WEBVTT - #2154 Sharing My Notes... - Harps

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<v Speaker 1>Good team.

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<v Speaker 2>So no guest today, And I've been thinking about what

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<v Speaker 2>I might do. Would I do a podcast? And I

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<v Speaker 2>was leaning towards not, because I hate it when I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like I've got to be creative or spontaneous or

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<v Speaker 2>I've got to come up with something to me, it

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't feel authentic or organic. And I really only like

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<v Speaker 2>doing solos when I've got something that I want to

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<v Speaker 2>share or I think is front of mine for me,

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<v Speaker 2>or I think is going to be potentially interesting or valuable,

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<v Speaker 2>or maybe a bit who knows, insightful or inspirational whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'd kind of resigned myself to add no potty today.

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<v Speaker 2>Then I've just been sitting on mapooda in front of

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<v Speaker 2>me and just culling some of the eighteen million word

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<v Speaker 2>documents I have from the Second World War when I

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<v Speaker 2>started accumulating stuff, and I came across.

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<v Speaker 1>I came across.

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<v Speaker 2>A not even a book, a collection of notes that

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<v Speaker 2>are jotted down for myself from about five years ago

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<v Speaker 2>that were going to be the beginnings of a book.

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<v Speaker 2>So the way that my process works, So for those

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<v Speaker 2>of you who want to write a book, definitely this

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<v Speaker 2>is not the protocol, but this is often my protocol,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't I often don't know exactly where it's going

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<v Speaker 2>to go. I don't think I'm going to write a

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<v Speaker 2>book it's going to be specifically about this only I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to go down this path. I'm going to tick

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<v Speaker 2>these boxes along the way. I'm going to cover these

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<v Speaker 2>eight key areas, which probably how I should.

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<v Speaker 1>Do it, but I don't.

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<v Speaker 2>So the way that I do it is I just

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<v Speaker 2>have an idea or a thought, and I think, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>that's interesting, and I write down the idea or the thought.

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<v Speaker 2>And sometimes that idea or thought or lesson or insight

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<v Speaker 2>or even question would be a sentence. Sometimes it's a paragraph,

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<v Speaker 2>sometimes it's two paragraphs. But I think I can use these,

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<v Speaker 2>or I find these interesting. I find these worth considering

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<v Speaker 2>and exploring and learning about. I have some experience in this,

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<v Speaker 2>so this might help people, or I've had a lesson

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<v Speaker 2>in this space. Maybe this is of value or interest.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I kind of figure out which bit will

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<v Speaker 2>go where, and I switch them around and I go

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<v Speaker 2>what flows into what if anything? Does this need to

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<v Speaker 2>be a standalone message or story, and so on and

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<v Speaker 2>so on. So I stumbled across a bunch of notes

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<v Speaker 2>that I'd written and I hadn't looked at for years,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's what is it, two hundred and fifty six words,

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<v Speaker 2>So not a lot of words in the context of

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<v Speaker 2>a book. It's eight pages. But I was reading through

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<v Speaker 2>those notes just now. I was figuring out, will I

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<v Speaker 2>delete this file?

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<v Speaker 1>Will I keep it?

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<v Speaker 2>I got way too much shit as not just in my.

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<v Speaker 1>Life but on my anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>I was trying to figure out what I might do

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<v Speaker 2>with this, so I was about to press delete. Then

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<v Speaker 2>I started reading and I went, some of these things

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<v Speaker 2>are actually worth pondering for me and maybe for you.

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<v Speaker 2>So these are all random, maybe interconnected in a way,

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<v Speaker 2>but there's no logical sequence. I'm literally I'm on page one,

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<v Speaker 2>line one. I want to share with you some of

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<v Speaker 2>the notes that I've jotted down because I think some

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<v Speaker 2>of these will be for you worth exploring, or there

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<v Speaker 2>might be a self contained message within the brief kind

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<v Speaker 2>of bit that I share. Either way, I think I

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<v Speaker 2>think some of you will find this interesting and also

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<v Speaker 2>to understand my process. Even if I'm coming up with

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<v Speaker 2>a workshop and I want to call that workshop optimizing you,

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<v Speaker 2>for example, I go, well, what does that mean? And

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<v Speaker 2>I go Wow, there's the mind stuff. There's the body stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>There's social stuff. There's the money stuff, there's the living

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<v Speaker 2>life stuff, there's the health stuff. You know, there's how

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<v Speaker 2>do I optimize my brain stuff? How do I be

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<v Speaker 2>a better human? What's a light better? All that stuff?

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<v Speaker 2>And I come up with all these disparate but somewhat

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<v Speaker 2>interconnected concepts or.

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<v Speaker 1>Themes, and then I get it all down. I'll write.

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<v Speaker 2>I might write one line, and then I'll come back

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<v Speaker 2>to that line because I've written thirty other lines of

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<v Speaker 2>thirty other topics. I might come back to it this

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<v Speaker 2>afternoon and added another couple of lines. Then I'll go

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<v Speaker 2>for a scroll, a bit of a verbal or a

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<v Speaker 2>written meander through my own work, and go, I could

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<v Speaker 2>add this to that. I know a story about that

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<v Speaker 2>that would add on to this little bit of insight

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<v Speaker 2>or this bit of science or this bit of information.

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<v Speaker 2>I think they go well together. So that's how I

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<v Speaker 2>do it. Which, again, as I said, I'm not recommending

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<v Speaker 2>you do it that way. This is just how my brain.

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<v Speaker 2>My brain works, So I'm going to share some of

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<v Speaker 2>my notes. So Note one is this, many times I

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<v Speaker 2>thought my life needed to change, but what really needed

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<v Speaker 2>to change was me in the middle of that life.

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<v Speaker 2>And then amazingly, when I changed, so did my life.

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<v Speaker 2>So from that, well, did my life really change? Well,

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<v Speaker 2>the answer is, in many ways, no, my life was

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<v Speaker 2>the same. So I guess I'm talking here about life

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<v Speaker 2>situation or the practicality of my external world, my life,

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<v Speaker 2>my environment.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, where I work or where I.

