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Speaker 1: The public has had a long held fascination with detectives.

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Speaker 1: Detective see aside of life the average persons never exposed her.

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Speaker 1: I spent thirty four years as a cop. For twenty

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Speaker 1: five of those years, I was catching killers. That's what

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Speaker 1: I did for a living. I was a homicide detective.

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Speaker 1: I'm no longer just interviewing bad guys. Instead, I'm taking

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Speaker 1: the public into the world in which I operated. The

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Speaker 1: guests I talk to each week have amazing stories from

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Speaker 1: all sides of the law. The interviews are raw and honest,

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Speaker 1: just like the people I talked to. Some of the

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Speaker 1: content and language might be confronting. That's because no one

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Speaker 1: who comes into contact with crime is left unchanged. Join

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Speaker 1: me now as I take you into this world. In

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Speaker 1: Part two of my chat with the very funny Nicki Justice,

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Speaker 1: we carried on from where we left off in part one,

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Speaker 1: when Nicki was telling us about her stripping career. In

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Speaker 1: this part, we talk further about Nicki's life as the

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Speaker 1: wife of a bike motherhood, becoming a tattoo artist, and

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Speaker 1: how she found her true self performing as a stand

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Speaker 1: up comic. Again, this was another interesting chat with a

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Speaker 1: wild woman, Nikki Justice welcome back.

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Speaker 2: Yes, good to be here.

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Speaker 1: Well part two. We made it through through part one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we covered a lot. Where are we up to?

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Speaker 1: We could have gone down rabbit holes all so many

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Speaker 1: different and varied stories. Yeah we did leave you performing

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Speaker 1: your first strip teas in part one.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So this is when I first became a stripper.

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Speaker 3: I started doing started out just wait to seeing and

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Speaker 3: then from there i'd start So I never I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't a club stripper, so I never worked in

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Speaker 3: a strip club. There was one time where I accidentally accidentally.

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Speaker 2: I worked in a club environment.

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Speaker 1: It was because wherefore lost your clothes accidentally?

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Speaker 3: So I thought I was getting booked for a waitressing job,

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Speaker 3: but it was at a pop up strip club inside Sexpo,

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Speaker 3: because I think they have that over here, And I

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Speaker 3: thought because my friend owned the Vodoo Land strip club

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Speaker 3: in Perth, which I did used to work out but

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Speaker 3: as a waitress, just a floor waitress before I started stripping,

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Speaker 3: so that was like one of my side hustles. So

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Speaker 3: I just used to do normal waitressing there and then

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Speaker 3: once I started doing the topless waitressing. Because I was

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Speaker 3: friends with her, she asked me if I wanted to

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Speaker 3: work at Sexpo and or shift there, and I just

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Speaker 3: assumed she meant as the topless nude waitressing because that's

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Speaker 3: what I did. And then when I got there, they

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Speaker 3: were like, you're up next. You got to do fifteen

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Speaker 3: minutes on the podium, and I was like, with the

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Speaker 3: pole and I'd never pulled ants before and it's actually hard.

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Speaker 2: There a lot of skill.

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Speaker 1: They used it as a like a gym session, and.

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Speaker 2: I kind of just thought I so I just I

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Speaker 2: gave it a crack like.

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Speaker 3: I but I didn't know that the pole moved on it.

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Speaker 3: So when I thought the way they're flipping around is

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Speaker 3: they actually so I kind of just clunkily threw myself

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Speaker 3: around really badly, and I was like, okay, I'm not

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Speaker 3: gonna I don't know how to do this, and so

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Speaker 3: I literally just sort of pranced around the podium, apologizing

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Speaker 3: to everyone sitting all the people sitting around the podium

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Speaker 3: and saying, oh my god, this is my first time.

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Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. They were laughing.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was hilarious and so we were just

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Speaker 3: like I just walked around in a couple of Benett snaps.

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Speaker 3: I was this is why I have a joke about

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Speaker 3: like I was like the ray Gun of stripping.

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Speaker 1: It was so bad, our world famous Olympians. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's if you should describe yourself that way, mate, I.

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Speaker 3: Think our moves were on par Like I I distinctly

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Speaker 3: remember doing abandoned snap, which is which is like the

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Speaker 3: striper equivalent of doing the bloody sprinkler or something. But

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Speaker 3: everyone was lovely there was I got my first lap

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Speaker 3: dance from that, so I did I did a lap dance,

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Speaker 3: which I also didn't know how to do, and I

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Speaker 3: got carpet burn on my knees. But that was my

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Speaker 3: first and early time in a strip clop all my

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Speaker 3: other stripping so I would do the waitressing jobs and

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Speaker 3: then from that led to so I was always at

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Speaker 3: like parties like so it was usually like Bucks parties

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Speaker 3: or footy wind ups and things like that, and then

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Speaker 3: I would do so I started doing dance shows, so

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Speaker 3: you would that was where you know, the stripper puts

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Speaker 3: on a show at the party. But I just did

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Speaker 3: the like the entry level strip show. So the tamer One, right,

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Speaker 3: so there was like the tamer One was just like

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Speaker 3: you know, you dance badly for me?

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Speaker 2: For me, dance badly.

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Speaker 3: There was like there's a couple of like signature stripper

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Speaker 3: moves that you get taught, and then most of it

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Speaker 3: was in the the sort of games, so you'd you know,

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Speaker 3: have some lollies and play with those, and there was

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Speaker 3: the cream so you do it was called a hot

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Speaker 3: cream strip, so you would get shaving cream, men shaving

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Speaker 3: cream and you would.

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Speaker 2: Put it on their bodies and light it up. And

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Speaker 2: I can't.

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Speaker 3: Believe we evern there's no ock health and safety in

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Speaker 3: this industry, and there probably should be, because I don't

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Speaker 3: feel like these men should be at our mercy because

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Speaker 3: I had not. I remember I remember being taught once

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Speaker 3: and just sent to a job and this is how

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Speaker 3: you got to do it.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, if I burn this man, we're both.

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Speaker 1: Like I'd been a bit reluctant to go to the

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Speaker 1: hospital saying how did you get burnt off?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Yeah, So that was just it was like a

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Speaker 3: theatrical thing. I feel a bit of a bit of fun,

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Speaker 3: and so that was that was what I did. And

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Speaker 3: then there was always there was other other other other

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Speaker 3: levels of stripping, but I never did those, but I

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Speaker 3: saw them. There was there's some some people were out there,

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Speaker 3: there's I saw. I've seeing some crazy things from strippers

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Speaker 3: like that are trying to like have a point of difference,

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Speaker 3: I guess, and make their show unique.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So how long did that? That career?

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Speaker 3: So that was actually quite short lived because I came

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Speaker 3: back from America, went straight into it, and it was

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Speaker 3: only I reckon maybe six weeks into my little striper

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Speaker 3: career that I met my ex husband, and so I

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Speaker 3: continued doing it for maybe three or four weeks after

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Speaker 3: we met, and then stopped because now I had a boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Well, so your parents were right, you need someone to

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Speaker 1: straighten you out. Yeah, okay, tell us about we touched

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Speaker 1: on it, but tell us about love at first sight

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Speaker 1: when you've you've gone to the clubhouse, because I would

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Speaker 1: imagine there'll be a bit of reluctance going to a

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Speaker 1: biking clubhouse. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I was pretty wayward at the time, and

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Speaker 3: I was quite reckless.

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Speaker 1: But even for me, why do you say that, nicking Well.

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Speaker 3: Because we didn't go into what I did in America.

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Speaker 3: But I was partying. I was, I was partying way

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Speaker 3: too hard. I was also I was still struggling with

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Speaker 3: my mental health. My mental health hadn't been good pretty

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Speaker 3: much since my teens, and yeah, I was quite reckless.

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Speaker 3: I think I had to live fast, die young mentality,

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Speaker 3: and I kind of was like probably doing things to

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Speaker 3: try and make that happen. And then I met my

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Speaker 3: ex husband and that'll stop for quite a while.

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Speaker 2: It did.

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Speaker 3: It kind of settled me down and behaved myself and

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Speaker 3: ended up. I guess I had a version of happiness

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Speaker 3: for a while, even if it wasn't perfect.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, relationships, yeah happened. You have some good, good

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Speaker 1: and bad.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, exactly, there's always good and bad, so it

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Speaker 3: always starts out good.

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Speaker 2: That's how you get sucked.

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Speaker 1: So okay, well you're not going to start it. It's

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Speaker 1: bad that sometimes I have, but anyway, we'll move on

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Speaker 1: with the recklessness. You were really live fast, die young

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Speaker 1: type attitude. You're going for it, Yeah, and that you

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Speaker 1: put that down to mental health or just your attitude

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Speaker 1: to life.

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Speaker 2: Or I think so. I actually think I was a

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Speaker 2: lot like my dad.

