 0:31:16.840 you want they want you to be in your feminine 0:31:16.880 --> 0:31:19.000 whatever the heck that means. They want you to have freedom. 0:31:19.320 --> 0:31:22.480 There is no such thing as freedom. If it is 0:31:22.560 --> 0:31:25.320 dictated how you need to be, that is not free, right, 0:31:26.200 --> 0:31:29.480 And so what was really really incredible to see was 0:31:29.520 --> 0:31:32.120 people kind of also the amount of women that sat 0:31:32.240 --> 0:31:34.240 that reached out to me and said that they had 0:31:34.240 --> 0:31:38.000 either like thank you for sharing this, or devastatingly they 0:31:38.000 --> 0:31:40.760 had been through it because their partner said they cared 0:31:41.160 --> 0:31:43.360 about them, they didn't want them to work, and now 0:31:43.440 --> 0:31:46.800 they're a single parent, they're in a lot of debt, 0:31:47.040 --> 0:31:50.160 they're struggling, they're living on Centrelink, and they wish they 0:31:50.200 --> 0:31:52.880 had have known and they had kind of had those conversations. 0:31:52.920 --> 0:31:56.840 And so that's been really really nice to be able 0:31:56.880 --> 0:31:58.800 to I suppose speak to them and for them to 0:31:58.840 --> 0:32:03.080 feel empowered by the conversations now being more mainstream. I 0:32:03.080 --> 0:32:04.719 think the other thing I have had is I've had 0:32:04.760 --> 0:32:08.120 quite a few conversations with stay at home mums who 0:32:08.120 --> 0:32:11.120 have felt that the content was very judgmental towards them 0:32:12.400 --> 0:32:15.560 and for me, I have most of them I've written 0:32:15.600 --> 0:32:17.479 back to and had a conversation with it. It's been 0:32:17.520 --> 0:32:19.600 a handful of people, and that was why in the 0:32:19.600 --> 0:32:22.440 mini series it was very important that we spoke about 0:32:22.440 --> 0:32:25.040 the fact that and my opinion is there is nothing 0:32:25.080 --> 0:32:28.040 wrong with there's no right or wrong right. Every single 0:32:28.080 --> 0:32:31.360 person knows what's right for their family. It's their decision, 0:32:31.440 --> 0:32:35.720 but it's making an informed decision that is really important, 0:32:35.760 --> 0:32:40.000 and not glamorizing traditional gender roles in a way that 0:32:40.120 --> 0:32:42.640 makes it seem like so loving and caring when a 0:32:42.680 --> 0:32:44.760 lot of the time there is so much, even if 0:32:44.800 --> 0:32:48.360 it's not intended, unintended inequality within those relationships. 0:32:49.560 --> 0:32:53.720 Laura, you are the CEO of Kick, Your co founder 0:32:54.040 --> 0:32:57.800 and kickpod co host step who we've just spoken about, 0:32:58.120 --> 0:33:02.200 has recently had a baby of her own, so she's 0:33:02.520 --> 0:33:05.920 got quite a brute Now. I know a conversation that 0:33:06.000 --> 0:33:09.280 you had on your own podcast was is she taking 0:33:10.600 --> 0:33:13.400 maternity leave parentally? What does that look like when you're 0:33:13.440 --> 0:33:17.200 running your own business? How are you looking ahead to 0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:20.800 the months ahead for our audience, will you be taking 0:33:20.840 --> 0:33:23.520 parental leave? And how on this early stage are you 0:33:23.600 --> 0:33:26.720 and your husband thinking that that balance and all of 0:33:26.720 --> 0:33:29.360 the things that you've just talked about, how that will 0:33:29.360 --> 0:33:32.160 be playing out in your household potentially. I mean, is 0:33:32.240 --> 0:33:34.000 any much of any of us can predict? 