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<v Speaker 2>Go to school, or where I drive each day, or

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<v Speaker 2>what I wear each day or what bed I sleep

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<v Speaker 2>in each night, and all that stuff is kind of

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<v Speaker 2>a constant, or very often it's a constant. But what

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<v Speaker 2>I've said in the last sentence there is, amazingly, when

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<v Speaker 2>I changed, so did my life. What I maybe should

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<v Speaker 2>have written is when I changed, then so did my

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<v Speaker 2>life experience or the way that I experienced or perceived

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<v Speaker 2>or enjoyed or hated or processed life. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>like this idea of considering the disparity or the divergence

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<v Speaker 2>or the gap between my life situation, what's going on,

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<v Speaker 2>where I were, how much money I have, my friends,

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<v Speaker 2>my environment, my house, all the things that make up

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<v Speaker 2>the external kind of practical, real world visible reality of

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<v Speaker 2>my life, and then me in the middle of it,

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<v Speaker 2>the perceiver of my life. So I'm going to share

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<v Speaker 2>that with you once again. Many times I thought my

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<v Speaker 2>life needed to change, but what really needed to change

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<v Speaker 2>was me in the middle of that life. And amazingly,

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<v Speaker 2>when I changed, so did my life. And by that

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<v Speaker 2>I mean life experience. Sometimes we think we're in a

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<v Speaker 2>shit situation, but maybe it's maybe it is maybe it

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<v Speaker 2>is that. Maybe it's just a situation, and maybe it's

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<v Speaker 2>a one out of ten shit, but our thinking makes

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<v Speaker 2>it a nine out of ten shit because you meet

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<v Speaker 2>someone one day and then you're like, oh, well.

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<v Speaker 1>This is actually a fucking shit situation. Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Their life is real, legit difficult. They have real, legit problems.

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<v Speaker 2>And I realized that I was turning up the volume

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<v Speaker 2>on my own problems. And so that is why I

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<v Speaker 2>am always my biggest project, urgo the view project. That

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<v Speaker 2>is why I'm always working on me to figure out

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<v Speaker 2>what part of this bad experience in inverted commas am

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<v Speaker 2>I creating? What part of this lack of joy or

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<v Speaker 2>satisfaction or fulfillment or calm is because of me? Not

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<v Speaker 2>really because of my life. And we can't really be

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<v Speaker 2>totally objective because we each look through the subjective window

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<v Speaker 2>of our mind. Our understanding, our brain, our cognitive function,

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<v Speaker 2>our experience, is our truth, our beliefs. But when we

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<v Speaker 2>can try to edge towards the more objective end of

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<v Speaker 2>the scale, and we can start to see our own

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<v Speaker 2>life or existence or practical real world three dimensional reality

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<v Speaker 2>as others see our life or what they think is

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<v Speaker 2>our life, sometimes we realize, well, my life is actually

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<v Speaker 2>pretty good. My life is actually a seven or an eight.

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<v Speaker 2>Are their problems? Yes, so their challenges are the things

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<v Speaker 2>I need to do and change. But like when I

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<v Speaker 2>took a when I look at the totality of my

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<v Speaker 2>existence and what I have, and the real threats and

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<v Speaker 2>the real dangers and the real problems and the real

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<v Speaker 2>catastrophes in my life, they are almost zero. My next

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<v Speaker 2>note is this, Remember all disparate, all different, not necessarily related.

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<v Speaker 2>No matter how much sense it doesn't make to you,

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<v Speaker 2>remember that in their mind, it makes all the sense.

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<v Speaker 2>In their mind, it makes all the sense. Your job

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<v Speaker 2>is not to agree or align with everyone, of course,

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<v Speaker 2>but rather to understand an emotional, psychological, and philosophical or

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<v Speaker 2>experiential reality different to yours. And we've spoken about this

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<v Speaker 2>many times, trying to understand how other people are back

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<v Speaker 2>to the notes.

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<v Speaker 1>This is the.

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<v Speaker 2>Starting point for a type of connect and understanding that

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<v Speaker 2>can't happen when we exist in an echo chamber of thought, behavior,

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<v Speaker 2>and ideology.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is a.

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<v Speaker 2>Hard thing to do, because we exist in our own

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<v Speaker 2>echo chamber. We'd like to think we don't because we

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<v Speaker 2>like to think we're open minded and we're objective in

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<v Speaker 2>all of those things. And I like to think that too.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm only objective and open minded to the extent

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<v Speaker 2>that I can be a regular human with preconceived ideas

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<v Speaker 2>and notions or pre existing I should say, ideas and

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<v Speaker 2>notions and beliefs and values and stories and history. So

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<v Speaker 2>I go through through that again. No matter how much

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<v Speaker 2>sense puts teeth in harps, no matter how much sense

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<v Speaker 2>it doesn't make to you, remember that in the middle

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<v Speaker 2>of their mind, their reality, it makes all the sense.

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<v Speaker 2>Your job is not to agree or to align with everybody,

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<v Speaker 2>of course, but rather to understand an emotional, psychological, philosophical,

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<v Speaker 2>and experiential reality different to yours. And when we understand

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<v Speaker 2>people better again, we can build that connection and rapport

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<v Speaker 2>of which I always speak. This is the starting point

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<v Speaker 2>for the type of connection and understanding that can't happen

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<v Speaker 2>when we exist solely in an echo chamber of our

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<v Speaker 2>own thought, belief, ideology, and even behaviors. I like that.

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<v Speaker 2>That's old. But okay, here's my next one. If John

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<v Speaker 2>says something, I think I've written something similar to this.

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<v Speaker 2>If John says something and one person is amused, another curious,

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<v Speaker 2>another inspired, and another offended from, where does the offense come?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it caused by what John said, caused in inverted

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<v Speaker 2>commas by what John said, or is that offense a

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<v Speaker 2>byproduct of that person's thinking brackets about what John said?

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<v Speaker 2>And this is not an invite to rant about what

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<v Speaker 2>is or isn't generally speaking offensive. We've got enough e

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<v Speaker 2>co chambers, soapboxes, and finger pointers, but rather to intellectually

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<v Speaker 2>consider how and why. In the above example, three people

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<v Speaker 2>are not offended and one is. So getting offended by

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<v Speaker 2>a certain thing is not a consistent and predictable response

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<v Speaker 2>to an individual stimuli across the board, but rather the

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<v Speaker 2>outcome of an individual cognitive process of interpretation and decision

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<v Speaker 2>making and reality creating, making our own reality. If offense

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<v Speaker 2>being offended is an individual response to any stimulus, word, behavior, attitude, belief, act,

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<v Speaker 2>then anyone can deem literally anything and everything to be

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<v Speaker 2>offensive because it's all about a personal response, reaction, or story.