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Speaker 3: Like my dad was really spontaneous and ye reckless as

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Speaker 3: well with some of his decisions. I think I think

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Speaker 3: it was a mixture of my upbringing and my mental health,

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Speaker 3: which was probably caused by my upbringing, I guess, but

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Speaker 3: also I guess some of it's hereditary. Like both my

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Speaker 3: parents struggled with their mental health a lot, but they

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Speaker 3: also had like they didn't have the best childhoods either.

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Speaker 3: So as much as you know, they messed up a bit,

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Speaker 3: they were doing better with us than what they had, And.

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Speaker 1: I think that's that's important. You can't look back at

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Speaker 1: people that are brazy children the wrong way if they've

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Speaker 1: been raised the same way, like where I learned from you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, from as I used to.

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Speaker 3: I used to there was a period of like, especially

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Speaker 3: in my earlier twenties, I used to be quite resentful

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Speaker 3: and mad at my parents. And then as I got

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Speaker 3: older and you kind of just realized that we're all

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Speaker 3: humans and they were doing the best they could with

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Speaker 3: what they had, and they were in their own way,

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Speaker 3: they broke cycles because you know, we had a better

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Speaker 3: childhood when what they had. And then I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: do that same thing with my kids. I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: give my kids a better life than what I had.

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Speaker 3: But then I've still you know, still ended up. They're

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Speaker 3: probably gonna still need therapy, but who doesn't, Well, my kids,

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Speaker 3: My kids have a much more stable life than what

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Speaker 3: I had.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure your kids can come to you and tell

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Speaker 1: you anything than that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we have a really good relations.

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Speaker 1: Which I think is a good good thing to have.

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Speaker 2: I have a really good relationship with my kids.

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Speaker 3: My kids have probably like rarely seen me drink like

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Speaker 3: I have made sure like that's the thing I never

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Speaker 3: wanted my kids to experience. I didn't want my kids

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Speaker 3: to be around mum, you know, drunk or andred. So

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Speaker 3: so my kids haven't seen me in that state.

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Speaker 1: I think it's important with kids that them we're diverging

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Speaker 1: a little bit here, but with kids that parents should

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Speaker 1: be parents first before they become friends. Like you can

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Speaker 1: be you can be friends with your kids, but your

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Speaker 1: parenting hesitate the priority. And I see a lot of

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Speaker 1: kids go off track when their parents are treating them

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Speaker 1: like friends and they're not raining the mint.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that's what happened with me, is

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Speaker 3: my parents weren't definitely like I didn't have any boundaries.

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Speaker 3: I was sort of maybe maybe some mild ones, Like

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Speaker 3: I do something wrong and they be like, oh, you

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Speaker 3: shouldn't do that, but then nothing to forget about, yeah,

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Speaker 3: which I won't be doing with my children. I will

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Speaker 3: be trying to keep my children as young. Like I've

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Speaker 3: got a fourteen year old now, and that was the

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Speaker 3: age where I started misbehaving and mucking up and doing drugs.

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Speaker 3: And my son is so like, he's just a regular

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Speaker 3: fourteen year old kid, and he's quite innocent, and I'll

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Speaker 3: be horrified if he was suddenly doing speed or you know,

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Speaker 3: so I want to keep him away from that for

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Speaker 3: as long as possible.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you've got the experience, so it can be hard.

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Speaker 1: While he'd be hard to keep it away from.

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Speaker 3: He's a very sensible kid, though he's autistic, and he's

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Speaker 3: very black and white, and you know, he's very sensible.

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Speaker 3: And I think he's seen he sees people. He's seen people,

221
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Speaker 3: you know, be drunk or whatever, and he's just like,

222
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Speaker 3: I don't think I like that, Okay, yeah like that.

223
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Speaker 3: So I think he'll probably, like all kids will, eventually,

224
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Speaker 3: you know, go through there, you know, experimenting phase or

225
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Speaker 3: drinking and stuff. But I feel like he's got a

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Speaker 3: good head on his shoulders.

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Speaker 1: I hope, oh fingers crossed you lose them from I

228
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Speaker 1: reckon from about thirteen till coming out the other end

229
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Speaker 1: of about eighteen nineteen. Yeah, and you just got to

230
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Speaker 1: keep a close watch because they can go either way. Yeah. Yeah,

231
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Speaker 1: that informative period the time in their life. Yeah, they

232
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Speaker 1: get wrong friends and that okay, but we're not saying

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Speaker 1: you've got the wrong friend just because you've met your

234
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Speaker 1: future husband. As you've walked in to do a show

235
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Speaker 1: at a bikey clubhouse.

236
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

237
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Speaker 3: So I was just going to be waits sing yep,

238
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Speaker 3: and we ended up. So he answered the door. So

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Speaker 3: because I wasn't going to take the job at first,

240
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Speaker 3: they rang me back because I'd already They were like,

241
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Speaker 3: you available, I said yes, and they said it was

242
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Speaker 3: a clubhouse, so I said no. Then they rang me

243
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Speaker 3: back and they said we can't find anyone, and they

244
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Speaker 3: talked me into it.

245
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Speaker 2: So I went.

246
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Speaker 3: He answered the door, and I guess it wasn't what

247
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Speaker 3: I was expecting. So in my head because I hadn't

248
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Speaker 3: been around barkies really, so in my head they were

249
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Speaker 3: all all the bikies that I had been around were

250
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Speaker 3: like these old, old, fat, scary looking men, and he wasn't.

251
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Speaker 2: He was like younger.

252
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Speaker 3: He was like early thirties, and so I was a

253
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Speaker 3: bit surprised that it wasn't this big dirty barkie that

254
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Speaker 3: I was expecting. And yeah, we hit it off and

255
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Speaker 3: we ended up starting to see pretty quickly after that,

256
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Speaker 3: and then we were living together within a few weeks

257
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Speaker 3: after that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so the nikki warning signs worked up or whatever. Well,

259
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Speaker 1: I suppose what you've been through this doesn't seem so strange.

260
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Speaker 1: But did you consider what the life of a partner

261
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Speaker 1: and future wife of a biki Withinta?

262
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Speaker 3: I don't think I considered it properly until I was

263
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Speaker 3: already like in it, and I was like, oh, this

264
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Speaker 3: is my life now because we because when we first met,

265
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Speaker 3: I was young, single and didn't have any kids or anything.

266
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Speaker 3: So we partied a lot when I first met, But

267
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Speaker 3: then within seven months I got pregnant, so all of

268
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Speaker 3: a sudden, I was instead of instead of us just

269
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Speaker 3: being young and partying, it was like a serious relationship

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Speaker 3: and we're settling down and having kids. And that's when

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Speaker 3: I realized like, oh, this is going to be hard,

272
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Speaker 3: because suddenly I stopped parting and he didn't.

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Speaker 1: Right. Yeah, and the old daddy the club comes first?

274
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Speaker 1: How did that?

275
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Speaker 2: Those words?

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Speaker 3: And here all the time, all the time, it is

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Speaker 3: still thrown around a lot. Yeah, it's something that gets

278
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Speaker 3: said a lot, and it used to it would be upsetting.

279
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Speaker 3: But I think if there was like a family emergency

280
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Speaker 3: or something, then the club themselves would always want their

281
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Speaker 3: members to go and sort that emergency out. But some

282
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Speaker 3: members would take it more seriously than others. Like some

283
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Speaker 3: members would be like, yeah, club comes first, but I'm

284
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Speaker 3: also I've got to go watch my kids footy match

285
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Speaker 3: or I got to do this. There were some that

286
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Speaker 3: would and then others were just like, no, I've got

287
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,400
Speaker 3: to I've got it. Like everything was club club, club club,

288
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Speaker 3: So there was people dealt with differently.

289
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Speaker 1: And how did you find the fellas in the club?

290
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Speaker 1: How were you treat that there's a partner of one

291
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Speaker 1: of the.

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Speaker 3: Members hit and miss for I would say for the

293
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Speaker 3: most part, most of them were lovely, but there was

294
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Speaker 3: definitely some that I despised. Yeah, there's some members that

295
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Speaker 3: you know, like would be sleezy and you'd be like,

296
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Speaker 3: how don't you be sleezy, like I'm.

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Speaker 1: Your friend's wife, brothers.

298
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Speaker 2: Yeah, And that to me used to I'd like so much.

299
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Speaker 3: You all go on about loyalty and respect and it's like,

300
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Speaker 3: well that's not loyal or respectful, and you just kind

301
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,840
Speaker 3: of have to, oh, just laughing off his old or Yeah,

302
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 3: and there was also you know, there were some members

303
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 3: who I knew had done some really bad things and

304
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Speaker 3: I didn't respect or like that.

305
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Speaker 2: So it was it was, it was.

306
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Speaker 3: It was definitely hard knowing that you were around some

307
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Speaker 3: people and it went against your own moral values.

308
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Speaker 1: Yeah.