0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:36.600 Of course, of course, yeah, that's one thing, isn't it. 0:33:36.600 --> 0:33:37.840 But I said this is that I'm going to do 0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:39.600 in it, and my friend's like, you just wait, you 0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:41.560 never know what's going to happen. But anyway, I'll play 0:33:41.560 --> 0:33:43.680 it back to you in a year exactly. And I'm 0:33:43.720 --> 0:33:45.880 type A. I have to plan things otherwise it gives 0:33:45.920 --> 0:33:48.320 me so much anxiety to not know. So something that's 0:33:48.360 --> 0:33:50.680 always been very important to me in conversations that I've 0:33:50.760 --> 0:33:53.440 always had with my husband since we've spoken about children, 0:33:53.520 --> 0:33:56.200 is that we will share the load. In no way 0:33:56.320 --> 0:33:58.760 is there an expectation that I would stay home and 0:33:59.080 --> 0:34:02.200 bear child look after the children, and he would go 0:34:02.280 --> 0:34:04.520 to work. We both run our own businesses, we both 0:34:04.560 --> 0:34:07.680 really care about them, and so making sure that we 0:34:07.760 --> 0:34:11.719 have an equal approach is very very important. Exactly how 0:34:11.719 --> 0:34:15.399 that will look, I'm not sure. I think my plan 0:34:15.440 --> 0:34:18.560 at the moment is to take to do take some 0:34:18.680 --> 0:34:22.200 time off. But I think something and this is on me, 0:34:22.320 --> 0:34:25.400 this is in no way there's my maternity leave that 0:34:25.440 --> 0:34:27.479 I'm able to take is the same as what Stef's taking. 0:34:27.520 --> 0:34:31.879 So STEP's taking three months out of the business. I mean, 0:34:31.880 --> 0:34:34.640 it's with this job. It's still like we're still for example, 0:34:34.680 --> 0:34:37.080 we recorded a podcast yesterday, like there's still things that 0:34:37.160 --> 0:34:39.759 you know, we come back for, but kind of out 0:34:39.800 --> 0:34:44.719 of the day to day for six months actually and 0:34:44.760 --> 0:34:47.319 then to kind of but after three months return to 0:34:47.640 --> 0:34:49.319 some of the other things that we do that aren't 0:34:49.400 --> 0:34:52.160 kind of operational in the business. I think for me, 0:34:52.760 --> 0:34:55.200 that's probably the plan that I have at the moment. 0:34:55.280 --> 0:35:00.960 But I do have a big fear of boredom and 0:35:01.400 --> 0:35:04.520 what how And I know when I say boredhom I 0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:06.360 know raising a child is the hardest thing ever. I 0:35:06.400 --> 0:35:07.920 know I don't have kids right now, and so any 0:35:08.440 --> 0:35:11.239 mum's listening and probably like you're crazy, but it's I 0:35:11.280 --> 0:35:12.879 know it's going to be so busy, but it's also 0:35:12.960 --> 0:35:15.360 a very different type of simulation. And I think for me, 0:35:15.520 --> 0:35:19.520 something that I and something that I probably really need 0:35:19.560 --> 0:35:22.840 to really work through and I have been trying to 0:35:22.880 --> 0:35:25.600 work through and knowing that this was coming up in 0:35:26.040 --> 0:35:28.080 taking a little bit of time off and having kids 0:35:28.200 --> 0:35:32.520 is I often will deal with things by just filling 0:35:32.520 --> 0:35:36.080 my entire calendar, you know, with ten hour days, and 0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:37.920 then I don't have to think about anything because by 0:35:37.960 --> 0:35:40.160 the time I come home, I'm so tired and I 0:35:40.239 --> 0:35:43.080 just I just go to bed. So even for example, 0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:46.759 in the first the six weeks where I felt really depressed, 0:35:47.400 --> 0:35:49.400 the way I was able to deal with that was 0:35:49.400 --> 0:35:52.640 filling my calendar. And so I know