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<v Speaker 2>Case in point, my most popular book as fuck on

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<v Speaker 2>the front cover. And at the same time, the biggest

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<v Speaker 2>criticism I get people giving me feedback is for saying fuck. Ironically,

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<v Speaker 2>some people are fucked off by the use by the

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<v Speaker 2>use of the word fuck. Here's my next one, my

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<v Speaker 2>next note in my Little Body bundle of notes. You

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<v Speaker 2>when a desirable and productive behavior, one that is aligned

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<v Speaker 2>with your values and goals, becomes part of your normal

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<v Speaker 2>operating system, something hardwired into your subconscious mind, a habit,

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<v Speaker 2>then the need to get motivated get motivated becomes redundant.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll say that better.

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<v Speaker 2>When it's desirable and productive behavior, one that aligns with

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<v Speaker 2>your values and goals becomes part of your normal operating system,

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<v Speaker 2>that is, something hardwired into your subconscious mind, a habit,

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<v Speaker 2>then the need to get motivated, inspired, excited, etc. Becomes

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<v Speaker 2>redundant because now that thing that we know that we

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<v Speaker 2>should do that's good for our body or brain, or

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<v Speaker 2>relationships or financial health, or sleep productivity or sleep hygiene

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<v Speaker 2>or whatever. When that thing that we should do becomes

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<v Speaker 2>hardwired into our subconscious hardwired into our daily kind of

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<v Speaker 2>rituals and rules. In other words, it becomes a normal,

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<v Speaker 2>like this is my normal. This is me just being me,

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<v Speaker 2>This is me just doing me. This is not me

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<v Speaker 2>doing something special or different or amazing because I'm trying

0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:36.880
<v Speaker 2>to create an amazing outcome. No, this is just how

0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.800
<v Speaker 2>I live. Now, this is my new normal. Then when

0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:44.120
<v Speaker 2>that turns from a sometimes when I'm inspired thing to

0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:48.480
<v Speaker 2>an all the time ritual or habit or behavior, then

0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:52.400
<v Speaker 2>now we don't need to keep constantly trying to find

0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:56.600
<v Speaker 2>ways to get motivated get inspired. We just do the

0:13:56.720 --> 0:14:01.600
<v Speaker 2>right thing on autopilot. Here's my next one. I think

0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:05.440
<v Speaker 2>this is note five. Rather than perpetually choosing the path

0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:10.600
<v Speaker 2>of comfort, train yourself to be comfortable, competent, effective, calm,

0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:16.280
<v Speaker 2>relaxed in the mayhem, madness inconvenience, and discomfort. In doing so,

0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:21.160
<v Speaker 2>your ability to function optimally is not situation dependent, but

0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:23.080
<v Speaker 2>rather you dependent.

0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:24.000
<v Speaker 1>Like it or not.

0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:26.720
<v Speaker 2>The shit storm comes for everyone, and how do we

0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 2>do that? How do we train ourselves in other words,

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.320
<v Speaker 2>to be the calm in the chaos, which is called

0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:34.840
<v Speaker 2>in Eastern philosophy equanimity. You've heard me say that a

0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.560
<v Speaker 2>thousand times. How do we do that well? We don't

0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:40.400
<v Speaker 2>get good at performing under pressure or being the calm

0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:44.720
<v Speaker 2>in the chaos by avoiding hard things. Now, obviously we

0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.320
<v Speaker 2>need to be careful about choosing the hard things. We

0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:51.320
<v Speaker 2>need to choose something that's hard or difficult, or complicated

0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:57.320
<v Speaker 2>or uncomfortable in a strategic and logical and intellectual way.

0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:58.960
<v Speaker 2>We know it's going to be hard, we know it

0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:01.880
<v Speaker 2>won't be fun initially, we know we won't love it,

0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:04.400
<v Speaker 2>we won't enjoy it. But that's okay because we're doing

0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:09.119
<v Speaker 2>it to create shift in our productivity and efficiency and outcomes.

0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.400
<v Speaker 2>And we're also doing it to create shift in ourselves.

0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 2>And that shift that I get in myself, for example,

0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:19.840
<v Speaker 2>when I'm doing hard things, when I'm learning new things,

0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:24.760
<v Speaker 2>when I'm stepping into unfamiliar, uncomfortable territory, is that I

0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.200
<v Speaker 2>am now making me a better version of me, who

0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:31.320
<v Speaker 2>can be more adaptable, who can be socially or behaviorally

0:15:31.480 --> 0:15:35.680
<v Speaker 2>or cognitively more flexible, who can do what most people

0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:39.120
<v Speaker 2>can't do when the shit hits the fan. So you

0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 2>will not accidentally become stronger or better, or more skilled,

0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:46.840
<v Speaker 2>or more effective or more resilient. That will not happen

0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:51.560
<v Speaker 2>unless you put yourself in a situation or a challenge

0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:56.200
<v Speaker 2>or an environment where this needs to come out of you.

0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:58.920
<v Speaker 2>And it's doing the hard things like lifting the weights

0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:02.520
<v Speaker 2>that build strength, that builds resilience, and that builds a

0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:06.520
<v Speaker 2>kind of endurance that a lot of people don't have. Alrighty,

0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I like this next one step away from the programming.

0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:17.080
<v Speaker 2>This is metaphorically or intellectually or emotionally psychologically. Step away

0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:22.360
<v Speaker 2>from the programming, expectation and conformity for a minute. Find

0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:27.080
<v Speaker 2>some clarity and space. Where does their thinking finish and

0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.320
<v Speaker 2>your start? Where is the programming and where are you

0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:36.400
<v Speaker 2>think about your thinking? Come to your own conclusions, discover

0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:41.400
<v Speaker 2>your own truth, purpose, and path. Your potential is way

0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:45.040
<v Speaker 2>bigger than just meeting the expectations of others, of fitting in,

0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:49.720
<v Speaker 2>of conforming the enormity of conformity I call it. You

0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.000
<v Speaker 2>might do a big loop and discover that you're actually

0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.800
<v Speaker 2>where you need to be, or you might find yourself

0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:58.800
<v Speaker 2>on a whole new, exciting trajectory. But this is the challenge,

0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.160
<v Speaker 2>This is the ever present challenge of being aware of

0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.359
<v Speaker 2>our programming, being aware of the pressure from others to

0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:09.520
<v Speaker 2>do what the others think we should do and being

0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:12.040
<v Speaker 2>brave enough to go, Yeah, look, thanks for your input,

0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:14.919
<v Speaker 2>thanks for the pressure, thanks for telling me what you

0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:18.359
<v Speaker 2>think my life or my behavior or my choices should be.