309
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you kind of just had to swallow things sometimes

310
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Speaker 3: and ignore suppress it, I guess. But there were Yeah,

311
00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,080
Speaker 3: there was good and bad. It's like it's like in

312
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,320
Speaker 3: any any circle of friends or any industry. I think

313
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 3: there's good and bads. Like even in the police force

314
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Speaker 3: it's got cops and bag pops, and there's actually there's

315
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,400
Speaker 3: actually quite a lot of men who, you know, they

316
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 3: might be what society deems as a criminal, but they

317
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,920
Speaker 3: were like, they were good family men, and they were

318
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,680
Speaker 3: really like they were nice friends and good people in

319
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Speaker 3: a moral sense, I guess, apart from the little crimes

320
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Speaker 3: they might commit.

321
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Speaker 2: Him.

322
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Speaker 1: I know, and I've had this discussion. I'm sure some

323
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,040
Speaker 1: people push back on it, but I'd like to see

324
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Speaker 1: good in most people. Sometimes when you identified some sleeze

325
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,200
Speaker 1: bags or committed a certain type of crime, they don't

326
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Speaker 1: get a chance. But quite often when you sit down,

327
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,440
Speaker 1: you step away and talk bikis generally here step away

328
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 1: from the bravado that they have to put on when

329
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,320
Speaker 1: they're around the club. You can have quite a good conversation.

330
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Speaker 1: And they've got values are not that dissimilar to the

331
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Speaker 1: values that I have. I've seen that, seen that with them.

332
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Speaker 1: So what was about your fellow that attracted you to him?

333
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 1: Besides you said he was a hot, good looking biking

334
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:38,480
Speaker 1: that you didn't expect.

335
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:43,840
Speaker 3: I wouldn't go that far. I guess it was like

336
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,480
Speaker 3: it was an instant kind of like attraction thing there.

337
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 3: But I definitely think at first I thought the barking

338
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,400
Speaker 3: thing was exciting, I guess, but that ended up wearing off.

339
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:59,000
Speaker 1: Okay, to talk us through that, because I often ask

340
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 1: people why did you join the gang? And they said

341
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: the excitement part of belonging. You know, you walk into

342
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,200
Speaker 1: a club and everyone looks at you. You know, you're

343
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: on your Harley's riding down the highway on the run,

344
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 1: that type of stuff. What was the glamor and excitement

345
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,160
Speaker 1: from a partner's point of view.

346
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,800
Speaker 3: Probably it's prettymost the same thing like it was I

347
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,640
Speaker 3: don't know. There was obviously the bad boy and that

348
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,840
Speaker 3: kind of thing when they would go on like the runs,

349
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,440
Speaker 3: or if there was like a big like anytime there

350
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 3: was a funeral, like everyone there would be hundreds of bikes,

351
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 3: and there was something exciting about that being part of

352
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 3: that procession.

353
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,760
Speaker 2: And I don't know, I don't know.

354
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 3: I think I think a lot of young girls, well

355
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 3: not not not no, probably not the girls that had

356
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:46,920
Speaker 3: good upbringings, but to see something exciting and glamorous in that,

357
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,280
Speaker 3: like you know, it's just exciting underbelly kind of lifestyle.

358
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,200
Speaker 3: And I think they've glamorized it a little bit as well,

359
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,320
Speaker 3: like seeing you know, gangsters on TV and things like that.

360
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 3: It was because I used to love underbelly, which that

361
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 3: was a you're part of it as.

362
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,000
Speaker 1: Well, yeah yeah, underbelly badness.

363
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, I think it was just yeah, I

364
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,920
Speaker 3: just had this idea in my head that was, did

365
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 3: you like.

366
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,239
Speaker 1: Part of the attraction was you being the bad girl too?

367
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,760
Speaker 1: Like maybe look at me, Yeah, I live outside the

368
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 1: norms of society.

369
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe maybe, But I think it all wore off

370
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,880
Speaker 3: pretty quickly, like like because once I became a mum,

371
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,439
Speaker 3: I really like, you know, I think. I think in

372
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,359
Speaker 3: my teens and early twenties, I was like quite a

373
00:17:29,359 --> 00:17:31,280
Speaker 3: little bit lost. And then when I became a mom,

374
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 3: I was like, I never I suddenly it was the

375
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,960
Speaker 3: first time in a laugh, I never questioned my place

376
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,840
Speaker 3: in the world. And I was. But that's when the

377
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,159
Speaker 3: sort of shine started to wear off, because I was like, well,

378
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 3: I just want to make this beautiful family, and I

379
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,080
Speaker 3: want to have a happy family. And I had this

380
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 3: idea in my head of what a happy family was

381
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 3: going to be like when I had one, or now

382
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 3: that I had my own, and I was trying so

383
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,840
Speaker 3: hard to make it like that. But it was really

384
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,439
Speaker 3: hard when you're you know, partner's are biki and he

385
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 3: wasn't prioritizing your family the way that you wanted him to.

386
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,480
Speaker 1: You wanted the white picket fence and three.

387
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:00,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was trying to sort of force that

388
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 3: and convince myself that I had it maybe, But because

389
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 3: for a little while we ended up with a house,

390
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 3: we had dogs, and we sort of had it, but

391
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 3: it wasn't Yeah, the club comes first.

392
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:12,640
Speaker 1: Stuff.

393
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 3: It used to get thrown around a lot because it

394
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:20,360
Speaker 3: was not home a lot during for periods of our relationship,

395
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 3: so I was doing a lot of the family stuff

396
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 3: by myself.

397
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 1: Did you get included in club functions like I know, Yeah,

398
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 1: they have their runs and different.

399
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 3: Things, not the run so the runs was always men only,

400
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 3: but like they would always so their club had.

401
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 2: They used to put on quite a lot of functions.

402
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,160
Speaker 3: So they used to do bin Doing Rock, which used

403
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,840
Speaker 3: to be this huge rock music festival in Wa and

404
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 3: then and then it became the Dirt Drugs, so they

405
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 3: have every year they do the Bingeing Dirt Drugs.

406
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:53,879
Speaker 2: It's a huge event.

407
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,520
Speaker 3: It ended up growing quite big and they have like

408
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 3: a burnout competition and.

409
00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 2: Stuff, so it's quite a big deal.

410
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,560
Speaker 3: They get like a few thousand people come in and

411
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,000
Speaker 3: with women would always help out with those kind of things.

412
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 3: They also put on a music festival one year and

413
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 3: I ended up getting a job as like so I

414
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,159
Speaker 3: was my job was to deal with all the bands

415
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 3: and book bands and deal with them actually like leading

416
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,120
Speaker 3: up to it. But then it was like the stage

417
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:22,560
Speaker 3: manager of the bands on the day. So whenever there

418
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 3: was like events and stuff, the women would always be

419
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 3: involved in that kind of stuff and like the parties

420
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 3: and stuff.

421
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 2: We'd cook all the food.

422
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 1: Okay, so for this exciting and outlaw lifestyle sounds like

423
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,919
Speaker 1: the local football team getting there.

424
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very similar. It's a lot like a footy

425
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,360
Speaker 2: club environment.

426
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, what about kids? Were they included in stuff?

427
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 2: Yeah?

428
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,719
Speaker 3: So a lot of a lot of the guys actually

429
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 3: are beyond the fan like and the club. The club themselves,

430
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 3: I think actually were quite well. I don't know what

431
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 3: all clubs are like, but this club had quite a

432
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 3: big family emphasis. I think a lot of the older

433
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 3: well I've heard not just I think, I've I heard

434
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 3: some of them say, like the older members, you know,

435
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:05,719
Speaker 3: they messed up quite badly when they were they had

436
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:09,359
Speaker 3: their kids growing up and so and they probably weren't

437
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 3: there for their kids.

438
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,479
Speaker 1: A lot and a lot of their kids ended up.

439
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:12,360
Speaker 2: A lot of their kids.

440
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 3: Ended up you know, you know, on drugs and m ding,

441
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 3: and a lot of them don't have relationships with their kids,

442
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,679
Speaker 3: and so they ended up having a bit of a

443
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 3: family like. We used to have family Night, a monthly

444
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 3: thing where each month a different member would be in

445
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,159
Speaker 3: charge of all, you know, bringing the food and have

446
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,640
Speaker 3: a family night where the kids and everyone would all come.

447
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 3: And most of their parties. Would you know, earlier on

448
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 3: would be kid friendly, they wouldn't bring the strippers out

449
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 3: till later they would have they would still have the waitresses.

450
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 3: So I remember picking my kid up once. So I

451
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 3: was I was working, I was doing a fringe show.

452
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 3: I was in a cabaret show, and I came I

453
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 3: had to leave my kids with my ex husband and

454
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 3: they had some event on at the clubhouse, and so

455
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,920
Speaker 3: I went to the show. I came back and I've

456
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,640
Speaker 3: walked into the clubhouse and my little like two three

457
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 3: year old old son, I think it was like two,

458
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 3: was being bounced on the knee of this stripers and

459
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 3: boos were just bouncing up around and she's got my

460
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 3: kid and my kids?