I'm not going 0:35:52.680 --> 0:35:55.560 to be able to do that when I have like 0:35:55.640 --> 0:35:59.080 when I when we have our kid, and so it's 0:35:59.080 --> 0:36:01.319 something that I'm I have to say, that's probably what 0:36:01.400 --> 0:36:05.080 I'm the most scared of. I'm really I don't know why. 0:36:05.239 --> 0:36:08.919 I've often like postnatal depression is really is obviously such 0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:12.040 a serious condition, it's so scary. I think it's something 0:36:12.080 --> 0:36:14.319 that I've always thought. I wonder if I feel like 0:36:14.360 --> 0:36:16.520 I have a lot of the trait the way that 0:36:16.560 --> 0:36:19.719 I think and things, and that I've tried to deal 0:36:19.760 --> 0:36:22.360 with things means that that might be something that I 0:36:22.400 --> 0:36:25.000 deal with. I mean, I don't know, but that's always 0:36:25.040 --> 0:36:26.879 been a fear of mine. And so I think, while 0:36:26.920 --> 0:36:29.920 I do plan to take that time off, if I 0:36:29.960 --> 0:36:32.520 am really struggling, I think I'm grateful that I am 0:36:32.560 --> 0:36:35.000 able to dip back into work earlier if I need 0:36:35.040 --> 0:36:37.880 to or pick more things up, which I know is 0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:40.480 a shocking I need to actually deal with the problem. 0:36:41.080 --> 0:36:43.280 Putting work on top of it is not the solution, 0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:46.560 but I like that I have that safety blanket that 0:36:46.600 --> 0:36:48.439 if I do want to come back earlier, I can. 0:36:49.239 --> 0:36:53.200 I think that you have got it all sorted out 0:36:53.239 --> 0:36:55.640 in a perfect way in that you've got some clear 0:36:55.680 --> 0:36:58.840 ideas about how you'd like things to play out a 0:36:58.920 --> 0:37:02.319 high degree of self awareness, and are prepared for the 0:37:02.440 --> 0:37:04.719 universe to do what it's going to do. I think 0:37:04.760 --> 0:37:07.279 that is you know, I don't necessarily believe in a 0:37:07.280 --> 0:37:09.440 birth plan, but I think in terms of an actual 0:37:09.480 --> 0:37:13.240 plan that is a rock solid one. Laura, I wanted 0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:16.120 to ask you a little bit about ten years, as 0:37:16.160 --> 0:37:18.799 I say, coming up with Kick and you are CEO, 0:37:19.160 --> 0:37:22.960 and when you're talking earlier about how people would slide 0:37:22.960 --> 0:37:24.839 into your DMS or message and say, Oh, I don't 0:37:24.840 --> 0:37:26.799 know if I should say this, but I mean I 0:37:26.840 --> 0:37:30.000 thought I noticed a little bump there. What that says 0:37:30.600 --> 0:37:35.640 about still, even in twenty twenty five, toxic diet culture, 0:37:35.760 --> 0:37:38.640 body shaming, the way that we still police our own 0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:40.440 bodies and those of other women. 0:37:41.320 --> 0:37:42.879 That's something that you've really. 0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:46.160 Stared down at KICK, you and Stephan being a big 0:37:46.200 --> 0:37:50.400 part of the conversation in terms of where the wider 0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:51.000 culture is. 0:37:51.000 --> 0:37:51.600 At the moment. 0:37:51.640 --> 0:37:55.440 We've seen the rise of skinny talk, for instance, in 0:37:55.520 --> 0:37:59.120 terms of those conversations that you're having at KICK, Do 0:37:59.239 --> 0:38:03.240 you have concerns about the progress that we've made going 0:38:03.280 --> 0:38:05.920 backwards in some of those areas. 