0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.240
<v Speaker 1>But hey, how about you live your life. I'll live

0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:21.800
<v Speaker 1>my life.

0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:25.280
<v Speaker 2>You create your own version of normal, and you make

0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.840
<v Speaker 2>your own decisions and choose your own path, and I'll

0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:30.439
<v Speaker 2>be over here doing the same. But it is a

0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:36.800
<v Speaker 2>challenge for us when, especially when we're people pleases, especially

0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:42.639
<v Speaker 2>when we are often guilted into certain things because we

0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.879
<v Speaker 2>want to be loyal and we want to belong and

0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.200
<v Speaker 2>we want to be part of the gang. And while

0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:53.240
<v Speaker 2>that's understandable, it's also quite often it can be I

0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:55.359
<v Speaker 2>will say it not always is, but it can be.

0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.280
<v Speaker 2>It can be a handbreak to your potential. It can

0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.359
<v Speaker 2>be a barrier to you finding what your purpose should

0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:07.160
<v Speaker 2>be or could be. All right, here's my next one.

0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I like this.

0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:12.320
<v Speaker 2>It's funny when I say I like something I wrote.

0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:17.240
<v Speaker 2>I just like this concept. There's actual kindness, and then

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.480
<v Speaker 2>there's a gender and manipulation.

0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.600
<v Speaker 1>Wearing a smile, I'm going.

0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.040
<v Speaker 2>To say it again, there's actual kindness where people are

0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:31.080
<v Speaker 2>genuinely kind and loving and compassionate and caring, and then

0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:34.280
<v Speaker 2>there's a gender and manipulation wearing a smile. That is,

0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:39.800
<v Speaker 2>sometimes people who are strategic, strategically nice because they have

0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:43.800
<v Speaker 2>a strategy to extract something from you, to get something

0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:48.280
<v Speaker 2>from you, to manipulate, coerce, control, or influence you in

0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:50.800
<v Speaker 2>a way. In other words, it's not kindness or love

0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.760
<v Speaker 2>at all. It's just somebody trying to get you to

0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:57.520
<v Speaker 2>be of value to them and to use you for

0:18:57.600 --> 0:18:58.920
<v Speaker 2>something that sounds the negative.

0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:00.520
<v Speaker 1>It isn't.

0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:01.920
<v Speaker 2>It's just true.

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:03.960
<v Speaker 1>You know this. I know this.

0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:08.840
<v Speaker 2>I've experienced it many times where people will treat me

0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:15.320
<v Speaker 2>a certain way because I know they want something. And

0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 2>if I couldn't do the things for them that they

0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.679
<v Speaker 2>think I can do, or they thought I was not

0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.679
<v Speaker 2>going to be of any value to them, they wouldn't

0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:28.600
<v Speaker 2>treat me the way they're currently treating me. There's I

0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:31.000
<v Speaker 2>don't know why I wrote this, but I put a

0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:34.040
<v Speaker 2>scripture in here which is from the New Testament Matthew

0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:36.280
<v Speaker 2>seven to fifteen. Without getting all religious on you, but

0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:39.200
<v Speaker 2>this is just a nice scripture. It says, watch out

0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:42.280
<v Speaker 2>for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothings.

0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:46.080
<v Speaker 2>But inwardly they are ferocious wolves. If you want to

0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:49.120
<v Speaker 2>look that up, it's Matthew chapter seven, verse fifteen.

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:49.800
<v Speaker 1>There we go.

0:19:49.880 --> 0:19:52.960
<v Speaker 2>It's the bit of religion for the day. So the

0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:55.920
<v Speaker 2>next one is really short. I'll expand on it a bit,

0:19:56.200 --> 0:20:03.520
<v Speaker 2>but stimulus response it you inevitable optional. You'll be navigating

0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.800
<v Speaker 2>shit for a while yet. And this is a real

0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:12.400
<v Speaker 2>hard thing to live because we often respond or react

0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:17.560
<v Speaker 2>or behave before we really process or really think deeply

0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:21.479
<v Speaker 2>or really just take a breath. So we do something smart,

0:20:21.560 --> 0:20:24.879
<v Speaker 2>not something dumb. So there's always going to be, you know,

0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:28.240
<v Speaker 2>something that happens big or small, good or bad, scene

0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:32.480
<v Speaker 2>or unseen or predicted or not. There's going to be

0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:35.920
<v Speaker 2>something that happens to you because you inspire you around you,

0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:41.600
<v Speaker 2>and our challenge is to respond hard. I agree it's hard,

0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:44.720
<v Speaker 2>but our challenge is to respond in a way which

0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:50.080
<v Speaker 2>is best for us but also hopefully for those around us,

0:20:51.960 --> 0:20:55.560
<v Speaker 2>and to respond in a way which is consistent with

0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:57.320
<v Speaker 2>who we want to be and how we want to be.

0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:02.119
<v Speaker 2>This has been an ongoing challenge for me because my

0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:07.760
<v Speaker 2>mind works quite quickly and my mouth works even more quickly.

0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:12.160
<v Speaker 2>Is that sometimes something will happen, and I will respond.

0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:17.560
<v Speaker 2>I will respond in a way which is inappropriate or

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:21.959
<v Speaker 2>inconsistent with the kind of person that I want to be,

0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:24.720
<v Speaker 2>And as it's coming out of my mouth, I know

0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:27.879
<v Speaker 2>this is no shock to you, but I regret it,

0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.520
<v Speaker 2>and I try and retract it. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes

0:21:31.560 --> 0:21:34.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't realize till later. So one of my challenges

0:21:35.320 --> 0:21:37.119
<v Speaker 2>me personally, I don't know if this is you, but

0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:41.360
<v Speaker 2>is between stimulus and response, just hanging out a bit,

0:21:42.520 --> 0:21:47.400
<v Speaker 2>just before I react, before I escalate or elevate, before

0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:51.920
<v Speaker 2>I do or say something that I shouldn't or don't

0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:55.399
<v Speaker 2>want to, is to just pause for a moment, just

0:21:55.440 --> 0:22:02.080
<v Speaker 2>to collect myself and consciously not respond in the way

0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:05.400
<v Speaker 2>that I want to respond immediately. And that really makes

0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:08.080
<v Speaker 2>a difference socially, It makes a difference emotionally.

0:22:08.160 --> 0:22:09.080
<v Speaker 1>It makes a difference in.