461
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 1: Is that this is cool?

462
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:15,120
Speaker 3: So yeah, different, different family orientated, but it was still

463
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 3: a little bit of inappropriate.

464
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: What about where the wives or partners. Was there jealousy

465
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: with the other girls that hang around with the clubs.

466
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, So the wives don't were A lot

467
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 3: of the wives didn't like the strippers. And because when

468
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 3: I first met my ex husband, I was the stripper. Yeah,

469
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 3: so I think it took a while for them to

470
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 3: warm up to me because they saw me as like

471
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 3: the enemy.

472
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 2: I guess.

473
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 3: So there was a bit of Oh yeah, there's a lot,

474
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 3: there's a lot of bitchiness.

475
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 2: There's a lot of bitches the moles. That's that's one

476
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 2: of the nicknames for the moles, barking moles. Coles is

477
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 2: more the derogatory term.

478
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 1: And there was a status being the partner or there was.

479
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 2: A wife, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

480
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 3: So there's definitely there's like there's strippers, and then there's hangarounds.

481
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: They call them onions.

482
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 3: The onions are the girls that will sleep with the guys,

483
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 3: but they're just sleeping with everyone. They don't really belong

484
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,440
Speaker 3: to any particular person. That just gets sort of passed around.

485
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 3: And then there's then there's you know, girlfriends, and then

486
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 3: wives and or wives and girlfriends are the same category,

487
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 3: I guess. But there was a definitely a like a

488
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 3: hierarchy of the moles. And there were certainly some women

489
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 3: that would like not give you the time and day

490
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 3: until you'd earned your place here and you had to

491
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 3: be a part of this for because we see people

492
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 3: come and go all the time and you might not

493
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 3: be here that long, and so some of them were

494
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,640
Speaker 3: really fucking mean.

495
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 1: Did some did some try to mentor you once they accepted.

496
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 3: Your No, I wouldn't say mentor me, but I definitely

497
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 3: because I was like, I have no filter and I

498
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 3: don't hold back, and so some I got told off

499
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 3: a few times for being out of place and shouldn't

500
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 3: I shouldn't be saying this, especially when I was knew.

501
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 3: But I'm just like, well, you're just a person to me,

502
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 3: and I'm going to treat you, I actually any person,

503
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,680
Speaker 3: and if you're being a dick, I'm I'm gonna be like, hey,

504
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,439
Speaker 3: don't do that, because it's that like a woman. One

505
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 3: of the women was mean to my friend at my

506
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 3: birthday party. She was like a proper wife that had

507
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 3: been around for ten years, and she was really rude

508
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,440
Speaker 3: to my friends. So I sort of called her out

509
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 3: on it and I was like, but I did it

510
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 3: politely as well. And then I got told off like

511
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 3: I shouldn't do that because she's been around for so long.

512
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, but she's been an asshole.

513
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't care how long anyone's been around, Like,

514
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 3: if you're being an asshole, I should be allowed to say, hey,

515
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 3: don't do that.

516
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: So the structures and rules that they have in place

517
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 1: also sort of filtered across to the women.

518
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 2: And yeah, I guess.

519
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 1: So, because I'm not saying I'm seeing here laughing at Bikey's,

520
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 1: but where rebels were going to do this, And I'm

521
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: not talking about the rebel gang. I'm just saying rebels,

522
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 1: we're going to rebel against society. And then you read

523
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 1: all the rules that you got to work bye bye,

524
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: and you think she is It's yeah, no, I.

525
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 2: Laughed at that as well.

526
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 3: It's like you're you're meant to be, you know, you

527
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 3: don't want authority, but then there's a lot of authority.

528
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 3: But every club is different, so they don't have a

529
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,199
Speaker 3: president or like people have their roles and stuff. I

530
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 3: think I think there's people it doesn't go it's like unsaid,

531
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 3: but there's definitely people who probably think they're in charge

532
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 3: and are treated like they're in charge, but it's not.

533
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 3: There's no official president or anything like that.

534
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 1: Did you get a sense on the functions where they

535
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: were on the piece and everything else. Did you get

536
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: the sense of menace in the air all the time,

537
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 1: because it's.

538
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: A yeah, like there was definitely so.

539
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 1: Like a family time at Christmas is all.

540
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 3: Almost every party would end with someone getting punched, right, Okay,

541
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 3: So I was always like nervous about bringing outsiders in,

542
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 3: like to come to a party, because you just be

543
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 3: like my brother used to hang around, and I was

544
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 3: always worried.

545
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 2: That he'd be the one who'd end up getting punched into.

546
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, because and also sometimes like some of these members

547
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 3: are just being dickheads, like because it's their domain and

548
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,719
Speaker 3: they can get it do so sometimes sometimes someone might

549
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 3: be out of line and that's why they get punched.

550
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,479
Speaker 3: Sometimes they're getting punched purely because a member wants to.

551
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 3: They can't really do anything about it. So, yeah, I

552
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 3: didn't like that.

553
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 1: Now, I wouldn't imagine that it's a very relaxing atmosphere.

554
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 3: Well I think, yeah, it was a very different environment

555
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,000
Speaker 3: when you were there sober or when you were there partying.

556
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: Because if I was partying, it was fun. If I

557
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: was there sober, it was stressful.

558
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, did you any did you ever start any problems?

559
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 2: Oh definitely, I would. I wouldn't say I used to.

560
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,160
Speaker 3: I think I would have said I didn't start things,

561
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 3: but if someone, like if someone started something with me.

562
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: I was quite feisty, and boys dress as well.

563
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: I'd like to strip her with a thong once, like

564
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: a foot thong.

565
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: She stole it.

566
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: She stole my song, so okay, but she started it.

567
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: I'm sure you were in the rock. I'm sure that

568
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: the club would have backed you one hundred percent. She's

569
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,159
Speaker 1: still your thong, a foot thong. Where we're podcasts, so

570
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 1: people wanted to see, Well, it's.

571
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,879
Speaker 3: In case you got any American listeners or because they

572
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 3: a thong to them is the G string?

573
00:25:55,680 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, okay. Tattoos when did you you start delving

574
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: into tattoos, so not only on your body but also

575
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 1: tatoo are they?

576
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 2: Yeah?

577
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: So I was always into tatoos, like even before I

578
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 3: met my ex husband, because the tatoo and biky world

579
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 3: quite linked. But I got my first tatoo, I actually know,

580
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 3: my first tatoo was a little one, but then my

581
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 3: second tatoo I got was a big one. So I

582
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 3: got my whole back tattooed for my like my second

583
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 3: or third tatoo. Yeah, I think I got two little.

584
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: Ones in Bali and then my big one in Nikki.

585
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 3: And so yeah, I've been I don't I think you

586
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 3: should put more thought into your tatoos because I don't

587
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 3: like a lot of my tattoos.

588
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,840
Speaker 2: It's not like I don't care that much.

589
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 3: Like I just think, you know, we're in this skin

590
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,719
Speaker 3: suit and it's all gonna we're all gonna age, and

591
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 3: I don't think it matters too much. But in hindsight

592
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,719
Speaker 3: I would choose differently, or even some of them I

593
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 3: just wouldn't get at all.

594
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 1: Do you care to offer advice on the ones that

595
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: you don't like?

596
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 3: Well, because it's so tattoos are like, it's like fashion,

597
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 3: and there's trends, and trends change, and so now what

598
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 3: was cool you know twenty years ago makes.

599
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: You look old age? Yeah?

600
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so you know, I think my sleeve, I like,

601
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 3: I think my sleeve is fine. It's nice, but I

602
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:16,959
Speaker 3: think it's quite dated.

603
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 1: Uh.

604
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 3: And so there's that. I think there's there's trends that

605
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 3: go around that people are gonna regret, Like because I

606
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 3: became a tatoo artist and there's a lot of these,

607
00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 3: you know, girls that didn't have any tattoos and now

608
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 3: they're covered in these little, tiny, fine line ones.

609
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: But like everywhere, they're gonna hate those.

610
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,200
Speaker 3: They're gonna you know, they're gonna spread as they get older,

611
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: and they're gonna go and spend thousands of dollars and

612
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 3: a lot of pain getting them lazy. So I do

613
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 3: think a little bit more thoughts should be put into

614
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 3: your tattoos. And that's just coming from someone who regrets.

615
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: A lot of So what what what would you recommend

616
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 1: to someone getting a tatoo? And I suppose that depends

617
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: stage of life and not all that, but what what's

618
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 1: the type of cautionary tail you would say?

619
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 2: Don't do it impulsively?

620
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 3: Is because most of mine were chosen on impulse or

621
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 3: like last minute sort of doubt.

622
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 2: And I think I get decision paralysis.

623
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 3: So I would be like, I don't know what to fine,

624
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 3: I'll just get that. And then I was like, oh,

625
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 3: I wish I got you know. But I also don't

626
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,120
Speaker 3: think it's that deep. I don't think it's a big deal,

627
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 3: even if, like I don't necessarily like all of my tattoos.