0:38:06.680 --> 0:38:09.839 Oh? Absolutely, And I mean why we started KICK. Steph 0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:13.040 and I both went through our own experiences with disordered 0:38:13.120 --> 0:38:16.879 eating and binge eating, and we knew that. I think 0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:18.920 what's really difficult with the diet industry is we know 0:38:18.960 --> 0:38:20.680 that if you move your body and you eat well, 0:38:20.719 --> 0:38:23.560 and you're empowered with tools and feel confident enough to 0:38:23.800 --> 0:38:26.239 exercise and know how to because that's a privilege a 0:38:26.280 --> 0:38:28.640 lot of people. If you don't enjoy sport at school, 0:38:29.440 --> 0:38:31.800 sometimes you might not have actually ever done any activity, 0:38:31.840 --> 0:38:33.480 and then you get out of school or your twenties 0:38:33.560 --> 0:38:35.120 or whatever, and you want to move and you don't 0:38:35.160 --> 0:38:38.120 know how because it's really intimidating. It's a privilege to 0:38:38.160 --> 0:38:40.600 have access to that information. But I think what's really 0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:42.759 difficult is that a lot of it is packaged up 0:38:42.800 --> 0:38:46.680 in diet culture. And so with Kick, that's something that's 0:38:46.760 --> 0:38:49.080 why we started. It was to create a place and 0:38:49.120 --> 0:38:51.120 a tool where people could come and be empowered with 0:38:51.160 --> 0:38:53.399 those tools without the pressure to measure themselves or look 0:38:53.400 --> 0:38:56.920 a certain way. And we have, as you said, been 0:38:56.920 --> 0:38:59.840 on this journey now for ten years, which is so crazy. 0:39:00.760 --> 0:39:02.840 It feels like one hundred but also one at the 0:39:02.840 --> 0:39:07.080 same time. But I think what's really scary, and this 0:39:07.239 --> 0:39:09.759 is very much in line with you know, as you 0:39:09.760 --> 0:39:12.560 said skinny talk on TikTok, there's all of this pro 0:39:13.040 --> 0:39:16.600 ed content on there, which if someone watches a young 0:39:16.640 --> 0:39:19.600 person like a really when you're young and you're impressionable, 0:39:19.640 --> 0:39:21.799 it's I mean that was when I went through I 0:39:21.800 --> 0:39:24.040 was about nineteen when I went through my disordered eating. 0:39:25.120 --> 0:39:27.320 You have all this common sense, like even in school 0:39:27.320 --> 0:39:29.880 I did biology, I understood that I couldn't eat exactly 0:39:29.920 --> 0:39:32.200 like someone else and exercise like them and look like them, 0:39:32.239 --> 0:39:34.920 because it's literally impossible. But it goes out the window 0:39:35.000 --> 0:39:37.319 when you're in this comparison trap and thinking that you're 0:39:37.360 --> 0:39:40.560 not good enough. And so that's what's really scary with 0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:43.759 that content because if someone watches that that then then 0:39:43.800 --> 0:39:46.080 they serve them another video. Then the algorithm sends them 0:39:46.080 --> 0:39:48.719 another video, and then that becomes their entire feed. And 0:39:48.760 --> 0:39:50.520 if they're spending like a lot of us hours a 0:39:50.600 --> 0:39:54.080 day on TikTok and Instagram, that is so much time 0:39:54.520 --> 0:39:57.040 to be exposed to that message. And I think the 0:39:57.080 --> 0:40:00.799 other thing that's scary coupled with that is the rise 0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:05.640 of ozenpic. Now, with ozenpick, there are people that are 0:40:05.719 --> 0:40:08.240 using it and it is saving their life and there's 0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:11.080 a purpose, right, And I don't have any judgment on that. 0:40:11.160 --> 0:40:13.640 