0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:13.439
<v Speaker 2>Leadership at work, at home, with all relationships. Is just

0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:16.360
<v Speaker 2>before you just do that thing or say that thing,

0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:19.720
<v Speaker 2>or respond in that way that you might regret, just

0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:22.200
<v Speaker 2>put the old verbal brakes on it for a minute,

0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:26.919
<v Speaker 2>shut the fuck up, and then once you've got yourself together,

0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:28.080
<v Speaker 2>maybe then respond.

0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:31.600
<v Speaker 1>I like this one too. The next one is what

0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:34.760
<v Speaker 1>if your best years are yet.

0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:39.080
<v Speaker 2>To come, I honestly think, and I'm sixty two, I

0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:41.480
<v Speaker 2>don't think necessarily my best years are yet to come,

0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:43.959
<v Speaker 2>but I think great things are yet to come. I

0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:49.600
<v Speaker 2>hope they are that haven't happened already. I think it's

0:22:49.640 --> 0:22:54.399
<v Speaker 2>fully my intention at sixty two to keep learning, keep growing,

0:22:54.520 --> 0:23:00.359
<v Speaker 2>keep evolving, keep adapting, keep developing new skills, keep growing

0:23:00.359 --> 0:23:04.399
<v Speaker 2>my understanding and my compassion and my kindness, and to

0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:09.520
<v Speaker 2>keep bringing things into the world that are worth listening to,

0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:14.160
<v Speaker 2>or worth watching, or worth reading, or are of value

0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:18.919
<v Speaker 2>real practical value to people in some way. So what

0:23:18.960 --> 0:23:20.480
<v Speaker 2>if your best year is a yet to come? What

0:23:20.520 --> 0:23:22.879
<v Speaker 2>if your peak hasn't come and gone. What if you

0:23:23.000 --> 0:23:27.240
<v Speaker 2>can be more successful, fulfilled, and empowered in the second

0:23:27.480 --> 0:23:29.639
<v Speaker 2>half of your life, or maybe the last third of

0:23:29.640 --> 0:23:32.040
<v Speaker 2>your life, or maybe the last two thirds of your life.

0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:35.399
<v Speaker 2>What if thinking about age is more of a limitation

0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:40.399
<v Speaker 2>than age itself. What if you could be physically, mentally,

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:43.960
<v Speaker 2>and emotionally better in inverted commas in your fifties, sixties,

0:23:43.960 --> 0:23:48.640
<v Speaker 2>and seventies, depending on your starting point. Of course, some

0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:52.000
<v Speaker 2>people definitely can. I've got friends who are in their

0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:57.520
<v Speaker 2>sixties now and fifties who are in better shape than

0:23:57.560 --> 0:24:00.960
<v Speaker 2>when they are in their twenties and thirties. What if

0:24:01.000 --> 0:24:04.919
<v Speaker 2>you went back to study thirty years after you finished school?

0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:09.840
<v Speaker 2>What if you stopped living age appropriately? You know how,

0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:13.159
<v Speaker 2>there's a way that we're expected to behave. What is

0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:18.800
<v Speaker 2>age appropriate behavior? What is an age appropriate outfit.

0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:19.240
<v Speaker 1>For you to wear?

0:24:19.400 --> 0:24:22.119
<v Speaker 2>Clothes to wear? What is an age appropriate way for

0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:25.920
<v Speaker 2>you to speak or live or socialized? Fuck?

0:24:26.000 --> 0:24:26.919
<v Speaker 1>Age appropriate?

0:24:27.359 --> 0:24:30.560
<v Speaker 2>How about maybe it turns out being age appropriate? But

0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:34.679
<v Speaker 2>what if you just start living passionately and courageously and

0:24:34.800 --> 0:24:41.680
<v Speaker 2>curiously and even inappropriately for your age. I've been inappropriate

0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:42.320
<v Speaker 2>for decades.

0:24:43.000 --> 0:24:43.560
<v Speaker 1>You all know that.

0:24:46.119 --> 0:24:51.760
<v Speaker 2>Here's my next one. Live olive. Live to live is

0:24:51.760 --> 0:24:56.439
<v Speaker 2>a present tense verb. It can't happen in the past

0:24:56.520 --> 0:25:00.879
<v Speaker 2>or future, only in the continuum of now moments, now

0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:05.320
<v Speaker 2>moments in which you and I exist. Your mind has

0:25:05.359 --> 0:25:09.600
<v Speaker 2>a database of previous now moments that you call the past.

0:25:11.000 --> 0:25:14.600
<v Speaker 2>You have a relationship in the present with those previous

0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:22.280
<v Speaker 2>now moments. That relationship thinking, processing, interpreting, obsessing with your past.

0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:23.600
<v Speaker 1>That relationship with your.

0:25:23.440 --> 0:25:29.240
<v Speaker 2>Past determines the way in which your previous experiences impact

0:25:29.240 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 2>your present. Mental emotional and physical states. So too, your

0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:37.400
<v Speaker 2>mind has a capacity, maybe even a tendency, to obsess

0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:44.080
<v Speaker 2>about theoretical yet to happen events and outcomes and problems

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:48.360
<v Speaker 2>that may or may not exist in the future, thereby

0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:53.359
<v Speaker 2>creating real stress, mental and emotional in the now. So

0:25:53.520 --> 0:25:58.520
<v Speaker 2>we are stressing about things that may happen in the future. That,

0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:00.919
<v Speaker 2>by the way, most of things we worry about happening

0:26:00.920 --> 0:26:03.520
<v Speaker 2>in the future. There's a research done on this. It's

0:26:03.560 --> 0:26:08.520
<v Speaker 2>something like ninety two percent don't happen. So we spend

0:26:08.520 --> 0:26:11.399
<v Speaker 2>a lot of time worrying about things that might happen

0:26:11.440 --> 0:26:15.160
<v Speaker 2>but don't don't eventuate, and then of the ones that do,

0:26:15.480 --> 0:26:18.240
<v Speaker 2>I think it was eight percent. I think only about

0:26:18.359 --> 0:26:21.000
<v Speaker 2>half of those eight percent, So four percent actually turn

0:26:21.080 --> 0:26:24.480
<v Speaker 2>out to be something, you know, very difficult or traumatic

0:26:24.600 --> 0:26:27.280
<v Speaker 2>or something hard to deal with. So that doesn't mean

0:26:27.440 --> 0:26:30.199
<v Speaker 2>bad things are not going to happen, of course, But

0:26:30.680 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 2>the truth is that for many of us right now,

0:26:33.240 --> 0:26:36.160
<v Speaker 2>maybe if you this is not the case, but right