628
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 3: But I also am like, wow, yeah, I don't care.

629
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,440
Speaker 1: You've got the what say the butterfly on your theme?

630
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, so this is one of the ones I regret.

631
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 3: This is going to be the first one our laser When.

632
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: When did you get that? And what were you what

633
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: were you.

634
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 3: So I got when I got this, so I became

635
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:35,959
Speaker 3: a tatoo. I was still in a tatoo apprentice and

636
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 3: at that point, like I'd started doing comedy, but I

637
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 3: was very new to comedy and I never really at

638
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 3: that point didn't picture myself being able to do it

639
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 3: full time like I am now. So at the time,

640
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 3: I was a tatoo apprentice and I thought that was

641
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 3: going to be my future. So I was like, well,

642
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 3: my mom as well, just cover myself in more tattoos.

643
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 3: And so I got this one and I was kind

644
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 3: of talked into it, and this is the first one

645
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 3: old laser because it's actually not a bad tatoo, but

646
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 3: it is slightly.

647
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: It's slightly tilted on the wrong angle. You can see it.

648
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 2: It's not straight.

649
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 3: And we had an argument over this during the placement

650
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 3: of it, because he was putting it on my neck

651
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, it's not straight.

652
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 2: Can we change it?

653
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 3: And he got mad at me because I was the

654
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 3: apprentice and he was like, don't question me.

655
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, but it's not straight.

656
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 3: And then so we got someone else involved, and you

657
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 3: could tell he didn't want to question him either, and

658
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 3: he was trying to be like. He's like, oh, I

659
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 3: can sort of see what nick he's saying, but you know,

660
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 3: he's also right, it's not that big a deal.

661
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's my neck. It will always be seen.

662
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: And so he.

663
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 3: Moved it, but they ended up pretty much in the

664
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 3: same spot, and so then it was like, do you

665
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 3: want it or not? And I was like, oh, fine,

666
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 3: just do it. And I regret saying that I should

667
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 3: have either made him change it and move it again

668
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: or not done it. But I just went through that,

669
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 3: and I regretted it ever since because it annoys me

670
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 3: that it's on the piece of it. And I also

671
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 3: I think I think it was the fact that it

672
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 3: was not a good day. We didn't we didn't get along,

673
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 3: we were arguing, and so I just like, I would

674
00:29:58,960 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 3: like it gone.

675
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: Okay, just bad memories.

676
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was a dick. I don't need any memories.

677
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: Get rid of it.

678
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 3: He's like the most embarrassinglypon my relationship history.

679
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 1: No wait, I can't give the guy a paul chance

680
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: of response, so I won't delve into it.

681
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we don't need to go.

682
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: Okay the other street, were you into art?

683
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

684
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I always was into art, and so it

685
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 3: was actually when I was in America, because I've always

686
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 3: loved drawing.

687
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: Oky, we're going to fight. What happened in America, Well, it.

688
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,920
Speaker 2: Was while I was over there that I started drawing again.

689
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: I hadn't drawn since, like my earlier teens, it had

690
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 3: been a while since i'd put a pencil of paper.

691
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 3: So I was doing a little bit of drawing over there,

692
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 3: and and I was like, Okay, when I get back,

693
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 3: I'm going to try and become a tatoo artist. Then

694
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 3: I met my ex husband, and obviously there's a lot

695
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 3: of crossover with Barkie tatoo shops and Barkie, so I

696
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 3: was like, oh, that'd be easy to get a job,

697
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 3: but the reality of a tatoo apprenticeship is very long hours.

698
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 3: And because I'd started a family that my ex husband

699
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 3: didn't really want me spending that much time in an apprenticeship.

700
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 3: So it was always like, you know, one day, one day,

701
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 3: one day, and then it never happened. But I still

702
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,959
Speaker 3: kept so I used to do. So I studied art

703
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 3: for a little while. So when I when so, so

704
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 3: after we got married and I had a kid, I

705
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: went back to work and I was. That's when I

706
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 3: started working in project management in a for a construction company.

707
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 3: And it was while I was there I started studying.

708
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 3: I was first I was studying. I was trying to

709
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 3: get into law. Actually, I actually I've studied a lot.

710
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 2: So there's many jobs as I had.

711
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 3: I've probably studied just as many degrees and they never finished.

712
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: But the very first one I ever studied was security,

713
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 3: terrorism and counter terrorism. And then I quit when I

714
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 3: realized the only outcome of this is to become a cop.

715
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, in hindsight, I look back and go, maybe

716
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: I shouldn't been a cop, but.

717
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 2: Well I joined.

718
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 3: I signed up to that one because I, in my

719
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 3: silly little hair, I wanted to be a spy. I

720
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 3: was like, I want to become like a secret agent

721
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 3: spy because I watched some spy movies and thought it

722
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 3: was cool, and I was like, how do I become one?

723
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: Like I wanted to be an assassin. So I signed

724
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 2: up for that degree.

725
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: Spy, Spies, spies, artcle and I keep talking about Jack Bowman.

726
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're out there you need one, I'll

727
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 3: still know it. Good cover comedian.

728
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: I want to be that law What was what was

729
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: law even more, I.

730
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 3: Think because being around a lot of crime and they

731
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 3: needed lawyers all the time, it could be lucrative for

732
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 3: me and I could also help out a lot. But

733
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 3: I actually really enjoyed studying law. So one of my

734
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,479
Speaker 3: ex husband's the club's lawyers, I got along with her

735
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 3: quite well, and I got and she was their criminal lawyer,

736
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 3: and I just had a big interest in it, and.

737
00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 2: I actually did really well. So I was studying.

738
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 3: I had to sign up first for a different degree

739
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 3: to get into law, but I only had to finish

740
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 3: four units and then I could have got in it.

741
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: I was able to use due to electives in law,

742
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 3: and I've got hard distinctions on both.

743
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: And I really really easy subject.

744
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 3: Because despite as crazy as I found, I was always

745
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 3: a nerd at school before I went off the rails.

746
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 2: I was a nerd.

747
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 3: I was always top of my class in primary school

748
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 3: before I started going off the rails in high school.

749
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 3: But I actually like I was always a bookworm and

750
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 3: I loved I loved studying, so I would study, but

751
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 3: I study last minute, so I would stay up all night.

752
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 3: The night before it was Dubi du at eight am,

753
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 3: and I'd stay up all night and i'd like, just

754
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 3: get this rush and I'd just do my assignment and

755
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: it would be and it would be great. So I

756
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 3: was my written assignments, I'd always nail, so i'd always

757
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 3: get like top marks. For those exams where I had

758
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 3: to remember stuff, That's where I struggled.

759
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, all right, Well if I had a look

760
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 1: at a lot of different stuff.

761
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, But then so I digressed. We were talking about art.

762
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 3: So I was studying law, and I was going to

763
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 3: be a lawyer. I want to be a criminal lawyer obviously.

764
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 3: And then and that was where my dad passed away.

765
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 3: And it was when my dad passed away that I

766
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 3: gave up on that because I decided instead I would

767
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: follow my heart and be a hippie and do art.

768
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,479
Speaker 3: And so I changed to an arts degree and I

769
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 3: did maybe four or five units of an arts degree

770
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 3: before I gave up on that as well, because I

771
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 3: was like, I don't feel like I need to spend

772
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 3: twenty grand to learn how to do ar.

773
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: I'll just watch it on YouTube.

774
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you can pick it up with your father

775
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: dying and it's always a war the shed moment. But

776
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: that's changed your outlook on life.

777
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 3: So my little reason. So my dad passed away twenty twelve.

778
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,959
Speaker 3: So by then I had been married for one year

779
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,760
Speaker 3: and with my ex for almost three yeah, three years,

780
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: two and a half three years. So by then I

781
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 3: had I had a toddler, and my dad and I

782
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 3: were quite close. But my dad had so my dad.

783
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 3: My parents, like I said, they got on the straight

784
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,320
Speaker 3: and narrow pretty much after the circus. For quite some

785
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 3: time they were doing quite well. They both ended up

786
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 3: having good jobs. They made this like new life for

787
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 3: themselves and they'd really settled down. And then my dad

788
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 3: was definitely still a dabbler, so he used to party

789
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 3: with us at the club like he I think he

790
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 3: was quite enamored by the barking thing.

791
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: Mum would all a joke at last, my daughter's finally.

792
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 3: Mom used to say, I think dad always wanted to

793
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 3: be a barky and he was in a Christian biker

794
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 3: group when.

795
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 2: When I was a kid, he joined a Christian.

796
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I think it was something he'd probably

797
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 3: would have liked to have done, and he was he

798
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 3: was probably around it a bit.

799
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,759
Speaker 1: Well you made your dad pray out, Yeah I did.

800
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 2: And so he's a party with.