But the really dark side of ozeenpic that I'm really 0:40:13.680 --> 0:40:17.800 scared of is the people for society, is the people 0:40:17.800 --> 0:40:20.279 that are getting access to a zeenpic that are not 0:40:20.760 --> 0:40:23.600 in any way overweight or have a health condition that 0:40:24.080 --> 0:40:27.799 is impacted by the size of their body. And that 0:40:27.920 --> 0:40:30.040 is what is scary. I mean, we're seeing in Hollywood 0:40:30.080 --> 0:40:32.840 celebrities are getting skinnier and skinnier. I mean they're always 0:40:32.880 --> 0:40:36.400 they always have smaller bodies, but they're getting smaller and smaller. 0:40:37.480 --> 0:40:42.080 And that's what's really really scary. I think we see 0:40:42.120 --> 0:40:44.880 that and it's so crazy that this is the case. 0:40:44.920 --> 0:40:47.960 But women's bodies trend, right there's the stage where we 0:40:47.960 --> 0:40:50.520 had the hourglass trend, and then we had back when 0:40:50.560 --> 0:40:52.560 I was in my phase of disordered eating, it was 0:40:52.760 --> 0:40:55.040 very much the caate moss, like nothing tastes as good 0:40:55.040 --> 0:40:58.040 as skinny feels, which is so insane, but that was 0:40:58.120 --> 0:41:01.480 like a very popular thing on was it on Pinterest 0:41:01.719 --> 0:41:04.720 or something like that, tumbl tumbler the tumblr blocks, so 0:41:04.719 --> 0:41:08.600 so many people would share that. And what's really scary 0:41:08.800 --> 0:41:11.520 is with the rise of ozen pic people having access 0:41:11.520 --> 0:41:14.400 to it that on the black market or whatever you 0:41:14.480 --> 0:41:19.399 call it. That I'm very scared we're going to enter 0:41:19.440 --> 0:41:24.160 a trend again of extreme thin and small bodies, and 0:41:24.200 --> 0:41:27.759 that is for women and for the pressure to look 0:41:27.800 --> 0:41:30.080 that way, because there's always this pressure that we need 0:41:30.120 --> 0:41:33.360 to societal pressure from you know, so many elements sometimes 0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:37.359 the media, society, social media to fit a mold, and 0:41:37.400 --> 0:41:40.880 the mold is getting really really small and that's really 0:41:40.920 --> 0:41:44.120 really scary because we know that when we feel pressure 0:41:44.120 --> 0:41:45.799 to change the way that our bodies look, and we 0:41:45.840 --> 0:41:47.760 think that the way that our body looks as women 0:41:47.800 --> 0:41:52.360 is the most important thing about us, and we do change, 0:41:52.400 --> 0:41:54.880 you know, we exercise more or we eat less. Usually 0:41:54.920 --> 0:41:58.359 that's what people will do. You think about food twenty 0:41:58.400 --> 0:41:59.799 four to seven. And that was for me when I 0:41:59.840 --> 0:42:01.640 was in my phase of disordered eating. I was the 0:42:01.680 --> 0:42:04.600 smallest I had ever been. I was. I had a 0:42:04.640 --> 0:42:06.840 goal weight, and I'll never forget. I remember when I 0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:08.319 got to this goal weight, and I thought, if I 0:42:08.360 --> 0:42:10.880 get to this weight, I was depriving myself. I was exhausted. 0:42:11.200 --> 0:42:15.200 I didn't I was exercising when I had hardly eaten. 