0:26:36.200 --> 0:26:40.879
<v Speaker 2>now is okay. Right now is somewhere between not bad

0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:46.000
<v Speaker 2>and really fucking good. So to acknowledge that there will

0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 2>be a future and things will happen, and to forward,

0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:53.280
<v Speaker 2>plan and think about what we might do, be, create, change, acquire,

0:26:53.440 --> 0:26:57.359
<v Speaker 2>learn you know, unlearn in the future is good, but

0:26:57.520 --> 0:27:02.679
<v Speaker 2>obsessing about potential problems is not good because obsession and

0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 2>rumination just puts us in a place physiologically endocrime system,

0:27:08.119 --> 0:27:14.720
<v Speaker 2>blood pressure, cardiovascular health, endocrime system, all of these things

0:27:14.720 --> 0:27:17.040
<v Speaker 2>that puts us in a place in the now where

0:27:17.080 --> 0:27:20.280
<v Speaker 2>we are anxious now about a thing that might happen

0:27:20.280 --> 0:27:23.600
<v Speaker 2>in the future, or stress now about something that isn't

0:27:23.600 --> 0:27:27.399
<v Speaker 2>occurring and probably won. The challenge for us is to

0:27:28.200 --> 0:27:31.760
<v Speaker 2>acknowledge the past without being held prisoner by the past

0:27:32.320 --> 0:27:34.960
<v Speaker 2>totally acknowledge easier said than done, and there are lots

0:27:35.000 --> 0:27:38.359
<v Speaker 2>of variables around this, and full respect to people who've

0:27:38.400 --> 0:27:42.040
<v Speaker 2>been through traumatic things, but also we can go through

0:27:42.080 --> 0:27:47.640
<v Speaker 2>trauma acknowledge what was, understand that it was fucking horrible,

0:27:48.240 --> 0:27:49.200
<v Speaker 2>but also go then.

0:27:49.320 --> 0:27:51.080
<v Speaker 1>Is not now then?

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:54.199
<v Speaker 2>Is not now, next week, next month, next year, is

0:27:54.240 --> 0:27:58.680
<v Speaker 2>not now Right now, in this moment, in this present

0:27:59.000 --> 0:28:04.439
<v Speaker 2>kind of reac that I inhabit, things are okay. So

0:28:04.800 --> 0:28:08.719
<v Speaker 2>should we ruminate on the past, preferably not? Can we

0:28:08.840 --> 0:28:13.639
<v Speaker 2>remember the past? Of course we're going to but really

0:28:13.680 --> 0:28:16.040
<v Speaker 2>the only place that we're ever going to live is

0:28:16.080 --> 0:28:25.240
<v Speaker 2>in this moment as you hear these words, because living, existing, behaving, loving, connecting,

0:28:25.760 --> 0:28:32.439
<v Speaker 2>laughing are all present tense verbs. This next one is

0:28:32.560 --> 0:28:34.639
<v Speaker 2>very random and does not tie in at all with

0:28:34.800 --> 0:28:37.240
<v Speaker 2>anything I've said, But that's the beauty of just looking

0:28:37.280 --> 0:28:41.520
<v Speaker 2>through your notes. What is the type of physical workspace

0:28:41.880 --> 0:28:47.720
<v Speaker 2>that works optimally for your cognitive function, for your creativity, focus,

0:28:47.960 --> 0:28:55.400
<v Speaker 2>emotional state, and productivity. We often don't think about that.

0:28:56.280 --> 0:29:00.600
<v Speaker 2>I know for me, the environment, the physical space, the

0:29:00.760 --> 0:29:05.400
<v Speaker 2>outlook through my windows, the furniture, the way that everything

0:29:05.480 --> 0:29:10.320
<v Speaker 2>is set up has a big impact on, yes, my

0:29:10.400 --> 0:29:12.680
<v Speaker 2>mindset and my productivity and efficiency.

0:29:13.120 --> 0:29:14.320
<v Speaker 1>But it also.

0:29:15.720 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 2>In the simplest of terms, when I'm working in my office,

0:29:18.440 --> 0:29:24.080
<v Speaker 2>which I love, which is a very calm, familiar, pleasing

0:29:24.200 --> 0:29:30.640
<v Speaker 2>space for me, I'm happier. I'm happier all things aside,

0:29:31.520 --> 0:29:35.160
<v Speaker 2>and when I work in this space, when I sit

0:29:35.240 --> 0:29:37.400
<v Speaker 2>in this chair that I'm now sitting in this room

0:29:37.400 --> 0:29:40.880
<v Speaker 2>that I'm now in, with the multiple windows in front

0:29:40.880 --> 0:29:43.840
<v Speaker 2>of me, looking at nature, looking at bamboo trees, looking

0:29:43.880 --> 0:29:47.000
<v Speaker 2>at my garden, looking at all these cool things, seeing

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 2>a few birds right now, sitting on a.

0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:50.960
<v Speaker 1>Branch of a tree out. So all of that stuff.

0:29:52.520 --> 0:29:55.840
<v Speaker 2>The type of physical space or environment that we work

0:29:55.880 --> 0:30:00.360
<v Speaker 2>in that we live in makes quite an impact on

0:30:00.440 --> 0:30:04.680
<v Speaker 2>our internal reality that sometimes we don't even recognize. I know,

0:30:04.840 --> 0:30:09.080
<v Speaker 2>for example, if I sit in one of the rooms downstairs,

0:30:09.160 --> 0:30:13.320
<v Speaker 2>I have a recording studio downstairs. If I try and

0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:18.680
<v Speaker 2>do written work or creative work, I don't use that studio,

0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:22.120
<v Speaker 2>by the way, anymore. I'm upstairs in my office, which

0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:25.760
<v Speaker 2>has a studio setup. But I know that it's a

0:30:25.840 --> 0:30:28.440
<v Speaker 2>nice room down there. But this one up here, it's different.

0:30:28.600 --> 0:30:33.160
<v Speaker 2>It's better. I'm better. I feel like I'm a bit

0:30:33.200 --> 0:30:36.440
<v Speaker 2>smarter in this room. I feel like I'm more comfortable.

0:30:37.240 --> 0:30:39.560
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I can focus better. In fact, I

0:30:39.600 --> 0:30:42.360
<v Speaker 2>don't feel like it. I know all that, and so

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:46.360
<v Speaker 2>trying to understand where do I work best? What is

0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:49.000
<v Speaker 2>great for my brain? What is great for my nervous system?