801
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 3: Us and occasionally, and so I actually have like some

802
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 3: great memories of doing acid with my dad, which I

803
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,320
Speaker 3: am glad I have those memories, because you know, you

804
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 3: laugh NonStop and you have silly, deep conversations when you're

805
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 3: high that you wouldn't have when you're straight.

806
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 1: So I've had some very good or very bad.

807
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but for me.

808
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 3: It went good, and I am glad I have those

809
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 3: memories with my dad. And then so so my dad,

810
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: he's still parted a little bit, but he had he

811
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 3: had had a good job. He was mostly you know,

812
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,839
Speaker 3: living quite stably, and then he had an accident at work,

813
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 3: which meant he could no longer work, and I think

814
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,800
Speaker 3: that was his downfall. So idle hands became the devil's playground,

815
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 3: and he got back into drugs quite heavily, quite quickly,

816
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 3: and then he went downhill really fast after. So I

817
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 3: could think he had the accident in October, and he

818
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 3: was definitely still Leading up to the accident, there was

819
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 3: you know, maybe some problems.

820
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 2: He was maybe dabbling a little.

821
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: Bit too much sometimes when he would because he was

822
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 3: five four, so it was when he come home. But

823
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 3: then the accident just meant he had nothing to stop

824
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 3: him from because usually he would have to you got

825
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 3: to go to work, you got to not take drugs

826
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 3: because you've got to get drug tested. And then as

827
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 3: soon as that was gone, he just Yeah. So by

828
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 3: December he had things got like really bad. There was

829
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 3: so many like messy family problems. Yeah, December twenty twenty twelve,

830
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 3: he ended up taking his own life, which sucked. Yeah,

831
00:36:55,880 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 3: we had a complicated relationship. We were close, but I

832
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 3: also was at the time, I was not very happy

833
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 3: with him, Like I was telling him he needs to

834
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 3: pull his head in. Yeah, and I wanted him to

835
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,399
Speaker 3: pull his head in like he was even for even

836
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 3: for the bikies. He was doing too much because my

837
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,399
Speaker 3: ex husband's club sort of had a rule about meth

838
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 3: heads and stuff like that they didn't associate with them

839
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,439
Speaker 3: and you weren't allowed to do it. Their associates weren't

840
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:21,239
Speaker 3: allowed to do it. And I think my dad was

841
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,479
Speaker 3: on thin ice like with my ex husband as well,

842
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 3: because he knew what he was doing.

843
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 2: And yeah, so we did.

844
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 3: We did have many chats, Like I think we spoke

845
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,799
Speaker 3: a few days before he did it, and he knew

846
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 3: he was struggling, and he told me he was struggling mentally,

847
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: and you know, we sort of thought it was in

848
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 3: part because of his job, but he was also you know,

849
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 3: he wasn't perfect before before that. But yeah, we had

850
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 3: we had a big chat about everything because there'd been

851
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 3: a big family argument and I had to go over

852
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 3: there to try and sort of settle it down and

853
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 3: sort it out. And so we had a huge chat

854
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 3: a few days before he died, and the end of

855
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 3: the chat, like, he definitely I remember him bringing up

856
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 3: suicide or having suicidal thoughts. And and because I have

857
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 3: also had suicidal thoughts where we talked to you know,

858
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, we have these thoughts sometimes, but we

859
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 3: will never do that to each other. Because we actually

860
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 3: had a family friend whose son committed suicide a few

861
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 3: years earlier, and we saw like just how devastating it was,

862
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 3: and so because that was only quite recent as well,

863
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 3: I thought we left the conversation on the same page that, yeah,

864
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 3: we get these thoughts sometimes, we'll never do that to

865
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 3: each other. We love each other and you know, always

866
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 3: be here for you, blah blah blah. And then a

867
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 3: few days later he was gone, Yeah.

868
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: I can see why, that's that's painful for you.

869
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, so it definitely sucked, but it also was the

870
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 3: catalyst for changing my life because that was it took,

871
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 3: It took. It was a long process, but that was when.

872
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 3: So losing my dad is what sort of put me

873
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:47,680
Speaker 3: on a path of wanting to have a better life,

874
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 3: I guess, and I was. I became a little bit

875
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 3: spiritual during that time as well, and I didn't want

876
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 3: to I didn't want to party, and I didn't want

877
00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 3: that lifestyle anymore. And it also, I think because I

878
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 3: became a little bit spiritual and startup folks, and I

879
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,959
Speaker 3: think I was trying to heal myself from losing him,

880
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 3: but what I ended up doing was also heal myself

881
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 3: and make me realize I don't want to be in

882
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 3: this situation anymore where you know, I wasn't in a

883
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 3: happy relationship and I didn't like I didn't like the

884
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 3: boundaries that you know were always been crossed and stuff.

885
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 3: So eventually that's what led to me not wanting to.

886
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 2: Be married anymore.

887
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 3: And so yeah, all these things a domino effect. But yeah,

888
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 3: losing my dad was awful and hard, but it also

889
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,439
Speaker 3: taught me a lot and made me grow a lot

890
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 3: as a person.

891
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you still feel like a kid when you've

892
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:41,400
Speaker 1: got your dad to sound things past and once they're gone,

893
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: it makes you reflect. Yeah, so okay, we've gone through that,

894
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 1: the relationship eight years you were married, separation that that

895
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,240
Speaker 1: would be, well, any separations hard. Is it hard separating

896
00:39:56,280 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: from a biking you have to get approved from the

897
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: club or no.

898
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 3: The club's not involved in it in any way really,

899
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 3: But it was real.

900
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 2: It was a really messy breakup. It was.

901
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 3: It was quite difficult, and it was quite hostile as well,

902
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 3: and uh, yeah, it was. It was up there with

903
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 3: one of the worst things I've been through, like losing

904
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: my dad and that initial.

905
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 2: Breakup it was.

906
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 3: It was pretty brutal and it took took a long

907
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 3: time for things to settle down, but eventually they did.

908
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 3: And now fortunately we actually get along and we co

909
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 3: parent nicely and the kids, you know, get to see

910
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 3: both parents at you know, functions and events and we

911
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 3: all we've even been on holidays together and stuff.

912
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: So full that.

913
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 3: The way, yeah, and the difference it made on my kids,

914
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 3: Like once we started getting along, you could see it

915
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 3: was huge. So I think that's really important for families

916
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,080
Speaker 3: and for kids to see their parents getting along and

917
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 3: you have to.

918
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 2: You have to forgive things that people don't say sorry for.

919
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 1: You got it. You've got to suck it in. Yeah,

920
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,439
Speaker 1: you really really do for the sake of the kids

921
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: if you can.

922
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 3: And also, in hindsight, I didn't handle everything perfectly either.

923
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:09,719
Speaker 3: No one's faultless.

924
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: No, I don't think anyone anyone does. But if you

925
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 1: can give that priority to the kids. So congratulations to

926
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 1: both of you.

927
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 2: And we're very lucky to be in a situation we

928
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 2: are now.

929
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 1: So this whole life that you've lived is just to

930
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: give you stories so you could be a stand up comedian.

931
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: I've been working under cover all these years.

932
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,600
Speaker 2: It kind of made it worth it, doesn't it.

933
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 3: At least I've because I've always had these crazy stories,

934
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 3: but like just sitting around, you know, having a drink

935
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 3: with someone and oh wow, now I actually have a

936
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 3: platform to tell them and make them into jokes.

937
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: And so how did you find your way there doing

938
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 1: stand up comedy? So because you've tried a lot of things.

939
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So after I left my ex husband, it

940
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 3: was twenty twenty one when I started stand up. So

941
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 3: by twenty twenty one, I'd gone back to stripping as

942
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 3: soon as we broke up because we had a business

943
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,080
Speaker 3: together but closed it down. I started closing the business,

944
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:11,800
Speaker 3: so I knew we were going to break up before

945
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 3: he knew, but he probably knew as well because he

946
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 3: was also I was, we'll both make a moves. He

947
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 3: got a new girlfriend. I closed down our business so

948
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 3: I could go with Chess.

949
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,440
Speaker 2: So I think we both knew we were on the rocks.

950
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 3: And so my therapist had actually suggested closing the business

951
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,120
Speaker 3: down and starting to get my ducks in a row

952
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:31,959
Speaker 3: because I talked about wanting to leave.

953
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 2: And then.

954
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 3: So we had a memorial business. We used to make

955
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 3: headstones and photo engraved memorials and stuff. So I went

956
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 3: back to stripping as soon as pretty much as soon

957
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 3: as I became a single arm because I suddenly needed

958
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 3: income and it was the easiest and quickest thing I

959
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 3: knew I could get straight back into.

960
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 2: And fortunately I also lost a lot of because I

961
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:55,439
Speaker 2: only just had a baby.

962
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 3: But I lost a lot of baby wait, because I

963
00:42:58,440 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 3: going through a heartbreak.

964
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 2: Does wonders for the figure I've.