0:42:15.800 --> 0:42:17.759 I couldn't study like my studies. I was doing my 0:42:17.840 --> 0:42:19.480 law de great at the time, I could not focus 0:42:19.480 --> 0:42:21.279 on it because I had no brain cells because I 0:42:21.320 --> 0:42:24.120 was not fueling my body. And I remember I got 0:42:24.160 --> 0:42:26.520 to this goal weight and I thought, sorry, if I 0:42:26.560 --> 0:42:29.239 get to this goal weight, I will be happy. All 0:42:29.239 --> 0:42:31.360 my dreams will come true. That's all that. Then I 0:42:31.400 --> 0:42:33.600 will be worthy, I will be good enough. And I 0:42:33.600 --> 0:42:35.440 remember I got to the goal weight. I looked in 0:42:35.520 --> 0:42:37.439 the mirror, and I thought, you're still not good enough, 0:42:37.520 --> 0:42:39.680 Like you need to now change this about your body 0:42:39.680 --> 0:42:42.240 and you need to keep going. And that's what's scary 0:42:42.320 --> 0:42:44.719 is that there is no and when you're in that mindset, 0:42:44.880 --> 0:42:49.279 there is no endpoint to that. And yeah, that's what 0:42:49.360 --> 0:42:51.799 I think. I'm the most scared about it at the 0:42:51.840 --> 0:42:54.040 moment in terms of the way that we see the 0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:55.239 industry going. 0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.799 Well, I think that the work that you and Steph 0:42:59.160 --> 0:43:03.560 are doing really is a powerful way to combat that. 0:43:03.800 --> 0:43:08.279 So well done, and thanks for opening up about your 0:43:08.280 --> 0:43:11.759 own experience there with our audience, because I do think 0:43:12.239 --> 0:43:16.920 those examples and that candor really helps with these conversations. 0:43:17.640 --> 0:43:17.879 Laura. 0:43:18.000 --> 0:43:22.400 My final question for you was actually going back to 0:43:22.600 --> 0:43:27.560 the looming arrival of your baby in a couple of 0:43:27.600 --> 0:43:29.719 trimester's times. So I'm not going to hit you up 0:43:29.760 --> 0:43:33.799 about whether you know the gender yet or much less 0:43:33.800 --> 0:43:35.920 if you want to share it and even baby names, 0:43:35.960 --> 0:43:38.640 but I would like to talk a little bit about surnames, 0:43:38.719 --> 0:43:42.280 family names, because one of the things I've always really 0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:48.520 loved about your story is that your husband actually changed 0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:52.800 his surname when the two of you got married. Look, bravo, 0:43:53.280 --> 0:43:58.280 really genuinely just think it's such a wonderful decision reflects 0:43:58.280 --> 0:44:01.400 so well I think on the two of you. If 0:44:01.400 --> 0:44:05.000 that doesn't sound patronizing to say that. So, have you 0:44:05.520 --> 0:44:08.680 had any discussions about what the family name will be 0:44:09.719 --> 0:44:11.280 for your baby when they arrive. 0:44:12.080 --> 0:44:15.040 Yeah, So that was something that in making the decision 0:44:15.120 --> 0:44:17.399 in my husband knew that. I mean, I did say 0:44:17.400 --> 0:44:19.239 when we got married. I said to him, look, I 0:44:19.280 --> 0:44:21.279 don't really want to change my name. I've built my 0:44:21.320 --> 0:44:25.040 brand around my name. It means a lot to me. However, 0:44:25.120 --> 0:44:28.920 I don't expect you to change your name. We had 0:44:28.920 --> 0:44:31.160 a really open conversation about it, in a way that 0:44:31.239 --> 0:44:33.960 there was no expectation that because I was female I 0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:35.960 would change my name and because he was the man, 0:44:36.080 --> 0:44:40.080 I would take his name. However, we both will open 0:44:40.200 --> 0:44:41.800 and I said to him, look, if this is something 0:44:41.840 --> 0:44:43.640 that means a lot to you and is going to 0:44:43.680 --> 0:44:45.719 impact your life, if I don't take your name, I'm 0:44:45.719 --> 0:44:48.000 also really happy to have that conversation with you. But 0:44:48.120 --> 0:44:50.359 for him, he said, no, I think it. You know, 0:44:50.480 --> 0:44:52.560 if he didn't want to have a different it was 0:44:52.560 --> 0:44:55.000 really