0:30:49.440 --> 0:30:56.000
<v Speaker 2>What is great for my body? Where is that place? Alright,

0:30:56.160 --> 0:30:58.960
<v Speaker 2>let's do one more. Haven't them read all the way

0:30:59.000 --> 0:31:01.000
<v Speaker 2>through this one? I probably should pre read it, but

0:31:01.160 --> 0:31:03.480
<v Speaker 2>I like the first few lines this a little bit longer.

0:31:04.200 --> 0:31:07.240
<v Speaker 2>What is a good life? We all want to live

0:31:07.240 --> 0:31:09.600
<v Speaker 2>a good life. Nobody wants to live a bad life,

0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 2>of course, But what exactly does that mean? Is a

0:31:13.520 --> 0:31:16.800
<v Speaker 2>good life different for different people or is it the same,

0:31:18.400 --> 0:31:21.760
<v Speaker 2>or is it different for the same person over their lifetime?

0:31:23.200 --> 0:31:27.520
<v Speaker 2>Like twenty years ago, my version of a good life

0:31:28.560 --> 0:31:32.120
<v Speaker 2>at that point on my journey, I can say with

0:31:32.280 --> 0:31:35.800
<v Speaker 2>some confidence was slightly different to where I am now

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:40.560
<v Speaker 2>at sixty two. My version of a good life. Does

0:31:40.600 --> 0:31:46.280
<v Speaker 2>a good situation, family, job, house, money, lifestyle, Does that

0:31:46.520 --> 0:31:49.720
<v Speaker 2>necessarily equal a good life? And if not, why not?

0:31:51.120 --> 0:31:55.040
<v Speaker 2>What are the symptoms of a good life? I don't

0:31:55.080 --> 0:31:56.800
<v Speaker 2>know why I write that word, but I quite like it.

0:31:57.160 --> 0:31:58.120
<v Speaker 2>What are the symptoms?

0:31:58.160 --> 0:32:00.800
<v Speaker 1>Like? What would we see? What would what would be.

0:32:00.840 --> 0:32:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Evident with somebody that's in the middle of a good life?

0:32:04.560 --> 0:32:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Is it about the scene stuff or the unseen stuff?

0:32:08.320 --> 0:32:12.640
<v Speaker 2>Is a good life about the internal, non physical world

0:32:12.720 --> 0:32:17.320
<v Speaker 2>of thoughts and feelings and connection and creativity and purpose

0:32:17.320 --> 0:32:20.880
<v Speaker 2>and inspiration? Or is a good life about what's being

0:32:21.000 --> 0:32:25.160
<v Speaker 2>created and achieved and changed and conquered in that physical,

0:32:25.200 --> 0:32:29.800
<v Speaker 2>three dimensional world, that external world that everyone can see?

0:32:29.920 --> 0:32:32.480
<v Speaker 2>Or maybe and I think maybe.

0:32:32.160 --> 0:32:32.800
<v Speaker 1>This is it?

0:32:32.840 --> 0:32:36.320
<v Speaker 2>Maybe for me anyway, maybe it's a combination of both.

0:32:37.600 --> 0:32:39.920
<v Speaker 2>Is it possible that our idea of.

0:32:39.840 --> 0:32:42.440
<v Speaker 1>A good life? What is a good life?

0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:45.360
<v Speaker 2>Doesn't live up to the reality of it when we

0:32:45.440 --> 0:32:48.200
<v Speaker 2>get it or when we get what we thought was

0:32:48.240 --> 0:32:51.440
<v Speaker 2>going to be a good life. And where does our idea,

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:55.600
<v Speaker 2>or our understanding, or our belief about or our concept

0:32:55.640 --> 0:32:58.720
<v Speaker 2>of a good life come from? Did Mum and Dad

0:32:58.760 --> 0:33:00.000
<v Speaker 2>give it to you?

0:33:00.440 --> 0:33:03.520
<v Speaker 1>Is it culture? Is it society? Is it media? Is

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:04.480
<v Speaker 1>it social media?

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:07.920
<v Speaker 2>Or maybe your idea of a good life has come

0:33:07.960 --> 0:33:13.680
<v Speaker 2>from something deeper, something more instinctive and intuitive and innate

0:33:13.920 --> 0:33:20.560
<v Speaker 2>and internal. And I guess the interesting thing is, and

0:33:20.640 --> 0:33:22.920
<v Speaker 2>I know this is very superficial, like we're not doing

0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:25.280
<v Speaker 2>a deep dive into any of this today, but I

0:33:25.400 --> 0:33:27.600
<v Speaker 2>encourage you. If I've said or spoken about one idea

0:33:27.680 --> 0:33:30.800
<v Speaker 2>or concept that is meaningful for you, maybe you might

0:33:30.840 --> 0:33:32.400
<v Speaker 2>want to do a deep dive. Maybe you want to

0:33:32.400 --> 0:33:35.640
<v Speaker 2>sit down with your own boring word document and write

0:33:35.640 --> 0:33:38.520
<v Speaker 2>the question and answer the question and think about it deeply.

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:43.120
<v Speaker 2>Like nobody wants to live a bad life. If I

0:33:43.160 --> 0:33:44.800
<v Speaker 2>walk into a room of one hundred or tw hundred

0:33:44.800 --> 0:33:46.160
<v Speaker 2>people who put up Yann, who wants to live a

0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:49.480
<v Speaker 2>bad life, Nobody, of course put up Yann. If you

0:33:49.480 --> 0:33:51.560
<v Speaker 2>want to live a good life. Everybody cool? What does

0:33:51.600 --> 0:33:54.960
<v Speaker 2>that mean? People go ah? Or most people won't be

0:33:55.000 --> 0:34:00.600
<v Speaker 2>able to describe that exactly. We just kind of, oh,

0:34:00.840 --> 0:34:05.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, I guess having enough dough and not being sick,

0:34:05.440 --> 0:34:07.800
<v Speaker 2>and maybe all of that's part of it. But is

0:34:07.800 --> 0:34:11.319
<v Speaker 2>that all of it? Is that the totality of what

0:34:11.360 --> 0:34:13.200
<v Speaker 2>you want in and for your life?

0:34:14.000 --> 0:34:15.520
<v Speaker 1>And I just why do.