965
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: Seen that the breakup dime.

966
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone're like you look great. I'm like, yeah, I

967
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 2: got by.

968
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: So much.

969
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I went back to stripping.

970
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 3: So I was still stripping when I started comedy, and

971
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 3: I think it was one of the lockdowns had sort

972
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 3: of triggered it. So we were in a lockdown and

973
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: I posted like a parody song making fun of my failures.

974
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 3: It was it was to the sound of silence, but

975
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 3: I called it the sound of failure, and it was

976
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 3: about my failed marriage and my failed only fans and

977
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 3: my fail because the only fans didn't.

978
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 2: Actually end up happening. My joke was that I only

979
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: had one fan.

980
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 3: He was my only fan, and anyway, so I made

981
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 3: up this silly little thing, and I was posting. I

982
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 3: was always posting silly stuff on my stories. And a

983
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 3: comedian because I'd been to a few comedy shows, and

984
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 3: a comedian followed me and he commented on one of

985
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,880
Speaker 3: my things hashtag comedian and that I think that's what

986
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 3: planted the seed. And then not long after that, I

987
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 3: the seed had sort of been planted, and then I

988
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:09,439
Speaker 3: just made that parody that people thought was funny, and yeah,

989
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,359
Speaker 3: so I started. I think I started like thinking, oh,

990
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 3: maybe I could do some jokes, and then they kind

991
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 3: of just came to me naturally. Like I remember being

992
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 3: in the bathroom doing my makeup, and then I just

993
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 3: started laughing at my thought process and I was like

994
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 3: just reliving stories, but I was making them a bit

995
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 3: funnier and throwing on a punchline.

996
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 2: And so I recorded myself. I pretended I had an audience.

997
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 3: I recorded myself doing a couple of these little ideas

998
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 3: in my head, and I sent them to some friends

999
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 3: and I was like, is this funny? And look, they

1000
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 3: were probably just being nice to me, but they said yes,

1001
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 3: And so I was like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna

1002
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 3: do an open mic. And I got onto an open

1003
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 3: mic like a week after that, and I was really

1004
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 3: fortunate because I got onto like one of the best

1005
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 3: open mics in Perth. So the best club in Perth

1006
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 3: is the Comedy Lounge, and they used to have a

1007
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 3: Wednesday open mic night and they stopped doing it like

1008
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 3: about two weeks after I got on, so I was

1009
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 3: quite lucky. I got a really good gig for my

1010
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 3: first one, and it went quite well. Hindsight, I have

1011
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 3: watched that video. It is so cringe. It was so bad.

1012
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 3: I was the audience was laughing, but also a good

1013
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 3: chunk of the audience were my friends. So I had,

1014
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 3: I had a support crew. I was also a little

1015
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 3: bit high. I had my friend who I hadn't seen

1016
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 3: in years. It was just this chick who saw that

1017
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 3: I posted about doing it, and she came along and

1018
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 3: I hadn't seen her in like eight years, and she

1019
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 3: had mushrooms in her bag. And this is like, because

1020
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 3: I was on in the second half, and so we're

1021
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 3: just watching the first half and she's like, I've got

1022
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 3: some mushrooms. Do you want a mushroom? And I was like, okay.

1023
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 3: So I just had one little one, not enough to

1024
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 3: like trip balls, but enough to make me laugh at

1025
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 3: my own jokes.

1026
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 2: I thought I was hilarious.

1027
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 3: And so I was on stage and it gave me confidence,

1028
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 3: I guess. So I feel like I'm glad I had

1029
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 3: the mushroom because of very differently.

1030
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, what you just said there. If you've got confidence,

1031
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,280
Speaker 1: like I felt good, there's nothing worse than someone on stage.

1032
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: It's feeling yeah.

1033
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 3: And then I because I do struggle a lot with

1034
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,880
Speaker 3: anxiety and nervousness, and sometimes it does come through on stage.

1035
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 2: I get the shake, so like.

1036
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,800
Speaker 3: Sometimes I can I can control I can calm myself

1037
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 3: down enough to control what's coming out of my mouth.

1038
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 3: But there'll be like physical signs, like sometimes my hand

1039
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 3: will be shaking, and the hand I'm like, fine, people

1040
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 3: notice it, but it's not that big deal.

1041
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,839
Speaker 2: If my legs start shaking, I'm fucked because it's all

1042
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:17,800
Speaker 2: so obvious.

1043
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 3: Yeah that's that sucks when but that hasn't happened in

1044
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 3: a long time.

1045
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: Touch with it.

1046
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 2: But the handshake, I get the handshakes.

1047
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 1: But you're as good as without putting pressure on you.

1048
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: You're good as your last performance. Like you're doing stand

1049
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,960
Speaker 1: up comedy. You're out there, this crowd there come to

1050
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: pay to see you. Yeah whatever.

1051
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, You're always feeling like you're trying to get good enough,

1052
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 3: and then when you finally feel like you're good enough,

1053
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,319
Speaker 3: you get you do another gig after and you're like,

1054
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 3: oh fuck, I just because my show at Perth Fringe,

1055
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 3: well this year I won Best Comedy and I thought

1056
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 3: that was my moment.

1057
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:47,959
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, now I'm good enough.

1058
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 3: And then I went to the next festival and it

1059
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 3: didn't do as well, like it was just harder, and I.

1060
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: Was like, ah, I still, well, I think you've always

1061
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 1: got to look for that improvement, Like it never be satisfied,

1062
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: because if I think you went out there without the nerves,

1063
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: you're going to crash. Yeah.

1064
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 3: Sure, And I'm actually excited knowing what I know now.

1065
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,360
Speaker 3: So when I first started comedy, everyone would say, oh,

1066
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: you've got to do it for at least three years

1067
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 3: before you've you know, before you're actually any good. And

1068
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 3: I was like, I'll be fine, and that was so right.

1069
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 3: It takes it takes years and to develop. And you know,

1070
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 3: there's a few exceptions to the rule, who you know,

1071
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 3: take off quickly, like Andrew.

1072
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: We'll talk about Andrew later.

1073
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,239
Speaker 2: Here's an exception to the rule, but most people do

1074
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 2: have to.

1075
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 3: And so even though I know I've got heaps of

1076
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 3: room for improvement, and I always feeling like I'm not

1077
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 3: quite good enough, but I know I'm doing pretty well

1078
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,720
Speaker 3: for where I'm at and how long I've been doing comedy,

1079
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 3: and I'm excited to see where I'm at in another

1080
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 3: three years, four years, five years, because you can only

1081
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 3: keep getting better.

1082
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 2: The more stage time you get, the better you get.

1083
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 1: Imagine, like stage presence is crucial. You've got to have

1084
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 1: that d be funny, but if you're not delivering them,

1085
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: and I.

1086
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:01,720
Speaker 2: Can feel the difference.

1087
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes you just have a set and you're just

1088
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 3: like that was really like you just felt really present

1089
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 3: and grounded, and it was like a really flowy set

1090
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 3: instead of just reciting things. And I know that once

1091
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 3: eventually that'll come naturally and it will happen all the time,

1092
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 3: whereas now it's like, I'm still I'm still battling with

1093
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 3: my nerves a lot.

1094
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: Do you go out there with and I'm curious because

1095
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: I think I can understand the challenge of getting out

1096
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,360
Speaker 1: there and trying to make people laugh. Do you go

1097
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: out there and know you're at the bathim like the

1098
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: timings and all that. Or do you go out there

1099
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 1: and you've got a rough idea and then you look

1100
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: at the audience and go, Okay, this is working. That's

1101
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 1: not How do you prepare?

1102
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 3: So when you're first, right, like when you're first writing

1103
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 3: new material, it's more well, for me, it's more of

1104
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 3: an idea, like I'll sometimes try and write it out,

1105
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 3: but often it'll just be like, I've got this idea

1106
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 3: and sometimes it's better to go You've got to go

1107
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 3: to open mics. You don't do this when there's a

1108
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 3: good gig. But so you kind of just work it out,

1109
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 3: and you'll say it the first time and be like, Okay,

1110
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 3: this bit work, this bit didn't, and you just have

1111
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 3: to keep going to open MIC's risking that it's going

1112
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 3: to not work and bomb.

1113
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 2: Until you get it right.

1114
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 3: And then once you get it right, you kind of

1115
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 3: you kind of you can change it up a little

1116
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 3: bit sometimes, and sometimes things will happen naturally on the spot.

1117
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 3: So sometimes even though I've got my set sort of verbatim,

1118
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 3: a new thought will pop in or something might have

1119
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 3: happened that night that you can call back to and

1120
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 3: work it in, and so it does sort of become

1121
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 3: a little bit fluid, but you sort of know what

1122
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 3: you're going to say.

1123
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 1: That's a real talent, but there isn't going out there

1124
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 1: with the confidence that you know you've got something that

1125
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: can become fluid and I'm going to nail it. Now

1126
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 1: is my time? Yeah, and annail it. What's your what's

1127
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: your big crash and burn story?