important to him that if we did have kids, 0:44:55.680 --> 0:44:57.800 that he had the same surname as his kids. Obviously, 0:44:57.840 --> 0:44:59.759 there's so many people that don't change their name, and 0:44:59.840 --> 0:45:02.000 so so if the in a head sexual relationship, if 0:45:02.000 --> 0:45:04.399 the woman keeps her name, the child will often take 0:45:04.440 --> 0:45:07.279 the husband's surname. That doesn't mean that there's nothing wrong 0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:09.399 with that, but for Dulton personally, that was something really 0:45:09.440 --> 0:45:13.680 important to him, and so that was why he decided 0:45:13.719 --> 0:45:16.920 that he would change his name. He said, well, it 0:45:16.480 --> 0:45:18.680 makes sense for you to keep your name, and I 0:45:18.719 --> 0:45:20.279 want to have the same surname as our kids, so 0:45:20.280 --> 0:45:23.080 I'll change my name. And so what that will mean 0:45:23.160 --> 0:45:27.520 is that our baby will have our surname, Henshaw, our 0:45:27.520 --> 0:45:30.680 shared surname. And we actually it's funny. We do know 0:45:30.840 --> 0:45:32.920 the gender. We're not going to share it until like 0:45:33.000 --> 0:45:37.920 on social media, but do we do know? And I 0:45:38.120 --> 0:45:40.919 had names in my phone and so did adult for 0:45:41.400 --> 0:45:44.400 one gender, and we had zero names to the other gender. 0:45:44.520 --> 0:45:48.040 And we're having the gender that we don't have names for. 0:45:48.400 --> 0:45:51.879 So it's been so funny just trying to work out 0:45:51.920 --> 0:45:54.360 the name because we keep sending each other things and 0:45:54.400 --> 0:45:56.200 it's so funny with every name it's like, no I 0:45:56.280 --> 0:45:58.920 knew someone they were mean or makes me think of 0:45:58.960 --> 0:46:03.000 this or whatever. So we definitely have no idea what 0:46:03.080 --> 0:46:05.799 the name is going to be, but that's okay. I'm 0:46:05.800 --> 0:46:08.120 sure we'll work it out by the time we've got 0:46:08.600 --> 0:46:11.440 quite a few months left. But yeah, that's been quite funny. 0:46:11.680 --> 0:46:15.640 That will be a little fun pastime over the coming 0:46:15.680 --> 0:46:18.680 weeks as well, is to keep swapping ideas for the. 0:46:18.680 --> 0:46:20.400 Gender that you hadn't preempted. 0:46:21.440 --> 0:46:25.399 Laura, congratulations again to you and your husband on your 0:46:25.480 --> 0:46:28.920 happy news, and thank you so much for your time today. 0:46:29.080 --> 0:46:32.600 It's been really wonderful to chat to you about a 0:46:32.600 --> 0:46:35.600 lot of things solving the problems of the world. I 0:46:35.640 --> 0:46:38.640 think you know, one conversation at a time, and you 0:46:38.760 --> 0:46:43.400 can hear Laura Henshaw's new podcast, Am I Equal via Kickpod, 0:46:43.520 --> 0:46:46.080 and you can catch Laura on the Kick app. We'll 0:46:46.080 --> 0:46:48.920 have a link to both of those in our show notes, 0:46:49.200 --> 0:46:51.759 and if you're interested in hearing more about Kick, We've 0:46:51.880 --> 0:46:55.360 also will have a link to an interview with Laura's 0:46:55.360 --> 0:46:58.440 co founder, Steph Claire Smith in the show notes as well. 0:46:58.840 --> 0:46:59.920 Laura, thanks again for. 0:46:59.840 --> 0:47:02.879 Your time, Thank you so much, see it soon. 0:47:03.320 --> 0:47:05.720 Thank you for joining me today. I hope you've enjoyed 0:47:05.719 --> 0:47:08.440 this episode. Let us know by leaving a review or 0:47:08.480 --> 0:47:11.040 maybe sending it to a friend, and make sure you're 0:47:11.080 --> 0:47:13.600 following something to talk about, because we'll be back with 0:47:13.640 --> 0:47:15.760 another exclusive guest next week.