0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:20.799
<v Speaker 2>I consciously ask these questions? Well, I truly believe that

0:34:20.880 --> 0:34:24.520
<v Speaker 2>most of us are wasting some of our potential, if

0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:30.080
<v Speaker 2>not a lot. I believe that we are consistently doing

0:34:30.200 --> 0:34:35.239
<v Speaker 2>things habitually that don't work, that don't serve us. I

0:34:35.280 --> 0:34:39.280
<v Speaker 2>think we live in thoughts and ideas and psychological patterns

0:34:39.320 --> 0:34:44.480
<v Speaker 2>and even practical behaviors that are more destructive than productive.

0:34:45.640 --> 0:34:48.680
<v Speaker 2>And I think in many ways we are living an

0:34:48.760 --> 0:34:52.960
<v Speaker 2>unconscious life, not a conscious life. And I very much

0:34:53.000 --> 0:34:57.040
<v Speaker 2>believe that there is a positive correlation between living consciously

0:34:57.280 --> 0:35:01.439
<v Speaker 2>and intentionally and creating the good life that we want,

0:35:02.360 --> 0:35:06.960
<v Speaker 2>rather than I'm in some kind of emotional, cognitive, social,

0:35:07.560 --> 0:35:14.719
<v Speaker 2>relational behavioral groundhog day where I kind of wake up

0:35:14.800 --> 0:35:16.680
<v Speaker 2>most days of the year and I kind of do

0:35:16.760 --> 0:35:20.400
<v Speaker 2>a version of what I always do, and by the

0:35:20.440 --> 0:35:23.000
<v Speaker 2>way in the middle of that groundhog day. I'm not

0:35:23.080 --> 0:35:27.560
<v Speaker 2>particularly happy, I'm not particularly fulfilled. I'm not super healthy

0:35:27.600 --> 0:35:31.600
<v Speaker 2>physically and mentally emotionally, I'm not making great progress. I'm

0:35:31.640 --> 0:35:34.359
<v Speaker 2>not learning a lot. I'm not evolving. Now that may

0:35:34.440 --> 0:35:38.759
<v Speaker 2>not be you, so forget this. But if that is you,

0:35:38.960 --> 0:35:41.680
<v Speaker 2>or part of that is you, there's no self loathing,

0:35:41.680 --> 0:35:45.680
<v Speaker 2>there's no hate, there's no judgment or criticism. Hopefully, there's

0:35:45.840 --> 0:35:51.719
<v Speaker 2>just awareness. I know that my life will not accidentally

0:35:51.840 --> 0:35:54.920
<v Speaker 2>end up amazing. I know that I'm not going to

0:35:54.920 --> 0:35:57.040
<v Speaker 2>wake up when I'm sixty five and go, fuck, how

0:35:57.080 --> 0:36:00.759
<v Speaker 2>did I get here? This is incredible? Wow, all of

0:36:00.800 --> 0:36:03.839
<v Speaker 2>these amazing good things have happened. I've really developed, I've

0:36:04.239 --> 0:36:07.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, I know that that will not accidentally happen.

0:36:07.080 --> 0:36:09.560
<v Speaker 2>I know that if I, for example, I want to

0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:12.160
<v Speaker 2>be in physically similar shape too I am now in

0:36:12.280 --> 0:36:17.279
<v Speaker 2>three years or even eight years, then I need to

0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:20.360
<v Speaker 2>be able to do what works. I need to be

0:36:20.480 --> 0:36:24.680
<v Speaker 2>consciously and deliberately doing the things that will create that

0:36:24.760 --> 0:36:29.040
<v Speaker 2>good life or that good health, or that good relationship,

0:36:29.400 --> 0:36:32.640
<v Speaker 2>or that good bank balance, or those good outcomes that

0:36:32.680 --> 0:36:33.959
<v Speaker 2>I want to create in my life.

0:36:34.719 --> 0:36:35.560
<v Speaker 1>So one is.

0:36:35.520 --> 0:36:37.799
<v Speaker 2>Identifying What does that even mean for you? I guess

0:36:37.800 --> 0:36:42.160
<v Speaker 2>an analogous concept would be what is success for you?

0:36:42.520 --> 0:36:46.920
<v Speaker 2>It's the same. Nobody wants to be a failure. Everyone

0:36:46.960 --> 0:36:49.640
<v Speaker 2>wants to be in their own way, in their own world.

0:36:50.120 --> 0:36:54.400
<v Speaker 2>Everyone wants to be successful, but we really struggle to

0:36:54.440 --> 0:36:56.840
<v Speaker 2>create the thing that we can't define. I want to

0:36:56.880 --> 0:36:57.520
<v Speaker 2>be successful?

0:36:57.560 --> 0:36:57.920
<v Speaker 1>What is that?

0:36:58.080 --> 0:36:58.520
<v Speaker 2>Not sure?

0:37:00.080 --> 0:37:00.680
<v Speaker 1>I want to be it?

0:37:01.239 --> 0:37:03.279
<v Speaker 2>Well, maybe you should get sure, Maybe you should think,

0:37:03.320 --> 0:37:05.920
<v Speaker 2>maybe you should do a deep dive. What is it

0:37:05.960 --> 0:37:08.160
<v Speaker 2>that I really want? What are my values? What is

0:37:08.239 --> 0:37:10.239
<v Speaker 2>my purpose? What do I want to be doing with

0:37:10.280 --> 0:37:12.680
<v Speaker 2>my days? Do I love my job? Do I hate

0:37:12.719 --> 0:37:15.040
<v Speaker 2>my job? Could I change it? How could I change it?

0:37:15.320 --> 0:37:18.080
<v Speaker 2>What about my health and wellness and fitness? What about that?

0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:20.200
<v Speaker 2>Could I change my body? Or do I want to

0:37:20.239 --> 0:37:22.080
<v Speaker 2>just keep talking about it like I have for the

0:37:22.200 --> 0:37:23.320
<v Speaker 2>last twenty four years?

0:37:23.360 --> 0:37:26.239
<v Speaker 1>Do I want better healthy relationships? Cool?

0:37:26.320 --> 0:37:29.839
<v Speaker 2>How would that happen? What part of the solution could

0:37:29.880 --> 0:37:33.600
<v Speaker 2>I be? And I guess this is the overarching theme

0:37:33.760 --> 0:37:38.160
<v Speaker 2>for virtually everything I talk about. What is a good life?

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:42.759
<v Speaker 2>I think we'll leave it there. I know that was

0:37:42.840 --> 0:37:45.480
<v Speaker 2>lumpy and bumpy. I know I made a few bloody

0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:48.680
<v Speaker 2>mistakes here and there. I know it wasn't the slickest

0:37:48.800 --> 0:37:53.839
<v Speaker 2>or the smoothest, but I hope there's some takeaways for you.