1128
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:49,240
Speaker 2: If you had one story, I've definitely bombed. We're all bombed.

1129
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 2: We've all bombed. I had so I've.

1130
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 3: Got a very bad memory, probably partly from ad D,

1131
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 3: partly from all the drugs I talk when I was younger,

1132
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 3: but my memory really bad, and so when if something

1133
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 3: throws me off on stage, it's really hard for me

1134
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 3: to find my way back to where I was. And

1135
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 3: there was one time, it was only one time, but

1136
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 3: I couldn't remember. I just could not remember where I was.

1137
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 3: I couldn't remember what to do next. I just went blank,

1138
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 3: like complete mental blank. And I get mental blanks in

1139
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,919
Speaker 3: life a lot, but on stage it was the first

1140
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 3: time it happened where I went blank, and I just

1141
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 3: couldn't dig myself out. And I had because normally you

1142
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:26,880
Speaker 3: have a mental blank and then you might, you know,

1143
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 3: you might delay things a little bit without the audience

1144
00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 3: really knowing, and then you will find a way out

1145
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 3: of it. But this time I just couldn't, and I

1146
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 3: had to literally just say I've gone blank. I don't

1147
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 3: remember what I was what I was saying, and it

1148
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 3: was so awkward, and it was at a gig where

1149
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:43,880
Speaker 3: it was already I was quite nervous. I think that

1150
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 3: was probably partly why I had a mental blank. I

1151
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 3: was really nervous because it was like a sea of

1152
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,839
Speaker 3: older people and I thought, oh this, I'm a lot

1153
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 3: for these My stuff's going to be a lot for

1154
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 3: these people.

1155
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:56,720
Speaker 2: So I was really nervous.

1156
00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,840
Speaker 3: Already and yeah, that was that was I did end

1157
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 3: up continuing, so I eventually changed tech, went to a

1158
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 3: remembered a joke that I could tell and went on

1159
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 3: with it, but because it just ruined by set, because

1160
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,560
Speaker 3: I was like, I was halfway part way through a joke,

1161
00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 3: couldn't finish it, and then had to do this awkward

1162
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:17,839
Speaker 3: that that's so yeah.

1163
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: I've had that moment once and it was terrifying, and

1164
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 1: I was doing a live show and I had a

1165
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 1: monologue to know twenty thirty minutes, lights were too low

1166
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 1: or whatever, and I've just got I was like a

1167
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: deer in the sty Yeah you do. And as you

1168
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 1: describe that, that's exactly who am I. It just went

1169
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,760
Speaker 1: blank and then saw the real gathered. But it sticks

1170
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 1: with your mind for the rest of the rest of

1171
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 1: the rest of the time.

1172
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 3: So it was always It's always been my worst fear

1173
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 3: to go blank, and then it happened. Yeah, But I

1174
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,840
Speaker 3: think what I like to say is when people you know,

1175
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,479
Speaker 3: afraid of things, because one of my mottos is feel

1176
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 3: the fear and do it anyway. And when the worst

1177
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 3: happens at the end of the day, it's actually not

1178
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 3: that bad. Like, yeah, it sucked, it was embarrassing. Those

1179
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 3: people probably think I suck, and you know, I don't

1180
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 3: know if they ever see me again, and they probably think, oh,

1181
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 3: she's terrible. But that's I mean, that's the worst of it.

1182
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 3: And then you can go on and have a really

1183
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 3: good gig. And I think everyone's had a bad gig

1184
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 3: as well. I don't think you've done comedy properly if

1185
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 3: you haven't had a bad game.

1186
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 1: And I would imagine with it, it's about and you

1187
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 1: said you at the game of the open mics, and

1188
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: it's about paying your dues, isn't It's about taking those

1189
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 1: knocks and getting those laughs and getting the field, getting

1190
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:34,880
Speaker 1: the room and all that. I just think it's fascinating.

1191
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 1: I think it's a real challenging career. You put yourself

1192
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: out there, more confronting than stripping.

1193
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,960
Speaker 2: I think, oh yeah, way easier.

1194
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: So with the woke society today, how do you navigate

1195
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 1: the way through there? Because sometimes I always laugh at

1196
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 1: People's probably the wrong way to say it, but when

1197
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: people go to a stand up that's there to shock you,

1198
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: and then they complain that the comic has said something

1199
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: that's offensive or someone takes afense to it. How do

1200
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 1: you navigate your way through that.

1201
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:11,279
Speaker 3: I generally, if I come up with a joke that

1202
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 3: I think is funny but I know it might be

1203
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 3: a little offensive, I'll still try it.

1204
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,879
Speaker 2: And sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

1205
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 3: Like I have one joke that I got rid of

1206
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: because I was like, okay, it is funny and most

1207
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 3: people do laugh, but then a lot of people.

1208
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 2: Like you shouldn't say that.

1209
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then and I'll probably still pull it out.

1210
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 3: If I can tell we're in a kind of crowd

1211
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 3: that will be okay with it, I'll probably still do it.

1212
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 3: If we're in like a big browdy, you pub kind

1213
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 3: of crowd where they're full of bogans, they would love it.

1214
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: Just a way of getting through. Like some could say,

1215
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,280
Speaker 1: you've had a traumatic life in different things that's happened,

1216
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,240
Speaker 1: But to be able to laugh, doesn't that make a difference. Yeah,

1217
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 1: you're talking about your childhood. Others could be saying, oh,

1218
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: my parents did this and hide behind that. You embrace it,

1219
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 1: deal with it and take some humor from Yeah.

1220
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,839
Speaker 3: Well, I think you know there's are my own last

1221
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 3: people we laugh at our traumas and our misfortunes all

1222
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 3: the time.

1223
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 2: I think that's a human thing to do.

1224
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 1: Keep it up because I think I know through time

1225
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 1: in homicide and not just from the policing point of view,

1226
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,840
Speaker 1: the victim's point of views, and that you've got to

1227
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:17,160
Speaker 1: find some brightness in the darkness, Like the world's dark enough.

1228
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, let's have a laugh, laugh at there. Like

1229
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 1: a lot of your jokes, I would imagine the laughing

1230
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: at your own expense. So yeah, that's a good attitude.

1231
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 1: Speaking of laughing at own expenses that I'm not sure

1232
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 1: if they put it in the love category, but you

1233
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 1: are seeing a person that's known to I Catch Killers,

1234
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 1: Andrew Hamilton, that we are allowed to mention these names.

1235
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine, Okay.

1236
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: Andrew Hamilton, who's appeared on this podcast and people might

1237
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 1: remember him as the man that got locked up for

1238
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 1: selling mushrooms, and he also hosted our Christmas special last year,

1239
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: which was quite funny. He turned the microphones on me.

1240
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 1: I just want to ask you a question without putting

1241
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: shit on Andrew. He told me what I thought was

1242
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: one of the funniest to rest stories. And I've heard

1243
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,880
Speaker 1: a lot, seen a lot where he was on the

1244
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: back of a three day bender and the cops have

1245
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,839
Speaker 1: knocked on the door, they've come in. He's run up

1246
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 1: up the stairs to get rid of his get rid

1247
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: of his stash, and was complaining about how long it

1248
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 1: takes to flush stuff down the toilet when the cops

1249
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: are running up the stairs. And then Andrew and his

1250
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:26,440
Speaker 1: drug fucked mind at that point in time decide to

1251
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 1: hide behind the door like a little kid playing hide

1252
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: and seek, and when the cop came in, he claims

1253
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: Andrew claims, and we haven't been able to verify that

1254
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:39,480
Speaker 1: the cop knocked him to the ground and called him

1255
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:44,040
Speaker 1: a fat fuck with a small penis. Should Andrew sue

1256
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:49,400
Speaker 1: the police over that? Or is it because part of

1257
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 1: the defense is well.

1258
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 2: It's true some people that growers not showers.

1259
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 1: At that. Well, look, I reckon you to together would

1260
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 1: be hilarious, hilarious combination and thank you for coming on

1261
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 1: here and sharing your stories. It's been fascinating. I wasn't

1262
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 1: memory lane, I wasn't sure where or how the prepared.

1263
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,959
Speaker 1: I think we've discussed things on eye catch killers today

1264
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:18,920
Speaker 1: that we'll probably never discuss again. But it's all about

1265
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 1: having a bit of fun, all the best for your future.

1266
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:24,799
Speaker 1: For people that want to see your act, where can

1267
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 1: they find out what you're doing?

1268
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 3: So I'm touring at the moment. I'm always adding new

1269
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 3: tour dates, so if you just follow me Instagram or Facebook.

1270
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 3: So Nikki Justice Comedy on Instagram or Facebook.

1271
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 2: Also Nick Justice Comedy.

1272
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:39,280
Speaker 1: Good stuff.

1273
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 2: Thanks Nikki, thank you, thanks for having me.